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// Cutie Mark Crusaders 
// Story: Feline Fine 
// by Kaffeina 
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There comes a day in every being's life in which you would prefer to be dead, or at least unconscious. For myself, it was the day I met the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Naturally, they were cute but judging a book by it's cover almost got me killed today. For some completely unknown reason, Fluttershy had let these three fillies house sit. At fist I wasn't concerned, but that yell sent a shiver down my spine. Have you ever heard three children scream right before they put a diaper and bib on you?

I hadn't either, until today.

"Aw, wook at the widdle thang," one of them cooed. You're wondering which and I'll tell you. It was the weird cotton candy hair one. The unicorn, I think. Why do you ask why I only think? Because at this current time I am huddled underneath Fluttershy's bed watching what looks like a war zone. 

They pissed off the bear. They literally set off an eight foot tall beast with huge paws and claws, inside the house. I can even hear him growling, they're trying to hide right now. 

"MROW! MROW!" Not under the bed with me, no please.

"ROAR!" And there goes the bed. Rest in peace, I will meet you in the afterlife because I can feel all nine of my lives fleeing in the face of- Is the bear in a stroller? Are they... feeding him a bottle? How, when, why, who, what... The rabbit has joined me under the remains of the bed and we're sincerely hoping that the Pegasus gets home soon.

Cutie Mark Crusaders? There is nothing cute about these little demons, I half expect them to start yelling deus vult with a helmet. Please, Discord, come back. I can't handle these things.