//------------------------------// // A Jump to the Left // Story: The Rock in the Gulch // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Tucker groaned as he slowly sat up. "What...happened...?" he managed to stammer out as he shaded his eyes against the bright sun reflecting off the ocean. "...where are we?" He managed to recall what Omega had been babbling about, somewhat. "Or...should I be saying when?" "No, Church absorbed all the temporal energy when he leapt to shield Maud from the bomb," Simmons explained, his voice...somehow feminine. "The rest of us just got blasted through space, and the mixture of magics in Church's pony-bot body resulted in us all being hit by the effects of quantum warp, which is why we all look different and have different equipment...except for Maud. She just absorbed the warping energy, but she's super pissed that both Church and Texas are somewhere else - well, pretty sure Church is somewhen else, actually - so we're all steering clear of her for a bit until Grif's managed to calm her down. He apparently has experience dealing with irrationally emotional younger sisters." Tucker stared at Simmons for a time. "You sound...different." "Oh, that's because I'm completely sloshed and my inner mad scientist is in charge!" Simmons answered excitedly. "Side effect of being quantum warped. It should wear off in an hour or so, and in the meantime I've been upgrading everyone's armor and weapons, which is why that looks different too." "I still don't get why I don't get a laser gun," Grif pouted off to the side. "For the last time, Grif, the handheld hyper-rail cannon is 50 times more destructive, 30 times more energy efficient, and you can load it with any pebble you find on the beach!" Simmons snapped back. "...it's still just a glorified slingshot," Grif countered irritably. "Nowhere near as cool." "If you want cool, use the lightning flail with cryogenic modifications!" Simmons countered. "It only has a 30% chance of electrocuting you on use, and only a 15% chance of freezing you solid to the point you shatter explosively...and I could put you back together!" "...I'll stick with my slingshot, thanks all the same." "Weren't you supposed to be keeping Maud calm?" Tucker demanded irritably of Grif as he stood up. "Donut, Sarge, and Caboose are taking care of that," Grif explained ruefully. In the distance, Sarge could be heard shouting, "ONE MORE TIME NOW!" We're Men...in powered mail! "That's the seventh time the three of them have performed that musical," Grif continued. "I got sick of being the punching bag for it after the fifth...even if I did stop feeling the impacts to face, shins, and crotch by the third." "So once they stop performing, we explore and try and find evidence of Church and Texas, right?" Tucker asked carefully as he stood up. "Don't suppose we have any idea where to look? Or where we are?" "Oh, I know where we are," Grif explained readily. "This is where Maud hit me to when she used our base as a bludgeon." He pointed to a nearby ditch in the sand. "That's where Caboose caught me, causing the sand to sink under his feet as he scooted back to absorb the impact. That's how we know we weren't actually thrown through time, because if we were in the past then it wouldn't have appeared there yet, and if we were any appreciable distance into the future, it would have filled in by now." "...since when are you so intelligent?" Tucker demanded irritably. "Oh, that's a side effect of starvation," Grif explained readily. "My brain works a lot faster when I'm not eagerly eating anything I can find, and I haven't had anything to eat for the past three hours. Speaking of which, did I ever mention how that particular shade of blue armor makes you look like a giant ice cream cone?" "Let's find some food quick," Tucker told Simmons urgently. "The last thing I want to see is Grif turning cannibal." Church stared around in confusion as he found himself in a strange area. Everything seemed fuzzy as though it didn't entirely exist, or was being rendered through outdated hardware. A pool of lava - or possible strawberry jello, it was hard to tell the difference visually - sat behind him, and distant stone walls could barely be made out. An alert message appeared on his helmet's HUD. Alert: Quantum instability detected. Nearby computer system has access to quantum manipulation technology. Exercise extreme caution. Alternate pony forms unavailable. Enhanced sensors unavailable. Attempting to compensate...fail. Processing visual data of temporally flux station to the best of sensors capabilities. Details inaccurate. Reducing res to compensate... The area became a bit clearer...but it still looked like it was rendered on poor hardware. However, a text box now floated above the pool in his vision, telling him it was most definitely lava and thus a hazard he could not handle. "...this is just too weird," Church grumbled. "What the heck happened, anyway? Where am I?" Processing Inquiry. Calculating possible answers...75% certainty attained. Magical energy was discharged into an explosive device, charging it with a time-space warping spell. This unit absorbed most of that energy, resulting in allied units only being propelled by a shockwave. This unit's temporal signature became unstable, and thus was drawn to the nearest source of temporal instability that could stabilize unit's temporal coordinates. Recommended action: Seek out machine controlling quantum manipulations in this facility. "And just how am I supposed to do that?" Church demanded angrily. Scans indicate useful equipment in nearby storage containers. Turning, Church saw the containers in question and moved to open them...only to find nothing inside. "This is some very useful empty boxes..." he growled irritably. Error: Improperly classified items. Useful information in data storage containers downloaded. Map data for facility acquired. Significant Locale detection acquired. "...I found a map and compass?" Church asked in disbelief. Confirmed. Church groaned ruefully as he stood back up. "Yeesh, it's like I'm inside a video game or something." He then paused to think about the kind of world he lived in, and the sort of people he'd encountered before Maud. "You know, back in Blood Gulch that would have explained a lot."