My mind was running a mile a second, trying to figure out where everything went wrong. How I was going to salvage the situation I found myself in, and how to ensure that Lightning Dust doesn't get snubbed from the outcome. I liked the mare. She has potential in the Wonderbolts if she gets the chance, but with everything going to shit in regards to The Elements of Harmony. I might make an enemy of her when I get the chance to steal the show against Nightmare Moon. 'Alright, Zephyr Marcus Crowsword. You have until tonight to figure something out. Maybe visiting Rarity could give you some ideas on how to fix this mess?'
"Yes, the décor is coming along nicely. This ought'a be quick. I'll be at the library in no time. Beautiful indeed."
I cringed at myself slightly at the thought of Rarity. Knowing her, she would take one look at me, and either faint or turn me into her personal dress-up doll. My reasoning is two-fold. One: Judging by the looks I've been getting since entering the town, I know I'm quite attractive, and two; my mane. My bitchin' rainbow-colored mane. Now, where are we?
"Not the décor, her!"
Oh, we are already here. Must have spaced out for a bit. Fuck. We must have arrived at town hall just as Rarity was finishing up the decorations, and the mare in question was going through the same script as in the show, however. I could already tell that my presence was going to throw a massive wrench on how she treats Twilight and Spike. Ten Bits says she completely ignores Twilights messy mane and jumps at me like a rabid dog.
"No, no, no, oh! Goodness no," Rarity shook her head while sorting through various types of ribbons. Meanwhile, Twilight, Spike, and I walk up to the fretting mare. I couldn't help but shudder at the sight of ribbons. Not that I hate them or anything! But after being traumatized by Cadence about what certain colored ribbons mean when a mare wears them. I want to stay as far away from them as possible. Example; Applejacks red ribbon. It means she's a bucker and will buck you with all her strength if you swing in from behind and startle her. Another one is a blue ribbon, which means the mare isn't interested in anyone. And a yellow ribbon? A mare with one of those is looking for marriage. I would talk about pink ribbons, but you don't want to touch anyone wearing one of those. The odds of you sticking your appendage in a mare and finding another stallions baby-milk is quite high.
"Good afternoon—" Twilight began, but like her greeting to Applejack, she was quickly interrupted.
"Just a moment, please! I'm 'in the zone', as it were," Rarity said with a wave of her hoof, earning a deadpan glare from bookhorse. "Oh, yes! Sparkle always does the trick, does it not? Why, Rarity, you are a talent. Now, um, how can I help you—?" She gasped the second she saw Twilight. "Oh, my stars, darling! Whatever happened to your coiffure?! And who is that!?" she gasped again, her eyes going wide in shock at the sight of my hideous body. Then, without warning, she dropped everything, walked up to me with her jaw firmly planted in the ground.
"Um, hi?" I greeted hesitantly as Rarity invaded my personal space. "Is there something on my face?"
"Who is this, Goddess!?" Rarity exclaimed while walking around me. Her eyes never leaving my form, and making me feel like a piece of meat about to be devoured. "Such a long and vibrant mane! Is it naturally rainbow-colored? And...And just look at your body! Those hips, those curves! I-I-I-I must have you!"
"Ahem!" Twilight coughed, causing Rarity to briefly look away from me to acknowledge the very annoyed mare. I let out a sigh of relief. "As much as my friend likes attention—" 'Hey! No, I don't! And thank you.' "—We need to make sure the Summer Sun Celebration is on track. So, are you in charge of decorations?"
Rarity blinked for a second, letting what Twilight said to register in her mind. She looked a little miffed that she wasn't able to hog me from the bookhorse and turn me into her latest fashion victim, but once she realized that Twilight was the manager for the Summer Celebration, something clicked in her mind. "Why of course, darling! But first, let's take care of your hair." And just like that, we were back on the script of the show with Twilight being dragged to the Carousel Boutique. I chose to wait outside and far away from Rarity as possible.
I want to say that our interaction with Rarity was a long one with heartfelt warmth and understanding, however. That would be a lie. There wasn't anything heartwarming about it, especially when Rarity noticed that I wasn't inside her store, but in fact, hiding down the street at the local coffee shop. Like seriously! She rammed through her own door, searching frantically like a bloodhound for me! With possibly the most fucking frilly, lacy, dress that she could find! Now, I'm fine with wearing dresses so long as they don't weigh over five-million pounds and didn't cook you alive, but holy mother of fucking cunting god! That dress would have murdered me!
When Rarity couldn't find me, she went back inside to free Twilight from whatever torment she was forced to endure. On the bright side! She was nice and clean. On the not-so-bright side. She wasn't too happy with me ditching her. At least she understood why I ran away. 'Even though she's been giving me the stink-eye while we finished up with the Summer Sun Celebration. Speaking of the Celebration...our last stop on the list was Music. Specifically: Fluttershy.
Thinking about Fluttershy brought a bit of anxiety to the forefront of my mind. She was my last resort for everything that I had planned for Ponyville. Without her help, I will have to dig into Rainbow's bank account and leave town. I could buy a cloud mansion with how much cash Rainbow has, but I can't with good conscience, spend her money. The most I'll take is one month worth of rent and food if I need to. But after that? I need a job. She saved up so much money from her job at the weather factory in Cloudsdale just to buy a home in Ponyville; a home that Lightning Dust now owns, I thought with a sigh.
Shaking my head, I held my head high, but my eyes were waning in its determination. I continued to follow Twilight until we heard the sound of birds singing in an eloquent choir. Well, it was beautiful until one of the birds began singing out of sync. Now or never, Zephyr.
Clearing my throat, we turned around a corner and made our way towards the park near the center of town. The park itself was rather small and uninteresting. There were a pond, a few trails and a couple of benches, and trees. Lots and lots of trees. Sitting next to one of the trees was the last mare we were looking for...aside from Pinkie Pie. She'll show up at the Library when the times right. As for Fluttershy herself? Well, there is one word I can think of when I look at her and its: DAAAAAAAMN!
Her coat was the purest shade of sunny-yellow I've ever seen. Her mane was like gazing upon a cherry blossom tree resting in the center of a meadow of roses. And her curves! The only thing I could compare them to would have to be my own, and that's saying something.
Twilight had the same expression I had when she gazed upon the timid mare. But she wasn't as quick as I was on recovering from the shock. Walking up to Fluttershy on the other hoof cause her mind to go completely blank as well, which made introductions a bit awkward.
"Hey, Fluttershy!" I began with a smile. "How's it going? I haven't seen you in a while." Fluttershy's mouth struggled to form words as her cheeks turned pink, and her eyes went wide in shock. I fluttered my wings slightly, trying to figure out what to do in this situation.
I knew Fluttershy was, well, shy. That when it comes to meeting new ponies, she tends to turn into an adorable wallflower. I bet meeting Rainbow Dash, (or, well, me in her body), after two years must have been a little jarring. Especially with all the work I've done to her body. And going from a thin jock to a luscious nerd might throw her off a bit. 'Not to mention I know nothing of Rainbow's real past. I have to play it safe when talking to Fluttershy or else I might look suspicious.' Thankfully, Twilight came out of her stupor first and began introducing herself to the quiet, timid mare.
"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and you must be Fluttershy," Twilight said with a strained smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you!" I don't know why I thought things would play out the same way. Frankly, that fact died long ago when I became Rainbow Dash, but when Fluttershy finally answered Twilight. The word "concerned,' came to mind.
"Oh, um, hello Twilight. Are you Rainbow's marefriend? It's been a while since I've seen her," Fluttershy said timidly. "Not that I'm judging you two or anything! I'm perfectly fine and accepting of your life decisions."
"Smooth, Flutters," I rolled my eyes, causing the aforementioned Pegasus to blush slightly. "Also, we aren't dating. We've just met today, and we decided to hang out while we explore the town."
"W-What she said!" Twilight exclaimed with tinted cheeks. "Also, we can see that you have music for the Celebration-Sun-Summer thing all under control! S-See you later!"
"Twilight, are you alri-ack!?" I gasped before being dragged away by the purple-smart somewhere else, but before I went completely out of hearing range. I shouted, "I'll catch up with you later Fluttershy! You look good too by the way!"
I would never have thought Twilight would drag me away from a mare against my will in my life nor from Fluttershy of all ponies. Though, after seeing how she looks like outside of a television screen, I can now understand why Photo Finish would want her as a model. Fluttershy had to be one of the cutest mares I've laid my eyes on. It's a shame I couldn't ask her for a place to stay, but I know I'll have another chance at the party.
Speaking of parties, I've noticed Pinkie Pie walking around town while carrying a bunch of stuff. Knowing her, she was preparing Twilight's "Welcome to Ponyville" party at the library. Though, I wondered if Twilight noticed Pinkie Pie as well. After all, the pink mare was trying her hardest to hide from us, but she was failing miserably. Do you know how obvious a moving bush with a pink tail poking out of it is? Yet no one seems to care about it at all! Then again, this is Ponyville, so weird things tend to get ignored all the time here. Anyway! After Twilight dragged me against my will, we found ourselves at our final destination that Twilight insisted we head to. Want to know where we ended up? Well, Sugar Cube Corner of course!
Now, the reason we went to Sugar Cube Corner was mostly to get a cup of coffee and talk about things. What things Twilight wanted to talk about you might ask? Well, according to the list of things Spike was carrying, 'have a platonic conversation with Lady Rainbow Scarlet Dash.' Yes, that is my full name, and I can understand why the original swapped out Scarlet with Danger. It's really girly. And learn what we had in common, share our hobbies, as well as find out whether or not we could be close friends.
It's a date. Twilight, somehow, dragged me into a date. Not that I care all that much, but why me? I mean, Twilight and I have never met before! I'm trying to figure out where Twilight began her infatuation with me to make sense of the situation. The only thing that made any lick of sense for Twilight's attraction towards me had to come from an outside source, but that would mean...fuck. It has to be Cadence! She's the only one I've talked to aside from my doctor and Sunlight Blade. She must have taken all the things I talked to her about and repeated them to Twilight. Hence explaining why she has a crush on me.
Fuck you, Cadence! Fuck! You!
So, now I have to figure out how to tell Twilight that I'm not interested. Even as I stare at my third coffee of the day, I couldn't figure out how. I mean, she is a sweet girl; a bit too bookish for my tastes, it wouldn't hurt for her to get out more often, but is she my type? No, not really. I prefer girls who have a playful, affectionate side. Shy, (potentially super kinky), nerds weren't all that interesting to me.
So, there I sat in a side booth of Sugar Cube Corner with Twilight Sparkle giving me timid looks with a slight tint to her cheeks, and Spike is nowhere in sight. I couldn't help but let out a sigh. I didn't want to do what I was about to do, but it's better to let her go now before bad things could happen. Hopefully.
"Hey, Twilight?" I began preparing for the worst. I have to word it right. "I've been wondering about something, and I want you to be honest with me for a moment."
"Of course Rainbow," she said with hope in her eyes. "What do you need?"
"Why are you attracted to be me?" I can see the bluntness almost physically caused Twilight to flinch at the question. "I mean, not that I'm special or anything; or judging you by your preference for mares, but I have to know. Why me?"
"Well, I-I...um—" began to stutter out with cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink, but before she could give me her response. A fat, annoying, pony shoved her entire body into our table. 'I swear I have the worst luck.'
"Hey girls! Whatcha' talking about?!" Pinkie Pie, the bane of my current existence, interrupted.
"Nothing!" Twilight blurted. "We were talking absolutely nothing that would imply any form of romantic or intimate social interaction between us! Nothing at all!"
I could only sigh in annoyance.
"Okie Dokie!" she smiled before disappearing without a trace, and when I looked down at the table to see if my coffee remained intact. I saw two letters that weren't there before in the middle of the table.
I automatically knew the letters were invitations to Pinkie Pie's "Welcome to Ponyville Party" and that Twilight and I were expected to attend. Knowing the show, I knew this fate was inevitable. Pinkie Pie throws a party for everyone that comes to Ponyville no matter what, and that fact is one of the many reasons I despised the hyperactive pink pony.
Parties are supposed to be special. They are a celebration of a particular individual or event that brought great pride and joy to a community. Parties are meant to show how much you are loved, cared for, admired, and welcomed to a specific person, group, or thing, but what Pinkie Pie does completely ignores that sacredness altogether!