//------------------------------// // Charming to the Last // Story: Ofolrodi // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// An imp in armor squinted through his helmet. "Who sent youse?" "Campo!" Ariel frowned at the head of the Herald. They stood outside the Foundry, their bodies exposed to occasional bursts of steam that flounced in the beat of the ocean. "Y'know... of the Fur-Blooders? They sent us here." "To do what, as?" Another imp's teeth glimmered in the soot-stained twilight. "Inspect your plot? Buggah off, sheila. We've got busy work to do!" Logan looked around at the vacant side-alleys flanking the enormous metal-works building. He turned and squinted back at the guards. "Busy doing what? Fighting off Dihmers?" "They don't exactly seem like the kind of ponies to invade a factory at random," Flynn said. "Especially when you've got this symbiotic relationship going." "You think us daft, yobbo?" One goblin frowned, clutching his polearm tighter. "They're always change-o's and bats-o's about! One single blink of the eye and we'll be up to our eartips in our own blood, aye?" "If you ask me, you wouldn't stand a chance," Ariel droned. "You've got nice armor there—but you're not exactly a match for winged raiders." "Hah!" One goblin pointed with his spear. "Check out the muzzle on thees bird!" "Hahahah!" The other laughed heartily. "You're a talkative bunch, but thees is goblin territory, love! Reckon we can defend it however we like—" SCHIIIIING! With one flick of the talon, Wildcard simultaneously disarmed both goblins with a single extension of Bard's bo-staff. Cl-Clankkk! The goblins gasped and scrambled to pick their weapons back up. "Oi!" "Bloody 'ell!" "Ya try that again ya mangy bo'tle of feathahs!" SCHIIIIIING! Both sets of weapons fell out of their arms again. "Augh! Metal Mum's Minceahs!" "Dip me in bronze! Ya right stoked to start a war, drongo?!" Wildcard made to swing the staff again—Thap! Rainbow blocked it with her fetlock. Sighing, she smiled tiredly at the group. "Okay... the bit's over. Let us through already." "Oh, we're way past that, love!" One goblin pointed his polearm. "Too righ!" The other stepped back with his spear, eyeing the Herald angrily. "Youse blokes can take your fancy colahs and cesspool yawn attitudes and crawl back to wheah ya Mum squirted ya!" "We just wanna see the Smelt-Blooders," Rainbow insisted. "And then we'll be out of your hair... er..." She glanced down at the two imps. "...ear hairs." "Pffft! You said the Fur-Bloodahs sent ya, righ?" "Uh huh..." "Them yacko's been inchin' to claw their way into the Smelt Brothahs favah for yeahs now! Don't see how a motley crew of ass-backwards freaks is gonna put them ovah!" "I could care less about that," Rainbow droned. "Don't ya mean ya 'couldn't care less,' love?" "... ... ..." Rainbow blinked through bored eyes, her muzzle hanging open. "...excuse me?" "It's only natural that you would care less, sheila, but I don't think that's the conotation you were lookin' for when you used that abused turn of phrase—" "Luna on a bike..." Rainbow Dash growled, the hairs on her back rising up. "I am not about to get lectured by a bunch of skin puppets who slur like minotaurs with marbles in their razor-toothed mouths!" "Rrainbow! Good frriend! Please..." Kepler raised both claws. "This is ourr firrst contact with a sane civlization. The least we can do is act civilized as well!" "What about the Spindlers?" Ariel suggested. Flynn leaned into her. "Too icky to be 'sane.'" "Says you." "AHEM..." Kepler shuffled blindly towards the sound of the imps' breathing. "Kindly good sirrs... the Dihmerrs—let it be known—arre harrdly an entrreprreneurrial sorrt." "Hrmmmf! You've got that right, ya winged dingo." "Verrily..." Kepler gestured, smiling between the two figures. "...would it not be absolutely wasteful to give up an opporrtunity to talk and barrgain with the firrst like-minded crreaturres to happen upon yourr company in an eon?" One imp squinted. "Just how like-minded are we talkin'?" "You've got yourself some shinies, cobbah?" Logan arched an eyebrow. "Shinies?" "Y'know... strips! Silvah! Metals! The whole works!" One goblin smirked. "Somethin' to make the Metal Mum back in Petra drool!" "We... errm..." Kepler smiled hopefully. "...have manacrrystals! Salvaged frrom an ancient grroup of most esteemed trravelerrs!" "The Bloody 'ell are manacrystals?" "Oh..." Kepler fidgeted. "...now that's distressing." "Okay..." Rainbow Dash was fishing around in her saddlebag. "...you want something shiny?" She raised the dragonstone up high and pivoted it so that the polished surface glistened from within with fiery light. "Feast your eyes, nincompellets." Both goblins gasped so hard that they nearly dropped their weapons. "By Petra's flame...!" "Starbeams! What on earth is that?" A clawed hand reached out for it— "Tut tut!" Rainbow shirked away from him with a playful smile. She batted her eyelashes. "That's for the Smelt-Blooder's eyes and ears only! We've got even shinier stuff where that came from. Now... who's gonna explain to your bosses precisely why you turned away a fantastic opportunity at the door?" Wildcard looked at Rainbow, then at the guards. The two goblins leaned in to whisper among each other. Their greedy eyes remained locked on the dragon stone. "Heh..." Ariel leaned in to Flynn. "...she has dealt with imps before." "Lucky us," Flynn droned. "Righ..." One goblin slapped the end of his polearm against the floor. Cl-Clank! A massive metal door was opened from the inside of the foundry, exposing an entrance. "You make a good point, love. In ya go..." He motioned with his head, ears curling. "But don't be ass! Make straight for the Smelt-Bloodahs' office! I'd better not be ketchin' you sniffin' any of the strips!" "Believe me..." Rainbow pocketed Axan's stone away and began trotting forward. "I wouldn't dream of it." Wildcard flew alongside her, gesturing dramatically. She reacted with a sharp smirk. "Heck, no! I'm not about to sell our only guide to the shards of Endrax!" She reached out to pat the Desperado's shoulder in mid-trot. "Wow them at the gate... then illuminate them from the inside." Wildcard stroked his beak. He gestured again. "I dunno." Rainbow stifled a belch. "Probably came up with that one the last time I used a toilet." Her muzzle scrunched. "When was the last time I used an actual toilet? Val Roa...?" After a brief moment of silence, she rolled her eyes to the side. "Oh hush, Rarity." As the group marched into the Foundry, Seraphimus came up to join them at the last second. "Hey, toots." Logan glanced over his shoulder. "Where were you?" Seraphimus exhaled. "Had some business to take care of." "No kidding?" Logan smirked, moving along. "I didn't know they shredded newspapers here on the Dark Side." "I see this group hasn't lost its charm," Seraphimus droned as the doors thundered shut behind them.