//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Intermediate Chapter // Story: Rarity has Dyed // by Unwhole Hole //------------------------------// At around the same time, the Ponyville train was grinding into its station. This in itself was not unusual: as a train, it tended to run on schedule and therefore arrived and departed the station several times a day. This day was only unique in that the train was arriving from West Equestria; specifically, Rockville. It was a location known far and wide to be populated by strange, rock-worshiping hill-ponies. Few dared to tread there, as it was a known fact that rock ponies were colored in such a way so that it was impossible to differentiate them from the landscape until it was too late. As the train nearedthe station, Pinkie Pie stepped off. Or, rather, she fell; in her excitement, she had not waited for the train to stop, instead relying on her unusual bodily elasticity to dampen the blow. This proved to be remarkably successful, and she stood up, brushing herself off to find that she was probably completely unharmed save for internal injuries. “Ah,” she said. “They swept the platform since the last time I was here! It’s so much less gritty!” She leaned close to the pavement. “I’m not sure how I feel about that, though. Oh well.” She shrugged. “This is a comedy anyway. It isn’t supposed to be very gritty I guess.” She listened. Usually there would be groans in response to bad puns, but in this case, none came. Confused, Pinkie Pie looked around. Few ponies were present on the platform, but those that were present were all somber and generally dressed in black. Many of them were crying. “Whoa,” said Pinkie. “Did somepony die?” She paused. “I sure hope it wasn’t me…” Pinkie took a sudden step to the left. As she did, a rainbow contrail whizzed by her head, and Rainbow Dash slammed into the pavement where Pinkie had just been. “Rainbow Dash! Hold on, before you get up, does that feel less gritty to you? I think the sidewalk is less gritty today. But more gritty than last Tuesday. On a scale of corn meal to Fluttershy’s man voice- -” “Pinkie!” cried Rainbow Dash, sitting up suddenly. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her mane was heavily disheveled. “Pinkie? I don’t know where that rates on the scale, Rainbow. You’re not being very helpful. But I’m going to guess somewhere between undercooked potato and Rarity as a detective.” At the sound of Rarity’s name, Rainbow Dash froze, and tears welled in her eyes. She sniffled. “Pinkie…you didn’t hear…” “Nope,” said Pinkie, cheerfully. “I told you. I had to go back home. My dad broke his legs again. And he can’t go to a doctor for something like that- -you know what those horse doctors do when you have broken legs- -so we had to resort to the family healing tradition. Meaning he had to get stoned. Oh mane, Rainbow, dad got so stoned, you should have seen him! Then mom got stoned too for the heck of it. I even got pretty stoned myself. I still have bruises. Want to see?” “Pinkie! For Celestia’s sake, just shut your pie hole for ONE MINUTE!” “Okay…” Pinkie paused. “Which one is the ‘pie hole’ again?” Rainbow Dash immediately flew into an extremely short-lived rage, but it only collapsed into desperate sadness after a few seconds. By this time, Pinkie was beginning to realize that something was wrong. “Pinkie…it’s Rarity…” “What about Rarity? Did she want to get stoned too? I don’t think that’s a good idea. She bruises like a banana.” “Pinkie! She’s…she’s dead!” Pinkie stared for a moment. Then she giggled compulsively. “Ha. Ha. That’s a funny joke, Rainbow. An extremely insensitive, horrible, funny joke. Rarity can’t die. She’s a main character.” “Look!” Rainbow Dash shoved a newspaper into Pinkie Pie’s face. Pinkie Pie took the paper and read the page it was open to. “Rarity has died,” she read. “Oh. And it’s in all caps…that’s not good…” “Not good? NOT GOOD?! Pinkie, it’s Rarity, and she- -she didn’t even!” Rainbow Dash covered her eyes as tears started to stream down her face. “I’m not crying! I’M NOT CRYING! Stop looking at me!” “O…kay?” “I- -I have to go, Pinkie! I just wanted to make sure you knew, but I- -I have important things to do- -” She picked herself up and flew away at great speed, leaving a rainbow contrail as well as a distant scent of strong cider. Pinkie Pie watched her go, and then looked down at the newspaper she had been given. “Comic sans,” she said. “All caps. This can only mean one thing. Poor Rainbow. She doesn’t even realize…” Pinkie Pie threw down the paper and walked swiftly across the station platform. She had understood the true meaning of the advertisement in the way that she was sure it was meant to be interpreted- -and she would need backup in order to crack the case.