Dear Princess Celestia,
Once we got our wings and horns back and the maze was gone, there was Discord gloating over his alleged victory. At that point I'm going to be honest, I simply didn't care. My acquaintances were still being the opposites of their true-selves, which was a vast improvement if you ask me. After all, Pinkie being a bitch is preferable to her normal ADHD personality.
To be honest, the way those four started to fight was rather amusing and what I found so hilarious though was how Rarity seemed to think that that rock was actually a diamond. I don't know if Discord's mind control made her see a diamond or if she truly is that stupid. My guess though is the latter as she probably didn't get in line when brains were being handed out when she was a filly.
Naturally I just wanted to get this over with but I figured I may as well placate you because I knew how pissy you would get if I didn't round those morons up and still try to defeat Discord, despite missing Crash and those four being the Elements of Disharmony.
The trip back home was rather uneventful with the exception of getting trampled by some stupid rabbits, three days or so passing and walking on soap covered roads. I'll be honest, it was kind of funny to see you having absolutely no control over your precious sun. At that moment I began to wonder if maybe I should just join forces with Discord. He could make everypony's lives hell while I handled the sun and moon like I deserve to.
Once we got home and found where Discord hid the Elements, I decided it was time to finish this, defeat Discord and then purge those acquaintances from my life. Where I went afterwards, I didn't really care as long as I didn't have to see them again and could get away from this Faust-forsaken place. Unfortunately that was not how it went.
Since I had the Elements of Disharmony with me and was substituting Spike for Crash, we were unable to defeat Discord. That is when I decided, "screw it, time to move on." You know something, I could have done that too but you just had to troll not just me, but Spike too and send all those damn letters I sent you and caused me to give half a shit about this cursed place and those cursed acquaintances.
Sadly, I managed to get them to remember who the hell they really were and in the end we defeated Discord. Now Celestia, I want you to remember this. If it weren't for ME and me making the mistake of actually giving a shit, we could have had eternal chaos and you suddenly wouldn't have been little miss powerful because Discord would have handed control over the Celestial bodies over to me! Then I would have simply made eternal night just to spite you, which is something I'm sure Discord would have got a kick out of.
I would love to know something, why is it you gave us all a celebration when I was the one who made turned those bitches back into their annoying, normal selves? There should have only been one pony on that stained glass window, ME. Just you wait though, one of these days I will save this country and I won't have to share a window with my inferiors.
Your Irritated Student,
Twilight Sparkle
To My Bitchy Little Subordinate,
Ugh, this again? Good grief Twilight, I sometimes wonder if you really mean what you say or if you simply go on these rants to annoy me. I get it, you think seeing those ponies you should have befriended by now fight and act like they shouldn't is funny. I'll admit, seeing them act out like this for a little while is cute but seeing them do that all the time would not bode well for you, especially if you want a chance to initiate PETA girl someday.
One thing I do know now though is that you are a tyrant. You seriously found it funny that I had no control over my sun? You found it funny that Discord could just change it from day to night every minute or so? That is bad enough but you know what really pisses me off Twily? What truly pisses me off is that you think that you DESERVE to handle the sun and moon. You know what, you can't even get PETA girl in bed and you think you are worthy of handling the sun and moon? Don't make me laugh!
One thing that does make me question your sanity though is that you honestly thought the Elements would work with the Elements of Disharmony and Spike joining you in trying to use them. That right there is proof that you are not even deserving of being my protege but I'm not going to drop you because I want you to continue to suffer with all the shit you have to put up with, you aren't deserving of having your own life.
I am glad though that you were able to fix those acquaintances of yours and defeat Discord. I was slowly growing angry over not having control of my sun and my sister was very unhappy about not being able to control her moon. I'm going to let you in on something. Had the six of you failed, we would have swooped in, took the Elements and turned YOU into stone! Then you could wind up in the sculpture garden for the sport of those pigeons that shit all over everything.
Finally, you should be glad you had some sort of celebration thrown for you, even if you had to share the glory with those who you deem so inferior. Face it Twily, you will NEVER have a festival dedicated solely to you. You are not deserving of it nor will you ever do anything to warrant having everypony bow down and kiss that star on your flank so get over it.
Happy to Have Control of My Sun Again,
Princess Celestia