"NO!!! STOP!!! I OFFERED THE IDEA!!! I DIDN'T WANT TO GO!!!" Deadpool screamed as he was dragged by Princess Luna, who had her tired look.
"For the last time," Luna spoke "You're going to attend Twilight's friendship school, learn everything, AND stop your shenanigans."
"But the reader loves my shenanigans! Isn't that right?"
"I don't care who your imaginary friends are, you're going to school! It's bad enough you hid the documents under the pile of filth that is your laundry and we're already a day late."
"I am a full grown adult, and I don't have to take this bulls**t!"
"If you do this, we'll roleplay whatever you want on the next vacation."
"Deal!" Deadpool stood up and ran into Twilight's school of friendship... by crashing through the front door, leaving his silhouette in it like a cartoon character. Every student was in the main hall, who saw Deadpool walk in. He put on sunglasses. "Name's Wade Wilson, Deadpool as everyone calls me, and I'm here to f**k some classes up."
"... Did we invite Deadpool here?" Starlight asked. Twilight pulled out her sheet, but had a wide eyed expression.
"He's enrolled."
"Hell yeah!" Deadpool yelled, leaning against one of the pillars. "Right here to show you guys how a real genius f**ks the education system in it's ass!"
"Ooh! The education system's a donkey!?" A pale pink Hippogriff with a sky blue & pale sky blue mane spoke, flying to his face.
"... Well, hello there. Who might you be?"
"Ooh! The name's Silverstreak! I'm a Hippogriff, as you can see, but wow! You're actually Deadpool!? The hero of Equestria who defeated the Storm King!?" The crowd of ponies spoke to each other in amazement, now realizing who he was.
"Ha! Defeated that guy? No, I did not... I f**king killed him in cold blood! No one, and I repeat, NO ONE, messes with my mooncheeks." Silverstreak squeezed Deadpool's cheeks.
"I don't see any moons on there."
How dumb is this girl?
Considering the fact she's been underwater for who knows how long and had to make her own excitement with seashells... give her some slack.
"I'm sure he means Princess Luna's butt, Silverstreak."A kinda nasal sounding guy spoke. Flying out of the way, and into Deadpool's face, was a blue griffin with a tan underbelly, yellow tipped feathers on his head, with same colored beak and talons. He squinted his eyes, getting a good look at Deadpool. "Hmm... you're not as scary looking as everyone says."
"That's because I wear this mask."
"Right... your face is that ugly?"
"Oh yeah. But also sexy! And who might you be?"
"Gallus."
"Pool. Dead."
"Make way!" A voice roared, pushing Gallus out of the way. In Deadpool's view was an orange dragon with a lighter underbelly, horns that pointed up like a bull's, but with purple fin going from her head to the back. "So, you're the same guy who beat up Garble & his friends, AND survived being eaten by Torch?"
"And avoided a dropped subplot where Ember would be after me." He looked behind, seeing Ember disappear under a bush, but held up a sign that said 'I <3 U'.
"You got lucky on those fights. Any other day, and you'd be burnt to a crisp."
"And if MrAquino wasn't writing this, I would gut all of them and make myself a dragon scale armor like that from Skyrim."
"... Heh, you're not so scary. Name's Smolder. Hope we can see if you are tough as you say."
"NOOO!!! YONA FIGHT SMALL MAN!!!" A loud, but still young sounding, girly voice yelled. Stopping after a charge, and stomping her hoof, trying to look intimidating, but was adorable, was a small yak with pigtails. "Little man fought yaks with friends! Yona smash little man! Yak stronger than little man! Yona stronger!"
"... Well, aren't you an adorable, little hulk?" Deadpool spoke, kneeling to get her height.
"Yona not cute! Yona strong!" Deadpool simply rustled her mane.
"D'aww! You're such a cutie!" Yona growled at him. A pale lime green colt with a short, unkempt aquamarine and cyan mane stood next to Yona.
"Easy, Yona," He spoke with a somewhat surfer-like vibe. "We don't want another fight here, do we?" He turned to Deadpool. "Uh, s-sorry, Mr. Pool. Yona's learning how to control her anger so we won't have... well, another breakout."
"Eh, I can trigger a lot of things. Guns are the easiest... they only have one trigger. Now, where's the last one!? It's a rule of 6 here in this world! Where's the last one?"
"You mean Ocellus? She's behind you." Deadpool turned, only to be meet with himself.
"... Oh my God! I'm gorgeous!"
"Ocellus? There's no need to be afraid." Some blue flames erupted around the other Deadpool, revealing a cyan changeling with blue eyes, a transparent magenta fin & tail, and a red outer wing shell.
"S-sorry." She spoke meekly, backing away a bit. "Y-you're my hero, D-deadpool." Deadpool's heart broke... literally. He had a heart attack.
"HHHHNNNNNG!!!" He fell onto his back, dead.
"... Great! Now I can't beat him up!" Smolder yelled.
"Yona can't smash small man anymore!" Yona added.
"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.
"I'm on it." Rainbow groaned, flying away, but returning with a baseball bat. She swung down onto Deadpool's nut, making the merc got up with a squeeze, going into a fetal position, and tearing up.
"Ooh... right in the baby cannon." Twilight gave Deadpool a piece of paper.
"There you go, Mr. Pool." She spoke with a smug look. "The classes you'll be attending. And I'm glad to see you're making new friends already." She walked away. Deadpool looked at his list. It was as he expected with any high school; dress making with Rarity, farming with applejack, animal care with Fluttershy, Comedy with Pinkie, and loyalty with Rainbow Dash. However, he paused as, at the very bottom, there was a class labeled 'Combat', with Deadpool being the teacher in the fields.
"... Hey! What's up with the last bit?" Twilight stopped and looked back at him.
"You'll find out soon enough. And you might like it more." Deadpool looked at the schedule with a confused look.
Ooh! What if we're actually teaching these new students a thing or two about combat and make Equestria's own version of the X-Force!?
... I wouldn't be surprised.
It was that. Deadpool went to the fields, seeing a note left for him at a shack.
Dear Deadpool,
It has come to my attention that... you're right. And before you start rubbing it in my face on how the canterlot guard is less than up to the task, Princess Celestia has requested me to make sure that the new students will find a class in which they will use what they learn in the field. I've seen how you are in combat, and while it's less than ideal, it gets the job done.
And I've seen how, despite your violent tendencies, you're quite the gentle soul around kids, something I'm sure you saw with the students. Here's to hoping that you can train them well, and so they can train the next generation, and let Equestria have better security.Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle.
Deadpool blinked, but opened the shack's doors. Inside was a pocket dimension filled with every weapon imaginable. A single tear fell down Deadpool's eye.
"It's... beautiful..." The sounds of Footsteps approached behind him. He turned to see the new mane 6 behind him. Silverstreak looked excited, Gallus was too busy looking at his talons, Smolder had a claw on her hip with a disinterested look on her face, Yona looked like she was ready to fight, Sandbar looked around him, and Ocellus hid behind him. A smirk fell onto Deadpool's face. "So... seems I've become you're teacher, eh?"
"Seems like that." Smolder replied.
"Well... as your teacher, we'll be doing things under MY rules. There will be no whining, no surrender, and you will follow everything I say!"
"Yeah, whatever." Gallus spoke. "Can we go now? Lunch is about to start."
"Oh, you will. But here's my first order: Hit me." The simple line made everyone's eyes widened.
"H-hit you?" Ocellus asked. "Oh... uh, I'm not so-"
"YONA SMASH!!!" Yona yelled, charging at Deadpool with all her speed. Deadpool stood there, not even flinching. The Yak began to build up speed. Her horns, while blunt, looked to still deal damage. In mere seconds, before Yona could hit Deadpool, he teleported out of the way, leaving a boulder in his place.
CRACK!!!
The Boulder cracked in the middle before splitting into two. Yona looked around woozily, losing her footsteps.
"Did Yona do good?" She asked. Deadpool returned with a simple boombox.
"No." He replied bluntly. "And I said hit me!" He pulled a boombox out and pressed play. "To make this interesting... all of you attack me!"
"Oh, he's so on!" Smolder replied, cracking her fists. "Let's get him!"
"I'm with ya there!" Gallus added.
"Me three!" Silverstreak yelled. All three flew after him. Deadpool teleported away into a tree.
"Up here!" Gallus charged at him, only to be meet with the merc teleporting away, landing on the cloud in his Burt Reynalds resting pose. "Right here, birdbrain." Silverstreak flew up to him, with Deadpool telpeorting again, right near Smolder. "Come on! I said hit me!"
"I've got it right here!" Smolder roared, flying to Deadpool, fire escaping out of her maw. Almost immediately, Deadpool grabbed Smolder out of the sky, slamming her to the ground, followed by grabbing her tail, spinning, and making her slam into a tree.
"Faster! You were going as slow as a turtle!" He was tackled from Gallus from the behind. The griffin's talons clenched up into a fist.
"Heh, I got you." He said with a snarky attitude.
"あなたはすでに失ってしまった。"
"What the-!?" Deadpool kicked Gallus off, jumping back up to his feet. The griffin was caught off guard, and followed by a flurry of punches from Deadpool across his face.
"Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda!!!" Deadpool repeated, which ended with him jumping into the air and kicking Gallus in the face, making him role across the floor. Yona got into his view.
"YONA NOT LOSE!!!" The Yak yelled, charging back at Deadpool. Clenching every muscle in his body, butt cheeks included, Deadpool stood his ground as Yona charged. He reached out and grabbed her horns, pushed back a bit, but held his ground. With both grunting, Deadpool began to push against Yona, who looked surprised by how strong he actually was. He jumped onto Yona's back, with the Yak running full speed, right into another boulder. The impact made Deadpool fly off, but he rolled across the floor, standing back up, near the pond. Silverstreak landed right in front of him.
"Ha! I have the field advantage here! There's no way you can-"
"Look! Something shiny!" Deadpool pointed. She looked behind.
"Where!?" Deadpool took a rock and threw it in the pond.
"Over there!"
"Minemineminemine!!!" She flew into the water, turning into a Seapony. Sandbar ran to him, unsure as how to hit his teacher. Deadpool simply reached into his pocket.
"Pocket sand!" Deadpool threw sand into Sandbar's eyes, who screamed.
"My eyes!" He yelled, rubbing the sand away. Ocellus stood behind him. She turned into a goat and fainted. Smolder returned with some bark stuck to her scales, Yona, still dizzy, and Gallus with a bruised eye and some teeth. Silverstreak popped out of the water with a pirate's chest.
"Look what I found!" She cheered. "Real treasure! Here! AHH!!! Can you believe it!?" She looked at everyone. "... Did I miss something?"
"Oh yeah." Gallus replied. "A LOT."
"Well, for your first day, you all failed." Deadpool spoke, pulling a clipboard out. "Smolder, you were too slow and relied too much on your brute strength. Yona, you need to slow down a bit and see where you're going. Gallus, you need to be more defensive than offensive. Silverstreak, you need to pay attention and not fall for old tricks. Sandbar... Ocelleus, you were too afraid." All students groaned as he pointed out their flaws... except Sandbar.
"What did I do wrong, again?" He asked.
"But, you all have room to grow. As a wise dog once said, suckin' at something is the first step to being sorta good at something. And I see that potential in all of you. Understand?" Various murmurs. "... Do we need a round two?" Everyone shouted their No's. "Another rule: You must be ready for what happens next, and be enthusiastic! When the time comes, not only will you be prepared, but you'll be MORE than prepared when the danger comes. You're no longer just a class of students hoping to get that good grade. You're all family; Brothers and sisters in combat, using your unique skills as a whole. Today, you will become... The X-Force! And now... let's do this montage. Cue the music."
Inside a shack, all the students cocked their sniper rifle. Sandbar and Yona couldn't grasp their gun well, with Ocellus turning into Deadpool to fire away. With the exception of Silverstreak, everyone kept missing their targets.
Deadpool took his measurements with each of the students, getting their correct size, and drawing concept ideas of what they'll look like, along with the class they'll be.
All the students ran in, holding various assault rifles, attempting to fire at some targets. Both Yona and Sandbar kept dropping their guns, with Ocellus turning into Deadpool, but tripping constantly. Silverstreak had very little control in the recoil of her rifle, with her falling to the floor and shooting into the sky. Smolder broke hers. Only Gallus performed well, moving and shooting, with some flying around.
All the students were given papers on what type of things they would like in their suit, with Deadpool drawing and throwing away some art that did not seem to their liking.
An obstacle course was made for all to try to get through. Yona got stuck in one of the holes, Silverstreak and Gallus found themselves tangled in some rope, Smolder splashed around in the kiddy pool, with Ocellus constantly flying into a small bug zapper. Only Sandbar went through the obstacle course with some dirt on him.
Deadpool sat in class, with Rarity teaching about the type of threads needed to make better dresses. He snored away, but was waken up as Rarity smacked him with a ruler.
A stealth training was on, with the Taco squad acting as security. Yona was easily spotted, with everyone else following suit. Except for Ocellus, who appeared right before Deadpool as him, punching the merc across the face... right before turning back to normal and asking if he's alright.
With the help of his Taco squad, Deadpool began to sew the new costumes, that his students would wear, but had some notes over him saying 'No Cute stuff or DC properties'.
In a row, everyone pulled a heavy set of rocks as they were pelted with food. While Ocellus, Silverstreak, and Sandbar ran away, Smolder and Gallus stood their ground, but Yanna kept walking ahead, almost unfazed by the throwing food.
All the students stood as Deadpool presented their costumes, all with an excited look across their faces.
Everyone had grenade launchers. Sandbar and Ocellus were thrown right away after a grenade was fired. Silverstreak, Yona, and Gallus ran away after the explosions came. Only Smolder remained, who cackled away, blowing everything up around her.
Various close up shots came as Silverstreak put on some goggles over her eyes, Gallus tied a bandana around his head, Yona put on a metal helmet, Smolder strapped on a mask, Ocelus simply put on a hoodie, and Sandbear put on a cap and a handkerchief.
Inside the EEA headquarters, a grey coated unicorn stallion who looked a LOT like Dr. Strange, sat in his podium, looking out into the distance, seeing Twilight's friendship school.
"Ugh, it's already been a month, and I can already sense the chaos that's going to happen." He spoke to himself. "When Equestria's enslaved, it will be I who told them they shouldn't have allow those... creatures to join." He was meet with Deadpool in front of his face.
"Boo!" He shouted.
"Gah!!!" He fell to the floor, but looked at Deadpool. "Oh, it's you. What business do you have? Shouldn't you be... oh, I don't know, try to make a genetic abomination with you and Princess Luna?"
"I would, but I'm on a class field trip right now. And to present you Equestria's new, hopefully, top of the line squad that will do the dirty things you're too afraid of doing."
"And what's that, exactly?"
"Lights!" Small bits of glass broke as the lights above were shot, making the place dark. It was followed by an explosion above, making a hole in the roof.
"What are you doing!? This is a building, not a-" The doors slammed open. Landing and walking in was Deadpool's class, similar to Mortal Kombat and Injustice 2's Character pack trailers. Gallas wore something that was similar to Rambo, with an ammo belt around his chest, holding an M4 Assault rifle in his talons. Silverstreak wore some goggles over her eyes, wearing a red, skin tight swim suit, but her claws, mane, and tail were free to move, as she had a .308 Calibre sniper rifle. Smolder wore a more asymmetric looking armor with her right arm more exposed than the other, having a more flame design to it, as she wore a gas mask and held a M32A1-MSGL. Sandbar entered, looking more normal as he had on a cap with a handkerchief, with a baseball bat strapped to his backpack. Yona walked in, shaking the floor, she was in metal armor that was spray painted red with black, which, also trapped to her back, were twin machine guns. Finally, Ocellus entered, turning into each other them, before revealing her true self, in which she was in a simple red and black hoodie. Deadpool landed in front of them.
"This is the future, you god damn racist piece of s**t!" Deadpool gestured "The team that will be around to save your old ass from not just immediate dangers to Equestria, but dangers that threaten EVERYONE. We are the X-Force, and like it or not, we're here to stay!"
"... Am I supposed to be impressed?" Cricket noises were heard.
"Give me a second, kids. Get to your dorms." Deadpool pulled out a tattoo parlor needle.
Celestia struggled to hold her laughter as Neigh Say stood in front of her with a tattoo on his forehead that, with some sloppy handwriting, read '#Racist', with some... well, naughty man parts around it.
"Are you even listening!?" He shouted.
"Oh, I am." Celestia replied, tearing up from her controlled laughter.
"Then I demand you close the school down!"
"... Sorry, it's not in my power to do so. A school can't shut another school, remember? EEA."
"... I will have my revenge soon, Deadpool."
"Nah, it looks nice." Deadpool spoke. Neigh Say turned to him, only to be flipped off as he disappeared.