Chapter Seven: Here, Hold This
I woke up with Maud’s head nestled underneath my chest and her legs both wrapped around one of mine, her sex pressed against me, her warmth even warmer than I thought it could be. I was a little rosy around the cheeks when she woke up because I could feel her chest as well, and the combination of those things made sure that the morning wood was as tall as it could possibly get, and having her shift against my shaft on occasion made me a little nervous. I’ll never say that I’m good with physical intimacy, but I do like it, and having someone to wake up with was nice. Maud wasn’t far behind me, only about ten minutes or so, but I mostly just spent my time taking in her scent and enjoying her general presence instead of trying to cop a feel.
Maud pulled away from me and blinked some sleep out of her eyes. “Good morning, Epidote.”
“Good morning, Sleepy Dreamer.” I kissed her forehead. “How are you doing this- Oh!” She grabbed my sausage brazenly. “Er…Uh-huh-huh-huh, Isn’t it a little early for that?” I chuckled nervously.
Maud began worrying me a little more by kissing me along my jaw and pressing her wonderful chest against me. “Is it, though? Could we not make this a morning of passion?” She deadpanned.
“... Are you messing with me?” I asked, trying to keep the hope out of my voice.
She licked my neck and sent shivers down my spine. “Are you opposed to the idea?”
“... To be honest with you, I’m not exactly known for-”
“Hush. Experience matters little as long as you last longer than a few minutes.”
“Ah. Yeah, endurance isn’t a problem, it’s just that… Well- Oh~ Oh dear.” I murmured, surprised by her forwardness
She continued doing what she was doing and reached under my sleeping breeches, fondling me directly, which is what caused me to falter. “Well?”
“I-I-I just get nervous, you know? Heh-heh. Heh.” I chuckled weakly.
Maud stroked me softly, humming. “Be still and I will bring you pleasure, dearest Epidote. You will be pleased with the result.” She casually disentangled herself from my embrace and just as flippantly removed her knickers, dropping them on my face as she straddled me. They smelled a lot like she normally did, but slightly musky, not unlike a… Horse, I guess.
Equis is fuckin’ weird.
Anyway, I’m not exactly one to brag nor kiss and tell, so I’ll just say that Maud got what she wanted and I got the enticing experience of hearing someone climax in monotone, which was a rewarding endeavor. After a little bit, I got more into it, but Maud likes to be on top, and I don’t have a problem with that. Especially when she does that thing with her hips and rides in reverse… Oh my… Um… What was I talking about?
Scratch all that. We’re starting again.
After I gained a whole new appreciation for the glory of glutes, Maud went back to sleep and I went around to touch base with Frieda for the mission we had slated later in the night. I met her in her room after hearing some odd noises coming from inside, somewhat like strangled squawks, but it wasn’t my place to investigate, so I just knocked and waited for a couple minutes before taking a quick walk to give her time to finish with her ‘task’. There was a strange smell in the air and there were few females walking the halls, so I put two and two together and figured that it was Spring or something, and that the females were probably digging for dick. One of the females I’d passed, a Griffin woman, propositioned me and further cemented my supposition, but I turned her down because I’m not a fucking whore, and sleeping with two people in the same day? Whore shit. Not Garrison shit; that’s whore shit.
After I got done turning down what felt like a dozen women (Shit, it could’ve been for all I know. Not like I was counting.), I finally managed to circuit back around and get to Frieda’s room again. This time, she actually opened the door when I knocked and she just gave me a little smile. “Thanks for waiting. Figured locking the door would be enough to keep most people away, but I didn’t even hear you jimmy the knob.”
“I could kinda hear you.” I teased.
She shrugged. “Spring Heat hits everyone at some point. I’m surprised you’re not going crazy from the pheromones that get trapped down here like some guys do.”
I shrugged in turn. “I don’t really like sex, to be honest with you. I can definitely smell something on the air, but it’s not really changing my preferences at the moment, you know?”
Frieda clicked her beak twice. “Are you really saying that you wouldn’t give me a little kiss if I asked nicely?”
“I’d give you a peck, but not a legitimate kiss. I’m rather monogamous, and I doubt that’ll change, to be completely honest.”
She tapped the side of her beak. “Plant one right here then, Big Boy. If you’re brave enough, that is.”
I rolled my eyes at her, then had to pull my cowl down off of my head because she probably couldn’t see it. “You’re majestic and all, but you don’t look like me. Maud looks like me.”
“With the flat face and cute little nose? I guess, yeah. You’re the only thing that really looks like ponies, you know. Every other race has a beak or a muzzle.”
“Which is weird and makes me wonder how Dogs kiss.”
“They lick each other. Griffins just rub our beaks together or help each other preen, kind of like Pegasi. Fun fact if you ever leave Maud; Pegasi and Griffins both like wing massages. It could come in handy if you need to save your ass with a sexual favour.” Frieda chuckled.
“Right. Aside from your bullshit, how are you feeling about the mission, Frie-Frie?”
The corners of her beak turned upwards and her eyes settled into a throne of stone, cut specifically for them. “Sectus is as good as dead. I know the locale, but you know how to get us in, right?”
“How are your climbing skills?” I asked deviously.
“Subpar.” She answered honestly. “The only races that actually have good climbers are the Chimps and Cats. Cats are too sketchy to work directly against The Iron Crown since they’re fucking known for bailing when things barely start getting hairy, and the Howlers are really… They…” She rubbed the feathers of her brow. “They’re some weird fuckers. Top Dog’s said to be a Howler since they’re supposed to be the most intelligent race on the planet, but no one knows if it’s true.”
“I don’t know what a Howler is, to be honest. Who’s his Consigliere?” I asked.
“Someone no one knows about. Apparently between the Top Dog and Top Consig, they keep Equis turning with Aristocrats on their toes and our coffers getting filled deeper and deeper by the day. Tartarus, they’re supposed to be the scariest of the bunch at that.”
I shrugged. “I’m sure they’re smart enough to keep things running if they’ve been doing it this long already. So where are we going tonight?”
“North side of town in the Estate District. There’s going to be a lot more security than you’re used to with watchers on the rooftops and guards on the streets, but the alleys are where Bite-Back thrives anyway. I say we pop up in the Græcus Household and get to our target from there. If we show up in the basement, then we’ll-”
“Just get us to that point and I’ll take over for the rest. Trust me when I say that infiltration is a specialty of mine, and that if you don’t want to be seen, we won’t be. I’ll be trusting you and your Griffin eyes to spot any possible Watch-Dogs, so be on the look out.”
“Dogs have terrible eyesight. They’re about as good at picking things out at a distance
as Minotaurs, Sweetheart.”
I gave her a look. “Is Watch-Dog not a term here? It just means Lookouts.”
“Oh. Yeah, I’ll do that. Do you want to be the one to get Sectus, or can I have him?” Frieda asked excitedly.
“I have to take him. Pops’ orders.” I grumbled irritably.
“... How’s that one going?” She asked, dropping her tone.
“Tangerine has us set up. We’ll be ready to move tomorrow, should Sedd, Splashing Fluke, and Droll Day be ready that is.” I answered in a lower tone.
She nodded. “I’ll be sure to pitch in if you want. Where are we going?”
I whispered the location to her and she giggled as instructed. “Stop it, you fucking lecher!”
My face lit up at her accusation since I hadn’t been expecting it, but I still had time to slip on my Flash Face. “You know you want some, you dirty-birdie.”
She gave me some serious bedroom eyes and said, “Don’t tempt me.”
I chuckled nervously and looked away. “Right, so I’m just going to go back and see if Maud’s awake yet.”
Frieda chuckled and patted my arm. “Don’t get nailed, Sweetheart. I’ll see you in the evening.”
“... That sounds like I should be watching my arse.” I said carefully.
“You should. Some of the Bull-Buckers down here are known to lose control due to the pheromones.” Frieda said disinterestedly. “You’ll get help eventually, but eventually isn’t quick enough if you’re not good enough to kill them in the first place.”
“... Yeah.” I pulled my knife out and looked behind me. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
She smiled and went back into her room after saying, “Good luck, Sugarbutt.”
“Bite me, Peckerface.” I replied as she was closing her door.
That little aside aside, I got back to stepping and went back to Maud’s room, but when I got there, she was just getting out of the shower and happened to be getting dressed in the washroom. I only knew that because she invited me in and had me do the laces on the back of her dress for her, despite being fully capable of doing them herself. It gave me time to appreciate the details and contours of the musculature on her back, and when she turned around, I noticed that this dress in particular was a little shorter than the rest of her collection, and when I say a little, I mean a lot. When I actually looked down and saw that her toned calves were on display, I had to look up, but my eyes got stuck on her chest for a moment. I’ve seen women with more to show than Maud, but even with her ‘conservative’ style of dress, the minute amount of cleavage she was showing was more than a little interesting. Before I could realize what was going on, Maud gave me a smooch and sent me over the balustrade, making my nose bleed, despite me actually having laid her earlier in the morning.
I pulled away from my lover when the blood started flowing and she gave me a minute grin. “Oh, did I cause that?”
I gave her a look as I was pinching the bridge of my nose. “Shut up, smartass.”
Her grin grew by a fraction. “Should I acquire some tissue for you?”
“Please?”
She Maud-Nodded and did the thing, so I started mopping the blood off of my face. When the bleeding finally stopped, Maud let me get cleaned up before taking my arm and pressing her breasts against it, giving me the same little smile she’d been wearing since she’d made my nose bleed. “Are you finished with your facial issues?”
I gave her a stern look. “I’ll spank you. I really will.”
“You will not.” She answered, her tone still in mono form, but her eyes held a challenge.
I worked my arm so that I could hold my woman and still looked her in the eye. “Are you askin’ for a paddlin’? ‘Cause a paddlin’s what you’ll get.”
“Could you use your hand instead?”
I stepped a little closer and initiated a pleasant bout of snogging that started with my hands falling to her taught, well sculpted rear and finished with us taking separate showers before we got our day well and truly started. We grabbed some breakfast at the Mess Hall, cleared up some details with my Plan A, hammered out that last details of Plan B, and had Plan C put together by the time i was supposed to trade Maud for Frieda. My inamorata, my lover, was a little more than sad to see me go, but I told her that I would have a good surprise for her in six days time, so she was placated for the time being.
Frieda came to collect me from the Training Room with her own gear on, and I had to say that it wasn’t sexy at all. She attracted looks from every Griffin and a lot of the other races for her levels of cleavage, but I prefer skin on my breasts, thank you very much. I’ve yet to actually see Maud nude in any manner of the word, but I know sexy when I see it, and I knew that Frieda was supposed to be just that.
It’s the beak, Bruv. It really is.
She strolled up to me with all the swagger and pomp of a former Streetwalker, and I was pretty sure that between her feathery, full chest and her skin-tight breeches that she had the attention of every male in the Training Room. “Gauche! You ready for our romp?” She called out as the din of whispers and murmurs started in lieu of the sound of actual training.
“Where’s the hay? You can’t have a proper romp without hay.” I teased.
“Buck up or shut up, you fledgling.” She chuckled. When she reached me, she looked at Dagger Fall, the fellow I’d been training with. “How’s it going, Dags?”
He blushed and smiled. “Goin’ better now that B.B. East’s hottest star is in full gear. Lookin’ good, Frieda.”
She rolled her eyes. “Thanks a ton, Cutie. Mind if I steal your punching bag for a mission?”
Dagger Fall let his wooden sword wheel around and tap him on the shoulder. “Never sword fight with this guy. It’s laughable.”
“How many of our knife fights did I win?” I asked drily. “For a guy whose name is literally ‘Dagger Fall’, you handle one like a jumpy Gadai.”
“I don’t know what that means, but I’ll be sure to remind you of who the buck you’re talkin’ to.” Dagger smirked.
We touched fists and I started walking, leading the way out of the Training Room with Frieda keeping pace easily. “So the outfit really doesn’t do anything for you?” Frieda asked, sounding a little vexed.
I gave it another once over. “If you get stabbed in the gut, you’re fucked. And you really should be wearing a decent chest-piece to protect you from broadheads at the very least. Your gauntlets are fine, but it really wouldn’t hurt to-”
“Alright, shut up armour-snob.” She huffed. “Lord, it’s like talking to a wall with how much your libido actually plays into your thoughts.”
“So what? You want me sneaking peeks whenever I can?” I asked.
“Wouldn’t hurt to show a little interest, would it?”
“No, but I’m not attracted to you like that, Frieda. You’re probably incredibly attractive to just about all of the red-blooded males in Bonetown, but I guess I’m just not one of them.”
She nudged me with her fist. “Even when I throw it in your face that I’m trying to get some?”
“Just makes me uncomfortable, and not in my pants.”
Frieda had a good little laugh about that. “It’s nice to know that I’m getting friendzoned by a decent guy at least. You don’t know how many times I’ve tried to make male friends, only to have it blow up in my face.”
“I don’t have many female friends, to be honest with you. Most of them think I’m trying the ‘Nice Lad’ angle to get in their knickers, and the few that don’t usually don’t align themselves with thieves. It’s not like we come off as sexual deviants, right?” I asked, only halfway joking. I was a little curious as to what Frieda thought, honestly.
She let the question lie for a few minutes before she answered with, “You know, I think most gals don’t want to be your friend because you’re rough around the edges at best. I don’t know you that well, but from the way your revere your ‘Gods’ or whatever… It kinda makes you seem like one of those Celestia worshippers that always try to convince people that she and Luna move the Sun and Moon as they please.”
I gave her a look. “The Gods aren’t beings to be trifled with, Elfrieda. I’ve heard that Celestia and Luna are powerful in their own rights, but they could never hope to match a God and their scope. Hæl, it’s laughable to think that a being who can’t survive in the Heavens above the sky would claim such power.”
“What’s above the sky? Besides the Moon and Sun.”
I shrugged. “Some say Heaven lies further away, closer to the Sun than any other planet, shielded by Godly Will to be forever untouchable by man, but reachable for those who’ve reached the pinnacle of being. Some say the Heavens lie in a different realm entirely, but who is mortal man to know the will of the Gods?”
“Have you ever met one of your Gods?” Frieda asked amusedly.
I passed her a look from my periphery. “How many people speak to their Liege Lords? How many people speak to their Kings and Queens? Should an Emperor arise, how many would be able to claim that they’ve even been in their presence?”
“Fair point. Have other people met any of the Gods?”
“The Guildmaster of the Thieves Guild is said to be converse with Ladesa from time to time, but it’s forbidden to reveal her identity should she truly walk among the Guild Members.”
“I thought your God was Furlada?”
“Goddess, and Furladra. Furladra is the Goddess I serve, but her daughter, Ladesa, is an active Member of the Guild. Ladesa’s supposed to be second only to her mother, but I was the best thief in the Guild before I got ripped from Terra.”
“So the Gods-”
“Finish that with heresy and I’ll hit you.” I warned.
“... What’s heresy?”
“Foul-mouthing the Gods. It’s a good way to get cursed and have your Fate suddenly come to bear, and I don’t want to get caught up in your smiting. No, I most certainly do not.”
“... Yeah, Sweetheart, you sound like you’re batshit crazy. At least everyone knows Celestia and Luna are real.”
I leveled a withering glare at her. “So my world, where Humans have no Magic whatsoever, offerings disappear in flashes of light on stone altars and it’s...? Where brands applied in the name of the Gods heal in mere minutes as opposed to aching for months or even years...? A place where miracles only happen if your offerings to unseen beings are sufficient enough to keep you alive, or if you’re lucky, under the radar entirely? My world has no more Magic, if it ever did have any, and the Gods are probably the reason why. Magicks have no place on Terra.”
“And what makes you so sure that there aren’t people with Magic who just hid it?”
“People who were so much as suspected of having Magic were burned at the stake.”
“... Brutal.” Frieda murmured.
“Quite. Anyone who parlays with Dæmons and sells their own soul for power doesn’t deserve to live.” I answered morbidly.
“Bat. Shit. Insane.” Frieda chuckled nervously.
“Your reality is based on this world. My reality is based on mine. Do you need a deeper explanation?”
She gently shoved me. “Jeez, don’t be such a sensitive little snowflake.”
“I’ll buttsex you in the butt.” I deadpanned.
“No you won’t.” She countered effortlessly.
“I’ll dropkick you though.” I said, my voice flat.
“It’s scarier when a Minotaur says that.”
“It’s scarier when a Minotaur does pretty much anything, Frieda.”
“Fair enough. Speaking of; don’t get us caught. I’m not ready to die, y’know?”
I chuckled and didn’t honor that with more foolishness because she was being silly, but I was mostly interested in why she wanted my affections so badly. I’d always struggled to catch an eye in Avalesce, and even more so whenever I went to Fechere, but now it was looking good for me, as long as Spring Heat was concerned, that is. I’d been propositioned with free sex more times in the past twelve hours than I had in my entire adult life, and not all of them were while I was alone. Maud and I had been invited to multiple gangbangs as long as I offered to be the star, and she was invited to a couple of small orgies that people mostly just invited her to for politeness sake. I was apparently not hideous on Equis, but I’d been told that I was still middling and not all that attractive in the first place. Apparently there was just something about me that wasn’t cute.
Being lost in thought gives one time to focus on what’s really important, and when I switched tack and set my mind to figuring out how we would enter the mark’s mansion, Frieda pulled me down one of The Catacombs’ winding halls and we eventually popped up topside through a manhole that was nearly too small for me to fit through, although my frame’s never exactly been bulky. We were both able to get into the Græcus Household with no problems, but before we could get out of the wine cellar, my stomach suddenly went sour and I hurried Frieda back down the stairs and advised her to get the manhole cover ready for use.
My fears turned to reality when two Minotaurs, a Cow and a Bull, came downstairs with weapons drawn, so I was relieved that I’d had Frieda prepare to get gone before we could get caught. Instead of staying on the floor in the barren room, I’d had Frieda give me a boost to hide in the rafters above our new marks before she joined me, and when I gave her the signal, our quarries had no idea what slit her throat and who stabbed him in the back of the neck. In other words, them bones was left to rot, and my stomach was cleared for the time being, but I traded a meaningful look with Frieda and we just nodded at each other as I lead the way into the Græcus house itself.
We solved the Græcus problem by simply killing the rest of them due to the small size of the family, and Frieda and I made sure to sweep the place for the high-value items before dropping them down into The Catacombs to be collected at a later date. The bodies were painstakingly dragged to the cellar where Frieda and I did some Bloody Duddy, which is the term the Brotherhood uses for making sure that the cuts and kill marks you apply to someone get muddied up with other cuts. Basically, you desecrate the body, but neither Frieda or myself held much respect for Minotaurs, so we figured that it was good enough to lock every door in the house and to make a sign that said: Non-Græcus Keep Out!
After we made a clean sweep of the rest of the people who were there for our setup, Frieda egged me on to complete the mission, and I had to say that my gut was feeling fine about it, so I nodded along and we got to the rooftops within seconds of exiting the opulent house that had held surprisingly few good baubles to be hocked and fenced at the Grey Market. We were willing to bet that Sectus House was going to be a better playing grounds, so I showed Frieda how to drop from a rooftop and get into a house from a better angle than just flying up to a fucking window or something. We didn’t get spotted on our way in, and we kept it quick enough to not have to worry about it, but something still struck me as odd in the grand scheme of things.
We’d entered on the fourth story of the estate, and Sectus was said to be sleeping on the second floor, so we started looking for loot from the top of the building and our finds were fucking fantastic. There was a wrist-watch that had a complete crystal construction, a pocket-watch that was made from stone, a necklace with a pale green stone that match Maud’s eyes perfectly, and a talisman-looking thing that felt warm to the touch, even when it had obviously been sitting for hours, if not days in the case I’d found it in. Warmth without being touched by the Sun, flame, or a body is a tell tale sign of the object being enchanted, so I pocketed the thing after Frieda waved a crystal over it to see if it would get us killed and we continued on, grabbing heirloom-worthy broaches, dynasty pendants, rings that would would easily net us a hundred drachs apiece on the low-ball, and more random bits of enchanted things that I almost fucked up and nearly made useless. Frieda let me know that there had to be a rune cube somewhere nearby that was attached to the stuff to make them actually worth something, which I hadn’t known during my first excursion; something that lead to me getting a smaller cut than I would have liked. I remembered that I was supposed to be taking Sectus’ life before I started stealing shit, so I told Frieda to keep our swag and to get it out of the usual spots before heading down to the second floor solo.
My instincts told me that I was walking into a trap, so instead of walking all the way down the stairs, I sent a bottle of perfume down to the first floor from the stairwell and waited a couple of seconds while harsh whispers went on for a few seconds. It was all too easy to slip my goggles on (I stay prepared, dammit!) and start cracking open Irritant Diversion Poppers, as Daelus called them. In other words, as they were called by Guild Members, they were Joke Trochs, but when you cracked them open and tossed them, they would release a caustic gas that you needed a Guild mask to avoid getting choked by. As a Guild Member, you have to spend two full hours in Joke Troch gas to become a Varas, and that’s because you have to become immune to the affections of the lovely little substance. Even if we were ‘immune’, we still had to wear goggles to avoid being blinded since the shit could actually cause permanent damage to your eyes if you weren’t careful. I gave up three Trochs for the cause and hardcore parkoured my way down the stairs, using the banister as my judgement point.
The Minotaurs who had been lying in wait walked straight into my gas, and I’m sure that the noxious fumes weren’t supposed to make them keel over as soon as they caught a lungful, but what the fuck do I know? As the gas spread and more of the minor fucking army ran into its nearly invisible arms, more started to clutch their throats and drop to their knees, their eyes jondusing in seconds before turning orange. It always took exactly three seconds; like fucking clockwork. Before I even had a chance to do anything to them, every Minotaur in the ambush was either dead or close to it, and I had to sort through the bodies to find Sectus, but before I got to that, I headed back upstairs and made Frieda wear my mask before she came down to help me find the Princely fuckwad. She picked his massive frame out of the bodies easily with my goggles on, and she was all too happy to leave him chopped and screwed before I popped his bollocks into his mouth, but that’s when we learned something interesting.
No one was quite dead.
Nope.
Sectus woke up while I was sewing his mouth shut and had a seizure, blood spurting from his ruined genitals in a fountain of a beautiful brownish-red that I was actually rather fond of, even though it would’ve looked terrible on Guild Green. I shrugged it off and Frieda disemboweled him before wrapping his entrails around his neck with a sick grin on her face, and she made me help her tie his guts to a banister on the staircase so we could hang him with his own gore. It was some kind of brutal, and when we sent him over the railing, we learned that there were more Minotaurs in the house. I popped another Joke Troch and sent it down the staircase to keep us kosher long enough to do some more looting, and by the time we got out of Sectus’ estate, we were loaded down with more valuables than we could count, and the ambush that was supposed to have dealt with us was taken care of handily.
Frieda was happy to take the lead as we rapidly sauntered through the alleys, foregoing the Græcus Household entirely since I’d had a simply terrible feeling about it. Actually, every possible entry we had back to Bonetown in the Estate District either gave me a bad feeling or was being watched from a Griffin’s range, a detail pointed out to me by Frieda. We were made, and it wasn’t a good thing in this case. Someone was trying to get us killed and so far, it had only been instincts and street smarts that had kept us alive, but we didn't stop to talk about who’d sold us out because we already had a sneaking suspicion that we’d been sold out in multiple aspects by two different people. Frieda had caught one of her former Brothel Broads talking to Odysseus, and when Frieda mentioned it to her, the other woman had lied to Frieda’s face.
We ended up having to make it to the Artisan District to even get back into Bonetown, but the time we’d cost ourselves was bad news. The entrance we’d gotten to was unguarded, but the second we were spotted by some random Minotaur, he turned tail and Mino-Charged down the hall faster than Frieda or I could kill him. We were most certainly fucked and I only had three Irritant Diversion Poppers that I could spare left. I needed to keep two, just in case I couldn’t figure out the chems on my own with Equisian materials, but little did I know that good ol’ Pops was about to make my life significantly easier by strolling down the hall with a purely Minotaur Honor Guard. However, he wasn’t alone with his kin. One by one, battered Griffins and most likely dead Ponies started being tossed into the eight meters of space between us. Each one of them was a part of my Counting Crew, but not all of them were mine, and not all of my crew had been caught.
Pops gave me a dark look as we locked eyes. I pushed my cowl back and didn’t even bother with the Flash Face: my normal smirk was good enough to make him frown and furrow his brow a little deeper than before. “You done got sold out, son. Anythin’ ya got ta say for yerself?”
I casually tossed him a cylindrical thing, my arc perfect. “Consider that my peace offerin’, Odysseus.”
He caught it and gave it a once over before crushing it in his hands with a scowl. “Don’t count for shit, you cheeky, weak, pathe- ECK!” The gas formed from the combined reagents and I couldn’t help myself.
“Ha! Come at me now ya fuckin’ meat! I’m gonna serve your shitty flesh to your mindless ancestors and thou shalt be forsaken!” I grinned widely and cackled as the Minotaurs around him began getting wind of the gas, and as they tried to charge past their leader to come after me, they caught too much of the gas to keep them afloat in the land of consciousness for too much longer.
Odysseus was made out of tougher stuff, however. As his crew began to fall, he staggered toward me. “Ki- Ki- Ki… Ll. Kill-” He choked out. “Y- Ack! You!”
I stalked toward him, my smile wide enough to beat all others, and when I came within arm’s reach of him, he tried to swing at me, but the strength he had was so meager that I’d been able to block it by catching his fist. “You’re only the beginning, Odysseus. You don’t cross anyone from the Varkaat Kilta, but you know what? You fucking know what?Noone. Crosses. Garrison. Gods-damned. Varas!” I finished with a roar, spitting in his face before he fell to his knees. Perfect range for a full-throttle punch.
Frieda came up beside me, chuckling through the mask. “What now, Gauche?”
“Start killing the rest of them. Genital mutilation and disembowelment. Cut their tendons. Every one you know of, and if you don’t know where to find the ones that let ‘em, walk and swing their arms, come find me. I have that knowledge.” I said cheerfully.
“Are you going to pitch in, or what?” She asked playfully.
I gave her a manic grin. “Lover, I’ve got sacrifices to make. Dissida smiles upon us this day.”
“Batshit. Insane!” Frieda laughed heartily.
Needless to say, we had to get down to business, so we roused the Counting Crew that had made it out alive, and of those who could get back on their feet, Tangerine Breeze was one of their number. I was relieved that she in particular had made it out alive, but that made me wonder where the fuck Maud was. Still, as I sliced Odysseus’ hamstrings and cut away the Glenohumeral ligaments, knowledge courtesy of Tangerine’s textbooks on Minotaur anatomy. I managed to sew him up just fine and the anti-bleeding poultice that I’d barely had room for in my pouches came in handy as Biting Wind, the Cell I’d created, finished killing off Odysseus’ loyalists.
I chuckled as we loaded up the wagons and took them to the crematorium. Not all of our subjects were dead; courtesy of a few bitter hearts. Hæl, Pops himself? I had something special in mind for him.
❖☬❖
“Being stuck inside is so boring!” Pinkie complained, filling her fifth sudoku puzzle with random numbers, stumping Twilight yet again with the speed in which she was solving the more difficult ones.
“Well, if Gauche needs to take care of business and save ponies before he comes to Equestria, then it’s not really our place to tell him not to follow what his heart is telling him to do.” Twilight said, though she agreed with Pinkie. There weren’t nearly enough things for her to observe or experiment with in the ‘cramped’ room they’d gotten. Princess standards and all that.
Applejack looked out the window, thinking about what my little friend had beat around the bush about. She wondered why he’d seemed to have his head together after something so horrible had happened to him. As a wholesome woman whose worst experience in the field of bloodshed was putting down old animals with a crossbow, she couldn't comprehend eating another thinking, speaking, intelligent race, and it bothered her that her friends had glossed over the pain in Gauche’s eyes. They’d also ignored the deep seated rage that was written into his body language, but then again, I’d been telling Applejack the truth when I told her that she was wiser than most of her kinsmen. Kinsponies, I guess, if you want to be racist about it.
The newfound Favoured closed her eyes and murmured, “Faith. Max. Can ya talk?” under her breath, which would have gotten my attention, even if I hadn’t been watching closely in the first place.
‘Clear your mind and we can speak telepathically. When prompted, say that you’re lost in thought, okay?’ I responded telepathically.
‘Gotcha, Boss… So… Sir, can-’ Applejack started.
‘Drop the Sir bit, AJ. I’m not terribly fond, to be honest with you.’
‘Sorry… So…’ She sighed softly, looking at her friends as they talked, oblivious to the danger that they were in. ‘What’s Gauche doing?’
‘He’s… It’s not something you want to hear about.’
‘If ya say so… Can I ask another question?’
‘You just did.’ I replied, waiting for it.
‘Can I ask one besides that one?’
‘Second verse same as the first.’ I said, chuckling to myself, reusing the old joke like it was brand new all over again. Sometimes I love the more blissfully oblivious cultures.
‘I don’t really wanna get erased from existence or anythin’, but you’re kind of a smartass.’
‘No shit.’ I chuckled some more. ‘Is there something you actually wanted to talk about?’
‘Well, I was wonderin’ if ya could tell me a little more about Gauche.’
‘I can give you his entire history, Love. It’s just not a good idea.’
‘... Why’s that?’
‘Earning his loyalty is as easy as hiring him and not fucking him over, or as you would say, ‘bucking’ him sideways. Your best bet is really to see if you can just stay away from him, to be honest with you. Twilight’s a pony he’ll never betray unless he absolutely has to, and every one of your friends besides yourself and Rarity will get along just fine with the guy. You and Rarity just don’t know how to mind your own business.’ I finished wryly, being a little patronizing in all honesty.
Applejack frowned and glared out of the window. ‘So he’s dangerous to everypony but Twilight?’
‘Love, everypony’s dangerous in their own right. You just have to avoid crossing Gauche because he’s more dangerous than most. It’s not like saying mean things to him, avoiding him, or just not interacting with him in general is going to piss him off, so-’
“I ain’t leavin’ him ta just do as he pleases.” Applejack grumbled.
“What was that, Applejack?” Twilight asked.
“Nothin’, Twi. Just stuck in my head.” She replied, the truth sounding in her voice.
“Maybe talking will help?” Pinkie gave her a big smile.
Applejack shook her head and looked out the window. “I just don’t like the way Gauche is presentin’ himself is all. Guy’s beyond sketchy.”
‘So was I, Love. I was very sketchy when I was young.’ I added.
“Just because he doesn’t seem like a normal Pony doesn’t mean he’s bad.” Twilight said defensively. “Didn’t we already learn this lesson with Zecora? And again with Chryssy?”
Pinkie laughed out loudly. “I don’t know about you, AJ, but I trust my sister to pick a good pony to date, even if she hasn’t had much luck in keeping a Stallion! Gauche really seems to like and respect Maud, and a guy who loves his Special Somepony can’t be all that bad!”
Applejack shook her head, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face, though it looked as though she were pushing some feathers back into place due to the Glamour on the three of them. “I just get a bad feelin’ from that guy, y’know? Like, he seems like the real sneaky type to me.”
Pinkie sat up straighter, her tail twitching along with her left eye. “We have company!”
Twilight frowned. “Nopony’s set off the Proximity Spell Gauche had me-” Her eyes widened as she felt someone stop in front of their door. “Oh.”
Applejack loaded her crossbow, but Pinkie waved at her frantically until she put it down. “You’re not gonna need that~!” She sang, bouncing over to the door before whipping it open to reveal a familiar face, pulling the suspect in rapidly.
“Maud!?” Twilight cried as Pinkie shut the door.
Maud did her nod. “Hello, Twilight. I would hope that we were meeting under better circumstances, but times are troubled at this moment.”
Pinkie gave Maud a big ol’ squishum. “What’s wrong, Maudileena? Is something going on?”
“I am currently fleeing for my life. Things have taken a turn for the worst in my geological studies.” Maud deadpanned.
The room could have had a safety pin drop and the noise would have been rather noticeable. “... Whatcha mean by that, Maud?” Applejack asked.
The grey Mare turned to her. “Death looms in my temporary lodgings. Gauche has been
set up, and his life is forfeit.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped before the jewel in her forehead (I had to get rid of the fucking Unicorn horns. They were stupid on Human-esque faces.) lit up brightly, but I blocked her from seeing what all was going on around Garrison. “He’s alive!” She shouted suddenly. “Something’s barring my Magic from seeing his location, but he’s humming to himself and talking to somepony!”
Maud’s brows raised marginally. “Do you possess the strength to teleport him here?”
I whispered to Applejack. ‘Don’t let her do that. Cite his business as your reason.’
Applejack nodded and spoke quickly. “Didn’t Gauche say something like that he had business or whatever? I’m sure the guy can take care of himself.”
“Not against Odysseus. There is not a being in Grey Grotto that could save him from Odysseus,” Maud said, blinking three times in rapid succession. Well, Pinkie was the only one who would recognize it as fast, but that’s because she knew her sister.
“Oh.” Pinkie murmured, the wacky feathers in her Glamour smoothing themselves down. “Oh my… Maud, I...”
Twilight nodded and the gem on her forehead lit up again, but I started sapping her Magic the further she started reaching out to grab Garrison. “I-I can’t get ahold of him! Something’s getting in the way of the connection!”
Applejack bit her lip and Maud noticed, meaning that the muted Mare was in her face in seconds. “What do you know of this, Applejack? Do not lie to me.” She said, her voice dipping for that one word.
My favoured asked ‘Can I get a little help here?’ as she said, “Maud, if I knew where Gauche was, I’d tell Twi. Ain’t nothin’ to it.”
Maud’s eyes narrowed as I effectively ignored Applejack’s plea. “You are withholding information. I will make you regret this if you continue.”
Applejack glowered at her and tried to rise from her seat, but when Maud laid her hand on her fellow Earth Pony’s shoulder, I whispered ‘I wouldn’t try her, my little Apple. Spill what you know. Trust yourself for this one.’
AJ took a deep breath and bit back an insult. “I know Gauche is alive and I know that he said he’ll be back for us in a week. I don’t know whatcher expectin’ from me, Maud.”
Maud similarly took a deep breath and tried to drill holes into Applejack’s skull with her eyes. “... If I were to ask you to help me save him, would you?”
“Are ya gonna take that-” Maud removed her hand before AJ could finish. “Alright. I might be a little tempted to lend ya a hand as long as long as Twi and Pinkie stay back.”
“Hey! If you’re going to save Gauche, then wouldn’t it-” Twilight started.
“Princess, you are too valuable to go where we must go. If your Glamour fails you, unspeakable horrors will be committed against your being.” Maud said, her monotone carrying a bit of an edge to those who could hear it.
“Maudee, I don’t know if I should stay behind. I mean, wouldn’t I be great for helping you two stay out of trouble?” Pinkie asked weakly, a little scared of the situation she was finding herself in. I gave her some comforting words and her Anima responded to the support rather well, but she was still nervous.
Applejack objected as soon as she finished speaking. “I don’t think ‘certain death’ bodes well for ya, Pinks. This ain’t gonna be pretty, and I’ve known you an’ Twi way too long to let y’all come along for this one.” She stood and grabbed her weapons from where they sat nearby. “Maud, how long will we be gone?”
“Four hours, maximum.” Maud answered with finality. “We will be going in alone.”
Applejack frowned. “Gauche ain’t got too many friends, does he?”
Maud nodded. “He is very charismatic with Griffins and Ponies, but Minotaurs and Dogs hold little love for him. We will most likely be facing Minotaurs.”
AJ looked at Twilight. “This is why I brought the damn crossbow.”
Twilight blushed, but worry was etched across her features instead of the mild irritation she felt from the comment. “Just don’t get hurt, okay?”
“Can’t promise ya that, Twi,” Applejack said before I whispered to her. After that, she said, “but I can promise ya that I’ll find Gauche, one way or another.”
“That too is not guaranteed, Applejack.” Maud said as sadly as she could, her shift in demeanor only noticed by Pinkie. “We must hurry. The longer we wait, the slimmer his chances get.”
Applejack didn’t actually feel all that bad about that, so I slapped the back of her head for being a somewhat cold-hearted Pony and she whirled around. “The buck!?”
Everyone looked at her. “... Are you okay, Applejack?” Twilight asked.
Applejack glared at the empty space behind her. ‘Was that you?’
‘Sure was.’ I replied, my tone unamused. ‘I might like you, but that doesn't mean I’m just going to let you pull bullshit on Garrison for nothing. Go quote unquote ‘save him’ already, you nag.’
“... I think the Creator just slapped the back of my head for thinkin’.” Applejack grumbled.
There were a few awkward giggles and some ‘Ha’s from Maud, but then she started to leave the room and Applejack had little choice other than to follow her. When they got to the tavern area of the inn where the innkeeper was, Maud asked for access to the cellar and paid the fellow off with a few copper drachs, confusing Applejack until they dropped down into The Catacombs beneath Grey Grotto. The cave-like parts of the Catacombs left my first Favoured on the planet feeling rather intimidated, but the when the walls turned to bone and she saw hollow eyes staring at her from every direction?
She might have gotten a little scared. Just a smidge. A tiny bit.
“... Uh, Maud? Where-” Applejack began.
“The Catacombs. This is the result of multiple mass burials that happened during a plague, a civil war, another plague, and then a normal war. Life in Minosia is rarely peaceful.” Maud answered.
“... I meant ta ask what ya were even doin’ here in the first place.” AJ said softly.
“I came to study rocks.” Maud answered honestly.
“That ain’t the whole truth. Studyin’ rocks don’t get ya mixed up with murderers and people like Gauche.”
“It does in Minosia.”
“I ain’t too fond a’ liars, Maud.”
“I have yet to lie to you. I have been less than forthcoming with the full story, but I have not lied.” Maud answered easily.
“Why dontcha tell me the full story while we’re walkin’?” Applejack asked.
Maud stopped and thus stopped Applejack in turn. “If you were not an Element of Harmony, your questions would get you killed. As such, it is for the best that you have as little knowledge of what is truly happening beneath your hooves as functionably possible.”
“... Kinda makes me wanna go back to the inn, Maud.”
“I will not force you to help me save Gauche, but if he dies…” Maud cleared her eyes of tears that had yet to fall. “It is early in my time with him, but I love this Stallion more than any who have come before. I ask for your assistance, Applejack, as limited as the information that I can give you is.”
Applejack started moving again at a fantastic pace. “Never let nopony say that Applejack Apple don’t believe in love.”
Maud caught up quickly and took the lead, jogging ahead of Applejack as they headed toward the heart of The Catacombs where most of the Minosian Branch of Bite-Back actually lay. “Applejack.”
“Listenin’.” The orange Mare replied effortlessly, the cardio not even phasing her.
“... What do you know of Bite-Back?” Maud asked.
“I’m assumin’ it’s when ya bite your dog because it bit you.” My silly Favoured answered honestly.
“Keep your assumption and you will keep your peace.”
Applejack passed her a look, but Maud sped up her mild anxiety attack spurring her on as my Knight hopped across the board. I hadn’t meant to steer Applejack down the current path, but it was working out for the best, and Bite-Back was already bouncing back from the loss of about thirty members in the course of ten minutes. After a long jog with a few breaks to walk, the pair of Mares made it to the epicenter of the night’s action and Applejack saw the bloodstains on the floor, gasping as she saw beat-up Ponies, Griffins, a couple of Cats, and a Naga moving every race that was on the floor other than the Minotaurs.
“Stars above…” She murmured, standing stock-still as some of the people toiling away at getting cadavers moved started looking at her and Maud.
“Everyone!” Maud shouted. “What happened here?”
The Naga slithered forth and inclined his head to Maud. “I’m sure you’re aware of the fact that Biting Wind was sold out by Grelda?”
Applejack saw Maud’s fists clench and heard her knuckles pop from the pressure she exerted. “I did not. Has she been apprehended?”
“Frieda’s tracking her down with Lola. Kerrick has been made aware of our victory.” The Naga grinned widely, showing off blood-stained fangs that dripped with bright green, poisonous saliva.
Maud tilted her head. “... We… We won? But what about the ambushes set up for our Cell?”
“Gauche prevailed in his mission against all odds. Frieda praised his instinct for keeping them safe during the assassination.” The Naga nodded as he spoke. “The Lone Human was also responsible for… Well, Odysseus lives.” He chuckled darkly, making Applejack spine freeze and her heart hammer in her chest.
Maud shook her head. “Say no more until I return. I was expecting there to be bloodshed.”
“Oh, many of our Minotaurs are officially deceased, and there’s no changing that. However, things look good for us.”
Maud gave him a nod. “Who is keeping things running?”
“Kerrick’s in charge and Schrade is backing him along with Steely and Dagger Fall. No one dares strike against the current Quarter Chief.”
“Then the balance has already shifted.” Maud mused. “Where has Gauche gone?”
The Naga looked at Applejack. “Your friend is an outsider.”
“Speak to me, not to her.” Maud took two steps forward and the Naga leaned down to give her the location.
Applejack shook in her thick, sturdy shoes, confused, horrified, and a little relieved that she wasn’t going to have to shoot anyone, but she still had to ask, “What in Tartarus is goin’ on here!?”
Maud looked at her, the Naga still giving her information as she spoke. “The biggest threat to Gauche’s health and safety is gone. He is now being dealt with, and Gauche will be either reprimanded or rewarded depending on Kerrick’s word. It would be in your best interest to forget about what you have seen here.”
Applejack started rubbing her temples. “... How many ponies just died down here!?”
The Naga got his snout away from Maud’s ear so he could laugh. “The Equestrian in you shows! Go back to your land of milk and honey, Pony.” He ended coldly.
Applejack blinked away her surprise, but she couldn’t really find the fire in her belly. “... Shit. At least in Equestria the worst thing ya gotta worry about is a fistfight!”
The Naga rolled his eyes. “Silly Ponies. Maud, I am glad that you are not like your kin.”
Maud stuck a finger in one of his open wounds and Applejack winced alongside the Naga. “Silence. You are in charge of the clean up, Gevet. Make sure that the floors are properly buffed.”
He nodded. “Yes, Un- Er!”
She poked him in the same spot, staining her finger with more of his slightly discoloured blood. “Stop talking and start working before I do this with my fist in a much tighter hole.”
He gulped. “Yes Ma’am.”
Gevet slithered away quickly and Maud came back to Applejack, ushering her along to head back to the inn. Applejack, as shocked as she was, had nothing to say, despite the unanswered questions bouncing around in her head nonstop, like a constantly whirling… Whirlpool. Fuck. Her thoughts fuckin’ chaotic, alright? She could barely get the sight of all the different races that had still been on the ground when she left with Maud, and the images stained themselves into her eyes, making her feel ill until Maud got her to climb a ladder that lead to an abandoned building. It had been an hour and a half walk to the Headquarters, but when they went topside, the time was cut in half with the advent of a farmer who was heading back to the outskirts of town.
Maud herself was a little lost in thought, but when the inn came into view, she said, “Applejack, I must leave you here. Gauche does not need my assistance at the moment, but I will feel better by his side. I wish you the best of luck in forgetting what you have seen.”
“Maud… How many of them fellas were still alive?” AJ asked softly.
“Few, if any. Most of them would have gotten back up if they could have in the meantime between the ambush being set up and the crashing failure of said ambush. Do not let the loss of ponies that you have no interest in weigh on your mind, Applejack.” Gauche’s lover hopped off of the cart and Applejack couldn’t help but stare at her.
“Wait, where ya goin’!?” AJ yelled as she came to her senses.
Maud looked at her. “I have a long walk. Tell my beloved sister that I will see her before three days pass.”
Applejack nodded and couldn’t think of any reason to further question Maud due to the mælstrom in her mind. ‘Max…?’
I took in my options. ‘Yes, my little Apple?’
‘... Ya meant for me ta see that, didn’t you?’
‘You didn’t have to go with her. I didn’t tell you that you had to.’
‘Can I get a little warning next time? Just in case?’
‘I can’t tell you that I regret not saying anything, Applejack. I appreciate innocence for
what it is, but I’m not terribly fond.’
‘... That’s… That’s pretty horrible, Max. I thought you were supposed to be the supreme force of good… The guy who watches over all his foals with love and-’
‘Applejack, I’ve killed so many people that it’s beyond the meaning of genocide at this point. I am not what you think I am. As God, I have to be cold at times and let people learn their own lessons. What did you learn from this, my Favoured daughter?’
‘... Ya let me walk inta a scene straight outta Tartarus, and you call me a Favoured daughter?’
‘Consider this: You walked into the aftermath. What would have happened if Maud had found you even thirty minutes sooner, knowing that she had a target on her back?’
‘Ya evidently don’t control as much as I thought ya did, so-’
‘I may not have pulled the strings, but I let the woman who did do as she pleased. I’m not asking you to thank me for your new emotional scarring, I am asking you what. Did. You. Learn?’
Applejack thought back to the horrors she’d seen and blinked back tears. “... I dunno.” She whispered soft enough that the farmer fellow and his daughter didn’t hear.
‘When you find an answer, you know I’ll be listening. For now, tell your friends how what you saw made you feel, but don’t wound them as well.’
‘Wasn’t plannin’ on it.’ She wiped her eyes and sniffled. ‘... Max?’
‘Yes, Applejack?’
‘... Is there an Afterlife?’
‘Multiple, although the paths collectively lead to the same place. Some are just longer or thornier than others.’
‘... Is Maud goin’ ta Tartarus?’
‘The unholy Afterlife is Hell, or Hæl. The punishment pit is Smileton.’ I answered cryptically.
‘... Is she going to either of those?’
‘Yes. So are you, but you will spend far less time there than she will. Your path to quote unquote ‘everlasting’ peace is going to have briars nearby, but you will come out whole. Live your life with your morals intact and you’ll see the other side just fine.’ I said soothingly.
Applejack looked like she wanted to cry more than before. ‘Why am I goin’ ta a terrible place when I ain’t killed nopony? I ain’t never stolen nothin’ that I didn’t give back! I ain’t never-’
‘My dear Love, even Fluttershy is going to Hell. It’s unavoidable. The best people I have ever met, my purest of creations, still went to Hell for a few minutes. You’ll only have a few hours at the rate you’re going. Would you like to know how long people like Maud and her affiliates go?’
‘... Yeah. Yeah, kinda.’ She wiped her eyes again before standing up. “Hey, thanks for the ride y’all. Is there any way I can pay ya back?” She said to the Earth Pony Stallion.
He turned and gave her a wink with a green eye flecked with gold. “Don’t worry about it, my little Apple.”
Applejack froze and I made my avatar give her a smile before gesturing for her to hop off. “... Right. Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
She jumped off and landed a little awkwardly, but AJ was otherwise fine. ‘... Max, was that-’
‘No, I just borrowed him for a moment. His crop should do a bit better after today.’ I answered before she could finish. ‘To give you the information you want, however, it’s upwards of a thousand years. Every life you take is at least a hundred, and the toll gets heavier with certain circumstances. It’s not like you plan on mortally wounding someone- Er, somepony, right?’
Applejack sighed and started walking toward the inn. “I don’t plan on it, but ya never know what the future holds.”
‘True. Who knows, though? Your life could be smooth sailing after you return to Equestria.’
“Why does the Minotaur King not crackdown on murderers like Maud? It’s not like bein’ literally underground is doin’ many favours.” She muttered more to herself than to me, using the open ground to not sound like a crazy person.
‘Tch. He’s the reason why a lot of the people you saw in those Catacombs were even there, Applejack. He a murderous rapist that I would strike down if direct interference was more my style. As it is, he’s going to be taken care of.’ I gave up on using the Pony nationalistic words entirely and shot Applejack with a little bug that would make her phase them out of her vocabulary.
“... Gonna kill him, aintcha?”
‘I’ll have no hand in it, but yes. Herodotus has a target engraved into his flesh, and it will be a day of mass celebration in Minosia if he’s killed before he can truly start his war with Equestria.’
Applejack stopped and choked on her own saliva, caught off guard by a fit of coughing. “What!?”
‘Yes, the King of Minosia wants Equestrian land. The few wise Minotaurs of the lands have been fanning the coals of rebellion in order to stop the majority of the male population from being turned into corpses against Equestria’s might.’
“... Holy shit, Max. Can… Dear Creator above, am I goin’ ta Hell for wishin’ ill on that Minotaur?”
‘If hopes and wishes were more than what they are, then maybe. As it is, as long as you don’t give the order to have someone killed or commit the act itself, you should be good.’
“... I dunno how I feel about listenin’ to ya anymore. I’m… I’m kinda scared of what I’m gonna hear.” She said in a small voice.
I gave her a hug from light years away, but Applejack didn’t bother to hug the invisible person back. ‘All will be okay, my dear Apple. You are strong, even when you feel weak and powerless. Remember that.’
“If ya say so, Max. If ya say so…”
