//------------------------------//
// Sol 144 
// Story: The Maretian 
// by Kris Overstreet 
//------------------------------//


AMICITAS FLIGHT THREE – MISSION DAY 144
ARES III SOL 144


[08:48] JPL: Ha ha, Mark, very funny. We handed that last “soil” sample analysis you did to Astromaterials, and they took one look at it and told us it belonged over at Medical. They put two and two together, or perhaps I should say Number Two and Number Two. The only way you could have picked up that soil sample from the surface would be if you figured out a way to drop your pants without dying out there. Well, you’ve had your laugh, so how about the soil sample we asked for?

[09:04] WATNEY: You correctly identified the substance, but not the source. That night soil came from Fireball, so properly speaking the word for it is “fewmets.” Now please tell both Astromaterials and Medical to take a second look at those numbers, because I can’t figure out how someone on a straight silica oxide diet produces droppings whose non-water content is over 80% carbon.

[09:20] JPL: Yeah, I can see how that might seem a little weird. I’m pretty sure none of us have experience with a digestive tract capable of elemental transmutation. Think you can talk your friends into a full medical baseline?

[09:40] WATNEY: We are here and can read all you send us. Try asking us direct. – Spitfire

[09:57] JPL: Hello, Spitfire. Your English is improving. We’d like you to let Mark weigh, measure, and take samples so we have a full baseline of your medical condition. May he do this?

[10:18] WATNEY: I ask my commander. She says yes. Lucky for you. - Spitfire

[10:19] WATNEY: Great. So now I get to do chemical analysis of everybody’s poop.

[10:21] WATNEY: Good luck finding mine! – Dragonfly

[10:22] WATNEY: Now that’s an Easter egg hunt I could stand to miss.

[10:40] JPL: Is it me, or is this chat becoming a little crowded?

[10:47] HERMES: Not our fault this time! – Johannsen