//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Would You Like Some Tia? // Story: Spiked Donuts // by TRIBOT 4000 //------------------------------// Business was booming. Well, maybe not booming, but at the very least it was a firecracker. I've never been the type to waste money, so saving up had never been problem. If I actually checked I'd probably be a millionaire right now. Why am I talking to myself about this? It's not going to change the facts, or alter the reality of what's happening. It will only delay the inevitable. Has time stopped for my little bit of inner monologue? "Hello Pony Joe. I've heard so much about you." No, it hasn't. Oh well, might as well not dwell on it too much. "Why thank you Princess. Good things I hope." yes, Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria, Banisher of Mooning Sisters, Greatest Celestial Being of all, was in my humble little shop. Maybe moving isn't such a bad idea. What am I saying? I don't wanna move! I'm freaking out!! "I want to thank you for not freaking out like other ponies. It tends to turn me off on going outside these days." "Sure thing. We are adults after all." Yeah sure. Let's compare the twenty-one year old stallion to an immortal being. Good job brain. Your doing great. I'm the body, your brain. Why are you making me do these things. Oh crud. I've broken myself. "I'll take a cake donut please." Don't say it! "What kind?" Oh no. "Excuse me?" I straightened my back, "Well, do you want plain or glazed?" "I thought a plain cake donut was just called a cake donut. Am I wrong?" Yes. No. "Yes." WHY!? "A cake donut is a category but you have to specify whether it's a plain or a glazed. Many ponies mistake the glazed cake donuts for original. This is however untrue. Donuts are a delicate instrument of flavor and surprise and cake donuts are no exception. they are in a category all their own as they do need frosting or glaze to enhance their tastefulness but can still be complimented. The old-fashioned doughnut is a type of cake doughnut, and has been described as a "subset" of the cake doughnut.It is unclear when the old-fashioned doughnut itself was invented, but this very likely occurred after the cake doughnut was invented. But to say to that the glazed cake donut and the old fashioned are the same isn't correct." ... "..." ... I didn't know that I knew that. How can we not know what we knew? You are literally the holder of all donut related information. I am part of the conscious part. My subconscious doesn't like to intervene when we're awake. Oh no. Sun Goddess is looking at strangely. She's probably plotting a way to destroy us for disagreeing with her. Well it's been nice knowing you body...well actually no it wasn't it. Anyway, I'm glad that we could exist. All those times we've had. even the one where you dropped an order on Fancy Pants. I'm so glad he was understanding. I'll see you la... "You know what? I like you. You're willing to tell me your thoughts without holding back out of fear for repercussions. I'm definitely going to frequent this place more often." Wait, what? "Thank you, your highness. Now, what kind of donuts would you like?" Hold on! "I'll take a plain cake donut please." WHAT HAPPENED?! "Right away your majesty." I don't get it. What happened? How did I handle that so well? You didn't. ...what? I'm sorry to break this to you but you are not the conscious part of the brain. Waitwaitwait... You are actually the subconscious. I've been talking to the conscious part of the brain separately, we just thought it be funny to mess you. Bye. Wait...no...NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!