//------------------------------// // Episode 5: WHAT THE HAY!? // Story: No Matter Where // by Clean Karma //------------------------------// Before you start reading I have to warn you that an F-bomb is dropped in this chapter. There's a profanity tag for a reason. Scootaloo and Professor Karma ran as fast as they could through the underground halls of the Museum. Red crystals on the walls flashed bright red, signaling trouble. Sirens blared as if they trumpets announcing the arrival of danger. As they ran Karma gave orders to the passing Skeletons, mainly things Scootaloo knew nothing about. "I want a squadron of shields in section FC right now! Have Deft meet us on Hall EC! Miss Dash will be coming along, I will keep her safe but I want everyone aware of her! Get it, got it, Good! Now get going!" With a annoyed snort Scootaloo corrected, "It's just Scootaloo to anypony else in this place!" "Please Miss Scootaloo, you're going to have to learn to say everyone. It's not like it makes much difference. You don't want to be considered racially inconsiderate do you?" Another snort, "Whatever." as they ran however the wall to Scootaloo's left exploded, sending her flying into the wall opposite. When she regained her thoughts she could see what appeared to be giant vine sticking out of the wall. It was a sickly green color and was thrashing about, faster than something that size should be able to. before Scootaloo could react it reached for her, but was stopped as a group of skeletons in golden armor surrounded her. They each held shields and spears, if it weren't for the lack of flesh Scootaloo could've mistaken them for Royal Guards. As they fend off the tentacle, other parts of the hall begin to be destroyed as well. Karma grabs her hoof and leads her down the hall again, doing his best to help her avoid the vines. They become thicker until Scootaloo has to ask. "Excuse me, I don't mean to be a let down but uh..." she paused slightly, fearing the answer, though she'd never admit it, "...are we headed towards the source of all the giant vines trying to maim or kill us? Cause uh...I'd rather, oh I don't know...not!" Karma continued to lead her down the passage. "I just need proof is all." he stated emotionlessly. Proof of what? Scootaloo thought to herself. Before she could voice her thoughts, they came to a hole in the wall. It wasn't much different from the others, beside the fact that this opened to room covered from top to bottom in vines. It was a regular jungle. The room wasn't big however, instead, right in the center stood a potted plant. Karma looked to Scootaloo, "Okay, I need you to walk over there and touch one of it's leaves." The universe froze for a second. Scootaloo turned her head to face the changeling. "What the buck do you mean I have to go in there!?" "I said 'need' not 'have' and I believe the word you want to use is fuck." "I don't care! I'm not going in there!" "This is a job requirement." "Why does it have to be me!?" "For the last time, I said 'need' not 'have'. You should really get your ears checked." "Agh!" Scootaloo facehooved in frustration and glared at the plant. "Erg...fine! I'll do it, but you owe me." With that said Scootaloo took a step forward into the literally moving room. She took several more steps until she was directly in front of the plant. Close up, it looks harmless, almost as if it wasn't the cause of the mayhem. She looked at the plant more closely with great curiosity. It pulsated, almost as if it were alive. Cautiously Scootaloo lifted a hoof touched the plant, as soon as she made contact, it went stiff. Suddenly, every vine in the room retracted, and within seconds the entire room was lacking any sort of greenery besides the potted plant itself. Still a little shocked at the sudden change Scootaloo didn't move, in fear that it couldn't have been that easy. When she finally did turn around she could see Karma talking with a zebra...wait. No, not a zebra. Zebras aren't blue with gold stripes, right? Karma stood behind Scootaloo as she approached the plant. As she did so Karma noticed a presence next to him. Karma addressed the being next to him, "Colonel Blunt Force." A grunt could be heard from, "I've asked you time and again not to call me by full title. Only my officers call me that, General Karma." Next to Karma stood a somewhat average height earth pony wearing a variation of Royal Guard Armor, a few minor details different. On his back lay a golden heater shield with a skull design on the top covering nearly half his body. "Okay Force, I know you didn't come all the way here to tell me that. Don't you have some over grown shrubs to take care of?" "I think someone's handling that already Professor." As he said this he nodded towards Scootaloo who was now standing inside an almost empty room in shock. "Have you told her--?" "Yes, yes she knows about the Butterfly Effect. I even told her about Miss Shy." Scootaloo about this time noticed the two talking and trotted over to them. "Did. You. Two. SEE THAT!? I was like a total badflank just now." Karma raised a hoof, "I think the correct term is 'badass'. Really, what do they teach you at schools these days?" Scootaloo didn't stop smiling, "Whatever Karma, I was still totally awesome!" Blunt Force smirked and looked at Karma, "On a last name basis now, are we? I didn't know you had a thing for wings. deft just may have a chance." He laughed a deep rumbling laugh that took Scootaloo's attention. Turning to the orange Pegasus, Force's smile vanished, "I am Colonel Blunt Force. You will address me as 'Colonel' or 'Sir'." To his surprise Scootaloo dropped from her flight position and put a hoof to her fore-head, "Yes, sir." Curious, Force continued, "Name and rank." "Dash, Scootaloo. Wonderbolt First Lieutenant." Force smiled, "Off duty you are to address me as Force." He turned to Professor Karma, "She is going to train, correct?" Karma merely nodded his head. "Alright then. You are in luck, sign up starts tomorrow, 0600. Do not be late. I don't take kindly to slackers. At ease." He then nodded his head to both Scootaloo and Karma before leaving down the hallway. As soon as he was out of sight Scootaloo grabbed Karma by the shoulders, "You didn't tell me I'd get to meet a Colonel!!" "I wasn't planning on having you enter his division either." "What!?" Scootaloo almost appeared offended, "And why the hay not?" Karma didn't answer as he turned around and told one of the nearby skeletons to clean up, much to said skeletons enjoyment. "I said 'why the hay not'!" "Actually, no you didn't. You asked." "Gah!"