Twilight stared at the three gathered in front of her apprehensively. She really hadn't wanted it to have come to this but she had absolutely no choice. The duty she was to delegate was of importance, and she didn't have time since she had to go up north to the Crystal Empire to help out her brother.
Alucard spoke up. "Well, mind telling us what we're here for? I got better things to do like take relaxing 'walks'."
"Dare I ask what those walks of yours hold?" Asked a certain draconequus
"Shooting, Sexual harassment, death, more shooting and pissing Anderson off."
Fluttershy just gave a meek 'eep' at the word death.
Twilight groaned. She wanted to reform Chrysalis herself, but duty called and the rest of the Elements were busy. The only one she could count on was Fluttershy and Discord, the latter who knew what it was like to finally have a friend. She only added Alucard in because she thought his sociopathic tendencies would deter the former Changeling queen from committing more evil lest she ends up like him!
Oh the horror!
"You know, you really should get a different hobby." Stated Discord.
"Alright!" Interrupted Twilight. "I gathered you here because I need your help."
The vampire smiled. "Say no more! Who's the lucky bastard to die?"
"WHAT! NO!" Twilight shouted angrily.
"Then why am I here?"
"Because, I need your help to reform someone."
Fluttershy spoke softly. "Um... no offence Twilight but I don't think that Alucard is the type to reform someone."
"I chose him because I think he might be a deterrent." Deadpanned the alicorn. "Who want's to end up like him?"
"Fair enough."
Twilight turned to Discord. "You're here because you knew what it was like to finally have a friend."
"Who are we reforming again?" Alucard asked impatiently.
"Queen Chrysalis."
Everyone was quiet; Alucard was because he hadn't a clue who she was. "Who?"
"Changeling Queen? Tried to take over Equestria?"
"Never heard of her."
Twilight nursed her head. "Look, just look after her and make her good. Also, please stay out of trouble."
"Greetings." came a voice from behind Twilight.
She turned around to see Chrysalis there.
"I am here to be... reformed." Said Chrysalis, making the last word sound foreign.
"Right. These three will help you, since I am needed up north." Twilight said, gesturing her hoof towards the group behind her. "Have fun!"
Three days later
Twilight stepped off the train in shock. The sight before her was unbelievable, indescribable and incomprehensible. She didn't think that Alucard had it in him, but she was proven wrong.
She flew into a rage. "ALUCARD!"
She would be having words on why the town of Ponyville is literally a giant pile of rubble.
In Twilight's castle, there was a room dedicated to the interrogation of thieves, spies and traitors. It was the classic table-in-the-room-with-a-single-light-above-it gimmick. She wanted to try and discover WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!
But Alucard was making this difficult.
"You know, add in a rack and some whips and you got a little sex dungeon." He had said to a blushing Twilight.
"Alucard... PLEASE focus! Now tell me what happened!!"
Flash back.
"So yeah, me Flutters, Chrysi and Discord were going about town, getting stuff and teaching her the ways of... Harmony and friendship.
I was busy telling her of my childhood... don't give me that look! I wasn't a raging vampire with a boner my whole life!
But yeah... she found it sad how I lost everything due to my brutal life, and how I was painted as a monster for my actions in my adult life. Then this schmuck comes out of nowhere and demands that we hand over Chrysi in the name of 'preserving peace, truth and justice... truth be told I told him to go fuck a nun.
Then his friends show up, but Pinkie then threw a 'Super Secret Cult Party' to celebrate them coming around and then us four left them to the mercy of that pink devil.
After a while, we saw the Major and his compadres and they were busy shooting at some other cultists..."
"Please stop." Interrupted Twilight. "Cultist? Come on... do you really think that I would believe that?"
"Ask your shy friend. She saw it."
"OK Major!" Snapped Twilight. "What happened?"
Flash Back.
"Well, it was three twenty in the afternoon when Alucard came by with three of his friends. Me and my fellow Millennials were busy creating a twelve ton bomb so that we may launch an invasion of Cloudsdale... Then we realized the bomb will pass right through and hit some one else... We may love killing but we don't do it willy nilly.
Alucard complemented it, saying that 'it's the biggest motherfucker he has seen since Hiroshima' and left after that. Then these weird ponies came along, tripped onto the bomb and blew us up... as well as kill over thirty ponies and reducing the town to rubble.
And that's about it."
Twilight was shocked. "So you're telling me that Alucard had nothing to do with this!?"
"Aside from turning Chrysalis to the side of good following his life story, he basically harmed no-one." Replied the Major.
Twilight sighed. "Can this day get anymore stressful?"
NEVER JINX YOURSELF KIDS!
Spike opened the door. "Uh... Twi? Celestia want's to talk to you, and you need to rebuild the town, and remove the house arrest from Alucard..."
Twilight groaned.