//------------------------------// // 4. I'm from Barcelona! // Story: Chasing Eternity. // by the frank //------------------------------// The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ mares gang aft agley.Yep, still as true as back in those days. Sneaky was a well-read mare, and even if her only benefit was to find witty quotes to amuse herself, the pleasure in finding one that fitted her current situations was pretty great. And that quote was spot on. Two weeks had passed, and it was yet for her mistress to actually meet the princess. Her research had been thoroughly done, and she now knew everything princess Twilight did. Everything was unfortunately next to nothing when it came to Twilight, which Rarity declared to the skies and Sneaky while she threw her research in the air around her. There was absolutely NOTHING in there for her to use. Princess Twilight’s days were almost always following the same pattern. She woke up at 4 in the afternoon and had a light snack consisting of coffee and biscuits. Then she read a book. After that, she and her secretary took care of her correspondence. Then she had coffee, and read a book. Somewhere after that she raised the moon, and had BreakfastDinner with Sunset during which they talked about the passed day. (Apparently Twilight wanted to call it “Brinner” which Sunset refused. They had discussed this subject at least three times.) Then she was briefed about the cases in the upcoming night court. Then she read a book. Then night court, which took four to six hours. Then she had a quick snack and read a book before she began the dreamwatch, which was another four hours. Then she lowered the moon, had coffee, talked to Sunset and read… a book. And then she went to bed. And repeat. “The only real variation is that sometimes She and Sunset has tea! I must get to her! But how? HOW?” Sneaky collected the papers from the floor and looked at some of them. Always the same, like clockwork. Well, some days she had donuts instead of bisquits with her late night snack, but that was the that. And Rarity was furious. “How!? Once again, how!? Oh, this is the worst! No, it is more than the worst! It’s a travesty!” “Eh, so so… mistress,” Sneaky decided that she had to say SOMETHING, “At least she is consistent. You will find someway to get to her I’m sure…” Immediately she had Rarity in her face, “What are you talking about, thrall?” Sneaky swallowed. ”Well… um… I assume you’re upset because it will be hard to talk to her…?” Rarity wiped the papers from Sneaky’s hooves. “Pish-Posh! As if that would stop me! The important things you fail to see!” Sneaky blinked. “Okay?” “Her life is so BORING! No drama! No glamour! No anything! Just books and counts and books and counts and books! She NEEDS ME, thrall! NEEDS! ME! NOW! I cannot waste another minute to save her from this so called life. It is time… to create!” And with a waggle of her mane, she was out, although Sneaky could her her mutter, “...trouble finding time… pah…”. Sneaky had already had her dinner when the mistress returned. She was wearing an elegant, yet simple black dress with a red scarf. And she had dyed her hair pitch black. She threw over a package of clothing to Sneaky. “Dress up, thrall! We have work to do!” Sneaky put her clothes on without fussing, it was a jacket and a shirt. She put it on without any hesitation, and the mistress gave her an appreciative look. “Marvellous! Now we are ready for an audience!” Some minutes later, they found themselves in a cab on the way to the castle. “So… we’re going to the castle tonight? Already?” Sneaky silently regretted not taking a nap. “Yes! It is time! My plan is perfect!” ”So… you’re going to just walk up to her?” “No. You did have a point, thrall! And so did I! I need an alias, and so do you! Tonight, you are miss Knick-Knack, my secretary and companion and fluent in three languages.” Sneaky swallowed. “Al...right. And you are?” Rarity tossed her head backwards and laughed. “I am-a di contESSA Rareza y Pomerance, just-a here from Euspania! Now lets-a go!” And with a dramatic gesture, she walked out of the cab. Sneaky followed her mistress in baffled silence, and a not so large amount of cringe. The cab ride home was much quieter than the ride there, but much more unpleasant. Sneaky looked at her mistress, whose eyes glowed red and it felt like they lit up the cab. She could see the fangs glimmer in the moonlight that now and then shone in from the window, and she guessed that the mistress wouldn’t mind burying them in the neck of every royal guard she saw. Sneaky had to admit that the evening had been a disaster, and not entirely the mistress’ fault. It had already begun at the gates.... They walked right up to the gates from the cab, where two guards -one pegasus and one earthpony- stood on watch.  As they approached they sank their pikes towards them and called out. “Halt!” The mistress smiled warmly at them. "Ah! My good stALLions! I am here to meet-a di prINcess!” The guards didn’t falter. “No.” “What-a do you mean?” “Unless you have a booked an appointment we cannot let you through. Which you didn’t.” “And how-a do you know that?” “Because otherwise we would have let you in.” “This is preposterous! I am a contESSA! I can-a have an appointment with de princess when I want-a.” Sneaky couldn’t deny that the mistress at least acted the part of a noble, despite the accent. The guards nodded slightly. “You are referring to the ‘I am a noble and I demand’-Clause?” “Is that rea… I mean, a yes-a!” “Then I’m afraid you are at the wrong gate. That’s the west door, this is the south-east.” “...All-a-right-a. Then I go there-a” She turned to leave, but the pegasus guard stopped her. “Just a minute. I will go over there in half an hour, I can save you some time. What is your name?” “ContESSA Rareza y Pomerance!” “Ah.” He was silent for a while. “Then no, you can not enter there either.” “What! But you said…” The mistress briefly dropped her accent and stared at the guard. “I am sorry, but you need to be from one of the families listed in the papers. And I assume you’re from Euspania? Only Equestrian royalty is permitted that way.” “What? But… but...I am… I AM-A!” “You are? How?” “Ah well-a… you see, my father, eh, was not…” The guards face lit up in a knowing smile. “Ah. Say no more, madam. Then it’s a completely different matter.” “Thank you. So, may I enter?” “No.” “And. Why. Not.” The mistress was almost at boiling point now. “You need to talk to Mr. Parsnips first.” “And where-a do I find him?” “Just wait here, We have sent for him.” About now Sneaky decided to play her part, led her mistress away somewhat away from the gate and quickly said “Shall I perhaps get us some refreshments, Contessa?” “Yes. Thank you.” Sneaky trotted away to a nearby café and was soon back with a bottle of red wine, some bread and some cheese. The mistress thanked her and drank the wine straight from the bottle. After half an hour of waiting and the devouring of a !/4 Roqueford cheese, another stallion appeared. He began to talk to the guards who pointed in Rarity’s and Sneaky’s direction, and proceeded over to where they sat. He looked so distinguished, so urbane. And then he opened his mouth to speak.... “Oi! Evenin’ leedis! Wat kan Oi do fer ya?” Sneaky had to bite her lip hard not to laugh. That dialect combined with the mistress expression… Luckily, the mistress composed herself. “A yes-a! You are-a mister Parsnips, ah? I need to see the princess-a Twilight!” “Ah! So yer the bastard, den!” “I BEG YOUR PARDON?” “Dats the legal term fer ellegetemete choild, mess.” “Oh. Yes. Ehrm, I see-a.” “So, yer name?” “Contessa Rareza y Pomerance.” Parsnips took notes. “...Spanic...yes… yer mother name?” Rarity answered the questions, while Sneaky tried as hard to bite her lip without making a hole through it. “Jest one more question, den. Wuts yer fathers name?” “Le comte…” “No. Yer real pappy!” “Oh. Ehm… Prince Blueblood… the… seventh?” “The sevent? But ’es been dead for 27 years now. And yer were how old? 28?” “A-yes.” ”So ’e must ’ave sired yer on his deathbed.” “Really? Well…” “On the other hand, ’e was known for his libido and his illigetamete heirs covers a whole shelf. So one more is just a matter fer the books.” “So, may I meet-a di princess now?” “Well, no.” “AND WHY IN TARTAROS NOT?” “’Cause Oi don’t believe yer to be Euspanish.” “And why-a not?” “Dat accent… no pony from Euspania talks like dat. And yer forget herself one or two times. ” This proved to be too much for Rarity’s self control. She threw her hooves in the air and shouted. “Dis is completely bonkers! ’Ere am Oi, just trying to meet de princess and evrything’s gone arseways! D’yer understand how impertent dis is for me?” She stared at him, panting from her outburst. He stared back, mouth wide open, and Rarity realized that her cover was blown. “So...um...ehehehe…” “Yer from Ireband too!?” Parsnips face lit up in a smile as wide as Galway bay. Rarity smiled back, a bit more uncertain. “Aye… eh, well, me gran was. Pappy moved ’ere when ’e was 19 but it sticks, yer know.” “Oi can tell! Yer know wut, Oi never ’ave a chance to talk to a fellow Oirich! Oi, have some time over, wanna go for a pint?” ”Of cource!” Rarity was a true lady, but also a true Hayrich at heart. And a true hayrich lady NEVER said no to a drink. Sneaky was no hayrich lady, and she didn’t drink anything harder than cider (A criminal must watch her head!), and had no alternative but to hang on. They followed Parsnips to a pub not far from the castle. Sneaky did not particularly enjoy it, since she had noone to talk to and the pub was empty save for them and the bartender. The mistress and Parsnips had a great time though, sharing stories and talking so fast that Sneaky didn’t understand a word. Finally Parsnips arose. ”Well, it’s been a pleasure, leddes, but Oi need to go. Duties.” ”Ah yes. But… kan yer please arrange so Oi can meet de princess?” ”Sorry, but no.” ”Why not? Won’t yer help a fellow hayrish?” ”Fraid so, Lass. Me hooves are tied. Yer still not noble.” ”Oi am!” ”No yer not.” ”And why not?” The mistress had taken almost a fighting stance, but Parsnips was untouched and gave the final blow to her. ”Prince Blueblood de seventh hated Ireband. ’E would ’ave died rather den sired foals der. Have a good night, leedies.” As he left, Sneaky turned her head. The mistress eyes were glowing red, her fangs was bared and she had managed to flatten her tin pint to a coaster. Her voice were filled with cold steel. ”A cab home, thrall. And fast. If it’s not here in two minutes, I run for him, eat him, the whole guard and some of the servants at that bistro. And I believe you DON'T want to wash that much blood out of your clothes." After that turn of events, Sneaky had waited the whole ride for the mistress to explode. However, to her surprise, the mistress did nothing but stare and bite her lip, until they were almost at home when she spoke up with the same steely voice as earlier. ”Thrall. I am very, very disappointed. I am furious, one could say. I am, actually, completely PISSED OFF! And tonight I WILL kill something, messy fur or not. Lock yourself in, thrall, and it won’t be you.” ”But, mistress…” ”Two weeks! Thrall, two weeks! In two weeks I MUST see Twilight. And if this is how it's going to be, thick guards and ossified clerks, it will go completely arseways!” Sneaky nodded quickly, but couldn’t help asking, “Why two weeks?” “BECAUSE!” The mistress screamed. Even the experienced cab pony turned his head. Sneaky decided it was best to be quiet, and the cab pony shrugged his shoulder. He had probably seen worse. Shortly after that, they were home. ”72 Carfax. That’s 7 bits. Heh. and here I thought the masquerade was next week.” The cab pony’s words were more or less meant to himself. However, though The mistress had began to trot away from the cab as Sneaky paid, at his words she turned to him instantly. ”What. was. that?” ”Well, eeeh… Beg pardon, ma'am but eeeh...  With those fancy dresses and with that fancy way you speak… It’s almost like you were going to the Equinox Masquerade. Coming from the castle and all. But I guess I’s wrong, cause that’s next week.” The next moment, he had Rarity in his face, eyes red and wearing a weird smile. ”You will tell me everything you know about this. Now. And I will triple your tip.” The stallions laughed nervously. ”Oh, um… Thank ya kindly! But it’s not much to say. I just see them arrive and go.The whole of Canterlot lite and the nobles, huge dresses, domino masks and sometimes really strange stuff. Both the princesses attend, princess Twilight is the one who’s in charge and…” “Princess Twilight? Is she really? How come I didn’t find anything about this? Thank you my good stallion. Sneaky, tip the nice man and meet me inside!” Sneaky payed, and soon she found her mistress at the table, pen and note in her magic. “This, thrall, changes EVERYTHING! I need to know everything about this! Tonight, I will hunt, but not for blood… for INFORMATION! Thrall, drug me three pegasi and one earth pony and bring them here in one hour. Then you may retire for the night. You need the rest. Tomorrow the important part begins!” “You… are going to plan something?” “No. I am going to design A DRESS!”