//------------------------------// // City by the Sea, Chapter 6: The Military Ball // Story: The Virgin Company (currently editing) // by Pone_Heap //------------------------------// Zip’s platoon was having a grand old time on their trot. ---------- My girl's a vegetable (My girl's a vegetable) She lives in a hospital (She lives in a hospital) And I’d do anything (And I’d do anything) To keep her alive (To keep her alive) My girl’s lady parts are dead (My girl’s lady parts are dead) Guess I’ll kiss her ass instead (Guess I’ll kiss her ass instead) And I’d do most anything (And I’d do most anything) To keep her alive (To keep her alive) My girl ain't got no eyes (My girl ain't got no eyes) Just two holes and lots of flies (Just two holes and lots of flies) But I would do anything (But I would do anything) To keep her alive (To keep her alive) My girl ain't got no legs (My girl ain't got no legs) Just tiny hooks and pegs (Just tiny hooks and pegs) But I’d still do anything (But I’d still do anything) To keep her alive (To keep her alive) Sometimes I play a joke (Sometimes I play a joke) Cut the air and watch her choke (Cut the air and watch her choke) But damn, would I do anything (But damn, would I do anything) To keep her alive (To keep her alive) ---------- Zip was laughing harder than he cared to in front of his platoon. But everypony enjoyed Sgt. Amethyst Flare’s revolting little tune too. It was hard to believe she knew something like that… for everypony but Zip. The platoon roared their disgust and approval, the hills ringing with raucous laughter. It occurred to Zip Amethyst was poking fun at Pvt. Linseed Oil. The guy looked to be enjoying himself way too much, leading to his laughing squad mates giving him a wide berth, as he belted out every cadence they sang. To Zip’s relief, the guy was nuts, but he was apparently harmless to living ponies; his squad leaders had managed to keep something of a leash on him, and he’d been not yet caught in the city morgue. A week-and-a-half on the tail of receiving their new platoon mates, 3rd Platoon found itself out on a day that proved to be beautiful despite the obviosity of fall weather creeping up. The leaves had turned, and soon their trots in the city would prove useful in the annual Running of the Leaves. The nights had grown chilly, and the mornings were an almost insufferable cold damp. There were only 53 ponies out trotting that day. SSgt. Jacinta Petals wound up with a work detail and was unable to join their run. Zip missed her, but she would have stood up to even Amethyst over such a nasty marching song; she never backed down in some matters… Things evened out. Since A Company’s 3rd Platoon had the best record, they’d avoided the split-shift yet again that week, working from 04:00 to 16:00, so they were good and ready for a little exercise and fun before evening. It was Friday afternoon, and everypony was in great spirits. The port was to be closed the next day, and everypony had the entire weekend off! But even better… that night was the autumn military ball. There’d be dancing and alcohol and food and music and good times all around. And here was 3rd Platoon, trotting through the hills, singing silly songs and laughing themselves silly to the point they had trouble keeping rank. Things couldn’t have been much better for them. Without Jacinta there to shoot down any cadences, they’d heard the very worst ones everypony had been holding back. They even sang the one about the thermite and the donkey in the orphanage. And they did “Rape, Kill, Pillage, and Burn” twice. Specialist Trip Wire called out, “I have one, Lieutenant! Dad told me this one once when he was drunk! Wanna hear it?” Corporal Razor Wire guffawed, “I think I know this one!” Zip allowed himself an uncharacteristically visceral grin, “Go for it, Trip!” The rest of the platoon was anxious to hear what Trip had; they knew it would be a fun one. ---------- I went outside to see my old lady (I went outside to see my old lady) Only found the cat and the baby (Only found the cat and the baby) The cat was drunk, but the baby was sober (The cat was drunk, but the baby was sober) The cat cut a fart and knocked the baby over (The cat cut a fart and knocked the baby over) I went upstairs to light a candle (I went upstairs to light a candle) Tripped over the piss-pot and broke the handle (Tripped over the piss-pot and broke the handle) And I couldn’t swim, and I couldn’t float (And I couldn’t swim, and I couldn’t float) And all that piss went down my throat (And all that piss went down my throat) ---------- That did them in; they had to stop for a few minutes. It had them laughing so hard they’d literally collapsed all over themselves. But once they’d caught their breath, they moved on. They even extended their run an extra mile or so, until nopony had any songs left. The ball would begin at 19:00; after the optional chow at normal hours, everypony had an hour to get ready. Well… there were two balls. Non-commissioned officers held an ambiguous place in the military, but in the end, they were still officers… Kind of. Ask different outfits, and you’ll hear different answers. The sergeants and corporals would attend the officers’ ball, alongside the commissioned officers. The specialists were stuck at the enlisted ball, but it was reliably a better time. The food and drink weren’t as good, it was rumored, but both were plentiful and decent. Kegs of essentially bottomless beer and piles of passable food were never unwelcome to most soldiers. A military ball was held at the start of each new season. As 3rd Platoon of A Company had only been around a couple months, this would be their first Vanhoover ball. The rest of A Company, as it was, had only been around a year, seeing a full cycle. Before any kind of fun for two ponies, though, there was a little bit of business to attend to. Zip and Jacinta went to company headquarters for a little end-of-the-week powwow; Zip’s staff sergeant wished to discuss matters pertaining to the newest platoon members. They’d hoped to address things in the early afternoon, but she was busy with her unexpected task. Entering the building, they were greeted by Pvt. Birch, who’d been given a previously empty desk while he was laid up with his broken leg. The private was in a full leg cast and had been given special permission to “stand at attention” while sitting down. He sat up straight and saluted, “Lieutenant, Sergeant, good afternoon.” Zip and Jacinta saluted back; Zip smiled at him, “How’s our budget looking?” Private Birch sat, “We’re actually in the black, sir. Spc. Wire was able to send back the parts we no longer need, so we’re just above even. Our funding won’t be coming in until Wednesday... But when it does, Spc. Wire would like to chat with you two about an allocation. Just glancing over it, you should find it reasonable. Even the new lifts need to be maintained.” Jacinta sighed, “Well, being in the black is a relief… I wish I’d known you were this good with numbers, Pvt. Birch. I could’ve used you before.” The private smiled; before joining the army, he’d worked in a repair shop. He’d learned a bit about everything but was trusted with the business side of things. Zip smirked, “Not getting bored, are you, Private?” Private Birch lounged, “Oh, it’s not so bad… I just want to get back up and moving again… I’m starting to gain weight.” Zip chuckled, “Once you’re in better shape, I’m sure we can work that off.” Looking back to his work, Pvt. Birch nodded, “I do look forward to it.” Leaving the private, Zip and Jacinta went to the back offices. Closing Zip’s office door, the two sat down. “Okay, Jacinta, shoot.” She flipped open some notes she’d been keeping, “I think we can both agree Spc. Duster is doing a bang-up job of things. I tell you, Lieutenant, her brain’s like an… encyclopedia sponge.” Zip could almost believe such a thing. Anything the little specialist read, she remembered. He was quite sure she had a photographic memory. And she probably knew everything there was to know about the platoon, that which she had access to. Shadowing Jacinta, she was like a walking room full of secretaries. The “short-tempered” status she held with the higher-ups probably stemmed from the same reason Jacinta had been believed to be bitchy: she’d been surrounded by assholes that didn’t respect her. But given better circumstances, she was flourishing. Zip had been talking with Trip earlier that day, “Pvt. Caramel Crunch seems to be right at home in 4th Squad. She and Trip are practically inseparable.” Looking further down his own notes, he went on, “Spc. Cocoa Butter’s doing okay, as well, in 2nd Squad. Sgt. Sweet Clover’s impressed with him… I’m glad they have another mechanic, at least.” There wasn’t much to say about these three. Three good soldiers… Three good fits. It was the other three newcomers that were potentially problematic, though none of them had proven so. Zip and Amethyst were the only ones, to their knowledge, to know what Pvt. Mercury Rise might have been. Zip didn’t like keeping Jacinta in the dark, but Amethyst’s dire warning to him was convincing. Still, not in the loop at all, Jacinta was curious… Amethyst told her to not worry... that she’d deal with it… and Jacinta dropped it. She’d learned to trust Amethyst; her word could kill curiosity. But regarding Pvt. Mercury Rise, things couldn’t be better with the young stallion. Whoever “programmed” him had done a fine job of it. Or maybe he was that way to begin with. Nopony could know. He was well-mannered, cultured, talented, helpful, a real gentlecolt… He seemed… perfect; it was the only odd thing about him. Jacinta hated to use the word, but there was no way around it: all the mares in the company were “creaming” over Pvt. Mercury Rise… other than Jacinta herself and Amethyst. He’d been asked by nine or ten mares to be their date to the company’s enlisted ball. In a grand gesture, he’d declared he’d be going stag to the party but would love to spend time and have fun with all of them. This was normal anyway; usually the only stallions to bring dates had wives and/or mistresses. The enlisted ball would be packed with civilian mares and fillies… at least the ones unable to land a spot at the officers’ ball. The stallions around Pvt. Mercury Rise, who might be given to jealousy, were too wowed by his sincere kindheartedness (or whatever might have compelled him to be what he was) to feel threatened. Pvt. Mercury Rise was everypony’s friend. Zip and Amethyst might have been “taken in” as well, but they were the only ones in on the game. Jacinta, impressed, but not excessively wet over him, was just something of a cold fish, the lieutenant supposed; he felt it was a quality he shared with her. Zip was quite convinced he’d never seen a pony keep private and public life so separate. He knew a lot about her but knew nothing at the same time. Brushing aside their “super-soldier”, the lieutenant and his staff sergeant came to discuss the matter of Pvt. Linseed Oil. His “hobby” was another thing Jacinta was kept clear of. If she really wanted to look at his file... Zip would fork it over immediately, but Amethyst had told her the same as with Pvt. Mercury Rise… Jacinta also took this advice. Zip’s corporals weren’t exactly happy about getting the creep in 3rd Squad, but it gave them another set of hooves they wouldn’t have otherwise. And they knew he was a creep if Amethyst wanted to get rid of him! They demanded Zip show them the file before taking the deal. They needn’t demand a thing; it was their privilege as leaders to request files. Disgusted, but not shaken, they’d dealt with worse. Amethyst may have laughed over it, knowing she could probably get Zip to keep Pvt. Linseed Oil away from her, but they sure weren’t laughing. Regardless, while only four ponies in the platoon apparently knew of his perversion, he’d done well with 3rd Squad. He had an unexpectedly sharp sense of humor, which his squad enjoyed, and had made fast friends with Pvt. Blood Sapphire, their madness feeding off the other. Pvt. Blood Sapphire had additionally proven interesting; his mind seemed a bottomless pit of strange, amusing, and applicable commentary on life. Neither of them had a chance in Hell of landing a mare at the enlisted ball (maybe even with offers of drink or money), but the two had already proved popular in the enlisted gatherings. The enlisted ball could be interesting. Considering the sinking feeling he’d experienced in his gut when he first saw the “replacements” roster, things had gone well. Productivity was good, everypony was getting along reasonably well, and they’d dodged the split-shift every week. The next week was the beginning of the autumn season, and they would be back up to full volume until Equestria’s harvest petered out. It was still a lot cheaper, in most cases, to move goods from the southern continent by ship than by land; the railroad infrastructure needed to be further built up to accommodate the volume. Fall and winter in the area, of course, were wet, cold, and miserable. But once winter approached, they’d be working a lot less. Winter, although bitter and remarkably snowy, was always welcome in Vanhoover. Working four short days a week in winter, there was time for eating, drinking, troublesome relations with the local fillies, and more drinking. Hell, they could even take extended leave if they had the time built up. Parting ways, Zip and Jacinta went for evening chow and then to prepare for the ball. Zip looked at himself in the mirror of his quarters. The blue dress uniform fit like a glove, whatever a “glove” was… The necktie had been something of a hassle, but he’d managed. Placing the hat on his head, he checked its fit; that fit too. He looked pretty good, he thought. It had been troublesome getting the tailoring done on time, his being a Pegasus, but a shop in town catered to Pegasi, and Zip received special permission to have his work done there. Locking his door, he noted the time was 18:30. He’d be able to take his sweet time heading to the officers’ club; for this special occasion, his ban had been lifted. Walking past the company’s mares’ barracks, three of his four enlisted mares were leaving. Trip wasn’t among them, but Pvt. Orange Blossom, previously the only mare in his platoon without a leadership position, led Spc. Silver Duster and Pvt. Caramel Crunch. All three wore youthful gowns, and Zip had never seen Spc. Silver Duster look so put together. She’d even managed to straighten her mane and tail. It was nice. Seeing their lieutenant, the girls smiled, Pvt. Caramel Crunch even giving him a curtsy. Private Orange Blossom knew they weren’t on duty but had to observe some formalities; these stopped at addressing him properly, “Good evening, sir… Wow! That civilian tailor did a nice job with the alterations. Could you… could you give us a flap, Lieutenant?!” Zip was bemused at the harmless request; Spc. Silver Duster and Pvt. Caramel Crunch looked at Pvt. Orange Blossom like she had snakes coming out of her ass. But Zip chuckled and gave them a wingspread. “I tried doing this at the shop… I could even fly this way, if I wanted. It was a relief to have it finished on time. I almost received permission to wear my air force dress, but the tailor managed. I have it in my closet, after all… You’re all looking lovely. Spc. Wire somewhere behind you?” Specialist Silver Duster, from whom Zip had maybe heard a few lines of speech, grinned shyly behind her spectacles, “She left almost an hour ago, sir. She’s helping finish the decorating, I guess. They had a few things to do.” Of all the ponies to drink before the event, Zip hadn’t suspected Spc. Silver Duster to be one of them. He could smell it on her. The other two, he wasn’t sure of, but Spc. Silver Duster was already buzzing. It didn’t bother him much. They were off-duty, and the enlisted ball was more of a social than a formal event. He knew plenty of officers and noncoms, having pre-gamed heavily, would already be tottering before the officers’ ball actually started. Zip nodded, beaming at the girls, “Well, I’d best get moving… so should all of you. I hope you all have a nice evening. Don’t do anything too crazy. We have to be ready to work Monday. And I don’t want anypony to wake up in holding.” Laughing, Pvt. Caramel Crunch pulled the other mares close, “Don’t worry about us, sir. We’ll be fine. I hear there’s gonna be a photographer there. I’ll grab Trip, and we can get a photograph with all four of us. That’d be something worth putting on the wall!” Private Orange Blossom said excitedly, her face smooshed, “That would be so neat! I’ve only had my picture taken in school.” A huge grin on his face, Zip bade them good night, “Have a good evening, ladies.” Shaking loose of Pvt. Caramel Crunch’s embrace, Pvt. Blossom began to shepherd the others away, “Thank you, sir. Good night.” Watching his enlisted mares mosey down the road, Zip turned back to his own path. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, especially in front of her brother… or any other pony for that matter, but he had really wanted to see Trip in a ballgown. He’d have to settle on the other mares in the platoon... Jacinta, Amethyst, and his corporals. And that was no booby prize. Though… if the young ones could get a photograph together… that would be nice. He loved a mare in uniform, but a ballgown was a whole other thing. Mares had military dress uniforms for other functions, but it was Equestrian Army tradition that military mares wore ballgowns to military balls. Somepony within the battalion had recently complained (Zip had a creeping suspicion who it might have been) that it was sexist, but the grievance wasn’t loud enough to reach the right ears. Plus, nopony important gave a crap about the alleged Jacinta’s alleged criticism, so the ballgowns remained. Thinking about nothing in particular, Zip made his way. While they were pretty and Zip appreciated their charms, his enlisted mares were small potatoes against the mature beauty of his noncom mares. Able to keep from gawking at the young ones, he knew he’d have a harder time keeping up appearances, especially when Jacinta and Amethyst showed up. Arriving at the officers’ club 10 minutes before the ball was to begin, Zip decided to seek out his seat. He’d wound up at a singles’ table… all stallions. Among them were Lt. Treehorn and Sgt. Sweet Clover, so he’d know them at least. Not seeing any of his noncom mares, he went to scope them out so he could check them out… or rather greet them like a gentlecolt and see they get to their seats. As a young officer, that was one of his duties if he had mares in his platoon. They had planned, according to Amethyst, to arrive exactly at 19:00. As she explained, the bar didn’t open until then. And the food wouldn’t be out until 19:30. Amethyst didn’t disappoint: she wore a crimson gown more than worthy of an Equestrian belle. Zip tried to pick his jaw up before she saw, but see it she did. She giggled at her lieutenant, busily moving past him to the bar. She intended to get herself set up before sitting down. It was apparent she was more than comfortable with all this. Stallions moved to get out of her way, staring at her with awe in their eyes, and Zip could tell she wasn’t unhappy about it. Corporals Lily Hawk and Little Song dressed in much simpler gowns, but they were nonetheless a beacon upon entering the club. Their relative youth shined, and the two slunk off somewhere to avoid the harassment they knew to be coming. Eyeing the less than stellar spread being set up, they wished they could be with the enlisted ponies… At least the food was abundant. Zip was finding it hard to seat them when they had elected to immediately scatter on him. Zip craned his neck; one more was coming. And other than Trip, whom he’d not have the chance to see unless circumstanced permitted, she was the one he wanted to see the most. But where was Jacinta? The noncom mares had agreed to come together. He looked and looked and holy shit! There she was, walking towards him! Zip felt his fire burn out. Jacinta was wearing something a teenager would wear. He’d thought the enlisted mares looked like kids… She… looked… really good, but he’d had visions of her as a goddess... with a diadem of flowers and- He felt a deft clout to his shoulder. Coming out of his brief, pansy-assed fantasy, his shoulder immediately hurting, he saw the unamused face and blazing eyes of his staff sergeant. She'd slugged him, he realized. “Lieutenant… control yourself. This is an official function,” she coldly stated. She’d noticed him gawking at the mares under his command… including her. It’s not like it was difficult. He saw the very slightest color in her cheeks. “Right, Jacinta… Sorry.” She sighed, eventually allowing herself a pleasant little smile, “Oh, it’s fine, sir. You get Amethyst, and I’ll get our corporals. Once you seat us, you don’t have to do anything else for us. Let’s get the formalities out of the way.” Jacinta had an easy time with her task, while Amethyst kept talking up the bartender, creating difficulty in Zip pulling her away. But once Amethyst had her pitcher of three-alarm Bloody Mare, she grew tired of her game, and he was able to coax her away. He hadn’t been close enough to tell, but she’d done a little pre-partying herself; she was well on her way to getting sloshed. All four mares were assigned to different tables but were in close proximity; it only took a moment to seat them. Protocol required he pull out the chair for them and everything. Amethyst gave him a little mischief here, correcting him until his conduct was perfect, much to the amusement of some noncom mares he didn’t know; it was her way of having fun at his expense. With that done, he made his way back to his table. Sergeant Sweet Clover was at the bar when Zip went to sit down. Lt. Treehorn had shown up, sad to be dateless and already hammered. Zip seethed inwardly; he’d spent more time than was tolerable around Lt. Treehorn when he had liquor in him. His mood, usually weak to begin with, could get downright lame. And they were seated next to each other. The fool was talking as if nopony could hear him, but they could, “Sgt. Flare sure looks good tonight… and SSgt. Petals… she’s dressed like a kid. With all the fillies here, I must have a shot with one of them…” Zip let his attention slide as Lt. Treehorn continued to drone; the other officer was so shitfaced he was talking to the air. About to take his seat next to the hapless goofball, Zip was pleased to see a grinning Sgt. Sweet Clover switching seating assignments with him. “Don’t sweat it, Lieutenant. I got ya,” he chuckled, sipping on a lowball of whiskey. With a sigh of relief, Zip sat on the other side of the table. Nopony would care or even notice the switch. Sgt. Sweet Clover was actually amused with Lt. Treehorn’s nonsense, so he egged him along, getting him so worked up they had to calm him down for his shouting. Zip shook his head at the stupidity of his fellow lieutenant. As the rest of the table sat, Zip realized they were much in the same boat as Treehorn: just a bunch of young, drunk guys unhappy with their lot in life. Sgt. Sweet Clover had a wife. She just had no interest in coming, and they had a few foals at home. Zip’s sergeant wouldn’t be hanging around long… Once the “important” stuff requiring attendance was over, he’d head home. Zip decided he’d probably take off at some point himself… the earlier, the better. He could tell the night would descend into trouble with how drunk everypony already was. Zip reasoned these events must be pretty lame to merit such preparation. And it was nothing too exciting. They were served a meal far too small with burnt cake for dessert; Zip was glad to not have skipped normal chow. Cpt. Basket Weaver gave a speech Zip barely listened to, and they suffered through a comedian that was about as funny as watching a foal die of cancer. Zip was actually nodding off by the time the social hour arrived. It was time to mosey around and mingle. As an officer, especially a young officer new to the battalion, Zip was expected to participate, so he got himself a glass of pineapple squash and waded around the club. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Sgt. Treasure Trove and Cpl. Little Song of his 4th Squad making a beeline for the back door. Running over, he flagged them down, “Whoa, whoa! Where are you going?” Corporal Song smiled big, her cheeks rosy from imbibing, “We’re outta here, Lieutenant! Once the actual ass-kiss stuff is over, noncoms can F.O. We’re crashing the enlisted ball! But-you’re-stuck-here!” Zip wasn’t too happy about this, especially her teasing him, “That’s right! I’m stuck here and-! Wait… I haven’t seen the others.” Sergeant Treasure Trove hoofed the back of his neck, “Yeah… everypony but Sgt. Flare snuck out already… and I haven’t seen SSgt. Petals…” Zip couldn’t hold it against his noncoms if they wanted to have a better time; he himself would prefer being with his platoon, “Well, you two stay safe. I don’t want to have to bail anypony out of holding in the morning.” Seeing Zip lighten up and all but give his blessing to their fucking off to better times, Sgt. Treasure Trove and Cpl. Little Song disappeared out the door. Zip knew Amethyst wouldn’t leave the officers’ ball. A “belle” like her was totally at home at an event like this… He’d seen her tease drinks and favors off many a stallion and then just leave them with their dicks in their hooves. It was rather amusing when she laid on the charm. She’d stay until she’d had her fun and probably retire to her office for a restful sleep away from the other mares in the company. And Jacinta… He could see her leaving at some point, but she’d probably not go to the enlisted party. She stuck to the rules in more formal cases... even if she’d entertain the platoon hanging out casually. She’d be around until her attention to decorum allowed her to leave. Zip felt like a teenager, afraid of being away from anypony he knew, but when most of the crowd was already three winds to the sheet, he’d prefer being around his drunk friends than drunk strangers. He could see Amethyst at the bar; she was looking pretty lathered up, a plethora of civilian stallions hitting on her… Even stallions could get into the ball. Zip figured they were there for easy fillies and to rub shoulders with those running the city. Zip hadn’t bothered to think about it, but the city leaders and the wealthy were there; they had interests, and the ball was a good place to cultivate them… even if half the room was on the way to blackout territory. Ah-ha! Zip spotted Jacinta. She was by herself against a wall, sipping on a cocktail. He’d just about made it within hailing distance, when he felt a tug at his hindquarters… of the magical kind. Immediately, he felt dread, viscerally reminded of his misadventures with Lt. Hoop, but turning around, he saw the three ripest-looking fillies he’d ever seen since… well, ever. Superficially appearing 18 or 19-years-old, they’d been fortunate to get in. It was hard to tell around those years, especially when they were taking steps to look young... They had on some pretty great ballgowns. Quickly noting their qualities, only one was sober. They were well fed, just about flawless in appearance, and sparkling clean, other than the indelible oil under their hooves. They were probably factory mares, Zip figured… The lead filly, the unicorn that had pulled him over, batted her eyes at him, “You must be Lt. Zip Jetscream…” Of course he was… Shee-yit, were these fillies ripe! Zip’s jaw moved on its own, nothing coming out. The unicorn tottered in place, “It’s good to meet you. I’m Blueberry Patch. I never had a chance at the club to talk to you… You never stuck around before your ban.” Ban? Zip wondered... Oh, yeah! He'd been banned for offing another officer! What a thing for some hussy to bring up! One of the other mares, an Earth pony, tried to butt in. Zip noted she was… a little more developed than Blueberry. Blueberry’s eyes panned over her friend’s body, and Zip saw jealousy in the mare’s eyes. “I’m Wildberry Pie… Wanna bite, Lieutenant?” the curvaceous Earth pony giggled drunkenly as the third mare reeled her in. This one looked a little more sensible to Zip; she was the sober one of the bunch, “I’m sorry about my friends, sir… They’ve already had a little too much fun." The young mares glowered at her, but they didn't retaliate. The newest mare shooed them away, "Why don’t you two go over to the bar? I’ll catch up with you later.” Her friends eyed her in greater distaste but slunk off. It was immediately clear to Zip: she was the leader of the bunch. She turned to Zip with an agreeable look on her face. “I’m Apricot Crumble. I see you’re about the only sober pony here. Want to chat a bit? I’m in no mood to foalsit my friends at the moment.” She fluffed her wings—Zip hadn’t realized she was a Pegasus! And she was built; she had the body of a laborer, on top of being ravishing, and the poise of a model. He didn’t wish for it to be so, but just these facts had him wanting to learn more. Apricot eyed his beverage. “I see you like Acer’s pineapple squash… I’m rather partial to it myself. Why don’t we get a couple fresh ones and… talk?” Her manner was so inviting he forgot most of his reservations. He was supposed to be sociable, and talking with a sober mare who obviously knew how to work beat the Hell out of being miserable. Thinking of Jacinta for the first time in a moment, he saw she was gone. Fleetingly hoping she wasn’t upset about watching some fillies flirt with him, he figured he’d see her later. “Sure, Miss Crumble. That sounds nice,” Zip was glad to join her. Giggling at him and pulling him towards the bar, “I should be the one calling you formally, Lieutenant. Just call me Apricot!” He was happy to oblige, “Sure, Apricot.” After finishing up at the bar, the two sat down in a quiet corner. “I have to say, Lieutenant… I was tickled pink to hear a Pegasus officer was coming to Vanhoover… Not that I expected to ever meet you. It’s a real treat for me. Other than my family, I think I can count the Pegasi I know on two hooves,” Apricot sipped her squash. Zip was delighted by this young mare, “Yes, there aren’t many of us around here… Tell me… do you remember the first time you had pineapple squash?” She snorted a little into her drink, “What kind of question is that, sir? Kind of out of the blue...” He didn’t mind her chortling at his inquiry, “I’m serious… I’ve been drinking it as long as I remember… We didn’t have a whole lot growing up. We lived in Canterlot, and my parents worked in the market… We weren’t farmers or anything; they just worked for a merchant. He wasn’t exactly a generous pony. But we got enough to eat, and he always cut loose produce to us when it got close to overripe. “The stuff was sometimes too ripe to eat, even right away, so Mom would boil it down to syrup and make fresh squash all the time. You can make squash out of anything, but pineapple’s always been my favorite. It’s special to me.” Apricot looked into her own glass, “I’m sorry for laughing… it just wasn’t what I expected to hear… I like the stuff, but I sure don’t have a nice story like that to share. I grew up on a little farm southeast of the city. Well, it’s more of an orchard. My parents named me Apricot, and that’s what we grow. We had cherries, but they died off one year when we had a flood. I… still live there. It beats working in the city. Still, I never expected to still be stuck at home when I was 22... But it's cleaner... makes financial sense... Shoot, I might never leave; somepony has to keep the place running.” Zip, recognizing she wasn't just some filly fresh outta high school (or younger), was enjoying talking with her more and more, “I’ve never even been on a farm. About all I did when I wasn’t going to school was watch over my little sisters… Sometimes our parents would send us on fruit deliveries. The merchant did appreciate that… He didn’t have to pay anything extra. He was happy to have a couple little Pegasi around to fly his wares.” Apricot giggled, “Keeping an orchard is the same way. The only thing better than a set of wings for dealing with trees would be a horn… but I’d rather fly than have unicorn magic. What about you?” Zip wasn’t sure; he’d never thought much about being anything other than what he was, “I’d have never wound up in the air force, I bet, if I’d been born anything else… Maybe I could’ve just stayed in Canterlot… Life sure would’ve been different… But no. I’m happy the way I am.” It wasn't much of an answer, but Apricot giggled and took it. “Fair enough,” the mare mused. “I’m glad I ran into you, Lieutenant. It’s nice to just talk with somepony that doesn’t need to drink all the time. I love my dad, but he’d drink away the family farm if Mom let him.” “My parents were always teetotalers. It’s just what they did… When I was old enough to really try the stuff for myself, I just wasn’t interested.” She chuckled, “I know what you mean.” Suddenly, a band that had taken the stage when he wasn’t paying attention jostled Zip from his conversation, jumping into an upbeat tune. Apricot smiled, sliding her drink aside, “Wanna dance, Lieutenant?” Zip was no fan of dancing, though he knew how. But his new acquaintance was so much fun, he’d indulge her… in a while. “I’d love to in a bit, but we did an awful lot of running around today. I’d like to just sit for a little while and enjoy the music.” “I understand… I was flying around all day picking my namesake. Maybe in a couple songs, then.” Zip closed his eyes and leaned back. He was having a great time; he’d never felt this comfortable talking to a mare he’d just met. She wasn’t pressuring him or trying to ride his coat tails or- Zip! Looking down, Apricot’s face was right between his back legs; she’d worked down his uniform's fly with her teeth. He propelled himself, sliding away from her on the bench they were sharing. “What are you doing?” he cried. She looked flummoxed, “I was… going to—oh, shit!” Apricot ducked out of sight. Zip looked around wildly. He saw a large, dirty Earth pony lumbering around; everypony was giving him a wide berth. He looked pissed. And Zip had a nasty feeling Apricot knew him. The lumbering stallion briefly searched around, and Zip saw the military police accost him. Zip was sure there’d be a scrap, but the stallion left without a struggle. Soon, Apricot’s voice came from under the table, “Is he gone?” Zip didn’t like this, “Yes…” “Good,” Apricot came from under the table and rejoined him. Zip looked at her nervously, “Who was that?” Apricot clopped her hooves on the table; looking a little embarrassed, she could barely suppress a grin, “That was my fiancé…” Zip saw his vision invert; he felt sick, “Your fiancé?!” “Yup.” “And you were gonna… you know… uh… cheat on him?” She gave an all-in laugh, hoofing the back of her neck, “Well, I was… and… I am anyway… So, yeah! I would... cheat on him.” Without another word and his fly still down, Zip bolted and made his way out the back door. MARES ARE TERRIFYING! Zip hadn’t moved that fast in a long time; he leaned against the brick of the building, panting. Noting his fly was still down, he set about to pulling it up. He’d leave and go somewhere else… Things were getting too out of hoof for him. Wrestling with his fly, he heard a hearty female chuckle. “I was wondering when you’d show up, Lieutenant.” Zip’s fly raked up, just about catching his delicates, as he jerked in surprise. “OUCH!” Zip fell on his back; looking up, he saw Jacinta smiling down at him, her face upside down from his perspective. She had a fresh cocktail in hoof, primly taking a sip as she simpered at his floundering. Zip regained his hooves, “What are you doing out here, Jacinta?” Over her drink, she bubbled, “I’m just getting some air…” Zip saw the shit-eating grin she was trying to hide behind her glass, “What is it?” Jacinta couldn’t hold it in anymore; she burst out giggling, “You got messed around by the ‘farmer fillies’…” “What?” “Those three young mares… they’re farm girls from out of town. Amethyst said they're notorious for going after officers. She saw them go after you from the bar and ran over to get me from where you saw me.” Zip realized his noncoms had had a little fun at his expense, but he listened. Jacinta snorted, “She bet me a cocktail they’d have you running for one of the exits in less than three minutes! We were watching you from the bar!” It explained her fresh drink. Zip watched her dissolve in a fit of laughter; the alcohol was getting to her a little. “I took the bet. Once you screwed her out of a drink, she slunk off somewhere... She's around, I'm sure. I came out for some fresh air… then you came tumbling out with your fly down… and here we are.” Zip didn’t enjoy blushing in front of his staff sergeant, but there it was. Grumbling, he sat down and stared at the gravel in the alley. Jacinta shook her head, “Oh, don’t give it a second thought, sir. I know what the Port mares can be like… And I’m sorry you’re embarrassed. But it’s no big deal. Amethyst was just having a little fun; you know she’s fond of you. And, well… I had a good laugh myself.” Zip decided to relax; getting upset with Jacinta over such a dumb thing wasn’t worth it. Since he was outside and she was too, perhaps he could have a nice chat with her. “You missed a really fun trot today. We sang some songs and had a few laughs of our own.” She eyed him coyly, “Not if I’d been there, you wouldn’t have. Amethyst already told me. She was bursting with childlike glee to tell me you all sang the ‘thermite’ song… and the ‘rape, kill’ song… and oh, yes… the only one that has an actual name—‘My Girl’s a Vegetable’. She was proud to say she led that one herself. If the wrong ponies heard you singing that one, you could say goodbye to not working the split-shift.” He almost laughed at that, “What ‘wrong ponies’? And that shift business is done, anyway. We’re at full capacity, starting Monday.” “Oh, right… All the same, Lieutenant, Cpt. Weaver isn’t the colonel and he sure isn’t Cpt. Rig. He’s running a tighter ship. Keep on his good side. And we’re having a cleaner trot next time. The rich folks gripe enough without us giving them another excuse to report our behavior.” Zip lounged against the wall, grinning, “You’re being a real SSgt. Sourpuss, Jacinta. Would it kill you to let us sing a few silly songs?” She glowered at him, “You know well enough most of the cadences you all want to sing have been outlawed. I… think it’s funny... most of the time… but we have to at least pretend to maintain those rules, which you know.” Zip chuckled, “Jacinta, you’re such a stick-in-the-mud sometimes, I’m afraid we’ll never pull you out of the muck. And you’ve never even led us in a tune.” Jacinta was getting a little flustered, “What? C’mon… I know plenty of those stupid trotting songs… dozens, even. I went through basic training… It’s just that they’re not… legal.” Zip snorted, crossing his hooves, “Yeah, right, Jacinta.” With what little liquor he’d seen her have, she got worked up, “No, really, Lieutenant! I know some! Do you really think I enjoy having to yell at all of you when it’s just as much fun for me?” “Prove it.” Casting Zip a nasty look, Jacinta began. ---------- I'm a necrophiliac Put a dead one in the sack Skin like paste and hair like straw Gonna bring her home to Ma ---------- Zip’s jaw fell to the ground at that. Jacinta finally let her front dissolve and cackled at him until her voice cracked. Coughing, having mostly regained control, she choked out, “And listen to this one. It’s a little long…” ---------- He can take a private Drag him out of bed Grab him by the collar And choke him ‘til he's dead The S&M colt Oh, the S&M colt The S&M colt is misunderstood But he mixes fun with pain and makes the hurt feel good He can take his marefriend Shove icepicks in her ears Ride her like a bicycle Hell, she even steers The S&M colt Oh, the S&M colt The S&M colt is misunderstood But he mixes fun with pain and makes the hurt feel good He can take a kitty Pet it, make it purr Pull out a book of matches And burn off all its fur The S&M colt Oh, the S&M colt The S&M colt is misunderstood But he mixes fun with pain and makes the hurt feel good ---------- Zip almost needed help pulling his jaw off the ground. Jacinta didn’t dissolve this time, but she kneaded his shoulder a little, sitting next to him in the gravel. “Don’t say I can’t have fun. Bet you’ve never heard those. I doubt like Hell most ponies around here have… Those were near and dear to my old supply unit. 'S&M Colt’ has about 30 verses. Those are just some of the better ones.” Smiling at the memory, she said, “I remember my old platoon would get hammered and then start singing those at the pubs… Once they sang ‘S&M Colt’ at the captain’s wedding reception… That was pretty fucked up… The bride’s mother ran out!” Zip found himself chortling at that. It would be almost as bad as singing it at a funeral… Then again, those songs were special. It sometimes alarmed anypony nonmilitary, but it seemed right to do. A song... It was theirs. They loved it, and it was theirs. They sweated and bonded over it together. It struck him. Before he was sent off to be "rehabilitated", before his old outfit was split up, what was left of them, they had a big ceremony for the fallen. And what did they do? They sang those same tunes as they laid their comrades to rest. Lately, Zip somehow felt... more at peace with what had happened. He'd not thought much about his last days in the Dragon Lands, and he was blessed to say he hadn't had any nightmares in more than two weeks. Harking back to the day for his fallen, his eyes misted up, but it was brief, and Jacinta didn’t even catch it. She just kept reminiscing, “Yup, we sure had some good times out there. Oh, what strange circumstances brought me to a place like this… Really, all of us… What a time it’s been. Just four months ago, I was worried about ponies trying to steal stuff from my inventory and selling it for beer money! And you… things sure are different for you…” Zip looked down to his decoration, which was rarely worn. Yes… strange indeed. He felt sadness begin to crawl up his throat. Her mind a little cloudy and moving more freely than normal, she jumped topics, “You know, Lieutenant… you strike me as a big brother. I’m guessing you have… two little brothers and one little sister… Am I close?” Zip, bemused (but relieved) at her changing the subject, only shook his head, “I have three little sisters. I was the only colt.” She looked genuinely surprised, “Only sisters?! No way.” “It’s true... One, three, and four years younger than me. Cherry Blossom, Sweet Melody, and Peony Flourish.” Jacinta had something snappy (and very profane and out-of-character) to say, but her inhibitions wouldn’t yet allow it, “Well, I’m a big sister. Six… I have six younger siblings… two colts and four fillies… Well, the twins are your age.” Zip could picture Jacinta lording over all those little ones; it may have been why she was so good at bossing ponies around. He laughed at the thought: a frazzled, teenage Jacinta chasing around a bunch of little foals. It felt good to laugh. “What’s so funny?” it was an odd question, red and gassy as she was from her own laughter. He admitted, “I was just picturing you as a kid… screaming at all of them, as they all but swung from the rafters.” Glowering at him, she stated, “No… we had our fun, but Mom was a Helluva disciplinarian. Dad’s a merchant sailor out east, so she kept a pretty close watch on us. But… yeah. I did plenty of yelling. Mom could only do so much; she needed my help all the time. I swore I wouldn’t end up like my mom, but when I look in the mirror or hear the things coming out of my own mouth, that’s all I am. I’ve become my mother…” Zip tried to hide a smirk as she grumbled and sucked down the rest of her drink. This was nice, just chatting… Before he could respond, she sighed heavily. Staring off into nowhere in particular, Jacinta then gave him a cautious little smirk, “It’s hard for me to imagine being a mother, Lieutenant… The idea of getting married aside, it’s only a short while ago I was just some little filly myself… all legs, too. But if I ever have a daughter… if I ever have a filly… I hope to name her Rhododendron… Rho for short…” Zip tried not to gawp; she giggled warmly at him, though she quickly took a more somber mien, “I can see why Amethyst called her little one Rho… the full name is such a mouthful. I know she told you, sir… It’s such a sad thing, losing a baby.” The two sat in the chill, the noise of the ball dull in the background. Zip allowed the feeling to wash over him, noting it was now dark out; he’d barely even thought of the hour. “But… Amethyst is Mother to us all in a way,” Jacinta figured. “There’s nopony I look up to more than her… nopony I’d rather be more like…” Zip only breathed, taking in Jacinta’s words. Suddenly, Jacinta popped up, “I’d best be a good girl and return the glass to the bar. It was a freebie, after all.” Zip was still just a little sore over the fun they had at his expense, blushing again. She just waggled the glass at him, its ice tinkling. She gave him a reserved bat of the eyes, “You coming?” He sprang up, “Uh… yeah.” Back inside, the dance was in full swing, and the whole place stunk of alcohol and sweat. Following Jacinta to the bar, she left her glass. In a couple seconds, she was hurrying towards the front door. Zip stammered, “You’re leaving already?” Looking back to him, she pointed matter-of-factly out of his view, “I wasn’t… until I saw that.” Zip turned; Lt. Treehorn had thrown up on Captain Jalapeño Jelly’s wife. The captain stood, flabbergasted, as his wife shrieked. As Lt. Treehorn weaved around, he slipped in the puddle of his own making and fell forward, knocking out his own front teeth. Zip grabbed Jacinta’s hoof, “Yeah! Let’s bolt.” He pulled the guffawing mare outside with him. About a block away from the officers’ club, Zip and Jacinta were still laughing uproariously. They felt a little bad for Lt. Treehorn, but Zip had less and less sympathy for the guy. Jacinta just didn’t like him… He was a tool: he’d hit on her a few times and had even gotten fresh in blackout territory. Usually nervous around mares, he’d do anything once he’d had enough num-nums. Since probably nopony had ever been put to the end of a rope for barfing on some officer's wife, Zip hoped the fool would just be allowed to sleep it off. He’d be punished, sure, but mildly. And he’d never live it down. In 20 years he’d be remembered as the young lieutenant that puked on a captain’s wife. Zip pictured Lt. Treehorn (though he'd never probably reach such a rank) as a colonel, walking around during a full brigade-level inspection, maybe with a corncob pipe clamped between his teeth, and his decorations jingling. Some grizzled noncom would tell his new privates, in great reverence, There he goes... a god among stallions... Dude once puked all over a captain's wife's tits. And all they could give him was KP duty. They’d made their way about halfway to the enlisted ball. Zip couldn’t go in, and Jacinta wouldn’t go in, but scuttlebutt was a hoofful of their platoon was heading downtown. Jacinta had to stop a moment to catch her breath, she was still guffawing so. Happening to be in the park, Jacinta sauntered over to a little hill and sat down. Zip joined her… and tried to ignore the fact she was sitting in a most unladylike position. She was getting more and more careless. Zip didn’t think she’d had all that much to drink… “Check it out, Lieutenant. Almost a full moon,” Jacinta pointed up into the clear night sky, at first unaware of Zip’s wandering eyes. Zip’s eyes weren’t behaving themselves in the least; they kept scanning Jacinta’s form as she lounged on the knoll of grass. Their uniforms were all form-fitting and completely flattered Jacinta, but there was something about seeing her in an evening gown that had Zip’s juices pumping. Her pale, green coat showed in places he’d never seen, and the gown covered things he’d taken for granted, and… hey, it was pretty good. Zip, being the rather hopeless stallion he sometimes was, wasn’t being very discreet. Jacinta laughed at him heartily. “A bit for your thoughts, Lieutenant?” she crooned. He looked away, unable to explain himself. She just laughed at him, Zip reddening. Then she was quiet for a moment. Turning back timidly, he saw Jacinta was taking pulls off a bottle of gin. “Jacinta!” Zip exclaimed. “It’s no wonder you’re getting so lit! You didn’t have more than a few at the ball… Wait... Where were you hiding that?!” Jacinta smirked at him, lifting the rear of her gown. Zip scrambled to get away and not see, but she laughed at him. “It’s okay, Lieutenant, look.” He chanced a look. They were ponies after all; they didn’t where clothes all the time. Zip saw Jacinta’s trick: she’d been keeping the bottle in a garter tied to her left back leg. Clever… Stowing the bottle, she dropped her gown, “Works just as well as it did when I was a filly. We don’t have the benefit of the ‘free’ beer kegs the ‘kids’ have, sir. I’m not dropping a week’s pay for some half-assed cocktails at the officers’ club… especially when they jack up prices for the ball… Just a couple for appearances. Then I hooked a few things from the kitchen and made myself the best gin-fizz I’ve ever had.” Zip was wowed by her playful and cheerful mood, “Well, maybe take it a little easy on that stuff. You don’t want to crawl home.” “And I won’t wind up that way,” she spouted as she hopped up. “If we hurry up, we can catch our folk as they’re leaving the ball.” It was only a couple blocks, and they were there in moments. The warehouse hosting the enlisted ball was booming. The band could be heard from the outside, barely, over the cheering and screaming ponies. Jacinta smiled, “Oh, yeah… they’re having fun.” Zip noted an empty keg thrown out of a window, where it splintered into the road, “Mm-hmm.” It was obvious why battalion called in a few extra military police units for these big events. Just a moment after making it there, Zip and Jacinta found a hoofful making their way outside. Pvt. Mercury Rise was among them. He had several local fillies hanging off him like monkeys on a tree; he looked totally at ease. He was liquored up, but he radiated every bit the normal competence he was known for, “Ah, good evening, Lieutenant… Sergeant. How are you tonight?” Zip was impressed by his “super-soldier”, “We’re good, Private. Been having a good time?” “Ohhhh, the best!” Pvt. Mercury Rise stood on his back legs, picking up the four fillies in his front legs; he happily jostled them, all of them squealing in delight. This impressed Zip even more; that was some strength. “Well, if you’ll excuse us, sir… there’s a music show down the road… C’mon, girls!” Leading the four townies, he began to stroll down the street. Quite a few young mares had come out to watch the private leave. Spc. Silver Duster, Pvt. Orange Blossom, and Pvt. Caramel Crunch, whom Zip had just noticed, stared after him lustfully, practically drooling. The girls were profoundly drunk, falling all over themselves. Private Caramel Crunch, the first to come out of her boy-crazy stupor, crowed, “Hey, it’s the lieutenant and Sarge! How the fuck’s it going?!” Yup… all three were pretty lathered as they greeted their platoon leaders. Jacinta wasn’t pleased with the private’s crass salutation, but Zip let it go. “You’ve all been good? Nopony’s gone to jail?” Zip joked, the three mares lined up before him. Private Orange Blossom, holding it together better than most could, shook her head, “None of us has gotten into any trouble, sir, but-” The doors burst open. A scowling Cpl. Razor Wire came out with somepony draped over his back. Corporal Lily Hawk, not far from smashed, was trailing worriedly, “I’m sorry, Razor… the girls from 2nd Platoon got her to join their drinking contest.” There was Trip, Zip’s second fantasy mare of the night, snoring with a huge grin on her face, flopped on her brother’s back. She was pretty cute in her pink gown, other than looking like she’d been rolling in straw and horseshit… which was probably the case with the floor in the warehouse. “Girls!” Cpl. Razor Wire was more annoyed than anything as he called to the three other enlisted mares. “You’re going back to barracks. You’ve had enough fun for one night.” The mares filed past, grumbling. Pvt. Orange Blossom stopped a moment. “Don’t worry, sir,” she said to Zip. “The four of us got a photograph taken earlier. Silver even took off her glasses!” Zip felt his heart jump. The little mare was onto him, and she knew it, snickering into her sleeve. “Private Blossom… come on!” Cpl. Razor Wire called. “Coming! Well, goodnight, sir. SSgt. Petals,” she hurried off after. Corporal Lily Hawk sighed, facing the platoon leaders, “Oh, those young mares… Hopefully they take it a little easier next time… Anything interesting happen at the officers’ club after we left?” Jacinta could barely contain herself, “Well, nothing much… Lt. Treehorn booted on Cpt. Jelly’s wife, is all…” Corporal Lily Hawk was a nurse before joining the army; bodily functions merely annoyed her. “Oh, that sounds just magical,” she waxed sarcastically. “Nothing else?” Jacinta grinned, “I won a bet with Amethyst!” Corporal Lily Hawk did a take, “You won a bet with ol’ Flare?! No way! In what?!” Zip could tell Jacinta was bursting to say; she wiggled excitedly, giggling foolishly, and said, “That’s. A. Secret!” She slid Zip a little wink. He tried to look cool. “Whatever,” the corporal mumbled, not really all that blown away by a silly Jacinta (it was the night of a ball, after all); she turned to Zip. “Sorry to say, Lieutenant, but everypony’s having such a good time... they’ve passed on going anywhere else… and I haven’t seen Sgt. Flare tonight… Well, I’ve gotta go help Razor.” She took off after the five. Zip figured his enlisted mares were in good hooves. He was a little disappointed, though. He’d had a good time the hoofful of times he’d hung out casually with his platoon. But they were having fun, and he was glad for it. He also realized he’d lose Jacinta… She’d said she had no interest in going into the enlisted ball, but- “Want to walk around a little more, sir? I think we could start to make our way back… maybe find a snack.” This was a bit unforeseen; Jacinta wanting to hang out with Zip wasn’t at the top of things on his list of things he’d expect that night, “Uh, sure… Let’s go.” With the paltry late dinner and meager hors d'oeuvres at the officers' ball, they could both stand a little something to eat. Zip rather hoped they’d run into Amethyst at some point, but he hadn’t seen much of her since he sat her down at the ball. And he’d missed her when she and Jacinta were “gambling with his chastity”. Perhaps she’d just stayed at the club… There would be no end of stallions dying to buy her a drink. Plus, he hadn’t known until he’d heard it earlier in the day, but Amethyst loved dancing. There’d also be no shortage of stallions wanting to dance with the belle, and she was Queen Shit Belle of the ball material. Zip and Jacinta had stopped for fried potatoes at a little shop, and Jacinta got herself a vanilla milkshake. Making their way through the park again, it was empty. There wasn’t much between the port and the military barracks, once one passed the downtown area. Jacinta walked alongside him, sucking on her treat. She’d confounded him when she sucked down a couple inches of it and poured into it the remainder of her gin. Pleased with her pseudo-gin-fizz, she was making quick work of it. Soon, she tossed the empty containers in some box on the roadside. Zip was becoming uneasy; he was out alone with his direct subordinate, and she was drunk off her ass by then. It didn’t help matters that she suddenly became quieter; that was never a good sign in an inebriated pony. She stopped a moment, a light breeze blowing around her mane. “Sir…” she voiced. “Do you think I’m… a bore?” Zip did a horsey-snort; that was the kind of thing he’d been afraid of hearing out of her all night. He wouldn't say she was a bore... There were better words to describe what she may have been, but he could think of none at that moment. “I’ve tried to lighten up some, but… I don’t know how to keep things separate! I wanna have fun, I really do! But it’s hard when I’m supposed to be something. I know all the ponies talk about me behind my back…” This wasn’t entirely untrue, but there’d been a lot less rumblings regarding Jacinta since Zip had taken over… and that was already a month past. She rode them all pretty hard, but they’d really shaped up as a unit… and Zip gave Jacinta a lot of the credit. He’d inspired change, sure, but she’d kept order when he might not have been able to. And she’d been a pretty good sport about things, even when she was the object of somewhat good-natured ridicule. They were soldiers, after all; coarseness was part of what they were. But Zip was having problems coming up with a way to articulate this to his smashed friend. The fact she looked close to tears and took on a pouty-lip didn’t make the matter any simpler. She meandered to the edge of the road, and she put a hoof to a tree, leaning on it. But he tried to come up with something, “Jacinta… the platoon loves you. I hope you realize they only jerk you around because they think… you’re their friend. You care about them... and they know that well. I know I’m an officer, and you’re a staff sergeant, and we’re not really supposed to be friends, not with each other and not with our platoon, but that recruit stuff is far behind us. We are friends… and we’re all the very best of friends. You’re a good soldier… and a good friend. Don’t forget that.” She was looking down, fighting tears, “I don’t know if you’re just saying this… or-” Zip put his hoofs around her shoulders and pulled her so she was looking up at him, “Jacinta… I do mean it. I couldn’t ask for a better staff sergeant. I’m lucky to have you. I’m lucky to have all of you.” What happened next was new territory for Zip. Jacinta giggled buoyantly and leaned back away from him. He managed to grab onto her lower trunk as she dangled, one back hoof precariously holding ground. She waved her hooves, “Oh, wow, Lieutenant! The world’s all upside-down. It’s like I’m falling up!” Her other back leg was up by his face, and he had to avoid getting kneed, but he managed to hike her up again. It brought her face forcefully into his chest with a flump. She brayed laughter and nuzzled in, wrapping her hooves around him. This had Zip’s mind racing; he must’ve been breaking about 20 rules, this happening. “Oh, Lieutenant. You’re so kind. But I like seeing this, too... I wish everypony else could see this side of you.” They didn’t? Zip was baffled. He thought he’d always been rather good to his platoon... and what she'd said didn't make a whole lot of sense in the first place. This was getting strange. She smiled lopsidedly at him, “Your flirting style sucks… but you’re such a nice guy, sir…” Flirting? Zip’s train of thought ran in another direction, jumping track so fast there should’ve been a derailment. “It really wouldn’t hurt you to try a little more with the fillies and mares, Lieutenant… I really think you’d make some girl really happy! It gets old… the things some of the mares around here say about you." Against his better judgement, Zip took the unintended bait, “What do they say?” Jacinta tittered, as if she knew a nasty secret, and all but whispered, “They think you’re a cold fish… and that you wouldn’t know what to do with a filly... even if she threw herself at you…” Zip knew he was a cold fish... but he took no pleasure in the fact some, whatever that meant, of the mares he knew thought he was some limp-dick dud of a stallion... and probably a virgin, which he certainly knew he was. He'd barely made it to second-base! “Well,” she put an innocent hoof to her mouth, in thought. “Some stallions say that too…” At that, he forgot himself and accidentally dropped her on her rump. “Ow!” she cried out. Zip was floundering, “I’m sorry, Jacinta! I didn’t mean to let go!” Kneeling to help her up, she put a hoof on his. It stopped him dead in his tracks. Giving him a… teasing look, she eyed him strangely. It was clear she was up to something. She ran her tongue across her lip; dreamy-eyed, she asked with a smirk, “What’s wrong, sir?” He looked away in a mild panic; Jacinta had reached a new level of shitfaced in his eyes, “Uh… nothing.” She wobbled to her hooves, grinning at him, “They say you’re such a cold fish, Lieutenant, but I don’t think that. You’re a normal stallion… Just a little… inexperienced.” Zip began to back away; that was (probably) rich coming from her. She sauntered after him, “There’s nothing wrong with it, sir… I know I’m nopony to talk. I mean, I'm a... uh... Well, I’m just tired of ponies saying that about you.” Zip halted, not that he had much choice; his rump was to a tree, “What are you saying, Jacinta?” Jacinta eyed him with more confidence than she normally exhibited, her cheeks glowing in her alcohol flush, “Let’s see just how cold you really are…” She hoofed his neck, pulling him in, shut her eyes, and pressed her lips to his. Slipping him just the tiniest bit of tongue, she tasted like turpentine with all the cheap gin she’d been guzzling. Zip saw flashes of light in his mind, as if his bell had been rung. His staff sergeant kissed him! He looked back to her, mouth moving but no words coming out. Her eyes at half-mast, she kneaded his shoulder and began to chuckle. Barely able to contain herself at his loss of function, “Look at you...! Yup… seems pretty normal to me.” She beamed groggily at him before swooning. He just managed to catch her; she would have cracked her head, otherwise. Her head hung at an odd angle, so he righted her and held her close again. She murmured sleepily in his hooves. Totally limp, she was surprisingly heavy as dead-weight. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Zip lamented. This was less than ideal. Only a few things could make this worse. So, naturally, he heard the pitter-patter of hooves behind him. Whomever it was, this was bad, and he was in for it. But it was only a very sozzled Sgt. Flare, as stunning as ever, shaking with mirth, “Oh, Lieutenant… Such a thing to do to our little flower.” Zip was a stallion who’d done nothing wrong. He wasn’t about to get flustered or freak out over some mare planting a kiss on him. Sure, it surprised him, but he was mostly fine. He lacked ineptness in general, other than being clueless and inexperienced. Even as a teen he was mostly unflappable. He was that kind of cold fish. “How long have you been following us?” Zip demanded. Amethyst giggled, “Not long. I got bored at the club, so I came looking for Jacinta… It isn’t hard; she turns into a beacon of serenity, sometimes, when she ties a few on. I could sense her from a block away. Never thought I’d find you too.” He glowered at her tittering, “Oh, yes, it’s very funny, Amethyst. Want to help me out?” She did help, sitting down on the curb, Jacinta’s head in her lap; Amethyst displayed a strange, bittersweet expression as she stroked Jacinta's mane. “Oh, she really went at that gin, Lieutenant. Look at her! She’s so cute!” Amethyst gushed. Zip just sat down next to Amethyst, sighing. It seemed like the night was winding down for everypony. “She really trusts you, sir…” Amethyst considered. “There’s no other pony in this city she’d let her guard down like this for… I admit I’m… a little envious.” Zip could tell she was musing and decided to keep his mouth shut for a moment. “I’m just happy to see her relax a bit… I mean, the first time I met her I could almost see the stick up her ass when she opened her mouth wide enough,” she hooted. “And now, here she is… vulnerable… ripe for the picking… unaware of what her superior might be daring enough to try…!” If this had come out of anypony else’s mouth, Zip would’ve taken offense, but he allowed Amethyst her sick joke. It’s just the kind of mare she was. “You should’ve seen where she was keeping her gin bottle,” Zip shook his head, gesturing to the snoozing mare. Amethyst hiked up her gown, causing Zip to reel; she had a whiskey bottle in her garter, “Who do you think showed me this trick? I can’t believe I’ve been alive 38 years and never thought of it! She said it made her time back home more bearable…” That was still something Zip had a hard time wrapping his mind around: a skinny, teenaged Jacinta taking pulls off a bottle when nopony else was looking at some school dance, way back in 932, or something. That must have been a sight. Zip decided to move things another direction and was feeling a little bit mischievous, “Any good dancing there? Jacinta and I left after you lost your bet.” She snortedhuffed, “Yeah… you and your long chat with that little farm hussy cost me a cold drink…” Then, after a few seconds, she took on a more subdued face, “I’m really sorry, Lieutenant. It was… stupid and mean to make light of you like that. I know Jacinta just played along because she wants to please me. It kinda hurts knowing a little mare like her feels sorry for a nag like me… I just looked in the mirror one day, and I was an old maid…” Zip hadn’t meant to send her down the path of unhappiness, “Oh, Amethyst, I-” She actually silenced his voice with the glow of her horn; she looked at him forlornly, “There’s no need, sir… But to answer your question… nopony knew how to do the Baltimare Waltz. You’d think with all the soldiers here, from all over Equestria, there’d be one stallion that knew it.” Zip wasn’t sure what made him say it, “I know the Baltimare Waltz.” She looked stunned, “You know the Baltimare Waltz? That’s something my grandparents would’ve done, really, so how do you know it?” He hoofed the back of his neck, “My biggest little sister took dancing classes in exchange for doing some chores for the cotillion in Canterlot… She… needed to practice, and I could never say ‘no’ to her.” Practically glowing, she enthused, “Oh… could you? Please…?” He was willing, but he said, “I… can’t do it without music. I could never get the rhythm down without it.” Amethyst shined, “I can take care of that.” Reaching into a fold of her gown, she pulled out a tiny music box. She gently placed Jacinta in the grass and went about winding the music box. She was muttering, “Add a little spell to increase the volume… and… there.” Out of the box came a tinny, amplified tune; it was a waltz… and not an unfamiliar one. Zip had danced to this one with his sister. Pulling him up, she pleaded, “Oh, please, Lieutenant! It’s only a moment or two… and it would mean the world to me!” Smiling, he obliged. It wasn’t a complicated dance; it just took correct timing. It was as easy as it had ever been, and the two of them waltzed in the park. Amethyst seemed to enjoy it a little too much, snuggling up and resting her cheek on his shoulder. But he let her have it; it was only for a moment. And as quickly as they’d begun, it was over. Amethyst smiled fuzzily at him, “Oh, Lieutenant… You have a mare wishing she was 15 years younger.” Right in his face, he wasn’t sure what she’d do. She wasn’t so sure either, but she thought better than to do something stupid. She wound up giving him a little peck on the cheek. “Thank you, sir... for doing that.” He wasn’t humoring her; he'd wanted to, “Sure.” She went to pick up her little music box, holding it lovingly to her chest, “I… used to dance the Baltimare Waltz with my third husband… it was his favorite. He was a rather old-fashioned fellow.” Zip felt a wave of compassion run over him, noting Amethyst’s poignant continence. “He was the one, Lieutenant... I swore I’d never marry a navy stallion, but love had other plans. When his ship went down…” She sniffled; Zip moved in to do… something, but she rebuffed him, “Oh, don’t fret over me, Lieutenant. I miss him, certainly, but that’s life. It’s kinda silly to keep this little music box. He traded an apple for it somewhere… but it’s special to me…” Before Zip could say anything else, Amethyst stowed the music box, “It’s late, sir. Let’s get Jacinta to company headquarters. I’m sleeping there tonight, so I’ll keep an eye on her.” “Sure,” Zip said. Amethyst magicked Jacinta onto Zip’s back, and they made their way to company headquarters; it was only a block away, even closer than the mares’ barracks. Jacinta was indeed dead-weight; Zip was glad to set her down on the sofa near his squad leaders’ corner of the office, finally able to give his back a rest. Amethyst grabbed a few blankets from a closet. Getting Jacinta settled in, she turned to the Lieutenant. “Now, you get on out of here. She’s in acceptably okay hooves,” Amethyst nudged him along until they reached the front door. Zip cleared his throat, “Well… good night, Amethyst.” Smiling warmly and looking at him in ways that had him uneasy, she purred, “Good night, sir… and thanks again.” Giving him one last sloshed grin, she sauntered back inside, all but swinging her hips. The door shut, and Zip found himself alone. He could hear a sharp wind coming off the sea. It blew damp, cold air around him. He trembled involuntarily at it. Looking up, he'd previously failed to notice the heavy cloud cover that had begun to move in. Oh, yes… just what I hoped for when they sent me out here, Zip thought bitterly. Autumn was there in full, and there was a storm coming; he could smell it and feel it. The only solace was he’d be able to hole up someplace warm until Monday. Deciding to be grateful for the pleasant evening he’d shared with his platoon… his friends… he made his way to his quarters and had a most peaceful rest.