//------------------------------//
// The Problem With Ponies 
// Story: In The Rough 
// by BlackRoseRaven 
//------------------------------//

Chapter Two: The Problem With Ponies
~BlackRoseRaven

Spike yawned and crawled out of the basket that served as his bed, scowling at the dark windows. Just once, just once, he'd really like to sleep in. But he had a feeling that day wasn't going to come for a long time yet: there were always so many things to do, and no matter how Twilight teased him about his naps and all the time he spent asleep... it's never enough. Someone has to keep everything running, get everything started in the morning, and that's always been me.
The little purple dragon sighed, grimacing as he stretched and cracked his back before he trudged towards the door, wiping sleep from his eyes as he went. He pushed through, then continued on his way, muttering to himself under his breath.
Six in the morning, he thought. And if not for the stupid trip with the stupid fillies, he could be sleeping in right now, but of course he had to be signed up for that. Spike couldn't be alone all by himself, wasn't that right? Perish the thought.
He was so bitter. So bitter, tired, and angry. But he knew what he had to do: wake himself up, put things out of his mind, and then do his job, just like always. Maybe he'd get lucky, and they'd come home before Twilight and her friends got back, and then he could have the castle to himself for a change of pace and just have a nice, quiet day where he didn't have to clean up any messes, didn't have to fetch or organize books, and maybe, just maybe, he could get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Spike sighed a little as he rubbed at his face, wondering not for the first time what it must be like out there for other dragons. He wasn't stupid enough to think that their life was easier or better than his, but... who didn't want a little adventure now and then? Who didn't want to go back to the way things were supposed to be, even if that meant they would be worse, not better?
There was just such a strange, natural allure in living the way you were supposed to, instead of the way that you had been raised. He was supposed to be a dragon, after all! And dragons were supposed to be allowed to sleep whenever they wanted, do whatever they wanted, never bow their heads to anyone...
No, he was just cranky. He knew that wasn't really what he felt, or what he wanted. He liked it here. He liked Ponyville. He liked his job, even: he just got frustrated sometimes. And when he got frustrated, he thought that the worst parts of him came out.
The dragon shook himself out a bit as he wandered into the kitchen to get something to drink and eat, and put together the extra food for the camping trip, because he was somehow sure that the girls weren't going to pack enough to eat, let alone the proper supplies and equipment.
But that was his real duty, he supposed. How was it that another assistant he'd met had phrased it, years ago? An assistant's job was to make their master look smart. Otherwise, they stayed in the background, and did what they were told, and kept everything running behind the scenes.
It was little comfort to him, though. And he didn't want to be any kind of puppetmaster, anyway: he certainly couldn't think of Twilight as a puppet, after all, or that he really had any say in how she lived her life or ruled her tiny kingdom.
Spike smiled briefly: Twilight, rule something. She wasn't much of a ruler. A leader, but never a ruler. He kind of admired that, though: he often heard ponies muttering about how power corrupted, but it seemed to him like Twilight was safe from all that.
The little dragon let his thoughts spin out as he went about the morning's tasks: he filled a cooler and a dry bag with food, which he brought to the front of the castle: a trek that always seemed longer than it had to be, like the castle somehow stretched itself a few more feet to try and make his walks take up that much more time.
He liked living here, but at the same time, he didn't really, did he? Did that make sense? He thought it did, even though it didn't, but...
Bah. Everything was complicated and he was still waking up, that was all. He shouldn't let his thoughts run away with him like that. He just needed to focus on there here and now and get things done.
Spike grunted as he shrugged down the containers of food: why did ponies think it was easier for him to carry things when they were literally four times his size.
He turned to head back down the hallway, then grimaced as he heard a knock at the door, sighing and looking over his shoulder before the knock came again. He spun around on his heel and trundled back to the door to open it,then winced when a hoof nearly hit him in the face, Sweetie Belle yelping as she nearly fell on top of him before she caught herself and blushed. “Hi!”
“Uh. Hey.” Spike said after a moment, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly before he looked past Sweetie: Scootaloo was here, too, but... “Uh... what are you doing here? It's a little early to-”
“We thought we'd come by and help!” Sweetie said brightly, and Spike gave an awkward smile: the one thing worse than having to do everything by himself was dealing with 'help' from three certain fillies. They were even worse now that they were almost teenagers: there was more clumsiness, more hormonal behavior, more trouble in general.
“Where's Apple Bloom?” Spiked asked, in the hopes of delaying the inevitable.
Sweetie Belle straightened, explaining: “Oh, we haven't gone to get her yet, it's too early! But we figured you'd be awake and need some help, Spike, so we decided to come by here and... uh... help!”
“Yep.” Scootaloo yawned loudly, stretching absently before she asked: “Do you have any coffee going or anything? It was a long night.”
“It's always a long night for you.” Sweetie chastened. “Bedtimes aren't just for little foals, you know. And it's important that-”
Scootaloo waved a hoof airily, and Sweetie scowled deeper before Spike gestured awkwardly, interrupting the spat with: “Coffee should be in the kitchen. If you really want to help, well... uh, where's the camping equipment?”
Sweetie Belle shrugged, then answered offhoofedly: “Oh, you know, Apple Bloom's gonna take care of that. She just told us to take care of ourselves and the food.”
Spike didn't like the sound of that, but before he could say anything, Scootaloo trundled past and Sweetie began poking her head though the bags, asking curiously: “Where are the marshmallows? And the hot chocolate! Hey, we don't need more camping gear, we need camp food!”
“Uh, I think we should probably-” Spike started, and then he winced when Sweetie opened a bag and began to rummage through it, pulling his carefully-packed gear loose. “Hey! That's my stuff!”
“Oh, Spike, you don't need to bring anything! We got it all covered!” Sweetie said proudly, before she dropped the bag and added: “Except for the food.”
Spike dropped his face in a hand with a tired sigh, and then he grimaced when Sweetie knocked over the rucksack at her hooves, the little dragon wincing a bit and reaching out, then squawking when Sweetie leapt forwards and banged into him, knocking him flat... although in her exuberance, she barely noticed, leaning over him with a bright smile as she declared: “But don't you worry, we can help get all the food together! Here, let's go through your bags right now and-”
Spike was saved – he hoped – by a knock at the door, the little dragon sighing as Sweetie cocked her head before prancing around in a circle and opening it with a flick of her horn to reveal Applejack, the mare blinking in surprise before she asked: “Well, howdy, Sweetie, what are you doing here?”
“Hi, Applejack! We're just getting ready!” Sweetie said brightly, as Spike clambered up to his feet.
Applejack frowned at this, looking over the mess that Sweetie had made before she said in that not-quite-scolding tone it seemed ponies always reserved for him: “Spike, I know it was short notice and all, but I wish you'd gotten things together yesterday. You're just lucky I decided to come over early. Here, I'll help pack up.”
“Yes, Applejack.” Spike didn't bother to argue: he knew it would just come out like excuses or like he was trying to blame Sweetie, who was oblivious to the whole conversation as she hopped cheerfully in place.
“I'll help too! Spike, can you go help Scootaloo get the food out of the kitchen?” Sweetie asked, and Spike smiled awkwardly before he turned and hurried away, deciding it was probably better not to stick around or try and reason with any of these insane ponies.
He sighed as he made his way to the kitchen, then stared in disbelief as he pushed inside and found Scootaloo drinking the last of his coffee, the carafe on the counter empty apart from the  gritty dregs of sadness at the bottom.
Scootaloo put down her cup with a sigh of contentment as she blinked a few times, then she smiled over at the dragon, giving a little burp before she grinned a bit. “Sorry about that.”
“You drank all of it?” Spike asked disbelievingly, and Scootaloo shrugged lamely as she looked at the carafe.
“Not all of it.” she answered, and Spike slowly narrowed his eyes at this technicality before Scootaloo asked: “Did I hear Applejack?”
Spike sighed, then he nodded after a moment and said reluctantly:  “Yes. Sweetie wants us to get... camp food, she said, but I don't know how much-”
“Oh, I thought Apple Bloom said she was taking care of that.” Scootaloo shrugged, then she looked around before she walked over to one of the cupboards, opening it and carelessly starting to rummage through it. One of Spike's eyes twitched at this violation of one of the few places in the castle that was truly his personal space, but he forced himself to breathe even as Scootaloo asked: “So where do you keep like, the candy and stuff?”
“We don't.” Spike answered testily, before he sighed and added reluctantly: “We have some small marshmallows and hot chocolate, but let me get it-”
“I can do it, no worries.” Scootaloo answered with a shrug as she closed the cupboard, shifting to the one beside it. She opened it, then stared for a moment, and Spike sighed as he walked to the other side of the kitchen as Scootaloo gave an awkward grin and hurried over to him.
She started to reach into the cupboard, but Spike winced and grabbed her foreleg, gently pushing her back as he said: “Just wait a second, okay? Let me go get a bag. Should I pack the rest of my juice boxes, too?”
“Beer!” Scootaloo blurted, giving a hopeful grin, and Spike only looked at her until she shrank her head slightly and mumbled: “Juice boxes are fine.”
Spike nodded as he headed in the direction of the fridge, stopping only once along the way to grab one of the grocery bags from another cupboard, before he glanced up as Scootaloo added: “You didn't have to get stuff for us, though, we're not, you know, little kids anymore.”
“I didn't. Twilight buys them for me.” Spike answered as he opened the fridge, sweeping the juice boxes off the shelf into the bag, and then he let the door swing closed as he headed back to Scootaloo, who tossed the gathered hot chocolate and few bags of mini marshmallows they had into the bag before she picked it up.
“So uh... what's it like, living with Twilight and all? I mean like...” Scootaloo fumbled for words as she followed Spike back towards the entrance, and the dragon only gave her a half-glance, cocking an eyeridge slightly. “I just mean... you know. You're older than we are, aren't you?”
“Dragons age slower.” Spike answered, which wasn't really his answer at all, but Twilight's. He didn't really want to get into discussing it with Scootaloo right now, though: he figured he was going to reach his quota for embarrassing himself for the week within a day or two.
Spike winced as they arrived at the front hall and he found half of his things unpacked, Applejack humming a little as she adjusted the packs on her side. Spike stared for a moment, then he brightened a bit as something clicked in his mind and he realized- “Wait, does this mean you're-”
“Sorry, Spike, I still gotta go to Canterlot. I just told the girls I'd meet up with them a little later today so I could make sure everyone got away okay.” Applejack said, but that faint flicker of her eyes told Spike there was more to it than that.
Over the years with them, he had gotten pretty good at reading the ponies: that was another part of being an assistant, after all, needing to know what someone wanted before they were even aware of it themselves. Spike had the sense that whatever had Applejack nervous enough to take the early train to Canterlot instead of last night's late one had to do with more than just the fact the fillies were going camping with relative strangers.
Spike wasn't always smart, but when he focused he could be plenty sharp. He was tired and he was grumpy, but he was still able to force himself to focus a little as he looked at Applejack, studying her for a few moments: it had something to do with Apple Bloom, he thought. Possibly the fact that Apple Bloom was... different. Something the other ponies didn't really notice, but then again, he spent most of his time several heads lower than your average pony, so he noticed things the others didn't.
Applejack noticed him staring, so Spike did what he was expected to do, nodding and saying glumly: “Okay. I'll do my best to help out Marina and her friend.”
Applejack smiled and nodded, and the moment she looked away he knew he was out of her mind. It almost made him scowl, but he knew how things worked. He still looked like a child to them, and so they treated him like a child: when he didn't act like a child, then he was being rude or uppity or whatever other word they could apply to him.
Child? Or was he a slave?
No, that wasn't fair at all. Or at least not entirely.
He watched as Applejack rounded up Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, distributing the packs to them and leaving the rest for him: she didn't say anything, but Spike knew the job and knew the look. So he hurried over, grabbing the oversized packs and slinging them over his shoulders with a huff before he grimaced a bit as Applejack led the way out the door with the fillies in tow, Sweetie rambling away to Applejack and Scootaloo tossing in a word now and then, the little dragon forgotten.
That was okay, though. He was used to it, and it was easier to concentrate on his job. Sometimes he got mad about it, sure, but he'd learned to remember that he was just an assistant to them, and his entire job was staying in the background and cleaning up after the ponies.
He rubbed slowly at his face as they headed through the mostly-empty streets of too-early morning Ponyville: soon it would be bustling with life, but for now it was almost eerily quiet, as a faint morning mist rolled through the village streets, gray dawn softening the edges of the world.
It was such a pretty place. The ponies were safe, had everything they could ever want, and were watched over by a loving Princess, with the core of the kingdom – Queendom? Princessdom? Twilight would know the word... – itself only a short march away.
But ponies always wanted more. Spike couldn't really blame them: he always wanted more, too. He knew his life was good, even if it was a little stressful at times, and he didn't always feel all that... respected. It was safe here, though: he had a lot of good things. All of these ponies did: they were cared for, looked after, treated well.
So many of them still felt like there was something missing, though, and he understood that. Even Twilight had those moments where she didn't seem entirely satisfied, where she lingered and wandered from room-to-room, not noticing him as he tailed along behind her.
Everyone wanted to be special. To have some kind of adventure, to be known and loved and wanted. But once they got what they wanted, they weren't satisfied with it: that worried him sometimes. What if he did get what he wanted, and he still wasn't happy? He thought that was the biggest reason that he was... well, still here.
Sure, he was a little dragon, but it wasn't like he'd never thought about leaving. Starting a new life on his own: he'd miss everyone, but he was old enough to look after himself, and a lot of the childish things he did was mostly to satisfy Twilight.
He wanted to know what else was out there, though: he wanted to be out from under Twilight's wing, Twilight's shadow, Twilight's... hoof.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by an awkward half-yell, and he looked up to see Apple Bloom waving at them from the porch of the Apple Family farmstead, the little filly smiling brightly. Spike waved a little automatically, even though he knew he probably wasn't even being noticed at this point.
Applejack let Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo run by, and then she suddenly threw a foreleg out, stopping Spike as she asked bluntly without looking at him: “Do you know about my sister's... condition?”
“Uh...” Spike looked awkwardly up at Applejack for a few moments, and then he cleared his throat and nodded once. “I think so?”
“Just treat her nicely. That's all.” Applejack said sternly, and Spike couldn't help but give a wry smile before he gave another quick nod.
“Well, I guess I better head off then, so I can catch the train to Canterlot.” Applejack hesitated for a moment, and then she turned to Spike with a smile, saying: “Look. I know this probably ain't your idea of a fun time, and sometimes Twilight volunteers you without thinking about it. But if it means anything, it's reassuring to me to think that you'll be along on this trip. Marina's great and all, but I feel like she doesn't have a lot of experience with fillies, and... well, you seem to handle all of us pretty well.”
Spike smiled a little, but he felt genuinely touched as he nodded to her, not knowing what to say. Applejack only shrugged amiably, however, before she walked away without another word to him, heading towards the fillies to give Apple Bloom a last goodbye and a few last firm instructions that would likely all be forgotten and ignored by the time they got to the campsite.
Spike lingered until Applejack left, and then he wandered up to the trio of fillies. But they were rambling away in their own world, and the dragon knew he wasn't likely going to get a word in edgewise, so instead he walked past them and let himself into the house, figuring that...
He almost bumped into a blue mare, the unicorn scowling at him as she took a step backwards. He smiled lamely up at her, then cleared his throat and held out a claw, asking: “Moonbeam? I'm Spike, it's nice to meet you.”
Moonbeam tilted her head slightly, continuing to look at him, clearly unhappy about... probably everything. Spike didn't know much about her: just that she was grumpy and nervous and a little paranoid, and not for the first time, he wondered how Marina had managed to convince her to come along on this little trip.
“Hi.” Moonbeam said finally, as she nodded to him at least. He let his claw drop but smiled as best he could all the same: that was still something, wasn't it?
“So uh, ready to go?” Spike asked, and Moonbeam only scowled a little in response, giving an indecisive shrug. Spike ran with it as best he could, shrugging back and saying: “I try not to worry too much about it. The real trouble will just be getting to the campgrounds. After that, the girls will pretty much take care of themselves, we just need to be there for, you know, just-in-case reasons.”
Moonbeam didn't look thrilled with this, studying Spike moodily, but he got the feeling it was for another reason than that she wasn't looking forwards to foalsitting and camping. He cleared his throat a little, wondering if he should either probe more or just give up and go looking for Marina, but he was spared deciding by the sound of mechanical limbs approaching. “Spike?”
“Uh, hello there, Marina!” Spike greeted, leaning past Moonbeam to give a little wave. Then he winced when Moonbeam stepped past him, stumbling a little to the side, but he caught himself and forced himself not to look back, smiling awkwardly at Marina as she winced a little. “You uh, ready to go?”
“Yes. Sorry about that, Spike. She isn't really a... morning person.” Marina apologized, glancing past Spike before she smiled a little and added: “But she'll warm up once we get going, I think. Thank you for letting her tag along, it means a lot to me. To us both, really.”
“I'm sure it does.” Spike said, and there was an awkward moment of silence before he cleared his throat and asked: “So uh, do you have everything together? We should probably head out soon and all.”
“Oh, yes. Applejack checked everything over twice, we should have everything.” Marina answered with a smile, and Spike nodded: yet even as reassured as he felt, he had a feeling that something was going to go wrong.
“Well, uh... then I guess we're ready to go.” Spike said, although what he really wanted to add was 'after I check things over once or twice.' But he was just the assistant, and it wasn't really his place to doubt the ponies: he hoped for the best and cleaned up the worst. That was his job.
Marina nodded to him, although she hesitated a little too, and Spike cocked his head. But the mare shook hers after a moment, giving a short sigh before she forced a little smile and said: “Okay. Why don't you lead the way, Spike? I'm uh... I'm not very good at taking charge.”
“I'll try.” Spike said dubiously, nodding awkwardly before he turned and headed out the door. Moonbeam was loitering off to one side, and the fillies were prancing around and chatting excitedly with each other, and Spike hesitated for a moment before he cleared his throat loudly.
No one so much as looked in his direction.
Spike scowled, and made a louder 'ahem!'
Again, no one looked at him, and Spike sighed before he rolled his eyes, then tilted his head back and spat a short burst of fire into the air, which made the three fillies half-fall all over each other as they stared at him.
“So uh, are we ready to leave?” Spike asked, as he clapped his claws together, and the girls traded looks before Apple Bloom and Sweetie nodded, and Scootaloo shrugged. “Great! Okay, where's the wagon?”
“Wagon?” Apple Bloom asked dubiously, and Spike smiled even though he realized that things were already going terribly wrong.
“Yep, the wagon. Since there's a little bit too much to just carry and all.” Spike pointed out, and the fillies traded looks as Spike looked around, then turned to Marina and asked: “Applejack told you about the wagon, right?”
Marina smiled awkwardly, and Spike repressed a sigh before he nodded and started: “Well, Big Mac will probably know-”
“Oh no, we don't need to go botherin' anypony now. It's bad enough Applejack decided to stay another night and all.” Apple Bloom huffed.
Sweetie nodded, then added, as if it was the best idea she'd ever had: “Well, if there's too much to carry, why don't we just carry less? We only need the essentials, after all.”
“Yeah, like marshmallows and hot chocolate!” Scootaloo added, and before Spike could stop them, the fillies all threw down their bags and began to root through them, Spike wincing and stumbling forwards as he gestured at them wildly.
“Wait, wait, no, we can-” Spike started, but too late: the fillies had already dumped most of the bags out, leaving a mess of supplies and food scattered over the ground. They started rooting through these piles immediately, and Spike slapped his forehead before he pleaded: “Alright, just pack those bags back up and then we'll figure out who can carry what, and-”
“I can carry most of it, don't worry. The weight isn't a problem for me.” Marina promised. “Alright, let's get the bags packed back up...”
There were a few grumbles from the fillies, but they did as they were asked... or tried to, at least. Spike guessed that Applejack had probably packed those bags in the first place: when the girls threw things back in willy-nilly, they quickly ran out of space.
“Well... that stuff doesn't look important anyway! And even better, see, now we've gotten rid of some extra weight!” Sweetie Belle declared, and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo both nodded in agreement.
Spike stared at the three for a few moments, and then he gestured at the pile of supplies on the ground, asking disbelievingly: “How do you even know-”
“Oh, Applejack always overpacks, it'll be fine!” Apple Bloom huffed, and then she quickly threw the pack over her back as she straightened, adding: “Now, time's a wastin' and we're ready to go!”
“Yeah, let's get going!” Sweetie Belle added with a smile, bouncing on her hooves before she spun around, calling out: “Last one to the road's a smelly horseapple!”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo both immediately leapt off after her, and Spike sighed as he gestured helplessly at the pile of stuff left behind by the excitable fillies. But Moonbeam only shrugged as she turned to follow after the young ponies, and Marina smiled lamely before she said finally: “Well uh... I guess that we should probably go too...”
“I... yeah. I know that Granny Smith or Big Mac will probably clean it up.” Spike said after a moment. That wasn't exactly the point, which he thought Marina knew, but he also knew that... well... “I guess we don't want the girls running ahead without us. Can you help with the other bags?”
Marina nodded, walking over to pick up the other satchels and packs: Spike caught the faint grimace she made before he turned towards her, and she hid it under another smile, saying: “I'm ready whenever you are.”
“Okay.” Spike said after a moment, and then he shrugged once before holding in a sigh and starting forwards down the path to the road.
They caught up with the fillies just outside of the ranch, Moonbeam studying them moodily and carrying a single small satchel against her side. Spike did his best to resist a frown as he waved a claw, saying: “Okay, let's get in line, I know you're eager to be off but-”
“Yep, let's go! I know the way, I can lead!” Scootaloo blurted out, waving a hoof, and Spike couldn't help but reflect that she was much livelier with a full pot of coffee in her and her friends around.
“Okay, but stay close, don't run ahead too far.” Spike cautioned as he glanced at Marina: but she only smiled at him, as if she was trying to reassure him that she was fine under the weight of the bags she was carrying... although metal legs or not, I think we're going to need to take a few breaks here and there...
Scootaloo huffed and gestured airily with a foreleg, and somehow this didn't exactly reassure the dragon even as she said: “Hey, no worries. We've been there so many times I know it like the back of my hoof!”
Spike dearly wanted to make a retort, but he bit it back, instead saying patiently: “Well, Marina and Moonbeam want to take in the sights and I can't keep up with how fast you are. So you know-”
“Hey, I could carry you!” Scootaloo bragged, then paused and awkwardly shifted the pack she was carrying, adding lamely: “You know, uh, if I wasn't already carrying all this stuff. Then I could totally carry you.”
Spike held back a scowl, but thankfully Marina interrupted: “I think we should just let you girls lead, and we'll follow behind. Just don't go too far ahead, alright?”
It was the exact same thing as Spike had said, but coming from an adult – and a pony, or at least something that looked like a pony, as uncharitable as that was for Spike to think – the three fillies immediately all saluted and nodded, Sweetie promising: “Don't worry, we won't go very far! Spike knows the way anyway!”
“Okay girls, let's go!” Apple Bloom declared, and she and Scootaloo muscled each other for lead position as Sweetie Belle pranced along behind them happily, Moonbeam rolling her eyes as she followed and Spike and Marina trading a look before the chocolate mare smiled at him, then quickly trotted over to her friend.
Spike sighed tiredly, rubbing at his cheeks before he sullenly followed along last. Well, it could be worse, he supposed tiredly. All he had to do was make sure they got to the campsite in one piece. After that, he could spend as much time as possible sleeping. Well, at least when he wasn't making meals, cleaning up, fetching water...
But really, how was that so different from every other day?
Spike trudged along in the wake of the ponies, grumbling under his breath. One day, he promised himself, everything would be different.