Sunset Simmer sat at her desk in her sparely furnished loft that she had managed to obtain from when her ethics were more loose shall we say..and pondered on her day , one of her worst since the Fall Formal .
It had all started when she arrived at school and noticed the glares and the nervous looks were back , she was so sure she had finally managed to convice her fellow students that she had truly changed but now it seemed something had tarnished that work
“ Have I have really been good enough…” she wondered to herself as she made her way don the mural covered hallway to her homeroom class, hoping that seeing the girls would help her mood . As she arrived she noticed that some of her friends were not waiting for her and the ones that WERE there turned away from her .
Soon enough she learned of Anon –a-Miss and the rumors being spread around about everyone , and it was set up to make her look like the one doing it . Everyone was so quick to assume that Sunset had went back to her old ways of manipulation and control.
As she sat at her desk at home she hugged her elbows close to herself as she did when she was in thought or feeling conflicted about things .
All the times she helped her friends and asked nothing in return …she felt taken advantage of , she wondered if the nice things her friends said were just that…nice things with no meaning behind them, maybe they only gave her a chance to please Twilight. Everypony back home when she was a filly assumed she was too busy or too stuck up to make friends but this was far from the truth .The trust of the matter was that Sunset was afraid to open herself up to strangers , growing up around Cantorlot she had seen just how insincere ponies could be and how they would lie and promise things that would never be.
This time she had hoped that the others were honest ,loyal, and generous , but that didn’t seem to be case at all . “I know they have all been talking about me …” she thought “ Then her thoughts turned to her time with Princess Celestia and how the Princess had seemed to go cold the longer she was around Sunset and these thoughts made her wonder “ Have I ever truly been loved by a hand that touched me ? “
She wondered if she should even bother standing up for herself , she knew she had a lot of past sins to atone for “is this what I am owed for what I did back then…” her thoughts trailed off as she leaned forward and held her head in her hands The old chair she had managed to find creaked as she moved but it held. “How long can I keep trying ….how much more do I have to endure “ She had heard the human saying of “ What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger “ Sniffling as her blue eyes grow moist she whispered to herself “ How strong do I have to be then?” Getting up off of the chair she started pacing the small area of her room and looked out of the small window that over looked the city of Canterlot below her , her pacing felt too confined and her nerves were more on edge because of this so she turned to the door and left her apartment .
Sunset decided to walk towards the nature park that was not too far from her loft , none of her friends knew about her secret place there , while she did enjoy the times they had had in the past she still fel the need to have a place to go and be alone . Walking down the tree lined path she started to think again and her thoughts this time turned to what she would do next “ Should I stay or should I go…” She knew that Princess Twilight had cleared her name back in Equastria and that Celestia had even pardoned her for her crimes before she left and the theft of the Element of Magic . Then again Sunset was never a quitter , sure she would withdraw or wait till a new tactic opened but she never just …Quit . Could she tough this out as well, on top of everything else she had endured
Coming to a fork in her path Sunset laughed to herself ..somewhat bitterly but the path before her quite accurately matched with her inner conflict . One fork led to to Canterlot High and the portal back to her birthplace. The other path looped back around the park and would take her back to her apartment .
She stopped in her walking and looked at both paths ..taking her time to ponder what she would do in Equestia if she went back, on the other hand her life here on Earth was looking like a uphill battle at the very least …
“Too many decisions ….too much responsibility. And no one one is here to catch me if I fail…” Her nerve wavered and she took a step toward Equestria “Was I stronger when I didn’t care what happened here? What would I even DO after high school ends ? “ Sunset looked back at the path that lead back to her human dwelling and considered “Maybe they do care and are just being led astray ..but if their belief in me is that weak ..Should I bother trying to convince them otherwise …everyone goes away in the end after all “
Biting her lip she turned around and went back to where the path forked , she stood there full of broken thoughts, she had been offered a second chance to make things right by Twilight when she was at her lowest and what kind of friend would she be if she didn’t try and help the girls when they failed
It seemed once again her life was in ashes …she looked down at her skirt which bore her cutie mark, when she received it she had been unsure of it’s meaning and Celestia had been less then forthcoming about it just saying
“Are you able to remain humble and kind when things do not go the way you want or expect? Be kind when you are in pain; be kind even when your life seems to be falling apart around you. Be humble not only when you succeed but also when you fail. Kindness in word and action, and humble in thought and belief. It is important to not only say and do the ‘right’ thing, it is important to also think and believe it - which is being genuine in nature of peace embodiment.”
She then thought of the story of the Phoenix and how they were reborn from their tears of fire and incense Cracking her knuckles Sunset headed towards her apartment ,maybe her cutie mark represented her ability to overcome adversity and come back stronger for it , She resolved to overcome this Anon –A –Miss business and use what she knew about her friends to get them to understand that this rumor monger was not her , after all when had the old Sunset been so careless with her attacks .
And after all …her past might be clouding people’s judgement but she would not let her past win, her past was not today.