//------------------------------// // On the Road // Story: Kiwe's Journey // by Mocha Star //------------------------------// After an hour into their journey they were getting slightly bored and had traveled hardly beyond the view of the city, the feeling of being in the city was waning, but they didn’t feel like they were gone yet. A mere forty minute gallop and they’d be home, possibly with nopony any the wiser. That wasn’t on their mind, though. While the walk had turned quiet, they still passed other travelers and exchanged nods. “Hey, Kiwe, what do you think that merchant is selling?” “Which one?” “That one,” Jade leaned closer, “the ugly one with goofy teeth and the straw hat.” “Uh, which one, there’s three coming up.” They shared a snicker before Jade clarified.” Oh, well, diapers, for sure.” Jade laughed. “What?! Why that?” “Well, it’s a long trip, and perhaps she’s on a schedule and can’t stop beside the road and can’t hold it so she sells something she can use and cleans them when she can and resells them to parents of foals who are almost off them.” “What if she sells them to adults who are weird?” “Weird? How?” Jade rolled his eyes. “You don’t know a lot about adults, do you? They are weird sometimes and like to dress like foals and other stuff.” “Gross, do they even… you know?” Jade grimaced. “Yeah, there was a thing in the empire long before Sombra where dressing like foals was what adults did. There were times that different forms of love were tested, to see what worked to power the crystal heart. It turned out emotions for one another work best, while emotions based on sex and desire didn’t work so well.” “So, did you ever know anypony that did that?” “Diapers? Nah, only foals,” he waved a foreleg, “and really old ponies. But there were only a dozen or so when Spike the Brave and Glorious saved us, so I guess I won’t see any more old crystal ponies for decades.” Kiwe bumped his side into Jade’s. “Don’t feel bad, you’re gonna be a great old pony and you’ll wear the best diamond encrusted diapers ever.” Jade shoved his a step away and stuck out his tongue. “Nuh-uh! That’s gonna be you.” “Nuh-uh, I’m gonna be young forever. I’ll learn a spell to make it happen.” “You wish,” Jade rolled his eyes when Kiwe smirked. “I'm over a thousand and spells like that suck. Besides," he teased, "you’ll mess it up and turn your coat blue, then you’ll be an old, blue, diaper wearing old pony.” “I’m a zony, so you’re wrong about everything,” their pace picked up and their teasing empowered them on their trek. … “Noon, it’s been three hours since we left… are we almost there?” Kiwe snorted and frowned. “You’ve asked the last hour and half hour after that. Stop asking or I’ll leave you behind.” Jade groaned. “But we’ve been walking for hours, what about lunch, can’t we eat now?” “No, Jade, we can’t stop yet and eat. If you want you may graze off the road.” Jade groaned louder. “But I’m hungry for food. You have trail mix and dried fruit, can’t we just-” “No!” Kiwe barked aside at his friend. “We can’t go through all our provisions as soon as we leave. You will live snacking on nature until we have to stop, right now we’re in the open on a well-traveled path, if we stop we’ll lose time and resources.” Jade moaned. “Why can’t we just share a hoof-full of snacks?” Kiwe looked up to the sky and said a silent prayer for patience as Jade continued asking and bargaining for snacks. … “Finally, a mobile shop! Let’s stop and buy a soda, Kiwe! I’ll share with you, please?” “No, Jade. Too much soda is bad for you and we have water in the many streams we pass, that’s enough.” … “Look a pie sales cart, let’s get a slice!” … “Hay bundles! Let’s split one; I’ll carry it then you can.” … “Kabobs! We can even eat the sticks, huh? Huh?!” … “Ew, fish on a stick?  Well, it sure smells good. Kiwe, can we-” “No! Please, stop asking! We’re barely over the first horizon and I’m ready to go buy a muzzle.” Jade clamped his mouth closed with a click of teeth in surprise. He managed to stay quiet for almost twenty minutes. “Kiwe?” A sigh. “Yes, Jade.” “I gotta go potty.” “Then go, there’s plenty of places along the road,” Kiwe gestured to the sparse lands around them peppered with trees and bushes several lengths from the road in places, placed for relieving one’s self. “But, I can’t go alone! Come with me to the bushes over there.” Kiwe looked aside at the colt then to where he was pointing. “Why? I’ll wait for you here, hurry up.” At Jade’s worried expression Kiwe exhaled and adjusted his path off the road. “Here, now go, okay?” “Yeah, just, don’t leave me alone, okay?” Kiwe nodded and turned to watch the path as a wagon caravan traveled by them. “Is this more of that phobia? You know he’s gone, right?” “But he could return, or somepony else could be hiding somewhere. I’ve learned it’s good to be afraid sometimes,” Jade mumbled as he started to relieve himself. “But not all the time, right?” A grunt. “No, not when I have,” another grunt, “a friend like you.” “Ick, have you been drinking your water?” Kiwe’s ears flattened to his head at the sound of obvious diarrhea. “Yeah, well, mostly…” Kiwe placed a hoof to his temple and shook his head. “Soda and ice cream don’t make up for water, Jade. I told you this last week.” “Well, there’s so much more to enjoy here than back home. And I’m used to melting snow in a pot before... drinking it. Your plumping is just weird sometimes.” “‘Plumbing,’ and it’s been three weeks. You should have gotten used to tap,” he stopped and shifted his shoulders. “You know what, it’s okay. We’re gonna be passing plenty of water spots on the way, lots of fiber for you to eat, and the trotting will help with your trots.” “That’s good, cuz this’ gonna be a problem in a couple days.” Kiwe frowned at that, and at the smell. “Great. What a fantastic way to start and adventure across the lands, with a friend that has the trots and so many demands.” Jade snickered between pauses. “You… rhymed again. So cool… cool colt.” With a smirk, Kiwe rolled his eyes. “One of us has to be, yes, and it can’t always be me. I need to take a step away, or the scent will make me spray… puke,” they chuckled. “Just stay where I can see, you, okay?” “Fine, I’ll keep the trees company, they make fresh air, after all.” “Ha, ha. I wouldn’t make fun of you if you had the trots.” “Because I wouldn’t get them. I have a healthy diet,” Kiwe raspberried as he took several paces away to a nearby tree to scratch his back and kill time. … “Kiwe, I’m done. Ready to go?” “Yeah, feel better? Like we can go for a long time without another stop, yes?” “Yes, let’s hurry before somepony comes across that and blames me.” Kiwe led them quickly to the road and they began their journey again. “Why would anypony blame you?” “Cuz, it’s messy and I had to use the bushes to clean up, so those are nasty, too.” Kiwe rolled his eyes but stayed silent, enjoying the silence that befell them. “So, Jade, what do you think of Violet?” “Again?” He asked furrowing his brows. “She’s cool, for a filly. I guess she doesn’t have cooties anymore, since she’s our friend, but still not a filly I’d like to spend time alone with; she’s kinda bossy.” “She smells nice,” Kiwe mumbled with a blush. “Meh, I kinda think so, but not that nice.” “You’ve got your mark, what if you started a relationship with her?” Jade looked back to his flank. “I just got it, because of you, so I'm not thinking of anything like that right now." "Yeah, I understand. I hope to get mine soon, I think I'll like it, no matter what it is." “Whatever you get will be amazing because it’s yours,” Jade said as a little color flushed his cheeks, “I mean, because you’ve earned it.” He stumbled a step when Kiwe bumped him with his shoulder. “So, anyway… did you get the weather schedule at all this week?” Kiwe huffed. “No, and even if I did, it only means in the city, not on the road. Most of the weather between cities is feral, I’ve heard, so it’s less predictable and may be cloudy in the morning and evening but nice in the afternoon.” “Weird, why have any feral weather when there are pegasi everywhere.” Kiwe smirked slyly as he glanced up at a drifting cloud. “The pegasi population makes up twenty three percent of Equestria’s pony population. With the number of weather related jobs and skills it takes the number to seventeen percent of the pegasi population able to work with and control the weather because not every pegasi is skilled in weather manipulation. “Of the seventeen percent there are eight major cities of over one hundred thousand ponies and cover an area of-” Jade’s ears were pressed flat to his head and he pouted at his mistake, knowing Kiwe was in full lecture mode until he was done. ---***--- They yawned and Jade was the first to grumble. “How far have we gone?” Kiwe looked around, returning to the real world from an unknown time of blissful daydreaming. “Huh? I wasn’t listening, what did you say?” “I asked how far we’ve gone.” “Oh,” Kiwe looked back and squinted. He turned his head back ahead and sniffed the air. His horn lit and a glow extended a few feet above his head. He stopped and squinted his eyes in concentration before the spell faded. “Uhm, I think about… pretty far, I guess.” Jade narrowed his eyes. “What’d’ya mean ‘pretty far?’” “I learned the spell, but I haven’t really learned how far is far.” Jade groaned loudly and looked down the road both ways and stomped a hoof. “We’re alone! No pony knows where we are, we don’t have dinner or breakfast! And where are we?!” he reared and landed hard on the ground sending a small puff of dirt around his forehooves. “This is the worst adventure ever!” His voice echoed in the far distance and then silence. “Feel better?” Jade sighed and shook his head, sending his tightly brushed mane loose at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I just freaked out for a second. Let’s get moving,” he turned back onto the path and began to walk. “Jade, I feel that if you’re gonna do that every couple hours after sunset then I think we are going to have a difficult trip.” “And I feel that if you’re gonna learn a distance spell you should learn the whole thing,” Jade retorted without looking back. He yelped as his tail was tugged and looked back with a frown. “What was that for?” “Shh! Come, quietly,” Kiwe moved smoothly from the road to the brush beside the road like a snake moving through grass. Jade followed quickly and tripped over something, yelping as he tumbled and was grabbed, pulled, and muffled by his friend. “I thought it to be a false thought in my mind, yet there is one following us from far behind,” he whispered into Jade’s ear. He didn’t notice when Jade shivered and repressed a giggle. “Stay here and do not move or make a sound, I will see who it is by going around.” Jade’s body hit the ground and by the time he rolled to his belly and looked to where Kiwe was, the zony was gone. He rubbed his ear and shook his head, resting in the bushes as the stars shone overhead in the night. Kiwe slunk through the brush, his mother’s cloak not making a sound as he moved back along their path. He darted between several spaced bushes and moved with a deftness he wasn’t sure he was naturally his but he continued along the side of the road out of sight. ---***--- “Kiwe?!” Kiwe shook his head and looked aside to his friend, the sound of crickets were the background noise that he first noticed. “Huh, what?” “We’re at a waystation, let’s go in and get some sleep. You’re walking asleep on your hooves.” “Jade, we can go another,” he yawned loudly, “waystation. How far is it?” Jade looked ahead at the sign and frowned. “Over a hundred miles. There’s a town between us and there named Dream Hill, still thirty miles away. C’mon, cool colt, move to the right and let’s get a bed.” Kiwe stumbled on his hooves and looked ahead through bleary vision at smudgy lights. “Bed? Yeah, okay.” A few long minutes later they arrived at the single story house and pushed the door open, the sounds and scents of a lively night were in full effect and Jade guided Kiwe in, taking a look around. A large open room with a firepit in the center and bunk bed frames with a single mattress on each, enough for twenty ponies. He counted eight, now adding himself and Kiwe. He guided Kiwe to a nearby bed and helped the colt climb onto it, then turned to look at the adults talking around the fire and listening to an old mare telling a story. He shook his saddle bags off and moved over to them. “Hi, can I sit, too?” A stallion smiled down at him and pointed at an open spot. “Sit over there, I’ve got gas from snacking on green berries,” he snickered and narrowed his eyes, “don’t eat green or red berries beside the roads on this stretch,” he leaned forward and sighed as he passed gas. Jade scrambled away, making all the other adults burst into laughter. He took his seat by the fire and stayed silent, watching and listening to the story being told. Another story came and went, then at the third story he finally fell asleep, warm and cozy.