Friday
The morning so far had been just as rough as the day before making Fluttershy thankful that it was Friday. Of course she was skipping second period, but after all of those eyes on her all morning and her friends crowding her so much, she just needed a little room to breath. Not to say that she didn’t appreciate the concern, especially after what she had done, but she realized that it was a mistake. A mistake born from her father and brother’s abusive attitudes until the divorce and they left. Then her mother’s retreat into the bottle after her career was ruined before it could even take off because of some stunts her own father pulled hurting the two he left behind to suffer.
At least her mother wasn’t abusive, just absent from parenting for the most part for a couple years until the final straw that was the relentless bullying from several students pushed her over the edge. She regretted it now, and she was thankful that she didn’t succeed especially now that her mother was getting over her drinking and her friends were getting back together. It was a relief in a way, though all of the attention was starting to make Fluttershy feel smothered.
And if feeling smothered by all of the attention that meant well, it wasn’t the only thing on her mind after overhearing Trixie and Sunset talking yesterday. She didn’t understand a lot of what was said while hiding in the bushes with Angel bunny. She did understand that Sunset had a daughter and it sounded like a lot of the bullying she did was to keep people from finding out. And while Fluttershy didn’t approve of the method, she felt bad for Sunset as it sounded like she needed friends though was afraid she didn’t deserve them.
Washing her face while her mind whirled with the thoughts of everything Fluttershy had on her mind, she took a deep breath before looking up into the mirror to nearly freak out seeing Gilda was standing there behind her looking nervous. Whirling around Fluttershy backed into the sink as she tried to keep her shaking under control.
“Hey.” Gilda said, her hands shoved in her jacket’s pockets as she scuffed a sneakered foot on the floor finding it hard to look into Fluttershy’s eyes. “So, you came back?”
“Yes.” Fluttershy managed to squeak out in a barely audible whisper, though much like Gilda has always been able to do she easily picked up on it.
“Look, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry Fluttershy.” Gilda croaked out, fighting the urge to blush as Fluttershy looked up at her in surprise studying her eyes. “I never meant for things to go far enough that you thought the only escape was to do what you did.”
“Then why do it?” Fluttershy asked, a little anger seeping into her voice as she hugged herself. True, Gilda wasn’t solely responsible for what happened, but she helped push Fluttershy to do it.
“Fluttershy, I really don’t know what to say. DO I tell you my family hates me except for my grandfather because I’m not like them? That I’m weak in their eyes? Or do I tell you that I looked for a person who I could easily target that was weak like my family saw me?” Gilda growled out, pain in her voice and eyes. It was all true and more.
“I know about family causing you pain.” Fluttershy said, wondering if she was crazy as she took a step forward and put a hand on Gilda’s arm in a comforting way trying to follow a belief she had always held that her father tried to beat out of her. That sometimes all it takes is a little bit of kindness to make the world a better place.
“Yeah, I imagine you do with the father you have.” Gilda sighed getting a raised eyebrow in question from Fluttershy who wondered just how the girl knew him. “Our fathers are drinking buddies, man I hate them.”
“Is that the only reason you tormented me?” Fluttershy asked making Gilda flinch at the word.
“I guess I did torment you, I don’t know how you could ever forgive me. Though I guess there was another reason I chose you.” Gilda sighed pulling away from Fluttershy and faced the stalls, leaning her head up against the frame of one. “I did it so I wouldn’t risk showing I had feelings for you and my father finding out. I’m already an outcast in my family, if I don’t find a strong male for a mate, I’m not sure what they will do.”
“You have feelings for me?” Fluttershy gasped taking a step back in shock as she tried to figure out of this was another cruel game or the truth. Looking at Gilda for a few moments filed her with confidence that it was all true which confused Fluttershy even more. What was she supposed to think? Feel? Do? She had no answers to those questions as Gilda balled her hands into tight fists.
“From the moment I met you I felt a powerful draw to you. My family, we are kind of different from most people. It’s said that when one of us finds the one meant to be out mate we will just know it. Choosing a same sex partner is considered the ultimate taboo as we are expected to provide strong children for the next generation.” Gilda explained as she began pacing. “I can’t have feelings for you, they would likely hurt you and me both!”
“Calm down, it’s okay.” Fluttershy said reaching out to pat Gilda’s shoulder. “If you let me, maybe we can work through this. Maybe you just want a friend, not a…mate.”
“I don’t think it is a good idea.” Gilda said shaking her head vehemently. “Look, I am sorry for what I did to you. For what I cased you to do. We just can’t be friends, or close. You have no idea what my family is like.”
“Gilda, you can’t keep going on like this if this hurts you enough to lash out at everyone.” Fluttershy pleaded, intertwining her fingers with Gilda’s. “I don’t know if I would ever be able to be with you, there’s just too much baggage, but it doesn’t mean I can’t help you if you let me. We don’t have to be best friends forever, but we can start somewhere and try and go from there. Casual friends, or more, I’d like to see where it would go if you would let me. We can even be secret friends for now if you like.”
“You know how crazy you sound? This is your second day back and you are trying to befriend the person who put you in the hospital to begin with.” Gilda laughed.
“I was the one who put myself in the hospital by the choices I made. Yes, you may have played a role in that, but so did my friends and family. I’m not going to lie, I still hurt over it. I still have a hard time sometimes accepting that they want to be there for me. But in my heart I know they do, and I’m doing my best day by day to get better. Maybe this is something that will help me, and help you. Like I said, we can just be secret friends for now if you like, maybe chat online or text if you like.” Fluttershy said squeezing Gilda’s hand.
“As long as you don’t ruin my reputation for being the biggest badass here then I suppose the least I can do is try.” Gilda said as she rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. “Come on, we better go before the bell rings.”
“Here, trade me numbers first.” Fluttershy said digging out her phone, after a moment of hesitation Gilda doing the same with a nervous smile.