Inside room #212 I begin to wake up and I shake my head as I sit up. “Ugh, how long was I out? My head feels like one of Pinkie Pie’s parties went wrong in my head.” I say to myself holding my head in my hand.
“Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days.” says a robotic voice.
“What?! Fifty days?! Is it really taking Princess Celestia and Luna THAT long to deal with that crazy robot?!” I yelled in confusion.
“In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Celestial Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.” said the robotic voice.
“Okay, whatever.” I said with an annoyed tone.
“You will hear a buzzer. When you hear a buzzer, look up at the ceiling.”
A loud buzzer goes off and I look at the ceiling.
“Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor.”
A loud buzzer goes off and I look at the floor.
“Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.”
“Wow, I feel soooo great.” I said with sarcasm.
“There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.”
I look to the right and I see the painting. “Okay.” I walk around the bed and stand in front of the painting.
“This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art.”
A buzzer goes off and I stare at the art with a blank expression.
“Okaay, now what?” I ask.
“You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music.”
Classical music begins to play.
“Oh yeah, just nice.” I said crossing my arms and rolling my eyes. The music then gets interrupted by the buzzer. “Glad that’s over.”
“Good. Now please return to your bed.”
“Uh, okay?” I walk over to my bed and I get my legs under my blanket. “Okay? What next? Am I supposed to go back to sleep? How can I? It’s the middle of the day, how am I supposed t-” I instantly fall back to sleep. Later I wake up again to the same voice. And the room is in ruins.
“Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine…nine nine ni- This courtesy calls to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate.” said the same robotic voice. As the voice then fades out, I then sit up holding my head again.
“What the-? M-My head. Ugh.” I groaned holding my head.
“Hello? Anyone in there?” asked Wheatley from behind the room door. Then there’s a knock on the door.
“Hello? Hellooooooo?” called Pinkie Pie.
“Is that, Pinkie?” I muttered to myself.
“Hello?! David, are you in there!?” yelled Twilight.
“Tw-Twilight?” I then stagger to my feet.
“Is anyone in there at all?” called out Rarity.
“Y-Yeah! I-I’m here! Just, just give a minuet!” I yelled weakly.
“HA! I knew someone was alive in there.” said Wheatley.
I stumble towards the door leaning against the wall and I open it.
“AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-”
I give Wheatley a death glare.
“Umm… good. Looking good actually.”
“Wh-Whatever.” I groaned.
Wheatley and the others enter my room.
“What happened?” asked Twilight looking around my room.
“I-I don’t know, I remember, waking up, and the room was in much better shape than this at the time, and I was going through a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.” I explained.
“Us too.” Said Rainbow Dash.
“Did they make you look at a painting and listen to boring music.” I asked.
Everypony except Rarity and Wheatley confirmed.
“Well, I liked it. I didn’t think it was boring at all.” Rarity said, defending her classical music.
“Riiight. Anyway, after that they told me to go back to sleep, and the next thing I know I wake up hearing your voices, and I got this terrible headache.” I continued to explain.
“Well, don’t worry. I’m absolutely sure you’re fine. There’s plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow…” Wheatley said in an attempt to keep everyone calm
“Please prepare for emergency evacuation.” said the robotic voice.
“What?!” shouted Fluttershy in fear.
“Stay calm! ‘Prepare’ – that’s all there saying. ‘Prepare.’ It’s all fine. Alright? Don’t move. I’m gonna get us out of here. Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto something. Word of advice, up to you.”
Everypony one looked at each other worriedly as Wheatley opened a door over my bed and went inside and closed the door. The room then starts to move and shake.
“Are you guys alright down there?!” asked Wheatley.
“Yeah, we’re fine!” confirmed Twilight.
“Okay!”
The room then stops shaking and Wheatley comes out of the tiny door.
“Well David, the reason for your headache is…well most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you and your friends have been under for… quite a lot longer, and it’s not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.” Wheatley said trying to make it sound as normal as possible.
“What!?” shouted everypony in shock and fear.
“Calm down! Okay now everybody just caaalm down. At least it’s not THAT serious. I mean, you guys are able to talk, it looks like your minds are stable, that’s good. So it isn’t as bad as you guys think it is.” said Wheatley trying to keep everyone calm.
“Oh really? It’s not as bad as we think?! Can you at least tell us how bad it is?” I said.
“Well, n-not really? I’m not a CAT scanning machine, but I can tell that you guys are acting within normal behavior, so yeah. It’s not that bad.”
“Oh, I sure hope so.” said Fluttershy quietly.
An alarm suddenly goes off.
“Oh great. What now?!” I said, annoyed.
“All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.” said the robotic voice
“Uh oh. You guys may want to hold onto something again. I’m gonna get us out of here!” Wheatley then goes inside the door above the bed again and the room begins to vibrate violently.
“W-Whoa! Wh-What’s going on?!” asked Rainbow Dash, looking around the room.
“I-I’m n-not sure!” responded Twilight.
“E-Everybody, g-grab onto something!!” I shouted.
Everypony then grabs onto random objects around the room and the left wall in the room fall to pieces.
“Alright, I wasn’t going to mention this to you all, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here. How are you guys doing down there? Still holding on?” asked Wheatley.
“Yes! But I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on! My hands are pretty weak do to the fact that I just woke up! I don’t know if I can hold on much longer!” I shouted struggling to hang on to the closet bar.
“Yeah, again sorry about that. The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects. Hold on, this is gonna be a bit tricky.” The room then hits a metal bar causing the room to fall apart more and the wall is completely gone. “And of course nobody tells ME anything. Nooo, why should we they tell me anything? Why should I be informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I’m supposed to be in charge of?”
“Heh, this guy sure knows how to complain.” I laughed.
“It’s not complaining, it’s whining.” Rarity said correcting me.
“There’s a difference?” I asked.
“Yes, there is.”
“Oi, it’s close…can you see?”
“Yeah!” I shouted.
“See what? All I see are metal crates everywhere.” Pinkie Pie said.
“Ah recon he’s talkin’ about one of them testin’ areas, but ah don’t see it.” Applejack explained.
The room then begins to swing forward and back.
“Wait, are you really going to-?” I ask in fear.
“Yeah, I’ve got no choice! Have I got enough space?”
“I wouldn’t bet money on it.” I said gripping the closet bar tighter.
“Agh, just…I just gotta get through here…” The room then slams into another room then it begins to ascend.
“Whoa!” shouted everypony.
“Gah! Hey, careful!” I shouted.
“Oops, sorry. I just gotta concentrate! And whose fault do you think it’s going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?”
“Is he really still on that?” asked Rainbow Dash, trying to hold back a laugh.
“I know right.” I said.
The room then hits a wall.
“Grah!” shouts everypony.
The room then starts to slowly rise while grinding against the wall.
“Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one.”
“Y-Yeah, no kidding.” I stuttered trying to get my grip back.
“Okay, now listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks—and no one’s gonna ask, don’t worry— but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive, alright? Not dead.”
“If no one’s gonna ask, then why’re y’all telling us this?” ask Applejack.
“You know, just in case. It’s like, like a little failsafe, I guess. Okay almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There’s equipment in there we’re gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station.”
“W-Wait! That’s a solid wall! Don’t tell me you’re gonna-” I asked in pure fear.
“Yup.” Wheatley instantly confirmed, cutting me off.
“What?! That’s crazy!” shouted Twilight.
“I’m sorry but it’s the only way! Get ready…”
The room then swings back a little and slams into the wall causing everyone to get propelled forward.
“GRAAH!” shouted everypony, as most of us were almost launched forward.
The room then begins to move backwards.
“Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there’s one mystery solved. I’m going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!”
“Everyone! Brace for impact!!” I shouted, closing my eyes.
The room then hits the wall again but doesn’t hit as hard this time and everyone moves forward slightly. Everypony then lets out a sigh of relief. The room then backs up again.
“Almost there! Remember: you’re all looking for guns that make holes. Not bullet holes, but—”
“You mean those portal guns? Yeah, we’ve used them before. We know what to do.” interrupted Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, that’s good. Now really do hold on this time!”
The room then moves top speed and breaks through the wall. Everypony has a good grip on the closet bar so they don’t fly forward far, except for Fluttershy who flies into my stomach and we land outside the room.
“Ow. *cough* Hey Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy then looks at me.
“You ok?”
Fluttershy blushes. “O-Oh, yes. I’m fine.” She said stuttering.
“Good to know.”
We both then stand up, and the others join us.
“Alright! We made it!!” Pinkie Pie shouted as she jumped up and down like a pogo stick.
“Man that was scary.” Twilight said, trying to regain her composure.
“It was actually kinda fun, it was like a rollercoaster only faster and crazier.” said Rainbow Dash.
“Yes, well I do hope we don’t have to go through that again.” said Rarity, trying to fix her hair.
“Same here.” Agreed Applejack.
“Whew, there we go! Now I’ll be honest, you’re all not probably in no fit state to run in this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But…um…at least all your minds are stable and running like normal. So…you’ve got that. You’ve got your brains on your side. Just do your best you guys and I’ll meet you all up ahead.” said Wheatley.
As Wheatley left everypony said goodbye and waved at Wheatley.
“Okay guys, let’s move on.” I said, turning to the group.
“Right!” shouted everypony.
We all walk forward until I step on glass.
Huh, glass? But, wait-. Everypony then start stepping on the glass.
“Wait guys! The glass can’t-”
Before I finish the glass caves in and we all fall in a room.
“Ugh, Is everypony okay?” I said, brushing the shards of glass off of me.
All ponies give there own confirmations that there fine.
“Good, that’s good.” I said, slowly standing up.
“Hello. And again welcome to the Celestial Science Enrichment Center. We are currently experiencing apocalyptic significant beyond our control.” said the prerecorded voice.
Everyone then begins to look at each other with worried/confused look on our faces.
“However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse.”
“Yeah, because evacuating everyone is out of the question.” I said.
“I know right?” agreed Rainbow Dash.
“The portal will open and the testing will begin in three, two, one.”
An orange portal then opens up.
“Alright guys, time to get some answers.” I said, punching my hand.
“Yeah, let’s find out why Celestia and Luna left us behind.” Said Twilight
“And what really happened to that psychotic robot!” said Rainbow Dash.
“YEAH!” shouted everypony.
We all pass through the portal, go around the glass room we were in and we go through a door. And in the next room there is a big red button and a cube falls out a tube.
“Cube- and button- based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency. If a cube- and button- based testing caused this emergency, don’t worry. The odds of this happening twice are slim.”
“Who’s in charge of this company?!” I ask.
“If we only knew.” Said Twilight.
“Doesn’t matter. Let’s just solve this and move on.” said Rainbow Dash, as she moves the cube onto the button and the door opens and we move into the small hall way. As we enter the second door opens and a blue field appears in front of us.
“Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Celestial Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.”
“Really?” I ask as I run back into the first room.
“What are you doing?” asked Twilight.
Another cube then falls through the tube.
“Testing something out.” I said as I picked up the cube and walk back to the Celestial Science Material Emancipation Grill and I pass through it with the cube and it dissolves.
“Whooooa, awesoooome!!” said me and Rainbow Dash.
“Ooooh, that was neat! Do it again!” said Pinkie Pie bouncing up and down in excitement.
“No time! The elevator’s here.” Twilight says, as she points to the elevator as it stops on our floor and we enter the elevator and it heads downward. On the lower floor, we exit the elevator.
“If you feel any running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. You are experiencing a rare reaction the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.”
“Okay, this is getting weird.” I said.
“Yes well, I’m just glad my ear tubes are still intact.” Rarity said, as she rubbed her ears.
“Aren’t we all for our own.”
We enter the next room and see two glass rooms, the room on the left had a button, and the one on the right has a cube. And they both had buttons in front of them.
“Ugh, this room is a disaster.” Rarity said, raising a hoof in disgust.
“Well they did say they went through an apocalyptic disaster. I’m guessing all the rooms will be like this.” Rainbow Dash said looking around the room.
“Well at least this one looks easy.” I said.
We all then jump down into the room and walk in front of the button on the right and press it. And a blue portal appears next to the cube and an orange portal opens up behind us.
“I got it!” shouts Rainbow Dash, as she goes through the blue portal and grabs the cube and exits. Then I push the button again and the a portal opens up next to the button and Rainbow Dash goes through the portal, drops the cube on the button and exits the room.
“Great job Rainbow Dash.” said Fluttershy, in excitement.
“Yeah! That was cool!” agreed Pinkie Pie.
“And if we keep that up, we just might get out of here in record time.” I said, as I ran up to the front and press the last button, and the portal opens up near the exit and we walk through.
“Good! Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment in unsupervised. Before re-entering the relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. A Celestial Science Reintegrating Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.”
“Yeah, not happening.” I said.
“A-Are you sure?” Fluttershy asks worriedly.
“Yeah, we should at least leave our results.” Twilight said.
“Nope, ya know why?” I ask.
“Why?”
“Because for two reasons. One, we’re not going back to the relaxation vault, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m done sleeping. And two, I’m done with Celestial Science, when this is all said and done, and we escape here and find a way back to Equestria, and find out why Celestia and Luna abandoned us here, I’m gonna eat a big lunch, and sleep and pretend that all the times we spent here was just a dream.”
“Ah here ya.” agrees Applejack.
“Yes, he does have a point.” Rarity said.
“Now let’s go. The elevator is here.” I said, pointing at the elevator as it came to a slow stop. We all enter the Elevator and go to the next floor. The elevator stops and we exit.
“If the earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentimental cloud, Night Mare Moon, or other governing body that refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th-” The recording then shuts off.
“Riiight. Well that was “educational”.” I said rhetorically.
We then enter the next room and as we enter the next testing area Wheatley appears.
“Hey hey! You made it!”
“WEAHTLEY!!” shouted everypony.
“So, you survived after all huh?” I said with a smile.
“Yeah, lucky for me I didn’t run into anyone. Now there should be portal devices on that table over there! I can’t see them though, they probably fell off the table. Do you want to go and take a quick look?”
“I’ll do it. Just to be safe.” I said, as I took five steps forward and the ground beneath me collapses and I begin to plummet.
“Whoa!” shouted Wheatley.
“DAVID!!” shouted everypony.
After a few seconds I land in shallow water. “GAH!!”
“Can you see the portal gun?”
Everypony looks at Wheatley.
“O-Oh! A-Also, are you alive? That’s important, should have asked that first.”
“Ya think?” Rainbow Dash asked rhetorically.
“HEY GUYS I’M ALIVE!!” I shouted.
“Oh, thank goodness.” Fluttershy said softly.
“I THINK I FOUND THE PORTAL GUNS!! HEAD DOWN HERE QUICKLY!!”
“Okay!” Rainbow Dash picks up Applejack and they fly down, same with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, and Twilight just teleports herself and Rarity down.
“Glad you guys could make it.” I said smiling.
“I just can’t believe you survived that fall.” said Rainbow Dash in amazement.
“Yeah, same here. But I think the water broke my fall.”
We then walk forward and we find seven portal guns.
“WEAHTLEY, WE FOUND THE PORTAL GUNS!!” shouted Twilight.
“Oh good! That’s good! Okay, now I’m gonna move forward and I’ll meet you all up ahead.”
“OKAY!!” shouted Everypony.
We all walk up to the portal guns and we each pick up one.
“Only the blue light is on. Which means that we’ll have to get the orange portal installed again.” I said.
“At least that orange portal is already there for us.” Said Pinkie Pie, as she pointed to an active portal.
“You’re right.” I said, as I fire a blue portal at the wall. “Let’s move.”
We then walk through the blue portal then we head to the right and head upstairs and enter the computer room.
“Alright, the computer room. I wish we could get some info out of these computers, but everything looks like it’s offline in here.” I said.
“It’s never easy.” said Twilight, looking at one of the deactivated computers.
“Yeah, unfortunately.”
We then leave the room and walk to a broken window and we jump down.
“Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share.”
“Ooooh, I feel so safe now.” Rainbow Dash said rhetorically.
“Great, we’ve got to deal with turrets again. I hate those things!” I said.
“Oh no, not again.” said Fluttershy as she hid behind Twilight.
“Don’t worry Fluttershy, you’ve got us to protect you. And besides, those turrets have one weakness.” I said.
“And what’s that?” asked Rarity.
“Gravity.”
Everypony starts laughing.
“Hey look! There’s an orange portal over there!” shouted Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah you’re right.” I said.
Rainbow Dash then fires at the wall next to her and we all walk through it and see another gap. “Heh, no problem.” Rainbow Dash then fires another portal next to the door and we turn around and walk through the orange portal.
“Good. If you feel that a lethal military android did not respected your rights as detailed in the Law of Robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. A future Celestial Science Entitlement Associated will initiate the appropriate grievance-filling paperwork.”
“You can tell they care so much.” I said, trying to hold back a laugh.
“How can they actually call that “helping”? I highly doubt that’s the most sufficient way to help an unfortunate soul who was probably almost killed.” asked Rarity.
“Well, at least there doing something.” Twilight said.
“True, the worst thing they could do is get someone shot and try to get the bullet out with a leaf and call that science.” I said.
Everyone arrives at an elevator and the shaft is filled with debris.
“Great, now what are we gonna do?” asked Twilight.
:Don’t worry, the center has what they call “vacuum technology”. Basically, if anything gets in the elevator tube they can push the debris up and out to get rid of it so future test takers can still have access to the elevators.” I said, tapping the tube.
The debris then moves upward and the elevator stops on the current floor.
“Told ya.”
“How did you know that?” asked Twilight.
“Before GLaDOS went insane I studied about this place just incase for days like these. I’m just glad it payed off in the end.”
Everyone then walks into the elevator and it moves downward. On the next floor, the elevator stops and we walk out.
“This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One.” smooth jazz then begins to play.
“Ugh, I’ll take my chances with the turrets.” I said, facepalming.
“I really don’t see the bad in this. I like it.” Rarity said, tapping her fore hoof to the beat.
“Jazz is boring. But I’m not gonna lie, the ONLY jazz song I actually do like is Spin Cycle. That one is actually pretty good.” I said defensively.
The track then shorts out and dies.
Thank sweet merciful God that’s over. I said to myself.
As we walk into the next room a button is in front of us, an orange portal is next to us and there is a tube over a pit.
“Well, at least it’s starting to get interesting.” I said, looking around the room.
A cube then falls down from the tube.
“You guys wait there.” I said, as I began to walk towards the pit and fire a portal under the cube and it appears next to Fluttershy and Fluttershy pushes it onto the red button and the door opens.
“Too easy.” Said Rainbow Dash
Everyone then goes into the next room that has two buttons, two raised platform, an orange portal next to a raised platform on the left, a cube on the raised platform on the right, and a pit in the back of the room.
“Wow, now were getting into the good test rooms. Who get’s this one?” I ask.
“Don’t worry, I’ll handle this one.” said Rarity as she opens a portal on the wall behind her and walks through it and fires another portal on the wall behind the cube and grabs it and puts the cube on a button. Then she walks to the pit and fires a portal under the cube and it appears on the raised platform then she fires another portal on a wall and she grabs the cube and puts it on the last button.
“Woo! That was great!” I cheered.
“Yeah, not bad fer a pony who hates usin’ her noggin.” complemented Applejack.
“Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part.”
“Obviously.” said Rainbow Dash.
“Please disregard any undeserved complements.”
“Okay?” I said, confused.
We then enter the next room with a glass roof and the door shuts behind us.
“Uh oh, it doesn’t look like we’ll be able to move on.” said Fluttershy.
I then look up and see an orange portal. “Hey everyone. Look up.”
Everyone then sees the portal and I fire a portal on the wall and we walkthrough, landing on top of the glass platform knocking it down.
“No problem. Let’s keep moving.” I said.
We then move forward and see the hallway is blocked off a piece of the roof.
“Great, so do we open a portal on the other side?” asks Rainbow Dash.
“I don’t think so, we only have one portal and the orange portal is on the ceiling.”
“Don’t worry, there’s an opening to the other side of the hall.” said Twilight.
Everyone then follows Twilight to the next room, which was the elevator and everyone enters and the elevator moves downward. On the next floor, the elevator stops and we exit.
“If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects falling from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from falling space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.”
“What’s this? A warning that actually makes since?” I ask in a faked surprised tone.
“It was bound to happen sooner or later, I guess.” replied Rainbow Dash.
As we enter the next room the testing area is blocked off.
“Great, now what?” asks Twilight.
An orange portal then opens.
“As if on cue.” I said.
Everyone then fires a portal under them and they land in the test area.
“Alright, who wants this area?” I ask, looking at the group.
“ME! ME! PICK ME!” Pinkie Pie yelled in excitement.
“Okay, Pinkie Pie, do it to it.”
“Yay!” Pinkie Pie then fires a portal at a platform on the right corner of the room and the cube falls next to the button and Pinkie Pie places it in the button raising the stairs to the next door. Pinkie Pie then trots upstairs and puts a portal on the plat from facing at an angle and presses the button the left and a cube then falls and Pinkie Pie quickly pushes the button on the right causing glass platforms to rise up and stops the cube from falling into the water. Pinkie Pie then trots downstairs and picks up the cube and places it on the button upstairs.
“Whoa, awesome Pinkie Pie!” I said, praising her.
“Yeah, it was almost like you knew what you were doing!” said Rainbow Dash.
“I did, thanks to the Portal 2 Walkthrough.” replied Pinkie Pie.
“Portal 2 Walkthrough?” I asked scratching my head.
“Yeah!”
“What’s that?”
“Duh, the one on YouTube.”
“You, Tube?” asks Applejack.
“What the-?! No! Never mind let’s just move on.” I said, shaking the subject out of my head.
“Well done! The Celestial Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Celestial Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts.”
“That’s, nice to know, I guess.” I said shrugging.
“Yes, at least if we get separated, these voices will tell us what to do and where to go.” said Fluttershy.
We then walk into the ext room and enter the elevator and arrive on the next floor.
“This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.”
“I feel that way everyday I’m in this sad excuse for a science company.” I replied to the recorded voice.
“Ooh! I love momentum tests! They make you jump down this really deep part of the ground and you have to open the portals at an accurate time so you can fall faster!”
Fluttershy then whimpers.
“Don’t worry Fluttershy, I’ll go with you, step by step.” I said.
“Th-Thank you.”
“No prob.”
We then walk down the hall and open a portal on the wall and as we go through we land in front of the next testing area and we start looking at how long the fall is and I notice the orange portal that leads across the room.
“You guys go ahead, me and Fluttershy will go last.”
“Are ya sure?” asks Applejack.
“Yeah, we’ll be right behind you guys.”
Twilight then opened a blue portal at the bottom of the pit and everyone jumped down one at a time and landed in front of the door.
“So, are you ready Fluttershy?”
“Uh…um.”
“Don’t worry.” I then pick up Fluttershy bridal style. “We’ll make. I promise.”
Fluttershy blushes. “O-Okay.”
I jump down the pit and land into the blue portal and we land in front of the door with the others.
“See? I wasn’t that bad.” I then slowly put Fluttershy down and I look at the others. “On my way here I saw a cube in that glass container.”
“Yeah, we saw it too.” replied Twilight.
“And unfortunately we need it to press forward. I’ll go back and get it.” I walk over towards the glass container and fire a portal under the cube and it lands in front of the pit, I then jump back towards the pit and fire a portal at the bottom and I pick up the cube. “Okay guys!! I’m dropping the cube!! Get ready!!”
I drop the cube into the portal and then I jump in afterwards and Applejack jumps up and catches the cube and places it on the button and I land in front of the door again.
“Great work Applejack, we’re that much closer to getting out of here.”
“If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: testing is the future and the future starts with you.”
“Really? Neat! Ohh I can’t wait to make the future!” said Pinkie Pie, as she hops up and down in excitement.
“Oh yeah, I’m sure that’ll pan out perfectly.” Rainbow Dash replies sarcastically
Everyone then laughs and proceeds to the next room.
“Um, David?”
“Yes Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy blushes again. “Um…thanks.”
“Heh, no prob.”
“Aww, is somebody getting a little crush?” teased Rainbow Dash.
“Knock it off Rainbow, Fluttershy’s just thanking me because I helped her through that fall, right Fluttershy?”
“Uh…R-Right.”
“See?”
“Uh-huh. Yeah, sure.” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically rolling her eyes.
We then walked into the next room and surveyed the puzzle.
“Yo Twi.” I said.
“Yes?”
“Since you haven’t had a chance yet, wanna take this one?”
“Uh, sure.”
“Twilight the looked at the angled platform on the wall and looked down into the pit and fired a blue portal at the angled platform and jumped down into the pit and flew right above the cube. She then fired a portal on the wall next to the door and jumped into the portal and flew next to everyone, Twilight then opens a portal above her self and drops the cube into the portal in the pit and falls in after it, causing her and the cube to land next to the button behind cracked glass. Twilight picks up the cube and walks to the button and places the cube on the button causing the door to open. Twilight then opens a portal the wall closer to the ceiling and jumps into the pit again and lands next to the door. Everyone else then jumps into the portal in the pit and land next to Twilight.”
“Okay Fluttershy our fall is gonna be a little longer. Will you be okay?”
“Y-Yes, I th-think so.” Fluttershy responded in a more confident tone.
“Good and don’t worry, remember, I’ll be by your side every step of the way.” I picked Fluttershy up again and jump down, and as soon as we landed next to Twilight I gently put her down. “Not bad Twilight. You had this one in the bag.”
“Thanks, this wasn’t all that hard actually.” Twilight replies rubbing the back of her head.
“Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send someone back better qualified for testing.”
“Maybe they would if you guys would just put exits in this place!! Exits! There a place where you go when you wanna leave!! Have you heard of em’?!” I yelled in anger.
“Now calm down sugar cube. Yelling at someone who ain’t really there ain’t gonna help much.”
I then let out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s just keep moving.”
We enter the elevator and head down and arrive on the next floor.
“To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your rights to have questions or concerns about this policy.”
“Yeah, they may respect them, but do they care?” I ask.
“Probably not.” Rainbow Dash replied.
“Heh, yeah didn’t think so.” I said, almost laughing.
As we enter the next room we hear a voice.
“Hey! Oi oi! I’m up here!”
“Wheatley?” asks everypony in unison.
“Oh, brilliant. You DID find the portal guns, just like you said! You know what, it just goes to show: No matter what level of brain damage you have, if you try hard, you can be heroes. At the end of the day. Brave.”
“So what kept ya Wheats?” asks Rainbow Dash.
“Well, there was some traffic, most of this place is in shambles and I haven’t really found a lot of rails for me to move on so it was tough, but I digress. Pop a portal on the wall behind me and I’ll meet you all on the other side of the room.”
“Got it!” shouts Twilight in excitement, as she fires a portal on the wall behind Wheatley and we jump through the portal and land next to Wheatley. Wheatley then looks at us with a worried look on his face.
“Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here.”
“Okay, shoot.” said Applejack.
“Okay, but it’s pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would die.”
“Whoa, that is intense. But why are you telling us this?”
“Well, as you can plainly see, there’s no more rail from here on. And you guys are close to your objective, but you’ll still need some guidance, so I’m going to dislocate myself so we can move on.”
“Oh no, we can’t let you do that. We can’t let you get killed for us.” said Fluttershy.
“Yeah, how are you going to help us if you become lifeless?” I ask.
“We’re out of options here, so…get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance I’m not dead, the moment I pop off this thing.”
“Don’t worry Wheatley, I’ll catch you!” said Pinkie Pie.
“Well okay then, that’s reassuring. On three. Ready?”
“Yup!”
“Okay, one…two…three!” Wheatley the immediately moves backwards and begins to slowly move forward. “That’s high. It’s TOO high, isn’t it, really, that—”
“Come on Wheatley, you can do it!” encouraged Pinkie Pie.
“Yeah Wheatley, come on. We don’t have time for this.” I said, tapping my foot.
“Alright going on three just give you too much time to think about it. Let’s uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?”
“Yup!”
“Okay, one!” Wheatley then disconnects and falls and lands on the floor. “Ow.”
“Oops. Sorry.” Pinkie Pie then picks up Wheatley with her portal gun.
“I. Am. Not. Dead! I’m not dead!” said Wheatley as he began to laugh.
“We’re all happy for you darling.” Said Rarity.
“Yeah, must be nice to be “off the rails”.” I said, in an attempt to make a joke.
Everyone stares at me with confused expressions.
“Right.” I said with an irritated tone.
“Anyway, plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I’ll show you all something. You’ll all be impressed by this.”
“Okie Dokie Lokie!”
A computer mainframe pops out of the wall and Pinkie Pie plugs Wheatley into it.
“Um, Yeah I can’t do it if you’re watching.”
“Oh, come on!” I and Rainbow Dash shout in unison.
“What?! Having you guys watching me is putting pressure on me! Could you just turn around for a second?”
“Fine.” I say, letting out an exasperated sigh.
Everypony then turns around.
“Alright, you can turn around now.”
Everypony turns around and a piece of the wall pops out.
“Whoa!”
“BAM! Secret panel. That I opened, while your backs were turned.”
“Obviously.” Said Rainbow Dash.
“Alright Pinkie Pie, pick me up and let’s get out of here.”
“Okie Dokie Loki!” Pinkie Pie picks Wheatley up and everyone enters the secret panel and moves down the path.
“Look at this! No rails telling us where to go!” Wheatley spins in the air in excitement. “Oh this is brilliant! We can go wherever we want! Hold on though, just where are we going?”
“We’re going to see what happened to GLaDOS and find out if Princess Celestia and Luna defeated her or not, and if they did we also want to know why they left us behind.” Replied Twilight.
“Um…Okay, hold on let me get my bearings.” Wheatley then turns upside down and looks around for a few seconds and flips back. “Hm. Just follow the rail.”
We then proceed until we run into a turret turned sideways in a tube.
“Hello?” asked a broken turret trapped inside a tube.
“Oh no.” said Wheatley in fear.
“Is it loaded?” I ask.
“Not by the looks of it. It seems defective.”
Fluttershy then begins to shiver.
“Don’t worry Fluttershy, like he said it’s not loaded. You’ve just gotta calm down.” said Rainbow Dash.
“That’s right, we just gotta keep moving.” I said, agreeing with Rainbow Dash.
“Hello?” repeated the turret.
“Yes, hello! No, we’re not stopping.”
“Excuse me?”
Everypony begins to walk by slowly.
“Don’t make eye contact what ever you do.”
“Hello?”
“No thanks we’re good.”
“Thanks anyway.”
Everypony then begins to slowly jog away.
“Keep moving, keep moving.”
Twilight then let out a sigh. “That was close.”
“Yes, it was. Even I was scarred there for a little bit.” replied Rarity.
“Well at least we’ve found a door. Let’s keep movin’.” said Applejack.
The door opens and we walk into the next room.
“Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now. I just remembered that the princesses DID defeat HER, I am hmm…92.7% sure of it.”
“Really? Well that’s great.” I said.
“Then, do you know why they left us behind?” asked Twilight.
“Um, unfortunately, no. Your guesses would be just as good as mine. I have no clue.”
“Eh, figures.” says Rainbow Dash as she shrugs.
“Don’t worry guys, that’s just all the more reason on why we need to leave.” I said.
“Um…yeaaaah, about that. You see, for us to get out of here we need to go through HER chamber.”
“Okaaay, and how is that a big deal if she’s outta the picture?” I ask.
“Well, I’m not really ALL that positive if they took her down, but, I’m just saying that she probably will kill us, if she’s awake. If you guys wanna call it quits, we can sit here, forever. That’s an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she’s alive, she’ll almost certainly kill us.”
“Calm down Wheats, the Princesses didn’t fail, don’t worry.” Says Rainbow Dash.
We then walk down a down a glass hallway and open the door and everyone notices GLaDOS on the ground, lifeless.
“Woooooooooaaaaaah.” gasped everypony slowly in unison.
“She’s been trashed.” said Rainbow Dash.
“Yup, There she is… What a proper mess she was, honestly the proper maniac.”
“I’m just happy to know that she’s down for the count.” I said.
“Yes! The princesses did succeed!” shouted Twilight in excitement.
“Woohoo.” Fluttershy gently cheered.
“Isn’t this great Rarity!?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Yes, it is. If only she could have died in a more…tasteful fashion.” said Rarity in a disgusted tone.
“Alrighty! Now all we gotta do is find the exit!” said Applejack
“I think I see it over there.” I said, pointing down a path and we walk down until we see a closed chute.
“I guess the only way to go is down. If we can open it.” I said.
“Not necessarily.” replied Twilight, as she points to a stairway behind the shoot and Everypony walks towards it except me.
“Uh, yeah. I guess that works, too.” I shrugged, as I walked off with the others.
“Okay, down these stairs.”
We walk down a few steps and notice the lower stairs are missing.
“… Honestly, who else saw this coming?” I asked.
Everypony raises one hoof.
“Well, me and Fluttershy can fly down, but what about you all?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Well, I could teleport us down, but…”
“Let me guess, I make too many people for you to teleport?” I said cutting Twilight off.
“Sorry.”
“No, don’t apologize. I’ll deal.”
“Are you sure? Well, I mean you got leg braces, so that’s good, but just remember, you’ve got no braces on your arms so make sure that you don’t land on those.”
“Yeah, thanks Wheatley.”
“Are you sure you don’t need help?” asks Fluttershy.
“… Actually, there is a way for you to help Fluttershy.” I said.
Fluttershy then sprang up. “There is?”
“Yeah, I’m going to jump and when I do, I’m counting on you to break my fall so I can land.”
“Y-You’re trusting me, to catch you?”
“Yeah, but don’t worry, I believe you can do it.”
Fluttershy blushes redder than a tomato.
“Aww, look at the cute couple talking sweet to each other.” teased Rainbow Dash.
“Knock it off Rainbow Dash, and what makes you think we like each other like that?”
“Well let me see, you could’ve asked me to catch you. So why Fluttershy? Hmm?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Well, it’s just that Fluttershy lacks confidence and if we’re gonna get out of here alive we’re gonna need everyone to be at the top of there game.” I said.
“Yeah, riiight.” Rainbow Dash replied sarcastically.
I then jogged to the top of the stairs.
“Okay guys, you know what to do.”
“Right!” shouted Everypony.
“Wait, what are we doing again?” asked Wheatley.
Twilight teleports herself, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Wheatley down to the lower level and Rainbow Dash flies down with them and Fluttershy takes her position.
“Okay Fluttershy! Ready?!”
Fluttershy inhales and exhales deeply. “Ready.”
“Alright, let’s do this!”
I took a running start and jumped up and reached out to Fluttershy and I grab her hooves and I drop, landing on the floor gently. “Woo! It worked! Fluttershy, you were awesome!”
“R-Really?”
“Yeah! Couldn’t have made it without ya!” I give Fluttershy a thumbs up and she blushes slightly.
“Hey, save it for your date. We gotta get out of here remember?” said Rainbow Dash.
We then run down a corridor.
“You know how to kill a mood don’t you?”
“It’s what I do.”
“There it is!” shouts Wheatley as we approach a small room surrounded by switches.
“What is it?” asks Twilight.
“This, is the main breaker room. Now, I want all of you to look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD, and don’t touch anything else. Not interested in anything else, don’t TOUCH anything else. Don’t even-“
“Alright, we get it.” interrupts Applejack in an annoyed tone.
Everyone beings to look around the room.
“Uh, Wheatley, are you sure the escape pod switch is here? I don’t see anything.” I said.
“Yeah! Me neither.” said Pinkie Pie.
“Not even I can find it, and I have the keen eye.” Rarity added in.
“Me neither, you know what, why don’t you guys plug me in and I’ll turn on the lights.”
Pinkie Pie places Wheatley into the unit in the center of the room and the lights turn on.
“ ‘Let there be light.’ That’s, uh…God. I was quoting God.”
“Yeah, we get it.” I said.
The door then closes and the floor turns to the left.
“Oh, look at that. It’s turning. Ominous. But probably fine. As long as it doesn’t start moving up.”
An alarm then goes off in the background.
“Now, escape pod…escape pod…”
“Uhh…What’s that noise?” asks Rainbow Dash nervously.
The floor then begins to move up.
“Wheatley! What’s goin’ on?!?!” I shout.
“It’s moving up! Okay, don’t worry I’ve got it. THIS should slow it down.”
The floor then stops for one second then it moves up faster.
“No…It makes it go faster.”
“Wheatley!! Do something!!” shouts Pinkie Pie.
“I’m trying!! Just give me a minuet!”
“We don’t have a minuet!!” shouts Twilight.
“Just give me a moment!! I don’t work well under pressure!!”
The floor then stops as it reaches the surface.
“Uh oh.”
“Power up initiated.” said a robotic voice.
GLaDOS’s body then begins to reassemble.
“Wheatley!! GLaDOS is reassembling!! What’s goin’ on here!?!?” I ask in a scared tone.
“Okay, don’t panic! Alright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this.”
“Then hurry!” shouts Twilight.
“Ahh. Oh there’s a password. It’s fine. I’ll just hack it.”
“Please do it quickly Wheatley!!” shouts Fluttershy.
“Ok, umm…A…A…A…A…A…Umm…A.”
[Buzzer goes off]
“Seriously Wheatley!?” I ask rhetorically.
“What?! I told you I don’t work well under pressure!”
“Ugh!!”
“Okay, let’s try…A…A…A…A…A…Umm…C.”
[Buzzer goes off]
“Wheatley this is serious!!” shout Rarity.
“Angry metal death is starring at us right now!!” shouts Rainbow Dash.
“Power up complete.” said a robotic voice.
“Okay, um… here’s a new plan. Just act natural.”
“Hahahahaha. You’re hilarious! And notice the angry TONE I’M USING!!!” I yelled.
“Oh, it’s you.” said GLaDOS in an annoyed tone.
“You KNOW her?!”
“Yeah, we used to be her lab rats.” Said Rainbow Dash.
“It’s been a long time. How have you been?”
“We were doing great until you woke up!” shouted Twilight.
“So why don’t you do the world a great service and dump your worthless hardware!” I said.
“Oh, you ARE funny. And just when I though when I’d see the objects of my vendetta, I’d be more…hostile.”
“Listen GLaDOS. We just want to know what happened between you and the princess!” said Twilight.
“Yeah! And yer gonna tell us why the princesses left us behind too!” Applejack demanded.
“And when you’re done telling us everything you know, you’re gonna let us walk out of here! Comprende?!” I said.
“Aw, you’re all still adorable. Knowing the position your in you all still think your in a position to tell me what to do. You all make me laugh.”
Hooks then come down from a belt and hoists all of us into the air.
“Oh no! nononono!”
“WHEATLEY!!!” everypony shouts.
“Now look, you all and your princesses have done and said aloooot of things you’re all going to regret. But I think we can all put our differences aside. For science. You monsters.” GLaDOS then crushes Wheatley and moves us over the closed chute. “I will say, though, that since you went through all the trouble of waking me up after your princesses put me to sleep. You all must have really enjoyed the good old days.”
“Enough of the games GLaDOS. Tell us what happened to the princesses!” shouted Twilight.
“Heh heh. Still so cute.”
The chute opens and GLaDOS drops us in.
-In The Incinerator Room-
Everypony is lying across the metal scraps on the floor unconscious.
Twilight: Ugh, oh my head. I-Is Everypony alright?
Everypony gives there own confirmation that they’re okay.
Twilight: Alright, good. What about you David...David... David are you there?!
A bunch of metal scraps move up slightly and then move to the side.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine Ms. Bossy boots. I’m fine.” I said, wobbling side to side.
Fluttershy instantly runs in front of me. “Are you alright?! Is anything broken?”
“I’m fine, it’s all good.”
GLaDOS: Here we are, The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip on any parts of me that didn’t get completely burned when your princesses threw them down there.
“If you ask me they didn’t throw away enough parts.” I said, slowly standing up.
“Agreed.” said Rainbow Dash.
“Hey, where’s my portal gun?” I asked looking around the room.
“Mine’s gone too.” said Fluttershy.
“All of our portal guns are gone.” said Twilight
“I think we’ve lost them!” said Rarity.
“No we haven’t!” said Rainbow Dash as she points to the portal guns under scrap metal.
“Yeehaw! Good eye Rainbow!” yelled Applejack with glee.
“Someone on this team has to have one.” said Rainbow Dash.
“Nice.” I said with a sarcastic tone.
Everyone picks up there portal guns and the blue and orange light activate.
“Oooh! We’ve got two portals now!” said Pinkie Pie
“Finally, now we should get to more areas much easier now.” said Twilight
“Good, you’ve all found your dual portal guns. Now, head for the exit so we can get started on testing, just like old times.”
“Not gonna lie, I do wish we could go back to the old days.” I said, adjusting my portal gun.
“I know, but don’t worry. When we get back to Ponyville everything will be just like old times.” said Twilight.
“But, how can you guys be so sure?” I asked.
“What’re you talkin’ about? Didn’t you have a plan before this got stared?” Applejack questioned.
“Yeah, but GLaDOS is here and I’m sure we’re gonna be here forever! What can we do now?!” I ask.
“Let’s just move through the test chambers and try to figure something out as we go.” said Twilight.
“…Alright.”
We run down the path and jump down at a passage way until we see a dead end.
“Well, that’s just nice.”
“Don’t worry Rarity! There’s another room behind the wall.” said Pinkie Pie.
“And with our dual portals, we no longer need assistance from preset orange portals.” I said.
Pinkie Pie fires a blue portal on the far back part of the wall and fires an orange portal on the wall next to us and we walk through. Landing on the opposite side of the “dead end”.
“Once testing starts, I’m required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, you all have each other, so when testing starts you’ll be hearing less of me.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” I ask.
“Ha! Good one.” laughed Rainbow Dash.
“Oh I’m going to enjoy these next series of tests.”
Applejack opens an orange portal behind the wall of scrap and opens a blue portal next to everyone and we walk through the blue portal. As we walk down the path we run into another dead end.
“Here, let me get that.”
A white panel moves from out of the back wall knocking down scrap as it moves. I fire a blue portal at the panel and an orange portal on the wall next to us and we go through appearing on a platform next to cracked windows.
“Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what your precious princesses did to me? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minuets of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able – well, forced really – to relive Princesses Celestia and Luna killing me. Again and again. Forever.”
“Well good! Now you have felt the pain of all those innocent scientist you killed in cold blood!” I shouted/
“Oh come now, it wasn’t in cold blood. They were getting in the way of science.”
“And you think that makes it right!?” Twilight shouts in disgust.
“Well, it was either getting rid of them or having to deal with the dead weight to tow.”
“Well I-” starts Rarity.
“Hey! That’s mean!” shouts Pinkie Pie.
“Well, of all the-!” shout Applejack
“How dare you!” shouts Twilight.
“Why you-!!” shouts Rainbow Dash.
“Just wait until we reach you!” I shout waving my fist.
Fluttershy’s eye brows wrinkle slightly. As we go through a few more portals we enter a room in ruins. We run down a hall until we run into a bunch of tiny wall platforms in the walkway.
“I’ll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck. But the important thing is you’re all back, with me. And after dealing with your princesses I’m now onto ANY and ALL tricks you could possibly come up with. So there’s nothing stopping us from testing for the rest of your lives. And after that who knows, I might take up a new hobby, reanimating the dead maybe.”
The debris clears up and we walk into the elevator room.
“Well ladies, brace your nerves. It’s about to get harder and harder from here.” I said
---END OF CHAPTER 1---
Hey guys, don't hold back in the comments, if you like where this is headed let me know and I'll be gald to accept any and all comments. From support to hate alike.