//------------------------------// // Episode 5: The Return of Condiment Head! // Story: Life at Canterlot High // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// I just had to be early to class didn't I? I couldn't have just been 1 minute before the bell like everyone else for once, nooo I had to be early trying to make some manga time! I know I told Twilight I could handle whatever Sunset could send my way, and I still could. The physical bullies are always the easiest to deal with since they mostly try to act tough. You just ignore them and they'll leave you alone after awhile. So Sunset herself wasn’t exactly a huge problem, I was just more annoyed that it was only the second day of school and I had to deal with her stupid attempts right after getting in trouble with Ms. Harshwhinny when all I wanted to do was read. "Well well well, if it isn't the school’s newest pariah. I should have known I would have you in one of my classes." Really? Are you kidding me? You go for something as clichéd as the 'well well well' villain intro? I'm sorry but you’re supposed to be a top tier bully right? "Wh-what!? What's with the look you little pest!?" she asked in response to my annoyed look. Ignoring her I just walked past her and took a seat in the middle of the back row. I would have gone for one of the back corners, but Sunset had claimed the one on the left and Twilight the one on the right. Weird, I figured Twilight would be the kind to sit at the front. Wait a minute, I suddenly panicked, What if this teacher already assigned seats? That could explain why she's all the way in the bac- *Slam* "I wasn't done talking to you,” Sunset emphasized after slamming her palms on my desk. "Really Condiment Head, that's the best you can do? Slam my desk real hard and say such a clichéd line? What are you a Saturday morning cartoon villain?” I asked in monotone, completely ignoring her attempts to act tough. To this, she actually growled at me. And when I say growl, I mean it, with bared teeth and all like a freaking animal. I gotta give her points for that, because it actually did surprise me "Do not call me that! My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I'd advise you remember that before you make me really angry." "What happens then? You turn green and smash the place? I wouldn’t mind seeing that," I mocked as I got out my text books. That generated some chuckles from the not so subtle eavesdroppers that had been watching since Shimmer walked up to me. Twilight of course was one of them, and all the others were doing a piss poor job of trying to hide the fact they were watching. Seriously Twilight? Sticking your head into a textbook while leaning super close to us? And what's that hippie looking guy doing hiding behind a potted plant of all things? Amateur hour I swear, I rolled my eyes at their “stealthiness.” I could gleam an argument from across the room when I was 10 and make it look like I was reading. Turning my attention back to Sunset she managed to regain her composure and was no longer baring her fangs. Another point for ya Shimmy, keeping calm is a key point in being a physical type bully after all. "Look, unless you want me to start spilling your little secret for everybody here then you best start showing me some respect, got it?" Now that caught my attention, not because she was going to start spewing whatever false information the Dazzlings’ cooked up, but more so that she bothered to bring it up in the first place. A physical and rumor mill bully hybrid, that's new! Gotta admit I'm a bit impressed Sunset, you manage to pull two stereotypes in one! I let out a chuckle at my mental jab at Sunset, which seems wasn't the best option with this new bully hybrid. "And what's so funny? You think I won’t?” she asked with hands on hips. Being the ever blunt person I am I said, "No, no, I believe you would. I was just laughing at how you honestly think I care about what any of these people think about me,” I said bluntly, straight and to the point. “Look at ‘em all eavesdropping and not doing a damn thing. They already don’t care about me, so why should I care what they think? Go ahead and hit me with your best shot, see what I care.” Sunset actually looked shocked that I said that, which isn't really that surprising considering how submissive these students were to their bullies. Still, from how I spoke, she acted as though I was the first to speak up to her like that. A couple of the eavesdroppers even gasped and some looked guilty over my calling them out, which made me mentally chuckle. "You know what fine, if you don't care then I might as well tell everyone here your dirty little secret." "Please do,” I said as I opened up my manga and looked at the pages. “I bet these gossipers are dying to know.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Sunset smirk evilly, like an actual super villain would. I was only joking about that. Does she actually think that works? "Alright fine,” she said in determination. “I heard the reason you moved was because you beat down some guy pretty viciously over a dumb video game. Not so high and mighty as you like to appear huh?" Cue collective gasp in 3,2,- *Gasp* Ah, I love being right when timing things. I put down my book and turned to face Sunset who wore a victorious smirk. A part of me didn’t even want to bother correcting Sunset’s little rumor because it would make everyone leave me the hell alone 24/7. A bigger part of me though knew that being known as the quiet psychopath that would kick your ass over menial things wasn’t good either. The last thing I need is Mom hearing that and nagging me about being a delinquent or something, I reasoned. With a tired sigh I looked Sunset right in her eyes and responded, “I don’t know, I’m sure that when you see some jerkass steal a game from a crying little kid you'll just let them walk on by. I on the other hand am not you so..." *Gasp* "Wha-what!” Sunset’s eyes widened in surprise at my ploy. “That didn't happen. There's no way that's what happened!" “Well you would know since you were there…Oh right, no you weren’t. I was,” I mocked. “I was pretty sure the dude robbed the kid and I reacted. And really, whoever you heard that from is exaggerating, I didn’t beat the guy down, I just kicked him where the sun don’t shine and he crumpled.” A few male groans responded to that, and Shimmer took the bait. “No you didn’t! I know for a fact that’s not true” she insisted. Hook. Line. and Sinker "Oh really? I don’t remember you being there,” I joshed. "You weren’t there either!” “Why? Because you made it up?” “Yes you stupid-“ *Gasp* I couldn't help but chuckle as Sunset’s enraged expression slowly morphed into one of embarrassment at her little scheme being undone. Of course me being me I couldn't resist adding salt to the wound. “And that, you nosey spectators, is what salty ketchup and mustard looks like,” I gestured towards her face. Sure enough, her embarrassment turned to rage, and her yellow face became beet red. *Bringggggggggggggg* The bell went off, and my fellow students began shuffling to their seats lest they earn the wrath of the teacher, and Sunset sent me one last glare before saying, "This isn't over. Mark my words I will make you crack!" You are just full of clichés aren't you Condiment Head? Maybe I should come up with a new nickname to match your wannabe villainisms. And with that I went back to reading my manga hidden in my textbook and ignoring the world around me, especially the prying eyes of one Twilight Sparkle. *Bringggggggggggg* So our teacher never showed up, and according to the sub it was due to some experiment gone wrong at his place or something. Personally I don't think anyone doing private experiments at home that can keep you from doing your job should be doing said experiments but what do I know? The last job I had ended with a huge bonfire of the stores merchandise. Ahh....good times. Anyway since the actual teacher never showed up the substitute just told us to do whatever we wanted till the period was over with. Now I'm not one to usually complain about not having to do any work at school, in fact I quite welcome doing nothing but reading manga for a solid 48 minutes. But I also have to point out that having this happen on the second day of school doesn't seem like the best school policy. But hey I'm not the one in charge so whatever. Sunset did try to bug me pretty much the entire period, but the power of manga can drown out all annoyances, even brightly colored red and yellow haired ones! I did damage her school image slightly so I guess that makes sense why she was so dead set, but at some point you should just take a hint. Once the period was over, I bookmarked my story, and avoided Sunset in the ensuing crowd. Now to just get through my next two classes and I'm home free to lunch, and this time I shall eat warm burger me-! "Wait, Michael!" Twilight’s sudden call almost made me trip and I stumbled. Hearing her nearing I contemplated making a run for it, but there wasn’t any room with everyone in the way. The last thing I was gonna do was push through the crowd and risk running into a jock who was more aggressive off the field than on again. Man that was a sucky month. Can still feel my jaw tingle when I see a varsity jacket. Shaking my head, I accepted my fate and turned to the home invader. When she finally caught up with me, I started walking again, with her by my side. "What do you need Twilight? And if you’re about to go on another tangent about how I handle bullies then don't even bother, trying to change my opinion is like trying to listen to Russell Crowe's singing on repeat; Impossible and highly aggravating." Twilight just gave me a confused look at my clever reference as it clearly sailed over her head. "Oh no no no no, I may not think what you’re doing is the best for you, but I can't just force you to change. I have a rather more...um embarrassing question." Red flag red flag! Abort and leave for a later awkward situation! For once ignoring my mind's justifiable advice to get out of dodge I instead asked, "And you want to ask the guy you've known for, oh, about a day who keeps telling you to leave him alone?" Twilight's cheeks reddened at my response, but she continued. "I know how it sounds, but I was just curious about that piece of literature you were reading during the free period." "Literature?” I raised my eyebrow at the phrasing, “Are you talking about my ma-" "Shhhhhhh! Do you want the teachers to know I'm interested in such un-educational material!?" I just gave Twilight a deadpanned glare as I removed her hand from my mouth. "First of all, don't do that. I've seen far too many rom-coms to know that stuff like that is how misunderstandings happen." Ignoring Twilight's embarrassed blush I continued, "Plus I don’t need to get sick on my first week of school. Secondly, you do know it’s okay to read things besides textbooks right?" "Of course I do!” she glared at me. “It's just that, well, manga isn't exactly...appropriate in a school environment." That actually got me to stop as my mind jumped to the most logical conclusion. "Umm…Look Twilight if you wanna read that kind of stuff that’s fine, but I’m not really into that. The stuff I read is more adventures and fighting, I don’t really enjoy the more lewd stuff, but if you do then fi-“ "NOT THAT KIND OF MATERIAL!" she shouted, which caused me to reel back. I actually had to check my ears to make sure my drums didn’t burst. She was a neurotic home invader with a good pair of lungs, I’ll give her that. After my ears stopped ringing I looked around us to see a lot of the students looking our way. Uh oh, too much attention has been drawn. Better end this quick before Twilight gets caught up in the rumor mill. Taking out my manga from class I shoved it into Twilight’s hands. "Look whatever your aversion is with reading manga in school is all you. This is the first issue of My Hero Academia. Enjoy it because it’s awesome. If there’s so much as a tear, I’ll make sure you pay,” I threatened. “Wh-What?” she said taken aback. “It cost me 20 bucks because it’s special edition. You break it, you buy it,” I clarified. “Now if you’ll excuse me I gotta get to class.” And with that I booked it down the hall, leaving a very confused Twilight behind. LATER, AT LUNCH Nothing much happened during my math and science classes, aside from seeing Pinkie’s cowgirl and fashion obsessed friends, but we didn’t talk so it was semi fine. Honestly at this rate I'll be surprised if I don't have Pinkie and her other friend in my other classes, I thought sourly as I walked to lunch. Did Pinkie somehow coordinate this? Did she somehow get a hold of mom and concoct some plan to make me have a social life? Mom did visit this place before I arrived… I shook my head from these conspiracy theories; they didn’t sit well with my empty stomach. When I reached the lunch room, I managed to grab my burger and book it to the school yard before Pinkie could even have a chance to drag me off, or for the Dazzlings to try something. I settled down in the perfect shade from the tree from yesterday and sat admiring the perfect hamburger which was at the perfect tempature. Now to just pick it up and eat i- "Hey, you actually came back!" Oh god dang it! I should have known I was taking too long! Curse you comedic timing! Sighing and looking up I saw the light blue blonde girl from the day before. She was smiling brightly and both of her eyes were focused on me, for a few seconds at a time anyway. Uh....I wanna say Ditzy? You know I completely forgot about her...Oh hell she thinks we're friends doesn’t she?!