Her marefriend had been sleeping on the couch for the past week.
She didn't understand why, really. It wasn't like she'd issued an ultimatum, or anything, she'd just been... upset about it. And then her marefriend had coldly announced she would be sleeping on the couch until she'd come to her senses, and... things were tense. Flowers, apologies, serenading... through it all the object of her affection said she wouldn't come back to bed until she understood what was going on. Except she did understand. She knew what had happened, she knew how the other mare felt, why couldn't that... that tease see it!
Maybe today would be different, she'd thought as she descended to hear her better half humming. Hey, the mare had made her breakfast! Shouldn't she be the one making breakfast? She was the one in the wrong, they both knew it...
Still, food was food. So she sat down, hoping to engage her marefriend in conversation. And then she realized there was only one place, and threw up her hooves in frustration.
***
"Oh come on, Bonbon! I said I was sorry! Like, a lot of times!"
The cream mare gave her an evil smile. "Eat up, deary, you have a big day ahead of you!"
Lyra carefully prodded the pancakes with her fork, knowing that this was another way of beating her up. "Hey, you want some of this?"
"What, do you think it's bad?" A melodramatic pout.
"No, I just want to share its wonder with one of the best ponies in the world!" Her ears caught up with her head. "And what do you mean I have a big day ahead of me?"
"It's a surprise. Seriously though, if I come back in this kitchen and there's a scrap of food left on that plate..." The confectionist pointed a hoof from her eyes to the musician's heart. "I'm headed for the shower, won't be long!"
Watching her flank disappear with a grumble, Lyra picked up the fork and knife and cut into the flapjacks. They were, as always, delicious. Still, it was kinda wrong to not see Bonbon across the table... or in her bed... or anywhere with her really. She'd made a point of purposefully remaining in sight, but not in reach. Why in Tartarus did she love that mare?
After she finished the pancakes--and, pointedly, scrubbed the plate and stuck it in the drying rack--Lyra Heartstrings headed up to the bedroom. She was tempted to use the key above the bathroom door and walk in on Bonbon sopping wet, but a memory of when that last happened stopped her. Instead she just pulled out her lyre and began tuning the strings.
Eventually, Bonbon stepped out, wrapped in a towel. "Oh, did you finish eating?"
"Yeah. And I cleaned up after myself, thank you."
For some reason, Bonbon frowned. "What a good little puppy. How's the lyre?"
"Oh, she's still going strong!" The unicorn put away her tools, strumming the strings experimentally. "Could use some polish on the wood, but she sounds fine to me. Not like that time in Canterlot..."
Her marefriend tilted her head. "What time in Canterlot?"
"....It's a long and sordid story, Bonbon. I have no wish to discuss it."
"Fine, keep your secrets."
There was a knock on the front door. Lyra started. "What--? Who could that be?"
"Probably your surprise." After ensuring that she was, indeed, dry, the cream mare dumped her towels in the laundry basket.
"My..." The musician glanced at her, confused. "Wait. Aren't you going to get that?"
"Nope. It's your surprise, not mine." Bonbon lounged on the bed.
Lyra gave her a suspicious look, walking to the bedroom window. She leaned out and looked down at the front porch.
"Hiya Lyra!" Pinkie waved up at the unicorn with a plunger-covered hoof. She was wearing glasses and her winter wrap up vest for reasons Lyra couldn't fathom. "Your local Psychologest got called in to poke your brain!"
After a few moments, the unicorn announced in an absolutely deadpan voice, "Bonbon, I'm leaving you."
"Oh you'll come crawling back." Her marefriend plucked her saddlebags from their resting place and put them on. "Well, I'm off to work. Have fun with Pinkie Pie!" Humming a tune, she waltzed out of the bedroom.
Lyra glanced back at her, then turned back to the window--coming face to face with a cheerful pink smile. "GAH! Pinkie! Why are you climbing the wall?!"
"This is part of my cardio routine!"
"You have a cardio routine?"
"Yep! How else do you think I work off all that energy I get from eating large amounts of sugar on a daily basis, hmm?" The baker leaned in, glancing around. "Wow, nice place you got here."
"Um, thanks." Lyra considered asking Pinkie to leave, before remembering that Bonbon had arranged this. Which probably meant it wasn't happening anytime soon. "So, Pinkie, you said you're going to poke my brain?"
"Well not really because cutting open your head would kill you but I am going to use my brain to figure out how your brain works and how I can help you work it better so I guess a better way to say it is I'm going to be training your brain with my brain kinda like Rainbow Dash trained those pegasi for that tornado thingy even though she didn't actually train Fluttershy." Pinkie clambered into the room, haphazardly kicking her plungers off into the corner.
"Look, what happened is I overindulged in a fetish that Bonbon is tired of. Okay? I know what I did wrong, I'm sorry for what I did wrong, and it won't happen again." The musician turned away. "There, problem solved. We're done. Let's move on."
"Oh no, nononono. If all problems were solved that easy I wouldn't have a job!"
"Really." Lyra rolled her eyes skyward. "We're really going to do this. Really."
Pinkie sat on the bed and pulled out a notebook. "Now miss Heartstrings, tell me about your mother."
"...You know what, fine. I'll play along." Lyra turned back to the baker. "My mother was an earth pony living in Canterlot with almost my exact same colors who bought a fake horn after I was born so I wouldn't feel like a freak in my own home. One day it fell off and I was traumatized. Since then I have descended into necrophilia, anorexia, and sociopathy. The end."
After a moment, Pinkie lowered her glasses. "You're not taking this very seriously are you."
"Hay no."
"What's your special talent?"
Random question, but okay. "Harmonics."
"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."
Lyra backed up uncomfortably. "...Why are you smiling like that?"
"No reason. No reason at all." Pinkie scribbled down something on her pad, then tore it out and placed it in front of her. "Hey, can you play this tune?"
"Um... Yes." It was a really simple tune, three notes and a repeat then a descending triplicate of hill pitches. "I think most musicians could play this."
The baker grabbed her lyre and pushed it to her. "Prove it!"
"What?"
"Play the song! I wanna hear it!"
Lyra raised an eyebrow. "Right now?"
"Yep! Right now."
"....Alright, fine." The unicorn strummed her lyre. "It is kinda pretty. What's this tune called?"
"The Song of Time." Pinkie was grinning and holding on to the instrument.
"The Song of--" Belatedly, Lyra realized her horn was glowing. "OH HORSE--!"
***
"--APPLES!"
Lyra glanced around furtively trying to find anything familiar in the room. It was, she realized, the same room, that is it had the same dimensions.... but the wardrobe was smaller, and the bed had a different mattress.
"Wow, this place was really spartan in the past." Pinkie walked next to the bed. "No nightstands or anything."
"Yeah, I bought the nightstands after---"
The musician blinked.
"....You planned this!" She pointed an accusing hoof. 'Somehow you knew some, some magic song and you realized if I played it--"
"Actually I left myself instructions." Pinkie shrugged. "Well, I suppose I'm going to leave myself instructions now. Back here I'm still on the rock farm."
"What--How does that even--?!"
"Stable time loop. Speaking of which, we should get out now before Bonbon gets back from school."
The baker walked out the bedroom door, humming something under her breath. Lyra walked after her, trying to keep her head as she considered the facts. She was in the past, okay. Magic music wasn't a total unknown, although how Pinkie had managed to trick her into casting a spell would forever elude her. What was important now was getting back to the future. And sadly, the very pony that had brought her here was her best bet at sending her back.
"Wow. Bonbon didn't have a lot of money back now." Pinkie looked over the simple chair and table that rested in the living room. "I guess you will do something important in her life. Just being in here is making me really sad."
"Yeah, before we met, Bonbon was... kinda... listless." Lyra let her eyes ascend to the ceiling. "It's better not to talk about this period of her life.... it's me you're psychobabbling about, not her. Let's focus on me, okay?"
"Oki doki loki! How'd you send us to the past?"
Well that had been abrupt. "Um, well, you see... okay, I can't do magic."
The baker blinked. "But you just did magic!"
"Nonono, I can't... I can channel magic, if I use music, but I can't control it." The musician glowered at her. "Which means that when I played your little song of time, my magic cast itself into a time travel spell and I STILL don't know how you knew that song!"
"Like I said, I told myself."
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! How in the hay could you tell yourself something you never learned?!"
Pinkie grinned mischievously. "I thought we agreed to focus on you, miss Heartstrings."
"I--You--But--"
The pink pony gently took hold of the sputtering unicorn and led her out the door. "It looks like you could use a little relaxation. I think there's a show some foals are putting on, it'll be really entertaining! And sparkly."
***
Lyra had to grudgingly admit, the show had been entertaining. And sparkly.
Yes it was a nonsensical show about dancing muffins or something, but the dances were really very good for a slipshod foal's production. And seeing a little Cheerilee on the stage had been... rather eerie. Pinkie seemed to enjoy it though, especially as all the foals who had helped came onstage for a final bow ("Oh my gosh, lookit! Rarity is adorable!"). And then, after the show, they'd gone for smoothies...
"So, Lyra! Tell me about this fetish that's going to get between you and Bonbon."
The unicorn smacked her head on the table. "Oh, not this again...."
"I got hired to help you and I'm NOT telling you how to get back until I think I have."
Lyra sighed. "Okay okay... okay. I... um. How do I say this...." She breathed in. "I'm an.... well, I... I'm an otherkin."
"A whatnow?"
"I'm an--" The unicorn remembered who she was talking to and verbally backed up. "Oh geeze. How do I explain this.... Okay, um, Pinkie. How would you feel about being, oh, let's just say.... a honey badger."
"Well having claws and being short would be really weird but the thick skin and the whole venom resistance thing sound cool plus there's all the honey I could steal and would I be a normal honey badger or a pink one--"
A mint hoof was jammed into her mouth. "Okay, wrong question. Can you imagine yourself as a honey badger?"
"Mmmph!" The pink pony nodded. "Mmph mpph mm phm mphmm."
Lyra removed her hoof, glancing around self consciously. "Alright. Now... let's say you're a pony and you know it, buuuuut you can only imagine yourself as a honey badger."
"Wait." Pinkie leaned in, peering over her glasses. "Are you saying... you're a honey badger?"
"Wha--No! No, no the honey badger thing is an example! I mean, there are ponies that... just can't think of themselves as ponies, even though they know they are."
"Oh." The baker tapped her hooves on the table. "...Okay, I could see how that could work. And you're one of those ponies?"
"Yeah." The unicorn buried her face in her hooves. "I'm one of those ponies."
Pinkie slurped her smoothie thoughtfully.
After a moment, she put the drink down. "Well I don't think that's what Bonbon hired me about."
"Wait..." Lyra looked up in confusion. "That's not what she's worried about?"
"Nopey dopey! She seemed pretty certain that she 'liked you like you were' and just needed to get over yourself." Pinkie grinned. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm an otherkin too. Or was anyway. I used to be a pegasus, but then I took an arrow to the wing."
The musician stared at her, jaw gaping.
"...I do have one teeny tiny question though."
"Uh...." Lyra composed herself and crossed her forehooves. "Er, of course. Shoot."
"What's a fetish?"
***
"Lyraaaaaa where aaaaaare you?"
Pinkie wandered the streets of past Ponyville, looking for the unicorn she was supposed to be tending to. After she'd asked her innocent question, the mint green pony had given her a simply incredulous look, then an understanding one, and then panicked for no reason whatsoever. If she was this flighty it was no wonder Bonbon had hired the best Psychologest in town...
In a nearby alleyway, the unicorn in question pressed herself flat against the wall and inched further into the shadows. Maybe, just maaaaaybe, if she hid long enough, she wouldn't have to be the pony to give Pinkie The Talk. She didn't want to be the one responsible when that bundle of energy decided to throw, oh geeze, a fun party and things got out of hoof--
"Miss unicorn, why are you standing on two legs?"
Lyra started, looking down at the filly. "AGH! Shshsh, I'm hiding from...."
She blinked. "....um, you... wouldn't happen to be named Berry Punch, would you?"
The purple filly stared up at her with suspicious violet eyes. "Yeeeeeeeees..... are you a stalker?"
"THERE YOU ARE!" Pinkie burst out of a nearby dumpster, startling the unicorn to the ground. "Don't run off like that, Lyra, I still need to tell you how to get back to the future!"
"Pinkie!" Lyra shouted, jumping up and clamping her hooves around the baker's muzzle.
But it was too late, the words were said. Berry was giving them an increasingly wary stare. "Wait. You two are from the future?"
Lyra shook her head. Pinkie nodded.
"...Yes or no?!"
"Ah, um, my friend here is... having an episode!" The musician blinked. "Yes! She has this, um, thing where she imagines random things and--"
"Whatever." The filly rolled her eyes. "I'm going home now, don't follow me."
"Oh okay then!" Pinkie grinned, clambering out of the dumpster turning to Lyra. "Why don't we continue with your treatment?"
"You're the one that needs treatment," the musician growled. "Let's just go."
The baker waved at the filly, who returned her gesture with a deadpan look. Then she grabbed the unicorn, tugging her back out into the streets. Soon enough they were walking in no particular direction.
"...I'm so confused," Lyra muttered. "Here we are in the past and you are acting like everything's normal!"
"Would you have listened to me if we were in our own time?"
"I-- What kind of question is that?!"
Pinkie shrugged. "Oh I don't know. It's meant to make you reevaluate yourself and your identity as a person, thereby causing a sudden revelation after which you change your attitude and regain your marefriend."
"Does that really work?"
"Sometimes!"
"Seems kind of hit and miss."
"Well, whatever works!" The pink pony gave her a pointed look. "But in all honesty, would you have listened to me if we were in our own time?"
Lyra pondered the question. "....Probably not," she conceded eventually. "You're, well, Pinkie. The party pony. Not serious in any way. But taking me to the past is a bit of overkill, don't you think?"
"There is no kill like overkill!"
"Really? Why haven't you drowned everypony in confetti yet?"
"Just because there's nothing like overkill doesn't mean it's always necessary." Pinkie spun on her hooves. "So what do you think you need to do when you get back?"
After a moment, Lyra shrugged. "Well, I'm going to make sure I never get sent to the past again. And I'm going to tell Bonbon I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For forcing her to endure my fetish."
Pinkie nodded to herself. "You're halfway there."
The unicorn blinked. "What...?"
"Oh just talking to myself!"
***
They eventually ended up... Well...
In the future, this would be Fluttershy's Cottage. But Fluttershy had yet to move in. So for now it was An Old Cottage Built By A Former Gypsy Who Courted Granny Smith And Failed To Win Her Affection Then Fell Back Into Wanderlust. Lyra snorted as she found the stallion had left some odd sheets of music, mostly half-written love songs that came out sounding like lullabys. She paused as she recognized a set of notes; the Fluttershy of her time was always humming this tune to calm down animals. Huh.
"...And why are we here?"
"No reason whatsoever!" Pinkie Pie bounced up and down, examining every nook and cranny. "Ooo, look at this! I never knew this mole tunnel was here! Oh, here's the hole Fluttershy will fill up after I throw her that birthday party!"
"Pinkie..."
"Huh, it looks like Fluttershy'll have to replace the furniture." There was a loud snapping noise. "And... the stairs too. I always wondered why those seemed to be tacked on, they didn't look like the stairs as Sugarcube Corner but more like stairs in a barn you know what I'm saying where every step is a single board and there's space to hide secret things between them like toys or cakes or water balloons or if you're really lucky a secret room that you can invite ponies over to party in but this cottage is too small for something like that--"
"PINKIE PIE!"
"Yes Lyra Heartstrings?"
"What will I have to do to convince you to take me home?"
"Nothing!"
The unicorn blinked. "...What, really?"
"Nope!"
."....Please take me home."
The baker tilted her head. "I can't do that, silly filly!"
"But you just said--"
"Ahem." Pinkie tapped her forehead. "What do you see here?"
The light dawned. "...You're not a unicorn."
"Thaaaaaaat's right."
"We're stuck here."
"Thaaaaaaat's not right."
Lyra's eyes shot up. "Wait, what?"
Pinkie sighed. "Okay, I'll spell it out. I know how you can get yourself home. In fact, I could tell you right now. But I'm not going to tell you until I think you've gotten what you need. This is solely so I can foster a feeling of dependance in you as part of your therapy. And yes, before you ask, I am aware this makes me irrevocably a bad pony."
There was a moment in which, had this been the future, there would be a lot of chirping birds and skittering mice. But instead there was silence.
".....WHAT. THE. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY?!?!?!?"
Lyra lunged at Pinkie, who sidestepped the attack with a roll of her eyes. The unicorn turned around, preparing to lunge again.
"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING PINKIE?! I have--We have a life in our own time! Don't you get that?! I have Bonbon and you have, I don't know, the Cakes! Ponies depend on us! We need to get back now!"
The pink pony again dodged the furious mint-green hooves, idly dusting off her vest. "Well, I guess I can see your point, kinda, ponies need me to throw parties and make pastries. What about you?"
"What do you mean what about me?!" Lyra threw up her hooves. "I'm an awesome musician! I write symphonies and ballads and, and rock music and EVERYTHING! Do you know how many commissions I have?!"
"None yet."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"
Pinkie tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm. I do recall Bonbon mentioning that you have written exactly two hundred and forty seven compositions of variable quality since you moved in with her and are currently working on at least three more if not seven."
"....Yes! Yes, that! Exactly!" The musician, reminded of her achievements, turned to the dusty window. "That's what I'm giving this world, Pinkie! I'm giving it music! And I will rot in Tartarus if it isn't the best music I can make!"
"Everypony remembers great tunes," Pinkie conceded.
"Yes they do."
"Everypony remembers the good sounds."
"Yes. I know."
"Nopony remembers the composers."
It hit Lyra like a buck to the gut.
But, after a moment, she hung her head. "You're right. Play a piano? You're awesome, crowd loves you. Play a guitar, cello, bass, even the disk jockeys get remembered. But unless you're good, really good, nopony remembers the songs you write. And even then, it's only a few... few songs..."
After a moment, she turned back to the pink pony. "That's what I am. Face in the crowd. Yeah, I'm a weirdo with my... otherkin thing, so that gets me some points. And I know that some historian somewhere is going to write down 'was almost Princess Cadance's bridlemaid' when they summarize the whole Changeling invasion. But.... Pinkie, you're an element of harmony, you defeated Discord! Celestia publicly recognized you! A thousand years from now, who knows, you could be the patron saint of.... joke shops or whatever!"
"Very good points." Pinkie adjusted her glasses. "But none of them have anything to do with Bonbon."
Lyra stared at her.
"Who, I might add, was the one that hired me. You're on the right path though," the baker added. "Just narrow it down a little."
"...I.... guess I kinda... well, with Bonbon I feel... like I'm actually doing something. I feel..." The unicorn waved a hoof. "It's... harmonious, I guess. My talent isn't music, it's harmony, so... yeah. And--"
She gasped suddenly.
"....Aaaaaaand?" Pinkie prompted.
"....I just realized. I made myself the leader. I made myself the center of our relationship." Lyra's eyes were wide with shock and self loathing. "I, I took her life and now it's orbiting mine and that's not right that's just--"
"Stop."
A pink hoof landed on her lips. A pink face gave her a gentle, understanding smile.
"Now you know the problem. You've been taking her for granted, right? Well then don't do that anymore. Let her tell you what she wants. Let her lead, okay? That's all she wanted."
After a moment, Lyra nodded.
"And to get back home just play the Song of Time again."
The unicorn blinked. "Wait.... just like that? That's it?"
"That's it."
"....You're not going to ask me about my mother?"
Pinkie giggled. "Silly filly, that was a joke! Besides, I already asked Bonbon about your mother."
Lyra gulped. "So, um, you know--"
"That you weren't making up the thing about the fake horn. Yes. Did it really traumatize you?"
After a moment, the musician cracked up in loud gales of laughter. "HahahHAHAhahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaHAAAAAHaha!"
"....I'll take that as a no."
In the end, Lyra wiped a tear from her eye as she managed to regain her breath. "Ha ha... haa.... ha, heh... Well. It's been... long and hard, Pinkie. I think I'll head home now." She pulled out her lyre and plucked a necessary notes.
"I'll meet you up ahead!"
"...Wait, aren't you coming--"
***
"--with me?!"
"EEP!" Fluttershy jumped behind the couch as Lyra looked around the cottage in confusion. "Where did you come from?!"
"I just--" The unicorn glanced from her lyre, to the cowering pegasus, out the window, then back to her lyre. "...Oh dear Celestia. Pinkie Pie, what have you done?!"
There was a knock on the door. The yellow mare shrieked again.
"Heelloooooo? Fluttershy?" A familiar pink pony suddenly opened the door. "Are you in--Oh hey Lyra, you're back!"
Lyra was stunned. The baker didn't look old and wrinkly in any way. In fact, aside from the fact she was no longer wearing her vest and and glasses, she looked practically identical to how she had looked when Lyra last saw her. "But... what... how?!"
"Oh, I convinced Celestia to lock me in stasis until a couple days ago so I could get on the train and tell myself about this whole thing. She actually had me hidden behind her throne this whole time, can you believe it?" The baker giggled. "Now I know where she got her sense of humor. Anyway, I just came by to tell you Bonbon's waiting at your place."
"Celestia locked you in stasis?" Fluttershy pulled herself out from behind the couch. "Why? Lyra, what's going on?"
"Bonbon's waiting for me, that's what's going on!" The unicorn dashed out the door, intent on amending the situation.
"Go get her girl!" Pinkie cheered.
The pegasus looked between her and the open door. "Um, Pinkie... I really really want to know what's going on here."
"Oh Lyra just chronoported back from the past and left me behind thereby forcing me to trot all the way to Canterlot and convince a past Celestia I wasn't a crazy fanfilly so she could use her magic to get me back to the right time except she couldn't do that without attracting Twilight's attention so she put me in stasis instead and did you know stasis is really really really really really boring?!"
Fluttershy blinked.
Very very slowly, she came to the conclusion that Pinkie was just being Pinkie. The inclusion of another pony in the equation had thrown her, but after she thought about it Lyra was a bit odd in her own way. Clearly, her own oddity had somehow attracted some Pinkie...ness, and so her sudden appearance in the cottage could be traced back to Pinkie.
"...oh. Okay then." The bearer of Kindness smiled. "Um, could you maybe not scare the animals while you're here?"
***
"BONBON! Bonbon where are you?!"
Lyra looked around the house in desperation, before realizing that the mare in question was... calmly sipping tea in the kitchen. She managed an embarrassed grin. "Oh. There you are, heh...."
Bonbon raised an eyebrow.
"....listen. I... I've been, you know, selfish and conceited and... and I assumed I knew what was best." The musician rubbed the back of her head. "...I let my lust for fame, well, for recognition dominate our relationship. I let my self image come before my... love. I thought of us as one of those sappy romance novels, tomboy and girly girl, and everything worked just like that.... I tried to mold you instead of accepting you. And, you know, I know I've said it, but... I am sorry."
After a moment, the confectionist nodded. "Okay."
"...What, that's it?"
"That's it."
"No 'I'm glad you realized' or--" Lyra stopped. "Oh. I'm doing it again."
"Yep. But you realize it now." Bonbon smiled. "And that's a good start."
"....sooooooooo. Are you, going to, um..." The unicorn gestured toward the couch. "I mean it's your choice, I guess."
"You really don't get this give and take thing do you?" For some reason, the earth pony was amused.
Lyra giggled. "Well, I'm trying."
Bonbon smirked, standing and sashaying up to the blushing mint musician. "Then let's go to the bedroom, my little human, and I'll show you how to really whoop tail."