Twilight Sky and Faerie Dust were chatting in the defendant’s lobby when Phoenix got there. Apparently his worry showed on his face, like every other emotion he felt, because both of them looked alarmed once they saw him. Phoenix was alarmed too; nearly every inch of Twilight’s light gray fur was covered by darker gray tattoos.
“What happened?” Dusty asked.
“What’s wrong?” Twilight Sky echoed.
“It’s not about your case,” Phoenix told Twilight Sky. “Just workplace drama.”
“What did my sister do!?” Faerie Dust said. “If she fired you for taking Twilight’s case…”
“I said it wasn’t about Twilight and I meant it,” Phoenix said. “It doesn’t matter yet; I’m more worried about you, Light. What happened to your fur? Overnight?”
Twilight Sky looked down at his fur at laughed weakly. “What an embarrassing mess… I told you yesterday about my heat-activated tattoos, didn’t I?”
“You have that many?” Phoenix said.
“I was a really, really stupid teenager,” Twilight Sky sighed. “Anyway, apparently all a prisoner’s tattoos need to be written down in the paperwork so they put me in a sauna and took so many pictures and they still haven’t faded yet and I so don’t want to go out like this….”
“If we dump ice water on you, will they go away?” Faerie Dust asked.
“It’s supposed to work that way but it’ll just make them fade a few hours from now,” Twilight Sky said glumly. "Unless I want to just soak in ice water for several minutes until they disappear, and I don't." Then he shook himself. “What am I saying? Why should I care about that when I’m on trial for my life!?”
“You won’t be found guilty,” Phoenix said, “and even if you did, which you won’t be, you won’t die!”
“But starfire is supposed to burn murderers until they become good ponies, right?” Twilight Sky said. “And if you’re already good it just burns you up?”
Phoenix hesitated, trying to translate the laypony’s terms.
“If you’re possessed by a demon or tainted by black magic,” Faerie Dust interjected, “then starfire will burn it away. If you’re just mentally unbalanced and that’s why you’re a killer, it’ll make you calmer. If you’re 100% normal, then…”
“No one knows for sure, really,” Phoenix said slowly. “We only have one known totally innocent pony who stayed on a star for a super long time and was studied carefully when he was acquitted and released… and fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, the magic of forgiveness healed the physical damage the starfire had done and even repaired some of the trauma, so we only have his subjective account for what it was like…”
“I read an interview with him in a criminal studies magazine,” Twilight Sky said. “He said it was lonely mostly. Lonely and cold and dead…” He hugged his forearms tightly around his body and shut his eyes. “Let’s talk about you again, Phoenix. Why the long face again…?”
“It’s really nothing to do with you,” Phoenix said.
“But it isn’t to me,” Faerie Dust said, suddenly pushing Phoenix off to the corner. “We’ll be back,” she shouted in Phoenix’s ear to Twilight Sky.
“Ow!” Phoenix whined.
“Okay, spill,” Faerie Dust whispered once they reached the corner. “I mean… I don’t mean to order you, but, but I really want to know….”
“…I... I left Mystic's employ,” Phoenix muttered, hanging his head in shame.
“What? Why?” Faerie Dust looked distressed. “How are you going to pay her back?”
Now more than ever Phoenix wished he could lie. If only he could tell her it was nothing to worry about, or that he'd pay her back somehow.
"I don't..." He attempted to swallow the words before they came out. "I don't need to pay her back." Just stop there, Phoenix. But his mouth moved on its own. "Because I have l-l-legal grounds not to."
"What?" Dusty looked distressed. "What do you mean?"
This was it. He was going to turn Faerie Dust against him, too.
"Because she assaulted me in a fit of rage. She didn't want me dead or anything but she still nearly killed me. Completely and totally by accident," he hastily added.
Faerie Dust stared at him with a dead expression. She opened her mouth, then closed it. Then small tears appeared in her eyes.
"It was because of me, wasn't it?" she whispered.
"Yes," Phoenix said, before he could stop himself. "Dang it, Dusty, can we please stop talking about this now?"
“Talking about what?” Justice Bright asked cheerily.
“Oh stop…” Phoenix told him.
Faerie Dust's shoulders slumped and she stared at the ground.
"I... I'm sorry..." Phoenix said.
"Please don't apologize," she said. She straightened up with a determined expression. "I'm going to ask my sister what the Tartarus she was thinking the next time I see her." She exhaled slowly, seething a little. "Now what about you? Where will you live?"
“We’ll worry about it after the trial,” Phoenix said. “Right now what matters is keeping Light safe…”
And making sure Shocking can never hurt anypony again.
***
The courtroom was completely packed. Shocking Snap’s assault of Bottle Cap had been widely publicized; apparently everypony was eager for round two.
“The shame of it,” one mare was whispering to another. “The poor mare went through so much when she accidentally hurt that poor colt before, and now they’re dragging her into something she wasn’t even connected to. It’s a violation of double jeopardy.”
Her companion nodded.
“Hope that witch finally gets what she deserves,” another hissed.
Two shouting matches broke out on opposite ends of the courtroom and several ponies got out of their seats to watch or support their side.
“Order!” Justice Sterling Scales shouted, banging his gavel. “If anypony thinks they can do a better job than the justice system in deciding this case, let them do it outside the courtroom!”
Gradually the shouting died to a dull murmur.
Unsatisfied, the judge pounded his gavel again. “I said order! Everypony be quiet or I will hold a private trial!”
“Not very decorous, are they?” Faerie Dust whispered to Phoenix.
“Some of them must not have been to any trials before,” Phoenix muttered back.
“Mommy? Why are they allowed to talk?” someone behind Phoenix’s head said.
Kids don’t belong at murder trials! Phoenix thought.
“Ahem,” the judge said. “If I may… court is now in session for the trial of Twilight Sky.”
“The defense is ready, your honor!” Phoenix called.
“The prosecution is also ready.” Cross Examine didn’t look ready; her mane was in disarray from being tugged on and twirled.
“Yesterday, the defense discovered something unusual about the witness’s account of the crime: that there was a flash of lightning inside the donut shop,” the judge reviewed. “In light of this very unnatural occurrence, the defense proposed a solution involving a… well known member of Canterlot’s herd of photographers, and given the strong personal link between Shocking Snap and the victim, the court found this an avenue worth exploring. In any case, I’m uncomfortable ruling on this matter until a logical explanation can be found for the indoor lightning.”
“Sh-Shocking Snap has been briefed on the case and is ready to testify, Your Honor,” Cross Examine said.
“Are you alright, Ms. Examine?” Sterling Scales looked worried.
“She wasn’t happy about being called in at all,” Cross Examine winced. “Let’s hurry and get this over with. She’s a busy mare.”
“Let the first witness take the stand.” Sterling Scales nodded.
The electric blue mare sashayed up to the witness stand and preened her spark-laden mane once she got up. She looked throughout the crowd, a bright smile on her face.
“Name and occupation,” Cross Examine said.
“Shocking Snap; don’t wear it out. I’m the best reporter in all of Canterlot.” Shocking Snap was twisting herself this way and that; it might have looked seductive if it hadn’t been so fast.
“Witness. You seem to be looking for someone,” Judge Sterling Scales said.
“I…. I was wondering where the jury was, Youse Honor,” Shocking Snap said, trying to smile innocently.
“There is none. This is a murder trial and for murder trials the judge’s word is the only word,” Sterling Scales said. “And don’t bother trying to seduce me because I’m happily married.”
Shocking Snap looked like she’d just been told her dog was dead. “Oh…”
“OBJECTION!” Cross Examine screeched. “Stop defaming the witness! Nopony ever said she was trying to seduce anypony!”
“You can’t object to the judge,” Judge Sterling Scales scowled. “…but fair. That will stay off the record.” He banged his gavel. “In any case. Shocking Snap, have you been briefed on the defense’s accusation?”
“Yessir yer Honor,” Shocking Snap said, leaning on her stand and crossing her forelegs in an attempt to recover her composure by posing seductively. “It’s total ponyfeathers. Youse wanna know why?”
“That’s what I was about to ask, yes. Please testify to the court about why this accusation is untrue,” Sterling Scales said.
“Ain’t no problem; here I go.” Shocking Snap swiveled her hips to bring her to face Phoenix. “For starters, I’mma gonna go over this one more time; youse say I stole some police chick’s uniform, wore it to look like Cindy, then raced into the restaurant and zipped away in a flash of lightning? I got that straight?”
Phoenix nodded.
“Well, youse got a huge problem with youse theory and I’d like to take a moment to show youse all.” In a crackle and flash of light, a bolt of lightning leapt from Shocking Snap’s dematerializing body to the ceiling. She reformed once she reached a now-dead chandelier and hung upside down, smiling at everypony. “Youse see what’s at the stand now?”
Everypony turned to look. Shocking Snap’s black dress was draped over the railing.
“Youse see?” Shocking Snap said, zapping back down into her place. “I can’t bring my clothes with me when I travel by lightning. Wasn’t youse huge point that the police uniform wasn’t found in the restaurant? Where’s that leave youse then?”
“Oh dang it, I forgot,” Phoenix muttered, either to himself or Faerie, he wasn’t sure.
“What now?” Faerie Dust whispered back.
“Ahaha!” Cross Examine suddenly cackled, smacking her bench. “Where’s that leave you now, defense attorney?”
“That was mine line; shut up youse has-been.” Shocking Snap scowled at the prosecutor from where she was slowly and teasingly putting her dress back on.
“H-has been?” Cross Examine cried, distressed.
Phoenix was grateful for the distraction while the gears turned in his brain, but all too soon he judge brought his gavel down and brought it to a close.
“That’s enough,” Judge Sterling Scales said. “Well, Mr. Flight? Do you know where the uniform went?”
“Uh…”
“I have a floormap,” the bailiff said helpfully, slapping a diagram of Pony Joe’s restaurant in front of Phoenix.
“Oh… should have asked for that earlier,” Phoenix said, looking down at the restaurant plans. Lots of tables, the generator, the fireplace, the door to the back room… the back room would have been a good place to hide the clothes, but… no, she couldn’t get in there. Employee lock. And AJ insisted they’d run everywhere else in the store; while it was more likely she’d miss a pile of clothes than that she’d miss a body, it didn’t seem a wise thing to gamble on.
Wait. Oh ho ho, there was one place they wouldn’t have run into, and it would also be the perfect place to get rid of the clothes.
“Shocking Snap could easily dispose of the clothes by standing in this spot!” Phoenix said, jabbing his hoof on the map.
“The… the fireplace?” the judge said.
“Wha-?” Shocking Snap cried, recoiling.
“Didn’t think I’d realize it, did you?” Phoenix said, grinning. “Think about it; if she crouched down she could have fit inside the fireplace with no problem. Not only would there be no risk Twilight or AJ would notice or move it- who would run into a fireplace!?- but it left her a very convenient way to get rid of the uniform also. As everypony knows, fireplaces have chimneys.”
“Y-your point?” Cross Examine’s faked confusion ground on Phoenix’s senses like sandpaper.
“Simple,” Phoenix said, letting himself smirk a bit with growing confidence. “If Shocking Snap used the lightning rod to leave the restaurant, she would be on the roof, which is also where the chimney leads to. To get rid of the uniform, she’d just have to set it on fire by shooting lightning down the chimney. Who would find ash out of place in a fireplace?”
“Hold it!” Shocking Snap shouted. “Stop talking about things I coulda done, youse pesky lawyer. Youse haven’t even proved I went back to the restaurant after that dumb donut seller kicked me out!”
“I think I can!” Phoenix Flight shouted back.
“OBJECTION!” Cross Examine cried shrilly. “That’s…. y-you can’t, that’s all! I mean… even if you have evidence that Shocking was at the restaurant, that doesn’t prove she was there during the murder!”
“But I can prove that too,” Phoenix Flight said. Thank goodness for my weird habit of saving random junk. Now I finally remember what this thing is! “The evidence she was there after the murder is… this!” He held out the plastic disk from behind Pony Joe’s donut shop.
“What… what’s that?” Judge Sterling Scales asked, blinking at it.
But Shocking looked annoyed.
“Recognize this, do you, Shocking?” Phoenix asked. “Mind if I see your camera for a second?”
Shocking Snap glowered at Phoenix and Phoenix expected an objection, but she held the camera out.
Phoenix reached over and snapped the piece of plastic over Shocking’s camera lens; it fit perfectly and held on tightly.
“Ah!” Judge Sterling Scales said. “It’s a… a… camera blocker… thingy.” He stopped, blushing a bit at his revealed ignorance.
“A lens cap, yes,” Phoenix Flight said, quickly covering the mistake. “And more importantly, I saw with my own eyes that Shocking Snap had the camera with her the hour before the murder, and the lens cap wasn’t missing then!” He slammed his desk, then pointed at Shocking Snap dramatically. “So, Shocking, how did your lens cap end up at the donut shop?”
“Ah dropped it when I went back the day after the murder to investigate,” Shocking Snap said casually.
Phoenix blinked at her. Now he just felt silly holding his hoof out so dramatically. “Uh…”
“Ahahahaha!” Shocking Snap cackled, slapping the stand in her hysterical laughter. “Youse look so ridiculous! Youse didn’t think of that, youse moron? Oh wow, that was hilarious!”
“Okay, okay,” Phoenix muttered, putting his hoof back on his desk. He felt a warm blush creep up his cheeks. “That… that was when Pony Joe and I were in back, and we heard thunder?”
“Oh yes,” Shocking Snap said. “Youse two grounded punks were fun to mess with.”
The world was cruel when a unicorn was mocking a pegasus for being grounded.
“S-so it turns out you were just wildly speculating after all!” Cross Examine interjected. “Judge, I move that we let this witness retire!”
“This does seem like we just wasted a day over nothing…” Judge Sterling Scales muttered.
“No, stop!” Phoenix said. “We can’t let Shocking Snap leave until we answered the question of why lightning was in the building! Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten!”
“Oh, wanna let me crush youse last hope then?” Shocking asked, winking at Phoenix. “I know where the lightning came from and it sure as Tartarus wasn’t me.”
“Y-you what?” Phoenix said. “No, you can’t… that’s not… it was you! It had to be!”
“Shush youse mouth.” Shocking Snap swiveled around to smile up at Sterling Scales, blinking like an innocent maiden. “May I bring in my evidence, youse honor? I even cleared it with forensics an hour ago like a good girl.”
“Bailiff, please review the paperwork.” Sterling Scales looked intrigued. “Where is your evidence, then?”
“It was too big to carry into the court with me, what with those lead dampeners in the walls and all, but I’ll have them wheel it in.” Shocking Snap dipped her head in mock respect before flouncing out the courtroom doors.
Oh dang. Why had Phoenix thought he could do this without Mystic Faerie? He was so unprepared for this. What did that girl have up her sleeve?