“Yo dude, wusssahp!”
I was sitting on a bench in the middle of the park. Which was weird because I never went to the park. Mainly because people liked to do drugs in the cover of the trees. Beside me was the douchiest douchbag I’d ever seen. He was wearing two fluorescent polo shirts with the collar popped on the inner one, which was bright neon green. The outer one was highlighter pink. He was wearing oversized douchy sunglasses, cargo shorts with a red and purple plaid print, bright white hightops tht were unlaced, glowing yellow knee high socks, and not one, not two, but three baseball caps with the brims pointed different directions and each being a different color.
“I said, wassahhp, dude. “
“Uh....”
He pulled out a vape pen and took a hit before breathing out a cloud of cotton candy scented lies. (Friggin hate those things because of that. Think there’s sweets nearby? Nope, just somebody vaping.)
Once he had finished he rolled his head to look at me from behind his shades and did that weird hand thing douchebags do (you know the one).
“What’s good bro.”
“I’m sorry, are you talking to me?”
He snorted and laughed the most irritating laugh I’ve ever heard before replying.
“Course I am dude. I’m here fir a reason, yaknow?”
“No... I don’t.”
He adjusted his hats and said,
“I’m here to give you some advice, my dude.”
“I feel like I don’t want your advice.”
“Everyone wants The Chad’s advice because everyone wants to be The Chad.”
He lowered his sunglasses and said,
“I’m The Chad if you were wondering.”
“I wasn’t, I assure you.”
“Well it’s time for my advice broski. First off, if you’re getting a tat, make sure it’s meaningful. I mean....”
He rolled up the sleeves over his right arm and showed off a tribal tatoo.
“I got this after I won the second annual burger eating contest. So it’s pretty important to me.”
“What does it mean?”
He shrugged,
“No clue. But anyway, my next bit of advice—“
“That I didn’t ask for.”
“—is that the past will make the future clear, yknaw?”
“....Did you get that off a fortune cookie?”
He shrugged and looked over at a group of people riding around on unicycles. Suddenly he spoke,
“You moron.”
“Excuse me?”
“Why are you always getting yourself hurt and then bloody fainting!”
“I do not!”
“Gyaaaaah... stupid, stupid, stupid!”
“You call me that one more time and you’re getting it.”
He turned to me.
“C’mon you bastard. Wake up!”
I rubbed my hands together.
“Well, I warned you.”
I cocked my arm back as he said,
“If you don’t stop hurting yourself like this I’m gonna do somethin’ drastic, you ass.”
And with that I let fly and clocked him right on the jaw.
——————————
There were gasped as I jolted awake, my arm still raised. One of the griffins I saw looked at the floor and said,
“Oi! I think he heard ya!”
There was a groan and Gerhman shakily raised himself off the floor. He rubbed his jaw and croaked,
“Bloody hell mate! That freakin’ hurt! For such a little guy you sure can throw a punch.”
A nurse snickered,
“Or maybah yoor just a lil’ bi—“
“Nurse! Be professional!”
The nurse was cowed by the doctor(?)’s fierce glare. He then turned to me and said,
“Any discomfort? Bleedin’? Numbness? Memory loss? Ah dunnoo, anythin’?”
I groaned as I tried to raise myself and various spots along my body twinged with pain. An older nurse shoved me back down and said,
“I duhnay think ya should try gittin’ up, dearie. Yoor back got messed up somethin’ bad.”
I relented and groaned. After a few seconds I asked,
“Will there be any permanent damage?”
The doctor scoffed,
“If’n yah were a griffin yoo’d be dead. Yer scales stopped any lethal injury, but yoo still got quite a few nasty holes in ya. Fortunately none were too deep, but still, try ta avoid movin’ the old back for a while. You should be fine in a jiffy. Although, yoo seriously need mineral supplements. Yer scales are beginin ta get soft.”
“Yeah, I know. I just don’t know where to get more gems to eat.”
He laughed and the rest of the medical staff joined in. After a bit he wiped a tear from his eye and stared at my nonplussed face.
“Yoo serious?”
“Is there something I’m missing? Do gems grow on trees here?”
“No! Just eat a rock you numpty! It won’t taste as good as a gem, but it will still give yoo some minerals.”
I blinked at him before smacking myself up the head, causing a throb of pain to spread throughout me.
“Of course you moron! Why didn’t I think of that! If I can bite through a freakin’ jewel I can obviously eat a rock! Stupid!”
“Aw don go beatin yerself up. Tha only reason I know is because I’ve treated a few dragons in my time. Pshaw, many o’ them dinay even know they could either... okay, that’s a lie. Anyways, I’ll leave you to get some rest. I’ll have a nurse bring you some minerals with ya dinner.”
He then turned to the nurses and Gerhman and began herding them out.
“Away with ya now! Let the laddie get some sleep.”
I drew a breath and slowly let it back out. Hanging beside my bed was my coat. I lifted it off the hook and began absently feeling for holes as I examined my room. It was typical hospital style furnishings... for some kinda weird medieval theme park or something. The walls were stone, the floor was stone, everything but the bed and tables was stone. There was a single window beside the bed that looked out over a familiar river.
*ting*
I froze as my finger struck metal. I carefully felt around the pocket of my coat and drew out a ring of some yellowish metal. There were runes inscribed around it with a bizarre sigil embossed on the widened face. Small bloodstains dotted the surface.
Oh... Scorcher’s ring. I forgot I had pocketed this. I turned it over in my hands before licking my finger and cleaning it off. Once it was stain free I held it up to the light.
“There, good as new.”
I admired its sheen a few moments more before carefully sliding it onto my middle finger.
I yelped as I was thrown harshly on the damp cave floor. Looking up at the cave ceiling, illuminated by firelight, my tormentor’s face swam into view. I flung up a claw to shield myself from the blows, my manacles glinting cruelly in the scarlet glow. Harsh laughter arose from the crowd of onlookers.
“Please! Stop! I’m sorry!”
A shadow fell over me as my owner advanced, teeth grit in rage.
“You littl’ rat! You burned my food! Teach you to ruin my dinnah I will! You’ll have nothing to eat for a week!”
“No! No-o-o! I’m sorry! It won’t happen agai-EAAAH!”
Pain exploded through me as he grabbed me by the neck and smashed me into a wall.
“Like ‘ell it’ll ‘appen again! Ifn ya do somefink like this ever again I’ll roast you over a fire meself!”
One onlooker crowed,
“Don’t let ‘im off easy! Give’m a taste ahve a hot poker!”
I desperately shook my head as he grinned wickedly.
“You know wut, that’s exactly what I’ll do. Ludo, get an iron nice and toasty for the sod.”
A particular nasty griffin with tattoos all over moved one of the crude rods of metal into the center of the fire as my owner squeezed harder.
“Listen up you mangy littl’ rabbit! No slave of mine is gonna run about the place mucking everything up and doin’ as he pleases. No, you’re gonna do what you’re told... AREN’T YA!”
I desperately nodded as I gasped for air.
“Please... I’m... sorry! Won’t... happen... again!”
The band of griffins howled with laughter as I was slammed onto the floor and rough claws spread my limbs out, leaving my stomach exposed. I squirmed and cried, begging for mercy.
“Please no! It was an accident! I didn’t mean to! Please, Mister Draveth! I’ll—“
*SMACK*
“DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME BY MY NAME YOU WORM! YOU ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO CALL ME MASTER! YOU DON’T GET TO TALK TO ME LIKE WE’RE EQUALS! THERE’S A REASON YOU HAVE NO NAME! BECAUSE YOU’RE NOTHING!”
Tears rolled from my face as I redoubled my vain attempts at escape. Looking over, I saw Ludo gripping the poker and carrying it over. As the tool, now a bright orange in color, grew nearer I screamed.
“PLEASE! HELP ME! PLEASE! HELP! HELP! HEL—“
*KSSSSSSSSSSS*
I lurched as I yanked the ring off my finger. Gasping, I felt my stomach. Looking down I saw no new marks whatsoever. But I could have sworn that a hot piece of metal had just seared my flesh. I looked down at the ring and shuddered.
“What... the actual heck was that.”
I rotated it a bit before slipping it back into my jacket pocket and placing the garb on my bedside table. I had just settled back against my pillow when the old nurse from before entered carrying a tray of food. She moved my coat and deposited the tray on the table before asking,
“Anythin’ I can do for you dearie?”
I awkwardly twiddled my thumbs before saying,
“Yeah... uh... can you help me up. I... need to go to the bathroom.”
She nodded and we began the arduous task of moving me from my bed to the bathroom. The main difficulty came from trying not to aggravate my injuries. I mean, you try getting out of bed without once bending your back. Eventually we managed to get myself into a wheelchair and to a door. The lady said,
“It’s right through there. Just yell ifn ya need help and I’ll be there in a jiffy.”
I nodded.
“Will do. Thanks.”
As the door closed I sighed before awkwardly looking down towards my nether regions. You see... this was part of the transformation that I still wasn’t... comfortable with. The main thing was the fact that all my... bits were, like, inside. Whenever anything needed using it just kinda... emerged. It was freakin weird and I didn’t like it. Same with my new... equipment. Take my word for it, dragons have some weird stuff going on downstairs. I’m not going into details, but it definitely wasn’t human.
I finished up and washed my hands before opening the door and gingerly getting back into my wheelchair. Before long I was back in bed with my food on my lap. I gulped and picked up my spoon.
“Let’s hope hospital food isn’t as awful here as it is back home.”