//------------------------------//
// Chapter 57 - Giving the tour. 
// Story: The True Me 
// by lightningman 
//------------------------------//

“Sweet. We were just about to charge in after you.” Sage said.
"So, what's next?" Asked Deadpool.
"Well, since the danger has passed for today. I think we should give you guys the tour." I look around to see where we were. "I guess we're going to rarity's first."
"Alright, lead the way," said SoundWave.
"Isn't it right there?" Asked Deadpool as he pointed.
"Shut up Peter," said SoundWave.
"He's right. I chose that because it's closest." Soon I opened the Carousel Boutique. But I couldn't open it all the way when it hit something on the other side of the door. I frown and look on the other side. I see Rarity fainted. I sigh and pick her up. I put her on her fainting couch.
"Why did she faint?" Asked SoundWave.
"The better question is, what happened to make faint without the couch?" Asked Deadpool.
"We did just destroy a bunch of timberwolves outside of her store," I say
"Fair enough," SoundWave and Deadpool said.Sage disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a bucket of water, which he gently poured on Rarity, causing her to jerk awake, much to the amusement of the redhead duo.
"That was fucking hilarious!" Said Deadpool.
"No, it was rude," said SoundWave. "And you two should apologize" he continued.
“S-*snrk*-sorry, couldn’t-*snrk*-couldn’t help myself,” Sage said.
“I’ve done that before to Cely with Lu and she damns near torched our asses off because of it,” Alex said.
"Ignore my friends miss Belle, their idiots," SoundWave said to Rarity.
"HEY! I resemble that remark" said Deadpool.
"You sure do resemble an idiot," I say.
"Damn, straight savage," said Deadpool
"Well, You're going to continue getting it if you don't use 'resemble' properly. It's resent. Not resemble." I then groan. "God, I'm sounding like Twilight here."
"Twas a joke," said, Deadpool.
"Moving on, are you alright Ms. Belle?" Asked SoundWave.
"Y-Yes dears." Rarity wiped her face and got shakily to her hooves. "I just didn't expect more of you." She then sighed. "Let alone a pack of timberwolves outside of my shop."
"Don't gotta worry about those wolves anymore, there's nothing left, we burned their ashes," said Deadpool.
"How do you?- you know what, I don't care," said SoundWave. "Anyway, im glad your OK Ms. Belle" he continued. "Will you be all right if we go to check on the rest of your friends?" He asked.
"I'm coming with you." She said quickly. "Um... To see my friends. Yeah." She nodded and cast a glance at the ashes.
"Alright," said SoundWave.
"We have to bring my least favourite character with us, man fuck this," said Deadpool as he touched his belt buckle. "Later motherbuckers," he said as he teleported away.
"(beep)" said SoundWave. "Oh, we're back to being censored" he continued.
"Hold on." I pull out a card. "Request MLP-DP1405." Suddenly a portal opened and Deadpool was brought back. "Hello again."
"What the fuck?" Asked Deadpool. "Stop abusing the heart of the cards!" He yelled as he teleported away again.
"Your gonna summon him again aren't you?"
"I'm going to keep doing it until he hears me out." I summon him again. "Dude, you teleported here, now you have to see at least one episode out. Everyone else has."
"OK fine," said Deadpool. "Let's go to Flutter's, she's probably already found that damn parasprite" he continued.
“Question. The most important part of the episode besides the friendship report and you-know-who showing up is Pinkie’s one pony band, right?” Sage asked.
"Hey guys, what did I miss?" asked Mason, seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
"single sentence? rarity faint and Deadpool scold."
"What do you mean?" asked Mason.
"You missed Rarity fainting and Deadpool getting scolded," said SoundWave.
"I'm just gonna teleport to Fluttershy's," said Deadpool as he teleported away.
"Primus damn him," said SoundWave as a portal appeared in front of us. "Let's go" he continued.
"oh and um... pretty much yeah," I said answering Sage's question
"Oh. Sooooo are you guys going anywhere and can I tag along?" asked Mason.
"yeah, we're going to my marefriends place."
"Just ignore me," said SoundWave as he walked over to the portal. "I'll see you all at Fluttershy's cottage" he continued as he walked through the portal and it closed.
"Alright. So who's your marefriend?" Mason asked after Soundwave left.
"Fluttershy." I shrug and smile. "Anyway come on." I wave for them to follow and soon enough, we get to Fluttershy's house. I saw the other guys there waiting for us. I knock on the door.
"What took you guys so long?" Asked SoundWave.
"I don't like teleporting every time I have to go a short distance. I only use apparation if I'm going long distances." I then frown. "I'm pretty sure anyway." I groan. "Unless something is drilled into my brain, then I'll forget it easily." I shake my head. "Getting off topic, we walked here, that's why it took so long."
"Fair enough," said SoundWave.
"You already knocked right? What's taking her so long? Is she even home?" Asked Deadpool.
Just then the door opened and blue eyes peeked out. "Oh! Hi, lightningman." The door opened and Fluttershy flew up and hugged me. I hugged her back
"That's what I get for opening my big mouth," said Deadpool.
"Exactly," I say to him without looking at him. Fluttershy looked and saw the new humans. "O-Oh.. h-hi." She waved a bit.
"Hello Ms. Shy, my name is SoundWave," said SoundWave.
"Sup Flutters, names Deadpool, but you can call me Peter," said Deadpool.
"And that's Mason Solstice," said SoundWave.
"You already met the other two." I gesture to Sage and Alex. "Right now We're just here to give them a tour. It began well enough with us fighting some Timberwolves. Jasper was happy." I smile. While Rarity trotted up to Fluttershy and hugged her. Rarity whispered something in her ear and she nodded.
"Well, since your giving them a tour, then I might as well join you. Also. what did you do with the Timberwolves?" She tilted her head.
“Torched em to ashes and dumped them in a lava dimension,” Sage said.
“We’re pyrophiliacs,” Alex added.
"Isn't the term pyromaniacs?" Fluttershy asked as she moved a bit closer to me and away from them.
“Pyromaniacs are people who psychotically love fire and will burn anything, living or not. Pyrophiliacs are people who love fire but know what to burn when to burn it, and we’re. In other words, pyromaniacs with a sense of morale and reason.” Sage said.
"you have morals and reason?" I ask in mock shock.
"Don't look at me, im just as surprised as you are," said SoundWave. "I think id keel over and die if I found out Peter had morals" he continued.
"Buck you," said Deadpool.
"Me too." I shrug. "Anyway. Twilight's house we go." We left for her house and Fluttershy and Rarity came with us.
"Yeah I don't have the patience for us all to walk there," said SoundWave as he opened a portal. "Who's taking the portal with me?" He asked.
"I know I am," said Deadpool.
"Anyone else?" Asked SoundWave.
“Hey, guys.” Sage and Alex said from the other side of the portal.
“Also yes, we do have morals and reason,” Sage said.
"I'm still human and need my exercise. So no." I shake my head. I then groan. "God damn I'm sounding less like myself by the second. Yeah, im going to the portal with you."
"How the hell did you get on the other side already?" Asked SoundWave.
"And that means your all going through the portal," said Deadpool as he jumped through the portal.
“Chaos magic,” Alex said.
“Ki,” Sage said.
"Aren't you worried that will release Discord early?" Asked SoundWave.
"Don't worry about that." The author said. "I'm currently keeping any chaos energy from reaching him. There's a protective barrier throughout the entirety of the gardens."
Alex had a dark look in his eyes as he glanced at lightningman. “His ass will be mine,” Alex said darkly.
“Jesus fuck, dude. The hell happened between the two of you?” Sage asked, surprised.
“He messed with my sisters, and not in a friendly way,” Alex said. Sage gained a serious look.
“I swear to everything holy and unholy, if I find your ass beaten, I will make Discord beg to be stoned before kicking your sorry ass into a year-long training session with me,” Sage said.w
“Don’t count on it,” Alex replied.
"There's a gay joke I can make here." I point out.
The mildly angered duo turned to lightningman.
“Don't.” They said.
"One gay joke? their's multiple jokes, gay and straight, I can make here" said Deadpool.
"Don't," said SoundWave.
"Guys, do you really want to threaten your ambassador while you're here?" I smile
“Fine, fine. Just make sure we’re here when Discord shows up.” Sage said. Alex settled himself into a corner and closed his eyes, a look of mild anger still on his face.
"Get over yourself Alex," said SoundWave as he stepped through his portal. "We've got more important shit to do right now" he continued as he knocked on Twilight's door.
The door opened. "OH! Hi." She leaned to the left and saw me. I shrugged. Twilight sighed. "So there's more of you guys? What can you do?" she asked before seeing Fluttershy and Rarity and she could barely react before they hugged her.
"Hello Ms. Sparkle, my names SoundWave and as far as my abilities are concerned, I can weaponize sound and open portals to anywhere," said SoundWave.
"Sup, names Deadpool, but you can call me Peter and my ability's are being a violent Pinkie," said Deadpool.
"You already know Alex and I. Our abilities are a bit more complicated and diverse. You've seen only a few of my thousands upon thousands of capabilities." Sage said.
"And you've hardly seen any of mine," Alex added.
"How long have you two been here?" Asked SoundWave.
“We got here yesterday,” Alex said.
"Damn," said SoundWave.
"Im getting sick of this shit, did you find any strange small round flying creatures today Flutters?" Asked Deadpool.
"What are you doing Peter?" Asked SoundWave.
"Moving this story the fuck along," said Deadpool.
"Random comment, it's amazing how many ponies don't notice you when you're really quiet," commented Mason as he stands somewhere off the side of the group.
"you are a pony. you're like a background character with them around honestly. Speak up more while you're with us. that should fix it."
" Eh, anything I say will become irrelevant, " said Mason with a blank face. "Honestly, I sometimes think it's better to remain unnoticed sometimes," added Mason with a sad smile.
"Kinda hard for a three-story tall robot to go unnoticed, or a robot of my design in general," said SoundWave.
"And I love being noticed, maybe a little too much," said Deadpool.
"True, I guess it depends on your personality and environment," replied Mason.
"Guess it does," said SoundWave.
"Anyway," said Deadpool. "Flutter's, can you please answer my question?" He asked.
"strange? no. all I met matching that description is this guy." suddenly 2 parasprites fly out of her hair. "huh?"
"Oh thank Stan," said Deadpool.
"Is today Invasion day or tomorrow?" Asked SoundWave.
"invasion day?" twilight mouths to me. I wave it off. 
"it's tomorrow. we should be able to finish the tour within the hour at this pace."
"Ware to next?, Cuss I can just portal us there," said SoundWave.
"I have to wait until tomorrow to leave? NNNOOOOOO!" Yelled Deadpool in Darth Vaders voice.
" Actually, anyone feeling kinda hungry? " asked Mason.
"Do you have food or money? Because I don't." I deadpan.
"Pinkies it is then," said SoundWave as he opened a portal.
"At least one good thing happened today," said Deadpool as he leaped through the portal.
"Oh no," I said as I jumped through the portal. The girls looked at each other worried that I had said that and followed me.
"Well, there goes the town," said SoundWave as he went through the portal.
“The hell do you mean by that?” Sage asked as he and Alex went through the portal.
"You ever watch death battle?" Asked SoundWave.
"I'm gonna go on a wild guess and say that something bad will happen if Deadpool meet Pinkie Pie," said Mason
"Most likely," said SoundWave.
"Your a real smart ass, you know that right?" Asked Deadpool.
"Yes," said SoundWave. "But I do it brilliantly" he continued.
“He shines with smartassery,” Sage said.
"Thank you, thank you, i'll be here all night," said SoundWave.
"Are you idiots going to stand here while two of the most potentially dangerous people in this universe meet each other?" I Yell
"Oh right," said SoundWave as he grabbed Deadpool by what would be his collar if he was wearing a shirt. "No Pink pony for you without us there" he continued.
"Fuck you Wave," said Deadpool. "Put me down!" He yelled.
"Will you behave?" Asked SoundWave.
"By behave do you mean do everything you say?" Asked Deadpool.
"Yes," said SoundWave.
"Than no," said Deadpool.
"Alright, then I'll just keep a hold of you," said SoundWave as he ripped Deadpool's belt off and tossed it to Lightningman.
"Oh god." I held it away from me. "I don't want to catch crabs or AIDS! Why did you throw it to me?"
"It's a fucking belt, man the help up LightningMAN," said SoundWave.
"This is so fucking embarrassing," said Deadpool.
"Shut up you," said SoundWave.
"Dude. My Friend Brandon suggested the name. I thought it sounded cool. So shut up. I will easily admit that I am far from a man." I glare and crack the belt at him like a whip.
"I ain't into that," said SoundWave.
"Shouldn't that have been my line?" Asked Deadpool.
“If you’re that much of a pussy then give the belt to the sentient virus,” Sage said, holding a hand out.
"Fuck you, man." I was surprised when the author said. "I purposely took of the censor on that bit."
"Props on growing a pair of balls," said Deadpool.
"You do realize he's pretty much a god right?" Asked SoundWave.
"Yes, but I don't give a fuck," said Deadpool.
"I can literally summon a giant thumb to squish you like a bug, regeneration ability or not. You know that right?" The author told Deadpool.
"Come at me you big electric cock gobbler!" Yelled Deadpool.
"And your gonna die," said SoundWave.
"You're really annoying. I hope you know that." I groan. 
"Boy is that the truth." The author said. "I'm glad I didn't have to deal with him in my version of this universe. But right now? You're barred from this dimension for the next week." There's a popping sound and a portal opens up. "You want to go home? Fine. Because of your a bigger pain in the ass than a thousand wasps."
"Yay!" said Deadpool as he got out of SoundWave's grip and grabbed his belt. "See ya later motherbuckers!" as he jumped through the portal.
"Thank Primus he's gone," said SoundWave.
With, that, a giant fist came flying down and began to slam into the ground where the portal disappeared. "FUCK... THAT... DUDE!!!!" The author yelled.
"Yeah." Just then a pink blue zipped by and knock Soundwave off of his feet. When the smoke cleared, Pinkie Pie was standing on top of Soundwave and staring into his mechanical face. "Barricade? Is that you? You look different."
“Pinkie, meet SoundWave,” Sage added.
"Pleasure to meet ya, Ms. Pie," said SoundWave. "Could you please get off of me" he continued.
"Soundwave?" Pinkie Brightens even more. "OOH! Can you help me with something? Huh? Huh? Can ya? Can ya? huh? huh? huh?" Pinkie began to bounce on Soundwave's stomach.
"Uh sure Pinkie," said SoundWave.
"YAY!" Pinkie Stood soundwave up and ran to his back. She suddenly pulled a guitar out of nowhere and plugged it into him.
"What are you doing back there?" Asked SoundWave.
"your name is Soundwave. it only makes sense that you amplify sound right?"
“Possibly violating you.” Sage translated.
"Fair enough," said SoundWave to Pinkie Pie. "I highly doubt it" he continued to Sage.
"Does anyone know what we're helping Pinkie Pie with?" asked Mason.
“Parasprites?” Alex said.
"Oh right. If I remember correctly, they hate sound right?" asked Mason.
“No, they’re attracted to it,” Sage said.
"Oh. Whoops, my bad. Anyway we going to try to lead them of town right? " asked Mason making sure of the plan.
"Yep, but tomorrow," said SoundWave. "The episode has to play out" he continued.
"So now what?" asked Mason as he idly started tapping his hoof.
"we shouldn't have brought soundwave here, now the timelines gonna (beep.) up....... NOOOOO!!!!"
"Well, it can't get any worse," said Mason.
"there are 4 universal facts. 1. the sky is blue. 2. the sun is hot. 3. pinkie pie shall not be questioned. and 4. the universe will screw you up if you tempt it." I glare at him.
“Pinkie has an electric guitar plugged into his back. The only way it could get worse is if SoundWave became a DJ table.” Alex said.
“Next thing you know, she’ll be playing a guitar version of some song on YouTube,” Sage said.
"Ohhhhhhhh [beep], I just invoke Murphy's law haven't I. Oh hey, that was the first time I cursed, " said Mason.
"I can turn into a turntable actually," said SoundWave as he did just that. "And yes you did temp Murphy" he continued.
"How does one avoid the wrath of Murphy?" Mason wondered out loud.
"You can't, that's just a law of the Omniverse," said SoundWave.
"Omni-what?" asked Mason.
"You know multiverse right?" asked SoundWave.
"Yeah" confirmed Mason.
"Well Omniverse basically says that every dimension in the multiverse has its own multiverse," said SoundWave.
"..... my head hurts" complained Mason after thinking about it too hard.
"Mine doesn't, but that's probably because it's the best computer ever made in the entire Omniverse," said SoundWave.
"All the more reason how robots can easily take over the world," deadpanned Mason.
"I wouldn't worry about that, this version of me isn't evil," said SoundWave.
"Yay," said Mason
"So was there a specific song you wanted to play Pinks?" Asked SoundWave.
"Don't encourage that." I glare. "If you do, the timeline is going to screw up. Pinkie? Can you hold off on this until tomorrow please?" Pinkie looks at me and she sighs.
"Alright." She unplugs her stuff.
"Alright that was pointless," said SoundWave as he turned into a robot again.
"Duh. This wasn't supposed to happen until tomorrow." I groan and rub my face. "That was a close shave."
"You can't change the timeline," said SoundWave. "No matter what you do, the future you know will always happen" he continued.
"Probably with your multiverse yes. But this is mine, not yours. Things aren't set in concrete here."
"Possibly, but I doubt it," said SoundWave.
"It's true. you know." The author said. "My experience in this world was nothing like this. So technically I'm a future alternate universe version of the person standing with you."
"That doesn't seem logically possible," said SoundWave. "Given that can be applied to everything in this multiverse" he continued.
"I don't understand everything about it, All I know is that it happened."
"Anyway, who's next?" Asked SoundWave.
"We've done rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Twilight. So now we have Rainbow Dash and Applejack. And before you say anything, they are not with each other."
"Ruin a perfectly good joke why don't ya," said SoundWave sarcastically. "Which one are we picking up first?" He asked.
"Rainbow Dash is a lesbian. So don't try picking her up." I joke
"I couldn't tell," said SoundWave sarcastically. "She's literally a walking pride flag" he continued.
"Anyway. We're going to Applejack's first since I haven't figured out how to fly yet. But I will soon." I vow.
"Right." said SoundWave as he turned into aGlobal Hawkand flew through a portal he made.
“Need I remind you that we are a group of five with three capable flyers? You can hitch a ride with Alex and I can airlift Mason. On top of that, I know the cloud walking spell.” Sage said.
"Oh cool, I never flown before," commented Mason.
“Wanna make a bet?” Sage asked Mason. “Five says you’ll have a feeling of nostalgia.”
"Will you a-holes stop standing in a circle and come through the portal already?" Asked SoundWave.
"honestly? id rather figure out how to fly myself." i then got an idea. i pull out my cards and take a deep breath. "cross your fingers for me guys."
"I don't have fingers," replied Mason looking at his hoof.
"your also apparently buzz killington." i sigh and activate my cards. i groan as i focus all my power on speed and body control. i land on my hands and knees as i began to vibrate, i could feel each individual particle hitting me. i opened my eyes and saw the air particles, i move my foot and put it on them. since i was vibrating at the same frequency as them, they managed to keep me in the air. i take my other foot off the ground and stood on air. it was a huge strain to do this, but i figure if i practice, ill get used to it. i look up and saw you guys moving in slow motion, i relax my mind to slow it down to normal speed. i look down to see myself floating. "holy tartarus."
"Impressive," said SoundWave. "Now would you lot please come through the damn portal?" He asked.
"meet you there." i said quickly and disappeared, not by apparation, but by the running.
"And i left the portal open for no reason," said SoundWave as he closed the portal.
Sage grabbed Mason as Alex teleported to Sweet Apple Acres, before following shortly after the god.
"Took you guys long enough," said SoundWave. A gust of wind kicked up dirt and lightningman appeared. "heyguysheywhatareyoudoingimnotdoingmuchiwasflyingoverherewhenigotanideaabouthowtogoevenfasteriwentandmademyselfsomecaffeineandalcoholandnowimfasterthaneverheyyouthinkicanbeatpinkiepieatspeedeatingnowwhatabouttwilightatreadingorrainbowdashatflyinghuhuhuhyouthinkican?" i said extremely fast as i bounced around.
"Should someone stop him?" asked Mason as he watched lightningman jackhammering himself into the ground.
"Sugar rush," said SoundWave. "Next comes the sugar crash" he continued.
"Imnothavingasugarrushitscaffeineandalcoholwhichnormallywouldbebadformebutwithmyspeeditsgoingthroughmeleavingonlythegoodstuffbutyouarentansweringmyquestionsohtheresapplejack." another dust cloud and im gone next to applejack who just exited her barn.
"He's on a CAFFEINE and ALCOHOL rush, so ignore his dumb(beep)" said SoundWave. "Names SoundWave, nice to meet you Ms. Apple" he continued holding out a hand.
"Hi Applejack," said Mason waving his hoof.
"hi. more of yall? also..." she gestures to me. "why?"
"Cuss me and Mason are the only sane Displaced in this universe," said SoundWave. "And before you say (beep), I know you're not a actual Displaced Lightning man" he continued.
"true." i smiled. i then blink a few times. "whoa. when your body goes faster than normal that means your hangovers go faster than usual too." i rub my temples. "its still like jackhammers though,"
"Why would you think it was a good idea to go faster by drinking caffeine and alcohol in the first place?" asked Mason.
"dude. im 16. im in the world of my dreams and ive been here less than a month. im also full of superpowers and it goes to my head at times. my personality is now in almost a constant flux to me, and i dont know what normal has been for years. i think you should cut some slack on my choices."
"So you're saying your superpowers makes you go crazy?" asked Mason with a raised eyebrow.
"power corrupts. absolute power corrupts absolutely. mine works on a watered down version of that. dangerous overconfidence at times. that confidence makes me a bit crazy yes."
"But then I got a power too, my Magic Breaker. How does that not affect me?" asked Mason.
"yours has limitations. so yours doesnt corrupt that much. keep it that way. dont be like me."
"Hey, remember when I said that my power can break anything supernatural? Do superpowers fall into that category?" asked Mason with a thoughtful look on his face.
"I'm not sure at all." I said thoughtfully
“It just occurred to me that I could literallyeatSmokes McGee and Black Snooty.” Sage said.
“Why and how?” Alex asked.
“Cuz why not and I consume corruption to grow stronger. Even my own corruption.” Sage answered.
"I find it amazing how easily distracted you all get," said SoundWave.
I deadpan at him. "That's why you're here. So I don't have to keep track of what's actually happening around me. When you leave, that's when i'll pay attention."
“I literally went from evicting Luna from my mind to taming the fauna of the Everfree.” Sage said.
"Sooo why are we here again?" asked Mason.
“Tour.” Alex said simply.
"Oh right." I snap my fingers. "Now that You've met Applejack. It's time to go to rainbow dash's Place."
“Airlift time! Mason, welcome aboard Incarnation Airlines. Hold your piss n’ stuff cuz we ain’t got toilets.” Sage said before picking the pony up and rising a few feet into the air.
"Where is Rainbow Dash's place anyway?" asked Mason.
"Um. I believe it's somewhere between the Diamond Dogs field and The northeastern windmill."
"Cool, let's go then," said Mason. I begin to run, and my cards were still activated so I was running on the air still. Sage, carrying Mason, followed behind Lightningman along with Alex.
"I hate being the sane one" said SoundWave as he turned into his Global Hawk mode and followed them.
"AM I CONSIDERED SANE?" Mason yelled over the wind rushing past him.
"Not sure yet" said SoundWave.
"Awwwwww," muttered Mason with a disappointed look.
"Don't be sad, makes you look weak" said SoundWave.
"Eh, whatever, everything is more fun when you're crazy, " said Mason.
“He understands!” Sage shouted happily, sharing a gleeful grin with Alex.
"And we're back on the crazy train, Ozzy would be proud" said SoundWave.
"we're here!" I say. I land on the clouds, using the same trick with them like I did with the air.
"And ill just hover here in jet mode" said SoundWave
"Anyone willing to carry me for the entire time we are here?" asked Mason.
"Laser Beak can do it" said SoundWave as a metal bird popped of his back and grabbed Mason by the shoulders with its talons.
“My pone.” Sage growled, holding onto Mason even tighter.
“Geez, dude. Chill.” Alex said. Sage grumbled in response.
"Gah! My ribs!" cried out Mason in pain .
"I am surrounded by idiots," said SoundWave, Laser Beak nodding in agreement.
Sage loosens his grip on Mason in response. “Better?”
"Yes, soooo much better," Mason sighed in relief.
"Who's knocking on Prides door?" Asked SoundWave.
"The one who led us here," said Mason as he pointed at Lightning man.
"You heard the man Lightning, knock on the door," said SoundWave.
I roll my eyes and knock on the door. "Rainbow Dash. It's me." A few seconds later the door opens and Rainbow Dash is looked at all of us.
"How did you guys get up here? Are humans able to walk on clouds?" She asked
“Lightningman is effectively kicking the air, SoundWave is hovering, and Alex and I are using magic.” Sage said.
“Yep.” Alex said.
"Oh." Rainbow Dash said. "I... Guess that makes sense? I'm not very good with that egghead stuff." She shakes her head. "Anyway. What are you doing here?"
"We're here for a tour. I'm showing them around the place." I smirk. "Later, I'm going to use Apparation like I used with you and Pinkie to the same place." Rainbow Dash looked confused for a moment before bursting out laughing.
"You're going to bring them there? I would love to see their faces."
“There’s nothing eggheaded about it.” Sage mumbled.
"i have a feeling that this isn't gonna be as fun as Skittles thinks it is, for us anyway" said SoundWave.
"The last time he did it, he challenged Blueblood to a duel." Rainbow Dash said. "And what are skittles?"
"A rainbow colored candy" said SoundWave. With that Rainbow Dash zipped inside and slammed the door. 
"YOU AREN'T EATING ME!!!!"
"You... Really should have expected that honestly." I said
"I dont want to eat you" said SoundWave. "And even if i did, which i dont, i dont have a mouth or any other means to consume you" he continued.
"YOUR A ROBOT!!! YOU CAN JUST PUT SOMETHING ON YOURSELF TO EAT ME! AND IF YOU DON'T, THE OTHERs PROBABLY DO NOW THAT THEY KNOW ABOUT THE CANDY!"
"For Primus sake, you are one paranoid pride flag" said SoundWave.
"Hey. What would you do if you were an ordinary human and aliens showed up on your doorstep saying that you looked like one of their treats?" i ask
"As fair of a point that is, shes known you for a while, shouldn't she trust her friend, being the element of loyalty and all" said SoundWave.
"I've been here less than a month. I'm an alien with the knowledge of the future. Most ponies here are still a little bit wary around me. That includes some of my friends."
"That's (beep)ed up" said SoundWave. "Litarily Bridle Gossip all over again" he continued.
"Dude. They overreacted to a (Beep.)ing Zebra. Guaranteed their gonna overreact to me. They're getting better though. With the constant stuff that I'm doing, I'm slowly making them more used to the shock of something unexpected."
"OK, Rainbow aint coming with us obviously, so ware to next?" Asked SoundWave.
"We visited Pinkie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy. Twilight and Applejack. Now it's just time for the place I mentioned." I hold out my arm. "Hold on tight."
“I almost want to drag the living gay pride flag with us against her will.” Sage said.
“Same, but we probably shouldn’t.” Alex said before whispering something in Sage’s ear, earning a mischievous grin from both. They walked over and joined lightningman.
"You need to hold on tight or else you're probably gonna lose a leg or two." I say. "Apparation is very tricky when done. It's even trickier when you have passengers. Especially 4 passengers."
"Well your gonna have to hold on to me, i dont have hands right now" said SoundWave. I grab hold of him and everyone else holds onto my other arm. 
"Ready?" I turn on the spot and we disappear with a loud crack. It felt like we were going through a small rubber tube from the pressure. Eventually, there's another crack and we reappear in the Royal courtroom in the middle of Day Court.
"HEY, Celestia!" I smile and wave. The nobles groan as they see me.
"Do you do this often?" Asked SoundWave as he transformed into robot mode. "Doesn't seem very politically correct" he continued. "Your majesty" he said as he turned and bowed to Celestia.
"I believe this is the third or fourth time i've done it so far." I shrug. "it's been getting more frequent. Anyway." I clap my hands. "Where's Luna?" I ask Celestia.
"She's in her bedroom. Don't go and wake her up again." Celestia said with the 'Remember what happened last time' face.
"I do recommend you listen to the pony sun goddess" said SoundWave. "Last thing I want is a pissed off pony moon goddess" he continued.
"Finally a human who listens," Celestia says. She looks up to see I was already gone. "Greaaaaaat." Celestia groans. The redhead duo grinned at each other before teleporting to who knows where.
"Son of a glitch" said SoundWave. "And im not a human, im a Cybertonian" he continued.
"I don't care. You get Lightningman. I'll see what those other two are doing." Said Celestia irritably.
"Alright" said SoundWave as he opened a portal right in front of Lightningman making him run through it and back into the throne room. "Sup" said SoundWave.
----------------------------------------------------------------------Meanwhile------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Luna is gonna be pissed!” Sage said to Alex.
“No kidding!” The god replied.
"All of you are children," deadpanned Mason as he watched the chaos unfold.
"I'm sadly not the least bit surprised" said SoundWave.
"I can understand the need to have fun but at least I have some restraint," said Mason.
"Ok, your officially one of the sane ones" said SoundWave.
"Aww.." I frown. I then look through the window. "Soundwave? Look at the moon."
"Scrap" said SoundWave. "We're (beep)ed" he continued.
"I got this," I say as I take a deep breath and apparate to grab Sage and Alex. I charge up my lightning and send a wave of it across the surface of the lightning, burning the paint off. Then, before I let go of my breath, I grab them and apparate back. I take a deep gasping breath. "(Beep.) ME. That sucked. The duo snickered before everyone noticed Sage counting down with his fingers. When he reached zero, nothing happened. The two looked out the window and broke down laughing. 
“I told you he would do it!” Sage said in between laughs.
“Explosive paint was the best idea ever!” Alex said. The moon was decorated with scorch marks that read ‘REDHEADS WERE HERE’.
"Fuck both of you." The author and I said at the same time. Just then Luna burst into the throne room.
"WHO DARES DEFILE MY MOON!!" She yelled with the royal canterlot. She looked around and saw the redheads, She enveloped them in her magic and began to glare at them.
"Hi Princess Luna," Mason said casually waving his hoof in greeting. Luna merely nods her head at Mason as she continues to almost choke the two that are in her magical grasp
"Should I help them before we have 2 people to bury in the ground?" asked Mason as he watched Sage and Alex struggled in the air.
"No, One of them is a god and the other is a shapeshifting virus. You're fine." Sage summoned his demon energy, eleminating Luna’s grip on him while Alex dispersed into smoke, shocking the princess long enough to reform out of her grip.
“Not sure what you were trying to gain from that, but it won’t work.” Sage said.
"Alright then, sorry guys," said Mason.
“Not you Mason, I was talking to Luna.” Sage said. I promptly walked up behind them and smacked them both on the head. 
"Don't exploit your powers and take responsibility for your actions. And before you say anything, i know it's me saying it. But it's my story, not yours. Now I have to deal with those scorch marks on the moon. God, I can't breathe up there even. You know how long that's gonna take to do that?" I yell at them.
"Can't you ask somepony to give you a spell to breathe in space?" asked Mason
"Is it possible in this universe?" I turn to luna. She appeared to be thinking for a few seconds before shaking her head.
"nope. Then apparently, ill have to find a way to breathe in outer space by myself." I groan. "Greaaaaaaat." Celestia smirks a little bit at this.
"Well, didn't humans create some sort of suit just for space travel? Just use that," reasoned Mason.
"And you say that you don't know anything about humans," I smirk. "But I would have to get all the materials and refine them, and somehow work out a way to create the suit. And that's not even taking into account how my powers would affect them. And I would, of course, need my powers to fix up the moon, so I would need to figure out a way to use them through the suit."
"Well to be fair, ever since one you mentioned I might be a human, I went to the library and start digging on transformation spells and memories. From my research, I find out about the process of reincarnation and past lives. Ever since that, memories started to come back at an agonizingly slow pace," explained Mason, "And its either find parts for a space suit or potentially dying of lack air in space,"
"....When did you go to the library? We've all been together since you came here. Seriously, is one of your powers to make a copy of yourself and have all it's memories as well?" I ask
"Remember all those times I didn't say anything at all? That was me leaving you guys and going to the library. You yourself said that I was like a background pony," said Mason. "It's honestly amazing how many people don't notice you when you are very quiet."
"That... makes a lot of sense actually," I say. "Use that to your advantage in the future." I smile. "Anyway. I said that I would have to figure out a way to do it. Hmmm...Sage! I need you to give me an ability to turn on and off my cartoon physics at will, please."
"So now what?" asked Mason.
"If I can make my biological being not include my lungs, then I shouldn't have to worry about breathing. My lightning and aura will take care of the oxygen to the other parts of my body somehow,"
“Sure. Also, the scorch marks weren’t permanent. They had TF2 physics.” Sage said, summoning Rasiel and giving lightningman the ability to activate and deactivate cartoon physics.
“It was a genius idea.” Alex said.
"Screw you guys, It's still gonna take forever." I glare as I turn on my physics and rearrange my body. I then apparate to the moon and begin to clean. Every so often, apparating back and smacking them in the head.
"On behalf of these idiots, sorry for the trouble," said Mason as he apologized to Princess Celestia and Luna.
“Don’t know what you could be cleaning up there except smoke. The scorch marks vanished while you were having a chat with Mason.” Sage said.
“He’s cleaning an illusion.” Alex said. Sage stared at him with an annoyed deadpan expression.
"I know it's fucking smoke. But i still have to push it away from the moon."
"Did someone turned off the censor? Cause now I can hear you guys cursing." said Mason noticing the lack of censorship.
"No. I'm just purposely blocking the censor." The author said. "At least for me and my counterpart. For you guys, it's still in effect."
"Now that that's over, it's a pleasure to meet you your majesty," said SoundWave bowing. "And I apologise for my idiotic friends" he continued.
"I second that," added in Mason.
"Anyway. Since you guys are all here." I say once i was finished. "We should get back home." The redhead duo was disappeared after lightningman said this, supposedly teleporting to Ponyville.
"...idiots." I groan. "And I don't remember if I gave them their dimensional coordinates or not."
‘You did, Sage has it written down in here for us.’ A feminine voice said in Lightningman’s head.
"....motherfucker. Your either a split personality of Alex. Their author. Or a family member of theirs." I say and groan
‘Actually, I’m Juubi, the Ten-Tailed Wolf. Sage mentioned me during the whole Bridle Gossip fiasco. I’m sealed in Sage with the other Biju and the Bending Spirits.’ Juubi said.
"....This is gonna get complicated now isn't it?"
‘Possibl- HEY! THAT’SMYDRAGON BONE! GET BACK HERE YOU (beep) FOX!’ Laughing was heard momentarily before there was an absence of presence in lightningman’s mind.
"We should really get home. Theres a war going on in alex's mind." I sigh
"Are you (beep)ing kidding me?" Asked SoundWave.
"No i am not." I shake my head and apparate us all home.
‘I’m in Sage’s mind.’ Juubi said, masculine cries of distress ringing out in the background. Once we get home i search for the two redheads that had been causing all this. I eventually spot them and i grab them by their necks and drag them back home. Using my aura to trap them so they can't escape even if they used their powers.
"This is (beep)ing bull(beep)" said SoundWave. "I should not have to fix someone else's mind scape" he continued.
“Fix who’s mindscape?” The duo asked.
"You two are OK with this so called war in your guys's heads that Lightningman mentioned?" Asked SoundWave.
"Can someone explain how a war in one's mind works?" asked Mason
“What war?” Alex asked.
“He’s talking about Kurama stealing Juubi’s dragon bone. Don’t worry about that, it’s sorted out and Kurama is tied up by redwoods.” Sage said.
"OK, this is the weirdest and stupidest adventure ive ever been on" said SoundWave. "And ive been to Peter's home universe" he continued.
"Peter's Deadpool, you're used to it being screwed up. This is my universe. It works on half-assed physics. You expect it to make sense at times, but it doesn't when you look at it closely. So just enjoy it." I say.
"Im a logically thinking being, this will never bring me joy, just robot headaches" said SoundWave.
"Then shut down about half of your brain and use only half of your computing power while your here."
"I've already done that, still hurts me brain" said SoundWave.
"Then I can't help you." I shrug. "I've fried supercomputers before. But never have I had to make one stop having headaches."
"I'm just gonna power down until tomorrow when the invasion happens" said SoundWave as he turned into turn table mode and Laser Beak popped off his chest. "I'm leaving Laser Beak with you guys, he better still be alive when I wake up" he continued as he powered down. Laser Beak just stared at all of us from on top of SoundWave.
"Geez." I walk to the turntable and lift it. "Oof. This dude is really fricking heavy." I look at the others. Come on."
"Who gonna take care of Laser Beak?" asked Mason.
"I leave Jasper alone so he can get food for himself. Why not Laser Beak?" I shrug. Laser Beak flies over and lands on Mason's shoulder
"Guess I'm watching him then," said Mason. A device popped out of Laser Beaks head and a recording started to play:
"Laser Beak is a free spirit, the only person he allows to boss him around is me, dont get on his bad side and you'll keep all your toes" when the recording ended the device went back into Laser Beaks head.
"..........Alright then, I'm gonna go play on the Xbox," said Mason as he head towards the living room.
I groan and then look at Sage and Alex. "Hey you two. If you want to. You guys can leave. You were already here for an episode and more. You probably have ponies you need to take care of or something."
“Tia and Lu can easily handle themselves. They managed for a few years and Tia has an entire millennium worth of experience ruling alone.” Alex said.
“And I’m not widely known or constantly interacted with. On top of that, I do a lot of adventuring. The ones who will worry already know that I won’t be gone for long. But, then again, I do have those genetics projects going on... meh, Gaia will handle it.” Sage said.
"So, in short, you aren't leaving anytime soon?" I ask
“Unless you tell us to get going then no, not really.” Sage said.
"I don't mean to be rude at all, But it's getting hard to keep track of you all. Plus you seem to be getting more out of hand by the minute. It's even worse when both of you are together. I would very much prefer it if you would cause chaos in your own dimensions." I said
"Yeah. The barrier may be protected by plot armour, but you guys are very much likely to break it." The author said.
“Nah, it’s cool. It’s a lack of a sense of responsibility that makes us like this. It’s why I prefer living and doing things on my own. Still miss my sis though.” Sage said.
“Same here, but my sisters live with me. It’s easier ruling a nation with three rulers than two.” Alex said.
"Ok. You have your cards and both of you know your dimensional coordinates? I don't want you to get lost in the multiverse and having to do trial and error to get home." I say
“To be honest, we dont even need them to get home.” Sage said, a portal opening behind him a moment later. “I can open portals.”
“Got any hammocks?” Alex asked Sage, walking through the portal.
“HA! Enough to supply a seven universe army.” Sage replied, following Alex through the portal.
“Sweet!” The portal closed a moment later and anything the duo might’ve forgotten disappeared.