Feather duster clamped firmly in her mouth, Marigold cleaned the trophy-case in Prince Solaris’ study. The sweeping motion raised a small cloud of dust particles around her head, and for the upteenth time she held a pale yellow hoof up to her nose and turned her head to sneeze.
“Solaris bless ya,” snickered Violet from across the room, “again!” The senior maid’s horn glowed brightly as she levitated her own duster high to brush cobwebs from a chandelier.
“Ish it alwaysh sho dushty in jeesh ‘ooms?” asked Marigold. The earth pony had streaks of grey on her black uniform from where she’d inadvertently brushed against furniture yet to be dusted. Wisps of bright orange mane stuck out from under her maid’s cap.
Without breaking her rhythm with the duster, Violet used her aura to tuck in her fellow maid’s erant locks. “These are the princes’ personal spaces, for which they insist on privacy. They only allow housekeeping in to tidy up once a week, if we’re lucky. Harmony only knows what these two stallions get up to in here.” She raised a single eyebrow. “Or with whom!”
Violet smiled when she saw Marigold freeze, her eyes momentarily wide.
Visibly collecting herself, the younger mare immediately moved on to dust one of the two huge reclining chairs near the center of the room. She had to stand on her hind legs just to reach the plush armrests. Violet’s duster floated over to do the chairs’ upper reaches.
Moments later they were done with the chair. Marigold tucked her duster into her apron and took a long look at all the unusually large furniture in the room. “It must be special working up close with such big stallions every day!” she remarked breathlessly.
Violet’s teeth flashed in a wide grin. With an effort, she held her tongue. She knew the young mare needed this job, and had come highly recommended to the royal household staff. But she was also quite aware of her own reputation amongst the staff for salacious gossip, which she had to admit probably led to her previous partner’s request for reassignment. She didn’t want a repeat of that embarrassment on her otherwise exemplary record.
With a purple hoof she brushed the crisp folds of her uniform into place. “Uh, it certainly is,” allowing herself a wink that the innocent mare could interpret in whichever way she wanted.
“Ahem!” said a deep male voice.
Violet turned to face the entrance to Prince Solaris’ bed chamber, which connected to the workroom from the side opposite the room’s main entrance.
“Your majesty!” she bowed low, as did Marigold a fraction of a second later.
The prince approached, his rainbow mane flowing in a breeze it alone could feel. He towered over the two mares and gestured regally for them to rise. Stretching his long neck downwards, he tilted his head forward and peered at Marigold through huge magenta eyes.
“Say! You’re new, aren’t you?” His head rose back to its usual altitude as his rear descended to squat on the floor next to his easy chair.
Violet curtsied. “Her name’s Marigold, majesty. She’ll be assisting me in the royal quarters.”
“That’s cool. Welcome to the house staff, Marigold.”
The yellow mare curtsied wordlessly.
He nodded, lifting a huge white hoof sporting an elaborate gold hoofguard which he pointed at Violet. “And don’t let her intimidate you,” he said raising an eyebrow.
Eyes wide, Marigold shook her head.
The prince lowered his hoof and locked gazes with Violet. “By the way, I’ll be doing a thaumic experiment of a particularly sensitive nature today, so as of right now, no more magic in my quarters, okay?”
Violet’s jaw dropped. “But, your Majesty, we’re not even close to done in here!”
He gestured towards Marigold. “She’s doing a great job cleaning without a horn. I’m sure you’ll manage doing it earth-pony style for a day, right?” He smiled his signature infuriatingly-innocent-mega-candle-power smile at her.
“Yes, Majesty,” she managed through clenched teeth. She could already feel the aches and pains of having to work all day with mouth and hoof instead of using her magic.
She was already thinking of a pretext to leave the royal quarters when the prince’s own jaw dropped and he rose suddenly to all fours. He swallowed and said hastily. “Er, something’s come up! See you latter, ladies, gotta run!” He disappeared in a magenta flash.
Marigold turned to Violet, confusion on her face. “Is it me or did the prince looked kinda scared before he left?”
The unicorn’s ears dropped and her expression turned to a full-on scowl. “Brace yourself, girl. The guards must have passed the word that she’s –”
“Have any of you maids seen Prince Solaris?” A feminine voice called imperiously from the entrance. She pointed a white hoof at Violet. “You. Maid. Tell me where he is!”
Violet bowed low, with Marigold managing to keep in sync this time.
“He was briefly here earlier, but we haven’t seen him since, Princess Blueblood,” replied Violet.
The unicorn mare’s eyes narrowed. “Was that upstart new princess with him? Did she return for more of her studies?” she asked with venom in her tone.
“No, Ma’am. He was alone.”
Princess Blueblood’s expression relaxed to a light expression of distaste. “Good. Carry on, then!” She spun on her heels and left.
Violet turned back to Marigold, who sported a highly confused expression.
“Princess Blueblood sure doesn’t seem to like Princess Twilight!” exclaimed Marigold with a shudder. “Why would that be?”
The senior maid shrugged. “She’s been trying to get one of the princes to marry her since forever. I guess she doesn’t like the competition.”
Marigold’s head reared back. “But there are two of them, and isn’t she their niece or cousin?”
Violet smiled craftily. “That’s what they say whenever she pushes the idea on them. I honestly think it like ten generations back or something, but still, it’s the excuse that keeps them out of that harpy’s claws.” She snorted. “Besides, I’m sure there’s no shortage of beautiful mares vying to get a piece of either one of those gorgeous flanks, no?”
She had a hard time holding her feather duster in her mouth when she saw deep crimson spread over Marigold’s face. Then she glanced around the room noting all the cleaning still to be done. Her chuckle died in her throat. No magic. This was going to be one of those days.
Twilight Sparkle raised a hoof to knock on Prince Artemis’ door, but before her cuticle would have struck its ornate brass strike plate in the shape of a full moon (Obviously! she thought) the door pulled open. Her hoof tocked instead against the moon sigil on the plastron of Prince Artemis’ regalia, currently located just below his smiling face.
“Why, Princess Twilight! This is such a pleasant surprise!” He stood aside and gestured invitingly. “Please do come in!”
Twilight smiled brightly, and entered. “Please, call me Twilight, just like you did before my ascension, Your Majesty. I’m not very comfortable with all this princess business yet.”
He nodded obligingly. “Granted! But we’ll have none of this Your Majesty talk when we’re in private, Twilight! And you must call me Artemis, as you are both my savior from the NightMare and now my peer in rank and privilege! I do hope this is a social call.” He gulped. “Do tell me it’s a... social call,” he repeated perhaps more fervently than he had intended.
Twilight’s smile grew sheepish. “Er, if you don’t mind my getting so quickly to the point, yourrr–temis, this rank and privilege stuff I exactly why came here to speak with you... kinda.” Striding quickly past him into the parlour, she didn’t see behind the prince’s withers suddenly droop.
With a shake, Artemis gathered himself and trotted in her wake. “How can I be of assistance, my dearest, dearest Twilight?”
She turned towards him, but kept her gaze firmly on her front hooves. “Well, it’s just that I’ve been wondering about,” – she blushed deeply –”Alicorn relationships.”
“Relationships?”
“Yes, exactly.” She nodded emphatically, and looked up, wide eyes gazing into his. Her wonderful, magenta pools of a soulful shade that so reminded him of the crepuscular glory in that very moment when his blessed night fell like purple curtains over the world and...
“Uh, Artemis?” Twilight wave a dainty purple hoof before his muzzle, looking concerned. “You went away there for a sec. Were you dream walking, or something?”
He shook his head. “No! No, not at all!” His quick grin almost matched the expanse of his eyes. “You were saying something about” – he brought up a dark-blue hoof and coughed – “Alicorn relationships?”
Twilight’s eyes shifted to studying paintings on the parlour walls depicting Artemis and Solaris in multiple heroic poses, masterpieces of ages gone by. She pointed to one such showing Artemis holding aloft a gorgon’s head as Solaris stood over its decapitated body. “You know I’ve never seen any paintings of you or your brother with other ponies in the picture. Why is that?”
Artemis pulled the collar of his plastron. “Well, in those days it cost a literal fortune to have a painting done by whichever pony was the master of the age, and they generally charged by the number of ponies in the painting...”
His ears drooped, just as Twilight’s smile returned.
“...and you didn’t want to burden your subjects by spending any more of the royal treasure than absolutely necessary!” finished Twilight. She beamed up at him. “I, like, totally understand!”
She examined more paintings, stopping to peer closely at one that showed the Alicorn brothers bumping hooves over a veritable mountain of slaughtered minotaurs. “I guess you gave the artists a great deal of license in those days.”
He hoped his emphatic nod hid the involuntary swallowing motion of his throat.
Twilight ran a hoof lightly over the canvas. “And I didn’t know they painted on velvet in those days.”
Artemis hastily took Twilight’s hoof in one of his and with the other pointed towards a door leading from the parlour. “When I sensed your imminent arrival I ordered tea and cucumber sandwiches brought to the balcony. I would so enjoy it if you would join me there!”
The princess obligingly let herself be pulled along, although she look back longingly on the paintings they left behind.
On the balcony, two small wrought iron chairs awaited them, along with a matching table graced with a deep blue tablecloth, a silver tea service and two plates of tiny, perfectly rectangular sandwiches.
“This is lovely!” gushed Twilight as Prince Artemis helped her take her seat. He dove for the other and crossed both sets of fore and hind legs. “Surely the depiction of my brother and myself in those dusty old paintings was not the main motivation for your question. What brings about this particular line of enquiry in your very fertile imagination?”
Twilight floated a sandwich in her magical field and delicately took a nibble. “Mmm! That’s good!”
He watched as she methodically chewed in silence. 1, 2, 3, 4... He counted at least twenty chews before she swallowed her mouthful.
“Well,” she resumed, “I must admit, this came up as a result of my studies. None of the histories and accounts I’ve read have ever mentioned you or your brother ever having” – her blush returned and her voice dropped to whisper – “a special somepony.”
Artemis feel his own face grow hot. “Er. Well,” – he took a quick sip of tea –”it’s like this. My brother and I are, as far as public figures go, somewhat jealous of our privacy.”
Twilight chuckled. “So I’ve read. Starswirl even made a rare joke about you two! He wrote that in the second year of the war with Discord you burnt down the Royal Gossips Guild with all its members locked inside. Isn’t that ridiculous!?”
“Ha, ha! Yes. Simply unbelievable! ” Artemis’ eyes focused on a spot on the tablecloth. “Solly and I do love a good prank!”
Her expression serious, Twilight’s eyes found the same spot on the cloth. “Having been the butt of your brother’s famous practical jokes in the past, I can attest to that personally.” Her innocent smile resumed its place on her muzzle. “But as we all know, you only tease those you love.”
“Oh, yes indeed, Twilight. Ha ha!” He wiped his brow.
“Yes.” The mare levitated up her second cucumber sandwich. “So, as I said earlier, I was wondering if Prince Solaris and you... have ever had a special somepony?”
Artemis felt time stop. A cold wave of dread rose from his stomach, the cucumber and bread in his mouth suddenly tasting of sand and ash. Nevertheless he forced himself to swallow it down, where it promptly became stuck in his throat, inducing a coughing fit. Luckily he had turned his muzzle away from his guest at the last moment, the green and white chunks harmlessly tracing a trajectory into the depths of the castle below.
Twilight watched them fall out of sight before turning her gaze back to the prince. Her eyebrows rose. “Artemis, are you okay?”
His face burned in embarrassment. It took him a moment to regain his composure.
“Oh, yes indeed! Forgive me! I must have swallowed a cucumber seed. A big one!” He grinned sheepishly. “So, where were we?”
Twilight looked at him solemnly.
“I had just asked about you and your brother’s romantic lives.”
“Of course! Yes.” Artemis took a hasty sip of tea. “Now, I can only answer for the first few hundred years of our reign, before my banishment to the moon. We were so busy with world building, dragon chasing, defeating chaos, and generally erecting Equestria brick-by-brick that we simply had no time for more... selfish pursuits.”
Twilight took a deep breath and nodded once. “I thought so! Ever since I’ve become a princess I’ve hardly had a minute to myself.” Her brows rose as a thought struck her. “And you never asked Prince Solaris about his... relationships... while you were otherwise disposed?” She took a cautious bite of her sandwich and studiously began chewing.
1, 2, 3... he began counting her chews silently, then shook his head.
“It’s a bit awkward for us to discuss those years, as I’m sure you understand! Though I did ask him shortly after my return why he called Princess Blueblood ‘cousin’. The query seemed to distress him, and he responded by saying that the story was too long to relate in the time available. But no, otherwise, I’ve never asked him directly if he’d taken a mate.”
13, 14, 15... He leaned in towards Twilight. “How about you?”
“WHAT!?”
Fragments of cucumber sandwich splattered the castle wall next to Artemis’ head. He turned back to his guest to see Twilights fetlocks crossed in front of her muzzle, her napkin furiously dabbing the fur around her lips. A moment later both fetlocks and napkin lowered back to her lap.
“Uh, me?”
Artemis nodded. “Well, you are his special student! You have certainly had the opportunity to ask Solly about his having a family at some time in the past. What did you think I meant?”
Twilight barked a laugh. “Ha! Yes, of course! That’s exactly what I thought you meant!” She wiped a fetlock over her brow. “Unfortunately, despite all the time we’ve spent together talking about practically everything else under the sun and moon, that specific topic has never come up.”
His ears dropped a bit. “So. And... he’s never asked you about your preferences in a stallion?”
Twilight shook her head and seemed to shrink in on herself. “Why would he? I mean, I was his student! He was my teacher! It would have been... improper, right?” She bit her lip and her ears fell to either side of her face. “It’s not like there’s something wrong with me, is there?”
He shook his head emphatically and reached across the table to place his hoof on hers. “Of course not! I for one think you’re a perfectly lovely mare, one that any stallion would be honored to be mated with!”
Twilight smiled and her ears rose back up. Then she saw Artemis’ limb on hers and she blushed a very, very deep purple. She stood suddenly and sketched a quick bow. “The sandwiches and tea were lovely, Prince Artemis. Gotta run! Kay–thanks–bye!” She teleported away with a flash of magenta.
Artemis scanned the scene around him, his gaze coming to rest on the bits of highly-masticated sandwich and cucumber mush that were slowly sliding down the wall of his balcony. Now whatever did I do to scare her away?
Violet took a seat at the picnic table and tapped the bench next to her, indicating where Marigold should sit.
“Are you sure we’re allowed to have lunch here?” Marigold scanned the area and saw nopony else about, staff or otherwise.
“Yeah, sure! These tables were put here specifically for off-duty staff.” Violet indicated a low hedge that hid the tables from the more public parts of the palace courtyard. “And there’s a staff-only sign on the other side of those bushes to keep the tourists out, so take a load off your hooves and relax!”
While Marigold sat, Violet opened her lunch bag and pulled out a daisy sandwich, from which she promptly took a huge bite. “Girl, I am famished!” she mumbled as crumbs fell from her mouth onto the table.
The younger mare extracted a cloth napkin which she spread on the table, followed by a small dish of sour cream and a plate on which she laid a zucchini and two eggs. She was reaching in to extract a bottle of milk when Violet burst out laughing.
“What it is?” she asked, and began inspecting the visible portions of her uniform to see if she had picked up more embarrassing stains during the morning’s labours.
Violet pointed at Marigold’s plate. “Did your thoughts wander a bit while you were cleaning a stallion’s den?”
Marigold looked down in confusion. Oh! Muffins! “You know, maybe you’re the single mare who’s spending too much time ogling those big, handsome princes with both wings and horns!” She placed a hoof on the zucchini, lowered her head into her plate and took a huge bite out of the vegetable.
Violet only laughed louder, until a sudden “Harumpfff!” and the clatter of a metal shod hoof clattered loudly in the courtyard. The maids turned their heads simultaneously towards its source, and then scrambled up and away from the table to bow low.
“Princess Blueblood,” they intoned together. Even though Marigold was beginning to doubt the sincerity of some of Violet’s advice, the stern admonition to instantly scrape a knee whenever the unicorn princess presented herself, or else, was one she had seen every staff-pony in the castle follow to the letter.
The princess observed them haughtighly. “Really now! You common mares had better learn not to disparage those who are above your station!” She stamped a hoof again for added emphasis as small green and white bits began falling around her, some of them logging in her otherwise impeccably coiffed mane. “Have I made myself clear?”
Marigold and and Violet bowed again. “Yes, your highness!” they chorused, at which point a large glob of green and white mush landed with a splot right on the princess’s nose.
Blueblood stared cross-eyed at the offending mush for a long moment as it slid down the side of her muzzle. Teeth bared and ears lowered, she raised her head to the castle above.
“Who dares dump food on a princess!” she growled through gritted teeth as her eyes climbed the walls to finally alight on the balconies to the ruling princes’ apartments. Her eyes widened. “The princes! They must have returned to their lair!”
The princess took a step towards the stairs leading up to the spires, but then halted suddenly. She shook the remaining food bits from her mane and coat.
“He can’t see me like this!” she wailed, and then galloped off in a blur of hooves towards the castle baths.
Marigold opened her mouth to speak, but words had somehow abandoned her. She turned to Violet, who had already resumed munching on her sandwich as if nothing particularly remarkable had happened. Seeing Marigold’s expression, she swallowed and shrugged.
“You get used to it.” She gestured at Marigold’s plate. “Better hurry. We still have to finish cleaning Prince Solaris’ playroom.” Her ears lowered and she sighed. “Without using any magic!”
Prince Artemis balanced on his hind legs on top of a stepladder made for ponies half his size, and likely half his weight. Wobbling precariously, he held aloft a large bowl at the end of each foreleg, while his brother grasped with his mouth a wooden implement as long as he was, and slowly stirred the huge cauldron situated between the legs of the stepladder.
Letting go of the huge spoon, Solaris looked up and smiled. “That’s perfect, Arty! Now just stand still and don’t use any magic while I add the rest of the base ingredients.”
Artemis felt sweat breaking out on his brow, but lacked an available limb to wipe it. “That’s easy for you to say! And speaking of full disclosure, what happens if somepony uses magic in here, anyway?”
Solaris grinned and brought his forehooves together and then spread them apart slowly while mouthing the word BOOM! He then turned to a low table on which an arcane looking book lay, and carefully turned the page.
“This had better be worth it, Solly!” Artemis grunted as his left lower leg began to tremble.
“Oh, it’ll be absolutely del –”
Solaris’s head twisted suddenly up from the book and around to the staff entrance as Violet and Marigold entered the room.
“– NO MAGIC!” he concluded with a shout.
The maids curtsied, and Violet nodded. “We remember, your majesty.” They then busied themselves cleaning the mantlepiece directly behind Artemis’ stepladder.
Solaris resumed stirring the cauldron. Each mare was to one side of the wobbling prince when a loud crack rent the room.
Artemis’s eyes bugged out. “Solly!” he called, as the sound of splintering wood rang out again. Then to all present, it seemed as if time crawled to a stop.
Violet and Marigold looked up at the distressed prince and back down at each other. Gazes locked, they simultaneously reached out and clasped in their respective forehooves the opposite risers of the stepladder.
Looking down, Artemis failed to notice that the the bowl he held in his left hoof slowly tilted to the side.
Looking up, Solaris saw the bowl tilt and its contents spill over its brim directly above the earth-pony maid – Marigold, the new mare, he thought – desperately holding one side of the splintering stepladder. Without thought, he lunged over the mare in order to protect her and barely had time to feel the warmth of her beneath him when a deep chill washed over his back and a cold gluey substance trickled down his barrel.
Violet hung on to the stepladder, but unlike Marigold she was a unicorn, and lacked the earth-pony maid’s awesome physical strength. She felt the risers splitting apart between her forehooves as the prince above her screamed. What a wuss! she thought. And then he screamed again.
Artemis knew he lad lost the contents of one of the bowls when its weight abruptly no longer counterbalanced that of the the bowl in his other hoof. Forbidden to use magic, he only had time to scream out a warning to the those below before he felt his whole body tilt to the side and his balance slip from the top of the stepladder. A quick glance downwards revealed the horrified face of the unicorn maid looking up at him, and her sharp, little horn pointed right at his belly. He screamed a second time.
Twilight Sparkle was intrigued. She wondered what Prince Solaris was up to that forbade magic in its proximity. It must be a really cool experiment! she thought with a grin. Being the prince’s personal student, the guards let her enter his apartments via the main entrance. She was all the way into his office when she heard the first scream. She rushed to the door that led to Prince Solaris’ workshop and threw it open, revealing... a bubbling cauldron surrounded by what looked like a splintered stepladder.
Then she noticed the other non-experimental items in the room.
On one side of the cauldron, Prince Artemis lay with his foreknees bent and hind legs up, as if bowing in her direction. Then she noticed the tail of a pony splayed on the floor below his muzzle, as if he’d grown a strange beard from his chin. His eyes were crossed and he was sporting the widest grin she’d ever seen on the shy younger prince’s face.
On the other side of the cauldron, Prince Solaris stood astride a chambermaid, his back and sides covered in a pale translucent substance, a look of shock on his face and the maid’s, as they saw her looking at them from the doorway.
Twilight felt the heat of a major blush rush to her face.
“Twilight!” called Prince Solaris. “This isn’t what it looks like!”
Twilight spun on her heels and bolted back through the office door from which she had emerged.
Quiet reigned for a moment in the workroom. Solaris carefully stepped away from the maid and sketched a quick bow. “Please do accept my apologies, Miss Marigold!”
The maid curtsied. “Thank you for saving me from whatever” – she pointed a hoof at Solaris’ back – “whatever that stuff is.”
Suddenly remembering her workmate, Marigold rushed around one side of the cauldron. Quick as lightning, Solaris circumnavigated the cauldron the other way around, and helped his brother get back on all fours, revealing the figure of Violet quaking on the floor, her forelegs propped on either side of her horn.
She chuckled as Prince Solaris helped her up, and opened her mouth only to have it plugged by a yellow colored hoof.
“Thank the princes, Violet,” said Marigold, “and lets go get a crew to clean up this mess.”
Violet nodded, and smiled warmly. “Looks like you’re getting the hang of this kid!” With a smirk, she bowed to both princes. “Your majesties,” she said, and followed Marigold out through the staff entrance.
Prince Artemis looked with Prince Solaris at the huge mess in his brother’s workroom. Now alone in the room, the elder prince let his withers and ears droop low.
Artemis put a hoof on his shoulder. “What a disaster!” He smiled sheepishly. “Could have been worse. You saved that earth-poney maid from the liquid I dropped.” He sniffed his brother’s now matted coat and drew back with gasp. “What is that stuff anyway?”
“A type of gum high in phosphoric acid. It’s okay - I’m immune to chemical burns as well as plain old heat burns.”
Artemis quickly drew his hoof back and stared at it closely. “Am I?”
“I don’t know,” said Solaris dejectedly. “You’re not smoking. You should be fine.” He looked at his brother from the corner of his eye. “What was the screaming about?”
Artemis blushed again. “When I fell I saw that I was going to fall belly first on top of that unicorn maid. I was afraid I might become... overly familiar... with her horn. Thankfully she raised her forelegs over her head and protected my legacy from damage.” He raised a hoof, lifting gooey strings from the tacky floor. “So. Can you re-start the process?”
“No.” Solaris pointed to pieces of step-ladder sticking out of the cauldron. “The least bit of contamination and the whole batch is ruined.”
“Batch of what?”
Solaris sighed. “It was a supposed to become a cake.”
Artemis’ head snapped back and his eyes narrowed. “A cake? So what was all the fuss about no magic?”
“That’s because it wasn’t just any cake.”
“Really? How so?”
“It was a fizz-pop cake. Each bite fizzes in your mouth.” He plucked a piece of broken stepladder from the cauldron. “I’ve been working on it for three years, all for nothing. Now it’s nothing more than a dangerous mess.”
Artemis took a step back. “Dangerous?”
“Yes. It’s still sensitive to magic. Better go tell the cleaning crew –”
There was a crack at the door, and Princess Blueblood entered. “Solaris and Artemis, dears!”
The brothers looked at each other in horror. Solaris spoke first. “Cousin Blueblood! My brother and I were just about to leave on an urgent matter.”
The princess stepped forward. “Indeed? I was just down the hall when I heard all the commotion. The maids ran out, and then even the guards took off on some pretext, leaving you two all alone. So little moi thought I would take advantage of the opportunity to come to cheer you up. Surely you have time for a slice of cake?”
Her horn lit and a tray rose to float next to her side. With a sly smile, she took a step towards the bug-eyed stallions.
“No, don’t!” they chorused.
Over in the staff room, Violet and Marigold, along with the rest of the day staff, turned their ears towards Prince Solaris’ workshop as they heard a big kaboom. The assembled ponies groaned and hurredly began to gather mops, brooms and cleaning supplies.
Violet patted Marigold on the back. “Well kid, looks like we’re in for a double shift tonight!” She smiled broadly.
Marigold raised an eyebrow at the senior maid. “Why does that make you happy?”
Violet smirked. “Guess who’s on emergency prince bathing duty?!”