The chariot soared over Ponyville at a much slower clip, the pegasi flapping as little as they could to maintain altitude, taking advantage of every little breeze and updraft like eagles. The Doctor and Ditzy rested in the carriage, both of them silent. It was preferable that way. Neither wanted to talk about what had just occurred. The guards either sensed this desire for silence or were too out of breath to speak anyway.
And so it was in silence that they set down next to the equally silent train station, devoid of life and light and sound and motion. It was mundane, and yet to the Doctor it was the most soul-numbing dread he’d faced yet today. “S’not right,” he murmured, the first time he had spoken in nearly twenty minutes. Briefly he wondered if that was some sort of staying-shut-up record for this body, but quickly pushed that thought aside. “An empty public building.” He shook his head. “Best go in, I suppose.”
He made for the door, but the male guard held out a hoof to block his way. “Not yet. We need to make sure it’s safe, first.”
The Doctor frowned. “Oi, who’s the expert here, anyhow?”
“Nopony is debating your expertise, Doctor,” the female guard said, trotting up to the door. “But you said yourself, you remember very little about these creatures. Frankly, the pony with the most experience with the crabs here is your wife.”
The Doctor’s eyes flicked over to the blonde pegasus exiting the carriage. “...Yes,” he admitted. “That’s true. Alright, carry on.”
“Thank you. Alright, Marty, what’s the position?”
The Doctor snorted back a laugh. “Sorry, ‘scuse me, Marty?”
“Short for Marteaux, after the Prench pegasus warrior,” the stallion said shortly. “She’s named Lancey, after Platinum’s best knight, Lake Lancer.”
“Mom had a thing for military history,” Lancey said with a grin. “Anyway, I say we take entrance maneuver LB-Eight-Oh. I’ll take point.”
“Roger,” Marty said, pulling out a crossbow from the undercarriage of the chariot and dropping into an offensive posture. Ditzy’s eyebrows shot up.
Lancey, meanwhile, tugged her armor a little more snugly up on her back, then pressed the gem inset at the front. Golden spikes shot out from all angles until she resembled nothing so much as a statue of a porcupine. The Doctor grinned. “They still using that little add-on?”
Lancey shrugged. “Hey, if it works…”
Ditzy’s eyebrows rose further. “Impressive,” she murmured. “I’d like a look at that later on, if you don’t mind…”
Lancey winked at the other pegasus mare. “We’ll see. First, let’s survive this, eh?”
With that, she bucked the door wide open and somersaulted in backwards, landing on her hind hooves and drawing out a sword all in the same motion. She quickly scanned up, down, left, and right, then spun around behind her. “Clear,” she called.
Marty let the crossbow fall to his side. “Right,” he said, trotting toward the doorway. “Let’s go.”
The Doctor and Ditzy followed him into the darkness of the abandoned station. “Right, ‘old on,” the Doctor said, drawing out his sonic. He lifted it up, and with a faint squeal, the screwdriver lit all the lamps alight.
Ditzy winced. “Uh, bright,” she muttered.
The Doctor looked at her, his brow crinkled and his brown eyes full of concern. “Where are they, do you think?” Lancey asked, glancing around. “I mean, there really aren’t that many places to hide in here, are there? Not for all the crabs they’d need to store.”
“Hm,” said the Doctor idly. “Not the question I was thinking of, but a good one, I suppose. Let’s see if you can answer this one, how did one of the Brachyura end up in Canterlot?”
Marty and Lancey glanced at one another, startled. “I… don’t know,” said Lancey.
The Doctor nodded. “There were other spots they’ve infected as well. Not as deeply, mark you, mostly just a couple of cases in any given city, but quite a few areas were impacted. How d’you reckon they got there?”
More blank stares. “Oh, come on,” the Doctor said. “Ditzy? I expect you’ll know.” He winked and nodded knowingly at a canvas bag hanging on a nail on a post near the tracks.
The grey pegasus gasped in dismay. “Oh, no. Oh, it’s not possible!”
Marty glanced between one face and the other. “Okay, what are we missing exactly?”
Ditzy sighed. “They travelled to other cities the same way they invaded all the homes and businesses in town. Through the mail…”
The bar was quiet, but buzzing with activity. Romana and Ruby continued to work on the oscillations of the frequency modulator, while Fleur helped Pinkie store the struggling silver crabs in Mason jars. The party pony’s forelimbs were alive with stinging welts and scratches from where the crabs had tried to stab at her, but she still reported that she was fine.
Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, was decidedly not fine. Fancy Pants and Scootaloo were attempting to keep her comfortable in a darkened booth, but considering that the mare was more or less a walking bruise after the fevered struggles the Brachyura had set her body through, there was only so much that they could do. Berry and Civil sat in a booth near the back of the tavern, adjusting to the rapid-fire shifts that had ended with the return of all parties to the correct bodies. The flower sisters huddled around a table, scared and exhausted beyond description. Rose’s forehead was pressed against the table. Hyacinth held a cold compress to her head. Lily, at a glance, seemed fine, but she kept twitching every so often. Daisy was staring at absolutely nothing at all, lost in a world of her own. “I suppose this is unusual?” Hyacinth asked quietly.
“The crabs are new,” Rose said, not lifting her head. “Invasions, attacks, chaos… nah, pretty normal for us.”
“Well, not normal,” Daisy says, frowning slightly. “It usually isn’t quite so intense.”
“Unless Discord is involved,” Rose agrees.
“Or Starlight Glimmer.”
“The Elements.”
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
Lily twitched again, far more violently.
Hyacinth stares and shakes her head. “How in the world do you live here.” It was half a question, half a statement of sheerest exasperation.
Rose lifts her head from the table. Daisy and Lily blink their eyes, returning to reality. The three glanced at each other. “Well, it isn’t all bad,” Daisy said. “Most of our problems are actually quite well-intentions. Even Discord, usually.”
Rose nodded. “Besides, we’ve got the Princess around to protect us. Well, when she isn’t the root cause of the problem. Then we have the, um, Chancellors of Harmony.”
Lily frowned. “Is it chancellors? I thought it was Advisors.”
“Are you sure it isn’t Burghers? Or Bursars?” Daisy asked. “Anyway, them. They’re generally the first line of defense against all the crazy that springs up.”
“Most of the crazy,” Lily corrected. “Remember, Pinkie Pie is the… the… Grand Pooh-bah of Laughter.”
There was a general murmur of agreement from the other two. Hyacinth simply stared blankly. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I still simply don’t understand. All of your problem solvers are… also the problems themselves?”
Another three-way glance. “It’s complicated,” Rose admitted.
“But it’s a nice place… usually,” Lily added.
“Carrot can’t move away from her farm anyway,” Daisy said with a shrug. “You get used to it eventually.”
Daisy looked at Hyacinth. Hyacinth did not appear to be convinced. “Well, it’s not for everypony,” she admitted.
“Especially not me,” Hyacinth agreed drily. “Well, at least we’re safe now.”
Frightened faces stared at her suddenly. “What?” asked Hyacinth, her throat dry. “What is it?”
Ground-shaking vibrations rocked the bar, and the group of survivors soon found themselves on the floor. Ruby barely managed to grab the modulator with her magic before it smashed to smithereens.
“Hyacinth!” Lily howled. “You can’t say things like that!”
“I did nothing!” the fuschia mare huffed, affronted. Rose looked ready to argue.
Just then, however, the bar shook once more, bottles and jars falling from the shelves and smashing into alcoholic puddles on the floor. “It’s okay!” Berry called. “I got a massive deduction for those shutters. They could keep out an Ursa if need be! We’re safe!”
“...Kinda,” said Ruby, staring at the ground. Everypony paused.
Limply, the young mare looked up from the boards. “Pinchy, what are you talking about?” Berry asked slowly.
“Mama, those attacks weren’t coming from outside,” Ruby said quietly.
“No,” Daisy whispered, setting a hoof against her heart..
“Oh no,” said Rose. “Oh, no, no, no.”
Pinkie said nothing, simply covering her mouth in silent horror.
Quietly, Hyacinth let her head fall against the table.
Rainbow Dash stared into space, furious at the world, her eyes burning with anger and what she would never admit were tears.
“Spike…” Lily whispered.
“Tell me what’s going on,” Berry demanded. “Somepony, anypony, tell me!”
“Underground,” Ruby said quietly. “They’re coming in from the cellar, mom.”
Vicious banging noises arose from beneath the boards, along with the sound of cracking wood.
“Well,” said Berry quietly. “There goes my backup stock.” In the corner, Dash let out a strangled snort of laughter.
“Xenophobes,” Romana whispered, gripping her sonic pick tightly. Her mouth was a perfect line. “Bloody—homogenizing—xenophobes! Cybermen and Sontarans and— and!”
“Yes, yes,” Fancy said idly, sliding a table over the top of the trapdoor to the cellar. “That ought to slow them up for a little while at least.” Nopony corrected him. Nopony said what they were all thinking, that a dragon, a pair of locked doors plus one melted one had only slowed the Brachyura down, and a table wouldn’t even keep them away for that long.
Zero hour had arrived.
“They were clever!” the Doctor exclaimed, gesturing to the mailbag as the sibling royal guards stared, stupefied. Ditzy quietly glared at the offending object. “They took advantage of their relatively small size to infiltrate homes and businesses in cardboard boxes, shipping themselves all over Ponyville and Equestria. They couldn’t do it at the post office, of course, oh no. The mail is watched too closely there. Here, though, the train station? They’ve probably got a backroom full of packages and stuff, all stamped and ready to go. Horribly understaffed, not given much thought or bother, the perfect spot to plan an invasion. That’s probably where all the ponies are. Wherever it is. Ditzy?”
“Oh! Uh, right, hang on…” The pegasus fluttered over the ticket counter and up to the door. She reached out a hoof and rattled the knob. “Locked. Doctor, can I have the sonic?”
“Right, setting… four-oh-five-point-eight… no, point-nine… Catch!”
Ditzy smiled as the screwdriver flew through the air. It was not a nice smile. It was a cruelty foreign to her facial muscles. She caught the screwdriver in one hoof. She made no move to open the door.
Marty frowned. “What’s the matter?” he asked.
The Doctor said nothing. He just stared at Ditzy sadly. “Is she safe?” he asked quietly.
“Oh, yes. We wouldn’t want to harm any of the little robots. Not when they can be so useful in the future,” Ditzy replied. Then, she whistled. An army of little silver crabs crawled out from behind the counter.
The Brachyura in Ditzy’s body pointed at the trio. “Attack.”