Always Stick to What You Know
For once, things had gone better than Nymph had expected. After helping Thorax settle in his new room, she decided to next have him meet with the sirens and explain to them what was going on. They found them lazing in their bedroom and she tried to be as friendly as possible when she introduced Thorax to them as their new friend. To her luck, they seemed to be just uninterested in him and just accepted the fact they were stuck with him, which was far better than them displaying some sort of defiance or wanting to torment him. Maybe they weren’t so hopeless after all.
When night came around, Luna took Nymph and Thorax with her to Cupid’s Arrow. Upon opening the door, their friends all surprised Thorax with his farewell party. Unfortunately, Luna was completely unaware of the surprise and reacted by shooting a beam they nearly blasted Chrysalis and left a gaping hole in her office door. Despite this, everyone still enjoyed the party that was saturated with balloons and streamers, although the ponies and Spike were sad to hear that Thorax was leaving. They were very shocked to hear the true reason for him going away to Canterlot and wished him the best while Chrysalis kept giving Nymph dirty looks for the rest of the party.
The following day, Nymph brought Thorax with her to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns during the afternoon. They walked past the many unicorn children leaving the building, all of them too eager to be free from education to notice a queen in their presence, and inside near the entrance of the school was Celestia’s office. When they opened the door, they found Celestia sitting at her desk with Aria standing in front of it, facing Adagio and Sonata sitting across from her. The alicorn’s office looked like a typical principal’s office with her desk having a name plaque on top and many filing cabinets behind her, but it also came with fancy red curtains, a beautiful blue carpet, a shiny leather office chair, and next to the bookshelf were many graded papers, all once owned by Twilight Sparkle and marked with an A+. “Hello, Nymph and Thorax,” greeted Celestia. “You two are just in time.”
“Oh come on!” complained Aria. “I don’t want to do it in front of them!”
“There’s no need to feel embarrassed. It is not uncommon here for one to express their feelings. I promise they will not partake in any mockery.”
“Fine.” Aria groaned as the other two sirens snickered. “Dear Sonata,” she began through clenched teeth, “I am...sorry...that I always call you names and hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean anything I said. You mean a lot to me and I hope that one day, we can be...friendsssssssss…” She loudly sighed and sat down, blushing intensely while her cohorts cracked up.
“Short, but it’s a start,” said Celestia, sounding very pleased. “How do you feel right now?”
Aria buried her face in her hooves. “I want to die.”
“Aw, but don’t you wanna share more of your girly feelings to me?” teased Sonata.
Aria’s eye twitched. “Sure,” she answered as she folded up the sheet of paper. “Just let me mail this letter first!” She shoved it straight into Sonata’s mouth, who immediately spat it out.
They both jumped out of their seats and before the two of them could go at it, Celestia kept them apart with her magic. “Enough. Apologize and hug.” Both sirens crossed their forelegs, turning away from each other. “Go on. This session will not end until you do it.” They reluctantly hugged each other while muttering their apologizes. “Good. Isn't that much better than fighting?” Neither of them answered, so she motioned a hoof to her guests. “I assume you girls remember Thorax?”
“H-hello,” he greeted, slowly waving his hoof.
The sirens looked at him funnily before turning to Celestia. “Why do we care about this guy again?” asked Aria.
“Because he’s going to be your friend and keep you three company when neither I nor Celestia can,” answered Nymph.
“I’m not going to be friends with a bug,” spoke Adagio as she eyed the feeble changeling.
“You don’t have a choice. Even without magic, you three need to remain under constant supervision. Given how you three behave, he’s going to be more of a grubsitter than a warden.” Nymph patted Thorax on the back and he jumped. “If you can behave yourselves, then you four should get along fine. Now Thorax, don’t you have some exciting news for them?”
“You girls get to sing in public today. That sounds like fun, right?” The sirens threw themselves in front of him and he backed into the door.
“For realzies!?” gasped Sonata. “We can actually go perform in front of people!?”
“It’s about time!” said Adagio. “I’ve been dying to have an audience for so long. I miss the cheers of fans, chanting my name.”
They dashed out the door with Aria dragging Thorax behind her. “Why are we just standing around? Let’s go already!”
Celestia stood up and walked with Nymph as they followed them out of the school. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to attend their performance today. Are you sure you can handle them without me?”
“I’m sure they understand that there are consequences for their actions,” answered Nymph confidently.
“Perhaps, but is Thorax enough to keep them from causing trouble all by himself?”
“He’s a good friend, Celestia, and he’s braver than he looks. I have complete confidence in him.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Outside the school, they saw Thorax lead the Dazzlings down the street. “You better go catch up. Good luck, Nymph.” The princess disappeared in a flash of light and Nymph underwent a transformation to turn into a blue unicorn with a yellow mane before pursuing them.
In her disguise, Nymph followed them at a distance. The streets were dense with ponies and changelings, but given the unique manes of the Dazzlings, especially Adagio’s mountain of hair, they were not hard to locate. Thorax led them toward a large fountain of Celestia in the middle of a plaza and she could see Adagio making him stop. It looked like an appropriate spot for them to perform their first public performance in months. The three mares gathered together to talk with Aria shoving their escort away. Nymph watched him sit dejectedly at one of the tables and went to go sit next to him. “I must admit I am excited to hear them sing.”
“They’re trying to pick what songs to sing. Hopefully they pick one of the ones Pinkie wrote for them because I heard them sing something last night that felt...scary.”
“So Pinkie is going to be paid royalties, right?” They jumped and saw Chrysalis in her Cherub disguise walk up to their table and take a seat with a cup of coffee. “Pinkie has been dying to hear them sing, but I think she would be safer in Ponyville.”
“Chrysie? What are you doing here? Isn’t Cupid’s Arrow still open? How did you even find us?”
“Celestia was kind enough to give me a lift earlier once I had Spike send her a letter. I followed you both to her school and waited until I saw the Dazzlings come out. And don’t worry about Cupid’s Arrow. Pinkie’s got it handled. Ever since I found out about this job you have given Thorax, I could not shake this bad feeling of something going wrong. I simply had to drop by to make sure he was fine.” She leaned over the table, putting her hoof on the other changeling’s. “Are you okay, Thorax? I don’t take you for the type for such dangerous work. Did my sister blackmail you or something?” Nymph smacked Chrysalis on the side.
“She didn’t blackmail me! I just wanted to help. She said the Dazzlings were going to help unite ponies and changelings.”
Chrysalis looked toward the three sirens and then to her sister. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Absolutely. What can these girls possibly do with those pendants attached to them? And Celestia agreed to my idea, so you just need to have faith.” They then noticed Adagio stood up on the edge of the fountain with her backup singers standing beside her below. Aria and Sonata soon provided music and Adagio began to sing.
“Hello, my sweet little ponies
You have been plagued by mere phonies.
You listen and consumed their overrated songs.
But now we’re here to undo their wrongs.”
Nymph already felt entranced by their song, even if was just boosting their own ego. Around her, she felt similar reactions from the ponies watching. The song had just begun and already many were drawn in. It was almost scary they could be this alluring with only some of their magic available.
“Now that we have entered you mind,
Leave those false idols behind.
We have come a long way
And now we are here to stay.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Thorax paying heavy attention to Adagio as she strutted around and sometimes swayed her hips while on two legs, proudly singing her malevolent song. She gently shoved him with her hoof and he looked at her, confused. “Be careful. Their beautiful bodies and voices will draw you into their clutches.” He hastily nodded, but went right back into watching them. Looking around, more people had appeared to witness the performance.
“And now that is seems,
We three are your queens.
You no longer have any choice.
Join us and fall for my perfect voice.”
Soon the song came to an end and everyone around them applauded. Sonata then pulled a hat out of nowhere and placed it on the ground in front of them for ponies to toss bits in. “I can’t believe you agreed to this, Thorax,” spoke Chrysalis, casting a disapproving glance at Nymph. “You shouldn’t be anywhere near those girls. That song is a red flag that they are up to no good. They are practically flaunting it to us.”
“It’s not so bad. I just want to do everything I can to help Nymph. Besides,” he looked around, “I brought a secret weapon to use against them just in case.”
“Secret weapon?” both royal changelings asked.
“Yep!” Thorax reached into his saddle bag and pulled out a rather large object wrapped in strange, purple cloth. “Before I came to Equestria, I was selling the last of my gems to diamond dogs to make enough money to move. But then, this one merchant came to me and offered me something amazing. For all of my gems and even a lot of my money, I bought something to help keep me safe from all the magical threats in Equestria! I have to keep it wrapped up at all times to contain its power.” He slowly unraveled the cloth to reveal a grey rock with a shade of green in it. “Behold!”
“A rock.” Nymph slowly turned to Thorax. “You gave that all up...for a rock.”
“Not just any rock! It’s an anti-magic rock! By keeping its powers contained in this enchanted cloth, no one knows that I can stop magic!” He suddenly grinned and his wings buzzed behind him. “If they try anything, I can be a hero I just like Spike by saving the day!”
It was a nightmare. This had to be a nightmare. A story that seemed to have been crafted by her father was somehow brought back before her in a twisted form of mockery. She expected Chrysalis to be laughing at any moment, but she instead looked rather disheartened. “Thorax, there’s one problem with your ‘secret weapon’.”
“What?” Nymph magically lifted it up. “B-but! But!”
“You were swindled.”
“I was...tricked?” Thorax slowly sank under the table, vanishing from sight. “I blew so much money...on a rock. A stupid, normal rock.” Thorax fell onto the ground and curled up “I’m the dumbest changeling alive.”
“It’s not your fault,” said Chrysalis while gently rubbing his shoulder. “Diamond dogs are good at getting what they want.” She wrapped the rock back up in the cloth and placed it back on the table. “Who knows? Maybe it will make a nice centerpiece?”
“I guess I’ll just tell people that it’s magic and hope they believe me.” He slowly got back onto his seat and then planted his face on the table. “I hate rocks.” Nymph and Chrysalis moved their chairs closer to him and comforted him. After some minutes, Nymph realized that the Dazzlings were singing another song, specifically the changeling song they complained to her about yesterday. It seems despite their protests, they had been practicing it in their spare time. When they finished, more ponies and changelings were present, applauding them and the trio took a bow. Once the crowd dispersed, the Dazzlings walked over to their table.
“I must admit that I was stunned by how beautiful you all sounded,” spoke Nymph. “You three are certainly blessed with remarkable voices.”
“Is that jealousy I sense from you?” Adagio taunted.
Cheeks red in her pony form, Nymph harrumphed at her. “I am merely admiring your talent. You attracted quite an audience with that song I recall you complaining about.”
“It’s not the song the people care about, it’s who is singing it,” Adagio boasted. “If you don’t have the voice, no one cares who you are.”
“It’s not like other talents matter,” Aria added sarcastically.
“Yes, yes. We all know how talented you are, Aria,” Adagio said dismissively before holding up the money filled hat. “But my voice is certainly is the breadwinner right now, isn’t it?” Aria grumbled something under her breath.
“You won bread? What kind? Sourdough? Pretzel? Can we make toast for dinner!?” All five of them silently stared at Sonata and their gazes helped her realize how ridiculous she sounded. “B-b-but my voice helped, too!”
Adagio gently rubbed Sonata’s head, who lightly purred and leaned against her. “Of course it did. Where would I be without either of you?”
Nymph managed to catch Aria whisper, “Same question I ask myself all the time.”
Sonata held up the hat. “Look how much money we have! They loved us so much, they paid us in gold! We’re rich!”
“You're not exactly wealthy with that much,” corrected Chrysalis. “You’ve made only about sixty bits, which is pretty good for a first performance.”
“We’ll be drowning in bits before you know it.” Adagio picked up some bits and dropped them back into the pile.
“Does that mean one day, we can make a real swimming pool of gold!?” Sonata squealed.
“You understand that gold is solid, yes?” Nymph questioned worriedly.
“Not as solid as her skull,” Aria said aloud. “We’re allowed to do a bit of shopping, right? This is our money after all. We should be allowed to spend it.”
“I suppose you have earned yourselves a shopping trip.” Nymph turned to the little changeling. “Thorax, go with them and keep them out of trouble. There’s a few things I must go take care of in the palace.” She magically took off his saddle bag with the rock inside. “I’ll go put this in you room. I don’t think you will be needing this weighing you down.”
He bowed his head. “As you wish, My Queen.”
Nymph chuckled. “If there are any problems, let me know and I will deal with it personally. I strongly suggest you girls be on your best behavior.” She waved goodbye and walked with Chrysalis back toward the palace. Before they were out of sight, Chrysalis shot one last glare at the sirens.
Thorax continued waving goodbye until someone bumped him. “Come on, shrimp,” snapped Aria. “Lead the way.”
“To where?”
“The stores!” squealed Sonata. “We wanna buy some new outfits!”
“Something other than maid uniforms would be nice,” Adagio growled. “Ponies here can actually make decent clothes, I assume?”
“Of course! The clothing stores are this way. I think.” He took the lead with the three sirens behind him as they kept a moderate distance from him. Every now and then he would look over his shoulder to ensure that they weren’t either trying to give him the slip or sneak up on him. Although they put him on edge, he found himself drawn to the Dazzlings. Perhaps it was their wonderful singing or that they were mythical creatures he had never heard of that he enjoyed the most. He wished he could tell Pharynx of his new job to show that he had made something of himself in Equestria, but he was sworn to secrecy. His brother wouldn’t have believed him anyway, so he wasn’t too upset.
He gave them another glance and they tried their best to ignore him. So far, they didn’t seem that bad compared to some of the changelings he dealt with when he was younger and he felt befriending them was certainly possible. However, breaking the ice was always difficult, but Rarity once told him the best way to begin conversation with a lady was to compliment them. “You all have very beautiful voices, by the way.”
“Aw, so that’s sweet of you to say!” gushed Sonata.
“And my voice is no doubt the best. Wouldn’t you agree, Thorax?” Adagio asked rather seductively.
“Oh please,” groaned Aria. “We get it. You sing well. We don’t need to hear it all the time.”
“What’s the matter?” Adagio leaned closer, her smug face meeting with Aria’s annoyed face. “Are you perhaps jealous that your voice will never be as good as mine? I was just lucky enough to be born talented.”
“I thought it was magic that made you sang well. Spike said when your pendents broke, you all had terrible voices that would make deaf children cry and got booed off the stage.” The air around Thorax suddenly felt a thousand degrees warmer and it reeked of angry sushi. When he slowly looked behind him, three fiery pairs of eyes looked right back at him and they all read the same thing: death. “B-b-b-b-but I mean, I don’t know anything about that place, so who am I to judge? Like I probably couldn’t change over there, so I wouldn’t be that special, either. Hehehe…”
“I say we get some bug spray,” sneered Adagio. “Just in case.” The other two sirens nodded and Thorax gulped in return before they continued walking. One attempt of conversation had landed him on the bad side of all three. He hung his head as he concluded that he had blown any chance he had of making friends with them.
It then occurred to him that Pinkie was a similar spot before with Chrysalis. From what she told him, it took friendship and love to turn over the former queen who also still had not gotten over her defeat. Making friends with someone legendary like Spike was a breeze, so hopefully he could do it again. He just had to keep trying, no matter what. “So do you girls wanna do something fun? You know, to celebrate you first performance?”
“With you?” Adagio asked with amusement. “Why would we want anything to do with a cockroach?”
Sonata took a moment studying Thorax and then turned to her. “Don’t you mean changeling? Geez. You need to get your bugs right, Dagi.” Aria loudly groaned and Adagio facehoofed.
“The point is,” Adagio growled, dragging her hoof down her face, “that we don’t like you, Thorax. You’re just here under Nymph’s orders and trying to teach us stupid friendship like Celestia is. The very idea that you see yourself as an equal to us by asking to hang out disgusts me.” She marched over to him menacingly and he fell on the ground, quivering. “Compared to us, you’re nothing!” The leader harrumphed and walked past him with her nose turned up, followed by Sonata and Aria who made the same gesture.
Thorax sighed as got up and tried to keep up with them, but he really didn’t want to have any more to do with them. He met mean changelings before and his brother could be a hassle sometimes, but these three really took the cake. Perhaps this was why Twilight never tried befriending them in the other world. Not that he blamed her or anything, but Thorax felt she was a little responsible as to why he was stuck with them now. Fortunately, he went to Twilight during his going away party and she was more than happy to give friendship advice so they he may create a good relationship with the sirens.
Too bad they clearly didn’t want to be his friend.
While thinking over a way to get on their good side, Thorax glanced at a nearby window of a bookstore, seeing several books on display. One book, however, caught his complete attention. On the cover was a picture of a minotaur giving a thumbs up over the title “How to Crush Your Enemies and Make Them Respect You!” He hastily ran inside the store and picked up a copy as if his life depended on it.
Opening to a random page, the author listed various methods and phrases to strike fear into the hearts of others as well as a diagram of himself performing a suplex on a manticore. Pharynx was right about him needing tougher skin and this would be the perfect way to surprise his brother the next time they met. Thorax’s body tingled as he skimmed through the pages, feeling more and more confident. The next time he saw those sirens, they would be dealing with a whole new changeling.
After a few minutes of reading, it suddenly occurred to Thorax that he had completely lost track of them. He scrambled out of the book store and flew into the air. Looking around, it wasn’t long until caught sight of Aria down the street just by her mane. When he landed near her, Thorax saw that she was boredly leaning against the wall of a clothes store while playing with one of her pigtails. “Oh. You’re back. Great.”
“Where are Adagio and Sonata?”
“Inside.” Aria tilted her head toward the door. “This store is a little girly for my tastes, but it might be a perfect fit for you. You can find a nice skirt to wear with panties to match until you grow a pair.”
This was it. The perfect moment that was described in the book. Thorax, armed with knowledge and the will, made his move. “Watch your mouth, missy!” He stepped closer with his chest sticking out. “Don’t mess with the bug, you dirty thug!”
Before his eyes, Aria turned from smug into shocked. “W...what?”
Thorax couldn’t believe that worked. The book’s advice was already providing him an edge over the siren. From what he remembered, he needed to keep up the pressure to display his dominance. “There ain’t no begging the changeling! You need to watch your mouth, or your life is gonna go south! Now you are going to obey my command, or else-”
Thorax placed another glob of slime on his swollen eye, loudly whimpering as he rubbed it in. Thankfully despite how hard Aria could throw a punch, his slime could easily heal his bruise and the swelling was already going down, although it stung immensely. Clearly the book’s advice wasn’t going to get him anywhere and after feeling the siren’s wrath, he wasn’t sure what else he could do. The idea of failing his beloved queen on the first day made him want to cry, but he had to keep trying. He promised her he would help her, so he couldn’t live with letting her down. She would never forgive him if he gave up so easily to help his kind live in harmony with ponies.
Fortunately, he had an ace up his sleeve.
If friendship and intimidation were not the answer, then it was time for more extreme measures. After learning all he could from Twilight about trying to befriend the sirens, Thorax was smart enough to also consult Spike on the issue and the dragon taught him an emergency technique if things got hairy.
Seduction.
It was the ultimate weapon of his favorite hero. Spike’s silver tongue and irresistible charm had saved him from many predicaments before, such as distracting Nightmare Moon to allow Twilight to figure out the secret of the Elements of Harmony or wooing Chrysalis so Twilight could free Cadance and Shining Armor in order to defeat the invaders. Spike even told him that he was going to make a book called “Spike’s Five Simple Steps to Wow Your Mare” to share his secrets of amore with the world. Clearly Spike had tried something with these three before as it appeared Sonata was so infatuated with him already. It made sense for him to try this next as Chrysalis was won over by her powerful love for Luna. If this didn’t work, nothing would.
Within the alleyway where he retreated, he once more donned the form of Crystal Hoof. Since it was so successful back during the love drive, he couldn’t possibly imagine how it could fail now. The question, however, was who would he try to woo? Adagio was the obvious first choice as she was the leader. Deep down, Thorax knew it was also because she was the most beautiful. If Thorax somehow won her over, than her underlings would no doubt be unable to do anything without her. Smiling, Thorax skipped toward the entrance of the alley until another thought occurred to him. Didn’t her being leader mean that she was the evilest of the three?
His eagerness pulled a sudden vanishing trick and the changeling found himself unable to take another step forward. No doubt if he tried to seduce Adagio, she would turn the tables and seduce him instead, bringing him to the side of evil. There was no doubt she could use looks alone to bring him to his knees. With her off the list, that left two more. Aria, obviously, was out of the question, which left only Sonata. She seemed like the nicest, even if she wasn’t the brightest, so maybe this would work out after all.
Exploring the streets of Canterlot filled with so many ponies and changelings, he soon found the Dazzlings on the sidewalk with Aria and Sonata each carrying a bag of clothes for their leader. Picking up the pace, Thorax rehearsed in his head how he would swoon the siren. Once he was close enough, he said, “Hello!”
They turned around and seemed to be surprised to see him. “Uh, hi?” replied Adagio.
“I saw you girls perform earlier and I was moved! Your voices are as beautiful as you are!”
“Oh?” Adagio fluffed her mane and grinned at him. “You liked our show?”
“Absolutely! I have been in this city for one day and you three were easily the best thing I’ve seen!” He stepped closer despite his gut ordering him not to. “I just had to meet you for myself.”
“We always appreciate our fans.” To hear Aria speak in such a friendly voice was almost alien to Thorax. “So do you want an autograph or something? Right now, you can get one for free for being so bold.”
“Thank you, but I just wanted to know her name.”
Aria and Adagio looked at Sonata, who seemed taken aback. “Me? I’m Sonata Dusk!”
“Sonata,” the changeling repeated in his most soothing voice. “Such a lovely name. I’m sure the pony herself is even more lovely.”
Aria loudly gagged and turned around. “Okay, time to go. I think I’m going to puke.”
Adagio jumped between Thorax and Sonata. “Hello? Do you need your eyes checked or something!?”
Sonata walked around her. “You think I’m cute!?” She nervously giggled with a blush on her face. “You’re kind of cute, too. Well, for a pony, anyway.”
Thorax took both of Sonata’s hooves with their eyes locked. “My name is Crystal Hoof. I’m a poet from the Crystal Empire.”
“A poet?” she asked, almost breathless. “That’s like the most romantic job in the world! Even more than pool boy and pizza delivery guy!
“Yes it is. Your name, Sonata, also rhymes with...with...uh…” Thorax bit his lip. How did Zecora never have this problem? “...Enchilada?”
“Enchilada?” Adagio repeated as she continued fluffing her mane. “That’s so-”
“Romantic!” Sonata’s face grew pink and she booped her nose against Thorax’s. “You’re so amazing and know all the right words! We should totally go out!”
Aria turned to them with a look of irritation. “Wow, Sonata. Do you not come with any brakes? You barely know the guy. Why don’t you go on and marry him already since you’re going this quick?”
“MARRY!?” they both cried, one happily and one not so much.
Unfortunately for Thorax, his fear was a drop of blood in the sirens’ ocean. Aria and Adagio exchanged sinister glances at each other, quietly cackling. “Oh, absolutely,” encouraged Adagio. “I mean he’s quite a catch, isn’t he?” Sonata eagerly nodded. “So what are you waiting for? You two should get hitched today.”
“TODAY!?” Thorax cried, bringing the attention of many residents passing by.
“That’s a great idea!” Sonata turned to Adagio, sniffling. “Dagi, will you be my best mermare?”
The yellow siren patted her on the head. “I would be delighted.”
“Better get a move on,” said Aria deviously. “Looks like your fish is trying to swim away.”
Sonata looked dead into his eyes, her pupils shaped like hearts, and marched toward him. “Crystal Hoof! Take me as your bride!”
Thorax could only back away with his eyes locked on the lovestruck siren. Flying would have been the obvious way out, but he was too mortified to consider it. “Sonata, this is all so sudden! We don’t even have a wedding dress for you! You can’t get married without one!” At that very moment, they were walking past a bridal shop with many beautiful wedding dresses on display. Without breaking eye contact, Sonata’s hoof crashed through the window and stole one of them, throwing it on herself in an instant. “A-a-and rings! We don’t have anything to symbolize our love!”
“Wedding ring sizing!” called a mare from a stand behind Thorax. “Get your wedding ring or bangle sized today just so you’re ready for your big moment!” As Sonata walked next to it, she slammed her hoof on the counter. Two bangles flipped into the air, one landing perfectly around her foreleg and the other caught in her tail. She suddenly launched it toward the changeling, who held up his forelegs to defend himself, only for it to land around his hoof.
Looking at his new accessory caused more sweat to pour from his head. “This is crazy! Where are we even going to get married on such short notice!?”
“Flimflam Brother’s instant Las Pegasus style weddings are going out of business!” announced Flim. With his brother, they stood in front of a grassy area in Canterlot with a wedding set already ready to go, complete with dried roses, a wedding cake falling apart, chairs covered with leaves and dirt, and a stained white rug that led from the entrance right to the altar. In the corner were small neon signs that occasionally lit up, purchased directly from Las Pegasus gift shops to give their set up cost effective appeal.
“Our first lucky customer can get the wedding of their dreams right now for free,” called Flam. “Hope you don’t mind stale cake and wilted flowers! It’s not totally glamorous, but it’s free for the first couple!”
Flim looked around before finally noticing the approaching couple. “Oh! Here comes one now! Make a big scene so we can rope in some suckers and kick off our instant divorce court later!” Flim pressed a button on the radio, playing organ music at almost full blast as they went up to the altar. Adagio and Aria were in stitches as they took their seats in the front row. It wasn’t long until the two of them began singing along to the music.
“Here comes the bride,
All dressed in white!
Here comes the groom,
Preparing for his doom!”
Many ponies and changelings overheard the music and approached, all eager to see a wedding take place (or to get free food). It was a packed house as Thorax bumped into Flam, finally ending his backwards trek. “Ready for the big day?”
“N-n-no! I-I-I don’t even have a suit!” Before he could even blink, the other unicorn threw a blue tuxedo over him and held up a mirror.
“Not bad, eh? Compliments of Mr. Hoity Toity, but it’s only a rental!” He then tossed Sonata a bouquet of dead flowers and she grinned as shot caught it.
“So beautiful!” A blinding flash left Thorax in a daze as a blue earth pony with thick purple glasses snapped a photo. “Not as good as mine, but it fills me with so much joy! Young love is so precious!”
Flim opened a book on the podium and began reading. Thorax couldn’t process a single word he said with everything going on. This couldn’t be happening. He tried one thing to attempt friendship and look where he was. His hopes of getting married to someone wonderful like Queen Nymph was…
Actually, that was stretching it. He wasn’t worthy of her.
Princess Twilight?
She wasn’t into dating.
Rarity?
Over Spike’s dead body.
Anyone who wasn’t Sonata Dusk?
Most definitely.
As his life was closing the curtains around him, he had one final thought. His only regret was that he did not realize his mistake from the first time and now, he blew it. A fatal error that he of all changelings should have known by now.
Crystal Hoof was too sexy for this world.
“Do you, young lady, take this chump to be your husband?” asked Flim.
“I do! I have been dreaming of this moment since we first met!” Her two bandmates were laughing harder, but no one minded them, mistaking their laughter for bawling as their friend was getting married.
“That wasn’t even ten minutes ago!”
Flim bent down and nudged Thorax. “Isn’t love just something? And do you take this desperate broad to be your wife?”
Thorax gulped as he looked dead into the eyes of his bride. Sonata wept tears of joy and it was nearly enough to keep him from saying no. At the moment, Thorax contemplated a married life with Sonata. Sure, she was an evil being from the ocean, but perhaps she had a nicer side. She was clearly very interested in this wedding and he was certain that this was not a trick. Maybe the two of them could work together to help reform Adagio and Aria. Maybe he could make a living writing about siren culture and history. Maybe he…
...should stop trying to convince himself that this was a good idea.
With great effort, Thorax broke his trance and unleashed his magic. He reverted back to his true form, shocking everyone around him. “YOU!?” Sonata gasped.
“How does this keep getting better!?” Aria managed to ask in between laughs.
“I think I know,” Adagio said before laughing.
Loud murmuring erupted around the bride and groom, turning this happy moment into a very unsettling one. “Sonata, listen. It was an acci-”
“You were trying to trick me into marrying you!?” She threw the bouquet right in his face. “You are the worst! The worst of the worst! I hate you!” The siren charged her groom to rapidly beat her hooves against him. “IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou!”
“That’s changelings for you,” Adagio said loudly as she strolled up to the altar. “They only pretend what you want them to be long enough for them take something from you.” She held out her hooves and Sonata dove into them. As she comforted her, Adagio looked directly at her audience. “Looks like they ruined yet another wedding in Canterlot. Who is safe from their trickery?”
“What a jerk!”
“They’re no different from Chrysalis!”
“Hey! This guy has nothing to do with us!”
“Yeah! We should stop fighting each other and teach him a lesson together!”
The angry mob slowly approached and Thorax trembled. He didn’t even notice that the Dazzlings had already slipped away. Before the angry ponies and changelings could get to him, Flim and Flam stood before them. “Good people of Canterlot!” cried Flam. “Stop yourselves at once!”
The groom exhaled relief. “Thank-”
“For five bits, you can get a piece of cake or other wedding decorations to throw at the changeling who broke that poor mare’s heart!” announced Flim. “For ten bits, you can get your picture taken as you deliver retribution! Makes for an interesting conversation during parties!”
The mob reached into their bags and pockets to throw bits at the brothers. They then grabbed everything they could and readied that themselves as the two unicorns stepped aside. “Perfect! Now smile for the camera!” Once the camera flashed, Thorax’s pupils shrunk to nothing as wedding decorations rained upon him.
Somehow, Thorax managed to escape from the enraged crowd amongst their frenzy. In the mess of chairs, tables, flowers, and cake, he took cover and changed into a random pony to escape the rampage. His body was sore, but it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as he dignity. He was a mess, covered with small bruises and cake bits. He took a piece of cake off himself and ate it in attempt to comfort himself.
The cake was horribly stale.
At the palace, the guards just looked onward, paying him no attention as he went past. It was a long walk to his room and unfortunately, he came across a familiar face. “Thorax?” Luna ran and picked him up in her hooves. “What happened to you? Did you happen to be nearby while Celestia ran wild in a bakery?”
“No...I don’t wanna talk about it.” It didn’t take much effort for him to be free from her. With his head hanging, he kept on walking, but soon realized he wasn’t going anywhere. Luna’s magic was holding him in place as she stepped in front of him.
“It was the sirens, wasn’t it?” He groaned as the shame kept pouring down on him. “Oh goodness. They are more troubling than I had assumed. Perhaps I shall teach them a lesson in respecting authority.”
“Don’t. It was all my fault.” Thorax no longer had any strength left and flopped onto the floor. “I guess Nymph is going to fire me and I have to tell my friends that I am a complete failure.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself.” Luna teleported them to her bedroom, magically cleaned him off, and sat him on her bed. “Now Thorax, tell me exactly what happened.”
Reluctantly, Thorax explained his brief moment with the troublesome trio and the various methods he employed to befriend them. As he continued his story, he realized each idea was dumber than the last and he felt so ashamed for thinking them up in the first place. When he finished, he just laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “What am I going to do? Nymph’s counting on me and those girls are too much for me to handle. I don’t think anyone can tame those beasts.”
“Nonsense. You keep thinking them as powerful sirens, but as of now, they are no different from regular ponies.” Luna magically brought over a picture of herself and Chrysalis as Cherub. “Chrysie was very difficult to connect with for a while, long before I knew who she was. She did open up time to time and we grew close, despite her revenge plot. In the end, it was the friendship I gave her that won her heart.” She returned the picture back to its place. “The point, Thorax, is that you are trying way too hard to get them to respect you. You just need to do the simplest option, which was what you tried first: offer friendship. Those sirens will take more than a day to have them like you, trust me. They will resist, but if you continue offering them care and support, they too will open up in time.”
“But what should I do? They already hate me.”
“For starters, you need to stand up for yourself.” She lifted Thorax off the mattress and made him sit up. “Certainly not like what you did with Aria, but you cannot let them bully you. You need to remember that you are their superior. They answer to you. As much as they may frighten you, remember this: They have twice failed their grand schemes and have suffered great each time. You, on the other hoof, have made good friends and have been given a duty of great responsibility. That makes you easily better than them. Simply be yourself and perhaps when they begin driving each other away, they might find you as a source of comfort.”
Thorax’s body was no longer weighed down by his burden and he got onto his hooves. “Wow. Thanks, Princess.” He jumped off the bed. “I guess I better go apologize to Sonata.” Heading for the door, he had a sudden thought of them tearing him limb from limb for breaking her heart. “Princess Luna? Could you, I don’t know, if it’s not too much trouble...apologize for me?”
The alicorn shook her head. “I cannot do that. If it is truly your wish to become the watcher of the Dazzlings, then you must be able to deal with them on your own. It is you that they must learn to respect.” The sudden thought of dealing with the sirens again on his own made Thorax’s bladder feel heavier. “I can offer you some advice, however. They must learn that there are consequences to their actions and you can use this against them. Remind them of the last two times they tried something. And no matter what happens, don’t be afraid of them. We will never let anything happen to you.”
“Too late.”
Luna flinched. “Well from now on, we won’t let anything happen to you. Just try not to do anything crazy like insult Aria. You’re not doing yourself any favors with that sort of behavior.” Luna opened her bedroom door and looked back at him. “Good luck.”
Thorax stared at the dim ceiling once Luna closed the door behind her. Was this how the princess slept? Living in night while it was day outside? As odd as it seemed, it did provide him with a sense of tranquility. He knew he was going to have to confront them soon, but he didn’t know if he had the courage. Each one struck fear into his heart and there was no possible way for him to stand against the three together. They were beasts of evil and hatred while he was just an average changeling. What chance did he have? All he was good at was looking at gems, writing, and probably tricking others.
Perhaps he should consider Luna’s advice on friendship and try remaining nice to them. Even if they pushed him around, he needed to be the better changeling. However, he did need to think of something to keep them off his back. Clearly they weren’t afraid of punishment as they wasted no time to insult him or even punch him, so he needed a new idea. All he had to do was answer a question.
What did the Dazzlings hate more than anything in the world?
“So are we getting a refund on our wedding gifts? I mean, the free energy was nice and all, but I spent a lot of bits on your perfect dream wedding.” A pillow then flew across the room and struck Aria in the face, which didn’t bother her at all.
“Shut up!”
“Come now, Sonata,” Adagio chuckled. “What did you expect from trying to marry a guy you didn’t even know for ten minutes? There’s desperate, and then there’s that. Honestly, I am quite shocked you never ended up getting married back in Chantlantis after your display today.”
“Seriously. What was the plan if you did get hitched? Rent a motel room and-”
“I don’t wanna talk about it it anymore!” Sonata rolled the other way on her bed to face the wall. “I just wanna kick his butt!”
“Don’t worry. We’ll take care of him if he somehow survived.” Standing on a stool, Aria placed a bucket full of water on top of the ajar door. “Always a classic. Just be quiet until he comes.”
“What if Nymph or Celestia come in instead?” asked the former bride, peeking over her shoulder.
“Then that makes it funnier,” Adagio answered with an viscious grin.
The next few minutes passed in silence. Sonata sulked on her bed while hugging a pillow, Aria laid on hers while staring at the ceiling, and Adagio sat in front of the mirror, brushing her mane. “G-girls?” They looked toward the door, finding Thorax’s blue eye peeking through. “Can I come in? I want to talk to Sonata.”
“No!”
“Now, now, Sonata,” said the dazzling leader. “We should hear what he has to say. Why don’t you step on in, Thorax?”
Each siren eagerly watched the door as it slowly opened. Right as Thorax came into view, he was assaulted by water before the bucket landed right over his head. Panicking, Thorax ran around in circles before running into a wall and hitting the floor. The three singers burst out laughing at the fallen changeling as he slowly took off the bucket. “That was so worth it!” laughed Aria as she clutched her sides.
“Serves you right for breaking my heart!”
Tossing the pail aside, Thorax shivered as he got up. “I guess I deserved that.” A pillow then flew straight into his face.
“And you deserved that, too!”
Adagio sat on the edge of her bed, looking at Thorax with devious delight. “So why has our little keeper come back? Perhaps you still wish to be our friend? Maybe your queen sent you to fix your mistakes?”
“I came to apologize.” Thorax looked over to Sonata, who tightly clung to a pillow as she stared at him with contempt. “I’m sorry I tricked you. I was just trying to find a way to make you girls like me and I just had a really dumb idea.”
“I’ll never forgive you! You totally made me think you were the love of my life and now I look like an idiot!”
“Which is different how?” asked Aria.
“Tone it down,” commanded Adagio. “Poor Sonata is having a bad day.”
Taking a deep breath, Thorax looked toward Aria. Although she looked bored on the outside, he knew full well of the fury that dwelled deep within. “And Aria, I’m sorry I acted like such a jerk.”
“Whatever. I know we’re stuck with you, so if you stay out of my way and keep your mouth shut, we’ll get along just fine.”
Adagio smirked at her backup singer and then pointed to the door. “Now that you’re done, you can go ahead and leave.”
“But don’t you want your apology gifts?”
The Dazzlings immediately became alert. “Gifts? You got us gifts!?” Sonata asked eagerly in a tone completely opposite of her mood just a minute ago.
“Probably some changeling trash,” said Aria as Thorax stepped out of the room. “What do you think a guy like him could possibly-” Her words were lost when he returned with a full tray of sushi on his back. “No way.”
“I-I hope you like it.” Thorax set it down on the carpet. “I kinda thought that since you all come from the ocean, maybe you girls liked eating fish.” They got off their beds and looked hungrily at the colorful variety of rolls laid before them. Eel, shrimps, tuna, yellowtail, and several other fish were neatly packed onto several little plates. “Princess Luna was kind enough to help me pay for it and I hope this makes up for today.”
“We’ll see.” Adagio laid on the floor and took a pair of chopsticks and the other sirens did the same. However, they struggled immensely to hold them in their hooves before ultimately tossing them aside and grabbing a roll by hoof. After dipping it in soy sauce, Adagio bit her roll and shivered happily. “I have missed this so much.”
“I guess you’re good for something after all,” commented Aria.
“I kinda forgive you, so better keep being nice to me!” Smiling, Sonata stuffed her cheeks with rice and fish.
It took only about five minutes for the sirens to wipe out the entire tray. Even with Adagio and Aria trying to look civilized as they ate, their speed was incredible. Once the final bite was taken, Adagio wiped her mouth off with a napkin. “Well, Thorax, I suppose you have proven yourself to be a valuable servant to us.”
“I am not a servant,” he argued. “I just wanted to give a peace offering so that we could start over. I know it sounds crazy, but I still hope we can be friends.”
“Friends?” taunted Aria. “With a weenie like you? Yeah. Sure. Let’s all frolic in the fields of friendship!”
“Where’s that? That sounds super fun!” Sonata became confused when Aria's head slammed onto the tray.
“Sorry, but we’re not interested in your offer.” Adagio stood up and laid on her bed, making herself comfortable as she held her condescending look on the changeling. “Why don’t you run along now before Aria teaches you another lesson?”
The sight of Aria staring at him nearly made Thorax run out of the room, but he held his ground. “Could you at least try being nice to me?”
Adagio was unable to hold back her laughter. “Can you believe him? He thinks that he can tell us sirens what to do. I don’t know if it’s funny or sad.”
“Maybe it’s both!” teased Sonata.
“Give us one good reason we should act nicer,” asked Aria, highly amused. “Go on, tough guy. We’re all ears.”
“If you don’t treat me better, I will have to use my last resort.” Thorax paused to build up dramatic tension and hoped this was going to work. “I’ll quit.”
The Dazzlings remained silent for only about two seconds until they exploded into laughter and Thorax felt so stupid, but he had to keep it up. “Wow! That’s certainly a threat!” said Adagio as she struggled to breathe. “Truly an original one!”
“The poor little baby will have to run back to his mommy! Whatever shall we do?” taunted Aria.
Thorax blushed intensely as they continued mocking him. “I don’t think you get it. If I’m not here to watch you three, that means they will have to get somepony else to do it.”
“Oh?” Adagio laid her head on her hooves and directed a teasing grin at Thorax. “Such as who?”
“Twilight Sparkle.”
In an instant, the room felt as if it was entirely coated in frost. Before Thorax’s eyes, Adagio’s calm and taunting face steadily transformed into one of anger and it often convulsed as the burning fury within begged for release. The other sirens were well aware of her change and looked worriedly to each other. “Twilight...Sparkle?”
Thorax nodded as he stepped back. “That’s right. Which means you will have to serve directly under her.”
“Not a chance,” argued Aria while taking occasional glances at Adagio.
“Sorry, but I don’t make the rules. Also, because Twilight never has servants, we’d have to change up your backstories a bit. You would also have to pretend to be...her friends.” The heat emanating from the golden siren was becoming intense. “And Adagio, you would have to say Twilight Sparkle is your...best friend. Maybe even your BFF.” Adagio was practically huffing flames at this point. “And she’d probably change your band name, too. How does Twilight Sparkle’s Twinkling Stars sound?”
Aria and Sonata quickly took cover behind their beds and before Thorax found a hiding spot, Adagio jumped onto the floor. He found himself unable to take another step as Adagio’s eyes kept him petrified while she came closer. Despite the enchantment that kept Adagio’s emotions hidden, Thorax could feel the intense anger directed toward him. With so little room between them, Thorax laid on the floor and whimpered as Adagio stood over him, ready to do whatever horrible thing she had in mind. Silence extended for over a minute before she finally spoke. “So it’s either you...or her.”
“It’s up to you,” Thorax replied in nearly a whisper.
Finally, Adagio turned away and allowed Thorax a few seconds of respite before she turned around grabbed the top of his head to hold him up. “You’re not our keeper. You are our servant. You will do what we say when we say it. If you do a good job, maybe I will consider treating you just a little better. Are we clear, Thorax?”
“Y-yes, Adagio.” She dropped him and entered the bathroom, slamming the door shut. Once they heard the cold shower running, Thorax looked at Sonata and Aria. The utter fear in their faces, especially Aria’s, gave him a surge of confidence. “I suggest you two start behaving as well. Would either of you like to face Adagio if you do something that makes her have to pretend to be Twilight’s best friend?” The sirens quickly shook their heads. “Good. Have a nice day.”
With his head held high, Thorax proudly walked out of their bedroom. “I did it! I really did it!” He laughed out loud and bounced around as if he was Pinkie Pie. “Nymph is going to be so proud of me! I put those girls in their place!” He no longer bounced and his smile was slipping away. “The look on Adagio’s face was priceless! She looked ready to have a heart attack!” His pace slowed to a crawl while sweat coated his shivering body. “I must have been crazy to say all that stuff right in her face! Who knows what she would have done to me!” It wasn’t long until his pounding heart, cold sweat, and trembling legs caused him to fall over. The hallway was filled with the sound of trying to breathe as he struggled to keep calm. “I could have died! Adagio could have smashed me right then and there! What was I thinking talking to her like that!?”
As he laid on the carpet in the middle of the hall, he could hear voices from around the corner. He tried to get on his hooves so he could avoid raising questions, but he did not have the energy to do so in time. “Thorax!” Nymph came sprinting over to him with Chrysalis right behind her. The queen picked him up and tightly hugged him, further adding to his problem of needing air. “What happened!? What did those horrible girls do to you!?”
“Nothing!” He tried freeing himself, but she had enough strength to make Big Mac cry uncle. “I just tripped!”
Chrysalis patted Nymph on the shoulder and she released him. “So where are the Dazzlings? Lulu told me you were having some difficulties with them.”
“Not anymore.” Thorax stood up and smiled. “We came to an understanding and they promised to go easier on me. I made real progress with them today.”
Nymph giddily clapped her hooves. “Wonderful, Thorax! I knew you were the perfect changeling for the job.” She then turned to her sister, looking less happy. “I’m sure you feel silly now making bets with Rainbow Dash about him!”
“W-what bets?”
Chrysalis rubbed the back of her head. “We were betting on how long you would last with them. Rainbow Dash gave you five days.”
He gulped. “And how many did you say I would last?”
“...Two? B-but I’m so glad you have proved us wrong! It’s not that I think poorly of you or anything! I just know those sirens are a real problem and thought they would overwhelm you! Heck, I’m sure most ponies wouldn’t have lasted one day with-”
“Chrysie, you are talking too much.”
The older changeling blushed and looked away. “I’ll...go see what Luna is up to. Forget anything I said.” Chrysalis turned around and walked off with haste.
Thorax was too focused on watching the former queen who defeated Celestia herself retreat like an embarrassed child to notice Nymph stroking the top of his head. “I knew I made the right choice picking you. For doing such an excellent job on your first day, I feel that providing you with some sort of reward would be most appropriate. How about I take you out into the city-”
“NO!” Thorax scrambled a short distance away from the startled queen. “I mean, no thank you. I’m just so tired from keeping up with the Dazzlings that going outside will just tire me out more or something. I want to go lie down and call it a night.” He stretched and feigned a yawn. “Long day, you know?”
“Oh. Very well then. You deserve some rest. I’ll write a letter to Twilight to inform them of your excellent progress.” Nymph playfully pulled on his cheek. “They will be as proud of you as I am.” Thorax could not help but blush as she walked away. “Have a nice evening, Thorax.”
“You too.” Once he was alone, Thorax walked at a steady pace back to his room, although he had to stop a few times to remember where he was in the palace. When he finally found his room, the first thing he did was lie on the bed and relish in the immense comfort it provided.
His time in Equestria had to be more eventful than his entire life in the Changeling Kingdom. While Pharynx was back in Changelingville keeping patrol for any potential danger, Thorax made friends with Queen Nymph and the Equestrian Princesses and now had a duty that his brother would have killed for. Thorax turned to the nightstand to look at his book, smiling as he thought about what future adventures he would record for all changelings to read.
If he survived to tell the tale, of course.