There was something indescribably arrogant about the usage of parley. It was as though the ponies flying its flag expected her to feel all of a sudden no animosity towards their cause, however heinous, however wrong. The rebels’ embassy flew such a flag now. Celestia sniffed and tossed her head, then walked into the tent, Luna following.
Inside stood only three ponies – a surprise, for Celestia had certainly expected some form of makeshift guard, armed and wiry, at the very least. One was an earth pony, another a pegasus and the last a unicorn. She smirked. Typical, that such a movement required even representation at its upper end. It made her want to laugh.
The unicorn bowed. ‘Princess Celestia, what an honour. And Princess Luna. She who guards the night.’ He bowed again. ‘Equally so.’
‘Whom do I have the, ah, pleasure of addressing?’
‘I am L.’
‘You are – what?’
‘L for Lycan,’ he said, smiling.
‘J for Juniper,’ said the pegasus.
‘Y for Yarrow,’ said the earth pony.
‘I see,’ said Celestia. ‘All right, then, Lycan, you know why we’re here.’
‘Indeed I do – to speak on behalf of the Usurper, She Who Dominates, the despotic alicorn known to you as Cadence. But you are not she, Your Highness, no, no. You are, or so I am told, a pony of reason. A pony of respect. You will, of course, then, understand our predicament – and why we cannot offer you anything so much as close to an unconditional surrender.’
‘How did you –?’
‘I have my ways.’
Celestia stared. Then, after a long pause, she sighed. ‘Very well. Luna?’
Luna handed Lycan the Closed Council’s official terms.
‘Thank you,’ said Lycan, bowing.
He read, and as he read, his frown deepened. Once finished, he cast the document aside and said, ‘Clearly, we cannot accept these terms.’
‘And for that you shall pay. Come, Luna, we’re done here.’
‘Your Highness!’ Lycan took a desperate step forwards, his face earnest. ‘Your Highness, we are not radicals destined to usurp this great kingdom! We are but humble subjects bearing legitimate grievances, who ask merely to be heard, to be treated as we deserve!’
Celestia surveyed him carefully. ‘You’ll get what you deserve, don’t worry. Come, Luna!’
They left the tent.
‘Go! Go! Go!’ screamed Tirek as he dodged a lunging blow. His DAG hit a saucepan, with which Sunset promptly caved in its head. The DAG clattered to the floor and lay motionless.
‘Yes!’ said Tirek. ‘That’s it!’
Trixie was busy stuffing hay fries into eye sockets, and Suri was bucking as fast as a cider-sucking rodeo horse. She burst a hole in one DAG’s fluid tank, ruptured a cable in another. Sunset brought the pan down again and knocked it senseless.
‘Can’t – much longer!’ grunted Trixie, hurdling metal-tipped lunges for dear life. She tossed another mouthful of fries at the DAG leaking motor oil. Its vision impaired, it slipped in its own refuse and caught fire.
‘Shit!’
The blaze was immediate – and bad. All four of them began to splutter and choke as thick black smoke spread into the air.
‘What do we do now?’ snarled Sunset, her eyes watering.
‘The door’s – nnh!’ Trixie pulled as hard as she could, but it was no use. ‘It’s – it’s locked! I can’t get it open!’
‘Think!’ shouted Tirek. ‘Think!’
‘Wait a minute.’ Suri’s eyes lit up. ‘This way, everyone!’
She ran towards the ovens, turned and gave the extraction unit an almighty buck. Its guard clattered to the floor, revealing a narrow shaft.
‘In!’ she shouted. ‘Get in!’
Sunset shook her off, snarling. ‘Are you mad? We’ll suffocate!’
‘No, we won’t!’ laughed Suri, ‘because I helped design the extension, and this chimney’ll lead us straight to the surface!’
‘Are – are you certain?’
‘Of course I’m certain! It’ll be a squeeze, but – oh, for pony’s sake, just get in!’
Sunset gave her a parting scowl, then leapt up onto the oven and squirmed into the extraction shaft.
‘I’m in! It’s – a bit tricky to climb.’
‘Push against the walls!’
‘There we go!’
‘I’m next!’ said Trixie, elbowing Tirek roughly aside. ‘Wait for me!’
And she was up. Tirek turned to Suri. ‘You now.’
But Suri shook her head. ‘On you go.’
‘I’m bigger than you,’ said Tirek. ‘What if I get stuck?’
‘Just go!’
The fire was spreading rapidly – nearly all the beaten DAGs were ablaze.
‘All right.’ Tirek squeezed into the shaft. It was grimy and smelled badly of burnt rubber. He squealed as something hit his face, then realised it was Trixie’s tail. ‘Oi! Can’t you –?’ He looked upward, blushed and decided it was better just to remain silent.
‘I’m in!’ he called down to Suri. ‘You now! Suri!’
There was no response. He frowned. ‘Suri?’
He let himself slide down onto the oven, then dipped his head under the funnel to peer into the mess hall. His stomach dropped.
Suri was struggling against the grip of one of the DAGs. It was badly damaged, but operational – and its metal claws, which had established a hold, would not let go. Tirek knew that much. He watched in horror as the DAG opened its mouth absurdly wide and sucked the writhing, cursing Suri into storage – wherever that was. She was gone.
The DAG turned its face to his. Tirek scrabbled up the shaft.
‘Move!’ he screamed. ‘Move! Move!’
‘Just what do you think you’re –?’
‘Shut up and move! There’s a DAG!’
Trixie’s attitude changed abruptly.
‘SUNSET!’ she bellowed, sounding terrified. ‘SHIFT OR WE’RE GOING TO DIE!’
‘I know what I’m doing,’ snarled Sunset, and Tirek quickly found himself with space into which to climb. An angry clanking from below told him the DAG had made it onto the oven top.
‘Faster, Sunset, faster!’ he cried. ‘It’ll be on us in – gah!’
A cold metal hand grabbed his hind leg and tried to pull him down. But there was no force to it – none of the strength that had overcome Suri. Tirek frowned. Something wasn’t –
The hand warmed quickly – too quickly. He chanced a glance at his leg and gasped as the DAG fell backwards into the growing inferno. A wave of horrible heat slapped his cheeks sweaty.
‘Get going!’ he shouted again. ‘Go! Go!’
Up.
Up.
Up.
The heat worsened.
Up.
Up.
Up.
Then relented.
Up.
Up.
Up.
Then worsened again.
‘Up,’ hissed Tirek through gritted teeth. ‘Up.’
He felt a tear slide onto his nose – on account of the smoke for sure, but perhaps also to do with the image of Suri dragged into what he very much hoped wasn’t a burning grave.