Are you kidding me? How is this happening already? You ramble as the implications hit you. Dog Orc things are coming.
Denneylaw’s Comment
How long have I been out? We had Poison Joke shenanigans yesterday and the day before, so when did Sapphire Shores show up? I mean, I know I don’t hang out with Rarity often, but why are these episodes being smooshed together and out of order?
You then look as the fashionista examines two bows to put around her helmet.
And did she just volunteer to watch me just to do menial labor? I know I’m buff now, but jeeze lady, at least let me get used to this form!
MagicLover2128's Comment
As you continue to curse at what has happened to you so far, you realize something.
Wait…If I help her avoid being captured by the Diamond Dogs, then maybe she’ll be so grateful that she’ll finally design me some new clothes! My poncho is tighter and my whities are on their last leg. This is perfect!
The thought of fresh, clean clothes brings a smile to your face, but then you pause in your mini celebration as you realize what this may do for your relationship with Spike.
Aw crud, if I’m the one to save Rarity then Spike might resent me. When she saved herself it didn’t hit him hard, but this might make him think I’m gunning for her.
After shaking off that disgusting mental image, you think more about how besides Pinkie and Gilda, Spike’s really the only other friend you’ve got here. Another factor to consider is that hurting him may be detrimental in learning this world’s stupid gobble-dee-goop language.
Dammit! you mentally scream as you grab your head in frustration at the new dilemma to consider.
Why can't things be simple like in Tell Tale games!? Either a good choice or a bad one would make things so much easier! I’m already doing the silent option by default anyway!
Rarity, noticing your distressed actions sighs before saying,
"Oh come now darling, it won't be that bad. I actually find it rather fun looking for gems and jewels, it’s like my own little mini-adventure. Having you and Spike come along would make it slightly more different than usual, but in a good way...I hope."
Not hearing that last bit you calm down slightly.
Oh cool character development! Wait no, focus on the task at hand. I mean sure this could be a chance to get in Rarity's better graces and maybe see some undiscovered traits of her character, but....
BrownDog's Comment
You are reluctant, very very reluctant to go, because your road map for episodes is out of order.
I mean, maybe it's just one of their non Diamond Dog related gem trips. Just a day of getting shiny income...It could happen.
But the more practical side of you knows better.
Okay, first Poison Joke, then Diamond Dogs, and Parasprites are still coming at the end of the week! Is that stupid Dragon going to show up in the next few days as well?!...Oh who am I kidding, of course he will. Well that is one trip I am not taking. No friggen way!
Rarity notices your dour expression and tries to assure you of the potentials of the trip.
"Mr. Skeletor, it actually is rather fun. I have a spell for locating hidden gems, and Spike has a natural scent and can dig like no other." You give her a reluctant look and she puts on a thinking face.
"How about this? If you come with us and help me get say, three wagonfuls of gems, I will create clothing for you." Your eyes brighten at that.
Oh Hell Yes! I don't even care if we run into Diamond Dogs, I need some new underwear and something besides this poncho. In fact...
You whip out your notepad and flip to one of your many, many drawings of your true self and point at it. Rarity of course, seems very disturbed by the image.
"You want me to make you this outfit? But it's hardly anything more than boots, undergarments and what can loosely be called a vest and hood," she whimpers. You steel your eyes and point at the Skeletor outfit pointedly.
"I...Okay, make it 4 wagonfuls of gems and you have a deal," she reluctantly caves and you fist pump.
Hell Yeah! One step closer!
"As for this mask though, I'm afraid that's not my department. You will have to find that elsewhere," she explains pointing to the boney face.
Curses! For every step forward, I take two back.
"I can't let anyone know it was me that created such travesties," Rarity mumbles under her breath before looking back to you with a smile. "Anyway, today should be a fun day. The fields hold no real dangers," she assures you.
Pursing your lips, you flip to a blank page and are about to have a 'vision' of Diamond Dogs, but you hold off.
If this is the Diamond Dog episode, I shouldn't really stop it should I? It's one of the funniest episodes. I don’t need to save Rarity to get clothes now, and she’ll be fine. Besides, the dogs are pretty harmless, and I'm jacked up with muscle now. Those flea brained fools couldn't match with me. Then, a sudden realization comes to you and your mouth falls open.
They are big, dumb, and hairy. Just like Beast Man! If I play my cards right, I can have my very own Beast Man this day! Then I can order him around, and berate him for his foolishness, and send him on missions to attack He-Man!
You start bouncing around giddily and Rarity takes it that you're excited to go.
"Well, someone seems enthusiastic," she smirks.
Oh you have no idea Marshmallow Pone, you then write in your notepad under your many side quests, and put a star next to it.
-Acquire Diamond Dog (Beast Man) Minion
You can't keep the manic smile off your lips as the idea of having an actual Beast Man starts to settle in your mind. Rarity, no doubt slightly perturbed by your smile, chuckles awkwardly.
"Hehehehe…Well I glad you’re so excited about this. Honestly this will be a good experience for the both of us."
Rarity's suddenly sincere tone manages to snap you out of your thoughts as you look at her in confusion.
"I will admit that I haven't exactly been the most...pleasant towards you these last few days,” she admits with a sigh. “Even though you did try to warn me about Rainbow's prank I still treated you harshly. So I'm hoping that having you accompanying me and Spike will allow me to get to know you better, and perhaps make up for my rather uncouth treatment of you."
You blink at Rarity slightly before smiling warmly.
Awww, that means a lot Rarity. Nice to know I haven’t completely messed up my chances with befriending you.
However before you could convey your thoughts in any way, there is a sudden knocking coming from Rarity's front door.
"Oh that must be Spike! Come along Mr. Skeletor, it’s time we make way to the Gem Fields!" she says with a smile.
Your eyebrow raises slightly at the name as you think,
Gem Fields? Kinda on the nose there huh Hasbro? Then again, this show was made for little girls...
Shaking off that line of thought you follow Rarity out of the Boutique, where you see Spike standing by five or six different wagons with a few chests in them.
Geeze Rarity, expecting a big haul today? You think raising an eyebrow.
However, another thing that takes your immediate notice is that a lot of the nearby ponies have stopped what they’re doing and have begun to stare at you. Some of them in awe, and most of them with a mix of cautiousness and fear.
Aw man, this sucks! You wince slightly at their looks. All of these stares…Jeeze. Guess I know how Naruto felt with all the villagers judgemental stares. After thinking this you realize that the comparison doesn’t sit well with you.
I swear, if they start going all 'fear and antagonize' the unknown like those douchebags, this Skeletor’s gonna have to whoop some ass!
Shaking off that thought process before you start coming up with countermeasures to such a situation (too late) you think,
Man I just hope nothing draws their attention to me even more than usual.
Of course the universe seemingly heard your thought and decided to mess with you.
"Oh hey Skeletor! Twilight wasn't kidding when she said you changed. I almost didn't recognize you! You are freaking buff!" Spike says in awe.
And like that every pony nearby takes a good couple steps away from you and your new massive form. This only causes you to sigh dejectedly as Spike chuckles nervously.
"Hehehehe....oops?"
You are sooooo lucky you’re my only reliable means of learning your written language...and that your one of the few people here who isn't scared of me….And that you give me Ice Cre-The Point Is! If you weren't you'd be having one hell of a prank day!
Noticing your slightly annoyed look Spike just continues to chuckle awkwardly till Rarity says,
"Well now, I do believe we're wasting daylight! Come along you two, those gems aren't going to discover themselves!"
Rolling your eyes you grab the handle of two of the wagons and begin to follow Rarity, while Spike grabs his own wagon and follows after the two of you. As you walk you start to realize something.
KingPotato's Comment
After you've finished the outfit of your true form, you’re going to have to somehow make yourself blue.
The clothes and eventual mask will be easy, but how exactly do you change skin pigment?
You do have a idea or two, but they're not exactly the smartest of plans you have. In fact they're not even that good, but considering most of your bad ideas have worked out for you in the past...
I guess this idea could work, what with my new Eternian body I should have very little chance of dying...hopefully. Anyway the only way I can think of making my skin blue is either some dye, or hypothermia.
You think for a good solid couple of seconds before coming to a conclusion.
Strong bod or not, shivering my balls off in the cold doesn’t sound fun at all. The only place cold enough would be the arctic, and for all I know Smokey the badly designed horse might appear early. No, I'm gonna need a good couple tons of blue dye and a big enough tub if I want this to work. It’s not like being blue can make these small horses more afraid of me.
You look out over the citizens as you walk and their stares just bleed fear and anxiousness.
All I yelled was “Nyeh” after you guys were douches, and you act like I’m the bad guy? You think as their looks start to make you more and more uncomfortable. Spike, taking notice of this, decides to distract you from the stares.
BrownDog's Comment
"So hey, Skeletor. Did you know that Twilight is super confused about your voice?" You send Spike a questioning look at that.
What, the fact that I don't have one or that the only thing I can say is Nyeh?
"Yeah, she can't wrap her head around why the only thing you can say is that 'Nyeh' sound you made back when you were trying help Trixie out. She wanted to do some magical scanning or something like that with you yesterday to figure out why, but Pinkie stopped her. Something about how 'Skelly is all tuckered out and she should let him have his rest.'" You smile fondly at that.
Thanks Pinks. I've already been through enough of Twilight's experiments for awhile, plus knowing her she might go a little overboard if her first test doesn't find anything...again.
"Really Twilight's kinda been confused on how you can't speak in general. I mean you can understand us pretty well, and according to her you have 'average intelligence,' whatever that means, so you should be able to speak."
Average intelligence my ass! You roll your eyes. I'm at least slightly below average intelligence thank you very much. Wait… Your confusing self-deprecation aside, Rarity decides to join in on the conversation
"Personally darling I always thought it was some sort of potion you may have drunk. But not even Zecora has never heard of one that could cause your voice to be, well, voiceless aside from one sound."
“Nyehhh,” you sigh in dejection.
So not even Zecora knows why my voice is like this huh? Just what the heck caused this? Will I ever get my voice back completely, or am I gonna have to speak in 'Nyehs' for the rest of my life? Noticing your dejected look Spike puts a scaled hand on your leg to try and comfort you.
"Hey don't worry big guy, I'm sure we’ll figure out what's wrong with your voice eventually. Remember, Princess Celestia is coming to town soon, so maybe she found some things out since the whole 'Nightmare Moon' incident."
Oh Joy, the Princess is coming, you think in melancholy. And she’s gonna hear how I’m the most horrifying thing in the freaking world and probably stone me.
"Hey, I know things may look a little bad man, but don't worry. When it comes down to it, I'll be by your side 100%. You can count on me!" he replies, trying to cheer you up. His enthusiasm does get you to smile and you give his head a rub.
Dang man, that actually managed to cheer me up a little bit. Why don’t the writers show this cool side of you more often?
"Aha! We're here!"
You blink in surprise at Rarity's sudden declaration as you look around, and you see that you are indeed in a dirt field quarry, away from civilization.
Dang, either cartoon logic is at work here or time flies when a dragon it comforting you.
...
Whelp, that's going on the list of things I never thought I'd say-er think.
Oblivious to your thoughts Rarity takes a deep breath and exhales dramatically.
"Ah...the smell of soon to be gorgeous gems and jewels on my next fashion line! Skeletor, take this pickaxe and work on that formation over there, I detected a few just now. Spike, can you be a dear and follow me?"
And like that Spike goes from 'cool bro' mode to 'lovesick idiot' as he starts to literally float off after Rarity with hearts in his eyes.
Ah, now I remember why. He can be pretty funny when the writers don't make him a total idiot.
With that thought you make your way over to the pickaxe Rarity left you. You pick up the tool which looks like it was designed for either a child or one of the 7 Dwarves.
Everything is tiny in this world. Heck, even these Diamond Dogs are going to come up to stomach level if I’ve done my math right.
You twirl the tiny Pick Axe in your big meaty hands and walk over to the rock cropping Rarity pointed out. You look from it, and back towards the Dragon and Pony who are off digging up their own haul. You sigh at the extremely happy grin on Spike’s face.
Denneylaw's Comment
Tartarusbound's Comment
Spike's been a major bro to me, and yet here I am with nothing to show my good bro-ness to him. Well time to change that!
With that thought you decide to save Spike from the embarrassment of coming off as a babbling idiot to the others when he inevitably has to run for help. To do so you decide to draw out what will happen with the Dogs. You take out your notepad and get to work.
Eventually you get to the part where the Diamond Dogs show up, and you get a little stuck on how to properly explain them.
They aren’t really dangerous...but they are willing to enslave, so I’ll emphasize that. Better than showing Rarity technically stealing from them.
You draw Rarity getting dragged into a hole, and a picture of her wrapped with chains. While it's not quite how things happen, it would show that nobody could protect her.
You then fold the pictures up and place them in Spike’s Wagon without him noticing.
There, that should make things roll quicker. By the end of the day, she’ll have her wagons of gems and I’ll have my outfit ordered. It's not like she would refuse service out of spite. That would just be…petty.
You pause after that thought for a good couple of seconds before shaking it off and thinking,
Nah she wouldn't do that, she's trying to treat me better after all.
You then return to the rock quarry with your pickaxe and take a swing.
GotThisToLikeStorys's Comment
Greatness942's Comment
Unfortunately, your newly acquired strength breaks the tool in your hands.
You know maybe I should have done some strength training before trying this out? I knocked out Pinkie with a pat for God’s sake, you cringe as you stare at the now shattered digging implement.
With the only means of continuing your work destroyed you wonder how else you are going to get those gems. You need those gems for your new clothes. You need them.
You are Skeletor, He-Man's mortal enemy and nothing will ever be able to keep you away from your awesome outfit, and you mean nothing.
Your fists curl in determination as you stare at the offending wall of dirt and rock.
I kicked through a concrete wall, so let’s see if my fisticuffs work just as well.
You wind up your arm and throw forth a mighty right hook, and to your amazement, the rock begins to shatter.
Oh boy, things just got interesting! You mentally squee as you let your fists fly.
ORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!!! You chant Star Platinum’s punching mantra in your head. More and more of the rock cracks.
In fact you get so lost in your chanting that you neglect the fact that you’re supposed to be gathering gems. You just keep punching and punching with the stand cry playing in your head. You are brought out of it though by a cry of worry.
“Skeletor! What the hay are you doing?!” Spike cries out.
You pause and turn around to the Dragon who looks horrified. You grin and give him a thumbs up…only to realize that your hand is bleeding profusely.
Wha-Huh? You blather as you look at both of you hands. Only then do you see that they are cut to all hell, and even bits of rock are sticking out of them. As your eyes fall on this, your brain finally registers the pain and you shriek.
“NNNNYYYEEEHHH!!!” you cry out in pain as your hands drip with red and Spike starts to freak out.
“Rarity! Rarity! We need some bandages ASAP!”
“Oh My Goodness!” Rarity shouts as she sees you fall to your knees, regarding your hands in pain and confusion.
B-But how? I was actually making a dent in the thing! I kicked through concrete yesterday! I don’t…You then realize what’s changed since yesterday.
The Cure! I drank it to keep the body, but I cured something else! I have the strength, but I don’t have THE POWER!!! You grit your teeth at this cruel irony.
Curse You He-Man! Giving me only a taste of the power of Grey Skull! I will claim it again one day! I will-
*SPLASH*
You look down at your hands and see that Rarity has used her magic to pull slivers of rocks out of your cut up hands, and has also dumped nearly half a bottle of Rubbing Alcohol on them.
You look from her, then to your hands and back before you let loose.
“NNNNNYYYYYYEEEEEEHHHHH!!!”
“Hold still Skeletor, we need to wrap those up,” the fashionista insists, while you run around in circles, screaming your pain to the heavens.
SOME TIME LATER
With the combined efforts of the dragon and unicorn, they were able to bandage your hands. The bleeding has stopped, and your fists look like you’re ready to enter a bare knuckle boxing match.
“Now that your wounds have been tended to Mr. Skeletor, do you mind explaining why in Celestia’s name you did that?” Rarity scolds.
“Nyeh…” you shrug solemnly.
“Oh don’t give me that,” she huffs. “I gave you a perfectly good pickaxe now where is it?”
“Nyeh!” you point to the shattered tool and she sighs and facehooves.
“I don’t get it Rarity, didn’t you say he kicked through the jail wall?” Spike asks.
“Yes Spike, but that was a smooth surface, these rocks are jagged. It doesn’t matter how strong you are.”
It would have if I still had that Power, you huff and cross your arms.
Rarity sighs and says,
“Listen, why don’t you rest for a bit. Spike and I can gather enough for the day, then we can go home and get those looked at."
You spring up at that declaration.
NO! I can’t quit now! I need my outfit!
“Skeletor, you can’t keep going. You’ve injured your claws and-“
You quickly take her pickaxe from her and go over to the rocks that are stained with your blood. As gently as you can, you begin picking away at the rocks.
Should’ve just done this instead of jumping the gun I guess. It’s much safer than-
*CRACK*
The wall crumbles before you and you fall headlong into a cavern.
Oh Hai Falling, I’ve missed you not!
“Nnnnnyyyyyyeeeeehhhh!!!” You shout as you fall through the darkness.
“Skeletor!” Spike and Rarity call out in alarm.
As you fall, your eyes adjust to the dim light, and you gasp in amazement as you see that you are falling straight into a mountain of gems and gold.
Holy Crap that’s a lot of moola! Time to Scrooge McDuck this! You think giddily as you form your body into a diving position…
*CRASH*
OOOOOOWWWWWWW!!! You anguish as you hit the horde hard and start bouncing painfully down it’s side. When you reach the bottom of the pile you groan and hold yourself. Without your muscled body, you’d probably be dead, but even still, that fall hurt like hell.
Oooohhhh…Why? Why can’t cartoon logic ever work for me? You whine as you gingerly feel your pained body. You don’t appear to have broken anything thankfully, but you do think you’ll bruise up nicely.
“Skeletor! Are you Okay?!” Spike’s voice comes from up above.
“Nyeh,” you grunt, since it’s the only thing you can answer with.
“Alright good, just hang tight Skeletor, we’ll get you help,” Rarity says.
Get me help? But you’re supposed to be the one in distress, you groan as you sit up.
Well great, I guess I’ve royally screwed this episode up. You then look at the giant pile of wealth in front of you. But maybe I can still buy my clothes…
Pulling yourself to your feet, you take inventory of the many different gems. Rubies, emeralds, diamonds, amethysts, and onyx all shine brightly, filling the room with a brilliant glow.
A Diamond Dog stockpile? you think to yourself, smirking. NYEHHAHAHA! Excellent! Now all I have to do is wait for those pony fools to bring me a rope and I’ll be rich!
As you explore around the giant pile of jewels, you come across something pretty epic.
WHAT?!
On an ornate pedestal, carved out of a stalagmite, rests an ancient looking skeleton of some kind. In it’s chest, is a very familiar and unique looking arrow.
T-The Stand Arrow? You gasp as you lift the projectile from it’s resting place. There’s no denying it, with it’s fancy intricate carvings, and your inherent knowledge of the show, this is the arrow that grants stands.
I-I don’t…Finally! Finally I can have a Stand. I don’t even have to jury rig one! The solution just fell into my lap…or rather I fell, but still! You hold the arrow aloft in the dim light to get a better look, and you pause.
In order to get a Stand, I gotta stab myself with this, but if I don’t have the potential I’ll end up dying. With that thought, you decide to pocket the arrow and save it for later.
Too dangerous, even for Skeletor, you muse, When the time is right, I will gain my Stand. But for right now, I'll keep this in safe keeping. Hell, it might only look like the Stand Arrow and it’s something completely different, just like Grogar’s Staff looks like my precious Havoc Staff.
You sit down in the pile of gems and twirl the arrow in your wrapped fingers.
I mean, aside from still not knowing how I got here or why I can’t speak, I still have canon events, Lyra’s quest, and Celestia in general to deal with. Much too busy to stab myself and potentially die. In fact, I’ll bring this up to the Princess when she arrives, maybe her curiosity will save me from stoning. If anyone can appraise this and tell me if it’s real, it’s her.
And thus, you add a new log to your notebook:
Quest: Skeletal Purple:
Appraise the Stand Arrow-like object.
With that jolted down you go to stick the Arrow in your poncho pocket…when you notice something odd about it.
On the very tip of the arrow you notice a crusty red stain of some kind. You look at the rib cage on the pedestal and shudder
Some poor bastard tried to stab himself or was shot and wasn’t worthy. Well that ain’t gonna happen to m…Wait a second, this isn’t blood.
Upon closer examination with your finger nail you realize it’s not ancient blood. Instead it’s a really old...pizza stain?
That doesn't make sense. Why would an ancient arrow have a pizza stain on it? And why...does it...look....so...famil-UGH!
Suddenly your head feels like it’s being assaulted by a thousand drums. Over and over again in the same four beat pattern that even itself seems familiar. You drop the arrow and grip your head in pain as you struggle to think,
Wha...is...happ..ing?
Suddenly the pain vanishes and you’re left with a vivid image of your old room, specifically of a model of Keicho Nijimura - Bad Company holding the Stand bow and arrow. And on the tip of that arrow...a pizza stain.
But just as quickly as it appeared the sudden image vanishes and you are left gasping. You slowly start to stand, just now realizing that you fell to your knees during the whole experience. You bend down and pick up the Stand Arrow again and examine it more closely.
Could this be...but that would be impossible. It's the actual size of an arrow, and it’s been here for a long time if that skeleton is to go by anything. I just got here! Yet...the stain...
You stare at the tip of the arrow again before shaking your head and putting into your poncho.
It's just a coincidence, that's it. Yeah...that's it.
Even as you think that, you know there’s something more you’re not catching, but before you can try to ponder more, a blood curdling shout of,
“NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” echoes from the ceiling above you.
Was that Spike? Why would he be- Oh Right. Diamond Dogs kidnapping Rarity…Damn they work quickly.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
