(Gore warning)
I turned to my companion as we ducked behind cover and whispered,
“What do we do? We’re outnumbered and they have magic?” (Okay, yes I had magic too, but that was my ace-in-the-hole so I try not to open with it.)
Einheria narrowed her eyes and signed something. I shook my head.
“I’m going to assume you said something about not giving up without a fight?”
She shrugged and flopped her claw from side to side.
“Alright, that works. But we need some sort of plan at least. Ideas?”
She signed something that ended with something like jazz hands followed by her punching her fist into her palm.
“I’m assuming that meant something like distraction?”
Once again she nodded.
“Alright, I’ll buy you some time while you do... whatever. Just please... do whatever you’re doing fast.”
She nodded and I slowly peaked out from behind the wooden dresser we’d been hiding behind. There, waiting with smug looks, were Scorcher and his lackeys. He scoffed and said,
“Ready to get this over with? I haven’t got all day.”
Alright, stalling. I can stall for a while. Just get him monologuing about how unjust the world is or whatever.
“Well I just want to know something.”
He shrugged and I continued.
“Why do all this? What’s your motive?”
“Uh... money. I want lots of money. And this is the fastest way to get it.”
“Surely there are better alternatives than crime?”
“No, not really.”
“Well—“
Scorcher raised his claw.
“Yeah, uhhh, I don’t really know what you’re trying to accomplish by stalling, but no. It’s not going to work.”
Changing tactics then. I pointed at him and over-dramatically called out,
“Well then why don’t you call off your goons and fight me one-on-one like a man!”
“No way. Even the best fighter can lose to a novice who gets lucky. That’s why you always bring more people than your opponents.”
Scratch that one, time to just be immature.
“COWARD!”
He shrugged.
“I guess. I’d rather be a coward than dead.”
“PANSEY!”
“Wha—“
“SCRUB!”
“I don’t—“
“GET ON MY LEVEL!”
“Now that doesn’t—“
“YOU HAVE BABY HANDS!”
“Huh?”
“DO YOU EVEN LIFT?!”
“Well I—“
“FAG!”
“Now that’s just—“
“GO EAT SOME BIRDSEED UGLY!”
“HEY!”
“YOU SMELL LIKE A WOMAN!”
“YOU LOOK LIKE A SCARECROW!”
“I’VE SEEN RABBITS BIGGER THAN YOU!”
“I’VE EATEN GUYS BIGGER THAN YOU FOR BREAKFAST!”
“TOOL!”
“WANKER!”
“NOOB!”
“TOSSPOT!”
I drew myself up as all Scorcher’s goons watched the verbal back and forth. Now was time for the big finisher.
“YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER! AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES!”
The four bandits “ooooooh”ed as Scorcher stared at me, slackjawed. He cracked his knuckles and said,
“I’m going to kill you for that!”
“You couldn’t kill yoursef, let alone me!”
“SCREW YOU!”
“You wish!”
His cronies snickered behind their claws. Scorcher seethed.
“I’m going to beat you within an inch of your life!”
“You probably do the same to your willy every night.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game, dragon! I eat little turds like you for breakfast!”
The biggest and dumbest of his cronies snickered and I said,
“You eat turds for breakfast?!”
“STOP TWISTING MY WORDS INTO INSULTS!”
He turned to his bodyguards and screamed,
“AND YOU LOT! STOP LAUGHING AND KILL HIM BEFORE I ZAP YOU TO ASH!!”
The bandits immediately turned on me with a look of both fear and vicious bloodthirst. Fortunately, it was now that Einheria made her move. As I’d been distracting the bandits, she’d crept from shadow to shadow, getting as close as possible. Now, she lept into action, intercepting the four griffins with a flash of steel.
Fast as a striking snake, she danced through them, her sabre glittering, scarlet ribbons flying with each sweep, faint “schlik-schling, schlik-schling”s filling the air with each graceful step of her paws. In a matter of seconds she was standing on the other side of the group, posed like a dancer after her performance. With a soft “thunk” the four bandits toppled to the floor.
With a growl Scorcher lept onto a table near me and raised his clawed hand, his gaze fixed on Einheria. There was a glow from his ring and lightning began to accumulate in his claw. Time slowed as my mind raced, adrenaline coursing through my veins.
That glow. His ring. That has to be it. So if I get that ring away from him. Yeah. But how. Wait, I’m a dragon. I’ll just Gollum this fool.
Before he could cast his spell I grabbed his claw and pulled him towards me. Time slowed to a crawl as he turned his head in surprise. His eyes widened as I opened my mouth and bit down on his middle claw. There was a sickening crunch and coppery blood coated my tongue. Scorcher shrieked in pain as I spit out his amputated digit before pulling the ring off it and reflexively tucking it into my pocket.
He toppled off the table and crawled towards the door, cradling his maimed hand. He took a breath and screamed,
“YOU LOT! GET YOUR USELESS ARSES IN HERE AND KILL THESE PUNKS!”
There was a rush of footsteps and slowly bandits rushed into the cave. For her part, Einheria was a tornado of steel and blood as she slashed, stabbed, and whirled about the place. As for me, well, I don’t fully remember much but I clearly recall having my knife torn from me within the first few seconds. However, some sort of dragon instincts kicked in and I whirled, claws raking, jaws snapping, and flames blossoming from my maw. Whoever didn’t get clawed or bitten was set ablaze or blinded by my fire. I hadn’t managed to kill anyone yet, but I had wounded quite a few. The bandits drew back and began harrying me with spears as one of them called out.
“Crossbows! Turn them into pincushions!”
I growled as the blades of their spears pricked my arms and shoulders. Without my noticing my coat had morphed into a thick, padded vest that was doing a good job of protecting my vitals. As for the rest of me, my scales were stopping any major wounds, but I still had accumulated a collection of gashes and cuts where the blades had hit between my tough natural armor.
I breathed in as deeply as I could and sent a roaring inferno tearing through the bandits. They all swore and began beating at the flames. I roared as someone threw their spear and it buried itself deep in my side.
Out of my peripheral vision I saw at least half a dozen bandits with crossbows line up and take aim for Einheria. She was already hard-pressed just to fend off her multiple opponents and was bleeding from a gash on her flank. Overall she was actually doing better than I was given she didn’t have any protection. With another gout of flame I charged through my opponents and covered the griffiness with my body. There was a chorus of loud “twang”s and pain exploded all over my back as the bolts embedded themselves deeply in my flesh.
There was a chorus of screams and thuds and I twisted on my heel before collapsing to my knees. Through bleary eyes I saw a vague silhouette brandishing a long straightsword decapitate three bandits at once. I felt Einheria grab my shoulder as the bipedal figure made short work of the remaining bandits until only Scorcher was left. He was using his maimed hand to cover the stump that had once been his left hindleg as he stared up at the newcomer. He croaked, blood trickling from his beak.
“No! This... this can’t be the end! I... I am Scorcher! I am the scourge of Gaisgeil! Of the whole Gryphonian Empire!”
The swordsman scoffed and twirled his sword in a tight circle by his side before raising it diagonally to his side.
“No, you’re dead is what you are.”
His blade cut a crescent-shaped sheen through the air and Scorcher ceased to be. I collapsed as he strode towards us, and I knew no more.