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// Correspondence via Filthy Rich & Starlight 
// Story: Sincerely, Starlight 
// by Nines 
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Mr. Filthy Rich,

I would like to inform you that your Frazzle Hazzle to Razzle Dazzle Mane Conditioner has left me more than a little dissatisfied. The packaging reads that, "Any mare without the essential oils found in this conditioner will forever be denied the magical dazzlement that guarantees success in life's pursuits." It's true that my mane, which Rarity tells me all the time is "on point", has failed to attain any "Razzle" OR "Dazzle" by her standards--and she should know! Spike and I even used Twilight's Dazzle meter. We are barely pinging three out of ten!

I cannot underscore enough the blow this has had on my psyche. My life feels lackluster. Without any Razzle Dazzle, I don't even try anymore. Why bother? Without a brilliant mane to enchant the ponies around me, I am only half a mare. Failure is my destiny so long as Razzle Dazzle eludes me. 

I would strongly advise that you reconsider this product's inclusion in your next stock shipment lest you have an uprising on your hooves. Thirty bits is not cheap! The counseling I've had to receive is even more expensive... 

With All Due Respect, 
Starlight Glimmer 



My dearest Starlight Glimmer,

While I am truly sorry to hear of your dissatisfaction, I must remind you that all sales are final. 

I also have it on good authority that this "Dazzle" meter you've used is meant for magical saturation in manure, not hair.

With The Utmost Gratitude For Your Continued Patronage, 
Filthy Rich



Filthy Rich, 

Twilight has informed me that, while laughter is an important aspect of friendship, she has made it clear to me that every joke has its audience. Clearly, I picked the wrong one.

Still, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie got a few laughs out of it! That's good... Right? 

All Apologies, 
Starlight Glimmer 



Starlight,
Why you mistake me, dear! I am a stallion who LOVES a good laugh. 

So I'm sure you'll appreciate my amusement when I revoke your preferred pony perks card. Indefinitely. 

All The Best, 
Filthy Rich




[From the diary of Starlight Glimmer]


Regarding the matter with Filthy Rich: I went to apologize to him personally. I felt a little nauseous and sort of annoyed, I mean--revoking my perks card seemed a bit much for such a small prank! (which, in hindsight seemed less like I wanted to apologize so much as argue) only to have him look at me, burst out laughing and say, "Gotcha!"

Pranks are so not my thing...