Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare...
Placed in center stage, Rarity looked almost befuddled by the fact that her little dragon friend was standing beside her under the spotlights.
...Blank I thought Luna was next...
She was...
...But I thought since you've been so good lately, I'd give you a treat...
Really...?
Sure...
...Well thank you Blank...
"How would having us here be a treat for her?"
She feeds off of love...
...The more love the better...
And ONE OF YOU is a regular buffet of love...
"Hold on for a--"
"Wait a second--"
Rarity...
...is an advanced robot from the future...
"Pardon?"
"Ignore it, they said pretty much the same thing to me my first time."
"Ah, running out of marital are we?"
Spike...
...lusts after Sweetie Belle...
"Spike would never lust after anyone!"
"Yeah. Gross."
Spike...
...finds Rarity's gene pool to be gross...
"That wasn't what I meant!"
"Honestly, do you enjoy twisting words so much? Is that your only skill?"
No...
...I'm a male of many skills...
...After the show I can show you some of those skills...
"Back off of her!"
Oh...
Spike...
...doesn't like it when his wench is mocked...
"W-wench?"
"Sir! I am not a wench!"
Of course you aren't...
"Thank you."
But this is a family show so I can't call you what you really are...
"I will not stand for--"
Rarity and Spike...
...Are still working on those Dragonies...
"Drag-whats?"
"Uhhhh... N-No! We aren't doing that."
"Spike? What's a drag--OH! Oh you improper rogue! How dare you even insinuate--"
Rarity...
...is disgusted by the insinuation of mating outside of other species...
"I-I am not!"
And you can read all about her ideas on out-species mating in her newest book...
..."Kruelty Kan Kreate."..
"I am not a racist!"
"Yeah. If anything, you three are the racists."
We're three different species and we work next to each other without any problems...
...plus one of us is a member of EAAOS...
"...The what?"
The Equestrian Association for the Advancement of Other Species...
"You're making that up."
Oh yeah...
Of course you wouldn't have heard of it...
"I'm not racist!"
Rarity...
...is racist against racists...
"We--I...Spike how do I answer that?"
"...I have no idea..."
Spike...
...supports racism...
"I live with a pony, I grew up with ponies, I have a pet Phoenix, I get along with other dragons, and I love the buffalo when I see them."
...What about snipes...?
"Those aren't real..."
Ah-hah!
So racist you ignore their existence...!
"But they don't exist!"
"I have to agree. I've never seen one either."
Rarity and Spike...
...are anti-birdites...
"We aren't racist for the love of Celestia!"
Fine...
Rarity and Spike...
...are about to be let go for the last time...
"...Really?"
Yes...
...After one last thing...
"Should've known..."
"It can't be all that bad, right Spike?"
Oh...
We'll see...
Queeny roll the recording...
Spike...
...finds Rarity to be disgusting...
"No. She's the most beautiful pony in all of Equestria-- No, the universe-- No! The multiverse if that really exists."
"Stop! Don't play anymore!"
"...Spikey?"
Don't worry...
...It's not like we have more clips...
"Thank Celest--"
Oh wait we totally have one more clip...
Spike...
...stalks Rarity...
"A little. I'm ashamed to admit it, but if I don't admit it, it'll come to bite me, won't it."
Chomp, chomp...
Looks like it's biting you now...
"Celestia please, stop!"
"..."
Now you know...
Rarity and Spike...
And to avoid even more embarrassment...
Suddenly, a small screech stretched across the stage as a large speaker twitched to life.
EVERYBODY!
RARITY IS GIVING OUT FREE GEMS AND KISSES TO WHOEVER CAN TACKLE HER OR SPIKE TO THE GROUND!
"What!?"
STARTING...
With a loud thud, a gate on the side stage fell open to reveal a mob of ponies and many other species within distance waiting there, mixes of desire on their face.
NOW!
Both Spike and Rarity made no time to express their hate for this action as they screamed and ran off to the other side of the stage, followed shortly behind by the clustered mob of howling boys and screaming girls.
...Through adversity we are made stronger...
...Only with the passing of torment and trouble do we actually see the full extent of our devotion to love and ourselves...
...You read that in a book...?
No, it was written on my last Riceicle wrapper...
Really? All mine said was 'believe in yourself. Dream, try, do good'...
You mean do well, correct?
No...
Do good...