"Row row row your boat, gently down the CLIFF..." I singed to avoid thinking about the situation in which I was currently.
"Would you please shut up?" a statue asked."You already sang that song like a billion times! And I mean literally!" he stated.
"You know, I never thougt that I could make the god of chaos mad by simply singing a parody of a child's song" I replied.
"The problem is that you sing bad on purpose!" he answered.
"Trust me, it has a purpose that in the end will benefit both of us" I said as I saw a group of fillies and colts directing towards our location,"speaking of it, it is about to be fullfilled by those students" I finished.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Just watch, Discord" I replied.
He simply didn't respond, so I assumed that he understood and he was preparing for whatever was going to to happen. Due to me watching My little pony I knew perfectly what was going to happen.
Even if this was an anthro version of equestria.
After Cherelee gave the lesson to the students about Discord and His regin and after she punished the CMC for discussing, one of them did THE question.
The one that reminded me that I wasn't in a cannon universe.
"Who is that pony, miss Cherelee?" Scootaloo asked pointing towards me.
"That is not a pony scootaloo, is a creature that is called a human" she said. "Not much is known about him, exept that he commited many crimes against equestria" she added.
"hey, that sounded like I was a traitor" I Complained internally.
"Also it is believed that he was the first creature ever to have a car in equestria" she also said.
"Wait, how do they know about about cars?" I asked myself.
After listening to what celestia seems to teach about me and moving on to whatever place they had to, I noticed that the statue of discord started to tear apart until he finally surged from the stone.
"It feels good to finally strech after being in the same position for at least a thousand years" he claimed.
"And now for helping you to gain power you will free me as well, because if not the next time I will sing even worse" I said mentally, knowing that he could hear me.
He simply rolled his eyes, and with the snap of his claw I fell free in the grass.
"Now you are free. Do whatever you need to do, because now I have some chaos to cause" he said as he popped out of existence into who knows.
I got up from the floor and I went to a nearby fountain to look at myself.
Black t-shirt? Check. Blue jeans? Check. Shoes? Check.
After checking I had all my clothes I hid in some bushes. I took everything from my pockets and verified that I had my smartphone, my keys, my wallet and most importantly, the controller to unlock the doors of my most inportant car.
The Koenigsegg one:1. Being the only megacar in the entire world, only seven were produced by the company.
And I had one.
Anyways, I checked on my void smartphone the location of my nearest car. It seems like this happens to all the displaced, because my totally op car happened to be the nearest one.
Can you guess where did the gps pointed to?
Correct! Into the castle!
"Ok, so i think that I will have to wait until Celestia notices that discord went missing so that she dispatches some guards to 'defend' the city. Then I am going to sneak in through secondary hallways to avoid being detected. Probably when I reach the place where it is it will be heavily guarded with magical spells to detect any thief, but I still have that virus that according to that displaced Aiden it should work to deactivate even the strongest spells. If it does, I shall make sure to thank him for the virus the next time I see him. When I get the car MAYBE , JUST MAYBE I will let her know that I am back, somehow."
After making that plan I waited to obious signs of discord that Celestia would notice. When I saw chocolate milk raining I started moving. I reached the wall of the castle and started looking for an open window. I found one that was low enough and climbed into the castle. Luckily there wasn't any staff right there so I had time to hide behind the nearest pillar and start sneaking nearer and nearer to my precious car.
At least I had to hide from 2 patrols, but apart from that the journey to my car was uneventful.
As I expected when I arrived, There was a massive vault door where my car could fit in.
"It's time for the truth" I said as I opened the development software and transfered the virus to the vault door through wireless connection.
As he promised, the door opened without any more complications and there I saw the object from which Celestia separated me for a long time.
My one:1.
I reached my pocket and used the controller to unlock the doors. "Seems like the car parts that I bought from that void guy last for a really long time" I said to nobody to particular when I saw that electronics seemed to work.
I opened the driver's door and I proceeded to enter the car and close the door again.
After putting on the racing harness, I went to activate the gps.
"Ok google" I said." Open maps and place the following waypoints: throne room, main castle entrance and nearest canterlot entrance".
"Waypoints established" the phone replied.
Without further ado, I started the engine.
>---------<
"Thank you twilight for saving Equestria once again" Celestia said as she congratulated her student and the elements.
As she prepared to say the next thing a guard busted in.
"Princess! The statue that was next to discord is no longer there! He is possibly free!"
It took her some seconds, but she realized what pony, or in this case, person, was missing.
"Tell the guards to check the vault and..."
Too late.
As she was saying that she heard that something was coming towards the castle.
The next thing she knew, a luxury car busted into the throne room and started making some drifting donuts until it stopped facing the recently destroyed door.
The window of the car lowered and the pony inside looked at Celestia and the elements.
"Did you miss me Celly?" He said.
"Zephyr" she only managed to say before he closed the window and started screeching the tires until he launched himself, leaving confused looks and two fire strips.
"Make all the royal guard units to stop him at any costs" she finally managed to say to the confused guards.
>---------<
After personally confronting the princess ( which was a strategically dumb move by the way) I made my way to the main entrance after making my car jump through some stairs.
"Waypoint reached" the phone said.
I looked at the last waypoint and I saw that at least I had to drive 3 kilometers to exit the city.
"To all the units, we have a code 1 in progress. The suspect is driving an unknown car, license plate charlie five uniform charlie kilo five" a female voice in my radio said.
"Since when does the royal guard have radio?" I asked myself.
I only got more questions when I heard a very earthly sound.
The siren of a cop.
"Stop right there!" A guard shouted.
Of course, instead of halting the vehicle I floored the gas and I activated the nitro I gained from the donuts I did in front of Celestia.
...
Yeah, video game logic.
Anyways, that meant that Celestia gave the order to pursue me to all the royal guards in canterlot and right now I was possibly the most wanted racer in Equestria.
>---------<
"A pursuit right now? Are you sure?"
"Yes. We heard of it in the royal guard radio."
"Ok, we will take the helicopter right there."
"This is going to be on all first pages."
>---------<
I look at my side and I see on the sky a helicopter. "I wonder how much time has passed since I was imprisoned" I thought.
"Ok google, which year is now In Equestria?"
"This is the year 1002 After the banishment of the princess luna of equestria" It said.
"150 years, not bad" I said to the air as I thought of the guys that were imprisoned for at least one thousand years. That would be insufferable.
As I evaded another blockage from the royal guard I saw that now I had only 1 kilometer left until the exit.
I tuned the car radio to see if there was any other frequency, and I was plesantly surprised when I found a radio station.
"Breaking news: an unknown pony just busted out from the canterlot castle and right now it seems to be heading to the outside of the city. Stay tuned for more information."
"Well, it seems that right now I am all over the news" I said as I saw that 500 meters ahead they were lifting the bridge in a desesperate attempt to stop me.
"No you don't" I shouted as I activated the nitro once more and I prepared for the upcoming jump.
As I lifted in the air I looked how all the cops started to break fearing the jump of the bridge.
All except one.
The cop jumped behind me and also landed behind me.
I took a closer look at the car that was chasing me and, when I realized which car was, I could only think of one word.
Shit.