//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3 
// Story: Just a Pretty Normal, Random, Non-Logical Life in PonyLand 
// by TheNoob 
//------------------------------//

What the fuck am I doing here? you wonder to yourself, holding an invitation in your hands. The invitation said this was going to be giving you more illegal bacon. But now that you were here you are wondering why you didn't stay in the luxury of your home. 

ALONE.



2 hours ago: You were at home and eating illegal bacon when something had crashed into your window breaking, and then proceeded to continue its fall right into your breakfast.

"What the fuck are you!!" you yell out, mad that the ponies had once again screwed with your life.

The pony in question just held up a letter with your name on it. Looking back at the pony again you realize that this is Derpy, who always seemed to crash into everything in everyway. But that was not going to bring back your bacon. 

"Derpy, can you please stand still please..." you asked.

The pony complied with your requested and stood completely still. You started to back up, giving yourself room for the upcoming event. 

"GOAL!!!" you yell, running up to the mailmare and punting them up into the air, out of your house and unto the street.

After that you just went and sat down to read the letter that was for you. 

Dear Friend, 
I have heard about your issue about meat, my friend. Come and join me at this address my comrade.



Now you were standing in front of a totally not dark, suspicious building, all alone at night. You gave the door three knocks  You knocked don the motherfucking doors that were in your way and make yourself at home on the couch, totally ignoring the sign that said "No sitting on the couch". However, a pony with bright orange color makes their way towards you

"Welcome Anon, to our meeting. My name is-"

"Orange Pony, where's the bacon"

"That'll come later, my friend and as I was saying my name is-"

"ORANGE PONY, I don't give a fuck about who you are, what you did but I do care about where my food is"

"There are some questions I, may have to ask you before you can get the meet."

You looked down at your watch. 15 minutes behind schedule. By now you should be harassing  interacting with ponies at the park. There was no forgiveness to those who got in your way. Looking around the place, you spotted an oven in the back of the room. 

Then you looked back at the Orange Pony who was now holding a book titled "101 Ways To Gain Info From Undocumented Species".

Suddenly, you came up with a very evil plan. 

"Orange Pony, I will answer all your questions but can I have a look a your oven and could you describe it for me?"

"Sure, If I can get all my answers eventually"

The 2 of you walked towards the oven and after some persuasion, you got Orange Pony to remove the contents of the oven and turn it on too.

"-And as you can see her- augh!!!!

You took Orange Pony shoved him into the oven like the good jew he was. After closing the oven, you walk towards the door and slam it close before leaving.

Sure you could have stolen his bits, but then you would have been breaking a law. But there is no law against sticking ponies in ovens. And plus even, if someone did track you down you, could always blame it on your non-existent twin brother Jose.



You are now home, sitting down and relaxing with the newspaper in front of you.

You aren't worried about the fact Orange Pony could die because in the few months that you were in ponyland, you have never heard of anyone dying. NEVER. You just assumed that all the ponies here are semi-immortal or some shit like that. 

Yep, just don't worry about the fact that a pony's getting roasted, literally. These are your thoughts as you take a swing of Applejack's Apple Cider.

Good Stuff.