//------------------------------// // You Can't Outrun The Past // Story: Tainted Silver // by Bluecatcinema //------------------------------// “Help me! Please help me!” A voice caught Sterling's attention. “What the-?” Sterling frowned. He glanced back and forth, trying to regain his bearings. He was quick to realize that he was out in the desert. While all around him was sand, Sterling could make out city walls nearby, recognizing it as his hometown. “...Cairode?” Sterling winced. “What am I doing here? Is this a dream?” “Sterling! Help me!” Sterling froze in shock. He glanced forth, and saw the old well that he and Gold used to go to. And he knew that voice anywhere. “Gold?!” Sterling whispered, “What the hell…” Sterling quickly made his way towards the well. As he did, he quickly noticed there was somepony already looking into it. A teenage colt with a pale brown coat and a shaggy mane… “Wait… is that Crystal?” Sterling whispered, “Why is he…” Immediately, Sterling’s eyes lit up in realization and dread. “Oh no…” Sterling whispered. Quickly, Sterling made his way over, next to the young Crystal Cross, who seemed to not take heed of the grown stallion, as he begrudgingly looked down the well. Sure enough, he saw the young Golden Cross, standing in hoof-deep water, holding a soggy dog doll, tears streaming his face as he was crying horribly. “Sterling, please!” Gold bawled. Sterling felt himself quiver with shame as he heard the colt’s cry. He knew why he was in the well, and he knew why Crystal was here. It was a day Sterling remembered well. He and Gold had made their way over to the well, as they usually did, so that Gold could make his wish. However, he had a habit of bringing his stuffed dog doll with him everywhere. The well was no different. Whenever he went to make his wish, Gold would set the doll on the side of the well, and Sterling would help him up so he could throw his bit in. But this one time, Gold accidentally knocked his doll over, and it fell right into the well. He remembered how distraught Gold was, whimpering and trying to reach down for his doll before Sterling stopped him. Gold pleaded with Sterling to get it back, begging incessantly, as any child missing their favorite toy would. He recalled how hesitant he was to do so, not wanting to go to all the trouble just to get some doll… but he knew how much it meant to his little brother, and he also knew that if his mother saw her ‘favorite’ son upset, she would more than certainly blame him. Telling Gold to stay put, Sterling went and got some rope. On the way, he crossed paths with Crystal, who, after hearing what was going on, made an uncharacteristic offer of help. Sterling didn’t question his motives, glad of the help. The two came back with the rope, and Sterling suggested making it into a lasso so they could pull the doll out. However, Crystal claimed that the doll was too small for that, instead suggesting that one of them would be lowered into the well to retrieve it. He convinced Sterling to lower Gold into the well, on that the grounds that he was the lightest. The plan seemed to be working well; Gold was successfully lowered into the well, and got back the doll. But then… “Help me!” Gold cried once more. The cry snapped Sterling out of his thoughts. He glanced down at his hooves, finding that his body had reverted to that of the young teen colt he was that day… and that he was holding a length of rope. The very same length of rope he had found that day. Sterling didn’t bother to question how this was so, as he became more focused on saving Gold. "Hang on, Gold!" He called out to Gold. "I'm coming!" As Sterling made to throw down the rope, Crystal suddenly snatched his hoof with his own. "Not yet, Sterling." Crystal ordered. "Help me!" Gold yelled again. “Come on, don’t do this, not now!” Sterling pleaded with him. He felt he had spoken these words before, “it’s dark down there! He’s afraid of the-” "Not. Yet!" Crystal hissed. "Please!" Gold pleaded, hugging the wet toy to his chest Sterling slowly moved the rope over. "Throw him the rope, and I'll throw you in there, too." Crystal snarled, grabbing Sterling's hoof tightly, “And it’s gonna hurt!” Sterling dropped the rope, terrified. "Good call." Crystal smirked. "Now... let's go." "What?!" Sterling gasped. "We can't just leave him!” “Quit your whinin’.” Crystal scoffed, “It’s not like he’s gonna drown in a foot of water. Besides, he needs to learn a lesson about dropping stupid baby toys in wells!” “Come on, this is going too far!” Sterling growled, “What will mom say when he notices he’s gone?!” "Don't worry, Sterling." Crystal smirked. "We'll come back for him... eventually. Now let’s go!" Crystal forcefully dragged Sterling away from the well. "Sterling, please!" Gold pleaded. "Don't leave me!" "Don't look back." Crystal told Sterling coldly. “But Crys, he’s our-” Sterling started. "Keep going." Crystal demanded. "Unless you want to join him too?" "I..." Sterling tried to rebut… but was too scared to say anything. “Hmph, that’s what I thought.” Crystal sneered, as he slapped him on the back of the head, “Now, keep moving!” Sterling grimaced from the pain. Unable to stand up to his brother, Sterling could only continue forward. Suddenly, there was a rush of air. Sterling felt as if he was flying away from the well at high speed... Though Gold's cries for help sounded as if he was right in front of it. The well itself vanished into darkness, Gold's screams as loud as ever. "STERRRRLIIIIING!!" Gold screamed. The scream was immediately followed by a sickening thud. “Gaaah!” Sterling sat up, his eyes lit with horror. The stallion found himself again on the couch in the homestead’s living room. It was the middle of the night, the room pitch black. "Huh, huh, huh..." He breathed heavily, cold sweat running down his face, holding his hoof to his chest. The images and sounds from his nightmare continued running through his head… only that nightmare wasn’t a nightmare, but rather him reliving another horrible memory from his childhood. It wasn’t his worst memory, but the nightmare hit close to home… too close. And frankly, Sterling had had enough. ’That’s it. Sterling thought angrily, ’I’m buckin’ done. Done with all this bullcrap. It’s bad enough I’ve been having these visions since I came here. Now, I’m starting to have nightmares?! Well, no more! Whatever money I have now, it’ll have to do! I am outta here!’ Sterling quickly grabbed the bits he'd earned from working in the orchards (which he kept under his pillow), as well as his old jacket. He pulled out his mirror, and held it up. 'I really should get rid of this.' He thought. 'That way, I won't be tempted to call the Forefathers...' Despite his own thoughts, Sterling couldn't bring himself to discard the mirror. '...Best to keep it.' He told himself. 'Might... might come in useful someday... somehow...' After all his possessions were gathered, Sterling quietly slipped out the door, and made his way off the homestead. He headed through the path to town, eager to depart before the sun rose. As he reached Dodge Junction, Sterling's thoughts focused on all the ponies he'd met during his stay there. Big Red, his family, and of course, Shooting Star. As he thought of all of them, he felt a twinge of sadness. ’Dammit. I hate to just leave without so much as a goodbye.’ Sterling thought sadly, before shaking his head, ’Snap out of it, Sterling. It’s for the best. It’d only be a matter of time before I do something that ruins their lives, just like I’ve ruined the lives of others before them. You’re better off alone. No risk of hurting anypony that way…’ As Sterling made his way through the silent town, he glanced around, taking in the sights of Dodge Junction for the last time. 'Big Red, Cherry, boys... Shooting.' He thought sadly. 'This is for the best. You're all better off without me. I’ll never forget any of you...' His head lowered, Sterling marched his way through town, focused on getting out of town… but just as he was almost out, he stopped in his tracks, something having caught his eyes. “What the…” Sterling murmured. There was somepony standing at the edge of town, in the middle of the street. Sterling was confused, wondering what anypony would be doing out here in the middle of the night… well, anypony that wasn’t a pony on the run from a secret organization. But as he approached the pony, Sterling started to notice some familiar traits, such as an orange coat, a brown mane tied in a bun, and wings... Then, he noticed the sheath on his hip, holding what Sterling knew without looking was a red-bladed katana. Only one pony he knew ever had a katana like that… “Jetstream.” Sterling whispered. The pony turned around, indeed revealing the scarred face of Jetstream. The pegasus gave a wry grin. “Sterling. Fancy meeting you here.” Jetstream smirked. Sterling was stunned, having not given much thoughts about Jetstream since earlier in the month… but his stunned expression soon gave way to annoyance. "Typical." He scoffed. "And here I thought I was going to be able to leave without any more of you showing up." “Hmm, that’s some greetings to give to a old friend, wouldn’t you say?” Jetstream joked. "Don't suppose there's any chance of you leaving me alone?" Sterling asked tiredly. "Sorry, but no." Jetstream replied. "Knew it was a long shot." Sterling sighed. "...Okay, give me your speech. I already had four guys tell me how horrible I am, and the last one just made me feel bad about how horrible I am. Whatever you got, just give it to me and give it quick.. I'm in a hurry here." “I only wish to chat, my friend.” Jetstream declared. "No time to 'chat' right now." Sterling said bluntly. "That's all you to say after all these years?" Jetstream declared. "After all that's happened? After everything we've been through together." "...Okay, fine." Sterling groaned. "Classic guilt strategy... just make it quick." Jetstream stepped forward, appraising Sterling. “Just look at you…” He smiled. “It feels like yesterday that you were just this scrawny young pup I met that day in the mountains, and now look: you’ve grown so much, become the stallion I always thought you could be, the stallion I knew my and Loveless’s training would mold you into.” "Yeah, well, I had good teachers." Sterling admitted. “Oh, those were the days, weren’t they?” Jetstream grinned. “Fighting the good fight, standing together in pursuit of a common goal, true brothers in arms.” “Yeah…” Sterling nodded. He missed those days too. Then he shook his head. “But those days are over. They’re in the past. You’re not my teache anymore. You’re not even alive.” “Wow, rub it in, why don’t you?” Jetstream deadpanned. “Oh, spare me. You’re just another illusion.” Sterling growled, his eyes filled with sorrow, “The Jetstream I knew… he killed himself. All you are is just another memory of a pony I once cared about. A memory I don’t want to remember.” "Because it makes you too angry?" Jetstream asked. "Or ashamed that you ever knew him?" "No," Sterling shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. "I grieved for Jetstream for two weeks. He was my teacher, my friend. No matter terrible things he'd done, I'd miss him. I miss everypony I've lost over the years. The pain never gets better, only worse. I just can't take it anymore..." “Is that why you’re running away?” Jetstream frowned, “Why you’ve gone into hiding? I’m surprised. Despite how much you despise the word, you are turning out to be quite the coward.” “Don’t you start with me!” Sterling snarled, “I am not a coward! I didn't join the Forefathers to be part of crazy terrorist attacks! I joined the Forefathers because I wanted to make a difference, make the world a better place, to…" “To be a hero, right?” Jetstream asked. “...Yes.” Sterling sighed, “That was all I wanted way back when…” “I know the feeling, my friend.” Jetstream smiled sadly, “I was a lot like you when I was your age. I wanted to be a hero too, just like my grandfather was. But somewhere along the way, after I joined the Forefathers, I turned my back on all that. In doing so, it led me to do awful things, leading me to foolishly betray the Forefathers and running away, becoming a coward myself.” "Don't be so hard on yourself..." Sterling frowned, “You had no idea about how your grandfather died. Nor how it was those two agents’ faults that they got those crossbows. It was all a big misunderstanding…” “Yeah, kinda wish I knew that earlier.” Jetstream grimaced… before it turned to a scowl, “But what's your excuse for being a coward?” “Excuse me?” Sterling grunted. “You heard me.” Jetstream glared, “What you’re doing is no different from what I’ve done all those years ago. You know what happened to me in the end. Yet here you are. What makes you think that things are going to turn out differently for you?” “Hey, I’m leaving so that nopony in this town gets killed by whoever Father sends to hunt me down!” Sterling snapped, “I just want to go somewhere where nopony knows who am I and where no one can get hurt because of me!” “Oh, you garoto estupido.” Jetstream growled in exasperation. “Me and Loveless taught you better than that! The Sterling I knew wouldn’t run away!” “Well, the Jetstream I knew wouldn’t had betrayed his comrades. Looks like we were both disappointed.” Sterling snorted. “Sterling… why do you think I started teaching you in the first place?” Jetstream demanded, “It was because me and Loveless saw something in you. Something that no other ponies before or since then ever had. I saw the makings of a strong and noble warrior. That’s why I was so hard on you… not so that you would become like me… so that you could become something better.” "Yeah, well... you were wrong." Sterling declared. "I'm not strong, or noble." Sterling proceeded to walk past Jetstream. “...Do you remember my last words, Sterling?” Jetstream asked. Sterling stopped in his tracks. “‘No matter what happens, don’t let them change you…’” Jetstream recited, word for word, “...And yet… you changed.” “Change happens to everypony, Jetstream.” Sterling growled, as he turned to face him, “I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, but at this point, I'm used to being a disappointment.” "You're not a disappointment, Sterling." Jetstream retorted. "Sure I'm not." Sterling snorted. "It doesn’t have to be this way, you know." Jetstream urged. "You could still be a hero." "No, I couldn't." Sterling retorted. "All the others before you thought differently... and they're right. I can never be a hero." “Did you ever stop to think about why it is you’re being haunted?” Jetstream crossed his hooves, “Or why you’ve been seeing not just me, but all the other faces from your past?” “Well, I can only assume it’s from all the guilt and regret running through my head.” Sterling scoffed, “Why the hell you all waited till now to make me feel like crap is beyond me.” “Hmm, that is a reasonable assumption.” Jetstream mused, “...Or maybe we’re all trying to help you realize something… something you’ve all but forgotten.” “Well, some things should be forgotten." Sterling scoffed. "It’s like Loveless said all those years ago. The past is in the past. There’s nothing that can be done about it.” "Loveless was a pretty good teacher." Jetstream admitted. "He was compassionate, and always made time to help them when they were struggling, even if it was something outside his lessons." “...Yeah, Loveless was great like that.” Sterling sighed wistfully. “However…” Jetstream glanced firmly at Sterling, “I don’t agree with all of his teachings. He’s a wise stallion, but he isn’t right about everything.” Sterling was about to retort, when he heard a noise. "Help! Help!" It sounded like a colt. "Did that sound like-?" Sterling turned back to Jetstream, only to find he had vanished. "Okay, then..." "Help!" The colt cried again. Sterling followed the sound of the colt's voice, which led him to an old well. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me..." He groaned. Seeing the well, living through the same scenario again, filled Sterling with cold dread. "Help me, please!" The colt's voice screamed desperately. Hesitantly, Sterling approached the well. It was still too dark to see who was down there. "Hey! You okay in there, kid?" Sterling asked. "Help, please!" The colt begged. "I'm scared!" "It'll be okay, I promise." Sterling pledged. "I'll go and get help!" Sterling ran back into town. He knew this was going to put a kink in his plan of leaving, but he needed to get help, and get it now. "Help!" He yelled at the top of his voice. "Somepony help!" Light flickered on in several houses as the occupants stirred. "Somepony get out here!" Sterling called. "There's trouble!" “I’ll say! Somepony woke me up too early!” One irritated citizen yelled out of his window. "Didn't you hear me?" Sterling called. "It's an emergency!" "Go away!" Another pony yelled. "Somepony, get out here and help!" Sterling demanded. “Will you shut up?!” A bald fat pony shouted, “Ponies are trying to sleep!” "Sterling!" Sterling turned to see Marshall behind him, carrying a lantern, and wearing an annoyed look on his face. “Marshall!” Sterling gasped. "Mind telling me why you're running around, making all this racket so early in the morning?" He snarled. “Oh, I never thought I’d be so glad to see you!” Sterling smiled. "The feeling isn't mutual." Marshall scoffed. "Now, again, what do you think you're doing?" "Trying to get help!" Sterling retorted. "There's a kid who's fallen down this old well. Since you're the Sheriff, I'd say that's something that should interest you." "A kid in a well?" Marshall frowned. "How'd he end up down there at this time of night?" "Who knows?" Sterling shrugged. "What matters is that the kid needs help! Come on!" Sterling raced back to the well, Marshall following. "Okay, lawboy, do your thing." Sterling told Marshall. “Alright, alright,  take it easy.” Marshall grimaced as he approached the well. Holding up his lantern, Marshall peered down the well. He paused for a moment… before looking at Sterling. "... Okay, what's going on here?" Marshall asked, a confused look on his face. "What do you mean 'what's going on'?" Sterling frowned. "I already told you, there's a kid stuck down there!" "Sterling, are you feeling okay?" Marshall asked, his expression changing to one of concern. "Forget me, help the kid!" Sterling urged. "Get to saving him already!" "I don't think you understand-" Marshall shook his head. "No, you don't understand!" Sterling yelled. "Get down there and help him! Or are you worried about getting your precious shiny badge dirty, ya coward?" “Whoa, take it easy, Sterling-” Marshall tried to placate him, placing his left hoof on his shoulder. “Don’t you patronize me!” Sterling grabbed the hoof, “Not when you're blatantly ignoring your duty, you useless-!” "Sterling!" Marshall roared. Instantly, he forced his hoof free from Sterling’s grip and grabbed Sterling by the neck. “What the- let me go!” Sterling snarled. Without another word, Marshall pulled Sterling to the well, and forced his head downwards. and forced him to look down the well. "Look, Sterling! Look!" Marshall ordered. With the light from Marshall's lantern, Sterling could see that the well was empty. "What?!" Sterling spluttered, bewildered. "I... I heard..." “There’s nopony down there!” Marshall declared fiercely. By that point, several ponies were on the streets, having been awakened by either Sterling's cries for help or his yelling at Marshall. "What's going on?" One mare asked. "Another midnight ruckus?" An older stallion groaned. "False alarm, folks." Marshall told them. "Go back to sleep, nothing to see here." The citizens of Dodge Junction sourly went back indoors. Marshall then turned to Sterling, who was still staring at the well. "I don't get it." Sterling muttered. "I heard him..." "Okay, I think you need to go back to Red and Cherry's place." Marshall sighed. Marshall dragged Sterling back to the homestead. Sterling was so confused by what had just happened, he barely put up a fight. Big Red and Cherry were sleeping peacefully when they were awoken by the sound of knocking. "What in tarnation?" Big Red groaned. "Who could be calling at this hour?" Cherry yawned. "May as well see who it is." Big Red got out of bed. "Before they wake up the boys..." "I'll come with you." Cherry followed. "I want to give our visitor a piece of my mind." They made their way down to the front, opening it to find Marshall and a not-well-looking Sterling. "Sterling?" Big Red frowned. "Marshall?" Cherry asked. "What's going on?" "Sterling was just acting like a crazy pony, that's what's going on." Marshall said bluntly. "I'm telling you, I heard something!" Sterling said defensively. "Heard what?" Big Red asked. “Sterling woke up half the town, raving about some colt stuck in the well.” Marshall clarified, “When I went to check, I found the thing was totally empty." "Is that true, Sterling?" Cherry asked. "I swear, I heard a voice calling from inside the well." Sterling insisted. "I really did..." "I'm sure you thought you did." Marshall announced. He leaned in Big Red's direction. "Which may be the problem here." "What are you gettin' at, Marshall?" Big Red frowned. “I’m saying perhaps you should rethink letting Sterling stay here.” Marshall said firmly. “Marshall…” Cherry chided. “Oh, buck, this again?” Big Red growled. “Big Red, he’s hearing things.” Marshall grunted, “Unless the definition of good mental health has changed recently, that’s not a good sign!” “Days ago, you called Sterling a dadgum criminal. Now ya sayin’ he’s insane?!” Big Red seethed. “When ya goin’ to give it a rest?!” “Hey, I'm just stating the facts." Marshall retorted. "Tonight, he was imagining a colt in distress. Tomorrow, he might get told by a leprechaun to burn things!" “Now yer just bein’ plum stupid!” Big Red yelled, “We’ve been through this before, Marshall! Ah won't stand fer you badmouthing Sterling!" “He’s losing it, Red!” Marshall resisted, “It’s bad enough having a criminal in our town! But if he’s going insane, he’ll become a real danger for everypony around him!” "Ya jest want an excuse tah lock him up, don't ya?" Big Red spat. "Jest 'cause he's sweet on yer sister!" "Do not bring Shooting into this!" Marshall shot back. "It's true, ain't it?" Big Red sneered. "Ya resent Sterling for catchin' her eye, jest like ya resented me all those years fer catchin' Cherry's!" "This is completely different!" Marshall spat. "And why are you bringing that up after all this time?" "Because what yer doin' with Sterling is remindin' me of how unbelievably petty ya can be!" Big Red scowled. Sterling barely acknowledged the argument raging over him. He was too lost in his own self-doubts. 'Did I really just imagine that kid's voice?' He asked himself. 'I was already seeing ponies who aren't there. Now I'm seeing ponies who never even existed...' “For cryin’ out loud, this is not about me!” Marshall snapped, “This is about protecting Dodge Junction! I don’t even want to lock him up anymore! I just want him out of here so he doesn’t lure his Forefather friends here!” "Even if that wuz gonna happen, it hasn't!" Big Red retorted. "And if it hasn't happened by now, it won't ever happen!" "Forgive me if I don't accept your flawless logic." Marshall said bluntly. "Now yer callin' me stupid?!" Big Red growled. "Red, please." Cherry pleaded. "I'm sure that wasn't his intention..." "It wasn't." Marshall admitted. "It's not Red's intelligence I'm questioning. It's his character judgment." "It still sounds like ya think Ah'm sum kinda idiot!" Big Red scowled. "I don't!" Marshall insisted. "I'm just trying to look out for you!" "And why d'ya think ya gotta do that?" Big Red demanded. “Because you’re like a brother to me!” Marshall snapped. The word "brother" cut through the mental fog in Sterling's mind. He couldn’t recall the last time he ever heard that word, but as he did, memories of the past began to flood into his mind… memories of Gold... "You're the greatest, Sterling!" "You know the best games!" "Wanna go to the well, Sterling?" "I love you, big bro." “Sterling?” “Sterling!” “Sterling, help me!” Sterling remained stoic… but something within him began to give way. His face began to crumble, and Sterling, despite his efforts, felt his eyes watering. "Brother, huh?" Big Red scoffed. "Ya got a funny way of expressin' yer 'brotherly love', if ya ask me." "I just want to protect you." Marshall declared. "You, Cherry, the boys... You're all important to me." "That's... good of ya to say." Big Red declared, his anger diminishing. "But we don’t need protectin' from Sterling." He turned to Sterling. "Right, Sterling?" But as he did, he instantly noticed the tears streaming Sterling’s cheeks, as the stallion was quivering. Cherry and Marshall were quick to take notice as well. "Sterling?" Cherry asked worriedly. "What's wrong?" Big Red forgot the argument. "What now?" Marshall frowned. “I…” Sterling began, but his voice was barely audible, struggling to keep in his sobs. “I… Grr… Arrhh!” Sterling darted out the homestead, running towards the orchard. “Sterling!” Big Red and Cherry gasped. “Hey, get back here!” Marshall yelled, ready to give chase. "Get back here!" Marshall tried to give chase. "Hold it right there." Big Red stopped him by holding out his hoof. "I'll take care of this. Sterling needs a friend right now, and that ain't you." Marshall offered no protests as Big Red followed after Sterling. "Ah jest hope he didn't get far..." Big Red muttered as he ran between the trees. Fortunately, Sterling hadn't gone too far. Big Red found him leaning against a tree, tears still streaming down his eyes, sobbing horribly. "Sterling?" Big Red called. "Go... Away..." Sterling said between sobs. "Can't do that, pal." Big Red shook his head. "Ah'm not going anywhere. So ya may as well tell me what's weighin' on yer mind. Sumthin' tah do with wells an' li'l colt's, ah reckon.” "I don't want to talk about it." Sterling sniffed. "And talking about it sure won't change anything." "Sumtimes, jest talkin' it through helps ya see things in a whole different light." Big Red smiled. "There's no light in the world that can make this better." Sterling said stubbornly, clenching his hooves. "Can't hurt tah try." Big Red retorted. "Unless yer afraid." “...You really want to know, don’t you?” Sterling growled. “I just wanna help ya, Sterling.” Big Red whispered, “Ya shouldn’t have to shut ponies out.” “Yeah, I do…” Sterling turned to face Big Red, twisted in silent agony, “There are things about me… that you wouldn’t like to know.” “We all have our baggages, Sterling…” Big Red frowned. “It’s different.” Sterling insisted, “You’re… good.” “Well, so are you.” Big Red whispered. Sterling shook his head in frustration. “No, I’m not…” Sterling grunted, “You may know I was a Forefather, Red, but you still don’t know everything about me.” “Then tell me.” Big Red declared. Sterling glanced at Big Red… then, wiping his eyes, he let out a harrowing sigh. “Well, you should know that I lied about where I came from. I never came from Vanhoover… my hometown was actually Cairode, in the country of Haygypt.” “Cairode, huh?” Big Red raised a brow, “...Well, considerin’ ya never complained about the heat, I reckon ya had some experience with that.” "Yeah, dead giveaway." Sterling shrugged. "So... what wuz it like over there?" Big Red asked, hoping to keep the conversation going. "Did ya have friends?" "Yeah." Sterling shrugged. "Good family?" Big Red urged. "Not really." Sterling scowled. "Well, except for Gold..." "Gold?" Big Red asked. "My little brother." Sterling admitted. "Ya got a li'l brother?" Big Red gasped. "Had a little brother." Sterling corrected him. "Not anymore." “...What happened?” Big Red asked Sterling took a deep breath. “You know, Big Red? I envy you.” Sterling sighed, “Before I met you, I didn’t really have a clear idea of what it meant to truly have a family… but seeing how much you and Cherry loved your kids, especially considerin’ how they weren’t your own... I can’t help but think why I didn’t have that way back when.” “What do you mean? Didn’t your parents love you?” Big Red asked, concerned. “Hmph, love…” Sterling scoffed, “My mother was a social-climbing elitist tha didn’t give two craps about anypony except herself and her inflated ego. She acted like she was the queen of the everything, demanding perfection wherever she looked… but me and my older brother… we never fit the description… and she made us suffer for it, every frickin’ day…” “Wait, so yer sayin’ yer mama…” Big Red gaped. “That’s right.” Sterling growled, as he continued, “As for my father… if he did loved us, he was too damn scared to show it. He never added to the abuse… but he sure as hell didn’t do a thing to stop it. He could never argue with mom, let alone get in her way if she wanted something.” "Now that's jest wrong." Big Red frowned. "That fella wasn't doin' his fatherly duty..." "But they weren't even the worst of it." Sterling scowled. "The worst was Crystal, my older brother. Mom treated him just as badly as she treated me, and he took it all out on me. Every day, he'd torment and torture me, never leaving me alone, always making sure to inflict as much on me a possible." "That's... that's terrible." Big Red grimaced. "Musta bin a pretty lousy childhood after all." “Yeah… life wasn’t all that great.” Sterling shook his head… but he gave a sad smile, “But I had Gold… and Gold had me. And that was good enough for me…” He laughed a little. “Not to brag, but Gold adored me. In his eyes, I could do no wrong. I was the best big brother he could ask for. He and I actually had this thing we did every week… there was this well, outside of Cairode. It was a nearly dried up well that nopony used anymore. We would go and toss in coins and make wishes. Every time, we would go together to that well, no matter how hurt, how tired, or how upset… I would always go with him. Because when I was with Gold, I felt… felt… whole.” “...But?” Big Red asked knowingly. “...One day, I just forgot.” Sterling lowered his head, his eyes watering once more, “I just was so focused on getting away from the rest of my family that day that it slipped my mind that I had already made plans with Gold. I was completely oblivious for the rest of the day” He sniffed, a tear falling from his cheek, “But when I came home… I saw a royal guard that I used to know way back when… and I saw my parents, both of them crying. That was when I was told…” He closed his eyes, trying to not sob again, “That my baby brother was dead… that he had fallen into the well.” “Oh, Sterling…” Big Red whispered, “I’m so sorry…” "Why?" Sterling asked. "I'm the one who messed up. I should have been there." "It wasn't yer fault, Sterling." Big Red declared. "What happened to your little brother… it was an accident.” “No…” “Beg pardon?” Big Red paused. “No, it wasn’t.” Sterling said angrily, “Gold’s death was no accident… he was murdered.” “Murdered?” Big Red gasped, “...Murdered by who?” “...Crystal. My older brother.” Sterling said simply, spite in his voice. “He killed him.” “...Sterling… ya can’t be serious.” Big Red murmured, mortified by such a thought, “How can ya think yer big brother murdered…” He couldn’t finish the sentence. “You don’t get it.” Sterling scowled, “Crystal always hated Gold. Ever since he was born. Tormenting him was his favorite hobby… what more, when he can’t be bothered to do it, he forced me to torment him.” "He made you hurt yer own li'l brother?!" Big Red gaped. “Yes, and the worst part is, I let him." Sterling growled. "Every single day, I let Crystal turn me into his own personal instrument of torture, brought so much pain upon my little brother… I was so afraid of him. And he knew it.” More tears streamed down his face, “I tried my hardest to protect Gold from him… but the one time I failed to do just that… and he was gone… my little brother was gone.” “And you really think that Crystal was the one who killed him?” Big Red frowned. “...You know, you sounded just like everypony else. Back then” Sterling growled, “No one believed me… but I knew. I knew deep down, in my heart and my soul, that Crystal pushed him. I tried telling everypony I knew. The Vanguards, my therapist, my teachers, even my own parents. But no one listened.” "That's terrible." Big Red gasped. “Yeah, it is…” Sterling grimaced, “Eventually, my mom thought it was best that I’d be sent over to a military academy over in Deerbai, to ‘iron me out’, as she put it. But I knew she just didn’t want to bother with me anymore.” “...What exactly did you do then?” Big Red questioned hesitantly. "I managed to get escape by stealing some gunpowder from their storeroom, making it look a fire had started." Sterling declared. "In the confusion, I managed to slip away." "And after that?" Big Red asked. "I headed back to Cairode." Sterling said coldly. "Being sent to that school was the last straw. I was just so sick of it all. My pushy mother, my spineless father, my bullying brother... I hated Crystal most of all. I heard about how he would be looking after home while our parents were on vacation. I waited until night fell, and then... I set the place on fire." "You what?!" Big Red gasped. "But... he was yer brother, even if he was a lousy bully." "I'm sorry if that shocks you, Red." Sterling sighed. "But I just didn't care. I didn't care what happened… all I wanted was for him to be dead." Big Red stared, disturbed. before his eyes, Sterling’s anger and darkness gave way to true sadness… “...But… it didn’t work.” Sterling shook his head. “Crystal was able to get out somehow, and I was soon arrested and put in a juvenile correction facility. And I would've been headin’ straight for prison… had it not been for the Forefathers.” “So… that’s how you came to be with them?” Big Red asked tentatively, “They broke you out of juvie, and you’ve been with them ever since.” “...Yeah..” Sterling admitted, “When I was in juvie, I thought that was it, that my life was over… but the Forefathers came and gave me a second chance. I thought if maybe I couldn’t avenge Gold… I could honor him, by helping the Forefathers make a better world for all of us… something Gold would had wanted if he was still alive.” "How did that work for ya?" Big Red asked. "I thought I was doing the right thing, working for the Forefathers." Sterling sighed. "But that started to change after I met a certain pair of ponies. After that, I realized the Forefathers had also changed. I just couldn't live that life anymore. I didn't want to be the terrorist and murderer everypony had made me out to be." "Oh, Sterling..." Big Red shook his head sadly. “Everything I have done up to this point, I’ve done it for Gold.” Sterling declared firmly, “To make up for letting him die. To become a hero… but that’s pretty much impossible now.” "No, it ain't." Big red shook his head. "Everypony's got it in 'em tah be a hero, even you." "Yeah, right." Sterling scoffed. "It's true." Big red insisted. "All that's needed is fer you to do the right thing!" "'Do the right thing'?" Sterling snarled, temper flaring up again. "The right thing?! You say that like it's so Faust-damn easy! I’m not you, Big Red! I’m not some pillar of the community, the perfect husband and father. I've tried to do the right thing all my life, and it always buckin' blew up in my face! I tried to get justice for Gold, only to fail and get thrown in juvie. I tried to honor my memories by serving the Forefathers, but I end up taking part in so many criminal acts I could write a novel about it...” "Try an' calm down, Sterling." Big red urged. "And now I've been forced to go on the run, hunted by the autorities and my former comrades." Sterling continued, oblivious to Big Red's words. "I'm a wanted criminal, hated by so many ponies as a cowardly monster... I'll probably never be able to feel safe for the rest of my life. All because I made every wrong choice I could possibly make!" He punched a nearby tree hard, causing a downpour of cherries to fall. ...With a defeated sigh, Sterling leaned against the tree, slouching to the ground. “...I have nothing left.” Sterling said despondently, “Nothing but demons and pieces of what could had been…” "Sterling..." Big Red sighed. "Ya gotta cheer up, pal. I know things look bad, but there's still hope for ya." "Oh, really?" Sterling scoffed. "And how would you know?" "Because Ah've bin where you are, Sterling." Big Red declared. "Really?" Sterling said coldly. "I doubt that. Your life’s nowhere near as crappy as mine." “Hey, ya ain’t the only one with demons. Ah know ah’ve had sum of mah own over the years.” Big Red admitted. His mind went to that of a beloved one who haunted him back to before he adopted the boys, “...Ones that dogged me fer a good long time. Yer not alone, ya know." "Seriously?" Sterling asked, admittingly surprised. "But you've got it so good here. What demons could you possibly had?" "Ah didn't get tah where Ah am without facing some major hardships." Big Red remarked. "Make no mistake, there were plenty of those." “And how did you deal with these demons?” Sterling asked. “Simple. Ah faced them all head on.” Big Red declared, “And ya need to do the same.” “Face my demons? Really?” Sterling grimaced. “Ah’m serious.” Big Red said firmly, “If ya asked me, ya been shelterin’ some nasty ones ever since yer little brother died. Ah don’t know what actually happened, but Ah know that ya will never find peace with yerself until you deal with them.” “Well, there’s a problem with that.” Sterling admitted, lowering his head, “I don’t know if I can…” “Of course ya can.” Big Red smiled, “Ah know it’ll hurt. Ah know it’ll be hard. But Ah have faith that ya can do it. Yer a lot stronger than ya really think.” “Yeah, right.” Sterling scoffed, “I’m a coward, Big Red. I’ve been running from all the awful things all my life… why do you think I was out in Dodge Junction in the middle of the night?” “...I reckon it had nothing to do with hallucinating colts in wells?” Big Red deadpanned. “No… I was running… again.” Sterling bowed his head in shame, “Ever since I came here, the guilt, the bad memories, they’ve all been piling up. I figured leaving town might be the best way to escape it all." "...Ah see." Big Red frowned. "So ya jest planned tah up an' leave, even before ya had all the money ya need to get to where ya were plannin' tah go?" "I figured it was worth the risk." Sterling shrugged. "If it hadn't been for that crazy well thing, I would have succeeded, and you would have never seen me again..." “And you really thought that by running away, it would make all your problems disappear?” Big Red asked. “...No.” Sterling admitted, “Like I said, I’m a coward. I run because I don’t know what else to do anymore… do you still think I can face my demons? After everything I just told you?” "...Yes." Big Red nodded. "Ah really do." Sterling’s eyes widened in shock, as he glanced at Big Red. "Say what?" He gaped. "How can you still have faith in me after what I just told you? You only knew me for a month, and I drop all this crap on you, and you still say ‘yes’? Why?!" "Because when we first picked you up that day in the desert, Ah had a feeling about you." Big Red smiled. "True, Ah had some doubts before today, but now, Ah'm certain that in spite of ya bein' a Fore-feller fer all them years, you really are a good, strong, noble stallion." "But I-!" Sterling started. "We all falter sumtimes." Big Red said fairly. "Feel like we ain't good enough, that it might be better tah jest cut an' run... ain't no shame in that. But we all had moments of weakness in our lifetimes. But no matter how bad the mistakes we made, it doesn’t change who we are on the inside. Ah know deep down, you can do this. Without running." "...Well, that makes one of us." Sterling sighed, both exasperated and grateful for Big Red's unshakeable belief in him. "...As much as I enjoyed this talk, I still think me getting out of here is the best option I have at this point." "Tell ya what, why don't ya come back to the homestead, and sleep on it?" Big Red offered. "Can't go on a journey without rest, right?" "... Okay." Sterling nodded. "I didn't exactly get a good night's sleep, anyway..." "Good." Big Red smiled. "Trust me, ya'll feel better in the morning." "I can only hope..." Sterling declared as he stood up. As they returned to the homestead, they found Cherry and Marshall still waiting outside. "Is everything okay?" Cherry asked. "Fer now." Big Red nodded. "... I should probably go." Marshall said awkwardly. "Get some rest." "Marshall, wait." Big Red urged. "Look, Ah'm sorry fer yellin' at ya before." "It's okay." Marshall said fairly. "It ain't." Big Red insisted. "Ah had no right tah talk tah ya like that. Bringin' up Shooting, rubbin' dirt in old wounds... Fact is, Ah should be thankin' ya fer being there fer me, Cherry and the boys." "And I always will be there for all of you." Marshall smiled. "No matter what. It'll take more than one little argument to change that." "So ya forgive me?" Big Red asked. "Like you even have to ask, old friend." Marshall chuckled. With that, Marshall left the homestead. "What about Sterling?" Cherry asked. "Is he-?" Sterling looked away sheepishly. "Now, now." Big Red declared. "Jest give 'im a li'l time tah himself. He's had a rough couple a' hours." He turned to Sterling. "Why don't ya head on back tah bed, Sterling? Get some rest." "That's the plan." Sterling nodded, moving past Cherry to get to the living room. "Red, I do not appreciate you keeping me in the dark again." Cherry frowned. "Tell me what's going on. "Ah'll tell ya later." Big Red whispered. "When we're back in our room. I haveta warn ya, we might be up for a bit." “...Very well.” Cherry nodded. Slipping off his old jacket, Sterling lay back down on the couch, the only sound in the house being Big Red and Cherry walking up the stairs. Despite his desire to sleep, he couldn't help but recall Big Red's words. '’Face my demons’... again, easier said than done, Red.' Sterling thought sadly, ’Then again… nothing so far has been easy...’ With that, Sterling drifted off to sleep… Only for the sniffling of a crying colt to startle him. Sterling opened his eyes, and to his surprise, he found himself next to the same well. “Here again…” Sterling grimaced, “...Great.” “...S-Sterling? Sterling, is that you?” Sterling snapped to attention as he approached the well. He glanced down, and saw Gold was down there, right where he and Crystal left him that very day. As he looked on, he felt like he was reliving another memory... “Gold, are you okay?” Sterling found himself speaking. “I’m… I’m fine.” Gold sniffed, “W-where’s Crystal?” “Don’t you worry about him!” Sterling declared, as suddenly, he threw down a rope, “Here! Climb on up!” A little soaked from sitting at the bottom of the well all day, and clutching his doll, Gold clumsily pulled himself up the rope, almost slipping a few times. Finally he reachd the well's mouth. As soon as Gold was within his reach, Sterling, reaching out with hooves of his young teenage self, pulled the young colt up and onto dry ground. He nearly fell backwards as he hugged his young brother to his chest. “I got ya, pal.” Sterling spoke, the younger colt quivering against him, “You’re okay… you’re okay…” “S-Sterling…” Gold wheezed, still tearful from hours of imprisonment, “I-I was so scared…” “I know… I know…” Sterling felt tears coming to his eyes again, “I’m sorry… I didn’t wanna leave you down there… but Crystal… he… he…” "It's okay, Sterling." Gold smiled innocently. "I don't blame you for leaving. I'm just glad you came back for him. I don't know what I'd do without you." “I’ll always be there for you, buddy.” Sterling assured him, “Always…” Sterling felt a pang of sorrow. He knew he might not always have a say in such matters. Not if Crystal was around… "Wh-what if Crystal tries to do this again?" Gold asked worriedly. "If he tries to keep you from saving me?" "...That won't happen, Gold." Sterling pledged. "I'll stop that from happening, I swear." "How, though?" Gold asked. "It's not like you can stop him forever, is it?" Sterling suddenly froze, as Gold's words sat in his mind. 'Maybe I can.' He thought. 'Maybe I have to...' "Sterling?" Gold frowned, confused by his brother's sudden stop. “Well, Gold…” Sterling’s tears stopped, as determination stretched across his face, “I don’t know about you, but I’ve had just enough of him. I don’t care what happens to me. I am never going to let Crystal do this to you again. And he ain’t gonna make do anything either. I swear to you, I am going to protect you, no matter what…” "Thanks, Sterling." Gold hugged his brother. "No problem, li'l bro..." Sterling returned the hug, knowing that these happy moments weren't going to last much longer... Sterling awoke. It was morning, and oddly enough… he felt surprisingly well-rested. He had nearly forgotten how he had come back for Gold that day he and Crystal left him down in the well. But now, as he recalled that moment… he became well aware of what he must do now… ’...I know what I gotta do.’ He thought to himself, ’...Thank you, Gold.’ Sterling made his way up to the bathroom, so he could wash up for breakfast. But he found Cherry standing outside. "Cherry, would you mind moving?" He asked. "I need to clean up for breakfast." "In a moment, Sterling." Cherry replied. "We need to have a little talk first." "About what?" Sterling asked "Big Red told me everything." Cherry said bluntly. "About your childhood, about your family… and about what happened to your little brother.” Sterling felt his breath hitch. At first, he was shocked (and a little peeved) that Big Red retold everything he did to his wife… but then again, he didn’t exactly tell the farmer stallion to keep it a secret. “...Is that right?” Sterling frowned. “Yes.” Cherry nodded, “...You know, when I first met you, I always thought something was off about you. A bad feeling that I couldn’t shake. And then I learned that you were a Forefather, and that did little to appease my misgivings about you.” “Yes, I believe you made that pretty clear.” Sterling grimaced, “But I’ve told you before, I never intended to harm you or-” "I know." Cherry nodded. "If you had bad intentions in mind, you would have surely acted upon them by now. Instead, you did a lot of good things. Like how you defended Shooting from that thug, as well as that sick changeling from being lynched; bringing Eclipse back here when he was hurt, helping the boys with that lost cherry cart… and, of course, Big Red believed in you. My husband of mine always was a great judge of character..." “Yeah, I guess he is.” Sterling gave a small chuckle. "But." Cherry suddenly said surely, wiping the smile off Sterling's face. "How good a houseguest you've been doesn't change what you did before you came to stay under our roof. I've heard all about the terrible things you've done in the past. Being an accessory to the trouble up in the Crystal Empire, standing alongside your Forefather friends as they attacked Canterlot..." "In my defense, I dtched the Forefathers in the middle of that attack." Sterling interrupted. "I never agreed with it in the first place." "But you agreed with a lot of other awful things, didn't you?" Cherry declared, giving Sterling an appraising look. "...Yes, I did." Sterling nodded. "I really thought the Forefathers were the good guys. That they were going to change the world for the better, and that change like that would mean extreme measures." "Would it, now?" Cherry said coldly. "I was just a kid in juvie when they recruited me." Sterling admitted. "Barely much older than Eclipse. They accepted me, made me feel like I could make a difference. Can you really blame me for feeling like they had the right idea?" “Not really.” Cherry admitted, “But I highly doubt that defense would go over too well in a court of law.” “I know…” Sterling sighed, “But for a time… the Forefathers became like my family. They took me in, just like you and Big Red took in Eclipse, Huckleberry and Globe. Gave me a purpose, a reason to go on.” He shook his head, “I'm not saying that justifies my choices, but I felt as if I owed them… not that it matters now." "I understand that you had your reasons for doing what you did." Cherry declared. "...And despite all that, I can’t simply ignore the travesties you had done or the hurt you had inflicted upon ponies..." "...Yeah, I figured on that." Sterling cringed. "But you don’t have to worry. Like I promised you, you won’t see me again, once I lea-” He was cut off, when Cherry wrapped her hooves around him, embracing him in a hug. “Uh… um, Cherry?” Sterling frowned, “What are you doing?” “What does it look like, Sterling?” Cherry gave a warm smile, “I’m giving you a hug.” “...Okay.” Sterling admitted, “But why? You just said…” “I know, and you’re right, I can’t." Cherry admitted. "But I can sympathize with everything you've been through, and everything you've lost because of it… no pony, no matter who they are, should had to go through what you’ve been through." "Oh, well... thanks, I guess." Sterling said awkwardly. "You're welcome." Cherry smiled as she released. "Now you go and get washed up. Breakfast is in ten minutes, and I want to see those hooves spotless, mister." "Yes, ma'am." Sterling grinned. Giving him a small smile, Cherry made her way downstairs. 'Well, what do you know.' Sterling mused as he entered the bathroom. 'She knows everything, and she doesn’t hate my guts... guess I underestimated the lady's compassion... then again, if Red saw fit to marry her, she was bound to be a decent mare after all.' Sterling couldn't remember being in a better mood in the morning. Out of gratitude for Cherry's newfound acceptance of him, he washed his hooves as diligently as he could. Soon after, Sterling and the family gathered in the kitchen for breakfast, which that morning consisted of chocolate chip pancakes covered in cherry syrup. "Another culinary masterpiece, Cherry." Sterling declared. "Almost be a shame to eat it." "There are better ways of getting seconds than shameless flattery, mister." Cherry chuckled. "But none more deserved." Sterling returned. He shared a look with Big Red, making it clear that he didn't mind him telling Cherry all about his past. Big Red returned the look with a smile. Eclipse, Huckleberry and Globe shared awkward looks, surprised and confused by Sterling being on such good terms with Cherry. "Okay, what's going on?" Huckleberry asked. "Yeah." Eclipse added. "Since when are you two so nice with each other?" "Why would we not?" Cherry asked. "Sterling is our houseguest." "And Cherry is one of my gracious hosts." Sterling grinned. "I think it's great you're getting along." Globe smiled. "Thanks, kid." Sterling nodded. “...Hey, could somepony fill us in on what happened last night?” Eclipse suddenly asked, “I heard some arguing downstairs. Sounded like Pa and Marshall were fighting. Woke me up for a little while.” “Is everything alright?” Globe frowned. "Of course, dear." Cherry nodded. "Right, Red?" "Yeah." Big Red smiled. "Me an' Marshall were jest... up late drinking. We ended up havin' this silly fight about what kind a' pie is better, cherry or pumpkin." “Well, that’s a no-brainer. Cherry, duh!” Huckleberry snorted. “Yeah, with whipped cream!” Globe spoke up. “Well, that’s what I said.” Big Red chuckled, relieved his little lie convinced them. “What about you, Sterling?” Eclipse turned to Sterling, “How did ya sleep through all that?” “I kinda didn’t.” Sterling admitted half-truthfully, “I took a little night stroll… needed to clear my head for a bit.” "...Okay, whatever." Eclipse shrugged, returning to his breakfast. "'Night stroll;, huh?" Huckleberry smirked. "Sure you weren't just paying Shooting a visit?" "Very funny, kid." Sterling rolled his eyes. "And for the record, no, it wasn't that kind of night stroll. It was just a regular kind of night stroll." "Hope you had fun." Globe smiled. "Well, I did get quite a workout, to be honest." Sterling admitted. "More than I bargained for, to be honest..." Cherry stifled a chuckle, which Big Red quickly rolled his eyes. The boys failed to notice this, and returned to eating their pancakess. After the boys had eaten their breakfasts and been excused, Cherry was attending to their dirty plates (along with her own), while Sterling and Big Red finished their own pancakes (Sterling having received both seconds and thirds, feeling rathe ravenous for some reason). "Hey, Red, can I talk to you for a second?" Sterling asked, finishing his thirds. "Of course." Big Red nodded, putting aside his own mostly-empty plate. Sterling quickly led Big Red into the living room. "So... whattaya wanna talk about?" Big Red asked. "Well, the thing is… I need a favor." Sterling declared. "A pretty big favor." "Okay." Big Red frowned. "And what kinda favor is that?" Sterling glanced at Big Red firmly in the eyes. "I need to get to Haygypt." Sterling announced. "As soon as possible."