//------------------------------// // That's a Load of Bull // Story: Existing but not Living // by Fragment Soul //------------------------------// Celestia sighed inwardly at the constant ramblings of the surrounding nobles. The Grand Galloping Gala had started an hour and a half ago and the one guest she had been excited to see was still not here, not counting her prized pupil and her friends of course, but now she was being forced to listen to the vapid and honestly, quite annoying ramblings of the aristocracy. It would have been fine if she was just on the sidelines listening, but since she was a princess, she had to actually take part in the conversation and pretend to care. She constantly swept her eyes across the ballroom to see if he was here yet, but so far, to no avail. “... Oh, don't you agree Princess?”, one of the nobles asked her. Celestia snapped to attention. “Oh, uh, yes you do make quite a good point.”, the Princess replied, not even knowing what the noble had asked her about. She had grown used to this sort of thing, pretending to care, laughing along, and responding to the occasional question or comment directed at her. “Is everything alright Princess? You seem a little... distracted.”, another noble said. “Everything is alright, I was just expecting somepony to be here, but he has not yet arrived.”, Celestia replied. “Oh! Who is it you are waiting for?”, the noble asked. “Just an old friend, he said he would be he-”, Celestia was interrupted by a roar and a crash over in the north part of the ballroom. She turned her head to see a body rag dolling through the air. Not the body of a pony, however, but the body of her human friend Jason Jaquel. “Gods damn it, Jason.”, she muttered. Jason flew through the air, his body rag dolling in ways no normal human body should. He landed with a crash right onto the food table, breaking his arm and a couple ribs. Groaning, he picked himself up grabbing his arm and wrenching it to the side, effectively resetting the bone. His arm, along with the ribs he had broken, healed in a matter of seconds. He brushed the food and drink that had landed on him off of his shirt. “God dammit man! That really fucking hurt!”, he shouted as a Minotaur pushed his way through the crowd. “You need to apologize to my wife right now!”, the angry Minotaur shouted. “What? All I did was bump into him! It was an accident!”, Jason replied. “Did you just call my wife a HIM?!”, the Minotaur roared. Jason stuttered in an attempt to redeem himself. “Alright, wait! All I'm trying to say is your wife is a very handsome man!” Great going Jason. You've justfuckedyourself., he thought to himself. The Minotaur roared and slammed his fist into Jason's face, crushing his skull and sending him flying, yet again, across the ballroom, this time into a marble pillar. Jason picked himself up as the bones in his face reconstructed themselves. “Alright enough playing around!”, he yelled. The Minotaur came at and threw several punches. Jason dodged all of them and delivered a swift punch to the Minotaur's balls, causing him to groan and pain while clutching his groin. “Ha! And here I didn't think you'd have anything down there!”, Jason taunted. He then grabbed the Minotaur by the horns and smashed his knee into his face, then pulled back and slammed the Minotaur's head into the very same pillar the Minotaur had thrown him into earlier. “Is that all you've got you overgrown heifer?! You were so fuckin' eager to fight me earlier, what the fuck happened?!”, Jason shouted at the groaning Minotaur. The Minotaur managed to pick himself off the ground and assume a what Jason interpreted as a fighting stance. “That's right, get up and fight. I wanna see what you're made of.” The Minotaur charged at Jason only to pass by as Jason sidestepped and spun a kick right into the Minotaur's back. The Minotaur stumbled from the blow, but quickly recovered. Turning around to see Jason bobbing up and down, the Minotaur decided that he needed to take a tactical approach, as any attempts to blindly charge in would end up in failure, most likely with him being knocked on his ass. The Minotaur charged again, this time watching Jason's posture. When he saw Jason shift to the right ever so slightly, he knew. The Minotaur swerved left as Jason tried to sidestep in the same direction. The Minotaur's horns plunged into Jason's stomach, impaling him. The crowd of ponies that had gathered to watch gasped at this. Grinning, the Minotaur then flung his head back, launching Jason through the air. Jason landed near a group of ponies causing them to gasp, and some of them to faint. After his wounds healed the blood on the floor and on the Minotaur's horns dissolved away into nothing. He picked himself up and looked over at the Minotaur, who was standing up in victory, not seeing that Jason had risen behind him. Jason ran at the Minotaur, jumping into the air and drop-kicking the Minotaur in the kidneys. The Minotaur collapsed on the ground, groaning in pain as Jason got up and proceeded to elbow bomb the him. Jason then put the Minotaur into a choke hold, cutting off not only the air flow to the Minotaur's lungs, but also stopping the blood flow to his brain. He held there as the Minotaur thrashed about in a last ditch effort to get him off. Slowly the Minotaur started to pass out, his movements becoming weaker and more feeble by the second. Eventually the Minotaur stopped moving altogether, and Jason released him. Jason stood up, running a hand through his messy hair. He walked over to the remaining food table and grabbed a cup of water. Almost every eye was on him as he made his way back to the Minotaur. Back at the Minotaur's side, he crouched down and poured the water on the Minotaur's head, slapping his cheek lightly. “Wake up ya big lug.”, Jason said. The Minotaur woke up spluttering and shaking his head. He looked up at Jason and asked, “Did I lose?” Jason nodded at him. “How the hell? I never lose! Especially not against a creature as small as you!”, the Minotaur exclaimed. “Well,”, Jason said,”To start off, I'm immortal, meaning I can't be permanently injured, nor can I die. Secondly I've been alive for over thirteen billion years, so I'm far more experienced. But I've got to hand it to ya, you're one hell of a fighter. If I wasn't immortal, you would be the winner, and I... well I would be dead on the ground. Good fight though.”. Jason held out his hand and helped the Minotaur up. They shook hands giving each other props on fighting skills. “It's about time you showed up.”, said a voice behind Jason. He turned around to see Equestria's Princess looking right at him. “Oh! Hi Celly!” He cheerfully said.