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// Green Isn't Your Color 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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Dear Princess Celestia,

I have quickly come to the conclusion that my acquaintances have the IQ of a rock.  I mean seriously, there are Fluttershy and Rarity spending time in the spa while I am not getting the attention I deserve, nada, nill, nothing!  I'm not quite sure what to think yet but I do know one thing, those two will pay for shutting me out like this. 

Let's not forget Spike has suddenly become a pin cushion in his futile attempt to get Rarity in bed.  That poor thing, there he thinks he actually has a chance with her when it reality I have a better chance of not only scoring with the spa twins but also conning you into actually letting me come home.  Oh well, can't win them all I suppose. 

Alright Rarity, I get it.  Photo Finish has decided to show up and all of a sudden Fluttershy has to look perfect!  Faust forbid she look like one of us normal, everyday ponies.  Oh yes, she has to look perfect for the camera now doesn't she?  She is suddenly going be a star!  Give me a break, we all know there is only one pony in this world worthy of being a star and that is ME!

Just when I thought that I had got through this disaster and my day was finally done, Photo Finish decided that she has to do a photo shoot with PETA girl in the park.  That little bitch, how dare she decide to take away what was rightfully mine and give it to her?  I'll tell you one thing, I am thinking that perhaps the time has come to finally initiate Fluttershy whether she likes it or not.  Sounds fun, right?

Oh waah, waah, waah, now Rarity is sewing a cloak and is planning on getting out of town?  Sweet!  Perhaps this will give me an excuse to get away from them, get away from all the drama and most importantly, do a whole lot of seducing!  Hey, you know sometimes a mare has to do what a mare has to do, right?

Now for the truly fun part!  In a desperate attempt to escape the spotlight Fluttershy employed me to cause her to screw up in the fashion show, but it did come with a cost!  The cost:  Her allowing me to initiate her into my circle of friends!  I did my part and made her do all sorts of disgusting things and make noises ponies shouldn't be making which should have worked but oh no, all of a sudden the fashionista started cheering her on and yelling bravo. 

Ugh, because of that, Fluttershy became more popular than ever but once her and Rarity finally spilled their guts about wanting to quit and their jealousy, everything is fine between them and PETA girl finally decided to call it quits.  Now she can go back to taking care of her stupid animals and hopefully not creating any more infestations that Pinkie will have to get rid of. 

Your Irritated Subordinate, 

Twilight Sparkle

P.S.  Fluttershy never paid me!  Can you believe that she doesn't want to be friends?  Well I'll force friendship on her one of these days whether she wants it or not. 





To My Irritated Subordinate,

So everything that has been going on has been causing you problems lately?  Look Twilight, the shit you go through is nothing compared to what I have to go through.  Do you seriously expect me to feel sorry for you when all you are doing is bitching about anything and everything?  The hell with that Twily, I have other plans and trust me, having fun with you is not on the agenda!

Now please, could you just let somepony else handle all your drama?  It would be greatly appreciated. 

Sincerely, 

Princess Celestia

P.S.  You must be truly terrible if even Fluttershy won't accept you as a friend.  Oh well, give it time, maybe someday when she goes into heat you can become friends with her.