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// Day VI 
// Story: Celestia of Equestria's tonic experiment 
// by Acologic 
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‘No!’ Celestia gawped. ‘No way!’

Before her stood all twenty DAGs assigned to Tirek’s cell – and each one was squeaky clean. The centaur of the hour puffed out his chest and smirked. ‘Did I not say I would do the job?’

‘You didn’t, actually,’ said Luna, but she sounded impressed withal. In fact, she broke into polite applause, a smile spreading across her face.

‘H-how on earth –?’ Celestia shook her head, mouthing soundlessly, like a goldfish outside its bowl. ‘No – it simply isn’t possible. You don’t have the perseverance – or the muscle.’

‘Hey, now!’ said Tirek, firing up. ‘That’s uncalled for!’

‘But – but you’re a frail old fogey!’

‘How insolent! Instead of displaying some gratitude, you’re taking shots at my body! Absolutely typical!’ He snapped his fingers and turned his back.

‘Tirek, what we meant to say,’ said Cadence, ‘was well done. And thank you.’

Tirek spun around, smiling. ‘Why, thank you, Cadence, for your winning manners. If only some ponies were as polite as you.’

Celestia snorted derisively. Luna laughed.

‘Now,’ said Tirek once the latter had finished. ‘This is a long shot – but wouldn’t you say my actions merit some kind of reward? I mean, it’s only fair, right? I did as you asked – and I’m being mistreated, used and abused in the name of science. What’s the moral decision here, Your Highness?’

He grinned broadly at Celestia’s growing frown.

‘Hah!’ said Luna, grinning even more broadly. ‘He’s got you there, Sister! So, you’ll do the proper thing, right, and give the man his bone. I would!’

‘That’s because you’re a fair and just leader, for which I respect you.’ Tirek bowed low, and Luna tittered. Cadence gave a reluctant smile, which quickly vanished when Celestia scowled.

‘Very well. Say I agree to grant you one wish. What would it be?’

Tirek deliberated, as though he’d given the matter no thought. Celestia wasn’t convinced.

‘Out with it,’ she snapped. ‘What do you want?’

‘My cards back,’ said Tirek. ‘And my winnings. And also, the right to gamble in peace, with other inmates.’

‘Impossible,’ said Celestia. ‘You are in solitary, and here you will stay. That’s final.’

‘What if we cut a deal?’ suggested Tirek.

‘What sort of deal?’

‘I was thinking . . . a wager, perhaps.’ He paused, waiting for somepony to speak. ‘We’ll draw up a tournament. It’s long been discussed between the inmates and me. Blackjack. Three rounds to each match. Quick, yet – highly profitable.’

Celestia was chuckling. ‘A wager? You’re unbelievable. All right. Say I play along. What’s in it for me?’

‘If I don’t win, if I lose once, if I finish anywhere lower than first –’ Tirek gazed at her intently ‘– I lose. And if I lose, I clean every DAG in bottom block. Yes. Every DAG.’

Celestia’s eyes narrowed. ‘And if you win?’

‘Oh, if I win . . . well, I won’t ask for anything more than what’s fair.’ He smiled. ‘If I win, I keep all the winnings. All of them, and you must also hook me up with a catalogue or two. I’ll be going shopping!’

‘Only if you win!’ said Celestia, and she grinned wickedly. ‘All right, you’ve convinced me. I’m in. But in my own time.’

Tirek bowed. ‘Whatever you say.’

Luna fell to the floor – again. ‘Haha! Aha haha! You’re betting again! And you’re going to lose – again!’

‘What do you mean again?’ snarled Celestia. ‘I haven’t lost anything yet!’

‘Can I play?’ asked Cadence abruptly. ‘I’ve always wanted to try my hoof at cards.’

‘Of course!’ simpered Tirek. ‘I’m sure we can –’

‘I’m in charge here,’ said Celestia. She smiled. ‘Of course you can, Cadence.’

‘I’m in too!’ said Luna eagerly. ‘Heck, I was a blackjack champion in my –’

‘No, you weren’t,’ said Celestia, ‘but yes, you can play. And so will I.’ She smirked. ‘I want to beat you myself.’

Tirek laughed – very, very, very, very diabolically. (‘Sheesh!’ said Luna.)

‘Where’s my drink?’ he demanded. The now-spotless DAGs obliged. Tirek toasted and downed his tonic for the sixth time. He smacked his lips, his eyes ablaze. ‘I can’t wait!’

‘I’ll organise everything,’ said Celestia. ‘In the meantime, get used to sitting around.’

Tirek’s smile vanished. ‘Oh no. The boredom. The boredom!’

‘You get used to it,’ said Luna knowingly.