‘I say it again,’ said Tirek – again. He pointed an accusatory finger at Celestia and continued, ‘I want you in the first round. Come on, now, don’t be such a coward! The odds are stacked against me – you said it yourself!’
Celestia shook her head. ‘Not a chance. You’ll be playing the architect – and liking it! Hmph. Do you know, a good beating may well have a desirable effect on that article. Who knows? Perhaps you can teach her a lesson to boot and sway her from those eyesores of which she is so fond. Brutalist indeed . . .’
Luna tapped her spreadsheet happily. ‘I’ve got the con artist round one! Shouldn’t be too hard, of course. You mark my words, I’m a blackjack grandmaster! I hope our fellow competitors are betting big!’ She rubbed her hooves together. ‘I’m raring to hit a jackpot!’
Celestia smiled, secretly pleased that Luna had brightened up so quickly. Yes, she was likely playing up to it a tad so as to make herself feel better, but that was precisely the sort of attitude Celestia had hoped this tournament would evoke.
‘I’ve got the shammer,’ said Celestia, ‘who could be a walkover. Could be. It’s all chance, this game, after all.’
‘No, no, no!’ said Tirek, affecting an expression of appalled disagreement. ‘Chance? No, no. I don’t deal in chance, you see. Skill? Now that’s what I’m all about! I’m not a gambler, me. I am – an artist. An artist who predicts outcomes with remarkable –’
‘A cheater,’ said Celestia brusquely. ‘And as before I extend to you a warning – if you do cheat . . . your cards, your winnings . . . they’re all mine, understood?’
‘Yes, yes,’ said Tirek impatiently.
‘Good, exc—’
‘Excellent,’ said Luna, cutting her short.
Celestia frowned. ‘Excuse –?’
‘You’re always saying that.’
‘Saying what? Well? Spit it out, girl!’
Luna grinned. ‘“Good, excellent.” It’s like – a really, really bad catchphrase. Honestly, Sister, the public expect more these days.’
‘This isn’t public,’ said Celestia, disgruntled, ‘and in any case, my so-called catchphrase is far better than yours!’
Luna’s grin widened.
‘Do you think,’ she began, ‘that you are tough?’
Celestia rolled her eyes. ‘There you go.’
‘Hold it,’ said Tirek, frowning. ‘The numbers don’t add up. Who’s Cadence facing?’
‘No one,’ replied Celestia. ‘Being the least experienced among us, she advances automatically. And don’t think I don’t know what you’re suggesting! I already told you – no! On no account will she play! On no account!’
Tirek looked sulky.
‘Is it the other one?’ asked Luna.
Celestia nodded. ‘It’s the other one.’
‘She’s terribly isolated these days, don’t you think, Sister? Are you sure it’ll have a rehabilitating effect?’
‘I don’t care what effect it has so long as her presence isn’t poisoning my perfect world.’
‘And again,’ said Tirek, ‘you demonstrate an inability to administer justice. Bias rules this country more than you!’
‘Hold your tongue. Or better yet, where’s your tankard? Some tonic here, if you please!’
Tirek snatched his tankard from the DAG’s grip. Then he paused, thinking.
‘Black-market-magic, eh?’ he said. ‘Well, here’s hoping the damned stuff helps me win our little wager! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for another illness!’
He downed its contents and, as Celestia gritted her teeth, loudly smacked his lips.