//------------------------------// // Show's Over Pt1: Curtain Call // Story: The Equestrian Omni-Knight // by Azure5555 //------------------------------// -Underworld- The first time I ever found myself down here, I was greeted by rows and rows of every kind of undead you could think of. The afterlife was a cacophony of souls going to and fro as they were ferried to their final destination. Now though...it was empty. Far too empty and far too quiet. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU FOOL!!!??” Oh, except for that. “LEGION! CHAIN THIS LOST SOUL!” I exclaimed with my “Land of the Dead” authority. Blackened chains tore through the facsimile of Akriloth's spectral body. Hulking gray behemoths now rose from the ground and hoisted the chain holding the burning orb that was Akriloth's soul. One of them gasped as they looked at me. “Lord Death, you have returned!?” The monster asked, fear in his voice. “Yep, take this soul to my keep and while you're here, hey why's it look like everyone died?” The others flinched and started to walk away at an increased pace as the singled out legionary caved in on himself. “Management saw fit to move all souls to a designated holding area until your return Lord Death!” He pitifully threw himself at my feet. “Please do not uncreate me!” “Management did WHAT!?” Right, Management. So the thing about Management is that they're a governmental body I left in charge so that the Underworld wouldn't stop functioning even if I wasn't here to lead souls and such to their final rest. The fact that Management was no longer doing it's job meant that someone fucked up. “Get up you gimpy lake monster! You're a Legionary for God's sake! Act like it!” I  commanded. “Sir!” The monster rose to his feet in a salute. “Where is Minos?” I asked. “The Bull has gone into hiding Lord Death, as have most souls since Management had our new orders issued.” “And Elysium?” “Locked and secure.” I gave a nod and turned away as I focused on pulling my body back together. “I will return soon, and tell Management to get their shit together lest THEY face uncreation.” Now was the fun part, recreating my body. The process wasn't long or arduous, heck it wasn't even tedious. First came the heart, a solid crystal red dodecahedron. Next was what I guess made up my nervous system, circulatory, respiratory and digestive tracks. Afterwards came the new flesh, skin, fur and scales. Although this time I wanted my scales to reflect my first encounter with the members of the multiverse. So, the scales on my left shoulder were colored a light creamy tan and were fashioned to look like a malformed scar. The same went for my chest, I can't forget about that bamboo shoot after all. “Fucking battle chips.” I said with a laugh. “I wonder what Meddy’s doing…” I shook that thought away and raised an Underworld gate set for the land of the living. Hopefully Link and Luna weren't too worried. -Plateau- The Underworld gate rose gently from the ground to the last point in time where I still drew breath. What greeted me was an open plane atop the mountain. “Moonpie!? Link!? You didn't get caught in the blast did you!?” 'Please be alive. Please be alive. Please be a-’ “Where in Din’s name have you been?” Link asked as he crossed his arms. “Considering what the original hero of Battleon is capable of, you shouldn’t have taken this long to defeat a dragon.”  He said with a shake of his head. “Ya had me worried for a moment there.” “I uh...I had some business. Where's Moo-” I was thusly pummeled into the floor by a mass of midnight blue who began to nuzzle my neck. “How is everyone down there? Did you speak with any of my old battalion? Was everyone surprised to see you after so long? Is that paint on your chest?” The mare asked as she lifted her eyes to meet my own. “That...will all have to wait. We still have business to finish here.” I say as I get back up and dust myself off. “Where’s the egg? Please tell me I caught it in the blast.” Link slowly raised an eyebrow at this. “If not, we’d best find it before a certain you-know-who does…” he said with a wary hinting voice. I shuddered a bit, not at the chance of that undead knight also being in this timeline...but on the off chance I'd need the Bacon Orb and would have to deal with…*Shudder* When… “I really hated fighting When…” I said as I put my hand on my forehead. Shaking off the feeling of dread, I looked to and fro and found an impossibly UNTOUCHED, UNDISTURBED, part of the cave I (and I really need to emphasize here) OBLITERATED. Silently motioning for my companions to follow, I walked deep into the cave. The walls were absolutely pristine. The rocky formations were buffed out and shined, the smell of lemon pledge rose from the floor, and the Toreador March was playing from some unseen music box. I felt uneasy...really. Really. Uneasy. “What exactly is so important about this egg?” Asked Luna, breaking the undisturbed silence. “Huh, oh. Well, now that I think about it, the dragon that hatches from it isn't exactly a problem. It's hatching was more a catalyst that sparked the “Almost” end of the world.” I made sure to emphasize the air quotes on “Almost”. We found the egg at the end of the cave sitting idly in a neatly woven nest that looked much too clean. “Of course that doesn't mean I want it alive.” I pulled out the Megaton from my inventory and hefted the still glowing hammer on my shoulder. “Who wants dibs?” Link kneeled down and picked up the egg in his hands. “I think it’s going to take something stronger than that.” Link suggested. “Of course I might be wrong.” “Are we so certain that this is the option we must take?” Luna asked. “Doesn't this creature have a right to life?” I looked at Luna, and couldn't help seeing that hurt little filly all those years ago. “This...isn’t about a right to life. It's about a choice. A choice we all have to make. A choice between millions of lives and-screw it I'm dropping the pretense we're aborting Akriloth’s child.” I went to grab the egg only for the egg to not be where Link was holding it. “Where’s the egg?” My ear twitched. I smelled Chaos. I looked back at the nest and saw a horribly familiar draconequis cradling the egg in his arms. The egg was dressed in a frilly baby cap, pacifier, and diaper. “Oh did you mean this egg?” He asked with genuine curiosity. My brain stopped. Gears in my mind failed to turn and process this information that was being fed. A gerbil on a wheel missed a step and landed on its stomach. “GIVE ME THAT EVIL EGG YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A-” I lunged for the egg only for Discord to disappear with a wave of his claws while saying “Toodles.” I landed face first into the nest and screamed. “DE LANCIE!!!!!” “Son of a Flying Pot..” Link cursed using a zelda-enemy’s name. “That idiot isn’t aware of what he’s dealing with!” I notice he had his bow and arrow out, the arrow’s tip glowing with holy magic. “...Please tell me the elements of harmony exist, otherwise you’re gonna have a fun time in the future with Discord.” “The elements exist, but hopefully I won't need the girls to risk their lives or their sanity like that.” I said as I pulled out the Chaorupter Unlocked. “He's as good as dead the next time I see him!” Link placed his hand on my shoulder. “However, if your world has any similarities to mine, then you might wanna hold off on that until your Fluttershy reforms him, I mean if she can.” Link suggested before looking around the area. “There’s nothing left here for now, let’s be on our way.” “Tally ho...I guess.” “Hey, don’t worry. You’ll find the means to win…” Link said in an attempt to make me feel better. He soon removed his leather gloved hand from my shoulder. “No yeah...yeah.” I forced a smile as we made our way out of the cave. Only for Luna to put a forehoof on my chest. “I sense a dark presence on that ship…” She whispered. Crap, a Star Wars reference meant Celestia was nearby! “Oh shit...Link, drink this!” I said as I pulled four flasks from my inventory, two blue, and two clear. I chugged one of the jokes and handed the other to Link. He did the same in return due to the urgency in my voice. The physical changes made their rounds and I was on all fours in no time. “Ugh, whatever you do, don't curse! Act natura-” “Where is my baby!?” A loud voice echoed as the burning inferno that was Celestia rammed into Luna and held her in a tight, rib crushing hug. Thankfully Links ponifying had finished. Link had become a unicorn stallion with red and green fur as his coat with his mane of colored gold, his ear still remained with the damaged claw marks and the scar on his left muzzle. On his flank was a golden triangle over a shield and sword as his cutie mark. His tunic was no longer on him, instead it became part of his fur. Everything else such as his leather gauntlets, red cloak and hood, and the pouches for his gear remained with him. His Master Sword and Hylian Shield had shrunk in size and was currently shown equipped to his back. The hylian turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow, as if asking a question I didn’t know. “Uh…” I wanted to say something until Celestia’s gaze caught my eye. “Oh my stars...Azure! Please don't tell me you were caught in this mess. Come, are you injured? Were you caught in that horrible blast? And…” Celestia stopped mid sentence, Luna still in a death grip. She thusly turned to gaze at Link. “No harm done, we only had a bad run in with a few dragons, however we managed to drive them out.” Link said. “Luna...you didn't tell me you had company..” Celestia stared at Link intently. “Certainly very exotic...Oh! Please, where are my manners. I am Princess Celestia, though as a companion of my sister, you may call me Celestia.” She gave a short bow and looked at Link’s old scars. “You've been injured!? Medic!” She yelled. “T-that won’t be necessary, Celestia, those are just old wounds of the past..” Link said, a little taken back by her yell for help. Celestia released her sister and sauntered closer to Link as she took a much closer and much more physical look. “This scar upon your chest…” “Just a manticore attack I survived seven years ago..” Link said as he took a step back. “Tis’ nothing for you to worry about.” Celestia suppressed a chuckle and whispered into Luna’s ear. “SISTER!” Luna screamed with an even louder blush pronounced on her cheeks. “Hey uh…” All eyes went to me as I tried to hide from the three pairs of eyes. “Should we really have this discussion in what used to be the lair of a giant fire breathing dragon?” “No! No of course not, please, a chariot is waiting outside. Sir Jun will tend to your wounds. I just hope Gold and Armor aren't butting heads again.” Celestia said as she led us outside. “Pactagonal knight all the way out here?” I asked. I heard Link snort in amusement when I mentioned them. “You know of the order of the Pactagonal Knights?” Celestia asked with a smile. “Such a strange yet refreshing thing they are, their titles having a double meaning and all.” The chariot was fronted by two pegasi, one with a poofy yellow mane, and one in regular armor. Sitting inside was a unicorn with a surgeon’s head mirror. He immediately spotted me and waved. Link got inside of the chariot without a word. Following inside, Sir Jun turned his head and whispered something terrible rather quickly. “Captain Armor will soon be resigning, our order will follow.” “Excuse me!?” I shouted as I plopped down. “Is something the matter?” Celestia asked as she took a seat next to Link. “I was just informed that Golden Hilt has been spreading lies and slander about me being a charlatan and a rogue! The nerve of some ponies.” Luna scoot next to me as the chariot took off for flight. “I want to find that funny, but today has literally sucked out all of the happy I had to muster.” The night princess said. “Please, we shouldn't dwell on this day any longer. Good sir, please tell me how you came to know my sister. Was it dangerous? Was it romantic…” She closed in on Link with the most obvious bedroom eyes I'd ever seen. “Was it both!? Please tell me it was both! “I don’t know her personally, I was merely traveling the lands when I caught wind of a fierce battle, I came to Azure’s aid and fought alongside him and your sister. Thus far, it was indeed dangerous, but it's nothing compared to what i’ve faced in the past.” Link said, turning to look at me for a moment before turning his attention to Celestia. I hope he wasn't trying to communicate through a social cue of some sort...I am horrible at reading those... “By the way, my name is Protecting Shield. “ Link said as if it was his original name, although it kind of confused me as to why he was telling us a different name. I would have inquired, but we were landing in Ponyville proper by this point and Shining was waiting for us. He didn't look to happy. He kinda looked at me with this sad look in his eyes as we all got off the chariot. Sir Jun and that poofy maned pegasus included. “Shining what did you do?” I asked. “Go inside and enjoy the party. It's all in your honor after all hero.” The captain said as he gave a salute and made his way to Celestia. “Guys I think shit just hit the fan” I whispered to my companions. “What? What's happened and why haven't I been informed?” Luna asked rather worriedly. “I think Shiny just gave his two weeks notice.” I said as I pushed the door into Sugar Cube Corner. Two ungodly screams resounded from both within and without the confectionary. “WHAT!?” Echoed the screams of a confused Solar Princess. “SURPRISE!” Echoed nearly every resident of Ponyville and then some. “Of course.. The ever-so psychic pony.” Link whispered to me, meaning a certain pink pony most likely planned this party. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she knows who I am.” As if on cue we spotted said Pink Psychic wearing a green tunic, green cap, and a replica kokiri sword strapped to a brown belt. She caught sight of us and quickly looked side to side. “This isn't what it looks like! Okay, it's exactly what it looks like, but can you blame me!?” “Called it.” Link said with amusement in his voice. “Well, one could get used to such lavish wear.” Rarity walked up to us in what looked like adult Zelda’s dress from Ocarina of Time. “Would the heroes of the town escort this princess inside?” She fluttered her eyes at Link. Link mumbled something softly to himself but I didn’t quite hear what he said. He held out a hoof for Rarity. “It’s dangerous to go alone.” the hylian-turned-unicorn said. The two began their walk inside, I went to follow but was immediately flanked by two very familiar musical mares...dressed in well. “This was Pinkie’s idea. She said it would hold with the theme.” Octavia said. She wore a garb much like that of the Gerudo. Vinyl on the other hand (hoof?) was dressed in Impa’s armor. Heck, she even did her hair in the same style AND she ditched the shades. “And the theme?” I asked. “She said it had to do with your childhood? A game you once played.” The pair led me through the room to what was a cake made to look like the temple of time. Hanging from the ceiling were several bats (some on fire...somehow) and a life size stalfos piñata. “My...sister played it. I used to watch…” Meanwhile back inside. “I thought this celebration was for the hero? Why the costumes?” Link asked as he looked around in curiosity to see if all the other ponies were dressed in a zelda-themed-related outfit. Rarity and Pinkie shared a quick glance, small stars twinkling in their eyes. Every other pony had been dressed up as either a Goron or Zora with few exceptions around the board. Galanoth still wore his armor, Turner had a fez and his ridiculously large scarf, Bon Bon had her iconic shades and her grappling hook strapped to her barrel, and the mane six (besides Rare and Pinkie) had foregone the costumes entirely. “What? No king of thieves?” I asked idly only for the gentle notes of a familiar song to pierce the air. My ears turned to the sound and found Lyra dressed much like a great fairy...Half human cat or not those hips do not lie. Then I saw the reason for the song. Walking in a neat and somehow non-sensual strut was Luna, garbed in Sheik’s outfit. Of course the mere sight of her may or may not have caused my brain to fizzle. 'Stupid pony hormones…’ “Does this look alright too you?” Luna asks. “Honestly it looks much too tight but feels as if I'm wearing nothing at all.” … “Your nose is bleeding. Are you alright?” Luna wipes her clothed hoof upon my muzzle, the white of her garb now stained a crude brown. “Arflgebrifiddle...Duh I mean you look like an angel bathed in pixie dust.” ‘The fuck did I just say?’ “I'll take that as a good thing...Oh, Rarity wanted you to wear this. Something about fulfilling a childhood dream?” My Moonpie thusly presented me with Ganandorf’s armor from Ocarina. My mind took a step back, reviewed all previous damage done, and proceeded to whack everything not broken with a ballpoint hammer. “DUCKS ON BREAD!” I shouted happily as I took hold of the bandit king's armor. “THIS IS THE. MOST. WONDROUS. THING!!” I fell and began to roll around in joy and wonderment as I felt a sharp gaze fall upon me making a fool of myself. I dusted myself off and immediately donned the armor. “Hey Link! Check this out! How bout a game of tennis!?” “Wait, a game of tennis?” The hylian pony asked as he raised his right hoof and a raised eyebrow. “You know...it involves a glowing ball of light? It may or may not explode upon contact? Tennis!” I said with an abnormal grin. Pinkie, at this point, pulled one shining ball of mystical light and one empty glass jar. “Keep the ball moving for thirty swings. Do that and I've got a jar with your name on it~”  Pinkie said in a sing song tone as she balanced the glass bottle on her nose. “I’ve got eight of those, Pinkie.” Link said with a chuckle. “But I’ll do it only for practice.” he said before his horn glowed a golden color. He pulls out the master sword, the light gleaming off of it’s edge. “Alright! Now how am I gon-bek!” I felt my sternum get pushed into my body as I was hoisted up into the ceiling. I looked first at the various gears and tracks laid upon the ceiling, and then I looked down. Pinkie was holding a black rope, that when she tugged, moved me ever so gently through the air. “Thank God I'm not afraid of heights anymore...otherwise this would be horrifying.” The crowd below us began to make way and clear the floor as Pinkie tossed the ball of light up to my position. “I don't even get time to adjust... you're just gonna start-okay.” I felt the harness tug, and so I made the first swing. The orb curved at a downward left angle, narrowly missing a punch bowl. Link, using his form’s telekinetic body, swings the Master Sword  in a upward arc to knock it back toward me. And with that the game was on...now if only I had better control of my own motions. I swing my hoof back down making the orb rocket back down to the awaiting Hylian pony. With grace and precision, we keep the ball moving as it gains velocity and mass with each subsequent strike. “Pinkie! Make it look like I'm hovering!” I shout as I steady myself vertically. The pointy eared pony kept up the effort as the game was forcing him to move faster with each swing.“Uh.. Pinkie?.. I hope.. You do have a plan to.. Stop this orb if it… gets too fast.” Link said in between hits. The pink pony in question gave a surprised look at Link...only to give a sly grin. She held up a wooden sign with the number “27” on it. The sign went down and up as quickly as the orb was struck until it read “30”. The ball had reached ludicrous size and speed as it went right for me. “PINKIE WAIT NO HELP! HEELP!!” The shining orb of shininess made contact with my face, and with a loud pop, the room was showered in...confetti. 'My face hurts...so much…” “Son of a flying pot..” Link said under his breath. “Sorry about that.” “It's all g-CHU!” I sneezed as Pinkie lowered me from the ceiling rails. “Did i’ ‘ave ta be co’fetti? I thi’ is stu’ i’ by dos…” I gave another good sneeze, the offending piece dislodging itself from my nostril. The crowd that had been so silent up to now had burst out in uproarious laughter and cheer. My back received several congratulatory pats as the many patrons began to make their way out of the building and no doubt to their homes Pinkie, true to her word, presented Link the bottle, only it was now filled with a neon blue substance. “Here! I made the jam myself! Don't ask...it's a secret to everypony.” The last part she said in a mock whisper in close proximity to the Hylian pony. With a slow swirl of his blade, he moves his sword back into the sheath on his back. Link let out an amused laugh at what Pinkie Pie said. “As secretive as how you do the unexplainable, Pinkie.” The hylian said jokingly before taking the bottle. “Eh, it's a living.” She replied with a smile and a shrug. Link reached over with a hoof and ruffled up her hair, he then moves his attention over to me. He holds out his hoof in offering to help me up. “Thanks...so. It's getting late, and you have two choices. There's a spare room with your name on it should you be too tired to do anything, or I can open a rift back to your world and you can be on your way…” I steadied myself and dusted my new costume off. “Though I may need a minute to rest….still shaky.” “Let’s enjoy the party, then if we have a quiet moment, we’ll discuss it.” Link said as he took a seat in one of the cushions in the room. I took a few steps and promptly fell on my face. With a tired groan I simply trudged my face along the smooth floor until I found something soft to lay my head on. “You do realize we're in public...yes?” Said my comfortable object of comfort that for some reason sounded like- “LUNA!” I quickly shot up...only to fall upon my back. “Mediiiic…” Giggles surrounded us as I got back on my feet again, Twilight and the gang having now joined us. “For a town that almost burned to the ground, I'd say everything was resolved pretty well.” The lavender unicorn stated. “Come on egghead, did you actually think we’d lose? Especially after Fluttershy went all berserk on the dragons that got past us?” Something about how Rainbow worded that didn't set well with me… “Dash. What exactly do you mean by that?” I ask. She looked at me for a second, then to the cup of punch she had in her hoof...which she emptied rather quickly. She then motioned towards the mare in question, who had desperately tried to hide behind Gilda and her large armor. “I um... don't want to... talk about it.” She whispered. Only for a deeper, though still feminine, voice to resonate from her lips. “I am no coward...and neither are you.” “Whoakay, backitup backitup! The fritz was that!?” I shouted, taking care not to swear in this God forsaken pony body. 'Fluttershy’ grunted as she shakily made her way to the center of the gathered group. Most of the others looking away. Without warning, the Beta Berserker earring I gave her began to shine as Fluttershy took a more human form. Pale skin, blue veins trailing into her scalp, and eyes of pure dark cobalt. She was… “Illyria…Okay yeah. We should just...talk about all this later and-HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD!?” Fluttershy’s voice echoed through the lips of the human before us. “Um...well...She said I was...too strong?” “Any normal mortal soul would have perished, but she-” Fluttershy reverted to her normal pony form, effectively cutting off Illyria. “Please don't tell Angel bunny.” Mm...my brain was starting to unravel at the seams. “I don't know bout all ya’ll, but I am so very tired. As such, I'm going home.” I stated as I made my way for the door. Of course as I went to move, Applejack of all ponies motioned to stop me. “Hold on there partner! We're gonna need to go over the costs of repairs, reparations, ah mean, we hav ta start documenting a bunch a new citizens and not ta mentio-” “AJ!” The mare, shocked still, stared at me with folded ears. “Tomorrow is a better day.” I was halfway out the door before I looked back. “Hey Link, the spare room should be prepped by now, unless Pinkie finds some way to keep you here overnight…” The hylian-turned-pony’s long pointed ears perked up at the mention of his name, he turns around with a levitated cup of punch in his magic. He takes a sip of it before answering. “I don’t think so.” Link chuckled. “She’s good at parties, but she isn’t THAT good where somepony would end up partying all night.” “Shun the non-believer!!” Pinkie shouted...only for several guests to make their way past me in a timely and fashionable manner. “You win this round…” The Pink Menace thusly slid away, into an awaiting door frame shrouded in fog. Shaking my head, I make my own way out into the darkening world, the sun having begun it's gentle descent over the shining crystalline town.