Celestia's sun skittered across the floor of the bedroom like a kitten on a wet floor and alighted gently upon Twilight's eyes. It didn't do very much. It certainly couldn't stop the thrashing of her legs and the grinding of her teeth. Nothing Spike had tried could, and he'd even begged Zecora in perfect Zanzebranean for super-strength sleeping potions; there wasn't a pharmacist in Canterlot and Ponyville alike who would serve him.
They hadn't worked.
Twilight's head snapped back in the bed and she screamed, screamed as loud as her sleeping lungs could manage. Spike burst into the room and tried his best to calm her down, even to hold his oldest friend as she frothed at the mouth and shrieked like the world was ending. His face was soaking wet after but ten minutes of it, half from it from flecks of Twilight's foaming spit as he held her down to try and stop her from hurting herself even more than she had already.
Finally, after what was the longest two hours of Spike's life since the previous Tuesday, Twilight's sleeping form calmed down enough for him to stop worrying quite so much. There was blood on the sheets again. He'd got much better at washing it out these days, but it was still awkward when he missed a spot and somepony noticed it on the line. Celestia's name, he'd had to think on his feet there.
He went downstairs to start on breakfast for the two of them; Twilight's right eye was twitching in the sun, which meant she'd be awake soon. Hopefully. He stifled a sob and remembered when she hadn't had tortured nights... he just wanted her to be well again.
*******
Twilight let out a miserable, pained bleat where somepony else would yawn. She scratched at her ear and turned to the dresser and the mirror, looking at the night's damage. On the little wooden table was a slim, padlocked leather book; the key was blank, but the lock was attuned to Twilight's magical field. She summoned them both in a flash of purple magic, wincing slightly as she did so, and opened the lock. Another flash, and she had a quill.
Day 146
Injury count:- She cast a quick diagnostic spell she'd got from one of the innumerable medical magic books she had in the library and, as the numbers flashed up in front of her, winced again.
Bruises (new): 48
Bruises (total): 205
Cuts (new): 2
Cuts (reopened): 2
Cuts (total): 83
NB: 6 healed overnight! :)
Abrasions (new): 9
Abrasions (bleeding): 3
Abrasions (total): 40
Spiderweb Horn Core Fracture: +1.2%
SHCF (total): 17.1%
Fractures (new): 0
Fractures (total): 5 (of which 4 rib, 1 horn)
Muscle Tissue Damage: manageable
Nerve Tissue Damage: serious but largely stable
Ocular Damage: minor (down from manageable! :D)
Damage to Legs: severe
Twilight remained dispassionate throughout. By treating it like a slightly dull scientific study, as she'd trained her brain to do, it made everywhere... hurt less. She didn't write about the nightmares, though. To have anypony find the diary and crack the wards would be bad enough, but if they talked about what she saw...
She shook the thought from her head, eliciting another wince, and began to apply her makeup. After twenty minutes of concealer time, she slipped her bedroom door open and teleported to the foot of the stairs; it hurt her hooves less than just walking everywhere. She then made for the kitchen.
"Um... hi, Spike." Her tone was weary and her voice cracked beyond recognition. "It's okay, I can make-"
"No, Twilight." Spike rounded on her. "It is not okay. YOU are not okay! Can't you see you're killing yourself? See a doctor. See somepony. ANYPONY! Just... get help with this, Twilight. We, we can't do this on our own."
"Oh, Spike, it's not so bad. There's no need to see a doctor, or a psychiatrist-" Twilight visibly shivered and Spike took the opportunity to intervene.
"You feel it, Twilight, but you don't see it! You don't see you, you don't have to hold you down, you don't worry that every single bucking night might be the one where something... s-something really bad happens! You don't realise that what you try and do is never enough to stop the pain, never ever enough-"
"Spike!" yelled Twilight. The little dragon clammed up. "I am not, repeat, I AM NOT, going back to Sunnygarden. Do. You. Understand."
"I, I didn't mean-" Spike gulped.
"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO BACK TO THEM!"
Spike nearly fell off his stool and flailed to keep his balance. He succeeded, barely. "Twilight, you can't ever go back. The Princess closed them down, remember? She punished Dr. Caducea for what she did to everypony, for what she m-m-made..." He could get no further into the sentence; Twilight had collapsed into tears.
"I... it's every night. Every night I go through it all over again, but after Discord it just got so much worse... I see her face and her smile and her, her, oh, Spike..." The last word was a plaintive yelp that descended into sobbing, and the dragon put his arm around her shoulders.
"You're safe here, Twilight. She can't hurt you any more."
They stayed like that for a long time, until the smell of cinnamon filled the air. "Oh, uh, muffins are done."
"I'll go get them, Spike. I'm sorry for shouting, it's just-"
"I know." Spike slipped off Twilight's back and made to get the extra makeup from the box while she dealt with the breakfast. Just then, a knock came from the door.
"I'm just doing breakfast, but come in!"
"Breakfast? It's ten-thirty in tha mornin', ya li'l ol' layabout!" Applejack's voice could've carried over a mountain range. Twilight Sparkle smiled wanly, touched up the make-up on her flank, and brought the muffins into the parlour. Today was going to be a long day.