//------------------------------// // Orthoclase // Story: An Eternity of Rocks // by McPoodle //------------------------------// Orthoclase “I’ve got to say, the chapter names are getting more exotic.” “I could change it to ‘Moonstone’—that’s the gem form of orthoclase.” “I’ll reserve my judgment until I’ve finished the chapter.” Nearly an hour of walking brought Maud to a flying device—a white gondola with a propeller on the back, supported by two hot air balloons. Depicted in enormous form on the two balloons were the heads of two smirking unicorns in straw boater hats, one with a mustache. Painted across the body of the rectangular gondola were the words “Flim and Flam Cloudsdale Tours”. A ticket stand was set up in front of the staircase that led up to a door in the side of the gondola. Running the stand was the mustache-less pony from the balloons. “Welcome, little miss,” the unicorn called out to her when she was close enough. “Interested in a fascinating and entertaining tour of the incredible pegasus metropolis?” Maud said nothing until she reached the stand. “I was wondering if you knew how I could get up to Cloudsdale. I don’t need to take the tour.” “Oh, I’m afraid that there are no other ways to get up to Cloudsdale,” the unicorn said with a sad frown. “Not without making reservations days in advance. If you’d like to go up to Cloudsdale, you’ll have to take the tour.” His face then immediately lit up. “But what a tour it is! The Equestria-famous Weather Factory! The historic Citadel! The unbeatable centerpiece of fashion that is Empyrean Way! And the unforgettable view from Cloud Terrace! On a normal day, you would be able to see all of this with Flim and Flam Tours for the low, low price of only five bits a head. But today only, Flam and I have managed to get the deal of a lifetime! The chance to see the one-and-only Wonderbolts live at the Cloudeseum. And not just from the stands, but up above them, a bird’s eye view never to be missed! And for the unbelievable price of only five additional bits! That’s less than you would pay to get a seat at the Cloudeseum, a seat that I can assure you completely sold out over a week ago! So what do you say? Ten bits for the most incredible day in your life?” During this speech, Maud had the time to get a look inside the gondola. There were benches to sit on and tables bolted to the floor with indentations to hold food or drink still in case of turbulent weather. A half dozen earth ponies and unicorns were already inside, all of them older than Maud. Maud knew that once she got up to Cloudsdale, she would need all the help she could get. That meant befriending one or more of these tourists, hopefully one that had actually been to Cloudsdale before, but even a complete newcomer would have better social skills than her. On the bright side, none of her usual tormentors from the town were among the crowd. Unfortunately, there was nopony she knew inside, either. “I really only need to get to the Cloudsdale Elite Summer Flight Camp,” Maud told the unicorn salespony…Flim? He said he wasn’t Flam, so he must be Flim. She raised her voice to add, “I need to see a pegasus filly named Rainbow Dash. It’s really important to me.” Most of the future passengers were already looking her way, apparently out of boredom. Absolutely none of them showed any sign of recognition on hearing Rainbow Dash’s name, thereby dashing Maud’s hopes that she could make her essential friend that way. “That’s cute.” “What is?” “You said you wanted to see Rainbow Dash, but when nopony spoke up, your hopes were dashed. ‘Dash’ and ‘dashed’. Maud grabbed the book and made another correction. …on hearing Rainbow Dash’s name, thereby dashing spoiling Maud’s hopes… “Aw.” Flim glanced curiously into the gondola to try and see what Maud was up to, and then turned back with a shrug. “Sorry, little miss—Flight Camp’s at the Academy and the Academy is strictly off limits for tours. I can let you off on the property boundary, but it will be out of my way, and could very well make us late for the opening of Wind Rider’s retirement ceremony. So I’ll do it out of the kindness of my heart, but it will cost you an additional two bits.” Maud looked into her apparently nearly-empty saddlebags. “How about one additional bit?” “No can do, little miss. Two bits or no deal.” Maud waited for a few moments, then fished seven bits out of her bags and dropped them onto the counter. Flim looked down at the bits then over to Maud. “Is this some kind of joke?” “What do you mean? You said that dropping me off at the Academy would threaten your group reaching the Wonderbolts show. That means I will be missing that show, and therefore I shouldn’t have to pay the five bit premium for it.” “Makes sense,” agreed an earth pony mare from inside. Flim looked back, saw that the crowd was more or less united in this opinion, and slumped. “Very well, seven bits it is.” And he slid her half a ticket. “Please come in. We’ll be taking off as soon as my brother and partner shows up with the cloudwalking charms.” Now came one of the important parts. Maud had found out this information two days ago, but she needed to be absolutely sure. “Cloud walking?” she asked. “Why yes, little miss,” answered Flim. “You didn’t think that you could just walk anywhere you please in Cloudsdale, did you? The city’s made of clouds—hence the name. My illustrious brother Flam and I have developed a revolutionary method for enchanting common objects with useful spells.” (This was a lie—Maud had seen such items sold on the streets of Rockville.) “In this case, charms designed to keep you from falling through clouds for a full half-day, much longer than our tour and show combination will take.” Flim consulted a pocket watch tucked into his striped vest. “I’m sure he’ll be around any minute, since our tourism permit requires that you all have proper safety equipment before we can set sail. But in the meantime, feel free to order any of our tasty pre-packaged snacks and drinks.” The crowd started grumbling—they clearly had been here for quite a while, and had already been burned on Flim’s over-priced concessions. “And…here! Some free reading material to while away the intervening minutes!” From a compartment he produced a pile of months-old magazines, and distributed them near-randomly. Maud saw this lull as an opportunity—her last chance to make a friend before the tour started. Flim shoved an open comic book in her face, but she steadfastly ignored it as she nerved herself up to approaching a total terrifying stranger and… In the cold, heartless City of Progress, there was nopony who cared for the welfare of animals…other than a kindly veterinarian pegasus named Spruce Spanner. Spruce Spanner, a mare who could never get another pony to notice her cries for animal rights, because she could never raise her voice above a whisper. For Spruce Spanner was an emotional mute. And with that, Maud was hooked. Maud had no prior experience with comic books, believing them to be beneath her. But this strange and wondrous volume spoke to her of a character strangely like herself, only her obsession was with animals instead of rocks. But she shared Maud’s fatal inability to connect with others. Spruce redirected her frustration to the defense of her animals, who were dying of pollutants that would surely doom the pony populace next. She sought to give them the strength to fight back with a magical marvel, but when the city’s chief industrialist, Thunder Bits, bulldozed over her sanctuary to expand his bloated empire, the machine malfunctioned, inflicting a horrific curse upon poor Spruce. Now, whenever she witnessed animals being abused, she transformed into a beast with the mind of an angry animal, the Saddle Rager. As the horrified Thunder Bits soon learned, the more Saddle Rager was enraged, the stronger she became. By the end of their first epic confrontation, Saddle Rager was finally subdued with sleeping gas. Thunder Bits only barely missed discovering the Saddle Rager’s secret identity, but despite the destruction of his factory, this is no victory for Spruce Spanner either, for Thunder Bits had been elected Mayor of Progress on the very last page, and vowed to turn all the resources of the city towards a vast marehunt of Public Enemy Number One. By the time she had finished the comic, Maud found that the gondola was already airborne, with the cheap magical trinket tied around her neck. “That’s an interesting story you came up with.” “Oh Saddle Rager is real. Or rather, she’s a fictional character that I didn’t make up. Her comic only lasted six issues before being cancelled for low sales. After Marevel was bought out by DC she showed up in Power Ponies, but without the seriousness or environmentalism message of the original title. And this Saddle Rager was less of an animal and more of a foal—which removed any trace of moral ambiguity.” “Did you discover her from Rainbow Dash’s collection?” “No, Spike’s. He’s a much better author of Daring Do fanfiction.” “And what about Flim and Flam?” “They’re real. I got them from one of Pinkie’s letters. Or maybe two.” “Welcome to the Weather Factory!” proclaimed Flim. “To my right you can see the rainbow outtake pipe, and over there is where the new baby clouds are produced. If you look carefully through that window over there, you might even see the flash of a newborn lightning bolt or two.” The gondola was parked on a cloud in the factory’s parking lot. And Flim was standing outside the open door on that cloud, pointing out features with the tip of a cane he was carrying. “Excuse me,” Maud interrupted. “How long did you say these charms lasted?” Flim rolled his eyes. “Ten hours.” “Oh,” said Maud. “I don’t think that will be long enough for my visit.” “Well you should have thought about that before you bought your ticket,” Flim replied coldly. “You’re not wearing a charm,” Maud observed. “How come you aren’t falling?” “That’s because I have a permanent enchantment cast upon this medallion,” Flim explained, pulling out a pair of hoof-sized disks on chains from under his vest. “Believe me; it cost a pretty pile of bits to acquire.” Each disk had the words “Cloudsdale Tour License” inscribed upon it. Maud looked at the front of the gondola, where there were clearly two seats for controlling the vehicle. “Is that other one your brother’s?” she asked. “Yes, but as I told everypony when the charms arrived by delivery post, he came down with the feather flu and was unable to join us.” “So can I borrow his medallion for my trip?” Maud asked. “I promise to give it back when I am done.” Flim boarded the gondola so he could look down at Maud. “Now look here, little miss—there’s customer service, and then there’s flat out exploitation! What’s to keep you from running off with this valuable item, an item whose loss could jeopardize our entire operation?” “I’ll pay you a deposit.” “Well I paid five hundred bits for each of these items, so I can’t see giving one to you without requiring a thousand bit deposit.” He looked up to see that the crowd was watching this entire transaction. “Tell me that I’m wrong,” he added defiantly. A stuffy looking unicorn nodded his head in agreement. “Oh I completely agree. As much as I sympathize with the filly with wanting to see her friend, asking twice what the item is worth is only just to protect your investment. And you are going to give that deposit back afterwards?” “Oh certainly. One hundred percent,” said Flim. “Assuming she can pay.” The others agreed with Stuffy. Nopony offered to pay any of that deposit, or accompany Maud on her journey. So Maud retreated to a corner of the gondola as the tour resumed and started quietly removing bits from her saddlebags. “Alright, Little Miss, we’re at the edge of Cloudsdale Academy. If you’ve changed your mind about getting off, you need to give me three more bits to pay for the Wonderbolts Show.” Maud stepped away from the piles of bits she had accumulated. “Here’s your deposit,” she said. Flim was at a loss for words, a very rare condition for him. He spent a few moments inspecting the stacked piles of bits. “It’s…it’s a thousand bits,” he finally concluded. He then looked narrowly at Maud’s still empty-looking saddlebags. “Where did you get them?” “Do you want me to take them back?” Maud countered. “…No.” He took off one of his medallions and dropped it at Maud’s hooves, then gave her a tour brochure. “When would you like me to pick you up?” “Tomorrow would be fine,” she said as she put on the medallion. She made sure to tuck it inside her dress, to make it harder for anypony to take from her. “Are you sure your little reunion…or whatever…is only going to take one day? I’d rather not have to go out of my way for you over and over again. And when my brother recovers, he’ll need that medallion.” “I promise that my business will be over by Wednesday,” Maud said, making her way past Flim and out of the gondola. She felt a strong sense of pride in getting everything she wanted out of the shifty salespony. She found herself standing on a sidewalk made of clouds. The “street” was an empty lane in the clouds, and looking towards the grounds of the academy, she saw that it was made up of only isolated bunches of clouds, with vast empty spaces between them. She suddenly felt a lot less triumphant than she had a moment earlier. “I don’t suppose there’s any sort of public transportation to get around?” she asked. “No,” Flim said with a triumphant sneer. “Pegasi don’t really believe in public services,” Stuffy stated. “They consider it a form of weakness. In fact, if the average pegasus’ grandfather suddenly became too lame to fly, she’d probably let him fall out of the sky, knowing that without him, the net fitness of the pegasus race would thereby increase. Good luck with your quest!” And with that, the gondola flew away. Maud watched it go. After what she had just heard, she suddenly had a lot more admiration for Rainbow Dash. (Yes, I do know that “Stuffy” was repeating untrue stereotypes about pegasi held by some unicorns. But young Maud doesn’t know that.) “I’m ready to render my final verdict: there’s not enough Princess Luna in this chapter to justify changing the chapter name to Moonstone.” “Sounds fair.”