I should've known my night wouldn't be normal, waking up in a room that was sterilized white tends to be a good clue.
“Where in the name of everything that is Holy am I now, the Matrix? Cause if that’s the truth, I don’t think I can pull off a good Neo or Choosen one, way too much pressure.” my smart aleck question got a resounding silence that honestly was disconcerting with how absolute it felt. Looking around the the room I couldn’t discern anything of real note because there was literally nothing to look at but walls and a ceiling! Tapping my foot in irritation at the lack of anything happening I decided to voice my frustrations aloud.
“Ok, did I die or something? Because if that’s the case I thought either Heck or Heaven would be a bit less...Boring or at least have a land-“ A sudden flash of bright light and a powerful Shing sound prevented me from finishing the sentence. The surprising flash of light disoriented me temporarily, spots obscuring my vision. When they eventually vanished from my vision the the sight of the room, or what was once a room, left me totally flabbergasted. Instead of it being the plain white walls it was a perfect blend of both Heaven and Heck, at least what I envisioned them to look like. While surveying the heckish/heavenly landscape, I was speculating on why it suddenly appeared.
“Why did the room change? All I did was comment stupidly on something and,”- The realization struck me like a flaming two ton semi-truck, “It changes when I imaged what Heck and Heaven would look like!” Thinking hard on this realization and it’s implications, I decided to test it out.
“Ok, let’s start off with a-“ Just before I finished my sentence a small, red rubber ball appeared near my feet. “Cool, but I wonder,” with eyes shut and my imagination thrown into full gear, I envisioned one of cinema’s most feared and beloved creatures. A creature that grows inside of a host to then burst forth from said host like a butterfly exiting it’s chrysalis and likes to use vents as a ambush area. Putting everything humanly possible into the mental image, I opened my eyes anxiously to see if it worked. Much too my utter joy, it did and it was moving around like the real thing too! This of course scared me when it got a little to up close and personal with me before it...Butted it’s head against me, rather gently might I add. With only a flicker of hesitation in my movements I pat the critter’s head, who seemed to preen under the attention. “This is both the most awesome and terrifying thing to ever happen to me.” Then I gained a maniacal grin at the implications of what I could do. “Oh this is going to be fun.”
Sometime later...
The entire area outside of my tent was a war-zone, leaving me to constantly adjust tactics against the enemy armies forward advances. The constant explosions from the outside getting to me, making me wonder where in the name of sweet glittery Heck is the Anti-Creme Puff cannons. “Dame it!-“ Another explosion from an Eclair bombardment rocked the very Earth near my tent and trenches, I grabbed my Cinnamon Roll Radio and contacted my pastry in the field, “Sergeant Bearclaw, what’s the status on those cannons!? Our units are getting splattered under Eclair fire!”
A panicked voice cracked through the cinnamon roll, the sounds of explosions nearly drowning it out, “We’re trying sir, but we are pinned down by automatic cannoli fire! I’ve lost half of two Bakers dozen! We need air support! Call in air support!-“ the connection went dead and I was left to ponder my possible solutions to help me win this battle, but could only come with only one. Grunting, I walked over to the weapon locker to arm myself.
“You don’t send a Pastry to do a man’s job,” taking off my candy corn medal decorated general coat and applied under my eyes a little Eye Black, well more like Pink, channeling my inner Rambo. “Time to whip the cream and beat the eggs.” And with a Automatic Cannoli, a Bearclaw blade for close quarters combat, and a belt of Death by Chocolate cupcake hand-grenade, I walked out into the mayhem outside of my Command Tent.
“Take cover!” A high pitched voice squealed as loudly as it could over the sound of Eclair bombardment. Taking the advice, I ducked behind a crate just in time to avoid getting creamed. “No! We lost Private Chocolate Chip! You Cake bastards!” I sigh sadly at the loss of another brave soldier but continued my mission through the trench. At least until I ran into opposition.
“ Ok Cake soilders, let’s show these pastries whose the superior dessert! Charge!” Then all glittery heck broke loose. The Twinke Cake foot soldiers let loose with their automatic cannolis, taking out a poor glazed donut that was behind me. The twins Longjohn Maple and Chocolate returned fire with as much gusto as possible. Their aim with their Cannoli fire held true and eliminated three of five membered assault team, giving me a chance to charge the Twinkes while giving a war cry,
“Eat cool cream you sons of Flour!” With automatic weapon in hand I let loose a barrage of cream, nailing the rest of the assault team, their final agonizing cries signaling there demise. “Come on men-“ I signaled to Maple and Chocolate, “We can hit them where it really hurts, right in their HQ! You with me?!” I got two nods of determined donuts. “Let’s move out then!” At least we would have if the battle didn’t just stop, kinda like it was paused or something.
“What the heck? Why did everything stop col-“ A midnight blue hoof hit me upside the head abruptly, ending cutting off the sentence before it’s completion. Due to the force of the blow, I was sent flying a good couple of feet before landing rather roughly three feet away or so. Groaning, I voiced my discomfort to my assailant,
“Owie! I didn’t even know I could get hurt in a dream, and who the heck just hits someone in the head when their enjoying a dream!?” My bemoaning was actually answered for once by a voice I knew but couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“ We were the one who caused the blow to befall on your head, Creature of Chaos!” As soon as my assailent yelled aloud my face drained of color as I realized who it was, and just what my dream might of looked like. Getting out of the small crater, created by my impromptu flight, I smiled nervously at the waist-high blue alicorn, who was staring at me with a fiery hostility,
“Um...H-hello? N-nice to make your acquaintance?” My hesitant question was replied with her horn sparking with power and was enveloped with her blue aura, probably preparing a spell.
“Creature, what is your connect to Discord? Only a being such as he could concoct such a strange creature as yourself, and for you to be saturated in his distinctive magic.”-Her horn’s glow increased, “You shall tell us, The Princess of the Night, Luna! What your vile plans are! Or suffer dire consequences.” Her horn’s glowed even brighter to punctuate her threat.
“U-um, I was just brought here from my world to add some changes to this world? And Discord did it?” Luna snorted at my hesitant answer. “It’s the truth! He visited me suddenly and offered me a chance to, well come to Equstria.” Her incriminating stare bore into my very soul.
“And your adorable!” I was grasping at straws so I blurted that out without thinking what it might cause. Almost instantly regretting saying that I tried to back-track, “W-wait I mean I... Ugh.” I held my head, both to hide my embarrassment and to maybe lessen the pain of when I get hit again.
“W-what ru-rubbish does thou spout forth from thine mouth? Cease thine lying!” Removing my head from my hands I was greeted with an adorable sight, one I never thought possible. Luna was blushing, somehow bleeding through her fur.
“But...I’m not lying, you are adorable.” Somehow her blush intensified and she looked down and kicked the ground embarrassed by my compliments. “Probably the cutest princess of all the lands.” The poor thing was cover her face with her front legs and was on the ground at that point.
“Please stop! I’m so mortified!” She pleaded for me to stop and I gladly did for fear of her fur permanently changing into a red if I kept going.
“I’m sorry princess,” I crouched down to her level, “But do you still believe that I’m a horrible Chaos being?” She looked up into my eyes from her laid down position, her eyes much calmer.
“We suppose we can give you a benefit of the doubt. However,”-she rose from the ground back onto her legs and stared me dead in the eyes, “You must be evaluated by The Elements of Harmony before I can fully trust you, do we have a deal?” She stuck out her hoof, in a sign of obviously wanting me to shake it. With a bright smile I heartily shook her hoof, surprising her with the sudden jolts of motion her body was going through.
“You got yourself a deal Princess!” Right after I said this the dream around us slowly started to fade. “Huh? Am I waking up?” Luna, still recovering from the sudden jostling, replied shakily,
“Y-yes indeed. A-and I must continue with my job, s-so I bid thee adu.” And with that she vanished along with the rest of my dream, and with one last final eye closing I woke up.