//------------------------------//
// Chapter 11: A Drinking Buddy 
// Story: Red Vs Blue: Epsilon in Equestria 
// by The Sentient Cloud 
//------------------------------//

Sweet Apple Acres:

Church cringed mentally at the storm of different sounds coming out of the kitchen. It sounded like the cleaning was more destructive than what had actually made the mess.

He looked around the lounge once again, bouncing slightly in place.
When was the last time he had had alcohol? Back before his deployment at Sidewinder... Which had actually been a Freelancer facility - where he had been tortured... Wait, so he had never had alcohol?
Church grimaced at the thought. Just another hazy memory that wasn't his - Another detail blurring the line between him and the Director.

The noise from the kitchen was – in a feat that Church had thought impossible - getting louder, and for some reason it was punctuated every few seconds with the braying of a donkey.

“What…” Church irritably climbed to his hooves, even as the noise stopped abruptly. “…The hell…”

He moved over to the doorway, and stared through.
“Okay, what the fuck?”

The kitchen was spotless – a few surfaces even glimmering with their cleanliness.
Standing in the middle of the room were the three fillies, each one carrying a proud smile.

“Seriously.” Church looked around in surprise. “How the fuck did you do that? And what happened to the donkey?”
“What donkey?” The orange Pegasus’ smile faded, and the three ponies looked around in confusion.

“I…” Church’s lower eyebrows came up in disbelief. “There is something really wrong with this place.”
“Really?” The olive coloured pony looked around again. “Seems fine t’ me.”

Church sighed. “Forget it.” He stepped into the kitchen, looking at the three fillies. “You’re… uh… Apple Bloom, right?”
“Yep!” The filly in question smiled proudly once more, before suddenly morphing into a squint of suspicion. “Hey. How’d ya know that?”

“You have the same accent as your sister.” Church replied flatly.
“Oh.” Apple Bloom shrugged. “Well this here is Sweetie Bell…” She nudged the confused looking unicorn. “And this is Scootaloo.”

“Umm… Hi?” Sweetie Bell waved awkwardly.
“Hey!” Scootaloo stepped forward, a ‘hardcore’ grin on her face. “You don’t have a cutie mark!”

“Huh?” Church glanced at his flank, and then at the fillies. “Oh, yeah. I haven’t been here that long.”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “But that don’t make a lick o’ sense! Yer a big stallion. How can ya not have yer cutie mark?”
“I just don’t.” Church frowned.

“Wait…" Sweetie bell looked at the other two fillies, a worried tone in her voice. "Then does that mean that we could get as old as him and never get our cutie marks?”

“I don’t know.” Church snapped irritably. “I didn’t even know what a ‘cutie mark’ was until yesterday. What makes them so freaking important?”
“What makes them important?” Sweetie Bell hollered incredulously. “Without a Cutie mark, yall never know why ya really are!”

“I know who I am.” Church shook his head violently. “And I don’t need some stupid picture on my ass to tell me.”

The three fillies stared at him, their mouths open in shock, before Scootaloo turned to the others.
“Come on, crusaders. This pony’s a nut-job.”

Church shook his head as the three fillies trotted past him, through the living room and out the front door.
“Kids.” He muttered, before sighing and returning to his seat.

“Man, I need a drink.” Church mumbled, wondering when Big Mac would return with the Cider.

As it turned out, he didn't need to wait long. The red stallion returned less than two minutes later, carrying a tray laden with a pyrimad of mugs stacked three-high on his back.

'Woah. How'd he stack them like that?' Church mused as he stared at the pile of drinks. "This is gonna be a good day."
"Eeyup." Big Mac replied, trotting past him into the kitchen, and then continuing through into a small dining room.

Church once again stood up, and followed him through.
The stallion expertly slid the tray off his back and onto the table, before stepping to the side and gesturing for Church to take a mug.

“See if it fits ya tastes.” He grinned.
Church briefly pondered why Big Mac would be so happy to share what he had worked hard for with a random stranger. What was up with this place? No-one behaved like they should – well, actually, that was already clear. Horses weren’t supposed to talk.

He stepped up to the table rearing up on his hind legs and grasping the top mug between his hooves.
As Church slowly eased himself back down, taking care not to spill the drink, he noticed Big Mac raise an eyebrow – although why he couldn’t tell. Maybe the colt had noticed his lack of a cutie mark.

Shrugging it off, Church awkwardly maneuvered the mug to his lips, and took a small swig.
He paused, savouring the tang of citrus, and the ‘burning’ presence of alcohol, before glancing at Big Mac.

“Uh… Thanks, I guess.” Church cringed internally at the sentiment. He wasn’t normally in a position that required thanking anybody. “I… really…”
He cut himself off. There was no need to tell Big Mac how much he needed this – and the stallion seemed to prefer silence anyway.

Noting that he had created a slight air of awkwardness, Church took another swig, this one much larger than the first.
“Oh man. That’s the stuff.”


***


Ponyville Town Square:

Twilight looked up at the sun. It was past midday, but no later than early afternoon. They still had four hours or so to find Church before Celestia dropped the sun below the horizon.

“Wait.” Twilight suddenly spoke to herself, before continuing the thought in her head.
‘I’ve only been searching for half an hour. I’m sure I can find him before that. Why am I thinking so long term?’

She looked around. The midday crowd that normally populated the square was thinning out, giving her longer lines of sight – although by now Church had probably moved to somewhere else in Ponyville.

“What am I thinking?” Twilight muttered to herself. “If he’s left the square, it could take me hours to find him!”

Her head whipped around frantically. This was her fault. She’d left Church at the library, and then she’d actually sent Rainbow Dash to talk to him. What was wrong with her? She was screwing up everything.

Continuing her furtive search, Twilight spotted Spike talking to Applejack at her stall. She knew better than to hope Spike had any leads – because if he did, then he would have come and told her immediately, but maybe Applejack would have some good advice.

With that in mind, Twilight hastily cantered over to the stall, a weak smile on her face.
“Hey Applejack. How’s business?”

Applejack turned to look at her. “Howdy, Twilight. Business is fine, thank ya kindly.” She smiled. “I was just talking to Spike here.”
“Oh yeah.” Twilight shifted from side to side. “You know that pony from the hospital? Well, I’ve kinda lo-”

“He’s at Sweet Apple Acres.” Spike cut in unscrupulously.
“-st him.” Twilight finished, before she registered what Spike had just said. “Wait, what? Spike!” She turned to look at him. “Why didn’t you come tell me?”
“Because I didn’t think it was important any-more!” Spike raised both of his hands, as if in defence.

“Why wouldn’t it be import-” Twilight was once again cut off, this time by Applejack.
“Hold ya horses there, Twilight” She placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “You’re worrying yaself over nothing. I sent Church back with Big Mac to get some food. Poor fella was starving.”

‘Right, I left him alone, I sent Rainbow to talk to him, and I forgot to feed him. Great.’ The thought coursed through her head. A small afterthought tried to add that Spike had also ran off and left him alone when he was supposed to be watching him, but she ignored it.

Twilight shook her head from side-to-side, even as Spike continued to defend himself.

“Yeah, that’s why it didn’t seem important. Church is fine.”
“I...” She looked down at her hooves. “I’ve been worrying myself silly over nothing.”
“Like always.” Spike muttered to Applejack, who gave a curt nod.


***


Sweet Apple Acres:

Church looked at his mug glumly – his third.

It was definitely hard cider. The buzz of alcohol was unmistakable, and yet Church wasn’t satisfied. It would take quite a few more before the alcohol could really take hold.

Big Mac was sitting next to him, his face sombre as he nursed his second mug. Church didn’t know the stallion, or understand how his mind worked, but it seemed readily apparent that Big Mac had something to forget as well.

Church looked back down at his mug again, drained it in one swig, and then retrieved another from what had been the pyramid, which was now missing its top cup, the middle four, and one from the base of nine.

Eight more cups for them to put way. This stuff was so light on the alcohol that Church still wasn’t sure that would be enough. He wasn’t even buzzed enough to transgress into the ‘sad/happy/angry’ phase. It had been so long that Church didn’t even know which kind he was.

“Thanks.” He mumbled to Big Mac, an ever so slight ‘tilt’ on his voice. “I haven’t had a drink in… So long…”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac drawled slowly, before draining half of what remained in his mug. “Ah reckon yall got some things ya need to fo’get.”
“’bservant.” Church noted. “You too, huh?”
“Eeyup.”
“I don’t think this stuff’s gonna be enough. Do you?”
“Nope.”

Church sipped at his mug. “How ‘bout this. We slow it down, finish of this stuff, and then head out for some real booze.”
Big Mac pursed his lips, looking pensive. “Bars won’t be open fer a while.”
“That’s why we slow it down.” Church took another sip.

“’kay then.” Big Mac took another drink, not mentioning that it was only Church that had to slow down.

Church nodded, looking down at his mug yet again.
He could really do with a nice plain beer.