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// Griffon the Brush Off 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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Dear Princess Celestia, 

Once again I am questioning the sanity of one of my friends.  There I was trying to read when the one with ADHD just continued to bounce around and go on and on about how great Crashie is.  Do you have any idea how hard it was for me not to just beat her senseless?  Anyway, Crash goes flying by and luckily Pinkie went chasing after her so I could relax while I read. 

I personally think that Pinkie needs some sense knocked into her because it seemed like Rainbow was barely tolerating her presence as she was trying to get away from her.  Hell, it seemed like she was tolerating her even less than me and that says something since merely being around her makes me want to spit nails.

As you figured out, Rainbow decided to tolerate Pinkie and they began pulling pranks.  The little bitches did all sorts of annoying things but the worst was swapping out my ink for invisible ink.  Damn it anyway, I was trying to write down what I needed for a lust potion I was going to give Twinkleshine next time she is down here, which is fairly often I notice.

Now given that I had shut myself in the library I didn't know a ton of what happened but I did have my window open and apparently some bitch, a griffon, from Rainbow's past showed up in town and suddenly Pinkie has fallen to the bottom of Rainbow's priority list.  Great, just great, now she's probably going to come bitch to me about it when I have better things to do, which is just about anything.

As it turns out, I was right.  Pinkie did come bitching to me about how this Gilda told her to buzz off and shit but I really wasn't paying enough attention to know everything she complained about.  Now I knew it is my duty as a "friend" to try and give her some proper guidance.  I basically told her to quit being so judgmental and then she went on her way. 

After that I'm not real sure what the hell she did until I got an invitation to some party she was throwing for Gilda.  I swear, Ponyville will make up any excuse to get out of being productive and throw a party.  Despite me having little desire to go, I heard there would be cake so Spike and I figured we would go. 

Now naturally Gilda was being a bitch at the party when she fell for every trap that was set up for her.  She ain't the brightest bulb in the box, that's for sure but what can you expect out of the lesser species in this country.  Ultimately she snapped and even Crashie had to admit she was a bitch and she ran her out of town. 

Luckily for the town, Gilda left and the rest of the party went by fine but I am going to admit, I picked up a bad habit from you because I wound up eating the rest of the cake.  Yeah the townsponies are all pissy now but I don't care, I satisfied my appetite and that is all that matters. 

Your Cake Craving Student, 

Twilight Sparkle 





To My Cake Craving Student, 

Before I say anything else I am going to warn you.  If you so much as even eyeball my cake, I'll banish you to the moon, got it?

I'll be honest, from the way you are talking I think Pinkie may have something for Rainbow.  Why in Equestria she would I don't know but it sure the hell seems like it. 

Ok, now another thing I am going to make clear.  This lust potion you want to give Twinkleshine, don't even think about making it because making things that alter ponies' behavior in such a way is illegal and is punishable by death and I don't feel like being obliged to burn you alive, ok?

About your advice to Pinkie, you should have told her to continue to judge Gilda and be suspicious of her every move because griffons are on my shit list and are to never be trusted.  Now as far as this party went, I know you bitch and complain about it reducing productivity but look at it this way, had they not held it you wouldn't have got any cake so there is something you should be happy about. 

Seriously though, could you please go through one day without bitching about one thing or another?

Your Fellow Cake Craver, 

Princess Celestia