//------------------------------//
// Bridle Gossip 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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Dear Princess Celestia, 

Just when I thought this pathetic dump couldn't get any more pathetic, just when I thought the ponies down here couldn't get any worse they set the bar higher.  Spike and I had gone into town and everypony was locked up inside and hiding.  Now you're going to think the reason is pathetic, very pathetic.  Get this, they were hiding inside because a zebra had come into town.  Yep, they were hiding because of a damn zebra. 

That right there is proof that the ponies in this town truly are a bunch of pathetic xenophobes.  Why the hell are they so scared of a creature that means them no harm?  I get it, just like all xenophobes are, they're afraid of something that looks different.  Now if they have to hide inside when an outsider showed up, it should have been when I came along, they should have been scared when a truly superior being entered their presence. 

I felt truly disgusted that I was even associating with such judgmental assholes until Apple Bloom wanted to get to know this zebra but she proved to be equally as stupid when she decided to follow this zebra, Zecora, home.  She may not be a xenophobe yet but she'll likely wind up following the wrong thing home one of these days and wind up dead.  Oh well, it won't be a huge loss if she was to die anyway, it's not like something would happen to me.

Now for something really bad, when we went to get the idiot we stumbled into these blue plants and Zecora gave us some sort of warning about a joke.  The bad thing was that after getting into those blue plants, my horn went limp!  Now how in the hell am I supposed to give Twinkleshine, or any other hot mare for that matter, horn sex?  I love receiving naturally but I do like the feeling of a vaginal wall pressing on my horn too! 

Now I wasn't the only one to be affected by the plant, these acquaintances of mine did as well.  I'll be honest, I may have pretended to care but I really didn't.  What a shame they didn't all become tiny like Applejack, I could have mistaken them as appetizers of some sort and then flushed them down the toilet and out of my life once I digested them. 

Like I said, I didn't give a shit about their problems but I joined them on the journey out to Zecora's to save Applejack's moronic sister after she ran away from home.  Hey, I was going to demand that she restore my horn erection because I really need that thing to work properly for all aspects of life if you know what I mean.

When we got to Zecora's hut it looked like she was preparing a pot to boil Apple Bloom alive in and while everypony else seemed really concerned, I was secretly wondering what that little filly would taste like and hoped that Zecora would be willing to share.  Fortunately for Applejack, her little sister was fine and then I demanded she fix my horn.  

Now for the good news, she fixed my horn.  For the bad news, she fixed my acquaintances as well and then she gave the spa twins the recipe for that stuff.  Speaking of the spa twins, I've never had fun with earth ponies before and I'm thinking I may try them out.  A hot night in the steam room certainly sounds good right about now!  

With any luck though, this town won't be scared of Zecora anymore and will hopefully give other creatures a chance before judging them as well. 

Your Non-Xenophobic Student, 

Twilight Sparkle 

P.S.  I got the spa twins in bed and sweet Mother of Faust are they good!  I guess a couple ponies in this town are worthy of my presence after all.





To My More Accepting Student, 

I suppose I should have warned you about how backwater towns are, I should have warned you that they are full of xenophobes.  One thing I do want to make clear though, you are not so great and superior that they should have been afraid of you.  I know what some of them think of you, I can tell some of them think you're a stuck up bitch and wish I'd make you come home.  You know I secretly would but I hate them almost as much as you do so just to spite them, I'll make sure they're stuck with you. 

I'll let you know why that filly wasn't scared of Zecora.  Young fillies and colts have yet to be brainwashed by their elders and their speciesist ways.  I will admit though, had you ran away from home like that when you were a filly, I would have just let you wander off to your doom and found a different protege.  All of you are far too nice and way too caring. 

Let that be one huge lesson Twilight, being too caring can have serious consequences and I can see why that limp horn was bothering you so much.  You are such a kind, sweet, giving mare that you'd go nuts if you only took it.  That actually surprises me though, I would think a stuck up bitch like you would only want to receive the gift of pleasure. 

Now that is a crying shame though that Zecora didn't cook Apple Bloom.  I'm sure she would have tasted great and maybe you could have conned Zecora into giving you a to-go box that you could have brought up to me, Apple Bloom soup does sound rather tasty after all. 

I am glad to hear that you got your horn erection problem taken care of but I must say I'm surprised.  I never imagined you to be the type to want to screw earth ponies, I always thought you would think they'd be beneath you.  Well the spa twins are hot and those accents are very sexy so I can see why you'd choose those two.

One little request though, next time you get those spa twins in bed, invite me too.  I want to try them out.

Your Suddenly Needy Overlord, 

Princess Celestia