“You know, I'm still not sure this is the right situation for a party…” Caldoric said, once again pinching the bridge of his nose as Nurse Redheart relaxed and walked away.
Pinkie just kind of looked at him like he was stupid for a second, then opened her mouth to speak. “♪Every party needs a pooper, that’s why they invited you,♪” she began, in a sort of sing-song voice, “♪party pooper--♪”
“Pinkie…”
“♪Party pooper…!--♪”
“Pinkie!” Caldoric snapped, glaring at her. “Sorry, but this isn't the time.”
“Aww, someone’s sensitive…!” Pinkie replied with a smile, then began inching her hoof forwards as if to boop his nose. Thus began a quick scuffle of poke-and-deflect tactics. Though Caldoric had had some decent practice before his arrival in Equestria, he was still not much of a match for the Grand Master of Cheer herself, and she finally managed to goose him under the ribs.
“Gotcha…!” She proclaimed, as he flinched from the contact.
“Jack, help me out here…” Caldoric begged, turning to the still-horizontal Kamen Rider.
“You forget young grasshopper,” Jack said sagely, “the party was my idea.”
“Young? I’m 25, how old are you?” Caldoric rebutted, fending off another tentative jab from Pinkie.
“26,” Jack smirked.
“...Damn you,” Caldoric muttered sullenly, then swatted away another poke from Pinkie, who was grinning like an idiot. “Will you stop that?”
“Nah, you’re amusingly good at this! Who taught you?” She replied, and made a feint.
Caldoric saw through it, however, and countered with a double-feint of his own before finding contact beneath Pinkie's ribs with his other hand, which had remained idle. “My sister and I sometimes do this from time to time; we’ve gotten pretty good at predicting…” he trailed off, and looked away. He didn’t even react when she poked his head a second later. “I kind of want to go home, you know?”
“Not 100% sure if that’s possible,” said Jack as he climbed out of bed, “we need to make the most of what we have here.”
“No, it’s possible all right.” Caldoric replied, as Pinkie cocked her head and listened. “I've heard tell of folks just appearing on Earth outta nowhere, looking like fictional characters while claiming to be missing folks. They either get locked up, or go into hiding. Or, so I hear. But with the war on… if I could get home, and figure out how to get my powers to actually work, I could put a stop to it.”
“If that’s the case, whether or not it’s my Earth, you can count on my backup,” said Jack, with a nod of his head. Caldoric nodded in reply, and put a grateful hand on his shoulder.
“Thanks man.” Caldoric said. “To be honest, I'm definitely feeling better, talking to another human, than I tend to be when I'm alone with these pon-- yah! Pinkie, stop it!” She had just jabbed him in the ribs again while he was distracted, and now bolted out of the room, cackling like a madmare as she escaped.
“Shhhh!” Nurse Redheart shushed them.
“So, now that the pink one’s gone…” Caldoric began, a little sour, “you feeling better? Like, back to normal?”
“Mostly,” said Jack, “Pinkie swiped a few of the cookies, so I’m still a little sore in places. When I get the Medical Switch, it won’t be soon enough.”
“Hah, if I knew how soreness like that worked, I'd just summon a Mask of Healing, and have you fixed in a jiffy. Unfortunately, it only works on stuff the wearer knows how to heal…” Caldoric trailed off, then held his hands out in front of him again, and closed his eyes. Above one of them appeared about two-thirds of another translucent-blue cookie, and a Windows 98 style error message popped into existence in front of him.
Error:
•Out of Summon Grist(x36): to summon anything more, please go out and kill some enemies. The bigger, the better!
•Out of <other> Grist(s), type(s) include: Build, Ectoplasm, Fluorite, Frosting, Rainbow, Rock Candy, Slime. Go collect some more!
“...The hell? Where’d this come from?” Caldoric said, swiping a hand through the message. “I don't remember there being 'Summon’ Grist…”
Jack rubbed his chin, “Didn’t you say your powers were half-Bionicle, half-RPG? Is there Grist in that?”
“Well, there was grist of various types in Homestuck, which is a webcomic by the way, but the characters never encountered Summon-type Grist…” Caldoric handed Jack the partial cookie and began pacing, a hand to his thinly-bearded chin, “grist is a game abstraction used to manufacture items through Alchemy in Sburb, a game the characters played, and-- Ah, shit, someone's been using my Alchemiter! I knew this was going to happen, but I got sidetracked by those Shardlings…”
Caldoric quickly dashed out of the room, heading who knew where as he called for Jack to follow.
Jack followed along, slightly slowly due to his not-quite-healed injuries, “So, this Alchemiter, I assume it’s what you use to access certain aspects of your abilities?”
“No, no…!” Caldoric replied in a panic, pausing briefly at an intersection before dashing ahead. “It’s an item crafting station with practically unlimited potential! If you put the wrong items together in the wrong way, you can end up making something completely random! You never know if it’ll be trash, or a doomsday device, or anything! Who knows what whoever’s been using it has made!” He then came to a stop, and looked desperately back at Jack.
“Third floor library, West-Southwest wing: know how to get there?” Caldoric asked. “I’m lost, again!”
“Luckily I happen to have insurance against that very thing,” said Jack as the burger-bot from before rolled up, “meet Shutter.”
“Hi.” Caldoric said tersely to the bot, waving as he caught his breath.
”Hi,” said a young, shy voice from it.
“Anyway, remember that Camera Switch from before? Yeah, Shutter is the spirit of that Switch,” said Jack. “She’s also kinda curious, so give her a description of it and we’ll see if she’s seen it.”
“I’ll do ya one better.” Caldoric then reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a smartphone and a card depicting a neon-green cube with a picture of an atom on it. The card, being similar to the one he’d picked up the Powerdizer before, turned into the item it had shown, which Caldoric then put under his arm and fiddled with his phone.
“It does wifi…” he muttered distractedly, then flipped the phone so Jack and Shutter could see the screen. On it was an image of a boy standing next to a large platform-y device with a multipart armature on one side, next to a small plinth. The flat, circular portion of the platform bore a series of triangles that looked vaguely arcane.
“You seen anything that looks like this?” Caldoric asked. “I may have modified it a bit, but this is the basic form.”
Shutter nodded, “Yep, but you won’t believe where though.” With that, Shutter rolled off, prompting Jack and Caldoric to follow.
And follow they did, up and down stairs, through rooms, across halls, and startling a few ambient ponies who'd begun to come out of their shells. Eventually, they came to their destination.
They opened the double doors before them (which Caldoric admitted were somewhat familiar,) they were greeted with a surprising sight: in amongst the shelves of Equestrian knowledge and fiction, there was now a massive pile of muffins. Blueberry muffins, to be exact. The pile nearly reached the ceiling, and the modified Alchemiter that rested beneath it was barely visible.
“I’m not sure whether to be concerned or relieved by this…!” Caldoric said, shaking a bit.
There was a faint cry of “Help…!” from somewhere before them.
“The Schop Switch would also be pretty useful right now,” said Jack before taking a bite of one, “not bad, but I prefer banana chocolate chip.”
“The what Switch? Oh, forget it, there’s someone in there…!” Caldoric took a running jump at the pile, and began furiously digging with his bare hands. Jack joined in from a different area, swiping his arms to scoop away large chunks at once.
Pretty soon, they found a pair of grey legs and a pale blonde tail, the former of which began kicking almost as soon as they were uncovered. A good look at the image of several bubbles on the attached hips cemented the pony’s identity.
“It’s Derpy.” Caldoric stated. “Shoulda figured from the muffins.”
“Um, hey, could you pull me out?” Derpy's muffled voice said from inside the muffin monolith. “I don't wanna die buried in muffins…”
“I suppose the irony would kinda suck huh?” Jack said as he grabbed one of the legs. Caldoric nodded, and grabbed the other.
“We’re gonna pull on three, alright?” He said, for both Jack and Derpy’s benefit. After acknowledgement from both, they counted down and gave a mighty heave, pulling the mare from the tomb of baked goods and causing them all to tumble down to the floor.
“Whoah…” Derpy said, head and eyes spinning momentarily, “thanks guys. Not sure I woulda made it if you hadn't shown up. How’d you find me, anyway?”
“We were looking for the Alchemiter I left in here earlier, because someone suddenly used all my Grist.” Caldoric explained, looking intently at Derpy as her eyes settled. One was looking straight up, while the other was looking down and a bit to the side.
“Alka-whatzit?” Derpy asked, looking confused. “Not sure what one of those is, but I did find this cool platformy thing a little bit ago, along with this weird camera…” She then pulled the camera from somewhere behind herself, and presented it proudly, like a child who found something “amazing”. Caldoric facepalmed immediately.
“Augh, the Captcharoid Camera…” he groaned, “I forgot I left it in here…”
“Capture-roid?” Derpy asked. “Wazzat?”
“Is it kinda like that thing from RWBY?” asked Jack, “you know, the camera that bunny girl uses that lets her create holo-weapons?” Caldoric just stared at him blankly.
“...no.” He said at last. “It… you use it to take a ghost image of something you can't ordinarily pick up, even with a sylladex set to 'large’ items, and it’ll spit out a card with that ghost image on it and a code that corresponds to it.”
“Oh, like this?” Derpy held up a now-familiar card, depicting a greyed-out blueberry muffin, then looked at it curiously. “Huh, this was grey a while back, now it looks like leather around the edges. Ew…”
“Exactly. Wait, you’re the one who made all these muffins?!” Caldoric demanded, concerned.
“Yup!”
Caldoric's head drooped as he sighed, before he turned to the pile of muffins and moved towards the buried alchemiter. “Of course… of course she’d be the one to figure out how to work a contraption this contrived in nature…” he muttered, starting to unbury a portion of it.
“I just… pushed the muffin button…” Derpy said, a little disappointed and embarrassed. Caldoric audibly facepalmed again.
Jack chuckled. “Well, at least it’s only muffins. If neither of you two mind, Pinkie and I will be commandeering this bounty for the party.” Derpy immediately brightened.
“Ooh, yeah! That sounds great!” Derpy exclaimed, clapping her hooves together. “I mean, I meant to make some food for the folks here in Canterlot anyways, which was why I was here in the first place, after getting lost on my way to the kitchens, and--”
The mountain of muffins suddenly glowed with an inner bright light, then condensed into a single ball of energy that was quickly absorbed by the Alchemiter, revealing it in all its glory. It definitely had some similarities to the image Caldoric had shown them earlier, but there were indeed several modifications that had been added. There were at least a dozen slots for more of those strange cards to be inserted, and what looked like the keyboard from a typewriter hooked to an open panel via wires. There was a large armature featuring some sort of downward-facing lens over the main platform, as well as a smaller pedestal bearing a holographic image of a muffin over it, and there was also most of an organic-looking desktop computer embedded in yet another panel with a holographic display of its own.
Caldoric was standing at the latter area, not even paying attention as Jack whistled and Derpy’s lip started to tremble. “You seriously shouldn't have set it to make the maximum possible amount of muffins, Derpy,” he said, moving a few operating windows around as he talked. “Three hundred million is way too many. Now, something like…”
There was another brief flash, and the Alchemiter's platform was covered in muffins once more, but it was a more reasonable amount this time: nothing more than a couple hundred of the small things, at best. “There, that should cover everyone for the time being.”
“I-I just wanted to h-help…!” Derpy said, looking despondent, and started tearing up.
Jack patted her on the shoulder, “I can understand that, but maybe a little bit of restraint and common sense next time, hmm?”
“I agree,” said Caldoric, walking over and kneeling so he was face-to-face with Derpy, before gently lifting her chin and smiling gently. “Please be careful with stuff like this. In fact, I admire what you tried to do, feeding everyone with muffins from a seemingly magical godsend like this, and figuring how it works in the first place. You’re a very kind per-- pony, Derpy, with a heart of gold big enough to hug just about everyp-pony you find. Just make sure you ask next time, alright?”
“A-alright…!” Derpy said, smiling at the two humans through the faint tears in her bi-directional eyes.
“There we go,” said Jack, ruffling her mane. “Now, what say we make like piñatas and party till we burst open?” Derpy positively perked up at that, with a mile-wide smile on her face as she gasped.
“A party? What for? Am I invited? When is it? What should I wear?” She asked, overwhelmed with glee.
“It’s a party Pinkie’s helping me throw to celebrate me saving about 2-3 dozen ponies, and one draconequus, from their Shardling fates,” said Jack, a bit of a smug look on his face.
“Don't talk about piñatas around me, man,” Caldoric interjected, “last time was at one of Pinkie's parties, she had me trussed up like a pig and hung from the ceiling for half of it…” Derpy giggled madly and covered her face with her hooves.
“Hehe, I remember that. You looked so funny up there in your armor, all tied up and wiggling like a caterpillar. Can we do that again?”
“No.” Caldoric said flatly. “It wasn't fun for me.”
“Yeah, we’ll contact Party Central if we need one,” said Jack, before he pulled out a list and began reading it off. “Let’s see, food: check. Venue: 90% sure the diarchs won’t mind us using the ballroom. Music: pretty sure I saw Vinyl around here somewhere. Games: pretty sure Discord owes me a favor. And Pinkie shouldn’t have much trouble with her half of the list. We should be good to go.”
“Good to go?” Asked Screwball, phasing in through a wall, and Derpy waved to her cheerfully. “What’re you talking about in here, all secret-like?”
“These guys wanna throw a party…” Caldoric said, dejectedly. “Me? Not so sure.”
“Stop being such a baby, this is partially for your benefit,” said Jack before turning to Screwball, “Pinkie’s handling the invitations, but you’re at the top of the guest list.” Her eyebrows shot up at that, and she had to scramble to catch them after they bounced off the ceiling. “Then again, the final draft might be in alphabetical order, so you’ll be closer to the bottom,” Jack said, tapping his chin, although his grin let Screwball know he was just teasing. The filly grinned back and nodded.
“At least I'm not this guy,” she added, jerking her head towards Caldoric, “his last name starts with a ‘W’, if you can believe that.”
“Hey!” Caldoric shouted.
“Ah, but everyone knows him as Caldoric, so he might be placed with the Cs, possibly at the top cause the second letter’s an A,” Jack retorted. Caldoric glared at him.
“While I somewhat relish the thought of being above Celestia about something…” he groaned, “I'm still not too sure about this party. Not only am I antisocial, but the Toa aren't like Ponies; they don't just get along after a musical meet-and-greet like Equestrians do. They always have trouble with the four stages of team development, usually getting stuck on the ‘storming’ stage more than anything.” Screwball nodded as if she understood what he was getting at, but the others looked confused.
“That’s what Anime Bonding Method #21 is for,” said Jack, “seriously I swallowed a bomb for you, you’d think that would entitle me to at least a little trust from you.”
There was a long silence as Caldoric and Jack looked at each other, before Caldoric sighed, finally giving in. “Fiiiiiiiiiine, I’ll do it.” He said at last. “But that doesn't mean I have to like it. Also, it was a bit hit-and-miss on the music selection last time. Vinyl was great, letting the other Displaced and I play some Earth music, but some of it wasn't exactly to the ponies’ liking.”
“Yeah, lots of screaming, and harsh sounds and talk of war…” Derpy said, looking a bit down.
“That’s called Metal, Derpy.” Caldoric explained. “Not my fault most of the playlist I have consists of that, though: the guy who I helped make it was rather into metal and war history… I hope you have something better, Jack. I’m practically tapped.”
“Let’s just say that I’m a Texan with a rather traditional taste in music,” said Jack, “would you prefer I open with Brody or Keith?”
“Uh… not familiar with either of those.” Caldoric replied. “I played a bit of Randy Travis, and they kinda liked that, but the religious nature kinda went over their heads… then again, most of our stuff does, since they’re so much shorter than we are.”
There was a pause, before Derpy and Screwball said “Heyyyy…!” in near unison.
Jack just chuckled. “How about I play a sample for you two? See if it’s something you can appreciate?” There were some murmured agreements from the two of them, before Pinkie and Lyra poked their heads around the doorway.
“I’m game for anything humans like!” Said Lyra. “Helps me understand you all better, to be honest. Music is the expression of one’s soul…!”
“I just wanna hear it!” Said Pinkie. Caldoric facepalmed, and went over to the nearest wall to begin banging his head against it.
“No problem,” said Jack as he pulled out the Beat Switch. Switching it on, he said to it: “Tone? Dean Brody, It’s Friday.”
”Excellent choice boss-man, don’t want to blow their minds too hard to start,” said a DJ-esque voice from the Switch, before the sound of guitars emanated from it.
Once the song had finished, the ponies had already given their stamp of approval through their bobbing heads and smiling faces. Heck, even Caldoric had stopped whacking his head against the wall and started tapping his foot to the beat instead.
“Yep, that’s country music,” said Caldoric at last, while the ponies tried to not-so-discreetly pester Jack for more. “Need something faster though, if you’re going for the type of lively party I think you are: that one there’s more for a casual, ‘walk-'round-talkin’-to-folks’ tempo, not ‘cutting-a-rug’ tempo.”
Jack tapped his chin before grinning. “Dierks Bently, What Was I Thinking?” Once again, familiar southern guitar music kicked in, this time with some kick to it.
When it finished, the ponies seemed rather ok with it, while Caldoric was grinning.
“That was rather good!” Derpy said, smiling. “But what’s a 12 gauge?” Caldoric cackled a bit in the background at her question.
“Best you not know,” said Jack, “not that you need to to enjoy the song though, am I right?”
“Ah dunno,” Said Applejack, entering the library as well, “that there sounded like a bit of a tryst goin’ on between two folk that shouldn'ta been together. Not sure that’s appropriate, really.”
“Geeze, if we keep this up, the party'll end up going down here in the library!” Caldoric exclaimed, throwing his hands up.
“And that’s definitely unacceptable,” said Twilight, joining the conversation as she came around a bookshelf, levitating a few dozen books in her thaumic grasp. “First there was that sudden mountain of muffins, now there’s music, and then you start talking about having a party here? Seriously, younger ponies these days…!”
“And now she’s here, too!” Caldoric complained. “Can we move this before anyone else shows up?”
“I’m good-fine right here,” said Lewa, looking over a bookshelf he was hovering next to. Caldoric facepalmed as Twilight chewed the Toa of Air out a little for his antics.
Jack started laughing, “Look’s like you might not need to pack up those muffins. Seriously, one last sample before we go.”
Everyone save for Caldoric and Twilight gave a cheer at that, which drowned out their protests.
“Well then, Tone; Eastbound and Down.”
As the music played, pretty much everyone was bobbing their heads with the beat, including Caldoric, who would occasionally sing along with a line or two of the chorus. When some of those present looked at him questioningly, he simply told them “he’d heard it a few times.”
“That said,” he continued, “let’s get going. If Jack wants to play anything more, we can probably do it on the way there. But first, there’s a song I'd like to play as we begin our little trek. Just lemme…”
He took a moment to store the Alchemiter and the Captcharoid Camera within his Sylladex, which amazed Lewa and the Ponies to no end, then turned and gestured for Jack and Pinkie to lead the way.
“Make sure to watch out for Imps and Ogres as we go, folks,” He warned as they passed, “they can be a mite nasty in tight spaces.”
And so, they began walking through the halls to their eventual destination, slowly picking up more procession members as Caldoric played his song. They were fortunate that Fluttershy wasn't among them, because she definitely wouldn't have found it as entertaining as everyone else there did.
“Who knew that squirrels could be such trouble?” Chuckled Jack. A few nearby ponies giggled along with him, evidently having had their own experiences with the fluffy rodents.
“All right, what’s your next song going to be?” Caldoric asked, his mood having improved somewhat since leaving the library behind. “It’s amazing how much of a crowd you can draw here with a good bit of music…”
“Hey, I need to save some for the party,” said Jack. Several ponies gave disappointed calls of “aaawwwwwww!” at this, while Caldoric just chuckled.
“Please?” Lyra begged, sidling up to Jack and butting her head under his arm as they continued through the halls. “Just, like, one or two more?”
Pinkie popped up next to her, and pulled her back a bit. “No, Jackie-boy has a point, we need to save some for the party.”
“Fine…” Lyra acquiesced. Soon, the party reached a large ballroom, and Jack looked in.
Jack took a look around the ballroom before grabbing a clipboard that Pinkie handed him. “Yes, this layout should do nicely, although you may want to increase the distance between the snack tables by 5%; the Toa are a mite larger than regular ponies after all.”
“Ooh, good point!” Pinkie exclaimed, already hopping with excitement. In a blur of sugar-fuelled pinkness, she had rearrange tables to make sure everyone could fit between them, be they pony or humanoid. Meanwhile, Vinyl showed up and began setting up her musical equipment. Soon, they had some low-key party music going, to keep the present folks occupied while the party itself got truly into full swing.
Pinkie was constantly zipping between Jack and whatever needed doing, while Caldoric mostly stayed off to one side and tried to avoid getting in the way. In fact, Jack and Pinkie had to head him off on at least three occasions as he tried to surreptitiously exit the party room before everything was ready.
“Come on, you know we’re doing this for your own good,” said Jack before turning to Pinkie, “adjust DJ table main speakers 3 degrees outward.”
“Ugh, do I have to?” Caldoric complained. “And which main speaker? There’s, like, seven!” He went off towards the DJ booth with Pinkie anyways, grumbling the whole way as she had to practically drag him along. A few minutes later, and he was back, this time with a valid question:
“How are we supposed to have a party with the Toa (and everyone else,) if they’re not all here?” He asked, and Pinkie immediately tensed up like a fainting goat that had just been startled.
“Ah, snap!” She exclaimed, glancing towards the door. “I forgot to give them their invitations!”
Jack shook his head, “I distinctly remember that being on your to-do list.”
“Not to worry-fret!” Said Lewa, swooping in with a smile on his Golden Mask. “I’ve got the power of the Kakama, Mask of Quick-Speed, already at hand! Together, friend-cousin Pinkie and I can let the other Toa-heroes know-learn that they’re needed here!”
“Yeah, let’s go!” Pinkie cried, perking up immediately, and they both disappeared out the door in blurs of green and pink. Soon, more ponies began filing into the room, quickly accompanied by the Toa Mata, the Elements of Harmony, and, eventually, the Princesses themselves.
“Alright, fillies and colts!” Pinkie exclaimed from the DJ booth once everybody had finally arrived. “Today we’re having a super-awesome-fun party because our friends here, Jack and Caldoric, were able to reclaim my hometown of Ponyville from Sombra's evil clutches!”
There was much cheering from the crowd, especially from those who had been recovered in the expedition.
“Also, for those of you who haven't noticed, we’ve got some more ponies here than we did before, because they got saved in Ponyville as well!” Pinkie continued. “So, let’s party!” And, that said, the party officially began, and music began to play.
Jack leaned in close to Pinkie. “I’ve got Gali, Tahu, and Pohatu, you got the other three?”
“Yep! The harder, the better!” She replied, giving him a knowing grin. “Dr. Mirror is a go!” With nods to each other, they split, still keeping an eye on Caldoric in case he tried to do the same with the party. Fortunately, he was engaged in a conversation with Screwball at the time, so it seemed less than likely.
Jack walked up towards Gali, and struck up a conversation with her. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, honorable Toa of water.”
Gali, who had been sitting to one side in the equine form Jack had first met her in, started slightly at his sudden attention, and turned to Jack. “Oh, greetings yourself, Jack…!” She said, slightly awkwardly, then stood up. “Forgive me for my inattention; I was observing the ponies here. They mingle so freely, both male and female, members from all tribes and… I think they call them ‘social classes,’ yes? It’s soothing, to me, to see such Unity among people, even in these trying times.”
“Yeah, ponies do love a good party, and that goes double when Pinkie has a hoof in it,” said Jack. “I don’t suppose you have anything like this back in Ga-Koro?”
“Oh, we do,” Gali replied with a smile. “The Ga-Matoran and other Ga-Koronans work together well enough, it’s true, and it’s similar in the other Koro, but there’s not much Unity between the various Koro themselves. Not many Matoran choose to brave the distances between villages with Makuta's Rahi beasts running amok. It’s not much better between we Toa, either.”
“That’s a pity, especially since it doesn’t give you much of a chance to visit the other Toa yourself,” said Jack, “although, perhaps a railroad could solve a few problems.”
“A… rail road?” Gali asked. “What is that?”
“Quite simple. Imagine a bunch of carriages, filled with freight and passengers, pulled at high speed by an engine. No more individual Matoran needing to take a risk when traveling to another village, just a smooth and fast train ride. Plus, if you run the tracks underground, you should be able to avoid most, if not all, of the beasts.”
“While the Onu-matoran, and even Onua himself, would probably be more than willing to assist with that,” Gali replied, “I've heard tell of plenty of tunneling and burrowing Rahi. Some are peaceful creatures, who would be displaced from their homes by such a thing. Others, however, are far less than agreeable, and would take umbrage to such intrusions. Or, so Onua and Turaga Whenua tell me. It's still a wonderful idea, though.”
“Well, not all of it needs to be underground, I suppose a little ingenuity could put the tracks high above the ground as well, so perhaps the Le-Matoran could help there?” asked Jack. “Also, if we can get the Po-Matoran to line the edges of the tunnel sections in super dense rock, and Kopaka to scout the route to avoid their nests, we can avoid any hassles in that area. Not to mention the fact that we’ll need Ta-Matoran blacksmiths to craft the actual components, and I’m certain you can think of a way for the Ga-Matoran to contribute. If the railway is going to help all the tribes, it’s only fair that all the tribes help to build it.”
Gali nodded. “Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!” She said, and nudged him with her shoulder. “I’d definitely recommend you bring this plan to the Turaga directly, once Caldoric gets the portal working…” she trailed off, her happy expression fading as she looked back at the ponies and sighed.
“...Caldoric.” She said at last, her tone pensive. “Now, there’s a strange being, if ever I've met one. And I've talked to Kapura once: he had me confused for days, and yet... Caldoric is something else entirely.”
Jack rubbed his chin, “I wonder if the Matoran ever thought the same about you?” Gali chuckled, though there was no real humor in it.
“Them? Think us strange? Hah!” She chuckled again, but quieted down a tad as she noticed some of the ponies beginning to give her funny looks. “Heh, anyway… to answer your question: no, they don't think us strange, as far as I can tell. In fact, they practically revere us as the heroes of their ancient legends, come finally to save them from the Makuta. In their eyes, we can do practically no wrong.
“And then Caldoric came along, once we’d nearly gathered all our masks, telling us of how we were heroes even to beings from beyond our very world, and that we were destined for things far greater than we ever imagined… I had been overwhelmed by the near-worship of the Matoran, and the almost unyielding respect of the Turaga elders, but…” Gali paused. “This was different. He implied, either by accident or intent, that there was more to come beyond our approaching combat with the Makuta. It… it’s enough to make one wonder.”
“That’s heavy, but it brings to mind certain words of wisdom that I find most useful,” said Jack. “‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present’.”
Gali raised an eyebrow at him, and gave a brief snort of laughter. Jack could see a twinkle of happiness in her eyes now, however brief it may have been, as she began to speak.
“While that may be true, I still have my concerns as to our future. He told us that this ability we have, our capability to Shift…” Gali paused, looking at her foreleg for a moment, before she gracefully reared onto handles and shapeshifted into a distinctly more humanoid form that Jack recognized. “Caldoric seemed shocked that this, something that was an everyday occurrence for Matoran and the Turaga as well, was something we could do, stating that it should not have been. He said that it was a deviation from -- what did he call it? The ‘alpha timeline’, I believe? If his words are true, and our circumstances are different from those he claims to have known, then who’s to say we are to succeed? Are we still guaranteed victory here, in the same way he claims we had in this so-called alpha timeline?
“You have no alternate counterpart to compare yourself to, so I could understand if you can't comprehend the feelings I am experiencing at present, but…”
Jack put a hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort the upset Toa of Water. “Hey, that just means that you might have bonuses this so-called ‘alpha timeline’ doesn’t. If you can get that railway working, even Makuta himself might have pause at the Unity it’ll create, not to mention he’s only planning for the 6 of you, not the ponies or Caldoric. Just relax, ‘don’t wait for it to happen, don’t even want it to happen, just watch was does happen’.”
Gali blinked, holding Jack’s gaze briefly, before sighing and looking away. “That makes sense, in a way. Yet Makuta has eyes and ears in every shadow, as the Turaga constantly remind us. He’ll know by now that we’re not alone anymore. But, as you say, we’ll have to cross that bridge when we reach it, and not before. Twilight and her friends will undoubtedly have our backs, yet… I'm unsure about Caldoric. He’s near impossible to pin down: he’ll say one thing, and then do another that's completely contrary. Not even Lewa is as bad as him, and Lewa can barely stand still for a few seconds. Not that I dislike that about my Brother, but…” Gali sighed again.
“What are we going to do about Caldoric? Surely, he’ll balk at the thought of even the rail road you told me of, if it’s something that did not occur in his other ‘timeline’. In fact, the idea seems so far beyond our level of creation on the island, it might take years to get right.”
“Then it’s a good thing that Equestria has a working railway that you can take notes on,” said Jack. “As for Cal, I’m working on it.”
“Perhaps,” Gali replied, a faint bit of hope in her voice, “but I can't help but be apprehensive, despite your comforting words. If it comes to it, we may have to speak with him directly about these things.”
“As you should,” said Jack, “communication is the first step to Unity after all.”
“Strange that you should mention that,” Gali replied, still watching the ponies. “As Shasa, the Weaver, tells us, from Unity comes Purity, and Purity in turn fuels further Unity. And Purity also begets Speed, according to our Shipwright, Marka. Yet, ever since Caldoric arrived, there has been less communication between us all, especially from him to us. His presence… it seems to weigh upon the six of us and our Unity, straining it: slowing us, even, despite his urging towards conflict. There is something not right about him.”
“You just need to learn to adapt to each other,” said Jack. “Although, I have to disagree with Shasa on one point.”
Gali looked at Jack with great shock at his words, as if he'd just slapped her, or suggested that Applejack could fly. “Oh? And how is that?” She asked, concerned.
“Purity implies that all of you become identical yes? That’s not something you should be striving for,” said Jack as he grabbed a few cookies from the nearby snack table. “Now, if this dessert table was pure, we’d only see one kind of cookie. But as you can see, we have several, because not everyone likes the same kind of cookie. It’s the same with people. To build something, you need people who can do different things; some people to draft the schematics, some people to cut the pieces, some people to wire it up, and so on.”
Gali gave him a blank look that slowly morphed into a smile, followed by a giggle, and then the Toa of Water broke into full-on laughter. “Oh, Jack, poor Jack…” she said at last, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, “you are so amusingly misguided. We fully understand that each individual has a unique position within the grand scheme of things. Gali, for example, is one of the Matoran who gather flax, while Kai is our best Sailor, and Nixie is our Astrologer. No, by Purity, I meant like pure water, instead of seawater: Pure water has had the impurities and contaminants removed, making it more useful, and safe to drink.
“Thus, within ourselves, we must seek to be pure, and fight our inner darkness, so that we might be better people as a whole, even with our differences in personality and opinion.” Gali smiled at him as she came to a conclusion. “Now do you understand, Jack?”
Jack merely shrugged, “Forgive my misinterpretation, it’s a good thing you’re the brains of the Toa or I might have looked really stupid.”
“Oh, Jack, I thank you for your kind words, but Onua and Kopaka are more fitting to the description. Onua is the wisest, while Kopaka provide the cool intellect... when he chooses to participate, that is.”
“Well then, what do you provide to the team?” asked Jack.
“I… I’m not sure.” Gali confessed. “I’ve often asked myself that question. But does it matter? With there being more than one version of my reality, and multiple Equestrias, as Caldoric says, wouldn’t there possibly be another Gali -- another me -- who’s better suited to whatever my place is? With all these heroes out there, does it matter what I do?”
“Of course it matters,” said Jack, “let me tell you, I’ve noticed several differences between this and my Equestria’s Lunas: some subtle, some not so much. Although now that I think about it, maybe you’re the glue.”
“The… glue? What is glue? How does it pertain to what I am to the other Toa?”
“Glue is a substance that’s used to stick two objects together,” said Jack, “and perhaps you’re the one who makes sure that the Toa stay a team. You’re a good listener, you’re patient, and you tend not to get worked up easily; all are hallmarks of a good peacekeeper.”
Gali paused, her gaze going off into the distance, and then her brows furrowed as she thought about what Jack had said. “A peace-keeper, you say… perhaps you’re right. I do tend to be the first one to break up arguments in our circle. Usually, it’s between Kopaka and… Tahu…” Her voice trailed off. “Tahu. I forgot, he almost set an entire portion of Le-Wahi ablaze with a careless use of his powers, just to get a Mask out of a tree, and had the gall not to be sorry about it after I put the flames out…! Mata Nui, he’s impulsive… I’m still not talking to him after that. Not to mention that it’s usually him and Kopaka that want to go off on their own the most: it’s about the only thing those two agree on…!”
Jack just chuckled, “Well, it looks like you have plenty to think about, I’m going to go mingle.”
Gali chuckled. “I don't blame you, Jack. You yourself have given me plenty to consider as well, but at least I can now see an end to the dark clouds that had been troubling me before. Hopefully the seas beyond their edge will be calmer to travel. Safe journeys… cousin.” She then held up a fist, as if offering it for him to bump.
Jack bumped it, before walking off and chuckling to himself. “Cousin to a Toa, this trip’s starting to look up.” He said, and went off to find the next Toa on his list.
~~~~
Pinkie looked at the party around her, completely in her Element. Ponies around her were having an amazing time, all within acceptable levels. She moved among them, feeling the ebb and flow of moving bodies and fun music in her very bones, giving folks around her an occasional greeting or compliment to keep them happy. Parties were delicate things, she knew, and needed occasional maintenance to keep them going.
Heck, if she really wanted, she could keep something like this going for weeks, nonstop, and nopony would complain. In fact, she had done just that once, when she was younger. It hadn't ended well.
Pinkie shook her head to clear it of the slowly-encroaching negative memories, and looked about for her quarry once again. Lewa, Onua, or Kopaka? Hmmm, who should I talk to first? She asked herself, nodding and offering a smile to a pony who caught her attention with a wave. Lewa can probably wait, since I get along with him so well, and have spent the most time with the guy. Kopaka’s rather less than friendly, so I'll need extra oomph to melt that icy shell and get him to crack. But once he opens up, it’s bound to be interesting. That just leaves Onua for my opening act…
Her mind made up, (for a certain value thereof: even Pinkie had to admit she was all over the place up there…) she locked onto where the currently pony-shaped Toa of Earth was situated, talking with a circle of ponies that sat down in front of him. Judging by his gesticulations, he was probably telling them a story or joke. She had to get over there, stat!
Pinkie moved with swift, cat-like grace through the crowd, popping through a few of the looser folds of reality when shortcuts were needed, or when she felt like just doing it (which was almost always.) As she did, she briefly reflected on her ability to do so, still unsure how she’d figured out the trick even all these years later.
“And so,” his deep, booming voice eventually carried to Pinkie’s ears, “I came back to the Mining Captain with that handful of parts, and I told him, ‘Dosne, here, I have some widgets for you!’ And then he gave me a funny look, and said ‘Widgets? Those aren't widgets! Those are the missing parts from the South shaft digger! Wherever did you find them?’” The crowd of ponies around him burst into laughter as Onua finished his tale with a smile.
“Ooh, ooh! Are you telling them the story of how you first found Onu-Koro?” Pinkie asked, bouncing up to Onua's side and leaning against him like an overfriendly dog. “I love that story! Did you tell them how you scared part of the mining team half to death that one time?” There were a few snorts and giggles all around. Even Onua managed an honest laugh.
“Hah hah, oh, I was just getting to that!” He said, ruffling her already unruly mane. “Salutations, by the way, young Pinkamena! How’ve you been?”
“Oh, fine, fine, just trying to help cheer up some ponies in these hard times.” Pinkie said, casually. “You know, the usual. Hey, why don't you finish up this tale real quick; I wanna talk to ya, you overgrown pile a’ parts!”
“Sure thing, my fleshy friend,” Onua replied, then turned back to his audience, who were all giggling at their antics. “Now, where was I… oh, yes, I remember. So, there I was, holding the very parts I'd been looking for all along, and so I decided to go deliver them myself. After all, I'm a Toa, and we’re supposed to help the Matoran, yes? So, I started digging a tunnel straight down to the deepest parts of the South shaft. I dug and dug for several minutes, and just as I was sure I was nearing my destination, I was surprised to suddenly find a pickaxe breaking through the stone before me, almost striking me clean on the mask!
“And what do I do?” Onua asked, more rhetorically than anything, though a small hoof shot into the air from the crowd.
“Ooh, did you knock?” Asked the owner of the hoof, still waving it around.
Onua chuckled mightily. “Knock? No, I did something far worse than knock, given the situation. I waited for the pick to pull itself free, then I proceeded to shoulder through the wall like it was nothing, and said--”
“OOGAH-BOOGAH-BOOGAH!” Pinkie shouted, jumping up from behind Onua and startling half the audience. Their fear quickly turned to amusement as they registered her silly face and hilarious gesticulations. Soon, even Pinkie and Onua had joined in the laughter.
“Pinkie,” he admonished her, though the effect was rather ruined by his chuckling. “You shouldn't do that to others, it's not nice.”
“Oh, please, it was too good an opportunity to pass up!” Pinkie said, wiping away a tear. “Besides, Rainbow would never have let me live down a missed chance for a prank!”
“This is true,” Onua admitted, as he began to turn back to his audience. “Now, I'm almost finished: I’ll be with you in just a moment. Alright, ponies, as you can imagine, I broke through the wall and stated as confidently as I could; ‘Behold, Matoran: I am here for you!’ Their reaction, to be honest, was much like your own just now, with small figures running and galloping every which way with wild abandon, screaming about a monster. Of course, covered in earth and rock dust as I was, I must have made a terrifying sight. It took a few minutes to calm them down, but once I had, the parts were swiftly replaced within the digger, and work really got into full swing. And then I had to go explain what had happened to Whenua, and you can imagine how that went…”
There were scattered giggles and snickers from several of the younger members of the audience, remembering times where they’d had to explain similar antics to their parents on various occasions. With Onua's tale finished, they all began to scatter and mingle with the other partygoers, and Onua returned his attention to Pinkie.
“So, cousin, what did you wish to speak about?” He asked, concerned. “Is something amiss?”
“Oh, no, I was just wondering how you've been holding up, big guy.” Pinkie replied. “You liking the party? Anything you need? Something you want to… talk about…?” She began elbowing him gently in the ribs, as if trying to hint at something.
“Erm, no, there’s nothing I can--” he began, then spotted one of the refreshment tables. “Actually, I could probably go for a small amount of that ‘punch’ you had at yesterday's party. It was rather good, and my throat's a bit parched from telling such a long tale…” No sooner had he asked, than there was suddenly a cup of punch in Pinkie's outstretched hooves. “Ah, thank you, cousin.” Without further ado, Onua took a swig from it, sighed, then shivered a little.
“Um, you alright?” Pinkie asked, suddenly concerned.”
“Oh, I'm fine, it’s just… it’s a bit chillier than one would expect here on this mountainside. Even Mount Ihu back home was a bit warmer at this elevation, and there’s snow all over it… it boggles my mind to find such discrepancies.”
“You're so down to earth, Onua,” Pinkie replied, smiling innocently. “You’re grounded in reality, while everypony else is off elsewhere.”
“Why, thank you, Pink-- oh, I see what you did there. Very funny, young miss.” Onua replied, waggling his free digging claw at her. “Now, I can only assume you wanted to talk to me about something other than puns or the weather, so let the topic breathe: even the most fertile soil needs aeration from time to time.”
Pinkie scraped a hoof against the floor a couple of times, trying to format her next words properly. “Well, as Equestria's resident Party Pony, in charge of keeping ponies happy and stuff, I was wondering… is everything going alright with you and the other Toa? Like, anything weeeeeird going on? Lack of harmony, anything that you've got concerns about, members who may-or-may-not be causing problems, all that jazz. So?” Pinkie gave him her biggest, most expectant grin, trying to exude an air of “trustability,” as she would call it. Onua looked at her for a moment, then turned away and tapped his chin.
“Hmmm… well, as you’ve probably noticed, -- and Twilight as well, if her frequent ‘friendship’ talks are anything to go by, -- we seem to be lacking in Unity, and aren't exactly functioning as the team we’re supposed to be just yet. And I guess it’s gotten a bit worse since we came to your world. No offense, of course, Pinkie.”
“None taken!” She chirped, all smiles (and ears!) “Even my friends and I have our off days sometimes!”
“Indeed. But, like I said, having distanced ourselves from our Duty has caused us to fragment more than before. Pohatu wants to go off and explore this new place; Gali is seeming to be less sure of herself now than she ever was; Lewa is, well, Lewa, and seems to have found a new crowd to please with his antics.” Onua paused to look over at where the Toa of Air was doing tricks and flips and other interesting things with his powers, entertaining a large group of local Ponies. “Tahu and Kopaka are squabbling about as noisily as ever about how to do things as quickly as possible, and disagreeing on everything. Caldoric seems to be in almost as much of a hurry as them, but…” Onua sighed heavily.
“What is it?” Pinkie asked, suddenly very interested. “What bats are rattling around that belfry of a braincase you got there, friend?”
“...belfry?”
Pinkie waved a hoof at him. “Tell ya later. You were talking about Caldoric…?”
“Hmm. Well, just like Tahu, he’s almost impulsively eager to fight Makuta, but there’s also a sort of cool intellect guiding it all, like Kopaka has, only with less restrictions.” Onua had begun listing things off on his fingers at this point, still holding the cup in his other hand. “Yet, unlike both of them, Caldoric is nearly demanding, or even outright pleading with us, to work together as a whole. Then he goes off and does something of his own that gets him or someone else hurt, and starts it all over again. Oh, and he's rather clumsy at times: once, I saw him trip and slide for five or six Bio, flat on his Mask.” Onua chuckled a bit. “Not even Lewa could manage that, let me tell you.”
“Anything else you’ve observed on the matter? Particularly about our Human friend?” Pinkie prompted.
Onua paused, taking a moment to choose his words. “Well, there is one thing I've noticed. He’s somewhat smart, or he appears to be so, and given that he does seem to learn from some of his mistakes, we can assume his level of intelligence is pretty decent as well. However, I wouldn't exactly say he’s the wisest one out there, even if we take myself out of the equation.”
“Really?” Pinkie asked. “You’d think he’d be pretty wise, given that he says he knows how the future’s supposed to go.”
Onua shook his head, and gestured in Pinkie's direction with the cup of nearly-drained punch. “No, see, that’s just it. One cannot truly know the future with the accuracy he claims, even if he had seen it or, Mata Nui forbid, actually been there. Turaga Nuju once told me, by way of Matoro, that the act of observing something inherently changes the nature of the observed.”
“Oh, I know this one!” Pinkie exclaimed, almost bouncing in place with excitement. “Twilight told me about this once: she called it, um, I think it was ‘Heiferberg’s uncertainty principle’?”
“Actually, that one’s about the hypothetical behaviours of theoretical sub-thaumic particles, Pinkie.” Twilight interjected, walking up to the two of them. “Hey Onua, glad to see you're here, too! Anywho, Heiferberg stated that we can only ever determine either the location or the velocity of an object, but never both at the same time, even with theoretical mathematology. You meant the Observation Principle, Pinkie.”
“Ah, sorry, I guess I was,” Pinkie paused dramatically, “uncertain about that fact.” Onua gave a short bark of laughter, while Twilight merely facehooved.
“Not like I haven't heard that one before…” the Princess of Friendship muttered darkly.
“So,” Onua began, as he calmed down from a fit of the giggles, “Twilight, you were talking about magic, yes? I’ve been meaning to ask you how that works exactly: it seems strangely similar to our elemental powers, from what I've seen.”
“Oh, I've come to a similar conclusion,” Twilight agreed, suddenly going into her expert-on-all-things-magic mode as she began to exchange techno-babble with Onua.
And that’s my cue to leave… Pinkie thought, as she turned off her social “I am here” signal and allowed herself to fade into the background around the two intellectual giants. Now, on to Kopaka…
~~~~
Jack left the rescued pony he was talking to and went to search for his next target. ‘That should be enough of a buffer to mask my intentions, now where is Mr hothead?’ After searching the crowd for a few minutes, he spotted him over near the chocolate fountain. “Hail, mighty Toa of Flame!”
Tahu’s head snapped around at Jack's greeting, revealing that he had been tasting a bit of chocolate off a finger he’d dipped into the fondue. “Ah, hail there, Jack! Strange stuff, this ‘chocolate’. We dont have anything like it back on Mata Nui. And so much food! This would be enough to feed a Koro for nearly a year, or more, and yet these ponies are going through it in less than an hour! Amazing!”
“Well, we are a purely organic species,” Jack replied, “from what little I know of your biology, food for us is as essential as a Kanohi for a Matoran.”
Tahu blinked. “Really? How strange. If Onua were here, he’d probably say that it was ‘inefficient’, or something like that. Tell me, is there something you require?”
“Straight to the point, I can appreciate that as an engineer,” said Jack. “I’ll be blunt in return: you seem to be a little… standoffish, in regards to Caldoric.”
“Caldoric? Hmmm…” Tahu licked the last of the chocolate off his finger before stroking his chin. “He’s a strange one, to be sure. I’ll admit, even though he says he has no combat experience, he fights well, if our skirmish yesterday is anything to go by. I admire him for that, at least. And he’s definitely got the right idea having me as his favorite Toa: he said as much when we first met! My only problem is, he says he knows everything about us and our world, then he refuses to tell me what’s going to happen next!”
“It’s probably for the best,” said Jack, “messing with the future can lead to all sorts of problems. And the worst part is that you’ll never be able to see them until it’s too late.” Tahu scoffed at the idea.
“Please. There’s nothing that I can't handle. If he'd tell me what the Makuta's plans are, I could preempt that monster’s actions and save Mata Nui myself.”
“Even if it results in a future ally never existing?” asked Jack. Tahu froze, and slowly looked down at Jack, dead in the eye.
“You know something, don't you,” He said: it wasn't a question, and his tone carried a hint of danger to it.
“Not as much as Cal, but yes,” said Jack as he stuck a marshmallow on a skewer and and placed it in the fountain. “I can give you a small piece of it, if you promise not to act on it, or even let anyone know that you know.”
Tahu leaned in close, and squinted at Jack. “On my honor as a Toa, I swear it. Now, spill.”
Jack stuck the chocomallow in his mouth before walking towards a secluded area of the party, motioning for Tahu to follow. Once they arrived, and made sure there was no-one within earshot, Jack began speaking. “First, I need to confirm something. There is a prophecy concerning a seventh Toa, but Space wasn’t his element, yes?”
“Not… not that I know of.” Tahu said, looking doubtful. “It does seem like the Turaga only reveal certain prophecies when they become relevant, such as the fact that we were meant to gather at Kini-Nui, after we’d found all the Masks. And Caldoric did seem to know things that Vakama was rather cagey about. In fact, Caldoric said something to him once that had the elder downright scared.”
“Knowledge is power, and power comes with it’s own responsibilities,” said Jack. “Anyway, mind if I ask what he said?”
“He asked if Vakama had seen any of Makuta’s ‘dark hunters’ lately.” Tahu explained, with a shrug. “But he used a term for Makuta that I've not heard anyone else use, even the Turaga. He called him ‘the shadowed one’, or something along those lines.”
Jack rubbed his chin, “I can see why that brought up some bad memories, and no that isn’t the knowledge I’m granting you. Anyway, as part of this prophecy, two Matoran, whose Tribes and names will not be revealed, will go on a quest. When Makuta learns of this quest, he will send out his own sons -- yes, that’s a thing, -- to prevent the Toa’s awakening. At the end of the quest, one of the Matoran will sacrifice themself to intercept a blow from one of the sons aimed at the other. This grants the surviving Matoran the resolve to accept their destiny and awaken the Toa. As a direct result of this, Makuta is defeated permanently, and Mata Nui is awakened.”
Tahu’s eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. It wasn't far, to be honest, but it was enough to be noticeable to anyone with eyes. “Well…” he said at last, “that’s more than Caldoric has deigned to tell us… it’s good to know that we will be victorious in our own quest. It is disappointing, though, that we will have to wait for this to come to pass…” Tahu’s expression became grim, and he clenched his fists.
“Now, here’s something I want you to think about,” said Jack. “If you destroy Makuta, or cause his sons to be unleashed ahead of schedule, there's a chance that even if the ball starts rolling on the 7th, 8th including Caldoric I suppose, Toa’s awakening, the final catalyst may never occur. Without that Toa, Mata Nui’s awakening might not come to pass. It’s said that one often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it; I believe that the inverse can also be true.”
“Meaning?” Tahu asked.
“Think on it for a while, it’ll make sense,” said Jack, “at least you don’t have to deal with time travel, that is both incredibly dangerous and headache inducing.”
Tahu glared at him. “This fascination with time and predestination that you and Caldoric seem to share is what's giving me a headache at the moment.” The Toa of Fire snarked. “As depressing as it is, how do I know that what you’ve said so far isn't a trick of the Makuta himself? How can I trust you not to have been sent to sow dissention between us? You could be bluffing, diverting our attention to a false, far-off hope when our focus should be here and now.” He slowly reached up to his shoulder, hand looking for his sword hilt.
“You can’t prove or disprove anything I’ve said, sometimes faith is all you have to work with,” said Jack as he walked away. “And stay away from time travel, I mean it. Changing the past has never worked out, ever.”
Tahu merely looked at him with deep suspicion as he walked away, loosening his grip on the sword. “Maybe I won't,” he uttered, defiant, “or maybe I will. I guess only time will-- dangit. These ponies are getting to me with their puns…”
~~~~
Pinkie sidled up to Kopaka, who was sitting off to one side of the party in his equine form. His eyes were closed, his head was bowed, his wings slightly spread, and ears slowly turning this way and that as he listened for… something.
“Hey Kopaka!” Pinkie said, probably a bit louder than she needed to, and sat down right next to him. Beyond a slight flicker of one ear, there was no response from the icy Pegasus-Toa. Pinkie nudged him a bit, but still he did nothing. Pinkie was now a bit concerned, not to mention somewhat bored, and decided to try and do something about it.
So, she pulled out her party cannon, took careful aim, and… FWEEEEEE! Kopaka was lambasted with streamers, confetti, little dangly shiny things one would normally hang from the ceiling, and a few stray balloons.
Still, he did nothing.
“Wow, talk about a cold wither…” Pinkie murmured, chewing her lip. She had to admit, not many ponies (or other beings, to be honest,) could take a point-blank blast from her party cannon and not have any sort of reaction afterwards: this guy was good. She'd have to up her game if she wanted him to engage in conversation.
And so, she tried everything she could think of to get a response: she started with whoopee cushions, horns of various varieties, feathers to the nose or other sensitive spots, and dumping water on him (which just froze,) among other things. Even stacking various items on him in random ways, like a large-scale game of Jenga, did nothing.
At last, she was down to one of her final, lowest-of-the-low, totally immature jokes. She stuck the tip of one forehoof in her mouth, used her tongue to get it nice and wet with saliva, and then slowly, carefully, reached up towards one of Kopaka's twitching ears.
“Don't. Even. Think. About. It.” Kopaka said, slowly and deliberately. His normally cool demeanor and calm, chilly tone of voice were now practically Arctic. The Toa of Ice abruptly shook himself off, dislodging everything that had been placed upon him oh-so-carefully, then turned to Pinkie. His eyes, usually the soft light blue of a crisp winter sky, were now hard as ice.
“What do you want.” He said: it was less a question, and more a demand for Pinkie to hurry up and finish, so he could get back to whatever he’d been doing.
“Oh, I just wanted to talk.” Pinkie replied, nonchalantly, as she leaned back in her sitting position. “You know, something ponies do at parties…?”
“You only invited me to be present at this gathering.” Kopaka stated, now sounding bored. “There was no mention of participating, or of making idle conversation. So, I am here to fulfill my invitation to the letter, while taking time to meditate. Nothing more.”
“Huh, you’re almost as bad as Caldoric about parties…” Pinkie remarked. “It’s surprising that you two don't get along better.” One of Kopaka's ears twitched, and his eyes narrowed a very perceptible amount.
“Don't compare me to him.” He practically snapped. “He and I are nothing alike. He is impulsive -- moreso than Lewa, if that’s even possible, -- whereas I am more reserved. He acts without thought: I plan ahead. He takes things from others, without permission or quarter: I am self-sufficient, and make do with what I have. And no matter what he may look like, or claim to be, he is no Toa. He is not one of us, and he is not my ally.”
“Whoa, hey there!” Pinkie exclaimed, recoiling in genuine shock. In fact, her ears had pinned back, and her mane and tail flattened almost completely at Kopaka's harsh declaration. “That’s a bit early to--”
“No, I have given the matter much thought, and this is the conclusion I have come to: he’s a hindrance to us and our mission, and therefore should be considered a threat to the safety of everyone involved. And threats need to be removed from the equation.”
“He could also be helpful…” Pinkie suggested, though her posture told a different story to Kopaka's prying eyes.
“You don't seem so sure, Pinkamena.” Kopaka offered. “Have you considered this, though? He himself admitted that he was from another way of life, and if what he looks like now is his natural state of being, then he is physically different to us as well. He is not a Toa like us, and never has been: thus, he has not been subject to our Toa Code. He is not sworn to defend the Matoran, or to defeat the Makuta and awaken Mata Nui. I can't yet tell for sure, but I believe he doesn't share our compunction against… against killing, either.”
“From what I've heard of Luna and Celestia's explanation, he seems to want vengeance on Somnus for killing Rainbow’s mom…” Pinkie commented, trying to help. However, it soon became apparent that her words had done more harm than good, in Kopaka's ears.
“So, he’s sworn to go after Somnus? By any specific means, might I ask?” When Pinkie shook her head, Kopaka’s eyes twinkled with menace. “So, no holds barred, then. And if he’s so desperate, then who’s to say he wouldn't remove anyone or anything in the way of that goal? You saw how swiftly he tore off with Jack to reach Ponyville with not even a promise that Somnus would be there, breaking confinement along the way. And he was quick to blast me earlier today, when I was… emotionally compromised, I guess, but nevermind that. He said I was one of his heroes, and yet he wasted no time to turn on me in a time of crisis. Perhaps he’ll do the same to one of us later, or do something to some unfortunate Matoran, without any real reason. He must be stopped.”
“You’re being a bit unreasonable here…!” Pinkie argued, desperate to find a solution.
“No, I'm not. How can I, or any of us, trust our lives to someone who won't even tell us what he knows of our future, or who would take my Mask so as to prevent me from looking through a closed door?”
“H-he p-probably had his own reasons…?” Pinkie guessed. She was suddenly aware of a guard entering the party, making his way over to Celestia, and engaging her in a hushed, urgent-looking conversation.
“Why are you defending him, anyway?” Kopaka nearly snarled, oblivious. “Oh wait, let me guess: you have your own reasons, too.”
Pinkie tittered nervously, eyes darting all around, before she caught sight of Celestia and Luna now leaving with the guard that had engaged them moments before. The party-planner then fixed her gaze on Lewa on the other side of the room. “Oh, will you look at the time! I really need to be… over there, ish! Bye!” with that, Pinkie abruptly zoomed off at Mach Nope, her form appearing to stretch absurdly as the light reflection slowly caught up with her movement: the speed of light is severely impacted by travel through a thaumic field such as that which permeated the atmosphere of Equestria's homeworld.
Kopaka didn't know this, however, and so when he tried to seize her retreating form, all he grasped in his snapping teeth were photonic echoes and dust. He proceeded to roll his shoulders and fluff his wings a bit before trying to return to his meditative state. Unfortunately, all the talk of Caldoric had riled him up, so he was too distracted to find his center of balance just then.
“Hey, whoa, man…!” Said an unfamiliar, and thus unwelcome, voice. “Nice wings! Your feathers look softer than freshly fallen snow…! How do you keep them so fluffy, with the rest of you all mechanical-like?”
Kopaka snapped one eye open and attempted to glare at the new arrival: a green-coated mare whose mane and tail consisted of matching orange dreadlocks. “How's that working out for you?” She continued, then stuck out her hoof. “Name’s Treehugger, by the way. Nice to meet you.”
Kopaka rolled his eyes and tried once more to retreat from the distractions around him.
“Oh, hey, you were tryin’ to meditate: 's cool, I can totes dig that. Sorry I interrupted, then, man. I’ll just, like, join you over here.”
Kopaka sighed. It was going to be one of those days.
~~~~
Jack wandered the party, not going anywhere in particular, his chat with Tahu on his mind. ‘Hope he takes my advice about time travel. I don’t know if the Mask of Time can do that, but it’s better for everyone if we never find out.’
“Greetings!”
A cheerful voice and a hearty slap on the back startled Jack out of his thoughts, revealing that Pohatu, his next target for a chat, had actually come to him first.
“So... Jack, is it?” Pohatu asked, a smile evident in his Mask and in his eyes. “We didn't get to talk much after you showed up out of nowhere with Caldoric, Discord, and all those ponies. How’d that trip go?”
“I’ll just say this. All those ponies? They were Shardlings yesterday,” Jack said proudly. Pohatu raised his eyebrows.
“Wow, really? Very nice work, then!” He replied, shaking Jack's shoulder a little. “So, how’d you deal with them, by the way? Did you notice that some of them were ponies trapped in shells, while others were their own entities?”
“I was briefed on them, but the solution was conceived and executed by me,” said Jack as he picked up a piece of rock candy from a nearby table and pulled the Beat Switch from his pocket. “You see, everything has something known as a resonant frequency. If you play a note of the same frequency, it starts vibrating.” He turned on the Switch to demonstrate. “Get the volume high enough and…” Right on cue, the candy shattered.
Pohatu gasped, pleasantly surprised, then snapped his fingers and pointed at Jack. “You mean like resonant harmonics in crystalline structures! Genius! Onewa mentioned something about that once, and I've been wondering if I'd ever get a chance to try it out.” The Toa of Stone laughed, genuinely amused. “As a Turaga of Stone, it’s his job to know just about everything about rocks, and he’s been slipping me a few tidbits here and there. Oh, speaking of which, did you know they have rock farms here? I’d never heard of them before Pinkie told me her family owns one. She wanted to show me sometime: it sounds like it’ll be so much fun!”
“To each their own,” said Jack as he put the Switch away and popped the remains of the candy in his mouth. “That has me wondering though, is there anything similar to that in Po-Koro?”
“No, we mostly just have carvers who make statues and other stoneworks, when they’re not crafting other things.” Pohatu sighed. “To be honest, it may be a bit of a simple life in the deserts of Po-Wahi, but there’s plenty of space to run around, or put up… statues…” He rubbed the back of his head, sheepishly.
Jack chuckled, “I’m sure Po-Wahi has its charms. Although, perhaps it might be a good place for sand-sailing.”
“Sand sailing? That sounds fun.”
“It’s basically a cart with a sail and steering, pushed along with the wind,” said Jack. “They’re best used in areas with a lot of flat ground and wind, like a desert. That sound like Po-Wahi?”
“Eh, perhaps. I mean, there are some expanses of dry, cracked rock you occasionally come across, but it’s mostly sand, with the occasional dune or two.” Pohatu hummed to himself and placed one elbow in his other hand as he seemed to consider something. “Not much wind, though, so that may be a problem. Of course, I could always invite Lewa along for the ride, and then we’d have unlimited wind. He’d probably enjoy it, too.”
“Pity there’s not too much flat ground in Le-Wahi from what I understand,” said Jack.
“Not that that matters anyway; Lewa rarely walks anywhere if he can avoid it, and the Le-Koronans tend to get around via vine or branch.” Pohatu shrugged. “Or even on some of the local flying Rahi, if Lewa can be believed. But you look like someone with something pressing on your mind, so tell me: what's troubling you?”
“Just done talking with Tahu,” said Jack, “seriously, I try to give him some good advice and help him get over his hang-up with Caldoric, and he calls me an agent of Makuta.”
Pohatu flinched at the words. “Ouch, that can't be good. Then again, he is the Toa of Fire. He’s usually pretty hot-headed like that. I’m just sorry you had to feel the brunt of his temper. Out of curiosity, what'd you do to get him so steamed up?” He smirked a bit, and Jack realized that the Toa of Stone had made a subtle joke.
“Explained why Caldoric’s so cagey with his intel, and warned him against time travel,” said Jack. “Seriously, don’t do it. Best case scenario if you change the past without thinking is a bad future, worst case is you never existed at all.”
“I believe you mean ‘not ever have existed anymore,’ but that grammar’s more for beings from beyond your paltry three dimensions,” said Discord, suddenly popping up from behind Jack’s shoulder, then looked at him and Pohatu in turn. “Sorry, am I interrupting something?”
“Just a friendly chat,” said Jack, as Pohatu stared, startled. “where’s Screwy?”
“Oh, I'm not sure. She’s a little all over the place, to be honest, and I really don't know where she got that from…” the god of chaos replied, lazily, examining the talons on his claw. “But, if something interesting happens, let me know, alright? I wouldn't want to miss it…!” He suddenly was wearing a dayglow-orange safety vest, a camo hat, and sunglasses, while sighting along a backwards rifle. Half a second later, and he was gone.
There was a beat of silence between Pohatu and Jack, before the former coughed into a closed fist. “So… you mentioned Caldoric being cagey, did you? I have to admit, he has seemed a bit… reluctant, as you said, but I think he means well.” The Toa of Stone sucked in a breath, then continued. “I mean, he definitely knows what he’s doing, which is more than you could say about us half the time, but he could at least clue us in from time to time. It'd be nice to be in the know, you know?”
“It’s for good reason,” said Jack, “imagine knowing if something really bad is going to happen, but not know if trying to prevent it will lead to a better outcome, or one that’s even worse.”
“Ah, yeah, that’s pretty bad.” Pohatu agreed. “So, are you saying that he’s like that, all the time, because he ‘knows what’s supposed to happen’?”
“Pretty much,” said Jack. Pohatu gave a hum of understanding. There was another awkward silence between them, before Pohatu suddenly cheered up.
“So, how bout that rock candy stuff, huh?” He asked, brightly. “I wasn't aware there were beings from other worlds that actually ate stone. I mean, there are some Rahi that do it, but... Anyway, how do you think they make it?”
“It’s not actually rock, but it is pretty easy, if time consuming,” said Jack before explaining what most middle-schoolers would agree was their favorite, not to mention tastiest, science project. Pohatu listened with rapt attention, his only question after the explanation being: “How can I get my hands on some sugar?”
~~~~
Lewa was presently balanced on one forehoof, using his wings for balance as he juggled a few different objects with his three remaining hooves. All the ponies watching him cheered and applauded in their strange way at his skill.
“Do a flip!” One of them called, and Lewa was more than happy to oblige: he tossed all the items high into the air, launched himself after them with a swift thrust of his wings, and engaged in a complicated series of flips and spins. When he landed, he did so on two feet with just enough time to catch everything as it fell, sending it all back up piece by piece in a single arc of pure juggling skill. Everyone cheered and stomped, and he flashed them a cheeky grin.
“Lewaaaa…!” Came Pinkie's concerned voice as she scrambled up to him, before coming to a swift standstill that left her vibrating in place.
“Heya Pinkie!” Lewa replied, still juggling even as he looked away from what his hands were doing. “What’s heat-cooking?”
“I may have, possibly, accidentally, mistakenly, potentially…” Pinkie sucked in a deep, calming breath. “Made Kopaka really really mad.” She then reached up and caught several of the items Lewa had tossed her way while she was talking, and began juggling back and forth with Lewa.
“Ah, don't worry-fret, friend!” Lewa replied, looking to a casual observer like he was without a care in the world, though Pinkie knew him better: the cast of his eyes behind the Mask he wore told her he was all ears, ready to listen to her troubles. “Old icy-breath gets that way once in a time-while. Just let him calm-rest downtree, and he should be back to happy-cheer in no time.”
There were several giggles from the crowd at his unusual mode of speech. Even Pinkie managed to smile a bit, her curly mane perking up again.
“Ah, Lewa, you always know what to say to pick me up. I wish everyone could use treespeak, it’s way more fun!” Pinkie replied. “But I really need to talk to you about something super-duper important.”
“Well then, say-tell what’s on your mind!” Lewa suggested. “I’ll hear-listen to whatever you need to get off your chest!” Pinkie shook her head.
“I mean, we need to talk. One-on-one.”
“Ooh,” acknowledged the Toa of Air, as some of the older members of their audience gave knowing laughs. “That sorry-bad, is it?”
Pinkie gave him a “hah hah, very funny” kind of look, then began artfully catching and securing everything Lewa tossed her way. Soon, the juggling number had come to an end, and the crowd applauded the two of them before dispersing. Lewa chuckled a bit, then stepped closer to Pinkie and leaned down to her level.
“So, what are you ponder-thinking, cousin?” He asked.
“Well, uh…” Pinkie rubbed her nose, sniffed, then rattled her mane a little, causing a few stray party supplies to fall out. “You know what? I’ll just drop the pretenses and be a bit blunt here, best buddy. I wanna ask you about Caldoric.”
“Caldoric? What about him?” Lewa replied, tilting his head in confusion.
“Well, I wanted to ask what your opinion is about the guy.” There was a pause between the two, before Lewa spoke up.
“Well then, if you wish to query-ask, then do so!” He said with calm expectation, his Mask a mask of seriousness… for about two seconds, that is, before he broke into a wide grin. Pinkie scoffed and chuckled good-naturedly at his little jest. This allowed her to catch sight of the Princesses re-entering the party, sans guard, and looking much more concerned than before their mysterious exit. Pinkie desperately wanted to go eavesdrop, but she had more important friendship matters to attend to at present.
“Anyway, you seek-wanted my opinion?” Lewa asked, picking the conversation back up and bringing her attention back to there and then. “True-honest, I sorta like him: we have a lot in same-common.”
“You do? What do you mean? He seemed totally different from you guys, to me.”
“Well, for one, he appear-seems to like my acrobatic skill-moves, and wanted me to help him know-learn to do it too!” Lewa explained. “In fact, he was look-watching me just a second ago, till Rarity snatch-grabbed him and dragged him off.”
Indeed, they could both see Caldoric being fussed over by the aspiring fashionista, who was trying to use hooves and magic to do something with his long, light-brown mane.
It’s not a mane, Pinkie subconsciously corrected herself, I think he referred to it as “hair”... It’s pretty long, though: it goes all the way to his flank. Looks nice, too, if a bit dry at the bottom.
The two of them shared a chuckle as Caldoric made a spirited attempt to fend Rarity off, then began to…
“Wait, is he braiding it?” Pinkie asked aloud. “Wow, he’s really good with those fingers of his: look at him go…!”
“Yeah, Rarity looks shock-stunned as well!” Lewa chimed in, and they both giggled. After they’d gotten a good look at the antics involved, they returned to their conversation.
“So, you said that the two of you were similar, huh?” Pinkie prompted, and Lewa nodded in response.
“Yeah, he can't stay-hold still for long, like me, but he’s better at dark-hiding it. See, right there?” Lewa pointed at Caldoric as he finished up the braid. “His left leg: it’s jig-dancing up and down, and his eyes… they either snap all around-over, slide dark-blind from one spot-place to another, or don't move for a long while-time.”
“And… What does that mean? To you, I mean.” Pinkie replied, fascinated that someone as wild and carefree as Lewa had noticed such details.
“He’s a free spirit-hearted being, like you and me,” Lewa suggested, shrugging, “but he's been down-held so long in his world-home, he doesn't know how to be truly sky-free, or how to self-find now he’s here. So much pain-hurt he’s been through, and it's made him numb, so he won't -- or can't -- friend-make…”
“But… but that's so sad!” Pinkie exclaimed faintly, her eyes glistening as she watched Caldoric stalking away from Rarity, leaving the Unicorn mare looking disappointed, yet determined. “To think that there'd be somepony who felt so alone, even when surrounded by so many others…! I knew he needed help realizing that he’s got friends all around, but I never suspected he was so far gone! Even old Cranky had somepony to call a friend, deep down, but Caldoric…” Pinkie sniffed, her mane flattening momentarily before her personality did a complete 180. “But no, I can't just leave him hanging like this! He needs my help, and by Celestia, I'm gonna help him!”
“What're you think-planning?” Lewa asked, a bit concerned now that his friend had abruptly become so invested in Caldoric's personal life. “Finding him an ally-friend?”
“No, we need to go deeper than that!” Pinkie proclaimed, striking a dramatic pose that briefly drew attention from several nearby partygoers. “We need to find him something better than a friend: we need to find him… a marefriend!”
“Or a coltfriend,” supplied Sweetie Belle, as she and the other Crusaders approached the two party-folk. Her friends gave her weird looks for that particular comment. “What? Rarity said that it was becoming sorta fashionable among the really rich folks here to have a special somepony of the same gender, before Chrysalis came back. Again…”
“Ew…” said Applebloom, recoiling slightly. “That’s just weird.”
“What? Applebloom, love knows no bounds!” Sweetie Belle protested.
“Yeah, and he’s an alien, isn't he?” Scootaloo asked. “For all we know, it could be totally normal for him. Maybe they have, like, five different genders where he’s from, or maybe they’re all the same gender! After all, we’ve only seen a few others like him, and they’ve all been guys so far.”
“Uh, actually, one of those Spartan things was a mare.” Sweetie Belle countered.
“Wait, what?” Scootaloo asked, shocked. “Which one?”
“The one with the long mane and large… chest.” Sweetie said, pausing while she tried to find the appropriate word.
“Nah, he just had really ripped muscles up there. You know, like Bulk Biceps? Besides, Caldoric has a long mane, and he’s a dude.” Scootaloo countered. “Also, there're stallions with long manes all over the place in Equestria.”
“Scoots, you’ve hung out with th’ rest of us on mah farm this whole time: did ya seriously not pay attention t’ th’ cows we had thereabouts?” Applebloom asked, incredulous. “They’re female, an’ they’ve got udders.”
“So?” Scootaloo asked, oblivious, as Sweetie Belle blushed. Applebloom sighed and rolled her eyes, then leaned over and whispered something in her friend's ear. “Wait, what?!”The young Pegasus demanded, taking a couple steps back.
“Alright, girls, that’s enough,” Pinkie said, struggling not to laugh as Lewa proceeded to become completely baffled. “It’s time we launched operation ‘Get Caldoric A Special Somepony’, effective immediately!”
“Ah dunno, Pinkie,” Applebloom interjected, “our previous tries at gettin’ two ponies t’ hook up ain't been too successful-like: part a’ me’s afraid this’ll only end in tears…”
“Oh, c’mon, Applebloom,” said Scootaloo, “where’s your sense of adventure? Ready, girls?”
As one unit, the three young Crusaders slapped their forehooves together in a three-way high-five and proclaimed the official start of their latest mission; “Cutie Mark Crusaders: Human Matchmakers, yeah!”
“And Pinkie Pie!” The Party Pony added, putting a hoof on top of theirs.
“And Lewa, Toa-hero supreme!” Agreed Lewa, placing his own hand on the pile, before they all tossed their primary appendages towards the ceiling with a cry of “Break!”
“Oh, but before we get started on that, there’s something that needs doing to finish this party off with a bang!” Pinkie said. “Lemme just grab Jack for that. Meanwhile, you girls scout out somepony that might be a good match. Lewa, follow them. Watch and learn, and if anypony asks, you’re their escort.”
“Will do, cousin!” Lewa replied, saluting. With that, Pinkie dove into the crowd and began swimming and/or “surfing” her way over to Jack.
~~~~
Jack was startled out of his absent contemplations on the matter of things as he was jumped upon by Pinkie Pie, his partner in crime.
“Howdy!” She said cheerily, covering his eyes with her hooves. “Guess who?”
“Spitfire,” Jack chuckled.
“Whaaaaaaaaat?” Pinkie demanded, swinging her head around Jack’s shoulder and sticking her face into his. “Wow, you’re waaaaaaaaaaaay off, you silly! It's me, Pinkie Pie!”
“I know,” said Jack before shifting to a more serious face. “Report.”
“Well…” Pinkie began, tapping a hoof to her chin as she reviewed her conversations and tried to condense it all. “Onua seemed sorta on the fence about him, with a dash of suspicion. Kopaka downright just doesn't like Caldoric, and I'm not completely sure why: he got kinda aggressive at the end. Oh, and Lewa seemed kinda cool with him, because they’ve apparently been getting on well. Oooh, he also pointed out something about Caldoric as well; something I totally should've noticed, but I guess I didn't because he’s so different from us ponies that I didn't pick up on his body language! Of course, I'll let you talk about your part first, because this is a pretty big bombshell.”
“Fair enough,” said Jack. “Let’s see, Gali was nervous because of differences in this reality and the one Caldoric knows, which is causing her some worries. I managed to quell them, I think, and I planted the idea for a Mata Nui Railroad in her head. Plus I may also have quelled some worries about her place in the Toa as well, not Cal-related but should be helpful. Tahu’s concerned about what Cal’s holding back, I gave him a little teaser, after making him promise to keep it to himself, as well as gave a possible outcome of meddling. He called me a servant of Makuta, but I shrugged it off and told him to stay well away from time travel. Seriously, it never ends well.”
“Oof, yeah, I can imagine.” Pinkie said, cringing. “I know it was bad enough when I found that mirror pool, and I heard about what happened with Twilight's time-travel shenanigans a while back… oh, and with Starlight Glimmer's attempted revenge: that was bad.”
“Yeah, I ever get a Switch that can do that, I’m sealing it unless I absolutely need it,” Jack said. “Anyway, Pohatu was pretty chill. Needed to give a brief explanation of Cal’s motives, he accepted it. Also told him about sand sailing, he said he’ll take Lewa sometime.” Pinkie smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” Pinkie agreed, then seemed to realize something. “Oooh, I just remembered, I was gonna go show Pohatu my family's rock farm. I’ll have to remember that after the party. Anywho, like I was saying, Lewa noticed a few teeny-weeny things about Caldoric, and once he told me, I realized what his problem is! He’s lonely, and he’s hurt inside. Like, emotionally and stuff. So, I came up with a plan!”
“Just make sure not to go so far that you spook him,” said Jack. “Anyway, we should mingle. If you see Discord or Screwy, see if you can secure their support for the #21.”
“Well, I see Screwball right over there, talking to Caldoric again.” Pinkie pointed off to another area in the ballroom, where the two were indeed speaking about something. As Pinkie and Jack watched, they saw Screwball pass off something small and unidentifiable to Caldoric, who took it solemnly and stuck it in a pocket with a nod before the two of them split. “Huh, wonder what that was about… eh, whatever. Alright, you go swing by the stage and let everypony know we’re having a thing here shortly, and I'll get Caldoric, Discord, and Screwball. Sound good?”
“Technically a #21 like this is best done outdoors, but I’ve gotcha,” said Jack before heading up towards the DJ.
Meanwhile, Pinkie saluted him as he left, then caught up with Screwball and had her pass the message along to her father. That taken care of, she went after Caldoric, who was now looking around somewhat suspiciously while stuffing paper napkins up his tattered right sleeve.
~~~~
“Hiya, Caldoric!” Pinkie said, easily sliding up next to him as he tried to make his way through the throng of partying Ponies. Her sudden arrival caused him to jump a little, but he quickly recomposed himself.
“Ah, yeah…” he murmured, slightly distracted. “It’s just you, Pinkie. Y’know, I'm really questioning the wisdom of this whole thing…”
“Aw, what?” Pinkie asked, waving a hoof dismissively. “Pfft, this whole thing’s totally cool, you know. We party like this almost all the time--”
“No, you don't get it…!” Caldoric interjected, before looking around furtively. “Look, c’mere…” He then grabbed Pinkie and dragged her under a nearby refreshment table, where they startled a pair of ponies that had been secretly making out while concealed by the tablecloth. Now that Caldoric was alone with Pinkie, he looked her in the eye with a near-frantic expression on his face.
“This whole thing was a really, really bad idea.” He began, then held up a hand to stop Pinkie's reply before it even started. “It’s a complete security risk, let me tell you. Like, you know who I've seen here? All three free Princesses, every single element bearer, Discord, the remaining social elite and governing nobles of Equestria, and a few others to boot. Oh, and just about every free pony left in this nation. All gathered in one place. You know how bad that is?”
“Uh… I thought it was a good thing?” Pinkie replied. “We needed to make everypony happy…”
“Bullshit…!” Caldoric snapped, through gritted teeth. “I was there when you and Jack came up with this harebrained idea! Seriously, there's already been a breach in security with Shardlings impersonating royal guards, resulting in the death of several ponies: you think they’d give up the ripe opportunity to take out almost all their opposition in one fell swoop? Because that’s what you’ve done here with this party! You’ve practically just served up the entirety of your world’s last hope on a silver platter and rang the dinner bell! All it takes is one Shardling with a well-placed bomb, and goodbye free Equestria!”
Pinkie tittered nervously, awkwardly tapping her forehooves together, before she replied. “Can't, uh… can't you just, like, be happy that we’re trying to do something nice for you?” She wondered aloud, her tone nervous yet hopeful. “I mean, we just wanna help! You could at least smile, laugh, or try to enjoy yourself…!”
“Enjoy myself?” Caldoric asked, softly. His tone had gone dangerously flat, his eyebrows knit tightly together. “Enjoy myself? At a time like this? Oh, gods, I can't believe you’re this-- grrrrrah!” His words cut off in a growl of frustration and rage just before his whole body tensed, causing the now flat-maned Pinkie to instinctively recoil.
Before they could continue, Jack’s voice sounded over the PA system. “Hello everypony, hope you’re all enjoying yourselves. Who am I kidding? Pinkie had a hoof in it, of course you are.”
~~~~
Jack waited half a moment for the chuckles that his last comment had generated to die down before continuing. “Anyway, this party is to celebrate our greatest victory over King Sombrero and Queen Sissylis to date, as well as determining an easy and effective way of releasing the Shardling from their evil mind control. So let’s hear it for the heroes of the hour, Caldoric, and me! I don’t care if it’s bragging, the soundwaves were my idea.”
Jack’s words were abruptly cut off by a cry of outrage from somewhere in the party, accompanied by startled Pony noises and the sound of an entire refreshments table being violently overturned. All eyes turned to see Caldoric in the center of it all, giving a cowering Pinkie a look that, if they could kill, would've vaporized half the castle behind her, and maybe scorched a bit of countryside beyond that. Understandably, Vinyl turned down the music that had been playing at that point.
“Look,” he practically shouted at her, “I’ve got far more important things to do than stick around at another one of your stupid-ass parties!” Caldoric then began storming off though the flabbergasted crowd towards the door.
“B-but… don't you like parties?” Pinkie asked desperately, scrambling after him with her mane looking eerily flatter than normal. “I tried to make this the best it could be, just for you…!”
“I'm not a social person, and it's a party: ergo, I have no room to judge on the matter either way.” Caldoric snapped. “Yeah, I know they're your specialty, but you can't just go having one at the drop of a hat! It's immature, and you can't live like that!”
“Yeah you can!” Pinkie argued. “I do parties for ponies all the time, and everypony loves it!”
“Ok, let me rephrase. You can't live like that if you want to be considered a responsible adult: teenagers and eccentric iconic billionaire figures do it, back where I'm from, but they're all completely immature and only do it to be popular. So grow the fuck up!!”
“Why do you have to be so mean?!” Pinkie demanded, still tailing Caldoric through the shocked crowd as parents belatedly began covering their childrens’ sensitive ears. “Can't you just take time to relax while there’s the opportunity to?”
“Pinkie!” Caldoric shouted, rounding on her in the doorway. “If you continue following me, violence will most likely ensue, now get lost: I've got important adult shit to do, like get that portal working again! You can just keep on partying like there’s no tomorrow, like you do best, and who knows? Maybe there actually won’t be!”
“Caldoric!” Celestia shouted from across the room. “That is enough! You need to stand down right now, and--”
“Fuck off, Sunbutt! You’ve got no room to talk!” Caldoric interjected, swinging an arm wide in a dramatic gesture as the crowd gasped. He then uttered a very uncouth comment about the precise whereabouts of her head and the width of her royal backside. This was followed by a sharp arc of green energy that snapped between his outstretched right arm and his phone, which had been plugged into Vinyl’s sound system. The smaller device leapt through the air like a salmon, landing in his hand even as he flinched.
Taking advantage of the utter shock of everyone in the room, Caldoric quickly made his exit while clutching his forearm. He was swiftly followed by Pinkie, still determined to salvage the situation.
“Just a minute!” came Jack’s voice, booming over the crowd.
“Caldoric, return at once!” Luna called out as well, letting loose at an identical volume, before turning to Jack for a moment. “I shall have to ask thee how thou utilized our Royal Canterlot Voice, but not at this moment.” She told him, in a more normal volume.
“Spent time in the navy, but that’s nothing compared to the Bosun,” Jack said before he started to walk towards where Caldoric had gone in the hall outside, raising his voice once more, though not quite as high as before. “This party is a celebration for the first ray of hope these ponies have seen since this goddamned war started, and you have the unmitigated gall to insult it? Pinkie and I worked hard on this in an, obviously unappreciated, attempt to raise your standing with the Toa. As for the safety of the princesses, forgive me if I feel that 7 Toa, a Kamen Rider, and Shardling-shattering sonic emitters scattered at strategic yet unobtrusive points around the room would make for sufficient security, not including the guards at every entrance. I didn’t want to have to do this, but you have left me no choice.” He pulled a yellow work glove from his pocket, and smacked Caldoric’s face with it, “I challenge you, to a duel!”
Caldoric, who had been effectively rooted to the spot beforehand by way of Pinkie clinging onto his leg like a small child, took a deep breath, and let out a long, low sigh. As he turned, Jack noted faint wisps of smoke trailing off of Caldoric at various points, and it may have been a trick of the light, but his skin also seemed a bit greyer than it had been previously.
“A duel…?” He asked, a dangerous yet interested look in his eye. “Perhaps. What are the stakes to be, assuming I accept?”
“You win, you get carte-blanche right to refuse any invitation to a Pinkie Party,” said Jack, “but if I win, you have to attend any and every Pinkie Party that’s either in reasonable travel distance or that you’ve been specifically invited to for the next year, as well as give Pinkie and I a public apology for your behavior.”
“And the challenge itself…?” Caldoric asked. “As many of us as there may be in the Multiverse, ripped from our homes and lives, I'd still rather not rob even one of us of the chance to return to Earth. I may not be useful right now, but I'd still prefer not to kill you.”
“Sporting event chosen by Discord, if you’re not scared of what he might pull out of his hat of course,” Jack replied.
“I want nothing to do with that bastard!” Caldoric shouted abruptly, his defenses immediately raised at the mere mention of the name. He made a vague gesture with his right arm, allowing a few drops of a strange green substance patter onto the ground.
“Fine, Screwball picks the game, satisfied?”
“If thou art to refuse, then thou hast no honor, as per the ancient law.” Luna added, her voice stern.
“Honor has no use in a practical world,” Caldoric replied, turning away again and sticking his hands in his pockets. “It only gets you killed, where pragmatism would save lives. Nonetheless… I guess I'll accept, if only to get you off my back. Not that there will be time for parties, even if you win, Jack: Makuta’s forces come hard and fast, as well you know.”
“Which means the victory celebrations happen that much sooner,” said Jack. “Pohatu, would you do me the honor of being my second?”
“Uh, s-sure…!” The Toa of Stone replied, taken aback.
“Fine,” Caldoric groaned. “Then I'll take Onua.”
“Whoa, Caldoric…” Said Onua, holding up his digging claws. “Don't drag me into this.”
Caldoric gave him a disappointed look, then shrugged. “Tahu, then.” He said at last. “He’s the only other one who understands how much we need to get back to their mission.”
Tahu growled for a second. “Alright, he’s got a point. I’ll do it. But I won't like it.”
“Alright,” Caldoric said, then turned back to Jack and held out a hand. “That arrangement satisfy you, Jack?”
Jack nodded before turning towards Screwball, who was currently munching on some popcorn, “Hope you don’t mind being put on the spot like this.”
Screwball swallowed sharply, sighed, then nodded. “Oh, it’s no --urp…!-- no problem, Jack. Believe me, I've got some ideas that you’ll find extremely fun…! Now, you two gonna shake on this?”
Jack held out his hand. “Last chance to back out.”
Caldoric snorted in amusement, before firmly grasping the proffered hand with his own and shaking it. “Believe me, though I'd rather not be doing this, there are some things that just have to be done officially.” He then let go and stuck his hand back in his pocket.
“And there we go!” Said Screwball, wrapping a foreleg around Pinkie, who perked up slightly. “So, when are we doing this, and where? Any preferences?”
“Nowhere too disruptive,” Luna supplied, “but otherwise, anywhere that suits the challenge itself. As for the time…” She then turned to Jack and raised an eyebrow.
“We can make it part of festivities,” said Jack, “plenty of witnesses, so there's no doubt who won.”
Screwball cackled madly for a couple seconds. “Well then, let’s get started, shall we?” She asked the room at large, before clapping her forehooves together and drawing them apart dramatically. As she did, reality warped and blurred, and suddenly everyone was somewhere else.
Most of those who had been in the hall, as well as those who had still been inside the ballroom trying to enjoy the dying party, were now seated in bleachers that had been shaped around a soccer-sized stone field. Above the field, where all could see, was a large Jumbotron device, with screens that showed Screwball in a booth of sorts, along with two unfamiliar ponies, one of whom was a slightly-chubby Unicorn, while the other was a somewhat nerdy-looking Pegasus.
There was also a secondary set of screens that depicted three very startled figures: the first was a red-scaled teenage Dragon that the Elements of Harmony immediately recognized as Garble, Spike’s rival. The second was Daring Do, famous Equestria-wide for her antics and exploits. The third figure was, quite simply, Derpy.
“Innnnntroducing our judges,” Screwball said, “we have Garble the dragon, from the Dragon Lands; Daring Do~ooo from everypony’s favorite adventure novels; and, last but not least, our own resident mailmare, Miss Derpy Do! No relation to Daring, by the way: I checked that out personally. With me here in the booth today are some of the best commentators far and wide! Allow me to present to you, misters Whirl E. Gig and Nitro Rod!”
As the little ball of chaos introduced the two ponies, a brief snippet of dramatic drum sounds, backed by faint electric guitars, and then the Unicorn began to speak to the crowd, his voice slightly gruff.
“Greetings, Equestria! This first, and probably only, occurrence of the Cosmic Clash is brought to you by pure, unadulterated Chaos! Chaos, which lets anything and anypony be whatever they can imagine, whether they like it or not! Pick some up at a convenience store near you!”
The Jumbotron displayed an image of two metal doors slamming closed dramatically over the pony’s visage, before reopening onto an image of stars.
“Space.” Said a disembodied voice, who it was quickly revealed to belong to the Pegasus. “Some might call it the Final Frontier. It's a very big place to be, well, big in. Normally you’d think of stars, planets, moons, and other such things when you hear the word, but it’s so much more than that.” Images of said celestial bodies panned across the screen, as well as others he hadn't mentioned.
“So very, very much more. One cannot help but wonder if there’s life beyond the thin envelope of oxygen that surrounds our world. And, as has been made quite apparent, there is.” Cue a video smash-cut to images of Caldoric, Jack, and the Toa Mata, as well as the Spartans and Space Marine that had visited previously, and the audience ooh’d and ahh’d in all the right places. The screens then focused on Caldoric and Jack in particular. “Some of them even possess the ability to manipulate space, or certain aspects thereof.”
“Well, some of them do,” the Unicorn cut in, “but some of them appear to be all talk and no show, like this guy, Caldoric, who claims to be a Toa of Space.” The cameras briefly focused on Caldoric in both human and Toa forms, before changing to show Jack both in and out of his Kamen Rider outfit.
“As opposed to Jack here, AKA Kamen Rider Fourze, who actually seems to do stuff with his powers.” The Pegasus replied, before the Jumbotron then returned to showing their faces in the booth.
“He’s Whirl E.Gig,” said the Unicorn, gesturing to his Pegasus companion, and then to himself, “and I'm Nitro Rod.”
“And it’s our job here,” Whirligig continued, “to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, so that we can give you an accurate description of why and how one of them will win… The Cosmic Clash!”
The Jumbotron did the clashing doors thing again, and then opened up and began playing a combination of still images and video clips related to Jack and his suit. Some were of him in actual action, including him in the process of turning on his driver, while others were of another, unfamiliar human teen of East-Asian origin doing similar things.
“First up,” Whirl E Gig began, “we have the challenger in this duel of honor. Jack Princeton, current wielder of the Fourze Driver belt, and a visiting Displaced from another Reality. With the Driver, he is able to transform himself into a form of legendary hero called a Kamen Rider. Specifically, Kamen Rider Fourze, who uses items called ‘Astroswitches’ to boost and supplement his abilities both in and out of combat. Each one represents a specific scientific concept, law, or field of study.”
“Wait, Forza?” Nitro Rod asked incredulously, backpedaling a bit. “Isn't that the name of that one wagon-racing game we played a while back? Heh, if I remember correctly, you lost to a little colt, Whirl…!”
“No, it’s not like Forza Wagonsport 5,” Whirl replied, his tone a bit clipped. “It’s Four-Zeh, like four-zero. The original Fourze was designed to celebrate the 40th iteration of the Kamen Rider story franchise, as well as the 50th anniversary of their race's first successful space-flight.”
This drew gasps from the crowd, and those with a trained eye could find Twilight suddenly busy scribbling down notes on multiple scrolls and pads of paper at once. Of course, Lyra had her beat for time, having already done something similar when the commentators started talking.
“You heard right, folks,” Nitro Rod said, gathering everypony’s attention, “though they normally can't fly or use magic in any way, they’ve actually managed to get themselves off the surface of their world. How, you ask? Using freakin’ rockets, that’s how! That’s the only way to really do it, and that’s coming from me, a Unicorn!”
“Nitro’s obsession with rockets and explosions aside,” Whirl continued, “those of you familiar with a group of comic book characters known as the ‘Power Ponies’ might find some aspects if Fourze quite familiar. By day, the original Fourze (whose real name was Gentaro Kisaragi,) would go to school like other young adults his age, though he styled himself to be a bit of a ‘bad colt’. He was determined to make friends with everypony in his school, no matter who they were. During his time off, however--”
“Or sometimes even during school hours!” Nitro added, helpfully.
“--He would fight off monsters known as Zodiarts, using the powers of the Driver and the 40 different Astroswitches that fit within it to overpower them and rescue the folks they were possessing.”
“Wait wait,” Nitro said, “possessing? Like, how some of the ponies here were mind-controlled and turned into Shardlings?”
“More like having their desires twisted into their worst possible form and subsequently taking over, while having their morals eroded,” Whirl clarified. “And it was all through the use of a second set of switches which, while similar to the Astroswitches, functioned in an entirely different manner. These turned the unfortunately deluded user into monstrous nightmare versions of specific constellations from their homeworld.”
“Eh, enough about that whole ‘monster-of-the-week’ nonsense,” Nitro said, “let’s get to ‘is powers and stuff! See, each of these switches he’s got will fit into one of four slots on the Driver, each corresponding to one of his arms or legs. And they run the whole gamut of abilities that they grant him.”
There was a visual collage of some of the various additions that the Original Fourze possessed during the show.
“Right,” Whirl agreed, “for his right arm alone, he has a rocket, a ‘magic hand,’ and electrical sword, a morningstar flail, a glorified flashlight, a flamethrower, a scoop, a North-aligned monopolar magnet, a set of claws, and another, special sword that looks like an old-style rocket.”
“Woah!” Nitro exclaimed, shocked. “That’s a lotta combat power. I wouldn't mind having a ‘magic hoof’ of my own, though, if you know what I mean…!”
“Nitro, no, we have foals in the audience!” Whirl interjected, trying to drown out Nitro’s mad cackling. “besides, it still took the original Fourze almost an entire year to unlock all forty of them, as well as some of the special ones. And that’s just the start of his abilities! When the Driver is active, the suit itself allows the wearer to breath in space, as well as accentuating their physical strength, speed, and durability.”
“So, the user can punch and kick harder, jump higher, run faster, and… can they fly?”
“Well, there is a minor jetpack that allows for hovering and short bursts of controlled movement, but for the most part the Rocket switch is the main mode of air transport, as well as providing one heck of a punch. But that’s not even the best part. When the user has any number of the switches active, they can crank the activation lever on the side to unleash a whole new level of hurt on whomever they're facing.”
“Oh, so you're saying it’s like a slot machine of pain, where every combo is a jackpot of misery?” Nitro asked, chuckling. “Wow, combine that thing with my gambling addiction, and I could take over just about anywhere I wanted!”
There were several awkward laughs from the crowd at the comment.
“I think that was a little too soon, Nitro,” Whirl said, nudging his companion. “Especially given the current situation of this particular city. Anyway, this special ability is called a Limit Break, and serves as a sort of ‘final smash’ that can be used to put the average Zodiarts out of a fight, after they’ve been sufficiently damaged beforehand. Of course, there are other special abilities that this Driver can grant its user; with the right switches, the user can achieve powerful new ‘states’ of being that drastically boost their combat capabilities.”
The Jumbotron's screens changed to show the various states that the Fourze suit could achieve, then focused on the first one in the series and began displaying said state in various action poses.
“First up is Switch number ten, the Elek Switch, which sends the user into what’s known as ‘Elek States’. When activated, it turns almost the entirety of Fourze’s outfit a gold-chrome color, and grants the user electrically-themed attacks, as well as resistance to any electricity thrown his way. The sword he wields in this State, called ‘Billy the rod,’ is--”
“Hah!” Nitro exclaimed, then clamped a hoof over his snout as Whirl gave him a dirty look.
“...anyway, his sword is capable of three different kinds of ranged attacks, dependant on which of the three ports the attached plug is inserted into. And they only get stronger when the Elek Switch itself is inserted into the base of the sword’s pommel, in conjunction with activating a Limit Break.”
“Second off,” said Nitro, as the Jumbotron focused on the second state change, “we have switch number twenty, the Fire Switch, which allows the user to enter ‘Fire States’. This gives the user some amount of flame and heat resistance, in addition to being able to both absorb and dispense flames from his pocket-sized flamethrower.”
“It’s called the ‘Hee-Hackgun,’ Nitro,” Whirl added, as his companion giggled at the name. “And in any case, that’s just in one of its two modes. When compressed into its single-piece fire extinguisher mode, it’s capable of putting out wild flames via foam and/or massive sprays of water.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty awesome, I'll have to admit.” Nitro stated. “And Jack’s definitely gonna need that Switch for the first trial if he wants to have any hope of--” Whirl nudged him sharply, cutting him off.
“Careful, Nitro! You don't want to spoil things for the audience, do you?” Whirl asked, then turned back to the camera. “We’re pretty certain that Jack hasn't gotten access to any other States beyond that one, so we’ll just give a brief overview of the other two normal States. Switches thirty and thirty-one are the two Magnet Switches which, when used together, activate ‘Magnet States’ and give Fourze magnetic powers, as well as twin shoulder-mounted railguns.”
“And if you thought that was freakin’ sweet, like I do,” Nitro added, “then you'll love the next one: number forty activates his Cosmic States, putting him into his second-strongest form ever, and giving him access to the powers of all the other switches at once! This is the one he uses to take down the twelve Horoscopes, which are like super-Zodiarts, and were secretly behind everything in the original story.”
“And while Jack’s been having his own problems with Zodiarts in his copy of Equestria,” Whirl continued, “there’s no guarantee that things’ll go down the same way there. Even if they did, Jack seems chill enough to just sort of let things play out naturally before interfering, however that happens to be.”
“Which brings us to our second contestant!” Screwball interjected, mashing a button on a remote as she popped up between the two analysts. As she did, the screens once more displayed the graphic of two metal doors momentarily slamming together. When they opened again, the Jumbotron was showing images of Caldoric in three different states. Two of them were his human and Toa forms, while the third was something halfway in between that looked like it should've been slightly painful for him.
“Alright, now it’s time for Caldoric, I guess,” Whirl admitted, then cleared his throat. “Ahem. Like Jack, Caldoric is a Human from the planet Earth, though he’s from a different time. Or, so he says. Also like Jack, he found himself sent off from his world of origin, and waking up somewhere strange as someone -- or something -- new.”
“Oh, like after you have a party in college and suddenly wake up with no idea what happened the night before?” Nitro asked. “Man, that’s always fun.”
“Nitro, that’s called getting blackout drunk,” Whirl replied, “that’s not healthy. Anyway, Caldoric had one thing different than just about every other Displaced that he's met so far: he showed up not here in Equestria, but on the tropical island of Mata Nui, set in another world beyond our own. There, he met his six childhood idols: the Toa Mata.”
“Enough talkin’ about how he got here, let’s talk about his powers and stuff!” Nitro demanded. “What're we supposed to expect him to pull in this challenge?”
“Well, Nitro, that’s just it: to figure that out, we’re going to have to deconstruct the exact pieces that Caldoric put into the character he’s now become.” Whirl replied. “Some of us have already seen some of what a Toa can do, but let’s go over that portion first, to make sure we cover all the bases.”
“Well, what do we know, then?” Nitro asked. “The Toa are biomechanical warriors with the ability to channel a specific elemental power, and their armor is specifically colored to match. They can control, create, absorb and freely manipulate their element at will, often to great effect when weaponized.”
“Indeed, and their powers only get stronger when they're used together.” Whirl added. “While Kopaka might be able to literally freeze a snowy avalanche in its tracks, or Tahu could turn an entire beach to glass with a single blow, if Lewa and Gali combined their powers, they could create a thunderstorm the size of a hurricane. And with Kopaka in the mix, it could become a full-blown blizzard!”
“Hah, blown.” Nitro chuckled, as cries of shock and disbelief could be heard from the crowd, particularly from many Pegasus members of the audience. “That’s right, folks, these heroes are basically living incarnations of their elements. And though they may not seem like much to look at individually, each of them is more than capable of handling themselves in battle, whatever the odds. Their only limit when it comes to using their powers is their imagination, and they've got more than a few tricks up their sleeves.”
“And that’s about it for the Toa!” Whirl said, eager to move things along. “Now we get to the second part of Caldoric's character.”
“Yeah, the space part…!” Nitro clarified. “This oughta be good.”
“Indeed it is, Nitro.” Whirl agreed. “In a story known as “Homestuck,” which is purportedly about a game that a young boy and his friends play together, said game is revealed to both be the cause of their world’s apocalypse, and the only hope the kids have of saving it.”
“Wait, boy? Kids? Whaddaya mean by that, Whirl?” Nitro asked.
“Those are human terms, Nitro. They call their young ‘kids’ or ‘children’ intermittently. Males are boys, females are girls.” Whirl explained. “As I was saying, after these plucky youngsters managed to escape the barrage of meteors that had begun assaulting their world, they found themselves in another realm, each saddled with a quest of sorts, as well as a type of mythological role known as a ‘Classpect’. This determined what powers they would be able to unlock down the road, and how they would be able to use them.”
“The heck’s a classpect?” Nitro asked. “Y'know, for those of us who don't speak geek.”
“An excellent question, Nitro, and one I was about to answer. A classpect was a combination of a Class, obviously, and an Aspect. There were 12-14 Classes, (depending on the session,) which included titles such as Knight, Heir, and Prince, while the 12 Aspects, similar to the Toa's Elements, included such things as Hope, Rage, Time, Doom, and most importantly, Space. Many details about how most of the Classes and Aspects worked were never covered by the story’s author, though it has been implied that many of those (if not all,) are quite symbolic in nature, and open to interpretation, while others were quite straightforward.”
“Right, like Time. It’s pretty easy to guess what that one involves: hopping back and forth across the timelines, and making sure everything goes the way it's supposed to.” Nitro chuckled there. “Just imagine, loopin’ time to watch somepony eat dirt over and over and over again…! But, on the other hoof, who would've guessed that Princes and Bards would be the two most destructive classes in the game? Or that Heart, as an Aspect, could pertain to souls as well as love, or sense of self? Heh, I guess with how you choose to think about that kind of stuff, perception really is reality…!”
“Which is a great segue into our discussion of the classpect Caldoric claims to be: a Knight of Space. This particular combination, conventionally thought to be functionally impossible by most Homestuck fans, is a definitive powerhouse if actually realized. Knight-class players are usually found in sessions with very little of their natural element: for example, with the main characters of Homestuck, one of them was a Knight of Time, and took part in a session that lasted less than 24 hours. Another person they met along the way was a Knight of Blood, from a much longer session with very little unity between its players. Another session, which served as a predecessor to the one with the Knight of Blood, had a player who was a Knight of Mind, and most of the players there were kind of idiots.”
“So, Knight players are basically there to protect what little of their Aspect there is, using what they have to make even more, if they know what they're doing.” Nitro added. “They also have a habit of weaponizing their aspect to great effect. Another trait that Knights possess, however, is that they also tend to hide their true selves behind ‘masks’ that they present to those around them. These masks can be literal, psychological, or even metaphorical. Not to mention the fact that they tend to have problems dealing with multiple alternate selves.”
“That's right, Nitro. And though we’ve yet to see this latter issue regarding multiple ‘selves,’ we definitely have seen Caldoric using a handful of different masks so far: whether it be actual Kanohi masks, changing between his Toa and Human forms, being cagy with what information he knows about the Matoran Universe, or just his general shifts in attitude when talking to different folks, he’s got this one in spades.” Whirl commented.
“Then again, when it comes to talking with ponies, he’s definitely got room to grow as a decent conversationalist.” Nitro added, drawing several chuckles.
“Which brings us to his Aspect,” Whirl continued. “Space. Typically, those bound to the aspect of Space are more concerned with the big picture, as the name would suggest. For the most part, they tend to be patient, often excelling at the art of waiting to see what comes next, and are usually inclined to take things at face value. Of course, that isn't to say that they're a bunch of easy targets, or remotely willing to let injustices go unpunished -- instead, they tend choose their battles wisely, operating under the theory that, sometimes, you have to let something be completely destroyed before it can begin to be fixed.”
"Because of this, they tend to become great innovators, usually focused on creating stuff and redeeming folks that others have just plain given up on savin’.” Nitro added. “Quite frequently, you’ll find one of 'em taking a bunch of stuff left lying about, adding in some improvisation and a few hare-brained ideas, and combining it all on the fly to make something new, fresh, and sometimes even beautiful. Or unexpectedly useful, let alone downright deadly.”
“That’s right, Nitro,” Whirl agreed. “For the Space-bound, the journey is just as important, if not even moreso, than their eventual destination; the way they go about interacting with or doing something is as important as the very thing they're doing. When they're at their best, they can be steady, impartial, and surprisingly creative. But, catch them at their worst, and you’re liable to find that they can be detached, apathetic, and very vague.”
“Heh, that last part sounds a lot like Caldoric, am I right?” Nitro asked. “But that still doesn't exactly answer the question of what he can do, now, does it?”
“No, but we’ll be getting there in a second,” Whirl replied. “See, the Aspect of Space grants those bound to it the ability to, at the very least, manipulate the size and speed of just about anything in a particular cosmos... assuming they’ve hit what’s known as ‘God Tier’ and unlocked their full power. They can also initiate or change both the rotation and revolution of any object around another. Other Heroes of Space have been seen to teleport themselves and others around at will, stopping a speeding meteor in its tracks, create black holes, shrink or enlarge various objects and people, accelerate objects to near lightspeed almost instantaneously, and even channel the power of something known as the Green Sun.”
“Green Sun? What’s that, like something outta Green Lantern?” Nitro quipped.
“Actually, no, not that anypony here would know what that term means, so… close, but no cigar, my friend. The Green Sun is literally a star, which is green, and fuelled by the mass of two dead universes. Meaning, it’s super freaking massive, exists in a tangled-up knot of unreality situated firmly beyond the physical location of any known dimension, as well as being outside of time as we understand it, and is the end-all-be-all of power sources.”
“...wow, two universes?” Nitro said, at last. “That’s… whoa, that’s depressing. Also, that’s a lotta fire in one place, too.”
“Yes it is,” Whirl agreed. “But there’s more. The thing with the Space aspect is, it’s one of the less explained ones from Homestuck, though there are some specific pieces of information regarding the Aspect that are most definitely set in stone. Most prominent of these is the fact that the Space player, or players, in any given session, were responsible for the creation and well-being of the eventual prize to be earned by all the game’s players: a new universe, over which successful players were given free reign upon the game’s completion. And it is with this information that we begin our brief dive into the pool of speculation.
“It is said by some that a Space player’s realm of influence lies in creation, to be taken however one chooses to interpret the word. Whether that be in literal terms, inferring that it might reference creativity, or instead along more religious terms, with creation referring to reality itself, it’s a true powerhouse of an Aspect. How one perceives the term, and just about everything else, influences their powers, and vice-versa. For them, perception is literally reality.”
“So they’re literally reality warpers once they hit God Tier, yeah?” Nitro asked, almost in disbelief. “Wow, now that’s an overpowered Aspect…”
“And yet it gets worse. When you combine the reality-straining possibilities of the Space Aspect with the fighting and improvisational skills of the Knight Class, you’ve got something completely and almost brokenly powerful: in essence, a Knight of Space is a person who can effectively wield the laws of physics at a whim, if they so choose to interpret things as such. With a few restrictions, of course. And that, combined with the elemental affiliation of a Toa, and it's a wonder he hasn't destroyed everything yet.”
“Wait, doesn't he keep talking about how his powers supposedly aren't working properly, if at all…?” Nitro asked. “I seem to remember that being an issue he’s brought up.”
“We’re not sure what’s going on with that at the moment,” Whirl replied, “and while I'd love to debate theories on that ‘till Tartarus freezes over, (personally, I think it's because he hasn't actually hit God Tier yet,) our analysis time is just about up, so we gotta wrap this quick.”
“Alrighty then, fillies and gentlecolts, you heard the stallion!” Nitro stated, turning to the camera and addressing the crowd. “It all comes down to this: two alien entities, both boasting control over what might be the very fundamental forces of reality itself, set to engage in some of the most extreme sporting events you’ll probably ever see! But who’ll be victorious, and who’ll sink into defeat? Place your bets if you wish, because the pressure's never been stronger, and the heat’s never been higher, than they’ll be here in the first, and probably only, Cosmic Clash! And now, we go to our contestants, already set at the starting line of their first test: Extreme Lavaboarding! So get hyped, because now it’s time… for a ♪Death Battllllllllllllle~!♪”
“Nitro…!”
“What?”
“...Too soon, man.”
~~~~
Elsewhere, in a warm and confined underground chamber…
“Argh, damnit, when are we gonna start…?!” Caldoric demanded, stopping his pacing once again to lean against one of the walls of the chamber he and Jack were now in. They’d been waiting for a while now, hearing occasional loud voices from somewhere distant, accompanied by reactions from a crowd of presently unknown size and location.
“Looks like Pinkie roped in some commentators,” said Jack, while swapping Switches in his Driver, looking for a good combination. “My guess is that we’ll be going after we’re introduced.”
“Yeah, but ‘going’ where? There’s no doors here…!” Caldoric protested. “We’re stuck in an underground pocket of air.”
“That’s where you're wrong,” said Screwball, popping out from behind Jack. “We were just setting up a few things before we could start. And now, I'm here for the last of it…!” She beamed, about as innocently as the offspring of Chaos itself could ever hope to look.
Jack grinned, “I knew having you pick the event would make things fun. So, what’s the challenge?”
Screwball's grin widened even further, threatening to spread all the way around her head and split it in two. “Well,” she said at last, once she'd stopped imitating the Cheshire cat, “it’s a two-parter. You're gonna love the first part, too, I'm sure of it: Lavaboarding down the side of the mountain to where the second challenge will be revealed!”
“Uh, in case you’ve forgotten, I'm not lava-proof…!” Caldoric butted in, concern expressed all over his body. He was, indeed, still human, and sweating profusely in the heat.
“Oh, not to worry, I got that taken care of!” Screwball replied, before doing a flip and striking a despise on the landing, which resulted somehow in her pointing a foreleg at Caldoric. With a flash of light, Caldoric was once more in the form Jack had first been introduced to: a Toa, with monochromatic armor.
“Any questions, before I kick things off…?” Screwball asked, looking at them both.
“You said first part, how many segments will this have?” Asked Jack, as he finalized his selection and slapped his Driver across his waist.
“Just two. Gotta keep this simple, so we can get back to some semblance of normalcy,” Screwball replied, almost disinterestedly. Now, you got any questions, Caldoric?”
“Even as a Toa, I'm not immune to lava,” Caldoric replied, “and I'd rather not have either of us falling in and dying…”
“Not to worry! I have that covered too. See these amulets?” Screwball asked, and held out two amulets. “These'll protect you from the heat, and if you manage to fall off your board, it’ll set you back on it unharmed. It'll only do that three times, though, before it’ll just disqualify you from this part of the challenge. Speaking of which…”
Screwball slammed a hindleg against the floor of the chamber, causing a small quake, and then two large metal objects pushed up through the stone, like plants on fast-forward. They were both identical in shape and size, though colored to match the individual color schemes of the two contestants. They were shaped roughly like Surfboards, but with a thicker, slightly domed bottom, perhaps meant to keep themselves and their riders afloat.
“There. Those’re your boards, guys. And now, for the starting line…!” Screwball reared up on her hind legs, clapped her forehooves together, then spread them towards one wall of the chamber. As she did, the wall pushed back and merged with a previously undisclosed tunnel beyond it, which had a flow of molten magma cruising along its bottom level at a pretty decent clip. The chamber became noticeably warmer and brighter as the bubbling liquid was revealed.
Screwball dropped back to all fours, turned back to her two-man captive audience with a smile. “So,” she began, “shall we begin?” She then flicked a foreleg at a point in the air, causing a small floating contraption to appear there. It turned this way and that, before focusing its “attention” on Jack, Screwball, and Caldoric. As it did, a small red light began to blink on and off, and Screwball turned to address it.
“Greetings once again, audience! Our contestants are now ready to get this ball rolling, and settle their agreement.” Screwball intoned dramatically. “If Jack wins this competition, then Caldoric has to attend every party Pinkie throws that he could possibly attend, especially those he’s directly invited to. And, knowing Pinkie, that’s probably gonna be all of them.” Screwball then winked. “He’ll also have to apologize to her and Jack for bringing down the party earlier, in public. However, if Caldoric wins, then he is granted the right to refrain from attending any party Pinkie throws, at his discretion.”
Screwball then turned to Jack and Caldoric. “Now, we got three judges out there, who’ll be watching you for skill and style, among other things. You wanna rack up points, in addition to getting down first. Bonus points for not using all your ‘get-out-of-lava’ saves, too. There will be obstacles to avoid, jumps to land, and sometimes even split paths and shortcuts! Not to mention the occasional Lava Monster… but that’s to be worried about when you get there. As for rules, anything short of dismemberment, disembowelment, attempted murder, arson, jaywalking, and other such injurious acts are perfectly acceptable. Ready?”
“2 seconds,” said Jack as he flipped the toggles on his Driver.
3!
2!
1!
“Henshin!” Said Jack, as he was encased in his armor before shooting his arms in the air shouting, “Uchu Kita!!! Okay I’m ready now.”
“I'm ready as well…” Caldoric agreed, somewhat less confidently. “At least, as much as I'll ever be…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaalrighty then!” Screwball exclaimed, jumping into the air and doing a flip. “Now, on your marks…!” She then gestured for them to step up to the ledge by the magma flow. They both did so, with Caldoric muttering something about mountain boarding, and awaited further orders.
“Geeeeeet set…!”
The two contestants placed their boards on the edge of the stone platform, one foot holding the curved tails of their boards against the ground as the other rested on the flat surface. There was a pause as Screwball looked at Caldoric a bit funny.
“What?” He asked with a shrug. “I ride goofy-footed. So what?”
Screwball gave the equine equivalent of a shrug, then smiled. “Ok, then, boys…! GO!”
With that, they both shoved off into the flow of molten stone, skimming swiftly across the fast-moving magma. There was only a few seconds of peaceful surfing before the magma beneath them went over a steeper slope, and they both began what would have been, for anyone else, a fight for their lives. And then the Eurobeat music kicked in, audible to them both, as the first true obstacles made themselves apparent: floating “stepping stones” strewn across a swath of the path, each one tall enough to flip either contestant off their board if collided with.
Caldoric immediately leaned to one side, shooting off towards the edge of the flow, both for a better angle on the approaching problem, and to lend himself space from any tricks Jack might try to pull.
Jack on the other hand went straight down the middle, using one of the rocks as a ramp to leap up about halfway through the field, and on a crash course for another rock. Instead of trying to evade, he placed his board under one arm and used the other to activate one of his Switches.
Hopping On!
A large pink pogo-stick appeared on his leg, which he used to bounce off the rock and over the rest of them, landing on his board with a bit of a wobble, Switch off of course.
“Oh, come on, what?!” Caldoric exclaimed, still weaving his way between stones, before deciding to make a risky move of his own. He began crouching and quickly straightening in rapid succession, causing his board to bob up and down more and more, until he had enough displacement going to hop his board up onto the next stone, scraping across its surface, before bunny-hopping to the next, and the next. By taking this more direct route, he managed to pick up a bit of speed, such that he nearly fell off his board as it hit the fast-moving magma beyond the stones. Caldoric managed to stay upright, however, and caught up to Jack once more in the process.
“That… that was way too dangerous…!” He gasped, looking over at Jack, before quickly straightening up and trying to recompose himself. “I mean, uh… that was totally child's play. Too easy. Three outta five hats.”
“Practice makes perfect,” said Jack as they approached the next section, which involved the lava stream corkscrewing around the edge of the tunnel several times. “Speed or skipping are the only options here I think.”
“Either way,” Caldoric replied, leaning forward on his board, “whatever works goes. See ya at the finish…!” With that, he pulled ahead of Jack and into the new obstacle. As he did, he felt gravity go weird, shifting with the magma to allow for its otherwise bizarre flow up the walls and across the ceiling.
Whilst Caldoric made his way through, he drew his sword and skated close to one edge of the flow, dragging the blade across the stone and throwing up an impressive array of sparks in his wake. This continued for several loops, before he noted a shift in the magma’s flow up ahead.
“Oh, no fair…!” He murmured, noting the transition from corkscrew to a sweeping half-pipe zig-zag.
Meanwhile, Jack dropped low on his board, lessening wind resistance and increasing his speed, and stuck to the middle, one hand close to his Driver and ready to activate a Switch. When he reached the zig-zag, he hit it.
Winch On!
As a tow-hook and spool of industrial-grade wire appeared on his left arm, he hit the edge of one of the zags, using it as a ramp. However, once he got too far from the gravity-shenanigans, he started falling towards the actual ground, until he launched the hook, snagging the edge of the next zig, pulling himself back on course.
Caldoric was massively steamed as Jack speed past him and started with a series of well-timed Spiderman-esque maneuvering with his Winch module. As the self-proclaimed Toa came to the first turn, he gave a roar of anger and swung his back leg to one side. This caused the tail end of his board to swing wide, which resulted in him unsteadily grinding along the outer curve of the turn, throwing up even more sparks and a small wave of magma. To gain speed, he too leaned in close to his board on the straightaway, then drew his bruteshot and began firing into the molten flow behind himself.
The explosions in his wake served to propel him faster, though he had no way of catching up to Jack at the time. Not until the next interlude between obstacles, that is. Nonetheless, he and Jack both successfully made it through.
The next obstacle, as it so happened, was a wide field of magma, interrupted by spouts of molten rock jetting into the chamber from a multitude of openings in the now-distant walls and ceiling, meaning there was no immediately clear path to be seen: they’d have to dodge and weave around untold blind corners in this new maze, and hope they didn't faceplant into a magma shower by accident.
Jack spun his board sideways in a braking maneuver, obviously intending to take the methodical approach with this labyrinth. Caldoric, however, had no such reservations: Jack noted, as his competitor sped almost recklessly by, that the mask on his face had changed to the triple-lensed Mask of X-Ray Vision he’d used before. Caldoric slowed slightly before entering the pyroclastic labyrinth, then hung a sharp right beyond a lavafall and was lost to Jack’s sight.
“First one to hit a dead end loses then,” said Jack, before bending down, taking a good look at the flow of the lava. “Let’s see… the lava would probably flow the fasted on an unobstructed path, which shouldn’t have any dead ends, so… this way.” Jack sped up a bit before traveling down a different route. Through careful planning, and a bit of luck, he finally made it to an exit in the maze, and could see Caldoric speeding away, slightly singed but apparently unhurt otherwise. As Jack noticed this, there were a handful of explosions in the lava nearby, spraying him with a fair amount of molten rock and knocking him off-balance, into the magma.
As he fell, he felt a strange energy against his chest, like a heat so intense that it seemed cold, then there was a flash of light, and he was back on his board, a few meters beyond where he’d been ambushed. He could just hear Caldoric's voice shouting something about “GTA,” but it was unclear.
“I suppose you were due a break after I showed you up twice,” said Jack before sending his hook out to an outcropping of rock up ahead, using it to shoot forward and recover some lost ground, “but one battle does not a war win.”
Caldoric, who had taken a few of his bruteshot’s RPGs and thrown them behind himself in an attempt to slow up Jack, was now faced with a new problem: the flow of magma before him had acquired a definite edge to it, and the tunnel appeared to make a sharp downward turn: to make it worse, both obstacles were swiftly approaching. This meant only one of a handful of things: a lavafall, or an unexpected sinkhole in the flow’s path. Either it was meant to be followed, or avoided. He took a gamble, swinging wide to the left of the main flow before blasting back across to the right-hand edge just as the molten stone fell away. His board ground horizontally against the wall of the hole as he rode on inertia alone, before rejoining with the magma on the far wall. The tunnel curved once more, bending back under the point where it had first taken its downward shift, then leveled out and continued.
“...that was a bit intense,” Caldoric murmured, taking a second to look back before focusing ahead once more.
Jack took to the right side of the flow, doing almost the same maneuver except using his hook instead of grinding, allowing him to take a slightly shorter route while losing less speed, causing him to catch up to about 3-4 lengths behind.
Caldoric took a quick look behind himself as he heard Jack arrive behind him, and scowled in the Kamen Rider’s general direction. “No you don't…” he muttered, “I’m not letting anyone get the better of me again, even if it means playing dirty.” He then flipped his Bruteshot around and began firing blindly into the magma, both adding extra speed from the recoil and setting up additional obstacles for Jack to avoid.
“Gonna have to get creative,” Jack said to himself as he engaged his 3rd Switch.
Chainsaw On!
A large blue chainsaw appeared on his right leg, which he then stuck partially into the magma to use as a somewhat effective motor. Unfortunately, the evasive maneuvers he had to pull canceled out the slight boost of extra speed he gave him, and he had to pull it out not too long after the fact before it had a chance to melt. “Was gonna use that in case we hit a meteor storm or something, but it’s a good thing I’m a proponent of improvisation.”
Caldoric had no reply as he focused on the path ahead of them. The tunnel widened at a particular point, and once again the flow seemed to come to an abrupt stop, though there was no indication that it would be going through another vertical macaroni bend. As he neared the edge, Caldoric dipped down and pushed on his board with his legs, performing a sort of Ollie as he went over the falls. Whilst still in the air, he grabbed the board, brought it in front of himself as if he were jumping onto a sled in the snow, then slapped it under his feet once again as he made contact with the magma river.
Jack decided that his previous showing was enough to keep him ahead in the points department, and decided to do a lazy slalom down the middle, keeping an eye out in case Screwball decided to pull an ‘Indiana Jones/Daring Do’ and drop the ceiling on their heads.
Ahead of the two competitors, there was an opening in the tunnel that let in greyish light from the outside world, which now seemed eerily bright compared to the reddish glow of the magma they had grown used to. Between them and the exit, however, was a thin forest of stalagmites, low-hanging stalactites, and ground-to-ceiling stone pillars. Jack’s lack of a flashy showing-off on the falls a few seconds allowed him to pull ahead of Caldoric by a noticeable amount as they wound between the pillars. This enraged Caldoric, who quickly drew a strange-looking sword from the thin air behind his back and thumbed a gem in the hilt.
The only warning Jack had was the sound of Caldoric screaming “DOOOOOOOOOOODGE…!” before the young Kamen Rider was harshly body-slammed into by his opponent. This sent Jack careening sideways and towards a stalagmite as Caldoric sped away, having stolen Jack’s angular momentum.
Reacting quickly, Jack activated his final Switch.
Magic Hand, On!
A large pink robotic arm appeared on his right arm, which he used to soften the blow. “Someone doesn’t like losing,” Jack said, before using it to launch himself after his competitor. Unfortunately, Caldoric crossed the line a full second before he could. Jack sighed before shutting off his Switches, “Let’s hope I made up for it with my sick tricks.”
He could see Caldoric drifting his board to a stop just before the lava’s edge and hopping onto dry land, with mixed reactions from the crowd. As the Toa’s feet touched stony soil, the ambient music swapped from one of the several Eurobeat tracks that had been playing to an obscure metal-sounding song Jack was unfamiliar with. However, when the chorus came around, he quickly realized why it had been chosen: it had been meant to reflect Caldoric's insane ploy on the final stretch of magma.
♪I’m a fuel-injected suicide machine…!♪ the lyrics went,
♪On the roads I’m a white-line nightmare fiend!
♪I’m a rocker, I’m a roller,
♪I am the out-off-control-ah,
♪Fuel-injected suicide machine…!♪
The song quickly died out to the sound of unwelcoming cries from the audience.
“Alright, alright, folks,” Screwball's voice called across the stadium Caldoric and Jack now found themselves in. “As you can see, Caldoric has made it through the Lava tunnels first, followed closely by Jack. However, as has been stated, there were also points distributed as the judges saw fit throughout the journey, and they will be revealed at the end of the competition so that they may be added to those earned in this next portion. Now…”
Screwball's visage on the floating Jumbotron appeared to turn and look directly at Jack and Caldoric. “This next part is going to be much easier, but no less complicated. We will finish this event with a sport known among certain circles in Equestria and beyond as ‘Rockball,’ though you two and the Toa Mata may know it better as ‘Koli,’ a favored sport of the Matoran. As you rejoin your teammates and prepare for the match, Nitro and Whirl here will go over the details of the game for the audience. Have fun…!” When she finished, she waved a forehoof at them and turned to her fellow commentators.
“...Well, that appears to be our signal to go,” Caldoric said, turning to Jack. “To be honest, I’m sorry about that last bit, I think I went a bit berserk for a second: it wasn't meant to be anything personal.”
“Fair enough, but if you start yelling ‘Blood for the Blood God’, I’m busting out the Gatling Switch,” Jack chuckled.
Caldoric raised an eyebrow skeptically. “What, and proclaim allegiance to that bastard, Ahriman? Sorry, no, he nearly pancaked my ass last time I met him, all because I took this...” Caldoric then pulled out a large, ornate-looking Warhammer that was almost too big for someone of even his stature. He then stowed it away once more, and shrugged. “Then again, he did play me and a few other Displaced into retrieving it for him, so he had it coming.”
“Unless I’m very much mistaken, Ahriman follows Tzeentch, not Khorne, so you could theoretically collect his skull for the skull throne, but I’m still going to shoot you if you go down that road like the Astares main that I am,” said Jack. Caldoric blinked, and was silent for a second.
“Uh, I don't really follow 40K lore,” the Toa said, cautiously, “but… I’m pretty sure the Ahriman I ran into has achieved full-on Void Dweller status, and has started going all Lord English on helpless Equestrias across the multiverse, razing them beyond recognition. At least, that’s what I gathered from Sebaste… I ain't fighting him again anytime soon: not until I’m at least up to par with the other Toa, in terms of power.”
He then winced and clutched at his right forearm. A few droplets of thick, greenish fluid trickled from beneath the armor and fell from his fingers as he did. “...really gotta get that checked out. Anywho, see you on the field, eh?” With that, he turned and headed off towards a nearby arch labelled “Locker Rooms and Staging Area.”
“I guess so,” Jack said as he de-Henshined and went to his changing room. Waiting for him was someone he wasn’t entirely expecting.
“Hey there, Jack…!” Said Discord, moving swiftly from his position on a nearby bench. In seconds, he had wrapped his long, serpentine body around Jack’s frame, effectively pinning his arms to his sides with gentle pressure. “I wanted to talk to you about something, and now that I’ve got a captive audience, I figured now might be a good time…?” The god of Chaos gave a weak smile, hoping Jack would get the joke.
“Not without the presence of my lawyer,” Jack replied, his grin informing Discord that he did indeed get the joke. The latter’s confidence rose, his smile firming up, before discord disengaged his hold on the young rider and standing up.
“Please, I’m a god of Chaos, I write laws of reality as a Saturday hobby.” He intoned, briefly donning a very serious-looking business suit and holding up his paw, as if swearing an oath. “Mere laws of state are barely anything for me to trouble with in comparison. But we’re getting off the subject. I wanted to, ah… apologize, as it were, for breaking that switch of yours earlier…”
“Pft, I made that thing in 5 seconds while in Toon States, it probably wouldn’t have lasted too long anyway,” Jack said, “it would have taken a lot more to break a proper Switch.”
“But still…!” Discord protested, as Pohatu leaned on a locker off to one side and smirked. “Something like that is important to your development and progression as a hero. Even though it’s not what you’d consider one of your ‘original’ Switches, it’s still symbolic, in its own way. And symbols, as both Caldoric and I know well, hold power. Especially in magically-saturated environments. So, is there anything I can do to, say, fix or replace it…?”
“I can make a proper one reasonably easily, all I need is a blank Switch, which I have several of, something to charge it with, which I don’t have, and the proper equipment, also which I don’t have on me.”
“Oh? Well then, if it was so simple, why didn't you just say so?” Discord quipped, smiling once more, before snapping his fingers. As he did, several pieces of large, complicated, and above all, arcanepunk-looking machinery popped into existence, accompanied by a couple of filing-cabinet-sized supercomputers that looked to be of Human make, as well as a large hamster wheel. In short, the whole ensemble was a near-perfect display of Schizo-tech.
“How’s that for equipment and charging facilities?” Discord asked, playfully. “After all, I couldn't just let something created from such a magnificent act of Chaos to remain in a state of destruction. Even Chaos has rules, you know…”
Jack looked over the machinery, twisting a few knobs, “Looks usable, the settings need to be adjusted, but I expected that.”
“Good to hear!” Discord nearly crowed, then turned to Pohatu. “You there… would you mind hopping in that wheelie-doohickey there and running around for a bit to get things charged up? Your speed would be quite handy.”
Pohatu shrugged. “Alright, if you want. Though, if we’re planning on using this ‘Switch’ of yours in the upcoming challenge, wouldn't Caldoric object? Surely the judges would, at least…” He then clambered into the wheel and started it moving.
“True, but just like with me and Jack, here,” Discord replied, “there’s a score that’s been set between he and I, and that’s something I intend to settle as best I can. It’ll take much more than a fixed tool, though, to regain his trust. The path he walks is a dangerous one, for sure. For the time being, he seems to believe in the power of symbols, and stories, which are all too real here.”
“The power of stories? What do you even mean by that?” Pohatu asked, now moving at a speed that would make an Olympic athlete jealous back on Earth, and still accelerating.
“You know how the Turaga back on your island of Mata Nui would tell stories from time to time? For various purposes?” Discord asked. Pohatu stumbled a bit in his stride, nearly falling, but quickly regained his composure. “Yes, I thought you would. See, stories like those, and others, have specific bits and pieces to them that make them work. The hero always wins, because he's on the side of Goodness and Light, for one. Or, in another example, the main villain usually has a deep, menacing voice to instill fear and obedience in his followers. Things like that are like building blocks, but for ideas and literary devices. They’re known, collectively, as ‘Tropes’. Caldoric, for his part, is well aware of this fact, and at least subconsciously seeks to exploit that knowledge to some extent.”
“But how does that affect us…?” Pohatu wondered aloud, his arms and legs nearly a blur. “I mean, stories are just that: stories. They’re verbally related, or carved in stone to be read later, but they’re nothing physical.”
“If you think that, then you truly misunderstand the power of the mind.” Discord countered. “Knowledge, Wisdom, Belief, Religion… Faith. It is said, somewhere, that knowledge is power,but that is only part of the puzzle. Power is energy, energy is matter, matter has mass, and mass can change time and space. Sometimes drastically. I’ve been around for untold ages, and I’ve seen it all happen time and again.”
“And yet, you’re a god of Chaos... if what you claim is true.” Pohatu replied. “If that is so, then how do you claim to know so much about order and logic?”
Discord gave a hearty chuckle. “Because anyone or anything that stands for a concept or belief usually become fascinated with their perceived equal and opposite. Often morbidly so, even bordering on the suicidal from time to time. This, too, is a Trope, in its own right. And as I said before, symbols hold power. Tropes are symbols, of a sort, that find themselves wedged into, or emerging from, the collective unconscious of a given race, which is why one finds strangely similar ideas cropping up in otherwise separate worlds. Especially ones with magic, or other powerful abilities, wielded by the everyday folk of the land.”
“The Toa themselves can be considered symbols as well, and quite powerful ones at that,” Jack said, as he made a few final adjustments, “how many Matoran have become just that much more… hopeful, since you and the others arrived?”
“Exactly!” Discord said, nodding excitedly.
“Well… almost all of them, to be honest.” Pohatu admitted. “Though their spirits sometimes waver in times of turmoil, like that incident with the Comet balls… we still haven't figured out where Akhmou disappeared to, now that I think of it. That said, whenever we show up, they regain hope, and fight harder than before. I’ve even heard a handful asking themselves ‘what would Pohatu do,’ which is a bit concerning in a way, yet slightly flattering…”
“Indeed,” Discord replied. “They inspire you to greater acts, just as you inspire them. And yet, this also places you in a spotlight, as they hold you up on a pedestal. You have much reason, in this case, to stick to the ‘ways’ of ‘light’, as some might put it, and always do the heroic thing. Caldoric, however, has chosen a different route. A darker one. He’s still a hero, in a way, but one whose path places him in contention with the expectations of those around him. It allows him certain freedoms to achieve what is, in the end, ‘right’, though the ends by no means justify the method in some cases.”
“Doesn’t mean he has to be a jerk while off duty,” Jack said while placing the blank Switch into what looked like, for all intents and purposes, a fountain drink machine jointly designed by Agatha Heterodyne and an Ork Mek Boy while they were higher than the ISS, “I hope you can do the final polishing of the rough edges I intend to lop off while I’m here.”
“I can only promise to try,” Discord answered. “However, perhaps it’s a mask of sorts? After all, are there not precedents for such a thing where you come from?” With that, he whisked himself away, re-emerging from behind a locker while wearing a large black cloak, a hooded bat-like cowl, and black body armor.
“Do you know how I got these scars…?” He growled in a deep and brooding voice, holding one edge of the cape over his face, then paused. “Wait, no, wrong character: I’m the hero they deserve, not the one they need…” Pohatu nearly cracked up laughing.
“I was asking Pohatu actually,” Jack said, “he’s got a much better chance as he obviously hates your plaid and polka dotted guts, good suggestion about the mask though. By the way, Animated Series is far superior.” Discord merely shrugged, and dissipated the Batman costume with a snap.
“Heheh… heh… I’ll try, I guess…” Pohatu said, after recovering from his fit of giggles. “It all depends on if he’s willing to work with me, though. He seems to be, of course, but he's rather strongly obsessed with this ‘alpha timeline’ of his, so…”
“We just need to introduce a few more additional variables to make sure he well and truly realises that he’s not there, he’s here, and he’d better focus on the big stuff,” Jack said as he grasped a large and cliche lever, “ready?”
“Ready!” Pohatu and Discord said.
Jack pulled the lever, causing massive bolts of electricity and jets of steam to erupt from the machine, specifically from devices designed to do so for dramatic effect. A few additional, and less ornamental, bolts of electricity struck Pohatu’s golden mask, causing it to shift between all the forms of the Kanohi that it comprised of rapidly, before streams of somewhat liquid-looking brown and gold energy flowed from the mask and into collectors at the base of the wheel. These streams flowed through clear pipes before arriving at the top of the aforementioned madman’s drink machine, where it was then deposited onto the Switch as a rather thick goo with a rather humorous sounding ‘squirch’.
Jack switched the machine off before grabbing a pair of barbecue tongs and retrieving the Switch. As the goo dissolved, the Switch was revealed to be somewhat different from the one it was replacing. Not only was the Kanohi more defined and had details picked out with orange, but it was a completely different one, resembling a Noble Kanohi Rau, (the Mask of Translation,) but with a raised Y taking up a good portion of it.
Discord leaned over Jack’s shoulder, pulling off a pair of safety goggles and putting them into the breast pocket of a lab coat he was suddenly wearing. “Ooh, shiny…!” He said.
“I think we can consider the debt concerning the busted Switch, paid in full,” Jack said while peeling off a few stubborn pieces of gunk, revealing the Switch’s logo, the identification code ‘D-03’ over the Bionicle symbol. However, there was also a second short series of symbols just underneath, consisting of three different circles that each had an unusual arrangement of lines and dots within. “I think that’s the Matoran language, can you translate Pohatu?”
Pohatu, a little winded, came over and looked at the switch, then raised a brow ridge. I don't know what you're having problems with; it says ‘Dee-hyphen-aught-three,’ plain as day, on top of a symbol of the three virtues. Not sure what those ones there mean, though.” He then pointed to the English alphanumerics.
“Same thing in our language, makes sense,” said Jack as he started to put it away, before thinking again and presenting the Kanohi on top to Pohatu, “know what this Kanohi is?”
“Oh, yeah, I have that one…!” The Toa of Stone replied, his golden Mask smoothly shifting form to match, before glowing. “And hey, so it does. Honestly, I keep forgetting that I even have some of these masks, since I rarely have a chance to use them.” He then allowed his mask to return to its normal shape. “There’s mind control, telekinesis, illusion… yeah.”
“Versatility is a valuable tool, so make use of it,” said Jack, “so, this is the Kanohi…”
“So it would appear…” Discord agreed.
There was a faint *pop!* behind them, and they all turned to see Screwball was now standing in the locker room with them.
“Heya!!” She exclaimed, waving, before her eyes settled on Discord and the complicated machinery. “...Daddy, what're you doing in here with all that…?” She asked suspiciously.
“Uh, n-nothing…!” He replied, waving his mismatched hands.
“You weren't helping them cheat, were you? I kinda want them to win too, in all honesty, but I want it legit!”
“No, sweetie, see…” Discord blustered, “I was trying to fix something of Jack's that I broke earlier, but I think it kind of got upgraded a bit by accident, and--”
“Oh, dad, you know I’m just fiddling with you, right?”
“So, is it about time to show just how awesomely I did?” asked Jack.
“Might be for the best,” Discord replied, nervously. Pohatu nodded, though more out of curiosity than anything else. Screwball cocked her head to the side, almost expectantly.
“Take a look at the Mk2 Kanohi Switch,” Jack said as he showed it to Screwball. She leaned in so close her snout was nearly touching it, then flared her nostrils a couple times and raised an eyebrow.
“You gonna try it out, or what?” She asked at length.
“If I get the chance yeah, assuming someone gets around to telling me what the Switch on the top does,” Jack said, casting an expectant gaze onto Pohatu, who quickly raised his hands in a defensive manner.
“Wh-- me? I don't know! I just ran on that wheel thing over there, how should I know? You're the one who does the switches and such!”
“Because you have one of these, you just showed me yours 10 seconds ago, remember?”
“Well yeah, it looks a lot like the Mask of Translation, but that doesn't guarantee that the switch’ll do the same thing…!” Pohatu protested. “I mean, that forked shape on it is weird, but maybe it’s a design element? I’ve seen one or two matoran with modified masks that function just like their normal counterparts… extra lenses and such, you know?”
“Looks like we won't know until we try,” Discord said with a shrug.
“Yeah, go ahead and try it out!” Screwball encouraged. “Let’s see what it does!”
After quickly checking which slot it was supposed to go into, Jack inserted it into the first slot.
Kanohi
However, before he could switch it on, the call for the competitors to return was heard.
“Ooh, time for us to get going!” Screwball said, bouncing up and down in excitement. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!” With that, she began hopping off through the door (which was still shut,) and down the hall. Discord smiled in her general direction.
“That’s my little troublemaker…!” He said, pride evident in his voice.
“Uh, are we still going to try the switch, or are we gonna go…?” Pohatu asked.
Discord shrugged. “It’s up to Jack to decide.”
“We might get an opportunity in the next event,” Jack said as he walked up to the door, looked at the new window, shrugged, and went through it the normal way before Henshining and making his way to the field. Pohatu followed, while Discord vanished from view, probably to get himself a seat in the stadium somewhere to watch the encroaching chaos of the game.
As Jack and Pohatu stepped onto the field, they saw Caldoric and Tahu awaiting them, and the four of them were soon together at the center of the pitch.
“Welcome again, contestants…!” Screwball’s voice proclaimed from the Jumbotron above them. “Now, as I mentioned before this challenge is to engage in a simple game of Koli. First to three points ‘wins’ the match. That’s no guarantee of winning the competition, though, just like with the Lava Surfing! That said, let’s go over the rules here real quick, to make sure you're up to speed! Everyone ready?”
Caldoric and Tahu nodded together, the former seeming to actually follow the latter’s lead for once. Jack and Pohatu did the same, albeit with the addition of them bumping their forearms together.
“Good!” Came Screwball's voice. “The rules are as follows: first, the teams shall number more than one, but not more than six. And, well, since there’s only the two groups of you, it looks like that one won't be broken anytime soon…!” There was mild laughing from the crowd. “Anyway, moving on! Secondly, all teams must have more than one player, and all teams must also have the same number of players as their fellow teams. Basically, equal teammates all around, so pretty simple. Next, uh…” There was the sound of papers rustling and slight muttering as she presumably looked through some sort of document.
“Ok, so, third one’s supposed to have you all agree on the number of goals, but since that’s already pre-established, it's kinda already in motion… ok, number four: obviously, first team to the final number of goals wins, yadda yadda… next, number five: all goals are good goals, provided they are not own goals, as own goals are not true goals… oh, hey, I like that one, we should use that more often around here!” Again, mild chuckling. “Right, number six. All teams are allowed one defender, whom is allowed to carry a shield-- ok, wait, none of you have shields, so this doesn't apply. Next! Number seven: The ball is, and always shall be, the ball, unless it is lost, damaged, or destroyed, in which case a substitute may be put into play. Eight; any number of Koli balls may be in play, as long as the number is less than either the number of teams, or the number of players on each team, whichever is smaller. Nine: any player who strikes another player is to be considered to be not playing well. Shield strikes and ball-blocking strikes are excluded, as they are signs that all are playing well, and are therefore to be expected. Ten! Any who are found to have not played well will bring dishonor to their village. Eleven! Any invasion of the pitch by wild or hostile forces will postpone the rest of the match until the problem has been dealt with.
“And that’s all she wrote, folks!” Screwball concluded. “Well, you're also not supposed to use your hands either, unless you're a goalie or whatever, but yeah. Um. Take your positions, I guess? After that, we’ll start off!”
Caldoric wandered off towards the goal of one end, with Tahu following behind, only for the Toa of fire to stop midway along and turn around. It appeared that he would be the “forward” player for their team.
As for Jack and Pohatu, they did the same thing, with Pohatu as the forward, and Jack taking a defensive stance with his Shield Switch active.
“Alright, everyone seems ready, we’re all in position…” Screwball announced, then paused. “Oh, hey, I didn't know you had a shield, Jack! Good for you, you're free to use it as need be. That said, a final note: mask power's will be allowed, but keep it fair-ish. No mind-control from either Tahu or Pohatu, keep the telekinesis to a minimum, and Caldoric? Cool it with the teleport spamming.” The audience laughed a bit at that, while Caldoric made a sort of ‘what the heck, man?’ gesture.
“Good, good, let’s get this started. Putting the ball in play in three… two… one…” A large brown stone, rounded and polished and half again as large as a soccer ball, shot into the air from the exact center of the pitch. “Go! Play well, boyos!” And with that, the game was afoot.
Pohatu shot forward immediately, knocking the ball out of the air and leaping over Tahu in a single smooth movement. He then activated his Mask of Speed, before kicking the ball to a point on the field and dashing over to it. After doing this two more times, he was in a scoring position, which he then proceeded to do. Tahu dashed over, using the powers of his own Mask of Speed, though because he was less used to its powers, the Toa of Fire was but a fraction of a second too late to intercept his comrade’s primary goal attempt. Caldoric jumped in front of the ball, placing himself between it and the goal, only to go rocketing backwards with the ball cemented to his chest by the sheer force behind it.
Pohatu didn't mess about when kicking rocks around, after all.
Caldoric found himself well inside the goal, the ball on his lap, as the crowd outside cheered. “Damn, I should've expected that…” he said, as Screwball's voice announced the goal’s legitimacy factor. Which was, of course, quite a substantially high value, given the circumstances. He stood, kicking the ball to one side, where it rolled into a small receptacle designed to return the ball to center-field post-haste.
“Alright, round two!” Screwball proclaimed, as Caldoric made his way out of the goal. The ball shot up once more, and this time, Tahu was the one to get the ball first. He used his sword to swat the ball out of the air, to many jeers and boos from the crowd, but Screwball quickly went to work assuring them that it was well within the rules. He hadn't actually used his hands, after all. In the meantime, Tahu was using the momentary advantage to drive the ball up the field towards Jack, albeit a little clumsily.
“You're looking a little slow, brother…!” He taunted, sparing half a moment to throw a glance backwards.
“It wouldn’t be sporting to not give you a chance,” Pohatu replied before leaping over Tahu, using his masks of speed and levitation to get the clearance and come down about a meter in front of him.
Tahu, in turn, tried to come to a halt, or turn, or anything to avoid running into Pohatu. However he tripped over the ball, and sent the both of them sprawling into a surprised heap.
“Ooooooh…!” Everyone watching exclaimed, wincing at the collision.
“And here, we have our first use of the instant replay cam!” Nitro’s voice stated, excitedly, from the commentator’s booth. All parties looked at the Jumbotron (or, in some cases, more portable screens,) as the action unfolded in slow motion. There was Pohatu, touching down in front of Tahu, a confident look on his mask. Then, it cut to Tahu’s surprise, his fumble over the ball, and his loss of control. Next, the camera cut to another view of Pohatu, showing his slowly dawning look of shock as his brother barreled into him with no control.
“Ooh, yowch!” Whirligig said as they made contact. “Well, that definitely wasn't a deliberate strike on either player, merely an unfortunate collision. At least, in my opinion. What do you guys think?”
“Get on with it!” Several voices cried, and the Jumbotron's screen shifted to show the judges from earlier looking unhappily in the presumed direction of the commentator's booth.
“Right, ok, continue playing…!” Screwball said.
Without further prompting, Tahu engaged in a small bout of foot-based hot-potato with his brother as they fought for control of the ball. Without warning or any other prior indication, Caldoric cut through the scuffle, taking the ball with him. What he lacked in Mask-enhanced speed, he somewhat made up for in the steadiness of his footwork as he kicked the literal rock across the field.
“Oh, and there goes the big man of Team Scourge himself! “Screwball proclaimed over the loudspeakers. “There he goes! He has the Koli ball! He’s driving it up the paint! He’s in shooting range! And…!”
Caldoric slammed the ball with his foot as hard as he could towards the goal, trying for a curve to psyche out Jack, but he reached out with his shield arm and managed to deflect it just enough for it to hit the edge of the goal and bounce off.
“Oh… man, that was so close!” Shouted Nitro. “Blocked by Jack of Team Charge, who deflects with a well-timed Theologian’s Digression! Textbook defense, if I've ever seen one.”
“Wait, since when did you know this kind of stuff?” Whirl demanded.
“Aw, c’mon, it’s sports, how could I not?” Nitro replied. “That's not important, look at the game!”
Jack managed to take control of the ball and send it back to Pohatu, who began to charge towards Caldoric’s now undefended goal, however this time he was being chased by both Tahu and Caldoric, the former of which had activated his Masks of Speed and Strength. Tahu picked up Caldoric and, in a desperate move, chucked him halfway across the field so that he could hopefully get in front of Pohatu.
Unfortunately, this left Caldoric sliding practically on his Mask until he was right in front of the goal, just in time to intercept Pohatu's goal attempt… with the ball stopping abruptly against his groin.
“Oh, owch, I don't care what universe you're from,” Whirl said, his voice strained in sympathy, “that’s gotta hurt…!”
Indeed, Caldoric was curled up in a ball for a few seconds, before he loosened his muscles and then looked down his torso with a momentary look of confusion, then facepalmed.
“Oh, wait, did we mention that Toa don't really have anything to hurt down there like we do…?” Nitro asked.
“Uh… no,I don't think we did…” Whirl replied, a bit distracted.
Whilst that was happening, Caldoric had gotten up, a little shakily, and then booted the ball back into play. Tahu managed to gain control over the ball, and sped away up the field as fast as he could, with Pohatu dogging him at every step.
He got to Jack’s end of the field and, summoning the powers of his Mask of Strength once again, alongside his powers of flame, he channeled every bit of energy he could into his foot and kicked the ball. It sped forth from the point of contact with great force, and now covered in flames headed slightly left of Jack’s position. Jack attempted to block, but the awkward position he was forced to take meant he was knocked sideways and unable to block it completely, and it scored anyway.
“Gooooooooaaaaaaaaalllll!” Nitro shouted, with mixed cheers and boos from the crowd.
“Well, Team Scourge scores!” Screwball stated. “It’s 1-1, and still anypony’s game! Play on!”
Once more, the ball shot up from the central dispensary area, looking a tad scorched, and the two Toa Mata once again jumped for the ball. This time, however, they both kicked it from opposite sides, and the ball shattered.
“Ooh, whoops!” Screwball exclaimed, a bit mischievously. “Ball broken: new ball!”
With that, a new ball shot up from the center of the field. Once more, Tahu got the jump on Pohatu, and started driving the ball towards Jack once more. Jack managed to brace himself behind his shield to make the block, but it was deflected up allowing Tahu to head it into the goal.
“Goal!” Several folks shouted, both from the crowd and the Commentator's booth. There were a few cheers and boos as well, though the balance had shifted a bit more towards the positive as the crowd warmed up to the spectacle.
“Alright, that’s 2-1, Team Scourge. Well done there, Tahu, nice way to use your head…!” Screwball announced, amid a few chuckles.
He and Pohatu returned to center-field, and the ball was deployed. Pohatu gained control of the ball, and things began to get intense.
~~~~
The crowd around the Stadium:
Now.
Twilight shook her head as Rainbow dash continued shouting a mix of encouragement and disparaging remarks at the figures on the field. She and her other friends sat relatively close together in the stands, watching the action unfold. This latest round was promising to drive things to a new level of complication, with Caldoric's team just one goal away from victory.
Twilight's mind was taken off of things as a new figure sat down next to her, wearing several bandages.
“Trixie…!” She gasped, shocked to see her pupil’s friend up and about. “What are you doing here…?
Trixie gave Twilight her best amused look, as if the answer was obvious. “Why, Twilight, the injured yet recovering war hero, Trixie, merely wished to partake in the viewing of this glorious display.” She then dropped her grandstanding demeanor and reached out to Twilight for a hoof-bump. “In all seriousness, I was mysteriously transported here, same as everypony else, and I figured I’d stick around to watch. Then I caught sight of you all, and decided to join you in a bit of friendly spectatorship.”
Twilight chuckled and returned Trixie’s gesture. “Glad to hear you’re feeling better, at least. I only wish our search for Starlight was going as well as your recovery: we still haven't turned up any leads. At least, not since we found they’d moved to a location in the wake of your escape.”
Trixie sighed and shook her head. “Twilight, don't worry. We’ll find her eventually: I’m sure of it. We just have to keep trying, and not give up hope.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I have faith she’s still alive, somewhere. In all honesty, I’m still surprised they just let you go so easily, instead of trying to track you down.”
“What can I say?” Trixie asked with a smile, placing a hoof to her chest. “The Great and Powerful Trixie was just too much for such mere insects to handle.” The two of them looked at each other for a second, then broke into a fit of giggles. As they did, the crowd roared at something that had happened down on the field, drawing both unicorns’ attention.
“I’ve been meaning to ask, but, what's all this racket about? And who are those figures down there in the middle?” Trixie asked, with some trepidation.
“Oh, just some idiots settling a challenge,” Rainbow Dash cut in, leaning back over her seat. “Personally, I’m rooting for the brown guy and the mostly-white guy down there. They're teamed against the other two. Honestly, I’m pretty cool with the red guy -- we’re actually pretty tight, you know -- but I really don't like the other guy he’s paired with, so I’m a bit torn there.”
“Wait, why don't you like the, uh…” Trixie scrunched her eyes, peering at the field down below for a second. “The black-ish one?”
Rainbow snorted and turned back around in her seat, staying silent for a couple seconds. “Reasons,” she said eventually, but didn't continue.
“Yeahhhhh…” Twilight said, uneasily, “Caldoric -- the one mostly in black, as you put it, -- was involved in something earlier that hit us rather close to home. Some of us more than others. Rainbow was hit hardest of all…”
“Twilight, can you, like, not talk about this right now?” Rainbow demanded. “It’s still, y'know, fresh.”
Twilight's ears drooped and she ducked her head a bit. “...Sorry,” she apologized. There was silence among the group for a short while, before Trixie spoke up once more.
“So… are they some sort of golem? I mean, they don't look like any creature I’ve ever seen before, except maybe minotaurs.”
“We’re not sure about that, actually,” Twilight replied. “I mean, Caldoric's a bit different, as is Jack, but--”
“Look, can we just watch without the commentary?” Rainbow snapped. “I really don't wanna miss when Caldoric gets what’s coming to him.” Twilight tittered nervously, then leaned in closer to her former arch-rival.
“Look,” she told Trixie, as quietly as possible, “she and Caldoric kinda got off to a rocky start almost right off the bat, and it’s only gotten worse within the last day, for reasons I won't go into here…”
“You… might wanna fill me in on what happened after you got one-upped by Discord.” Trixie replied, skeptically. “Last I heard, there was something about a deserted island…?”
“Yes, Mata Nui. However, it wasn't deserted at all, really, as we soon found out.” Twilight then gestured to the field and continued. “In fact, that’s kind of where this all started.” She then began telling Trixie just about everything she knew about the situation, as quietly as possible given their proximity to Rainbow.
Meanwhile, the game continued...
~~~~
The Field:
Now.
Tahu had finally managed to get hold of the ball, after a heated back-and-forth between himself and Pohatu. He was well on his way towards Jack’s goal, preparing to line up another shot, when he noticed Jack fiddling with something on his Driver. Tahu didn't see what it was, though, as Pohatu sped in front of Jack, his arms outstretched, as he activated his Mask of Shielding. However, it managed to pass around the area of effect and head towards Jack. Jack, seeing no real other choice, activated his new switch.
Kanohi, On!
Tahu watched as the ball went to the goal, only to be incredibly confused as it bounced off of a forcefield. Jack was behind it, with his right arm extended, and on it was a mask that didn’t match the one on his switch: this one was trapezoidal in shape, and looked strangely familiar to Tahu.
What in the name of Mata Nui is going on…?! he wondered to himself as he beheld what Jack was doing.
The mask on Jack’s arm changed to match the one on his Switch. “Good thing a bonus of this Switch is that I know what the Kanohi are: behold, the Kanohi Kotahi, Great Mask of Fusion.”
“Wait, what are you--?” Tahu began, but had no further chance for words as Caldoric called out from his end of the field.
“Come on, what’s he doing now?” He demanded.
“He says he's got a Great Mask of Fusion!” Tahu called back to his teammate, eyeing both Jack and Pohatu. “What's that all about?”
“He what?!”
“Let me show you,” Jack said, his tone making anyone within earshot imagine on his face beneath his helmet. “Pohatu, prepare for Kaita,”
“We’d need a third to do that,” Pohatu replied, uncertainly.
“Not with this,” countered Jack, as the mask started glowing. Soon after, it began emitting many tendrils of pure energy, which quickly latched onto Pohatu, bringing them both together and engulfing them in light before the two of them merged together. After a few seconds, the cocoon of light broke apart as a mighty yell was heard.
“Uchu Kaita!!!”
Where the cocoon originally lay now stood a rather large bio-mechanical figure. It somewhat resembled a much larger Pohatu, save that it was encased in white armor on his chest, forearms, and lower legs. On his back was a rather large jetpack, his right arm bore the faceplate of Forze’s helmet on the gauntlet, and his left bore Pohatu’s Golden Mask. The Kanohi on his face was the Kotahi, the expression on it both confident and calculating. The revelation of this new figure’s arrival drew many shocked cries from the crowd, and all others watching the event.
“Whoa, it looks like things are really heating up here on the field…!” Screwball declared, amidst the chaos.
“Mata Nui…!” Tahu proclaimed, shocked beyond belief. “What is this madness…?”
“I’m Toa-Rider Hoa, Kaita of Friendship,” the figure said in a voice that sounded like Pohatu’s, save run through a voice synthesiser. “Now, let’s do this 2-on-2.”
“Not impressed!” Caldoric called, from the far end of the field. “We can do that too! Sorta…!”
“Wait, what?” Tahu demanded, turning back to his teammate. “Don't tell me you have one of those Masks hidden away somewhere as well!”
“Nope! Just shapeshift, and I’ll handle the rest!” Caldoric replied, running up the field towards Tahu. As he came near, the Toa of Fire shifted from his bipedal form to his quadrupedal robo-equine one, his mane and tail blazing away like miniature infernos.
“Alright, Friendship Fusion technique!” Caldoric cried, vaulting onto Tahu’s back and drawing out a massive and ornately-decorated hammer. “YOLO-Polo formation! Hyaa!”
“What the…? This wasn't part of the plan!” Tahu admonished, turning to give Caldoric a Look.
In response, Hoa, as well as 50-70% of those watching, facepalmed. “Seriously?”
“Oh, hush, Tahu,” Caldoric grumbled, “you just move us around, and I’ll handle the ball.”
“Fine. Let’s finish quickly, I feel stupid with you on my back…!”
Caldoric paid his words no real need, only pausing to shout “Charge!” and point his hammer in a generally forward direction. And thus, Tahu charged.
Hoa reached out towards the ball with his left hand, the mask on it changing from a Great Kakama (the Mask of Speed,) to a Noble Matatu (Mask of Telekinesis). The ball shot towards him, but just before it was in reach, the mask once more swapped to a Great Pakari, and he kicked the ball straight into the air.
“Aaaaand this has basically just devolved into a game of Kalvinball, hasn't it?” Screwball asked over the loudspeakers, her tone making it painfully obvious she was being rhetorical.
“Pretty much, yeah.” Nitro replied. “Nothin’ wrong with that, though; it’s fun.”
Hoa’s jetpack ignited, launching him after the ball which he launched into Caldoric’s goal via flying bicycle kick.
“And now it’s tied up, at 2-all.” Whirl stated, matter-of-factly. “Next goal ends the game, folks, so it’s time for… sudden death!”
At that point, the lights around the stadium dimmed and turned a shade of red as dramatic music cut in. Both teams squared off in the center of the field, and awaited the final release of the ball. And released, the ball was, with a loud KA-CHUNK that spoke of finality.
Caldoric swung his hammer at the ball, small arcs of electricity pinging off it in its wake, as Hoa raised his leg in a kick. However, Caldoric was marginally faster, and managed to knock the ball towards Team Charge's goal. He urged Tahu forward, the both of them trying to keep up with Hoa as both teams jockeyed for the ball. However, just as Caldoric was lining up a final shot, Hoa stepped between the ball and goal, delivering a devastating kick that was both swift and elegant.
The ball soared like a speeding bullet for Team Scourge's goal, but for Caldoric, time seemed to slow. No, he thought to himself, as Tahu’s distorted cry of anger and dismay reached his ears, I can't allow this. This shall NOT come to pass…!
With barely any time for planning, his instincts skipped directly to action; his Mask activated, warping him across the arena to stand before the goal. In a near-Herculean bout of effort, he swung the massive hammer as hard as he could in an overhead strike, making contact with the ball in midair.
“Hammer…!” He growled, as the energies of both objects contested for a fraction of a second. “DOWN!!!”
With a small explosion, the now-fractured Koli ball finally ricocheted off the hammer’s head and blasted back down the field, straight at Hoa. Tahu dove out of the way as the ball struck the heroic fusion in the center of his chest, carrying the Titan backwards into their own goal with a flash of light.
There was silence in the stadium for a few seconds as Caldoric shakily got to his feet, then looked at the Jumbotron's screen. What he saw there scared him. There he stood, panting heavily, an almost murderous grin displayed on his mask, and his eyes were blazing a brilliant orange. As he looked on, he saw his own face falling into one of concern, his eyes becoming emerald-green once more.
There was a sudden outcry from the stadium,full of mixed reactions. There were cheers and jeers, shouts of joy and anger, but altogether it was nearly devastating.
“Well…” Screwball said, dumbfounded, “I don't think we’ve seen that move before…”
“No, we haven't.” Whirl agreed, his voice full of concern. “However, he did just score, meaning… it’s 3-2, Team Scourge. They’ve--”
“Whoo! They’ve won! And what a shot!” Nitro interrupted. “In a shocking turn of events, Caldoric single-handedly turned the tide of the game!”
“Right…” Screwball replied. “Let’s, uh… let's go down and talk with them, shall we?” With that, the Jumbotron shut off and vanished into nothingness.
Meanwhile, on the field, Caldoric had begun walking towards the opposing goal, dragging the hammer behind himself as he went. When he passed Tahu, the Toa of Fire gave him a very cautious look.
“You alright?” Caldoric asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Y-yes. I believe so.” Tahu answered. “We should probably check on the others, though, after that… thing you just did.”
Caldoric blinked for a moment, then gave a slight smirk as he turned his attention towards the goal. “Let’s take a closer look behind that mask, eh?” He then chuckled, shook his head, and continued on. Tahu, confused, decided it would be best not to comment, and followed.
When they arrived, they found Jack and Pohatu staggering out of the goal, leaning on one another.
“Hey, Jack, Pohatu…” Caldoric began, “you, uh… you alright?”
“Let’s just say that the Medical Switch is still at the top of my ‘Switches I can’t wait to unlock’ list,” said Jack.
Caldoric pulled a face, sucking in a sharp breath as he did. “Yeah… sorry about that. You, Pohatu…?”
“Mmm, well… I’m a little sore right now, but I will say this.” The Toa of Stone said. “You really know how to handle a ball.”
Caldoric jerked slightly, as if he’d been punched in the gut, and gave a strangled snort.
“What? What happened?” Tahu asked.
“Heh, handle a ball indeed.” Caldoric answered, chuckling. “Bow-chika-bow-wow…”
Tahu and Pohatu shared an uneasy glance at this.
“Cal, your name is not Tucker, stop it,” said Jack.
“Hey, he doesn't have exclusive rights to that.” Caldoric protested. “It's been around longer than Red vs Blue.”
“It doesn’t mean I won’t go for my newspaper.”
“Har har.”
“Um, if I could interject…” Pohatu began, “what was that about?”
“Oh, remember that chat you guys has a while back?” Caldoric asked. “You know, the one with… oh, I can't remember who it was, but was the whole thing about physiology and stuff, remember?”
Tahu shuddered, while Pohatu's expression went blank. “Oh,” the latter said. “That…? Let me guess, that was ‘Innuendo’, was it?”
“Yep.”
Pohatu sighed and facepalmed. Tahu for his part, gave Caldoric and Jack a disapproving look.
“I will never understand you humans…” Tahu said, shaking his head. He had little chance to say more, though, as they were all enveloped in a brilliant shower of light.
When their vision cleared once more, they found themselves in the same room as Screwball, Whirl, and Nitro, who were all looking at them with interest.
“So,” Screwball said, “time to announce the victor of this little contest, no?”
“That’d be nice,” Caldoric replied, a hint of snark in his voice.
“Quiet, you.” Screwball told him, momentarily dropping her usually super-saccharine disposition. “Ahem. As per the judges’ decisions on point distribution during the Lava Surfing trial, given the parameters set down beforehand, Jack came in the lead. Yes, Caldoric, I know you came in the lead physically, but many of your actions during that race were questionable. Whilst within the letter of the rules, they were not in the spirit of fair competition. Especially that last trick of yours. The only reason you got any points at all is because of him.” Screwball then jerked her head off to one side, indicating the group of judges from before.
“Yeah, man!” Said Garble, standing up and waving at Caldoric. “You got some skills and some real potential, from what I saw! You hear me? With time and the proper training, your lava surfing could be something any Dragon would be proud of!”
“Hey!” Tahu interjected. “I can do far better than him! Mark my words!”
“Oh really?” Garble taunted “Hah, gonna have to put your hoard where your mouth is before I believe it, metal-man!”
“Anyways,” Screwball declared, cutting off the argument, “time to tally up the final points. I won't go into a detailed breakdown of how and where they were distributed, for the sake of time, but they are as follows.”
Screwball turned to Caldoric, looking him in the eyes. “You, Caldoric, ended the Lava Surfing trial with 21 points. You were a bit higher, but as I said before, that last trick of ramming Jack is what cost you the most.” She then turned to Jack as Caldoric’s shoulders slumped. “You, on the other hand, ended with 43 points.”
“So, a morality victory, then.” Caldoric stated, crossing his arms. “Of course that’d happen: your panel of judges wasn't impartial.”
“Hush, you…!” Screwball demanded, and several of the others nodded their agreement. “Anywho, for the Koli match, Caldoric and Tahu actually came ahead just slightly, with five points, while Jack and Pohatu came in with four. You both would've had five, but Jack and Pohatu used a Mask of Telekinesis, which I explicitly stated to not do, but everything had pretty much gone out of control by then, so whatever.”
“Wait, why five points? Shouldn't it have been three or something?” Caldoric asked, raising an eyebrow.
“One, I told you I’m not going to explain the breakdown.” Screwball replied, holding up a hoof. “Two, are you questioning my methods?”
“Maybe I am. What of it?”
“Do you really want me to answer that question?” By now, Screwball had raised an eyebrow of her own, to counter Caldoric's. They stood there like that for a few seconds, staring each other down.
“Uh, guys?” Pohatu asked, breaking the tense silence. “Can we, you know, progress with this? Get it over with, maybe?”
“Agreed,” Tahu growled. “This is beginning to irk me. And I don't like being irked.”
There was a moment of continued silence, before Caldoric shrugged and looked away. “Fine. Whatever. Just do it.”
“Thank you.” Screwball said, then snapped back to her usual, goofy self. “Alright, so, that leaves us at 47-26, in Jack’s favor. Seems pretty much like Caldoric's been well and truly dunked on huh…? Well, news flash, folks. We still haven't accounted for the value of the pendants I loaned them at the start of the challenge!”
There was an audible murmur of surprise from those in the room, and the folks out in the stadium.
“That’s right, folks. Each amulet (or pendant, whatever!) had three charges that would set the bearer back on their board if they fell off into the lava, and an additional charge that would kick in if all the others had been used, which would pull the bearer from the race itself, effectively disqualifying them. Each charge is worth a specific value, with bonus points for not using any of them…!”
“Screwball, I thought you said you wouldn't--”
“Caldoric, so help me.” Screwball cut him off. “Another word out of you, and I’m discounting the points from your amulet-pendant-necklace thingy. Got it?” Caldoric nodded, but it was clear from his expression that he no longer really cared. There was no possible way this unexpected source of points could throw the now-obvious results in his favor.
“Ahem. So, Jack fell into the lava once, at the end of the challenge, costing him both a charge on the pendant and the bonus points. This leaves his pendant with a value of 13 points, bringing his total to 60 points. Well done, Jack!”
“What can I say, versatility is king,” said Jack.
“Indeed it is, Jack.” Screwball agreed, smiling at him. “That said, we still have the other pendant to account for. Caldoric, for all his shenanigans, somehow managed to not fall in the lava, even once. Thus, he gets the full value of his pendant, which comes out to 38, including the 20-point bonus.”
There was a faint choking noise from Caldoric, who gave Screwball a look of shock.
“That's right, folks.” Screwball announced. “This pendant is currently worth more than Caldoric's entire efforts thus far in the competition. How’s that feel, Caldoric? Being outdone by an inanimate object?” She and a few other folks chuckled as Caldoricfumed silently. “Hah, alright, alright. Enough teasing, folks. Now, if we add the 38 points of this pendant to Caldoric's current score of 26, we get a grand total of…!”
There was a short drumroll, before Screwball announced the final tally.
“64 points! Or, a full stack, in certain circles!”
Silence reigned over the stadium for several seconds, as a bit of slow, quiet music began playing through the loudspeakers. Lyrics kicked in shortly after.
♪Not far away lies a storm to the North,♪
The vocalist sang,
♪Whispers of Winter as Death marches forth.
Honor means nothing, and War is unfair,
I’ve come here to battle, and return to nowhere.♪
“...This is bullshit.” Caldoric declared after a few seconds, ignoring the music. “I can't believe you just pulled a freakin’ Dumbledore like that. Deus Ex Machina, much?” He then threw his hands in the air and began moving towards the exit door.
“Wow, do you complain about everything?” Screwball asked.
“No, I don't!” Caldoric snapped. “I’m offended that you think that, actually. I mean, if you're going to do some sort of points thing that weighs heavily on morality and honor, then you should stick with it. Otherwise it makes no sense.”
“Aw, but where's the fun in that?” Screwball playfully demanded. “You should know by now that consistency is the exact opposite of the thing my family does.”
Caldoric did little more than sigh at this before he walked out of the room.
“Well then, that’s it, folks. Caldoric came out on top, beating out Jack by four points. Make of that what you will.” Whirl said, more than a little uncertainly, as the crowd in the stadium began to roar with disapproval.
“Agreed,” said Nitro. “But if he won, then why do I feel like this was a loss, overall?” Whirl just shrugged.
“Alright, well, it’s been fun, folks, but time to go back to want you were all doing…!” Screwball declared, stomping a hoof on the ground. With a flash, Nitro Rod, Whirligig, the panel of Judges, and all the spectators in the stands vanished, presumably teleported back to wherever they were before all this happened. Soon, it was just Jack, Pohatu, Tahu, and Screwball in the commentator's box, alone together.
Jack sighed as he de-henshined, “So close but so far. Hope Pinkie isn’t too upset.”
“What, me?” Pinkie asked dramatically, popping up from behind an unsuspecting Screwball. “Pshaw, no, I’m not upset. I’m fine, I’m fiiiiine, it’s not like I just had a couple vital hopes and dreams crushed or anything…!” She tittered nervously, an obviously forced grin on her face. After a few seconds, her demeanor changed, her expression drooping. “But seriously, I get it. He won, we lost. Perhaps he had a bit of a point…? Eh, who cares. As you said, Jack, he’s got the right to refuse invitation to my parties, but it doesn't mean he won't come around and swing by one sometime!” She was back to her usually chipper self by now.
“I’m not too fond of his methods, to be honest,” Pohatu said simply. “I mean, they got the job done, sort of, but it was all rather unfriendly and unconventional.”
“The worst part is that I wanted to do this kind of thing anyway, but without the honor duel bit, just a bit of fun to try to break his shell a bit,” said Jack.
“Agreed,” Pohatu said, “he could definitely afford to… oh, what was the term? Loosen up?”
“Not too much, I hope.” Tahu interjected. “I must admit, he does seem to have some fighting spirit, which is probably the first positive thing I’ve noted about him since he arrived.” Pohatu elbowed him gently in the chest.
“C’mon, brother, you could stand to be less uptight, too.” Tahu merely rolled his eyes.
“Wellll~~...” Pinkie said, starting to sidestep towards the door, “looks like I should leave you all be for the time being, so I'mma just… yeah.”
“No need to excuse yourself, Pinkie,” Screwball supplied, “we’re pretty much done here, unless anypony else has something they'd like to say?” She then looked around at the others in the room. After a moment's pause, she smiled and nodded. “Alright then, folks. Back you go!”
There was a flash of light, and everyone present found themselves back in the ballroom, where ponies we're all filtering out of the now-defunct party and into the rest of the castle. Caldoric was nowhere to be seen. However, Jack briefly heard Screwball's voice in his head, silently urging him to find the absent Displaced.
~~~~
Canterlot Castle, Tower Vault.
A few minutes later…
Caldoric had spent the last few minutes shoving aside displays of various kinds, each holding one or more Tokens from Displaced across the multiverse. In anyone else’s eye, it would be a veritable treasure trove of potential salvation, but to him, here and now, it was all junk, and it was all in the way.
It did not help that there was rubble from a bit of collapsed wall that had also knocked a few things over, but he cleared that off to one side rather easily. Once he’d cleared a space large enough for his purposes, he nodded, stood back, and made a slight flicking motion towards the spot with one hand. As he did, the Alchemiter from his earlier encounter with Derpy appeared. There was no flash of light, no dramatic sound, or other special effect, save for a rather underwhelming ka-tunk. That done, he turned back to the mirror portal, noting the swirling vortex hovering in front of the dimension-bridging artefact.
Did that not close while we were gone? He thought to himself. That does not bode well…
“Looks like we forgot to turn it off,” said Jack as he walked in, “normally I’m good about that sort of thing, but angry alicorns can occasionally cause you to forget such things.”
Caldoric jumped as he heard Jack’s voice, spinning to face the Kamen Rider. “Oh.” Said the Toa, sullenly. “It’s you. How’d you figure out where I was, and how'd you get here so fast?”
“Short answer, Screwy’s keeping a friendly eye on you,” said Jack. Caldoric merely gave a snort as a reply, and then was silent for a short while.
“Well,” the Toa said at length, his voice tense, “I can only assume she clued you in to my whereabouts so you could confront me about my attitude or something… classic trope. In all honesty, I never intended things to be like this. I had fully intended to apologise to Pinks later, after I’d had a chance to calm down, and then you challenged me, I lost my cool… actually, I’m still rather miffed. I just… just… Gaahhhh…!” Caldoric threw his hands in the air.
“Well, I wanted to do that stuff without the duel, try to get you to loosen up, but then you were going to leave and I had to get it to happen somehow. Hindsight’s 20/20 and all that,” Jack said as he stuck his hands in his pockets.
Caldoric was silent for a moment. “You know, in maybe a couple months’ time, I probably would've been willing to take you up on the offer, point blank. More than enthusiastic, in fact. Like, I’m not sure how familiar you are with the Bionicle timeline, but… after the Toa Mata go and hand Teridax the first ass-kicking he’s had in a millennia, things kinda start happening in really rapid succession, like bam-bam-bam, until just before the Rahkshi arc. They get, like, a week to recover after the Kal’s shenanigans before things get really serious.” He shook his head and chuckled. “Heh, by then, I would've been glad of a break… assuming I survived that long. And I’m the only one who knows that’s supposed to happen, so I gotta make sure things go as close to that as possible.”
“Who says that’s the best option?” asked Jack.
“Clichè and self-centered as it may sound… I do.” Caldoric replied, letting his head drop. “Again, I'm not sure how much of Homestuck you're familiar with, if at all, or how much you understand about alpha or doomed timelines, but it’s something I at least partially get. I mean, my thing is Space, not Time, but this much I understand. See, anything that deviated from the Alpha Timeline, even slightly, is slated to become Doomed, and those trapped within can only wait for their inevitable doom and destruction to eventually meet them. The continued perpetuation of reality itself demands it. After all, reproductive systems are fraught with redundancy for a reason, you know? And this reality I’ve been privy to… it’s so far off from the original, I have no idea when or how things are going to go to shit. So, knowing what I do, I feel like I’m obligated to do what I can to make their journey as successful as possible before that happens. Maybe some part of me wants to repay the Toa for how they, or some other version of them, were a major part of my life. Maybe I’m just being selfish, or meddling because the opportunity presents itself. I don't know. But whatever the reason, I can't not do something. Aaaaand I’m rambling. Again.”
“Yeah, about that… I planted the idea for a railway in Gali’s head, so the Alpha timeline may already be busted,” said Jack, “of course, it already got busted when you arrived, so…”
Caldoric gave Jack a Look that carried a what have you done? sort of vibe. “Rail… way…?” he asked, weakly, then gave a heavy, shuddering sigh and dropped his face into his hands. “Dear lord…”
“Hey, she was worried about the villages not being connected, so I offered a solution,” said Jack. “Besides, isn’t Unity the first Virtue?”
Caldoric blustered for a moment, before managing to find his words. “Th-th-they’re a triumvirate-- no, no, letting that go right now. Setting aside the fact that they don't need an even more outrageous addition to their already worrisome level of Schizo-tech, (made mostly of bamboo, vines, and leaves, mind you,) the timeline was apparently ‘busted’ a long time ago. Something changed so that everyone on Mata Nui can turn into a pony-like version of themself, in case you haven't seen it yet from the Toa. Then, the Eleme-- Twilight's group of friends shows up on the island and, in more recent matters, prematurely opens up the Toa's perspective on civilization. They weren't supposed to know about cities until they rediscover Metru Nui! Seriously, I’m a small handful of unscheduled events away from flipping my shit.”
“You know, I can come back if you two are busy,” said Twilight's voice from just outside the shattered remains of the vault door. As they both turned to look towards the sound, they found that her mane was already frazzled, probably from seeing the door itself in a state of being, not to put too fine a point on it, reduced to rubble. She was also carrying a decent amount of complex arcane-punk machinery in her magical grip. “What the heck happened in here, by the way…?”
“Stuff and things,” Caldoric replied unhelpfully, getting a look from Twilight.
“Minor vehicular incident,” Jack said.
“Yeah, shenanigans, that's exactly what I just said.” Caldoric added.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Look, if you're going to indulge in destruction of public property, or parts of facilities owned by the crown, I suggest not doing it in a vault like-- ooh, is that the thingy Derpy found in the library?”
“Yes,” Caldoric replied, as Twilight zipped over to the Alchemiter, “but it’s called an Alchemiter, and it’s mine, so don't mess with it.”
“Oh, don't worry, I can have it taken apart and rebuilt inside of a few hours, I just gotta know how this thing works…!” The young Alicorn reassured him. “I can even see room for a few improvements…!”
“No.”
“But you’ve already modified it…!” Twilight protested, pointing at the organic-looking insectoid laptop interface that had been set into one part of the device.
“No.” Caldoric said once more. “You came up here with… whatever that stuff is that you have, for a reason. Don't worry about my stuff while you're doing it.”
Twilight growled, frustrated, and turned her attention to the mirror, as well as the giant portal swirling in front of it. “And… what's this about…?” She asked, pointing at the portal with a foreleg.
“Part of that thing with the vehicle and stuff. Shenanigans.”
Twilight deadpanned.
“It’s nothing to be concerned about, just a bit of equipment we forgot to turn off,” said Jack.
“Yeah? What kind of equipment?” Twilight asked, walking around the mirror and portal, only to freak out once she got a full view of the mirror’s top. “What the heck…?! You guys broke the tiny hoof-mirror topper thingy off the top! Oh no, oh no, now we’ll never get this fixed…!”
“Oh, please,” Caldoric said, pulling something out of one of the pockets in his armor, “calm the calamity that is your mammaries, twinklebutt. It actually popped out while I was looking at it earlier.” He then held up the aforementioned topper thingamajig, revealing that where the handle would be on a normal mirror, there was a crude rendition of the boxier portions of one of Jack’s switches. Caldoric waggled the item in question momentarily, before stuffing it back in his pocket. “I’d offer to put it back in place, short stuff, but there’s something currently resting in its place that is holding open this portal, which is, incidentally, Jack’s only ride home.”
Twilight was hyperventilating, for various reasons, and as such, was indisposed as far as talking was concerned, for at least a few seconds.
Jack waved his hand in front of her face, “I think you broke her.”
“Why, thank you!” Caldoric replied, with a cheerfulness that was only partially sarcastic. “I live to defy expectations! That said, what say we do something to get this mirror back in working order…?”
Twilight briefly shook her head in an attempt to clear it, then blinked. “Yeah, that… sounds like a plan. I mean, I was already working on re-installing my custom modifications, like this thaumic hyper-string initializer, the arcane waveform transducer, or--” She continued listing off what sounded like technobabble for a couple seconds before she stopped and giggled self-consciously. “Sorry, I forgot that most of this would be going over your heads…”
Jack just nodded as if he actually knew what the hell she was talking about, supplying a helpful “Don’t forget a DHD.”
Caldoric stiffened and looked at Jack. “Wait, you've seen Stargate? Nice.”
“Mainly Atlantis, but yeah.” Caldoric gave Jack an approving look.
“What, uh…” Twilight began, “what’s a DHD?”
“Dial-Home-Device,” Caldoric explained. “Basically, allows you to semi-remotely select the destination for, in this case, the mirror. Whether it be the high school--”
“Canterlot high,” Twilight interjected.
“Uh huh, yeah, as I was saying. Places like the school and Mata Nui, among other choices.”
“You probably had that in your upgrade list, probably under a different name, but it’s too useful not to have,” said Jack.
“Well, I was definitely planning on something like that, but only once I’d cracked how to influence the quantum destination pointer beyond just the binary on/off function.” Twilight explained. “Even then, I only managed that by using the Journal to override the lunar quantifier that allowed it to open at the default setting of three days per every 30 moons. And that barely worked…!”
“Twilight, trust me, we humans have a knack for adapting and improvising our way through innovative things like this.” Caldoric replied “We can probably be of assistance, though you'll have to talk in more plainclothes terms for this… for my sake, at least.”
“Mind if I take a look?” asked Jack.
Twilight gave Caldoric a look, then nodded at Jack. “Sure. Just keep an eye out while I set this stuff up.” She then proceeded to carefully assemble and arrange the various bits of equipment around the mirror, while leaving room for Jack to maneuver.
Jack whistled which caused the Powerdizer to roll up outside of the room. He then grabbed a toolbox out of the back and got to work looking at the various pieces.
“Um…” Twilight said, “are you actually sure you know what you’re doing with this? I mean, I know you’ve got that big mechanical thingy over there, but… I don't sense anything overtly magical about it. How are you going to deal with the arcane aspect of this?”
Jack just grinned as he pulled out a tool that honestly looked like a cross between a magic wand and a sonic screwdriver. “Ma’am, I’m an engineer, that means I solve problems. Not problems like ‘what is beauty?’, cause that would fall under your conundrums of philosophy.” Jack fiddled with the Alchemiter’s control panel for a bit. “I solve practical problems. Such as how to get this blasted mirror to work more than once every year and a half. The answer?” A large device that looked like an oversized Ayatan Piv Sculpture from Warframe. “Use a generator. And if that don’t work? Use more generators.” Jack wheeled the device towards the mirror. “Such as this little number, capable of generating the magical equivalent of 1.21 gigawatts. Designed by me, built with Caldoric's Alchemeter, and, you’d best hope, used responsibly by you.”
Caldoric blinked for a moment, then zipped over to the Alchemiter's controls, looking swiftly between the various buttons and levers, the in-built insectoid laptop, and Jack, all whilst doing his best “fish gasping for water” impression. If either of them had been paying him any attention, he would have been heard to choke out a faint “How?! How did he do that? He didn't even use the punch-card system! It's not supposed to work like that…!”
“One-point-twenty-one gigawatts? Sounds like a lot,” Twilight remarked, ignoring Caldoric in favor of the new toy. “You think it’ll work? What kind of generator is it? How does it function? Does it use any sort of fuel?”
“Think of it like a windmill, except that it uses ley lines instead of wind,” Jack replied as he pulled out a pin, allowing it to rotate freely.
Caldoric finally set his shock aside, and decided to comment on the device. “Wow… looks like one of those hobbyist-made kinetic sculpture things you’d find back home… only made by aliens. More like a piece of art than a generator…”
“Leylines, though?” Twilight asked. “That’s… dangerous. Those are highly powerful thaumic streams, and you have to set this kind of device up just right, or else you risk blowing it up from an overabundant thaumic influx! I’m not sure that I’m even qualified to mess with something like this…”
“Twilight, you're the Princess of magic, aren't you?” Caldoric asked. “Much as it pains me to say it, you're probably the most qualified… person, I guess, in any measurable distance. Take a swing at it. I mean, you modified the mirror itself before, remember? This can't possibly be more dangerous than tampering with an interdimensional artefact.”
“Ok, first, I’m the Princess of friendship.” Twilight corrected him. “Second, with trans-dimensional mechanics, there’s the issue of the void-induced exponential entropic decay within any given thaumic field that attempts to breach the worldwalls.”
Caldoric froze for a second, his his mouth moving silently. “So, you're saying the void functions as a sort of thaumic power-sink or resistor, which in turn causes a sort of return-loss on the end result, where there would normally be a stable energy gain?”
“Well, it’s more of a bleed-off effect than a resistor, but-- hold up…!” Twilight turned and gave Caldoric a strange look. “You… understood all that, just now? I thought your kind didn't have magic?”
“No, but we do have electricity, and just like water, it flows where it can. Usually where you don't want it to, if you're not paying attention to what you are doing.” Caldoric replied. “It sounded similar enough to what you were talking about that I think I was able to understand, but I can't be sure. I’m no electrician, to be sure.”
“To be perfectly honest, it’s more eddies generated by the flow of the ley lines that it taps into via induction,” said Jack. “Anyway, that should solve the 30 moons problem; I need to get started on the DHD now.”
Twilight inclined her head in Caldoric's general direction. “You there. Tall, dark-ish, and moody. Care to help me put this back together?”
Caldoric shrugged and rolled his eyes. “Sure, why not. Just… tell me what to plug where, or whatever. But if there’s any sort of sub-molecular binding or entangling or whatever, you’ll have to be the one to do it.”
Twilight chuckled. “Of course.”
Shortly, they were entrenched in the process of reconstructing the device she’d created long ago, while Jack worked on a DHD. Caldoric managed to help more than expected in a couple instances, including producing a small woodworking hammer and knocking in a few nails on one occasion.
“Well, then, that’s that part in place…” Caldoric remarked a bit later, setting his small multitool down as he turned to the final loose contraption. The device had a few lightbulbs hooked up to a pair of things that looked like miniature Tesla coils. “Now, where does this go?” He asked, picking it up.
“Actually, I don't think we’ll need that anymore,” Twilight remarked, confidently. “That’s the thing I used to draw power from the Journal to help Sunset Shimmer with the Sirens… it’s kinda redundant now, assuming I correctly understand the concept behind this DHD you two have e been talking about…” She trailed off and looked at Jack hopefully, checking on his progress.
“Simply put, it will allow you to select the reality that the mirror connects to by inputting its coordinates, and you can save your favorites,” said Jack as he finished screwing the cover on the device. The device in question looked like a cross between the hand-pedal-laden Andromeda Galaxy standalone units and the late-80’s-tech Stargate Command unit, with the overall aesthetics slightly shifted to match that of the mirror.
“Well,” Caldoric said, slowly. “I think redundancy can be a good thing. Let’s keep the, uh… this thingy here, for quick-dialing, and incorporate the new DHD.” He then paused. “Uh, d'you think we’ll need to add an iris, and possibly distribute GDO’s to allow access, Jack…?”
“Iris? GDO?” Twilight asked, her ears drooping. “I’m confused…”
“An iris, in this case, is a type of shield, designed to open and close just over the surface of the transportation surface, to either allow or deny access.” Caldoric supplied. “GDO was an affectionate term applied to small devices handed out to approved groups that, when activated, would send a signal ahead of time to let the folks at base know it was safe-ish to open the iris. GDO stands for ‘Garage Door Opener,’ by the way.”
Jack rubbed his chin, “I can probably add a couple of spell emitters to the mirror’s frame hard-coded with a shield spell, half an inch from the event horizon you think?”
“I dunno, the thing may not work the same as a Stargate… I can't exactly be sure, myself, because I’ve never stepped through this thing on this particular end.” Caldoric replied. “I mean, we got dumped into a jail cell via some short-lived spell window or something. There’s no telling if the iris would negatively affect anyone or thing trying to come through, or if they would just run into it and stop. I was only joking when I asked, to be honest, and I’m not sure it’s even necessary. What if someone needs to come through in a hurry after we reconnect this thing to… well, after we reconnect it?”
Twilight sighed heavily, then yanked the device Caldoric was still holding out of his grasp, then magic’d the DHD away from Jack. In short order, she had both entities hooked up on either side of the mirror's less-than-modular additions.
“There,” she said, tossing Caldoric's multitool back at him, “it’s done. I… think.”
“hard to tell, with that portal still active…” Caldoric remarked. “Jack, mind if I unplug the switch and see if the mirror works without it?”
“Uh, wait, we might want to hook up that generator first,” Twilight interrupted, pointing at it. The whole time, it’d just been sitting there, looking pretty, while Jack, Twilight, and Caldoric had been working.
“Right… I’ll let you two do that.” Said Caldoric. “I was fine with the other stuff, but… yeah. Klutz genes run very strong in my family, so… yeah.”
“Need to install a plug in the mirror, but I need to turn the mirror off for that anyway,” Jack said as he flipped off the Bronze Gate Switch and removed it, causing the mirror to shut down.
Caldoric nodded, gently taking the Switch from Jack, and then returned his attention to the Alchemiter, allowing the other two to get on with Jack’s plan. As they worked, they heard some mild cursing from Caldoric's general direction, as well as the occasional sound of him thumping or kicking the Alchemiter out of mild frustration.
After a while, the generator was installed, carefully squirrelled away behind the mirror, and the metaphorical “on” button was pressed. There was a brief flicker of lights from within the gems framing the mirror, but the light quickly died.
“I… I don't understand!” Twilight said, shaking her head slightly. “I’m sure we connected it properly! Did we cross a wire somewhere?”
“Ooh, did someone just try and fire up the old mirror portal?” Discord asked, popping up behind the mirror.
“Yep,” said Jack, “maybe I need to install a transformer to up the voltage?”
Discord was about to reply, only to be stopped by a hammer that flew across the room and smacked him in the face, before landing on the small end of its handle, fully in defiance of the laws of physics.
Everyone turned to see Caldoric crouched behind the Alchemiter, scowling at Discord as misshapen cards fluttered down through the air over the Alchemiter.
“Well, I never…!” Discord proclaimed. Caldoric merely hissed at him like a cat, and gave him twin middle fingers. “Harrumph! Here I am, coming to offer the last bit of the puzzle needed to fix this thing, and you throw a hammer at me? The nerve!”
“Don't patronize me, you Galidor tryhard.” Caldoric spat. “Just do your shit and get out.”
Discord tittered a bit, for all his pompous posturing, then snaked over the mirror and around to the front. Once in place, he tapped out at a series of points on the mirror's surface in quick succession, with each point he poked briefly displayed a glowing white square. Once he had finished, a panel flopped open from the silver surface of the mirror, revealing some form of compartment.
“Behold!” Discord said, delving his claw into a magician's hat that had just appeared. “The one critical piece of technology required for this device to work…!” He then drew his claw back out with dramatic flair, and opened it to reveal a heaping pile of…
“D batteries…?!” Caldoric shouted, standing up sharply. “Are you serious?! Freakin’ D batteries in Equestria? How does that work?”
“Miracles,” Discord supplied, offhandedly. “When I was under Crystalla’s control back there, I ganked these puppies after I chucked old miss Princess and her friends through the mirror to Mata Nui. Uh, sorry about that, by the way, Twilight.”
Twilight merely gave him a non-committal snort in reply.
“Yeesh, tough crowd…” Discord said, pulling nervously at his neck fur, which briefly parted as if it were a shirt. “Anywho, I guess that part of me figured they’d be near impossible to find, because they're only sold at gas stations, and they’re so darn expensive there!”
“We used to sell those at the Wal-Mart I worked at,” Caldoric replied. “Right up front, by the register. Still expensive as hell, but we sold 'em. Now hurry up and get gone!”
Discord recoiled from Caldoric, then carefully stuffed all the batteries into the compartment and slapped it closed. There was a faint hum as the mirror activated, and then the gems glittered and shone with multicolored light. The mirror itself shuddered and arced briefly, before settling down.
“Oh, sweet Celestia, it works…!” Twilight breathed.
Jack took a look at the DHD, which was now displaying data on the mirror. “Huh, looks like the battery powers the control circuits, which are separate from the portal generators.”
“Yes!” Twilight exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down a bit before trotting in place. “Yesyesyes! I need to tell Celestia and Luna that the mirror's up and running again!” She then squeed in delight.
“Mind if I help you along?” Discord asked, holding up his paw, its digits ready to snap.
“Uh, no, I can do it myself. Thanks.” Twilight gave him a final unsure look, then disappeared in a flash of lavender magic.
Discord smiled, then turned to look at Jack and Caldoric, clearly about to say something, but then thought better of it. He closed his mouth and snapped his fingers, disappearing in a flash.
“Well, glad he’s gone.” Caldoric remarked.
Jack just shrugged as he typed on the DHD, “Okay… looks like the mirror and DHD are talking to each other… lucky, Canterlot High’s hardcoded; saving to DHD… done.”
“Ok, now that’s repetitively redundant.” Caldoric replied, then growled and kicked the Alchemiter again. “Stupid thing… no, I don't want to make a copy of Johnny-fucking-five, he’s useless! Freaking…!”
“Hey, I need that for the GDOs,” said Jack.
“Eh, they're practically indestructible, unless you run into them with a rocket pack…” Caldoric said. “You know, I’ve been thinking… the term, ‘Kamen Rider,’ seems to be slowly ringing a bell, the more I turn it over in my head.”
He then turned around and looked at Jack. “Did they… I mean, do you, being one of them and all… like, some reason, I’m starting to see images of folks in similar outfits to yours, and they somehow have something to do with motorcycles, and… maybe dragons? Or, dragon, singular. Long red one, but… mechanical? Am I ringing any bells?”
“Is the guy speaking english or Japanese?”
“I don't remember. I seem to remember seeing that stuff as, like, part of an ad or something? Like, when I was a lot younger. All I remember are images… and I think the guys in the show were Caucasian? It's hard to remember.”
“Kamen Rider Dragon Knight, excellent show, although the guy who canceled it 5 episodes before the finale is an idiot who should be removed from the gene pool,” said Jack.
Caldoric hummed in minor agreement. “Glad to have a title to put with the idea, man. I’ll have to look it up sometime. So, out of curiosity, are there any other options you’d recommend I watch? And… not to sound rude, but, how much like ‘Power Rangers’ is the Kamen Rider franchise?”
“Believe it or not, Power Rangers is actually the english version of Super Sentai, which is the sister series of Kamen Rider,” said Jack.
Caldoric blinked. “Oh, wow. Definitely didn't know that. So, wait, what’s Super Sentai, then? Nationality wise? It sounds like it’s from somewhere in East Asia or something… no offense! I mean, save for the live-action movie in 2017, I never actually watched Power Rangers, so I’m pretty new to this whole thing.”
“Japan; they actually have a bunch of shows like that,” said Jack. “They have a genre name for it, called Tokusatsu.”
“Isn't that the table thing they all sit under during winter?”
“That’s a kotatsu,”
“Oh, shit,” Caldoric proclaimed with some alarm, “there goes my Weeaboo card…! Quick, arrest me, Jack-Senpai; perhaps, then, I shall be noticed!” Caldoric proceeded to hold out his wrists towards Jack in a “cuff me” gesture.
“Do I look like SPD?” Jack chuckled.
Caldoric raised an eyebrow. “What’s the ‘S’ stand for in this situation?”
“Space Patrol Delta, it’s a Power Rangers series,” said Jack.
“Oh, I thought you meant something like ‘Seattle Police Department’, or someplace else starting with ‘S’.” Caldoric dropped his hands back to his sides and shrugged. “I live near-ish to Seattle, so-- er, well, I used to, before I ended up here… anywho, that’s the first thing that popped into my head. Derp.”
Jack just chuckled, and then the two of them sort of stood there in an increasingly awkward silence for a few moments.
“So,” Caldoric said at last, swinging his arms idly before turning back to the Alchemiter. “Anything else you can think of that needs doing, that I might've missed…? I mean, I know I'm the ‘host’ here, but I’m a bit scatterbrained at times.”
Jack rubbed his chin, “Well, we should get the GDOs printed out, and we should get one of the Toa here to get a lock on Mata Nui, their Mata Nui anyway.”
“Yeah, about that… I have a couple lightstones from my time on the island, so we can probably use those…” Caldoric surmised. “Besides, there’s probably some form of internal dialing buffer or something, like the DHDs in Stargate, that record at least the last few dial-outs. I’ll leave the GDO’s to you, since you did… whatever it was to make that generator.” He then waltzed over to the mess of apparati around the mirror and busied himself with trying to sync it all to a small handful of cheerfully glowing stones.
Jack walked over to the Alchemiter and placed the Radar Switch on it, syncing it back up with the the Rabbit Hutch’s computer. “Let’s see, we’ll need a radio… keypad… perhaps a watch for wrist-mounting… loading… converting to Alchemiter code… processing… schematic-card printing.” Jack held out his hand to a slot as a punch card printed from it. On it was a picture of a device that looked like a cross between a walkie talkie and a home-alarm keypad designed to be worn on the wrist. “How’s it coming?”
The answer to his question came in the form of the card being yanked from his hand by Caldoric, who had apparently been hovering just behind him as he’d worked. “What the heck…?” Caldoric asked, flipping the card over and looking at the back. “This is like no captchalogue code I’ve seen before…”
For indeed, looking at the back, one could see a wavy eight-symbol code comprised of more than the usual English alpha-numerics. There were symbols of all kinds sprinkled in, including one that Caldoric was sure was alchemical in nature. The punched holes were also different from the norm, being in unusual combinations of multi-directional bars and shapes.
“Dude, how'd you get the code like this?” Caldoric asked, handing the card back in amazement. “This shouldn't be possible!”
“Digital cloud uplink for the components, you should probably upgrade your gear,” Jack replied, “I’m going to set the gems for the iris now.”
“Y-yeah, um… sure.” Caldoric acknowledged, still looking warily at the Alchemiter. “I’ll get right on that.”
After a few minutes, Jack had successfully managed to integrate an iris into the structure of the mirror. The oblong shape of the device had provided an amusing challenge for him, but he was still able to overcome it rather easily. He was just putting the final bits of the mirror back together when he heard Caldoric go “Yeep!” in surprise, accompanied by a bit of clattering.
“Anything serious?” asked Jack.
“N-nothing serious…!” Caldoric said, a nervous chuckle escaping him. “Just… made some modifications to the Alchemiter, and I got surprised by something that cropped up…!” When Jack looked over, he saw that the alien-looking laptop had been replaced with a hovering green laser hologram of sorts, along with the addition of a small radar dish on one side. There also appeared to be an enlarged version of his Radar switch embedded in one of the device’s panels.
“I think you’ll want this back,” Caldoric said, chucking something at Jack. When he reached up to catch it, he found he was holding his Radar switch, which he came to realize he’d left over by the Alchemiter.
“How’d you tweak it?” asked Jack as he put it away.
Caldoric held up what looked like an old Polaroid camera, but instead of the usual time-yellowed plastic case, it bore an orange-and-yellow color scheme to it. One corner was strangely notched, like the punch card they’d been fussing over earlier.
“Just snapped a ghost image of your radar switch with this,” Caldoric supplied, “then punched the accompanying code into the resulting card and stuck it into one of these shunt ports, and voilà, instant upgrade. I’m just glad I doubled the number of ports earlier, so I still have room to do more things like this…”
He then pulled one of the colorful cards out of its ports, and the recent modifications vanished. Putting the card back in caused the modifications to re-apply themselves. “Gotta be careful what you mod this with, otherwise it ends up being useless. Like, someone once tried it with, like, a bust of Snoop Dogg, and it ended up as a huge metal statue to the guy. How’s it coming on your end?”
“Looks good, all I need is the spell formula,” said Jack.
“Spell formula?”
“For the shield spell that’ll make the iris.”
“Ah. Well, that means we’re just waiting on--”
“Hello, you two!” Twilight said, walking back into the vault. “What’d I miss?”
“Rocks fell, everyone died,” Caldoric supplied, helpfully.
“What?”
“D&D reference, don’t mind it,” said Jack.
“Okay…?” Twilight replied, unsure. “But, uh, anything happen while I was gone? I mean, I’m sorry I took as long as I did, it wasn't easy tracking down the princesses.”
“90% done, just need the spell formula for the iris and the coordinates for Mata Nui,” Jack replied.
“I can take care of the coordinate stuff later,” Caldoric interjected, “so allow really need is the spell thingy.”
“Oh, well then,” Twilight said, “is that all? Pshh, I could do one of those in my sleep. Here, lemme look at it…” She then moved next to Jack and began conferring with him about the spell’s details. After a few minutes (and several bits of conversation that went over Caldoric's head,) the iris was set up, the missing handmirror-esque piece was reinstalled, and they were ready to go.
“Alright, it’s set for Canterlot High for the test run,” said Jack.
“D'you know what day it is over there, Twi?” Caldoric asked. “Just curious. Might be weird if someone sees us walking out of the statue during school hours.”
Twilight nodded wisely. “It’s Saturday, if I remember properly. And, yes, Spike and I got lucky the last few times we had to go through, so it’s rather for the best that it’s the weekend. Actually, I should send Sunset Shimmer a message telling her we’re coming!” She turned to begin writing in the journal, only for Caldoric to stop her.
“Not right now, Twilight.” He objected. “We’re just doing a quick in-and-out to see if it works, not a full-on field trip. Besides, if you contact her now, she’ll probably want to talk for hours, and we still need to get this goofball home.” Caldoric then hitched his thumb over his shoulder at Jack.
Jack cracked his knuckles before his fingers danced over the control panel. “Setting coordinates: ꔌꔾගޥਣ༬ష… locked in. Engaging.”
As Jack punched in the coordinates, the mirror’s gems began glowing once more, all of them turning a brilliant lavender and energy began flowing from the journal in its slot. Power leapt from the journal to the two lightning-rod-esque prongs, causing the attached bulbs to glow, and the energy fed through tubes to a twin-piston pump of some sort. There, the magic power was flattened and sent through a brief series of rollers, then through another pair of tubes to another pair of thaumic lightning rod, which condensed the energy into a glowing ball in front of the mirror’s surface. The ball split into several beams, each of which struck a gemstone, causing color to start bleeding into the mirror's surface, turning it into a swirling pink vortex. The ball of energy drained away, and vanished. The way was now open for any to pass through to Canterlot High.
“Readings are… steady, excursion is go,” said Jack.
“If only I had a camera, I could do a MALP-on-a-stick,” Caldoric remarked. “Well, assuming I could get a decent stick.”
Twilight shook her head at his nonsense. “So, looks like things are good. I’ll just take a quick step through, see what’s on the other side, then be back before you two can say some ridiculous and arbitrary phrase.” She then ducked through the vortex on the mirror.
Caldoric turned and looked at Jack, with a slightly amused look on his face. “A ridiculous and arbitrary phra--”
“I’m back!” Twilight proclaimed, stepping back through the mirror. “Everything’s just as it should be! Or, well, it seems to be at first observation, but things could be a bit more different than expected, which means we’ll have to do a more in-depth bit of reconnaissance--”
Caldoric placed a finger to her nose, causing her to recoil slightly. “Mirror works.” He reported to Jack, matter-of-factly.
Jack nodded before shutting down the mirror. “Alright, time for me to head home, I have the coordinates scanned from my Token. ནఆꔗ玆؎ⲯסּ… inputted.” Upon activation, a process quite similar to that of the previous activation took place. However, the energy being shuttled around was a brilliant gold, and the gems recolored themselves to match the configuration they’d displayed when Jack first arrived.
“Well, that seems to be that…” Caldoric said. “Save for the big mech-thingy over there that you brought with… oh wait!” Caldoric snapped his fingers and rushed over to the Alchemiter, proceeding to fiddle with the device, his concerned chorus of “um” and “uh” growing more distressed as seconds ticked by, until he suddenly gripped the back of his head and swore.
“That’s never a good sign, is it broken?” asked Jack.
Caldoric turned around, holding up a finger and apparently about to speak, only to be interrupted. Above the Alchemiter's main platform, a series of glowing green gearlike rings appeared, each one spinning opposite to the ones nearest it and smaller than the one below. From this strange apparition dropped a box, wrapped in green paper and tied with a large white bow. There was a note tied to the box, which bore Jack’s name on one side, and it was accompanied by a fluttering letter that had “Caldoric's eyes only” written on the outside.
Once both items had landed, the rings of gears vanished without a sound. The entire event took less than 5 seconds, and Caldoric had missed about a quarter of it.
“What… what was that about?” Twilight asked, highly suspicious.
“I have no idea.” Caldoric said, momentarily taking a step back. However, curiosity quickly got the better of him, and he leaned forward to take the letter addressed to him. After reading it for a few seconds, his eyebrows shot up, and he gave a soft “oh…!” of understanding. “Jack, apparently this is for you, from… me. Not, like, current me, it’s from me sometime in the future.” He then held out the box.
Jack rubbed his eyes as he accepted the box, “And here I hoped I could avoid time travel, gives me a damn headache.” Pulling off the note on top, he gave it a quick read. “Well that’s interesting.” The note read as follows, in a slightly hard to read handwritten text:
Dear Jack,
I hope this finds you well, and before you leave to go back to your version of Equestria, which I’ve heard is doing a right sight better than this one, both present and future (from your perspective, that is.) I seem to remember that time-travel related things gives you a headache, so I’ll keep this brief. I was running quite low on grist when first we met, and as such, I was unable to manufacture any form of parting gift for you. Of course, my future self bailed me out, and as such, I am closing the loop, now that I’ve had both time and ample material to do so.
That said, inside this box you will find the following: a customizable lightsaber, (it will adjust its design and color to fit both you and your personality when you first use it,) a portable combination power hub and WiFi hotspot, (should allow you to connect back to the internet of your home time, so you can't spoil any future episodes of Kamen Rider for yourself,) a portable wrist-mounted Alchemiter, (don't show my past self this one: he needs to think of it on his own!) and, last but not least, a new Switch. This is for all the trouble I put you through back then, as well as my… less-than-favorable attitude.
The Switch will allow you access to a great host of powers and abilities, though I would recommend you not try using it until you’ve at least earned at least another couple States switches. I would hope you’d wait for Cosmic, at least, but you’ve told me you tried sooner, so… no point, really.
If you turn the key-like protrusion one way, it will allow you access to the full range of elemental powers that Toa are capable of affiliating with. If anything, I’d recommend fiddling with this side first, if you're going to. It’s less devastating. These powers include the six you've already seen, (stone, earth, water, fire, air, and ice,) plus the “seventh” element, Light. There’s also electricity, iron, sonics, gravity, magnetism, plasma, psionics, plantlife, and shadow. Be wary of that last one, it tends to corrupt the incautious. I mean it!
Turning the “key” the other way will grant you access to the powers of the “God Tier” aspects from Homestuck. A key point to remember is that these are more abstract in their representation, so never take them at face value. They are as follows: Breath, (air, among other things,) Light, (both illumination AND fate/luck,) Time, Space, Hope, Heart, (basically, souls, but can vary,) Life, Void, Doom, Blood, (sometimes represents unity,) Rage, and Mind.
Both sets of powers will give you a holographic display when activated, allowing you to switch powersets at a whim. However, rapid-fire alternation can and will be draining, so use this cautiously.
Thanks again,
~~Caldoric Stormchaser, Toa of Space.PS: if, er, WHEN my past self asks about the contents of the box, tell him I said he can't see them. If he persists, and I think I did at the time, tell him “stable time loops, brah,” followed by “dead Daves are the enemy.” He’ll understand.
PPS: he’ll need your contact info so you two can occasionally converse. You'll both need it. He’ll know what to do from there.
Jack whistled as he cracked the box open to confirm the contents, “Sweet”. As he went to pack it in the Powerdizer, Cal spoke up.
“Yo, Jack, what’s in the box?” He then paused, and chuckled, muttering something he found amusing.
“I can’t tell you because, just a sec,” Jack flipped the note back open, “‘Stable time loops, brah’ and ‘dead Daves are the enemy’. You know what those mean right?”
Caldoric's face fell. “Yeah, I do…” he said, petulantly, crossing his arms as he did. “I just wanted to see if it was, like, a stuffed bunny or something: that would've been totes ironic. But nooo~ future-me had to be all like Dave, Jade, and Karkat all at once. I can only hope he’s as dissatisfied with this as I am… cuz if he's not, I’m pissed.”
Jack just shrugged, “No clue. He did tell me to give you my number though.” Jack loaded up the box before pulling a business card out of his pocket and handed it him.
“Okay, but… how are we supposed to keep in contact across multiverse like this?” Caldoric said, accepting the card. “I mean, unless you’ve got Pesterchum on one of your computers or something… wait a sec.” He then cocked his head to the side and gave Jack a Look.
“He sent you one of these, didn't he?” He asked at length, pulling out a small green cube, about a foot long on each side, and bearing a cartoonish representation of an atom on each face save for the top. The top bore a single plug slot, of the type used in American electrical outlets. “Should get you endless WiFi and power, and probably access to a copy of Pesterchum. It’s where I found mine… I’ll text you my username real quick.”
A few seconds later, Jack received a short message from what was presumably Caldoric’s number it read, simply, “caldoricStormchaser”
“Point of note: usernames usually come out as one word, with the first letter of the second part capitalized.” Caldoric explained. “Just… shoot me a message, and I’ll try to keep in contact.”
“No problem,” said Jack as he boarded the Powerdizer. “Say goodbye to Pohatu for me?”
“Will do, man. Later.”
Jack gave Caldoric an informal salute as he drove through the portal. Caldoric returned it, and a few seconds later, Twilight shut it down.
“Well then,” she said matter-of-factly, as she turned to look at Caldoric, “that’s that, it seems. Now, since we’re done here, Princess Celestia told me that she and Princess Luna wanted to talk with you as soon as possible. Whiiich probably means now, so we shouldn't keep them waiting--!”
“I’ll be there eventually, don't worry. I just… got a few things to deal with up here.”
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that I can't find Jinka? You know, the Hikaki? Look, you just go on ahead and tell them I’ll be along as soon as I can. Wouldn't want them to think we didn't receive the message and send another messenger, eh?”
Twilight raised a hoof and looked about to protest, but then seemed to think better of it.
“Right, I’ll go do that.” She said after a few seconds of consideration. With a flash of lavender energy and a faint poof, she was gone.
Caldoric heaved a huge sigh and sank to his knees, then flopped over into a nearby pile of junk without a care. “Finally. That was more than enough social interaction for now.” He said. “Though, I actually should be looking for Jinka; I have no clue where he is right now…”
“Not to worry,” said a strange and unfamiliar voice, startling Caldoric. “Your little pet is right here…!”
Caldoric turned and saw the strangest figure he’d ever laid eyes on, and that was saying something, given the last few days. The entity’s head seemed like it was comprised of a hybrid between a skull and an albino scorpion, with five beady red eyes scattered across its face. It wore a large cloak or robe, black and dark grey in fabric, and spruced up with elaborate golden trim and filigree all over. Its hands were clawed, and had something strange protruding from the wide sleeves that guarded the hands themselves. The protrusions looked vaguely like the claws of -- you guessed it -- a scorpion. The stranger’s boots were somewhat elaborate, yet simultaneously unremarkable, save for the single long black spike mounted near the toe. Similar spikes made appearances along the stranger's arms and shoulders, sticking through their robes.
“Jegus, you look like you hit every branch when you fell out of the ugly tree,” Caldoric said, taking an involuntary step back.
“I wouldn't be so crass if I were you,” the stranger replied, gesturing to the bound form of Jinka he held under one arm. “For this one’s sake…”
“Oi, let Jinka go!” Caldoric said. “There’s no call for violence: I was just… startled.”
“And I merely wished to garner your attention.” The stranger released the struggling Hikaki, which quickly escaped its bindings and rushed over to hide behind Caldoric with a low growl.
“Who and what are you, where did you come from, and why are you interested in talking to me?” Caldoric asked.
“You can call me Scorpio,” Scorpio replied, “and I am what’s known as a Zodiart--”
“Wait, like the constellation?” Caldoric interrupted.
“Yes, exactly like the constellation.” Scorpio replied, a little miffed. “In fact, I draw power from the very constellation itself, similarly to young Fourze, whom it seems you’ve become acquainted with. Parallel methods, and such.”
“Oh, you mean Jack? What, you one of his friends, or something? It'd explain the weird getup…”
“Jack?” Scorpio asked, tilting his head. “J-- oh, yes, Jack, yes. Hmm. Indeed, we are pretty well-known to each other. In fact, I was… following him, yes, when he suddenly vanished through a portal in that blast-- er, beautiful yellow machine of his. We were sort of in the middle of something at the time, so I followed him, and wound up here, just in time to see the two of you going off to do… whatever it was.”
By this time, there were a small handful of red flags and alarm bells going off in Caldoric's head, and so he decided to proceed with caution. “Rrrrrright… and, why were you interested in me, again?”
“Oh, yes, that…” Scorpio replied. “You strike me as someone reliable, and as such, I wanted to give you something special for keeping such good care of my good friend. I assume he’s told you about his Astro-Switches by now?”
“A bit, yeah. They're pretty cool, actually.”
“Yes, well… what if I were to tell you that I have a Switch for you?” Scorpio then held up one clawed hand, revealing a small, strange device. “This is a Zodiarts Switch. Use it and, like me, you’ll be able to draw upon the power of a full constellation. That said, there’s no telling which one you’ll get; they’re a bit random, and it’s different for everypony.”
“So, these are basically just McGuffins-of-power that you Zodiarts pass out to folks like cheap cigars?” Caldoric asked. “I mean, there’s a ton of constellations out there, with different sets for every culture--”
“No, we’re not just handing these out like cheap cigars!” Scorpio snapped. “We only give these to special folks. And you, armored one, seem rather special indeed. In fact… I think you might have some potential…”
“Potential for what?” Caldoric asked, sceptically.
“Oh, either you’ll see, or you won't. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise if you do.” Scorpio teased. “That is… if you accept this gift…” He offered the device to Caldoric again, more insistently this time. “Simply take a chance, and… make a wish upon a star.”
Caldoric chewed his lip for a second, then took the small item and turned it over in his hands. It had an unexpected weight to it, and rattled slightly as he moved it. Its profile looked quite like one of those clear-domed slushie cups one finds at gas stations and some food courts. However, the dome on the device was silver, not clear, and had a prominent red button where the straw hole would be. The body of the Switch was deep black, with silver inlay entwined around it in multiple designs. There was something almost ominous about it, despite its seemingly harmless nature.
“Good, good,” Scorpio remarked. “You’ll want to save that for a rainy day. Perhaps, when you need a power boost…?” The sly tone to his words gave Caldoric the feeling he’d just walked into something he was going to regret, but he was sure he couldn't easily back down from it now. “In any case, it’s time I got back to my world, and left you to your own devices. So, if you wouldn't mind firing up the mirror again, and sending me back…?”
“Uh, yeah… sure…” Caldoric nervously typed in the code for Jack’s Equestria, and the portal hummed to life in seconds. With a nod, a salute, and a parting remark of “Goodbye… for now,” Scorpio was gone. Caldoric quickly shut down the portal and activated the iris, just to be safe. Jinka whined behind him
“Oh, jegus… he didn't harm you, did he?” Caldoric asked the robotic raptor, pulling him close. Jinka merely nuzzled him for comfort, though whom was meant to be on the receiving end was unclear. “Gods, that guy gave me the creeps… I’m not sure I shouldn't chuck this thing in the trash… then again, if I do, odds are it'll bite me in the ass. I guess I’ll just have to hold onto this then…” He clenched the Switch firmly, yet cautiously, as if it’d explode if he weren't careful. He turned his head to look at the letter he’d dropped earlier, from his future self.
“Why didn't I write about this…?” He wondered aloud. “Just how important is this…?” He shook his head, and stuffed the switch in his pocket, then froze. When he pulled his hand back out again, he was holding a set of keys on a carabiner. His attention was taken up in that moment by two key fobs on said carabiner, which seemed to drive him into a bit of a fury.
“Damnit, I could've flown us there and back…!” He shouted, shaking the hand holding the keys at the ceiling. “What kind of a fucking idiot am I?!”
