//------------------------------// // Talons and Fangs // Story: Just a Little Batty // by I Thought I Was Toast //------------------------------// The sun was hungrier than usual today. Its slobbering jaws breathed hot death on the back of our necks as we sat outside Sugarcube Corner, and our cool, icy milkshakes could barely hold it at bay for even a few seconds a sip. Hot, sticky, and damp with sweat, I gave in to the urge to guzzle the last of my mango caterpillar shake in one go. The siren song of air conditioning called to me from inside, but my sunstroked friends had refused every suggestion of a strategic retreat. “Apple Bloom…” Diamond whined as she lifted her head from the table to toss back some more of her chocolate shake. “Why can’t we go inside?” “I told ya a million times already, Diamond. Gabby ain’t here yet!” Bloom snorted. “It’d be plum rude to start without her!” “But we’ve already started without her.” Silver gazed at Bloom through half-lidded eyes as she daintily took another sip of strawberry. “Perfectly good milkshakes. Perfectly beautiful day. All that’s missing is the perfect atmosphere.” “Wimp!” I stuck my tongue out at Silver and giggled as Diamond glared at me. “What?! I’m talking about the straw! You know I’d rather be inside!” I snuck a peek at the sun, which was balefully glaring down at us with a burning white intensity. “Seriously, girls. It’s hawt, and I’m sweaty, and Diamond is starting to smell.” “Hey!” Diamond tried to thunk me in the back of the head, but I nimbly dodged out of the way. “Just a… few more… minutes….” Sweetie panted between each slurp of prench vanilla. “See! Sweetie is literally about to drop.” I frowned. “I’m not giving her mouth-to-mouth if she passes out.” “But Gabby said she’d meet us outside Sugarcube Corner.” Apple Bloom crossed her hooves and pouted. “I. Ain’t. Budgin’.” “Well, maybe we’ll just go in without you if you’re gonna be so pigheaded about it!” Diamond huffed, sticking her snout up into the air. “No….” I muttered a few of Dad’s favorite words under my breath. “Squadmates stick together. We should stay outside if they’re going to punish themselves.” I sighed. “Solidarity, sister.” “You’re darn tootin‘!” Bloom stomped a hoof into the table. “Don’t push it,” I growled, burying my head in my hooves to give me some sweet, sweet shade. “I’m still really tempted to just drag you all inside.” “Ha! You’d have to catch me first!” Scootaloo tore her gaze from the sky to give me a cheeky grin. “Endurance hunting.” My fangs flashed in the sunlight. “I don’t have to catch you when you’ll tire way before I do.” “I don’t know.” Scoots buzzed her wings. “Have you seen how long I can last on my scooter these days?” “I’ll just pretend you’re a chicken, Scootaloo. That’ll make it easy!” I squeaked, puffing out my chest and rustling my own wings. “Hunting’s in my blood!” “We know, we know….” Scoots grumbled, her smile suddenly souring. “You’ve been telling us about your trip to Canterlot all week.” “Screeheeheeheehee! I still can’t believe I can make the trip all on my own without a break! I didn’t even need to use Dad’s skein, and—” I took a deep breath as Scoots frown deepened, my ears splaying back. “Oh… I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Sorry….” “Nah. You’re cool.” Scoots blew a bit of her mane out of her eyes and forced a smile. “It’s like you said back at Santa Maneico. We’re all good at different things.” “Aww… Scoots….” Sweetie and Apple Bloom wrapped Scootaloo in a hug until she started gagging. “Marvelous.” Diamond tossed back the last of her milkshake with a shiver. “Can we go inside yet?” “Hey, girls!” A large, feathery missile crashed into the group hug across from me. “Why are we hugging?!” “That would be a yes,” Silver droned. “DT! Silver!” The grey griffon swept both the other fillies into the hug. “I’ve heard so much about you!” Her head rotated almost one hundred and eighty degrees to lock a wide predatory eye on me. “And you, Nightingale.” “Umm….” I squirmed. “Good things, I hope?” “Oh, totally.” Gabby’s beak curved up in a razor sharp grin. “Chocolate-covered flies?” She held out a bag. “If you don’t mind….” I hesitantly put a hoof in the bag only to pull out a white, wriggling mass. “These are maggots.” “Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww!” Diamond leapt back and brushed off a few larvae that had fallen on her. “Oh! Sorry! Wrong bag!” Gabby pulled her talon back and offered another bag. “That was my lunch.” “Eh, don’t worry.” I licked my lips and sampled a few. “Oh, wow! How did you make them this flavorful!” I quickly downed the rest of the pungent, little wrigglers, humming in happiness as they squigled about in my tummy. “You like them?!” Gabby chirped. “Like hay I do!” I took a few of the chocolate covered flies and popped them in my mouth. They had a nice crunchy center that was surrounded by soft, melty milk chocolate. “If I’d known you were gonna bring treats I would have brought you some candy coated cockroaches. Here!” I pulled out a cricket kabob from my saddlebags and tossed it to her. “For the maggots!” “Celestia help us all, there’s two of them.” Silver sipped up the last few drops of her shake. “Screeheehee!” I cackled as the buzz of chocolate and ice cream pounded through my veins. Licking some of the melted chocolate off my hooves, I flared my wings and cast everypony in shadow. “Foolish prey ponies! The sun witch can’t help you now!” “Yeah! Carnivores forever!” Gabby leapt to my side, and we posed. “Well, I guess that answers the question of whether or not they’ll get along,” Apple Bloom drawled. “They’re like two peas in a pod.” Sweetie put a hoof to her mouth and giggled. “Two feathers stuck together.” Scootaloo grinned. Diamond’s eyes glittered mischievously. “Two maggots acting like—” “No! Bad Diamond!” I immediately pounced on her and she let out a squeak as I nipped her ear. “My dad told you not to use that word.” “But he used it!” Diamond kept on laughing, so I bit her again. “Night, stop! You’re not supposed to eat other ponies!” “Are they always like this?” Gabby arched her brow. “On occasion,” Silver deadpanned. “Most of the time, they’re just oblivious.” “Oblivious to what?” Diamond and I stopped roughhousing to blink up at the rest of our grinning friends. “That.” Silver shrugged, waving at us like it explained everything. Picking up our empty glasses, she trotted for the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to actually go inside.” “I forgot the air conditioning!” Diamond gasped. “Hey! Wait up!” In a flash, she pulled out from under me and raced away. “Last one in pays for the next round!” “Not it!” Bloom, Sweetie, and Scoots vanished, leaving a small crusader-shaped dust cloud behind as they dragged Gabby through the door with them. “Ooof!” Without Diamond supporting me, I tumbled down and ate dirt. “No fair, Diamond! You didn’t give me any warning!” “Not my problem!” Diamond poked her head back out the door to stick her tongue out at me. “Come on, now! You’re buying!” “Fine….” Pulling myself up, I brushed off the dirt clinging to me. “But I get to pick the flavor.” She grinned maliciously. “Oh, really? Planning some revenge?” “Gabby will like hers.” I bit my lip and looked away. “Do it! I dare you!” Diamond laughed. “No, I double dog dare you! It’ll be worth eating a few bugs just to see everypony else’s face. Just…” She shivered. “…make sure mine isn’t still wriggling.” “Hey, Diamond!” Apple Bloom shouted from inside. “There ain’t any tables left! We’re going to have to share one with Rumble and Button Mash!” “That’s fine!” Diamond called back over her shoulder. “I’m sure Night won’t mind paying for a few extra shakes!” She winked at me. “Says she has something special planned!” Oh, you little— I took a deep breath and dug out my bit purse to stare at it for a few moments. I could do it if I wanted to…. Should I? No, but it was really tempting with Rumble in the mix. “This isn’t something a Platoon Commander should be doing….” I sighed, trotting inside. All the tables were packed with ponies, and I had to actually fly up to spot the girls in the far corner. They waved at me—Diamond grinning like a loon under moon—while Rumble and Button just nodded my way. My bearing gained, I landed back on the floor, and approached the counter. The line was almost out the door, but it flew by fast as the butterflies in my stomach fluttered about. “Heya, Night! Sorry I can’t skadoodle on over to your table, but— Oooh… tickly tummy.” The Pink monster’s smile gleamed with way too many teeth as I stepped up to the register. “You’re planning something, aren’t you?” “No, I’m not….” I squirmed. “You suuuuure?” she leaned forward. “A tickly tummy tells no lies, so somepony is gonna get pranked.” “Well…” Poking at the floor, I looked at anywhere but the mare in front of me. “That’s awesome!” Pinkie Pie was across the counter before I could blink, sweeping me up in a hug. “I didn’t peg you for a prankster!” “I’m not!” I squeaked as my vision turned Pink. “Please don’t tell my parents!” “Are you kidding?!” Pinkie’s grin was manic as she ruffled my mane. “They’ll probably be thrilled!” She giggled. “Well, at least your dad will be!” Her ears perked and she leaned in to whisper to me. “Can I help? Huh? Can I? Can I? Can I?” I bit my lip and shuffled from hoof to hoof for a few seconds before pushing my bit bag on her. “You could… umm… maybe bring us some more milkshakes?” “Annnnnnnd?” Pinkie leaned in further until her sparkling blue eyes were all I could see. “I don’t know!” I whined. “I don’t do pranks! Diamond wants me to order some of your bug shakes for everypony, but—” “Okie, doki, loki!” A Pink hoof cut off my protests. “You just leave everything to your Auntie Pinkie Pie!” “You’re not my aunt…” I mumbled as she patted my head. As I turned to head back to our table, she whistled and tossed me back my bit pouch—still completely full of bits. “It’s on the house!” She winked. “I’ll bring them back in a few.” “Thanks.” I gave her one last small smile and made my way to our table. “Hey, guys! Pinkie will be bringing them in a few.” “But ya didn’t take our orders.” Apple Bloom squinted at me. “Uhh….” There was the most interesting speck of chocolate on the table. “Don’t worry, Night. It’s not a surprise.” Diamond tittered as she came to my rescue. “I just asked her to get us a special something from Sugarcube Corner’s secret menu.” “Sugarcube Corner has a secret menu?” Rumble tilted his head to the side. “Every great restaurant has a secret menu,” Diamond huffed. “Didn’t you know? It’s all the rage nowadays.” “I ain’t heard of a secret menu.” Apple Bloom frowned. “Have you girls?” “I think Rarity’s mentioned those before?” Sweetie hummed. “I can’t remember for what, though.” “It’s totally a thing in Griffonstone.” Gabby scratched her chin with one talon. “Although, they usually just sell the same food at a hyped up, secret price.” “Might as well see what we get and give it a try.” Scootaloo shrugged and turned to me. “So what did you get us?” “Uhh….” I squirmed. “Fillies and gentlecolts!” Pinkie was just in the nick of time as she plopped down a tray of dark grey—almost black—milkshakes. “I present you with the Apocalypse Crunch! Guaranteed to set your world on fire and have you crawl out through the fallout for more!” Gabby blinked, her beak clicking open and closed as she tried to formulate the question on all our minds. “Don’t.” Apple Bloom patted Gabby on the back. “Just. Don’t. It’s Pinkie being Pinkie.” “If you say so…” Gabby muttered, picking up her shake to take a sip. “Woah, that’s some dark chocolate.” She licked her beak and crunched several of the black, brittle bits floating in the murky depths. “Is that—” “Shhhhhhh! Don’t spoil the secret ingredient!” Pinkie waved frantically. “Let the others guess!” “I still want to know how you got them so—” “Shoosh! Trade secret!” Pulling my glass back, I chugged some of my shake and gave a mighty belch. The first go didn’t make anything really click for me, but the second wave gave me quite a few candy chunks to chew on. As I bit into the brittle pieces of sugary goodness, I shivered in recognition. It was Dad’s candy-coated cockroach recipe. Everypony was going to freak. It was too late to stop them, though. They were all greedily slurping away. Even Diamond was going at it with gusto. I hadn’t actually believed she’d do it, but there she went, chugging like a champ. It sent another wave of butterflies fluttering through my stomach. I squirmed for a minute or two while everypony else put out guess after guess, and Pinkie’s grin grew wider and wider with every no. Finally, a small window opened where nopony was taking a sip, so I took the plunge. “Is it cockroaches?” “Aww, come on, Night! That ain’t funny!” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Pinkie knows enough not to do that! Only you and Gabby eat bugs!” Pinkie’s grin grew even wider, but she didn’t say anything, and my ears splayed back as everypony went back to sipping their shakes. Gabby caught my eye and arched her brow, so I shrugged. She knew, and so did I, but it was out of our hooves as far as Pinkie was concerned. Several more rounds of guessing followed until Diamond finished the last of her shake and set her empty glass down. With a loud snap, she cricked her neck and grinned at Rumble and Scootaloo as they shared a second shake. “Cockroaches.” Her smugness was thicker than the chocolate. Apple Bloom snorted. “Come on, Diamond. Quit—” “And we have a winner!” A cannon fired in the background. Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Rumble all made spit takes; the former soaked Apple Bloom mid-sentence, while the lovebirds gushed all over each other. Silver frowned mid-sip, but didn’t let go of the straw. After a second or two, she just shrugged and returned to drinking, pointedly ignoring the writhing mass of Button Mash laughing his flank off on the floor next to her. There was a moment of silence. Then, Scootaloo licked a bit of chocolate off of Rumble, and he burst into a fit of laughter. “You planned this.” Apple Bloom glowered at me and Diamond, grabbing a napkin to wipe herself down. “I tried to avoid the spit take!” My ears splayed back, and I studied that fascinating piece of table chocolate again. It had some new, cool friends to talk to, and— “I didn’t!~” I could hear the smugness in Diamond’s grin, and I cringed as Apple Bloom’s glare started to burn like the sun. “Uhh… Pinkie, shouldn’t you be back at the counter by now? The line must be piled out the door by now! I can help you with—” A Pink hoof filled my mouth once more as Pinkie’s eyes danced with demonic, blue mirth. “I got it covered, Night.” She pulled a string out of her hair momentarily, and another cannon fired in the background again. “Thank you!” Pinkie hopped above the crowd only to freeze in mid air for a few seconds as she waved to her latest victim. “I— I— I—” My squeaks scritch-scratched like a broken record. “Diamond made me do it!” “I did no such thing!” Diamond sniffed imperiously before bursting into giggles. “If anything, it was your idea!” “I wasn’t really gonna—” Cold, chocolatey goodness hit me square in the face. “And now we’re even.” Bloom nodded. “Really, Night, don’t you fret none. You got us real good.” “Mrglmrff….” I squirmed. “O’course, now we all really need a bath.” Apple Bloom studied her sticky brown face in the napkin dispenser. “I don’t!” Diamond tittered. “I will order another shake just to toss it in your face,” Apple Bloom growled. “Also—” I sniffed my foreleg and felt my nostrils wrinkle. “—we kinda still smell a little from baking in the blasted sun.” “I’m pretty sure that’s just you.” Diamond stuck her tongue out at me. I leaned in to take a long, deep sniff of her mane. “Nope. That definitely includes you.” “Why you—” Diamond raised a hoof only to pause mid-thwap and lower it. “Actually, that’s a good idea. We can all go to the spa. My treat. Does that sound good to you, Gabby?” “Sure?” The griffon shrugged. “I’m up for whatever, really. My vacation lasts all weekend, so we got time.” She grinned at me. “We have got to go hunting at some point, though. Just the two of us.” “Well, it’s supposed to rain for a couple hours soon, but the skies should be clear after sunset.” I tapped my chin. “We could do it then?” “Great!” She leapt in the air and did a loop. “It’s settled then. Come on, girls!” My rump wriggled as I crept up on an unsuspecting butterfly. It fluttered carelessly in the wind, dancing with its gossamer wings to a song only it could hear. It did not see the doom approaching it from the shadows as I slunk through the grass on my belly. Every time it turned towards me, I froze, letting it— Oh, horseapples! It did it again! Years of training for the Lunar Guard kept me as still as stone and as silent as death. I barely breathed as my prey circled back towards me, but as it finally neared leaping distance my muscles tensed and I— There was an eagle’s shriek and the butterfly suddenly vanished in a grey blur. “Gabby!” I let out piteous mewl. “That one was mine!” “I know.” Her beak curved upwards in a razor sharp grin, and she tossed me the butterfly carcass—sliced cleanly in half. “I just couldn’t resist.” “At least you didn’t eat it.” I bit into one of the flakey wings and hummed. “Most of the thestrals back in Canterlot were jerks like that.” “You’re telling me.” Gabby giggled. “Until recently just about every griffon in Griffonstone was like that.” “Even the adults?” I blinked. “Especially the adults.” Gabby nodded. “I’ve seen a flock of twenty griffons break formation and start fighting over a piece of aluminum foil.” “What?” My tail flicked back and forth. “How does that even— Why would they ever— Nope! I don’t believe you!” “It’s true, though!” she squawked, fluffing out her chest. “They saw it shining in the sun and thought somepony had dropped their bit pouch. The greedy birdbrains were so busy fighting that they didn’t even notice the raven that swooped in to snatch it up for a nest.” I squirmed at the thought of so little discipline. “No offense, but griffons seem kind of…” “Dense?” Gabby shrugged at my wince. “What? It isn’t insulting if I’m the one saying it. We were totally a bunch of pea-brained, money grubbing featherbrains before Empress Gilda started slapping some sense into us.” “Literally or figuratively?” I eyed the talons that had cleanly sliced my latest meal in two. “Both.” She grinned. “Oh, look! Another cricket came out to play!” Gabby darted after her new prey as it shot from shadow to shadow. It landed on a tree, and she quickly closed in with a shriek. The little bugger was wily, though, and it leapt away faster than she could correct. With a solid thunk, she hit the tree and bonked right off the trunk into the bushes below. Giggling, I looked up at the sky to watch the stars above. It was certainly a bright night tonight. Now that the sun was finally down, the sky was painted in the most beautiful mix of lighter greys. Little specks of white shed soft starlight upon us, while silver swirls danced in the void around them. The moon dominated the horizon, standing out in a stark, white relief that was almost painful to look at. I could have watched it for hours as it climbed through the sky, but the sound of cricketsong called to me, or more precisely, my stomach. Hunching low to the ground, I let out a few clicks so I could get a read on the crickets still hiding in the grass. While Gabby was stuck pursuing her single elusive prey, I had a whole smorgasboard I could be hunting down. I slunk towards a group of four to my left—loudly playing their cricketsong like a string quartet. I inched closer and closer to them, my rump wriggling as I reached pouncing distance. There I paused, waiting until I knew their guard was down. “Scree!” I leapt. They leapt. One was not quite fast enough. My fangs pierced its chitin as my jaw closed around it, yet it insisted on trying to feebly kick its way free all the same. I chomped down a second time and it twitched once before going still. Juices leaked from its meaty center to tease my tongue as I chewed, making me hum in appreciation after swallowing. “Oh… that was good.” I shivered. “I got ya! Wait! No! Ahhhhh—” Another thud echoed through the clearing as Gabby failed to catch her prey again. “Mrglmff!” She spit out a bit of bark. “Guess it’s too dark to hunt something as small as a cricket. You wanna go fishing instead? I saw this killer lake as I was flying into town. The water was crystal clear, and there were some big fish splashing around the shallows.” “You want to trade crashing into trees with dashing yourself against rocks?” I shook my head. “We could hunt some game in Whitetail Woods then?” “Ponies will freak if they see that.” I squirmed. “It’s not a good idea.” “I did it last time I was here.” Gabby shrugged. “Nopony noticed in the slightest.” “I— I can’t.” I bit my lip. “Even if you’re right, my parents told me not to. I don’t know how it is for griffons, but it’s rare for thestrals to eat anything other than insects.” “But why?” She cocked her head to the side. “There’s nothing wrong with a little variety every now and then. Don’t tell me you’re afraid other ponies would get grossed out. They already freak when we eat bugs. You saw the girls earlier!” “It’s— I— Umm—” I poked at the ground. “I’m supposed to save that stuff for special occasions, alright?” “You mean like for dates?” Gabby rubbed the back of her head. “Yes! Wait, no! Not that kind of date!” My neck was suddenly hot. “It’s for special holidays and celebrations, not…” I shuffled from hoof to hoof, biting my lip hard enough to draw a tiny trickle of blood. “…stupid filly and colt things.” “Ah, gotcha.” Gabby nodded. “Seems kinda weird to me, but if that’s how you want it.” “It is.” I looked out towards home. “Besides, I don’t want to spoil my appetite too much.” “Wait. You mean, this isn’t dinner for you?” “Is it dinner for you?” My tail twitched. “I just wanted a snack.” “Oh….” Gabby wilted slightly. “I… uh… might have skipped my actual dinner to hunt with you. It’s not a big deal. I’ll just—” “Come home and have dinner with me.” I frowned, putting my hoof around her shoulder. “I’m sure my parents won’t mind.” “You mean it?” Gabby blinked at me owlishly. “Sure.” My frown morphed into a smile. “We’re friends now, right? I got your back.” “Thanks.” She grinned and slapped me on the back. “You’re pretty cool, you know that?” I gave a squeaky snort. “I’m not that cool compared to Diamond and the others. Really, I don’t get why everypony insists that I am.” “You have a lot to learn about being cool, then.” Gabby laughed. “Tell me about it.” I launched myself into the air and circled the clearing a few times. “Come on! My house is this way!” “Mom! Dad! I’m home!” My voice carried through the house as I opened the door. “I hope it’s alright, but I brought a friend for dinner! She kinda missed out on hers because we were hunting in the park!” “You were both hunting?” Mom walked into the hall and blinked. Squinting, she peered down at Gabby, holding her candle forward to get a good look. “Oh, a griffon. Well, at least we won’t need to worry about grossing anypony out.” “Did you think I took one of the crusaders or something?” I furrowed my brow. “Maybe.” Mom smiled and ruffled my mane. “I go out to help your father hunt, you know. It’s not that big a leap to think that you might do it too with your very special somepony.” “Wha? Eww!” I squeaked. “Mom!” “I know, I know.” She brought a hoof to her mouth and chuckled. “You aren’t interested in that stuff yet. You two have perfect timing, though. The flatbread is just about done. Night, go set the table for one more, then keep your friend company. Miss…” “Gabby.” The griffon nodded, holding her talon out to shake Mom’s hoof. “Miss Gabby.” Mom smiled as she took the offered talon. “If you could just head into the living room over there, Night will be with you in a moment. Would you like my candle?” “I’m good.” Gabby waved Mom off. “I have pretty good night vision.” “Excellent.” Mom turned to head back into the kitchen, and I zooped past her. Knife. Fork. Napkin. Plate. Spoon! Did we need spoons tonight? Eh, might as well toss it in. I ran from the kitchen to the dining room and launched everything from my back with a practiced buck. It flipped end over end through the air, landing with a soft thwump on the center of the table. “Score!” I pumped my hoof before cantering up to make everything nice and neat. “Don’t throw the cutlery when we have guests, Night!” Dad bellowed from the family room. “You might actually hurt somepony!” “Sorry, sir!” I booked it to the family room and pounced on Dad to hug him. “Just getting the job done quick.” “Nice and prompt,” he rumbled as he squeezed me back. “Excellent work, soldier.” My ear flicked as the oven timer went off and the crackle of thunder filled the house. “Mom, need any more help?!” “I’m fine, sweetie!” Mom called back. “You just go sit with your friend while your father and I bring everything in. Tempered—” Dad jumped a little beneath me. “—fill a few pitchers of water and bring them out to the girls!” “Yes, dear.” Dad stretched, and a few of his joints popped with very loud and audible cracks. “Quickly now!~” Mom teased. “You’re still on thin ice for trying to sneak a peek at my secret ingredient earlier! If you don’t want to sleep on the couch, then get to it!” “I can just push the couch into the bed, you know!” Dad roared back as he picked up speed and cantered toward the kitchen. “Ah, but that’s cheating! You do that and you’re sleeping on the floor!” Mom giggled from somewhere… underneath us? “And if I buck the bed apart?!” There was a brief rumble from the sink as Dad turned it on. “Then we’ll both be sleeping on the floor!” Mom’s giggles became outright laughter. “It’ll be just like our honeymoon!” “Your parents are weird.” Gabby chuckled as I pulled her into the dining room. “Yeah, but they’re also pretty awesome.” I puffed out my chest. “They taught me everything I know!” “Really? Wish my parents would do that,” she whistled. “The only time my family ever taught me anything was when Uncle Grubber gave me a free lesson on why there’s no such thing as a free lesson.” “Sorry….” I squirmed in my seat. “Nothing to apologize for.” Gabby grinned. “You know, you have this bad habit of apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.” “I do not!” “Do too.” “Do not!” “Do too.” “Do no—” I blinked as I caught Dad smirking at me in the door, and I realized how stupid this argument must sound. “Sorry….” I lowered my gaze. “Ha! Now you’re just messing with me!” Gabby slapped me on the back. “Play nice, girls.” Dad trotted in and lifted two pitchers of water and ice off his back. As he set them down, the snow and hail inside swirled about, settling with a few tinks. Several glasses quickly joined them and he poured us all a round. “Alright, then.” Mom slowly walked into the room with a bottle wrapped in one wing and a platter of hot, flakey flatbread balanced on the other. “Tonight we have something I found on my recent mission with Princess Twilight and her friends. It’s an istallion cheese called casu marzu.” Setting the bottle and plate down, she retreated back into the kitchen and returned with a covered tray. “It’s a pretty simple dish. Just spread the cheese on the bread and enjoy.” A sharp, pungent smell assaulted my nostrils as Mom lifted the tray up to reveal an almost liquidy cheese that writhed with hundreds of tasty wriggly maggots, Without missing a beat, she dug her knife in and spread the cheese—maggots still attached—on a piece of bread and popped it into her mouth. Chewing slowly, she licked her lips and briefly leaned over to kiss Dad. “Surprise.” She smiled as his wings rustled violently and he coughed, finally falling into her seat and rubbing her stomach. “Ooof…. At least I still got it for another couple of months.” “I don’t think it’s possible for you to lose it, dear.” Dad gave a rumbling laugh as he recovered. “You’ll always be as pretty as the day I met you.” “We were six when we met, Tempered.” Mom giggled. “Sun blast it all, I can’t use that line then, can I?” “Not unless you want me to have to arrest you, dear.” “You’ve put me in jail before, Glory.” Dad wiggled his eyebrows as he took a piece of bread and lifted his knife. “I have very fond memories of a night or two in juvie thanks to you.” “You broke the law, doofus.” Mom laughed. “I am the law.” Dad stuck his tongue out before tearing off a bite of his bread. “Scree!” I lunged to get my own share, and several of the maggots suddenly leapt for freedom. “Oh, wow, they do stunts!” “Best. Dinner. Ever.” Gabby moaned as she took a bite. “Happy anniversary, dear!” Mom popped the cork on the bottle and Dad suddenly tumbled to the floor. “I thought our anniversary was midsummer!” Several bad words floated up from under the table. “It is.” Mom tittered, pouring us all a small glass of something dark. “I just wanted to check that you remembered.” “Sun-blasted hormones.” Dad groaned as he climbed back in his seat. “Only eight more months!” Mom chirped as she bit into another slice. “Mmmm…. You know, normally I don’t like bugs if they’re still wriggling, but this is really good!” “That would be the cravings, dear.” Dad quickly downed his glass and blinked. “Oh, right. Pregnant. Still, this is good stuff. Where’d you get it?” “It’s that bottle Twilight gave us when Pinkie threw the baby shower. Normally, you drink wine with this, but…” “Of course.” Dad nodded. “Which baby shower, though?” “The first one. Twilight said she and her friends donated it themselves.” “Donated what?” Gabby took a sip of hers and frowned. “A couple Ks and Qs. Maybe a U and a T.” Dad licked his lips. “That doesn’t really answer my question.” Gabby’s next bite was more cheese than bread. “I’ll take it if you don’t want it!” I greedily guzzled the rest of mine down and took her glass. “It’s really tangy!” “Would you look at that, Glory?” Dad laughed. “We got a connoisseur on our hooves! We’ll have to start packing little bottles instead of juice boxes soon!” “No.” Mom thwapped him with a wing and kissed him on the nose. “Bad Tempered.” “Your parents are so weird.” Gabby shook her head. I just giggled and nodded along, dipping my next slice of bread in the dark, tangy goodness. Then something tickled my brain. “Hey, Gabby? Did I tell you that I taught Scootaloo how to make chicken noodle?” Gabby choked, gagged, and then we all burst out laughing.