//------------------------------// // Luna Eclipsed // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence // by StormLuna //------------------------------// Dear Princess Celestia, I have come to the conclusion that this town truly is pathetic. It seems like they are always holding parties or some other sort of festival that glorifies laziness and hinders productivity on a near constant basis. Here we go again, this time it seems like they are holding a festival that is intended to fatten the foals up for slaughter while using your sister's evil form as a cover, Nightmare Night is what I think they call it. Now normally I would avoid such activities but given the nature of it, I thought I would go out and see which foal, once fattened up, that I would want to steal and haul off to the taxidermist. Hey, you sent me down here to learn and I may as well find out what fattened up foals taste like, right? You know what, forget picking a foal. The most immature of my acquaintances is out fattening herself up too so once she gets fat enough, I'll club her over the head, put her out of her misery and then turn her into supper for a few days. If I can get rid of even just one of them, this Element dynamic will be fractured and then I can return home where I belong. You know what really irks me and makes me realize that the simpletons in this town need better education? I had decided to dress up as Starswirl the Bearded while I hunted for my future, meaty meal and nopony even knew who he was! What a bunch of pathetic losers. Perhaps I should just round them all up, put them all out of their misery and haul them all off to the taxidermist. Just think then, I could have my very own town! Ponyville, no make that Twilytown: Population 1...no make that 3 because I certainly wouldn't kill those spa twins because they make me too happy. Now I had never even heard of Nightmare Night until I came down here but after doing some talking, I learned that sadly, it isn't about fattening foals up for slaughter, it is about some "scary legend" about your sister's evil alter ego coming out and eating ponies who aren't in costume. What a dumb legend, last time I checked Luna wasn't a cannibal. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised though, the stupidity of this town only gets worse as time goes by. Out of curiosity, did you know that they have a statue of Nightmare Moon that they dump candy in front of down here? What a waste, not only are they wasting candy but they are also polluting down here too. I think that is a good enough reason to punish this place, like wipe it off the map for such a serious crime. It wouldn't be long after I discovered this though that the guest of honor would arrive. I was not expecting this but your sister decided to attend this festival and my first question would be, why? I am going to admit, the way she was received down here was horrible. They were all scared of her and nopony told ADHD filly that Luna is no longer Nightmare Moon nor is she a cannibal. What a bunch of idiots, Luna seems nice enough but because of my moronic acquaintance, no matter how hard she tried to fit in and befriend these peons, Pinkie continued to make everypony scared of her and eventually she decided to leave. Believe it or not I actually felt some empathy for her. Yep, for the first time in my life I actually felt bad for somepony so I went to talk to her and after a brief talk and some advice from PETA girl, Luna decided she would give it another go in town. At first she actually started to fit in until she decided to save that pirate colt from drowning. Despite her act of selflessness, Pinkie again accused her of cannibalism and because of that, your sister did away with Nightmare Night forever. You know something, I decided that because your sister is so rational, I decided to go and see if she wanted to be friends. What you're going to find even stranger is that her and I actually had a long talk and we connected on one thing, we connected on the fact that you have been a bitch towards both of us. You banished her to the moon and you banished me to this dump. Hell, I even decided that I would not initiate her. She is the only pony truly deserving of friendship with me, no bootie-calls, no initiation, just friendship, talking and hanging out. Like what any good friend would do, I put the pony who was making her life hell in her place and I got the rest of this town to realize that she is not evil and now she feels like some ponies care about her. Whether or not they were merely acting since she is a princess or if they truly care about her or not I'm not sure but I do know one thing, she is happier than she has been in over a thousand years. I can't help but wonder one thing though, what if she had killed you back in the day? My guess is that Equestria would have been a much better place. Your Disloyal Student, Twilight Sparkle To My Disloyal Student, One part of me is disgusted and one part of me is shocked. I am disgusted by the fact that you are sitting down there wanting to feast on foals simply because of a festival that is all about fattening them up. Outside of cake, you always did have strange tastes for food growing up but I never once saw you as a cannibal. Ok, I get it, you think that if you kill and eat Pinkie once she is fattened up enough that you can come home. Murdering ponies you are supposed to befriend will only get you banished to places you would not find pleasant. In your case, I'm thinking that forcing you to be Rarity's full time fashion model would be more than enough punishment for you. I am surprised though that you befriended my sister, especially in a way that does not involve initiation. What irks me though is that the two of you bonded because I have allegedly been a bitch towards both of you. I am going to have to confront her over this and let her know that I was not a bitch to her. She needs to know that what I did was an act of self-defense, not me being a bitch. Now remember, no killing your acquaintances or anypony else for that matter or Rarity will have a full time fashion model. Your Overlord, Princess Celestia Dear Princess Luna, I want to thank you for coming down to the Nightmare Night Festival. Yes I know things did not start out well when you arrived and one of my acquaintances that your sister insists I befriend was to blame. It is because of things like that that I don't want to befriend her. I can understand why the ponies down here would want to befriend her but you understand why I don't, right? Now I have asked around and I have learned that the ponies down here like you a whole lot more than they do your sister. Once you got past the yelling and reinstated the festival, they felt like they could relate with you. We do hope that you will accept our invitation to next year's event. If you do want to come, let me know what your favorite foods are and I'll make sure we have what you want and set up a festival truly worthy of your greatness. Hoping to See You Again Soon....Your Loyal Subject, Twilight Sparkle P.S. I am sorry about Fluttershy thinking you were Nightmare Moon. She is still a bit overly paranoid and still scared of her shadow. Hopefully one day she will be more brave, especially if I am ever able to initiate her as a friend. Dear Twilight, I would like to thank you for helping me finally fit in down there, especially after that acquaintance of yours tried to drag my name through the mud. I am going to admit, I was most upset with her and had it not been for you, I would have left and not came back. Regarding next year, I will gladly come to the festival and regarding my favorite food, it is apple fritters so I do hope that Applejack will make some for me. Maybe by next year Pinkie Pie will have it through her thick skull that I am not evil anymore. Could you please see to that so my visit will be more enjoyable? I would really appreciate it. What makes me the most happy though is that you and Ponyville like me more than my sister. I know my sister can be a troll and a bitch sometimes but I applaud you on not trying to kill her yet. Just don't try to because you know what happened when I did. Sincerely, Princess Luna P.S. Regarding Fluttershy, my sister had brought up how you have been trying to initiate her as a friend and I feel really bad for you. I have visited your dreams and good grief, you can't even initiate her there so face it, the only ponies who will likely ever want you are the spa twins! Just be glad you have them since nopony else wants to be initiated!