I couldn’t wait to get it published! I was excited beyond measure about the possible conversations I would be having with various news outlets, sensational radio talk shows, and various other interviews on stage or what-have-you. When I finished writing the article and submitted it, the reaction was exactly as I had expected. There was shock, disbelief, and even more disbelief.
The fact that I had been promised immunity from any backlash had emboldened me. Rarity wasn’t going to persecute me for it beyond the token amount necessary to maintain her image. Coco Pommel and Sassy Saddles weren’t going to try to get me for slander. The article itself was ridiculous, and when it hit the streets, the reaction was exactly what I had expected: Laughter.
Ponies were talking in the streets about how Rarity had become a fashion designer because she had wanted the Everfree Forest to be pretty. Ponies were laughing at how Rarity had created the perfect fashion model body as a hobby in her spare time. Ponies got a chuckle at how she had dressed the cragadile in rocks so he wouldn’t be naked, and the parasprites so she could see them easier. It was a joke, and a big one at that. It never made it into Equestrian Fashion, but other tabloids ate it up, and I loved it. I was a hit.
But then I learned Rarity was right.
The tales about the Everfree had given encouragement to some ponies to read too far into it. The first recorded instance of a pony disappearing into searching for Rarity’s supposed ‘treasure’ hit the news within a month after its publication. I began to hear conspiracies about Rarity and the forest circling the streets. Tales of hidden gold, magical fashion spells, and superstitions came from all over.
And it was all my fault.
Ponies were selling expeditions to find Rarity’s ‘fashion secret’ inside the Everfree and many weren’t coming back. It was a dangerous place, and even more dangerous for somepony from the city with no experience in the wilds. Deaths and disappearances began piling up, and a lot of them were suspiciously unusual.
Blame was laid at my hooves for their actions, as I had been the one to start talking about them. Ponies who didn’t know the difference between a tabloid and a reputable source of information came to find me, pounding at my door for more information about the source of Rarity’s fashion secrets and her gemstone cache. They were hunting for treasure and were convinced that I was hiding the source. Some even claimed I had it with me and that I should share it.
I decided to lay low. I returned to Ponyville, contrite, and slumped into Rarity’s boutique, head bowed.
“Welcome back, Mr. Deadline. I’ve been expecting you,” said Rarity as I dragged myself in the door.
“I figured you would be.”
“You see now why nopony ever shares it? Ponies are too quick to believe there’s more to something than immediately meets the eye, and so it is with your story.”
“They’re after a treasure that doesn’t exist.”
“Oh, no. It exists, but I can’t let them have it.”
I looked up at her. “Wait…”
“You forced my hoof, darling.”
“You’ve been killing them?”
“What? Oh, no. I haven’t been doing the killing, I’ve been spreading the lies. If they get themselves killed, that’s unfortunate, and I try not to, but they can be very stubborn.”
“You’re letting them die, then,” I said, unhappy.
“Some of them, yes,” she said sadly. “The ones who find my grave. I don’t need that kind of threat looming over my head.”
“I… guess not,” I sighed out. “I feel responsible.”
“You are responsible.”
I gave her a wry look. “Gee, thanks.”
“I did warn you not to publish it.”
“You said they wouldn’t believe me!”
“And they don’t.”
“Then what are they doing in the Everfree?”
“They’re looking for what they’re reading -between- the lines, not what you’ve written. They think your farce is hiding something.”
“How do I fix it? They’re getting themselves killed out there, and it’s all my fault!”
It was Rarity’s turn to sigh. She never put down the outfit she was working, but she turned to look at me while her clothes seemingly made themselves under the guidance of her magic. “You have two options, darling. You can let the rumor flourish, weeding out the ponies who are interested in the treasure enough to go seek it to their deaths, or you can publish another story that will draw attention from it.”
“Another story? Why should they believe a new one over the first one?”
“Because I’ll be helping you with this one,” Rarity said with a grin.
“Well, I don’t want more ponies to die because of me. What would you suggest we do?”
“What you will do, darling. Not we. I had no hoof in this.”
I flinched at the reminder. “Alright, alright. You’ve made that point clear. What am I going to do?”
“You’re going to write another story confirming that it’s all true.”
“What!” I yelled. She raised a hoof to try to calm me down. “We’ve already had ponies die from the first one, why do we want more ponies going into the Everfree?”
“Because those ponies were too eager and unprepared. You bear no responsibility other than emotional. It sounds cold, but after centuries you get over it.”
“It is cold.”
Rarity ignored me. “Tell them you’ve found the treasure, and it’s in the Everfree, and Rarity doesn’t know you know.”
“Then why would I publish it?”
“I’ll leave the details up to you, but tell everypony that there is a treasure you have found belonging to the illustrious Rarity in the Everfree Forest.”
I looked at her askance. “You’re not planning on getting rid of everypony who believes it, are you?”
She looked hurt. “Darling, do you truly think so little of me?”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
“Then go and write that story, and when you come back, I’ll have it all prepared for you.”
“It all prepared…? What?”
She didn’t answer and instead ushered me out the door, insisting that there was work to be done. The door shut behind me and I was left to myself. I had no idea what I was going to do, or how I was going to do it, but Rarity said she had plans, and I didn’t have any, so I obeyed. I returned home and started writing.
By the time the second story came out, you couldn’t hear anything in the streets or at the cafes but rumors about the treasure that had been found, and about me.
Many ponies wanted to interview me asking about it. There were non-believers (myself included), and believers, ponies who wanted to draw more secrets from me about the treasure and ponies who wanted to expose me for the fraud I was. I talked to both sides with equal interest (which was to say, not much).
Eventually, I received a visit from Rarity’s aide in Manehatten, Coco Pommel.
“Mr. Deadline, yes?” I was out eating when the mare approached me. I recognized her immediately.
“Yes, Ms. Pommel?”
“Oh, you know me! I suspected you might. I have a message from Rarity.”
I felt eyes all around us stop and look. Ponies were still interested in what I had to say, strangely enough. I didn’t know what to do about it.
“Right here?”
Coco looked around and shrugged. “Rarity says it’s alright if other ponies hear. She wants you to go get the treasure, if you dare. It’s all yours. Just come to this location in the Everfree in three weeks’ time.” She handed me a slip of paper with a map of Ponyville and a path I should take to the Everfree.
“Should… I let other ponies know?”
“There’s enough for everypony, yes.”
I was confused but took the paper and nodded. “I’ll… let them know, then.”
“Good luck, Mr. Deadline.”
As soon as Coco left, the gathered crowds around us dispersed, heading off to whatever magazine, paper, or other company they worked for. I stood up as well, but I knew I wouldn’t have to do much. Information that was stolen was infinitely more enticing than information that was a freely given. By the time I had published my own story, telling ponies about the location they should meet in three weeks, other outlets had already had the location leaked.
I arrived back in Ponyville early, to see to visiting Rarity. I’d been wary, but there was nothing else I could do about it save prepare for whatever was coming and hope Rarity was as benevolent as she said.
Her voice rang out when I entered the boutique. “Welcome, Mr. Deadline.”
“How did you know it was me?” I asked, halfheartedly.
“Nopony can open a door with such confused despondence as you, Mr. Deadline. I should think you would be happy about all the attention you’ve been getting.”
“Attention is a double-edged sword. If I don’t deliver something amazing, my career is over. What do you have planned?”
“I’m not going to let you spoil the surprise, Mr. Deadline. You’ll have to wait and see just like everypony else,” she said with a click of her tongue.
“You’re not going to kill them, are you?”
“That would draw far too much attention, Darling. Not to mention it would place the blame on you and me both. I wouldn’t drag anypony else into my messes without their consent.”
“Yeah, I won’t consent to that.”
“As I thought,” Rarity said as she deftly sewed the final stitch into the dress. “Now, I knew you would be coming, so I arranged for you to stay with Twilight at her castle, and I’ve made it public knowledge. You’ll have a lot of visitors for the next couple of days, so I suggest you start getting comfortable.”
“What? Why?”
Rarity tapped the side of her nose and grinned. “To keep you from snooping! You’ll see it all soon enough.”
I was pushed out of the boutique and morosely wandered over to the Castle of Friendship. As I walked I discovered that I wasn’t the only one prepared to come early and try to find out what was happening. There were crowds of ponies gathered around the elements of harmony, chattering away at them. The one I recognized as Pinkie Pie was enjoying herself, but the others looked so tired.
Poor Applejack had collected a group of ponies with her apple cart and was discussing the “virtues and values of apple-buckin’” versus using magic to collect the fruit.
Rainbow Dash, one of the elements I hadn’t met during my last trip, but I recognized her from the Wonderbolts, was talking about how cool she was and her latest feats of flight. The ponies collected underneath her on the ground were taking photographs, listening intently, and were utterly distracted from what they might have come here to do. If they were after the ‘treasure’, like I was, they had been effectively distracted.
Princess Twilight’s castle was no exception to this. Despite having been told I had a place to stay, I didn’t think Rarity would have extended the invitation to other ponies. Princess Twilight’s castle was swarmed with ponies come to marvel and gawk at the newest home of the newest princess. Twilight hadn’t set up any sort of rules or regulations, and had no guards other than her own friends and the ponies of Ponyville. So, ponies could wander up and even take a chunk of the castle off to take home, which they were doing with reckless abandon. It apparently healed itself with magic, but her dragon (Spike, if I recalled?) was trying to get them to clear off and leave it alone without much success.
I entered the building and called out. “Princess? Are you here?”
She appeared in a flash of light with a slightly panicked voice. “Yes! Yes. Yes, I’m here. How can I help? Mr. Deedlit, right?”
“Uh, Deadline, Princess Twilight,” I said.
“Sure, sure. Sorry. We’re a little bit busy, with the upcoming… surprise, Rarity has planned.”
I scratched the back of my head and looked away. “Yeah, that’s my fault. I’m sorry about that.”
“Oh, no worries! Rarity knows what’s best, after all. If she thinks this’ll clean everything up nice and neat, it probably will.”
“You’re just… going along with it all?”
“Yep!” Her horn flashed. I didn’t see what happened, but there was a scream outside.
“But you’re a princess, why do you do everything she says?”
“Oh, pffft! Princesses are easy. There’s like, five of us now. But there’s only one Rarity!”
“I… guess that makes sense. She’s that powerful, huh?”
“Oh, of course! I may be the element of magic, but magic is friendship, and friendship is generous.”
“So she’s powerful enough to… say… stop an entire army?”
“Absolutely!” She stopped and looked at me. “You think she’s going to kill everypony?”
“No! Well… maybe? I don’t know what her plans are, and I’d be lying if I wasn’t worried.”
“Mr. Deadline, please just calm down. She’s not going to kill an entire crowd of ponies for no reason. She’d only do that if she thought it would prevent the rest of Equestria from being in trouble, and then as a last resort.”
“So she -would-, you’re saying.”
“Yes, but since she’s not well-known to ponies like the princesses, if the princesses got enough complaints, they would attack Ponyville, Rarity, and the entire Everfree Forest if they had to.”
“So she’s not immune to the princesses.”
“No. We probably wouldn’t be able to kill her permanently, but we’d have to make a show of it, and she wouldn’t come back as the same pony, for obvious reasons.”
“Have you ever had to do that?”
“Not me, personally, but Celestia had to during a conflict in the middle Equestrian period. I think that was when she took on the moniker ‘Rarity’. Then she was just moving around ever since until Ponyville was founded.”
“Huh. So even a pony as powerful as she is can be harmed.”
Twilight looked at me sternly. “Mr. Deadline, I would prefer you keep any plans you might have out of this. Rarity has it all under control, and if you try to harm my friend or expose her in any way, I will make your life utterly miserable. Are we clear?”
“Yes, princess. Your castle clear.”
She blinked, the chuckled. “Heh… because my castle is made of crystal, so crystal clear.”
I nodded.
“Come this way, Mr. Deadline. My friends are keeping your guests entertained, so your job is just to stay here and keep busy until the day arrives.”
“Of course, Princess.”
So wait I did. I even kept myself occupied with reading inside the castle. I went outside only once, to try to visit Rarity, but she brushed me off. Her friends came to visit Twilight a couple of times, and I tried to glean something from them, but each one of them was tight-lipped about what was going to happen. Even the pink one, who seemed bubbly and outgoing and most likely to spill, zipped her lip shut and wouldn’t speak, though I couldn’t say if they weren’t willing to talk, or just didn’t know themselves.
As the time approached the crowds grew even bigger. I sequestered myself in my room in the hopes that I would be ignored, but Princess Twilight seemed intent on keeping me busy. I think it was payback for putting Rarity in this position, but I was hounded almost constantly by fans and other ponies out to hunt the treasure. I had only a few moment’s peace, so I was exceedingly glad when the day finally arrived.
We all migrated out to the Everfree Forest en masse. Some ponies were afraid of it, but with Ponyville’s residents there and the princess of friendship herself they calmed down. Everypony poured into the woods and followed Twilight to the destination, which I recognized as the strange clearing with the grave at one end. It seemed… closer to Ponyville than I remembered, and bigger. The gemstones marking the grave at the far end were much bigger, as well. To make it obvious? Was this all fabricated?
I felt a hoof take mine and looked who it was to see Princess Twilight grabbing my hoof. She dragged me out in front of the crowd and over to the gemstones. Grass had grown over the grave from when Rarity had brought me here, if this was, indeed, the same spot. She passed me a shovel and nodded.
“Mr. Deadline will now be digging up the treasure! Everypony keep your eyes peeled to see what will be coming up!” she yelled.
“Why does he get the treasure?” somepony yelled.
Nopony responded to the shout. To be fair, I didn’t really want it. I wanted this whole mess to blow over so that I could go back to writing about bad fashion choices and mistakes and blaming ponies for not knowing how to create things. Whatever Rarity had planned, however, was caused by me, involved with me, and I would pay the piper with whatever she’d cooked up, so I dug.
Cameras flashed as the shovel bit into the dirt. Other reporters were going to talk about this and whatever happened would indelibly stain my career from here on out. No turning back.
I dug down and my shovel hit the sarcophagus I remembered. Reporters pushed in closer and ponies gathered around to see what it was. At that moment, the sarcophagus began to rumble.
A deep, grumbling voice speaking a language I didn’t understand called out in a rage-filled voice. Ponies cried out in terror, and some of the reporters shouted at me, telling me I had brought everyone to share in my misfortune. The sky darkened with clouds and lightning flashed in the sky, followed by deep, rumbling thunder.
Then spotlights came on.
Something banged against the casket lid once, twice, then threw it up and out of the hole. I stood pressed against the side of the dirt walls as Rarity’s corpse floated up and out of the sarcophagus. She grabbed my throat with a hoof and lifted me up with her. I choked, kicking and flapping my wings to try to escape.
“WHO DARES DISTURB THE RESTING PLACE OF RARITY?” she boomed. All hooves pointed at me. She glared at me with sunken, dead eyes. “YOU WANTED TREASURE?” I just choked. She nodded in response. “THEN I SHALL SHARE WITH YOU THE BEST THAT I HAVE!”
There was a flash of light and smoke. I felt the grip on my neck disappear, and I landed on something hard and wood. There was a whoosh and I heard a laugh, then the sound of a cannon. Confetti sprinkled down around me, and I heard the broken glass cackling of Rarity herself. The smoke was blown away and then music began. I looked around and found myself on the end of a stage, covering the gravesite, with spotlights, held by pegasi up above, pointed at none other than Rarity herself!
She had replaced her dessicated corpse with the more presentable one, and was wearing a brand-new outfit, all in dark colours. She lifted her nose and strutted down the runway—for that’s what I was sitting on—toward the end and to me.
Ponies were all in awe now, a cheer rose up and cameras flashed once more. She had put together a fashion show in the Everfree forest! She marched around me, then went on her way back down the runway.
As soon as Rarity went behind the curtains, she showed up out of the opposite side wearing a new outfit. This happened again, and again, then the corpse Rarity came out, wearing nothing but leaves and sticks. This prompted a laugh. She even snarled at the audience as she went by, getting a shout of surprise and more laughter. She was playing the audience, and she was doing it well.
It went on for some time, Rarity showing off a line of clothes she had probably made for this purpose alone, and when it ended, I was left more confused than ever, but relieved that I wasn’t going to have to deal with her killing more ponies in the woods. As the last of the audience left after her show, she came up to me.
“Problem solved, Mr. Deadline.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
“You guess? Darling, I put all that together just for you, you know.”
“You could have just left it.”
“I don’t just leave things, Mr. Deadline, and I’m not stupid. I know an opportunity when I see one.”
“I don’t know how you turned that around like that, but it worked.”
“I have a lot of friends, Mr. Deadline.”
I looked around at the ponies all cleaning up the clearing, pulling down the stage and taking away the lights. “So it would seem.”
“Yes, and I’d like to keep them.”
“Yeah, I am sorry.”
“Don’t be! Did you know you’re actually the first pony to publish that story?”
“What? I thought you said some had tried before.”
She shook her head. “That was a little fib to dissuade you from doing so. It had a bit of a different effect than I’d expected, I must admit.”
“But—”
She tapped me on the nose. “No buts, Mr. Deadline. Now, I’m quite exhausted, and I think we should have tea.”
“Exhausted? Can you even get exhausted?”
“No, but it’s a good excuse for tea, don’t you think?”
“I… guess?”
“Then come. All my friends are invited, that means you.”
“Well, thanks, I guess.”
“We can talk about your next photoshoot of Rarity.”
“Next one?!”
The End.